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“Without spirit, would we even know the world had ended? The world–time, space, all creation–exists only because our minds are there to perceive it."
This line, taken from an ancient text, had been plaguing Cynthia all day. Her studies of the ancient mythology of Sinnoh had taken her through many a philosophical exercise, yet something about this one seemed different.
At the highest echelon was the one referred to in text as “Almighty Sinnoh,” a being that served as the highest deity. This name seemed to reference both Dialga, god of time, and Palkia, god of space, in equal measure, although recently uncovered documents indicated another, higher being may be the true Sinnoh, its origins lost in time.
For their own part, Dialga and Palkia governed time and space, the forces that held together the universe. One power could not exist without the other; both were necessary to weave the fabric of reality. On the reverse side of this world was Giratina, who protected this balance from being distorted.
However, below them were the lake guardians – Uxie, Azelf, and Mesprit. These beings governed human spirit, with Uxie providing humans knowledge, Azelf gifting the power of will, and Mesprit bestowing emotions. These three were far from the same deific status as Dialga and Palkia, and were seldom referenced. Yet this text seemed to imply a greater significance, and the true purpose of the Red Chain that Cyrus had once forged.
That all reality was subject to personal interpretation was nothing particularly novel to her. Yet the notion that reality wouldn’t exist without perception was a strange leap in logic. Surely there would be an external reality that continued on, even without humans or Pokemon there to witness it. To further claim that it was only through these essences of spirit that perception was possible...it was a bit much.
Cynthia’s stomach growled, breaking her concentration just long enough for every discomfort to come into view. Hunger, aches, exhaustion; all of these sensations suddenly overwhelmed her at once. Confident she couldn’t sleep while feeling so hungry, she resolved to address this issue first. Her chair creaked as she forced herself to her feet, rubbing at her aching back. She hadn’t been studying that long, had she? With a brief stretch, she threw open the door to her study.
The living room was dark and deserted. No trace of light remained outside, and she briefly wondered just how late it had gotten. Wandering to the kitchen, she checked the nearest clock. 1:30am. Cynthia hummed. She vaguely remembered it being around 6pm just after dinner. Perhaps she’d been studying longer than she realized. She opened the fridge and looked around for options. It was too late to attempt cooking, lest she risk waking the others. Not to mention, such an attempt would likely only serve to make Darach’s life harder in the morning. Checking over the available finger foods, Cynthia grabbed a stick of cheese and can of soda, being sure to take a package of crackers to round out the late-night meal. Provisions acquired, Cynthia returned to her study, began to snack, and looked over the documents once more.
Without spirit, reality wouldn’t exist. Therefore, those without spirit could not truly see reality. Or perhaps, we would not exist within reality, were it not for spirit? There must be a material world beyond simple perception, after all. Yet if she went to sleep now, and never awoke the next morning, but her body continued to move, what would it experience? Was that not a real being moving through real space? Or did it simply not matter? Were her dreams, only experienced by her sleeping mind, any less real while they’re happening? Would those sensations be any less real solely because no one else could perceive them? Was that itself not a facet of one’s reality? But if something is unknown, perhaps that, too, is your reality. You cannot be bothered by what you don’t know. Perhaps you can only know reality by what you, yourself, know. But how do you know what you know, and what is beyond your grasp? Would you even know to look for it? Would not searching be the same as not living? How do I know what I know? How do I know if my reality is true? How do I know I’m still me?
These thoughts began to weigh on her, and her eyes fluttered closed. As she leaned over her desk, laying her head across her arms, a sound echoed within her head. “Kyouuuun,” the voice echoed, even and clear, and one answer came to her mind.
“I think, therefore I am.”
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The next morning, Cynthia awoke with greater pains than usual. Her arms had fallen asleep from her head resting on them, and her back was screaming from being hunched all night. Though the room was dark, she could hear chatter in the next room. If the others were up, no doubt she had overslept. As she moved around the room, her body creaked and cracked, stiff from the previous day’s studies. She’d decided then that a bit of exercise may be her best course of action, and selected her outfit accordingly: a black top and pants, with blue jacket and half skirt. She felt a trip to the mountains, with its cold winds, would be more appropriate for waking up her tired body.
As Cynthia entered the common living space, Darach was first to greet her. “Good morning, Lady Cynthia,” he said with a bow. “Your breakfast is waiting in the kitchen.”
“Thank you, Darach,” Cynthia said with a smile. The man was on top of things, as ever.
“Nice of you to join us,” Caitlin said with a slight smirk. “I had thought perhaps you’d forget to eat again.”
