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"Could you maybe pick up some bananas from the shop? We ran out." Childe yells from the other room as Kunikuzushi throws his stuff in his bag hurriedly. He has an appointment with his publisher to discuss his progress and he is running late already. As an amateur writer, his life had been much easier, with less stress and fewer expectations. At first, he had been delighted when his first horror roman became a hit in all of Teyvat, but the happiness at getting a raise in salary soon dwindled when he realized his publisher expected a lot more from him.
"Yeah, okay." He yells back, slightly annoyed. He hopes he will remember Childe's request when he's on his way home. He knows his roommate will complain all day if he does forget to run by the shop.
"And some bread!" The tall, red-haired man adds to the shopping list, making Kunikuzushi grumble under his breath.
"Anything else, asshole?"
"Well, could you... no, I'm on a diet. No candy. Bread and bananas are okay." Kunikuzushi hears the chipper voice from the other room.
"Fine," He calls back. "Dickhead" he mutters and sneers while getting his shoes.
"Bye, Kuni!"
"Don't call me that!" He slams the door shut behind himself and stumbles through the hallway towards the elevator as he tries to get his shoes on while walking. Scolding himself for getting up too late once again, he gets into the elevator with the old lady from upstairs. He is still trying to get on his left shoe.
"Hello, Miss Beaker." He greets her as the old lady scoffs. She is never in a good mood. She turns her head to the side and Kunikuzushi sees it as a victory. At least she is not complaining about how Childe and he are always being too loud like she usually does. It's not as if the ugly little rat she calls her dog ever stops barking though.
As soon as the elevator doors open, Kunikuzushi is out, hurrying outside and down the sidewalk for the ten-minute walk to his publisher's office. He easily moves past the people without touching any of them. He knows his way around Inazuma City, even the smallest alleys. He knows where the drug dealers hide and in which alleys the most crimes happen. He checks them out every now and then when there is nothing major going on.
It's all part of his side job of course. As the local superhero, the Balladeer news reporters call him, he is supposed to look out for criminals to beat up. It's a win-win deal actually. The police get help cleaning up the dirty assholes of the world and Scaramouche gets to punch out his frustrations on people who actually deserve it. That's what he keeps telling himself at least.
He arrives soon at his appointment, shooting a greeting to the secretary who tells him his publisher is expecting him and to go right in. So he does, hurrying up the set of stairs to the upper floor and knocking on the door.
"Come in."
Kunikuzushi opens the door and pastes his best smile on his face. He knows he looks very dorky with his glasses, hair slicked back and formal clothes. "I'm sorry I'm late." He tells her.
"It's fine. I only just arrived myself." Clara tells him from her seat at her desk. "Have a seat, Mister Kunikuzushi."
So he sits down on the black chair in front of her desk, taking out the papers he printed early this morning in a hurry.
"So, your next novel is due in a month, how is it coming along?" She asks, her grey eyes studying his reaction.
Kunikuzushi smiles politely and hands her the paper. "I'm almost finished. It's going good, miss Lancaster." He tells her as she looks over the statistics and a short abstract about the plot. He knows there is still a lot of work left to do. The editing team will probably change some parts of the plot too and in the worst case, he will have to rewrite half of it. But for now, his job is just to deliver the prototype of his next work.
"This looks amazing once again." She tells him and places the paper in a folder at the side of her desk. "As you know, we have something more to discuss."
Kunikuzushi nods, aware that his contract with the company will end in a few months. He hopes they will renew it. The pay is amazing.
"Your contract will end once your novel is published and in the bookshop." She runs her red, manicured nails through her grey hair. Kunikuzushi guesses she is older than fifty, even though she doesn't look a day older than forty. "We don't want you to leave us yet. You make a great profit from your books, and the readers really like you. So, we have decided to offer you another contract."
Kunikuzushi nods at her, distracted by the window right behind her. He can see the blue and red lights flash as they drive by the office. He can hear the sirens of the emergency services. It's the police and a few ambulances.
He has to go.
"... to write five more years for us and publish one book every year. There are more conditio-"
"Seems like a good deal," Kunikuzushi says, stuffing the rest of his papers back in his bag and getting up. "I'll think about it. Send me the contract and the conditions in my mail and I'll have a look at them."
