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Theo heard the heavy footsteps approaching behind him. He was crouched in front of the cages on the lower levels, head at an angle as he scrunched his nose playfully at the tabby cat blinking up at him.
“Forgot something?” He asked without looking, because while Braeden had left five minutes ago, he wouldn’t put it past her to come back squealing to get one last look. And he wouldn’t mind really, the cats all liked her. She was probably their favourite regular.
“Uh…”
Theo’s eyes snapped up at the uncertain voice, and he twisted on his feet only to meet blue eyes staring back at him.
“I’m… can I pet the cats?”
Theo stared for a few seconds, then nodded.
It wasn’t an unusual request here at the shelter. People like Braeden were more likely to adopt, but still came around to spend time with the other animals. People like this guy wringing hands in front of him like he’s afraid he’s asked too much— well, they tend to either get scared when the cats aren’t friendly and never show up again, or they get so attached they become regulars. They never adopt, though. The last such regular had been Isaac, before he moved away. He would come in with his vet boyfriend every other Saturday and tear up whenever the dogs so much as whimpered his way.
The guy crouched beside him. “What’s his name?”
“Her,” Theo corrected from his place near the cage. He was still crouched but he had a hand on the metal bars, waiting for the cat to nose at his fingers. “Onyx.”
“Cool.”
“She’s not the friendliest here but she’s the only one who probably won't scratch you the first time you touch her.”
“Oh,” blue eyes said, hollow, like he wasn’t really listening.
Theo turned his curious gaze on him, narrowed his eyes in contemplation, then made the decision to ask warily, “You okay…?”
Blue eyes’ head whipped to face him, eyes wide like he’d been caught in a crime, “Uh, yeah I’m… I’m fine, just—” he cleared his throat and looked down at hands wringing together over his knees. “I’m… I’m not. I’m not okay but it’s fine.”
Theo hummed then looked away. He slid the cage open slowly and Onyx simpered towards his outstretched hand. “Wanna talk about it?”
Blue eyes sniffled, and it caught Theo off guard. He leaned away from him and Onyx meowed her displeasure at his hand retreating.
“Are you crying?”
“No!”
“It’s not a big deal,” he all but shrugged, then leaned forward again. Onyx took the initiative to wrap around his hand. He supported her with his other hand and held her up to blue eyes’ downcast face. “Here, hold her.”
Blue eyes swiped the back of his hand over his face and sniffled again. He looked up and Theo was struck by his red-rimmed eyes.
“Oh,” he said as he let go of Onyx. “You were crying before.”
“I’m not sad or anything,” blue eyes retorted in a rush.
“Don’t have to be sad to cry.”
Onyx stayed still in his arms, but Theo could tell she wasn’t ready for any heavy touches so he put his hand in front of her nose so she could reach out if she wanted to. Blue eyes stayed still, too, probably scared she would scratch him even though Theo was kind enough to tell him she wouldn’t.
“I know that. I just didn’t want you to think I’m… depressed or something.”
“Nothing wrong with that either.”
“I know.”
“So you’re here to feel better,” Theo guessed.
“Yeah.”
“Fair. Cats can do that. Animals in general but I’m partial.”
“You have a cat?”
“If you count these guys, yeah…” Onyx finally blinked at him and relaxed into blue eyes’ arms.
“You don’t want one?”
Theo paused, considered being honest but thought better of it. It’s not like this guy needed to know anything about him. The conversation felt easy so far, but there was always that voice in the back of his mind telling him not yet, too soon, rein it in. Despite her best efforts, with her natural charm and clever threats, Braeden had still only managed to get a first name out of him. She gave up after the fourth month of grilling.
“I don’t have space for a cat. Shared apartment.”
“Hmm, same, kinda. But I wouldn’t want one anyway, cats usually hate me.”
Theo huffed a light laugh and assessed blue eyes curiously. “Then why’d you show up here?”
Blue eyes’ face was already flushed pink but the colour deepened as he looked away, then probably realising he couldn’t escape Theo’s stare, he started petting Onyx with more intent.
“I had a cat,” Theo blurted, before pressing his lips together at the sudden admission. He couldn’t take it back though. Blue eyes was staring at him. “Before. She was tiny and frankly rude. She’d claw at anything that moved, and loved the taste of blood. She was grumpy most of the time, but she’d always curl up beside me to sleep. She liked wet food and she hated thunder. She’d shake… but I liked it because she’d always wiggle her way under my shirt when she did. I had an issue… and had to go away for a while. When I came back she was gone. Never found her.”
Theo stayed still and watched as blue eyes digested the new information.
Then he whispered, “Did you go to jail or something?”
“What? No! I just left town for a while, drove around a couple cities until I felt like I needed to come back." He looked down at his hands before glancing back up again, meeting a penetrating blue-eyed gaze. He lowered his voice, "When I did come back, she was gone.”
“Why’d you leave?”
Theo’s jaw ticked, his hands growing warm before he smirked to hide the way the lump in his throat tickled, “Why were you crying?”
Blue eyes’ lips parted, probably taken aback by Theo’s defensive tone but then he scoffed and looked down at Onyx who had her eyes closed in his arms. Theo kept staring.
“So you’re here to feel better.”
Theo could swear his heart picked up at the words, and his thin, snappy response could probably be used as evidence to prove it. “What…?”
But Blue eyes wasn’t fazed. “You lost your cat and you probably blame yourself for whatever you think happened to her and now you’re here. To feel better.”
Onyx meowed softly in the silence stretched between them.
Theo grimaced. But he couldn’t find the words to respond. Not even the bitter ones he’d usually have on hand for times like these, when he felt vulnerable, exposed, seen.
“You do feel better, right?”
Theo wanted to spit something, vile words, the bile he felt rising at the incisor sharp examination of his story, but all he could do was dig nails into his palm and close his eyes for two seconds. Then he opened them and grumbled, “I guess.”
“Cats can do that.” Blue eyes smiled, and his red-rimmed eyes crinkled below his raised brows.
“Yeah, they can.”
Onyx purred in his arms and he leaned down slowly to press his nose to her fur. She purred again and blue eyes laughed, eyes widening in surprise at the lack of violence, probably. Theo wondered how many times he’d been scratched by cats. And why he looked so confident getting closer to Onyx right now.
“I feel better, too.”
Theo felt his heart pick up again, this time the surprise made him want to croak out a helpless really? But he kept quiet and offered a small smile instead.
“Are you guys open everyday?”
Theo could laugh this time, and he shook his head with it. “You think you’ll need to feel better everyday?”
“I might…" He bit his bottom lip. "But maybe I should just be honest and ask if you’re here everyday.” His cheeks were bright pink despite the way he looked at Theo, like he was certain he’d get the response he was hoping for.
“I’m not,” Theo smirked. Onyx purred again as blue eyes pet her head. “But I don’t think I’d mind if you show up whenever I am.”
Blue eyes smirked back. “I could do that.”