“Not this time,” Cynthia said, embarrassed to admit she almost had. “But I will be eating light.”
“Training day?” Caitlin asked. Cynthia nodded as she began to shovel eggs into her mouth. “I see. Darach? Would you please prepare a lunch?”
“Just one?” he asked, clarifying Caitlin’s own intent.
“Just one,” she confirmed. “I don’t find myself in the mood for the mountains today.” She’d been able to discern Cynthia’s plans with just a look at her outfit.
“Very good, I’ll have one ready shorty,” Darach said, hastening to the kitchen.
“Fank ‘oo,” Cynthia tried to call behind a mouthful of toast. Caitlin shook her head, albeit with a soft laugh.
“Can we expect you to be back at a reasonable hour this time?” Caitlin asked.
“Probably.” Cynthia wasn’t trying to be dismissive, but her sense of time was not always the best.
“We’ll send a search party if you’re not back before dark,” Caitlin teased.
“Here you are,” Darach said, placing a small basket on the table. Two cloths had been looped around it, to allow her to carry it on her back. “Forgive my assumption, but I took the liberty of packing some extra lemon poffins for Lucario.”
Cynthia smiled. “Excellent thinking, Darach. Those are his favorites, I’m sure he’ll be pleased.” Finished with breakfast, Cynthia hopped up, and slung the basket on her back. “I’m off!”
“Take care,” Caitlin said with a small wave.
Once outside, Cynthia released Lucario from his Pokeball. “Ready to train?” she asked. Lucario barked a sharp response, and began running ahead, Cynthia rushing to keep up. By this point, their routine was so set that Lucario didn’t need to ask where they were headed. It went straight for the mountain pass, pushing itself as fast as it could go. Cynthia was just behind, striving to push past. Lucario was a born fighter, and in the peak of his physical condition. She’d yet to truly beat him in a race, but the drive to push past limits burned as strongly in her as it had her partner. Snow crunched loudly beneath her boots as they pushed toward the familiar cave where they sparred. Lucario turned back to face her, and gave a bark of triumph. “Yes, yes, you’ve won again,” she admittedly, placing the basket on the ground. “Though I kept up pretty well. Either I’m getting better, or you’re letting yourself go.” Lucario growled. “Only joking,” she said with a laugh.
Cynthia found their familiar campsite, and lit a fire. The light illuminated the cavern, and the faint heat rejuvenated her frozen skin. She took her place across from Lucario, and stood perfectly still, eyes closed, attempting to clear her mind. In battle, conscious thought was often a distraction. Her body needed to move with a practiced ease that assessment and calculation couldn’t match. Getting oneself into a calm and familiar state was a required start.
At an unspoken signal, their eyes snapped open, and training began. Their bodies flowed in perfect, practiced motions, a mirror image of one another. Each action came naturally, drawing all focus not into the monitoring of the motion, but into that familiar feeling. This single-minded attention to one thing, and one thing only, calmed the nerves and the mind.
Yet today, Cynthia found her mind wandering. Her confidence felt shaky today, perhaps still burdened by the riddles posed by yesterday’s text. Should she really be here training, when she should be studying? This was something she’d question in herself, at times. She could be too mercurial; too untethered. Yes, she wanted to unravel the ancient mysteries, but she also just wanted to see the world, to spend time with good friends, and to train and become stronger. Yet among them, none took primacy. She envied those for whom it could. People like Professor Rowan, who had spent his entire life focused solely on Pokemon and their evolution, and never wavered in that goal. Or Red, whose single-minded devotion to battle led him to renounce his rightful title as Kanto’s champion, and leave his entire life behind in pursuit of greater heights. She wondered why she, herself, couldn’t be more like that.
Lucario growled sharply, abandoning its pose. Cynthia stopped. He was right. Her mind was distracted. “Sorry, friend. Shall we start again?” Lucario shook its head and growled. Of course. Lucario could sense auras, and must be able to sense the conflict in her heart. “I’m just not sure about training today,” she admitted. “Perhaps it’s best we go back.”
Lucario growled, and assumed a fighting stance. When Cynthia failed to respond, Lucario rushed forward, its fist stopping just short of her. Lucario gave a sharp bark in challenge, as if asking “Are you just going to quit?” Cynthia smiled.
“Right, right,” she said, giving in. “I understand. Let me focus.” Lucario smiled, and assumed its stance. Cynthia closed her eyes, slowing her breathing. He was right. She’d taken him all this way for a chance to train. It wasn’t just her goal; it was their shared drive. Her mind may be preoccupied, but she would push herself forward, for her partner’s sake. After a quick reset, the two began to flow in sync once more. With each strike and movement, her doubts seemed to vanish, and she fell into the task at hand.
