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„ I believe that you should reconsider" Griffin said as I was currently sitting beside him on my living room couch. Still clutching petals In my hand.
„i don't need help" Robin looked at shorter boy with pure emptiness in his eyes. He knew he doesn't have much time, after all this has been going for months.
Months without telling anyone, Griffin found it out on a pure accident when he went to a bathroom and saw Robin sitting in the corner, his hands full of blood and petals. Griffin knew what it was, he was reading about it a lot, however he would never guess it would happen to any of his friends. And he wouldn't definitely guessed that it would be Robin.
But things weren't always like this, before all of this happened Robin was completely normal guy like the others, he and Finney were indivisible... Until someone else came to their group.
One day they had to chose a partner for a project, Robin wanted to ask Finney but he was already talking to someone else. It was Donna, Robin wasn't surprised that Finney accepted her as his partner, he was talking nonstop about her, every topic they discussed even math it always ended with Donna. And Robin always felt slight pain in his chest but haven't paid to it that much attention as he should.
One day he saw them kissing and that was it, he started coughing, however it wasn't the normal cough as he firstly thought until he looked at his now bloody hand filled with petals. He was scared at first but he quickly realised what it was. He has hanahaki disease, one sided love that can be cured only with surgery or returned feelings. Otherwise the person will die.
Robin couldn't blame Finney for falling in love with her, she was all he wasn't, pretty, smart, kind, caring and the most important she was a girl.
Everyday was the same, everyday he was forced to look at them and act happy, at first he could endure it, but then he started coughing more and more. Who would say that rejection can hurt that much that it can actually kill you.
It hurts the most when the person you love the most and would die for, falls in love with someone that isn't you. Robin knew his hours have been counted as soon as he read an article about this topic. People who die from this disease have very painful death. But there is still a small change that Finney likes him even a little bit. How naive from him, if he would love him he wouldn't been coughing and vomiting petals.
„but Robin, you are my friend I cannot lose you, you need to get the surgery" Griffin offered a decision that was in Robins mind since the begging. But would he be able to do it? No he knew that the last thing he wants is losing the only person that made him feel good about himself.
„No" Robin replied coldly and Griffin sighed . He knew how stubborn Robin is, if he decides for something there is nothing that can talk him out of it.
„I would rather die then lose this feelings Griffin" Robin then says and lays his head down on the couch where they were both sitting on. Griffin didn't understand why is Robin thinking dying from one sided love is good way to die. Probably because he never had these feelings for anyone. But he was devastated about the thoughts of losing his friend that was always with him and protected him. Griffins eye looks down to a boy who had tears in his eyes while thinking about something.
Robin didn't want to die, he never wanted to. But thinking about life without Finney sounded like a nightmare. He actually liked the feeling being around him. He knew Finney would never loved him even if he was a girl, maybe they really weren't meant to be.
/time skip\
Robin sighs and looks around his empty room, he likes to wake up early not to do anything productive, just laying in bed and doing nothing. He looked at his phone just to immediately turn it off. Finney had posted a new picture, with Donna celebrating their one month anniversary. Robin felt sharp pain in his throat as he started coughing again and again. This wasn’t fair…
School was boring at usual, well only math was. He never was good in it but he still tried his best to get at least 70% from a final exam. Finney used to sit with Robin but now he only sat with Donna. Robin felt replaced but couldn’t blame him for it. He was trying to survive another pointless day without vomiting or coughing. Other days he could, if we don’t count Griffin, nobody even noticed Robins sickness. He was glad though, he doesn’t have the nerves to tell them he refuses to take the surgery. They wouldn’t understand.
This time was different, Finney and Donna are sitting right behind him which basically means that Robin unfortunately hears everything they say. Later this day, they were discussing how they want to live together and other stuff like that. Robin felt another pain in his throat, he knew what will happen next so he ran from the classroom fast as he could. He left many confused looks on his classmates faces and was too busy trying to find the bathroom that he completely ignored the fact that someone was following him.
Robin was wrong about one thing. Finney never ignored Robin and the fact he was now avoiding him made him little worried. He tried to talk to others but the only thing he got as a response were weird looks from Griffin. However he has never given up. He made sure to know what happened to his best friend. As he was following Robin to the bathroom he instantly noticed a petal on the ground. It wasn’t a regular one, he was sure about that cause it had blood on it. Then he heard a loud cough and he realised why was Robin acting like it.
„Robin…” Finney says with hurt look on his face.
„it isn’t how it looks like Finney” Robin tried to make a meaningful sentence however the only thing he managed to do was just cough more and more.
„why have you never told me about this Robin, I thought we were friends and why were you avoiding me in first place” Finney asks, he had so many questions he wanted to ask his friend.
Robin just looks away from Finney, there was no way he would say the truth.
„it is nothing Finn, I can handle it just go to Donna or whatever” he tells his friend who was still In pure shock about all this situation. Robin was his best friend why he doesn’t want to tell him who he likes.
Robin stands up and walked out of the bathroom without looking at his friend who was sitting on cold ground still in shock.
It was the end of school day, Robin managed to avoid talking to Finney and successfully made it to home. Nobody was home at this time. Robin knew he didn’t have much time. It was too long and he already had big trouble with breathing. He grabbed a random paper that was laying on the desk and started writing letters. First was for his mother where he apologised that he couldn’t be a better son cause of his problems at school, also that he never told her about his disease. Second was for Griffin, which was full of apologies and hoping the best for him. The third and final note was for the person who started it all. For Finney Blake…
After Robin finished his letters he could feel tears running from his eyes and continuing pain in his throat. He knew this is the end… there is no one who will save him, he was all alone…
„hey Robin you let the doors unlocked so i thought maybe we should ta-“ Finneys voice breaks when he spotted Robin, laying on the ground with bloody petals around his face. Finney was standing there in shock. He ran up to him tried to denial the truth that his friend was dead. Warm tears started running from his eyes as he held dead body of his friend. Only then he noticed a small letter with his name on it. He grabbed it and opened it.
Dear Finney, if you are reading this I am probably dead right now, but don’t think this is your fault, it was my problem I fell for you at first place. Please enjoy your life with Donna or with anyone you will be happy. I love you.
-love Robin
If only Robin knew that Finney liked his from the beginning but was too scared to admit it…