Work Text:
"Monster Energy! Get your Monster Energy!"
Arc stood outside of Say's pretzel booth, taking his first attempt at sign spinning. The sign had originally belonged to a pizza place down the street from the circus, but he'd gotten in a fight the employee holding it, taking it as a prize when he won and deciding it'd be the perfect tool to advertise his business. He'd stolen a sharpie from Macne's office, scribbled out the original ad, and written "YUMMY" in big letters in its place. It was beautiful. "Come get your Monster Energy !" he repeated, tossing the sign into the air. It landed on Say's head and bounced off onto the floor.
"Do you really have to do this in front of my booth?" Say asked, exhaustion in their voice. They reached up and adjusted their hat, which had been knocked out of position by Arc's gorgeous sign. "You have a space of your own, you know."
"I know!" Arc responded, his tone the opposite of Say's. "But I have to fight the competition." He attempted to toss the sign again, this time dropping it on his foot.
Say sighed dejectedly. There really wasn't any competition- they worked for the same circus, all of the money went to Macne- but they weren't going to fight with him. Arc was stubborn at best and an immoveable object at worst.
"Hey, hey!" Arc yelled as two potential customers walked past. He swooped down, grabbed his dropped sign and shoved it in their faces. "Are you tired from walking around? You should stop by Arc's Awesome Amazing booth and get yourselves some Monster Energy! It comes in a can and infused in a corn dog!"
"Eh- no thanks," one of the customers said, wary of the sign in their face. "We already picked up energy drinks at the arcade."
Arc's smile fell, anger practically radiating off of him. "You... what?"
"We- we got energy drinks already?" the customer repeated, stumbling back in fear. Them and their friend both lifted their cans to show him.
"Give me that." He snatched one of their cans, pushing the bandages off one of his eyes to get a good look at it. A hand written label stuck to the side read "The Tamari Special >:D". He then tilted it down and sniffed the liquid inside. It smelled like every sour, sugary candy known to man. "Say, try this."
"Heh-?" Say's eyes widened as the can was shoved into their hands. They stared at it for a moment before deciding fuck it, they didn't have anything better to do anyway, and took a hesitant sip.
The moment the liquid touched their tongue, they fell to the floor, passed out.
...
"What the fuck? What the fuck?" the customer who Arc had stolen the can from's voice shook with pure terror. They turned to their friend. "Is that gonna happen to us?" The friend didn't respond, staring blankly at Say's collapsed body, the gaze in their eyes empty.
"I'm sure they're alright!" Arc said, back to his cheerful self. He nudged Say's body with his foot. "See? They're still breathing. They're fiiiine. I'm just gonna... leave them there." He took a step away from the booth, eyes lingering on Say for a moment before turning and smiling scarily at the two customers. "So! where did you say this was from?"
"Uh- the arcade," One of them offered, visibly shaking.
"The arcade!" He repeated, then reached out to the customers and snatched their other can, glaring at it as if it personally offended him. "Let's go see who this Tamari guy thinks they are then, huh?"
-
"So this is the arcade, huh?"
Arc stared up at the building in front of him with distaste. In one hand he was gripping the wrist of one of the customers, both of which he'd dragged here with him since he didn't have Say to accompany him. In the other hand was a can of the Tamari Special.
"How have you never seen the arcade before?" one of the customers asked.
"Yeah, don't you work here?" the other added.
Arc huffed. "Did you not see the banner?" He pointed at said banner, which was strung up above the doors. It read, "Tamari's Arcade- Grand Opening!"
"I mean we did, but..." the first customer started, "...did you not see it being built?"
Arc stared at them through his bandages. An awkward moment passed where nobody said anything. Then, he spun on his heel and dropped the customer's wrist so he could throw the doors open.
"HEY!" he screamed, attracting the attention of nearby guests. He waved the can of the Tamari Special in the air. "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?"
"It's the Tamari Special!" A very tiny person, like seriously this guy could not be more than five feet tall, appeared from behind an arcade machine.
"FUCK!" Arc screamed, jumping back. "God, Norman and Charon, where did you come from?" The two customers both seemed surprised by the person's sudden appearance as well, though much less so than Arc, who was clutching his chest as if he'd had a heart attack. He took a moment to recover, then straightened his visor, ready to do business. "So you know about the 'Tamari Special' thing too then? Where can I find this Tamari guy?"
"You're talking to them," the person said, gesturing to themself. "Why? You like it?"
Arc ignored the question, silently staring at Tamari (or the faint outline of them he could see through his bandages). "You're Tamari? When did Macne start hiring kids?"
Tamari gawked at him. "I am an adult."
"There's no way," Arc said, shaking his head. "You're like 4'11."
Tamari mumbled something under their breath.
"What was that?"
"... I said i'm 4'10."
It was Arc's turn to gawk. "FOUR FOOT TEN?"
"It's a perfectly respectable height!"
"It's like a sixth grader's height."
"It's not!"
"It is too! You're sure you're not twelve?"
Tamari stomped their foot, annoyed. "Did you just come to terrorize me? Because I will kick you out."
"Actually, I came to ask you a question." Arc stepped forward and shoved the can of the Tamari Special into their face. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING SELLING THIS?"
Tamari crossed their arms, glaring up at Arc. "I'm making a profit, that's what i'm doing. You got a problem with that?"