Miss Lancaster looks at him bewildered. "Mister Kuni-..."
"Thanks for having me today." He smiles at her politely. "I have to go. Bye!" He hates leaving like this, but people's lives are at stake here. There might even be children involved and Kunikuzushi won't be able to live with himself if he could have stopped it from happening and didn't. So he suppresses the feeling of guilt as he hurries out of the office and steps into the elevator. He presses the button to go to the top floor and hurries to find the door to the roof.
"Come on, come on." He mutters to himself as he gets into his suit, spray-dyes his hair purple, takes out his contacts and hides his bag quickly. It's all necessary to keep his identity hidden. Something he is very careful about too, as he hates getting recognized as a writer and getting stopped in the streets to sign his book for fans. Gods, how would he survive if his identity actually got revealed?
He stands on the edge of the roof and frowns. He lost sight of the ambulances. He has no idea where to go.
"Fuck."
The sound of his cell phone beeping distracts him from looking out over the city. He gets it quickly and checks the text. It's from an unknown number.
Kiminami shopping center, Inazuma City 2.
Scaramouche frowns behind his mask. It's the address of a shopping center in the very centre of Inazuma city. There is no more information in the text, but he feels like this just may be the place he is supposed to be.
So he puts his phone away and jumps off the building. He doesn't waste time making the entire drop. Instead, he flies straight to the address the text mentioned. It isn't long before the sight of police cars and ambulances meets him. He lands straight in the middle between the panicked officers. "What's going on here?" Scaramouche asks, looking over the building. Behind them, a crowd of spectators has formed.
"Robbery with hostages." A police officer says. "They have guns and have locked down the entire building. There are at least ten of them."
Scaramouche nods worriedly. "Is there any way I can get inside?" He asks them and the officer nods. "Through the roof. It's entirely out of glass and they always leave some panels open for fresh air. You could slip in through there."
"Thank you, officer," Scaramouche bows his head in thanks and immediately flies to the top of the building, looking inside and seeing five armed criminals immediately. They are walking around, keeping an eye on the civilians they pushed against the wall with their hands on their heads. Scaramouche can see the panic on their faces.
He has to be careful about this. If one of them sees him, they will surely alarm each other and start shooting or threatening civilians. He waits until he sees one of the men wander off towards a corner away from the crowd. He takes his chance and lets himself fall out of the air, into the building. He lands soundlessly behind the man with one swift movement he takes his bo from his back and hits the man against his head, knocking him unconscious. Before he can fall to the ground, Scaramouche catches him.
He looks around. No one had seen anything. He quickly drags the man into a shop and disarms him, tying him up with a few articles of clothing. Sometimes he has to be creative with these things.
He quickly runs back to get his weapon of choice, the bo. He has been training with it since he was little and is now a skilled warrior in the art of the bo.
Upon retrieving his weapon, Scaramouche hides behind the wall at the entrance. He is looking into a mirror to see what is going on in the big hall. Two of the other men are on their way over, making the hero curse under his breath. When two of them come over there is a chance one of them can scream before he took them both out. He has to think of something fast.
When the two goons come closer and call out to their friend, he knows what to do. He waits for them to enter the building and throws a force field around one of the men, which he makes entirely soundproof. He then shrinks it tightly around the man out the man inside, making him choke for air.
All of that happens in a second, in which the other man looks at his friend in confusion before also getting hit on the head with Scaramouche's bo. He too gets knocked out and is tied up next to the first one.
When the third goon passes out due to lack of air, Scaramouche removes the forcefield and ties him up to next to the others. He makes sure they are gagged too so they can't betray his position before taking down the other two men.
And so he sneaks out of the shop and hides behind the small wooden shed they build for a pop-up Flying Tiger shop. He hurries around it and finds himself eye-to-eye with one of the last guys.
"Shit." He brings out, knowing damn well he has been discovered. In a fast move, he swings the bo at the other guy's head, who dodges it and hits Scaramouche with the back of his gun. The superhero takes the full blow and groans when he sees stars. He feels the man grab his suit by the front and drag him out of his hiding space.