Yes, she admired dedication to a singular goal. But, it was not something Cynthia wanted for herself. There was simply too much she wanted to do. Her training was important, of course, but it couldn’t be her whole life. She would train and become stronger. She would travel the world, friends by her side. She would unravel the mysteries of the ancients. These different goals, they all carried equal importance. She couldn’t set one aside for the others. So instead, she resolved to excel in all of them. Nothing would be beyond her grasp.
And so today, Cynthia trained until sweat beaded her face, and her muscles ached. As the light outside the cave began to dwindle, she called a halt. “We’d best get back, before Caitlin actually sends someone to look for us,” she said. She had meant it as a joke, but the possibility of it being serious was all too real.
As they left the cave, emptied basket thrown onto her back, they watched the setting sun. Sparkling lights danced along the waves of the ocean, captivating her for a moment. This sight? This was what she wanted out of her travels. The beauty and wonder of the world, and the experiences of the people who had looked at these same waters ages before she was born. This is what she wanted, and through constant efforts, she would have it.
As she stared out over the ocean, a sound echoed in her mind. “Kyuuun,” the voice rang out, strong and proud, and another answer presented itself.
“I will, therefore I am.”
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The cold mountain air had been refreshing, and the training just right to get the soreness out of her back. Well, not entirely out, but to at least exchange the rusty feeling for the kind after a good workout. It had been a pleasant day, all in all. Though far from Sinnoh, Pasio’s mountains carried a similar feeling that brought her back to her days at Coronet, and the training she would go through with Maylene.
“I’m home!” Cynthia called, stepping into the villa. The warmth within was a stark contrast to the chill outside, and it warmed her weary body. In her youth, this same sense of relief would wash over her when she came to see her grandmother after playing outside. She remembered those joyful days, coming in and nestling by the fireplace, cup of hot cocoa in hand, listening to her grandmother’s tales of the ancient legends. Those feelings certainly played a part in her interest.
“Welcome home,” Darach said with a bow. “I’ve heated up dinner – a full plate of steak.” Sure enough, a single plate with a large portion of steak and a heap of potatoes sat. The savory aroma wafted over her, and Cynthia felt her mouth watering.
“As always, Darach, you know just what a girl wants,” Cynthia teased, sitting down and tearing into her food.
“Actually, this meal came at Lady Caitlin’s recommendation,” Darach said. “She had it specifically requested.”
“I see,” Cynthia said with a quiet smile. The warmth of kindness from those who care about you filled her heart.
“I’ve had a bath drawn as well, for when you’ve finished,” Darach said. “Please, take your time.” With that, Darach left the room, carrying a plate of curry outside to Lucario. Cynthia finished her meal, and with a satisfied groan, rose to her feet, making her way to the bath.
Inside, the mirrors were covered with steam. The water was hot to the touch at first, but after settling in, removed every ounce of tension from her muscles. Cynthia laid her head back against the edge of the tub, closing her eyes and soaking in the warmth.
After resolving to put her research on hold for just the evening and dressing for bed, Cynthia made her way to the bedroom. Caitlin was sitting up, reading a book. At Cynthia’s entry, she looked up and smiled. “Feeling better?” she asked.
“Much,” Cynthia said with a stretch. Cynthia crawled into bed, lying on her back. “Thank you,” she said, turning to face Caitlin.
“For what?” Caitlin asked casually, placing her book on the nightstand and turning off the light.
“For dinner,” Cynthia said. “Darach said you recommended it.”
“Well, you’ve seemed off,” Caitlin said, cuddling up to Cynthia and placing her head on her chest. “I wanted you to have something nice when you came home.”
“I’d say you succeeded,” Cynthia said, pulling her closer.
“Will you be studying tomorrow as well?” Caitlin asked with a yawn.
Cynthia thought about it. “No,” she finally said. “Let’s make tomorrow a day just for the two of us.”
Caitlin hummed happily, nestling closer. Cynthia began running her fingers through Caitlin’s soft, silky hair, and within seconds, Caitlin was fast asleep. Cynthia could feel the rhythmic rise and fall of Caitlin’s chest, felt her breath with every exhale. This closeness, this shared warmth; this, too, was something precious to her.
As Cynthia’s conscious mind began to fade, her eyelids growing heavy, a soft sound echoed in her mind. “Kyauun,” the voice sang, soft and soothing as a lullaby, and a third, final answer presented itself.
“I feel, therefore I am.”