"YES!" Arc shouted, more and more heads turning to stare at him. "Selling energy drinks is MY job! You're stealing my business!"
"All of the money goes to the circus anyway, what does it matter?" Tamari asked, much more put together than their 'competitor'.
"It matters because I have to sell the most!"
"Well then that sounds like a you problem."
Arc let out a full on guttural scream. All activity in the arcade had come to a halt- everyone was busy watching the spectacle going on at the entrance. "Who do you think you are, showing up at my circus-"
"It's not your circus, it's Macne Nana's."
"-Taking my business-"
"We work for the same person!"
"-you wanna know how I feel about your stupid drink?"
Tamari barely held back a laugh, looking around at the audience they'd gained. "I think we all know how you feel already."
Arc was fuming. He slammed the can of Tamari Special on the ground and then stomped on it for good measure, the crack of crushed aluminum resounding throughout the arcade.
The crowd collectively gasped.
Tamari watched as Arc stomped on the can a few more times, balling their hands into fists at their sides. "You did not just disrespect the Tamari Special like that," they said in a low voice.
"Oh? What was that?" Arc asked with mock innocence, grinding the can into the ground.
"I said YOU DID NOT DISRESPECT THE TAMARI SPECIAL LIKE THAT!" Tamari ran forward and kicked Arc in the knee as hard as he could. Arc yelped, caught off guard by the attack, but was given no time to recover as Tamari followed up with a second kick to his shin. Arc managed to dodge a third kick, however, lunging forward and biting down on Tamari's arm like a wild dog. They screamed, their arm sparking as Arc's teeth sank into it, and began shaking it wildly to throw him off.
"Fight! Fight! Fight!" The two customers took up a chant, quickly being joined by other spectators as they circled around the spectacle. Many people had taken their phones out to record, and a small group of friends was singing "We Will Rock You", barely heard over all the noise.
"Woah, woah, woah, what is going on here?" Macne Nana had arrived at the back of the crowd, trying to peek over people's heads to find the source of the chaos. The bags under their eyes were already growing darker at the thought of dealing with this mess.
"Hi Nana." Yohioloid was leaning against the outer wall of the arcade, accompanied as always by Maika, who was screaming "Gettem Arc! Don't let go!" at the top of her lungs. He gave Macne a shy wave.
"Yohio," they responded, nodding in greeting. "What is going on here?"
"As far as I can tell, it's something to do with-"
He was cut off by a very enthusiastic Maika. "Arc found out about the Tamari Special and now him and Tamari are battling it out! God, this is the coolest thing that's happened here in like the past week, maybe even cooler than the orbeez incident."
Macne shuddered. They did not want to think about the orbeez incident.
"And this was over the... Tamari Special?" Macne directed the question at Yohio. "What is that, exactly?"
"An energy drink."
Macne stared at him. "An energy drink."
"Yes."
"This mess..." they gestured towards the huge crowd, "...is over an energy drink?"
"Yep." Yohio responded, popping the p. "To be fair, this is Arc Carnes."
Macne sighed, closing their eyes for a moment. It was the closest thing to sleep they'd had in days. "Why did I ever employ him." They took a deep breath, opened their eyes, and began pushing their way through the crowd.
The sight in front of them when they reached the fight was not a pretty one. Arc, who was wearing his visor backwards, was bashing Tamari over the head with a crushed soda can, their horns leaving puncture marks in the aluminum. Tamari was kicking their legs frantically in Arc's direction, one of their shoes missing and all four of the eyes on their legs open, glaring daggers at Arc.
"Hey, break it up, break it up! This is a civil business, not a circus." The room fell silent, every head turning to stare awkwardly at Macne. It took them another moment to realize their mistake. "Y'all know what I meant."
Under Macne's deadly glare, Arc and Tamari slowly untangled themselves. The can was still stuck on one of Tamari's horns.
"Do either of you want to tell me what happened here?"
"They started it!" Arc responded immediately, pointing at Tamari.
"No, he did!" Tamari did the same, meeting Arc's eyes with all of theirs.
"Did not! You kicked me!"
"You burst into my arcade, accused me, and then disrespected the Tamari Special!"
"Macne told me I have to learn to use my words!"
Macne sighed. "Shush, both of you. Arc, apologize to Tamari for insulting their drink."
"But-!"
"No buts! Please just do it."
Arc huffed, but surrendered. "I'm sorry you were such a pussy about me insulting your drink." That was about the best anyone would get out of him.
"Now you Tamari. Apologize for starting a fight."
"But-!"
"What the fuck did I just say?"
"Fine. I'm sorry your pathetic knees couldn't endure my kick."
"My pathetic- !" Arc let out a frustrated scream. "They're not pathetic! You will rue the day you called my knees pathetic!"
"And you will rue the day you insulted the great Tamari Special!"
Macne stared at them for a long minute. "My god. I've employed a second Arc Carnes."
-
Way back at the concessions, Say was just waking up. Groggily, they rubbed their eyes. Where were they again? What were they doing? Their entire body felt like shit, as if someone had force fed them radioactive waste.
An image of Arc shoving a suspicious looking energy drink into their hands flashed back into their mind. So they were basically right.
Oh well. Better get back to work. It wasn't even close to the first time Arc had almost killed them, and those pretzels weren't going to make themselves.