"Hey, Chester! Look what I've found." The goon calls out to his buddy and chuckles as the other looks over in surprise.
"Superman? You caught Superman?" He laughs in disbelief.
Scaramouche shakes his head and looks at the two of them. "How many times do I have to tell you people that I am not Superman?" He groans. "Do I look like a fucking alien?"
They both look at him in disbelief. "We captured you and that is what you're worried about?" The man shakes his head. "Hold him while I shoot him."
The next thing Scaramouche knows is the gun pointing at his head. The grip of the man behind him has tightened around his shoulders.
"For fuck's sake," He swears and rolls his eyes.
The gunshot echoes through the hall, but the bullet never gets anywhere near the hero. The forcefield he created around himself bounced it off into a wall.
He takes the second of surprise that has the criminals frozen in place as an opportunity to escape. He places his foot on the forcefield and pushes backwards. The goon behind him doesn't see it coming and falls back on the floor. Scaramouche falls on top of him, but quickly jumps up and turns to him. He pushes the button on his bo to make the stick extend. The man struggles to get up and abandons the gun that fell on the floor.
He leaps at the hero in front of him and tries to hit him with his fists, but Scaramouche is faster than him. All he has to do is poke the bo between his feet and step aside to have the man trip. He falls forwards and hits his head on an iron flower container. He gets knocked out cold.
But there is one more person to take care of and Scaramouche swirls around, ready to pounce on the last goon with a smirk on his face, which only lasts a second.
He widens his eyes when he takes in the scene.
The man has his gun pressed against a young woman's head. She is crying in fear and clawing at the man's arm, wrapped around her shoulder and neck. She is pregnant.
"Step closer and I'll shoot her. " He threatens.
Scaramouche drops the bo and kicks it away from himself. He immediately puts his hands up. "Okay, I'm not going to attack. Just let her go." He says carefully, not wanting to make any sudden movements. "If you let her go, I'll let you walk free. No police, nothing." He says.
"As if." He growls. "Stay where you are and keep your hands where I can see them."
Scaramouche puts his hands up higher. He keeps a close eye on the male as he shuffles back with the woman still near him. "Come on, man. Just let her go. She is having a baby."
"I don't care! Shut up!"
Another gunshot echoes through the hall. The other hostages scream in panic, not knowing what is going on.
Scaramouche darts towards the lady and catches her when she falls, away from the body of the criminal. A police officer of the special team is standing at the main entrance, gun still in his hand. More agents start to come into the shopping center as the officer gives the clear.
"It's okay." He tells the crying girl in his arms. "We got 'em all. You are safe." He rubs her back trying to comfort her. "Go with the nice officer over there and she will help you to medical attention. We don't want any extra stress for the baby." He tells her. "It will all be okay."
She is taken away from him quickly then to get a medical check-up. Scaramouche is still a bit shaken himself but walks to the nearest officer to tell him where he left the rest of the criminals. He doesn't waste any time listening to anyone or anything as he pushes off the ground and flies away to where he left his things.
He never had to deal with anyone dying before and finds himself to be in some sort of trance as he picks up his stuff and slings the backpack over his shoulder. He takes the elevator down and tries to shake off the feeling of shock.
He has more stuff to do today. Like, going to the nearest supermarket on his way home. He had orders from Childe after all.
It is only when he notices the small crowd gathering around himself when he is picking out bread that he realizes... He has not yet changed out of his super suit. The purple and black spandex is clinging to his body just like it was half an hour ago when he was in the shopping center.
Scaramouche curses himself silently for his stupidity, deciding it is too late to change now anyway. He will be getting the damn bananas and bread he needed in the first place before changing back into his normal clothes.
All eyes are on him, he can feel it and feels awkward when he sees a teenage girl staring at him with hearty eyes. An elderly lady is goggling his ass, which he knows looks amazing, but still, he has never felt this awkward before. He hopes the teenager will leave him alone. He is twenty-six for God's sake, and not even into girls. This is almost just as bad as hearing Childe's crush on his alter ego and hearing the porn dreams he had over him.
"Superman?" There is a tug on his sleeve and when Scaramouche looks down, he sees an adorable little boy looking up at him with glossy brown eyes. His brown curls are hanging over his face. "Up?" He makes grabby hands, and Scaramouche abandons the bread he was holding so he can pick up the little guy. He loves children. As rude and irritable as he may be as a person, he will always have a soft spot for kids.
He looks around to see who the little boy belongs to and sees his mother nod at him.
"I love you, Superman." The boy whispers and hugs the older man tight. "You saved my mommy from the terrible man."
It makes Scaramouche smile at him. It's always nice to know that he saved a family from sadness. "You are welcome, sweetheart." He strokes his back and beams when the toddler pats his cheek with his hand before making grabby hands to his mother. She steps forward and takes him from the superhero. "Thank you." She whispers to him.
When she disappears into another aisle to continue shopping, he notices that more people have gathered around him. He blushes bright red. Scaramouche is usually very good at avoiding crowds and press staring at him and throwing questions at him. Coming to the supermarket today had been a mistake. He blames Childe for this.
He quickly turns around and gets the bread he was holding and puts it in a bag before turning again.
"Excuse me." He quickly says as he makes his way through the crowd, bread in his hand and going for the bananas in the other aisle.
Scaramouche takes a deep breath trying to control himself. Just a few more minutes before he can get out of here.
He grabs the first bunch of bananas he can get his hands on before he all but runs to the checkout. He sighs nervously when he sees there is a long queue in front of him. Seems like half the city decided to do grocery shopping today. Fucking great.
He rocks back and forth on his feet as he makes eye contact with the lady behind him in line. He smiles at her politely.
"Shouldn't you be fighting off evil?" She asks him accusingly. Scaramouche's eyes widen at how rude she is being.
"I-uh." He answers meekly, taken back by her rudeness. "I need to eat too."
She huffs. "Really? A super like yourself needs to eat? What if someone is dying right now and you aren't there?" Scaramouche doesn't have an answer for that. His mouth hangs open uselessly as he stares at her.
"Well, lady, people die all the time and I don't see you risking your life to save civilians. Perhaps you should get lost." Both Scaramouche and the lady look at the angry-looking cashier who is glaring at the lady. His hair is white with a red highlight. His red eyes seem to be speckled with gold, and Scaramouche has never seen anyone as handsome as this man before. Red taints his cheeks as he blushes once again.
The lady huffs again and looks away as she storms off to another queue. The red eyes focus on him for the first time and Scaramouche feels butterflies come alive in his stomach. "I'm sorry for how rude people are to you." The man says and sighs.
Scaramouche is still speechless, trying to make his brain catch up. "Uh-I She..." He coughs and shakes his head. "Thanks for standing up for me... but I'm used to it." He shrugs.
"I'm Kazuha." He tells the superhero with a smile. "What's your name?"
Scaramouche opens his mouth but stops. "Nice try, Kazuha." He chuckles.
The man chuckles at him. "Then what can I call you?" He asks as he takes the items Scaramouche is buying and rings them up.
"There is not really a name," The hero admits. "The reporters seem to be fond of the name Balladeer though. Though, it is not an official one."
"Well then, Superman, would you like a bag for that?" He winks at Scaramouche, which makes the superhero flush bright red once again.
"Ah, no. I'll manage without." He says, proud that he did it without stuttering.
"That will be 2.90 then, please." Scaramouche hands him a ten and tells him to keep the change. "For saving me today." He winks.
The remark gets a laugh out of the cashier and Scaramouche smiles with him.
"Okay, do you want the bill?" Kazuha pulls the paper from the machine and takes a pen from his uniform. He quickly writes something down on it. Scaramouche can see him add a smiley face.
"I guess I do want it now." He mutters and takes the bill, curious as to what the white-haired god had written on it.
"See you around, Superman." Kazuha winks teasingly
Scaramouche leaves the shop with a smile, looking down at the phone number on the bill and the carefully written 'Call me xx Kazu ;)'
He shakes his head fondly before tucking the bill away carefully and pushing off to fly home over the city.
Next time he comes around though, he should remember to take off his suit.