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“Perhaps…perhaps in another world…”
“I’m sorry, but this is the only way.”
“We could have been together.”
“Forgive me.”
“But this is a cruel joke played by fate on the unaware.”
“Goodbye.”
“So let this be goodbye. Perhaps forever.”
And here two figures stand, gazing off into the darkness. Back to back, the distance between them is mere feet, but it seems like entire continents.
Let us begin.
You, the immortal Phoenix, born fifty thousand years ago, witnessing the rise and fall of civilizations. You, who lost many but gained some, and in the end hold tight to those around you. You, who met her, on that fateful day.
You watch as the lingering fragments tumble into the darkness. Your memories of her are fast fading, until you can only remember a whisper, a hazy image.
Ghost of a bright grin, phantom eyes, bright afterglow of crimson eyes. Your resolve wavers; for an instant you want to remember, to gather up the fragments, to remember her again.
You want to love her again, do you not?
Somewhere in your head a voice whispers. You could have stayed your hand, but now look what you’ve done. Make no mistake, Fu Hua, you have chosen this path. You have chosen the world, and not yourself.
And so, this path you must now walk. C’est la vie. Live with the consequences of your own actions.
You look out at the single, narrow path striking off into the void. In this nowhere, there is nothing but you, your memories and your path. Don’t worry about the lost memories – after all, she was but a fleeting whisper, here today and gone tomorrow.
You never loved her, hmm? You wanted to embrace her but you could only push her away. You wanted to drop to your knees and take her into your arms, whispering words of comfort. But you could only back away and curse.
Is that not what you did?
Therefore, walk. Walk this path. Leave the past behind. Burn every last thing reminding you of her; she is a liability. She’s the only thing anchoring you down. Cast her off, and you will be free.
You close your eyes, curl your fingers into fists. Yes, yes. Very good. That’s it – that’s it! Take the first step forward but don’t be disheartened. The first step is always the hardest.
No – don’t turn your head! Don’t turn around; you have chosen this, have you not? If you turn around, only more pain and suffering and hurt will come – both to you and her.
You don’t want that, do you?
You sigh. Deep breath in, and out. Your feet feel like blocks of lead, and it is a momentous effort to lift your feet.
Somehow, somewhere, you can feel a presence behind you. Strangely familiar, and yet when you glance around, there is nothing. No breathing, no warmth, not even a hint of a voice.
You shrug and close your eyes.
You take a step forward. Your first step free of burden. Your first step free of her.
Now for you. You, the Herrscher of Sentience. You, who was conceived in the body of her. Soulless, empty, the perfect host. With a start, you awoke. New life flooded into you, and with it her memories.
Memories of innocent childhood. Memories of loss, despair and resolve. Cold memories where you became hard and uncaring. Where you lost your humanity. Warmer memories, your heart thawing out as you met all those that you called your friends.
You thought it’d be all good and happy when you met her. You thought that you could finally have someone to call friend. Mentor. Companion. Partner.
Perhaps even…lover.
And look at what happened. She stole your power, and you pushed her away. You screamed in her face, turned your back on her, stalked away.
You watch as the shattered chain crumbles away into dust. Blood-red mist rises and fades to nothingness as you kneel and feel the link between you and her slowly weaken. Soon, there will be nothing left, and you will be to her as a stranger.
Isn’t that what you wanted? You willingly chose this, to shatter the chain linking your hearts. You chose to walk away, lamentations spilling from your lips. You chose to reject her, as she rejected you. You saw one last illusion of her, scarred and bloody, crying out for you.
You whispered apologies and kissed her forehead. And you walked away.
Cry, scream, wail, nothing will change the fact that it was by your hand that the chain is broken. Now nothing can be done about it, so you should weigh your options.
You are a Herrscher, the sacred Harbinger of Sentience. Blessed with powers over the mind and soul, to rewrite reality into what you want. Now that you are free of her, why don’t you see if you can set about rewriting your own destiny?
Forget the Will of the Honkai, of course. The only time it spoke to you was to goad you onto the path. Other than that, nothing but silence. No guidance, no driving force, no will.
Thus you are free of everything – free of her, free of your old master. You are alone, and you should enjoy this freedom! Feels good, doesn’t it?
You stare off into the void. Before you a narrow path strikes off into nothingness. It is dimly-lit, and for an instant you wonder if you can see grasping claws by the wayside. A path of death, or a path of life?
It is what you want it to be.
And—no! Not you too—don’t turn your head! To do so would be to undo everything that has come to this moment. There – that’s better. Yes, now step onto the path. Take your first step into the new age.
Strangely, you feel a presence behind you. Oddly warm, yet a grasping cold. Familiar, yet strange. When you glance around there is nothing. An illusion, perhaps?
Nonetheless, that figure must have been part of your life before. To continue on this new path of freedom, it must burn away too. And to do that, you know what must be done.
Good, very good! Your feet rise and fall, and you step onto the path. Your first step free of burden, your first step free of her.
Hua walks the narrow path alone. It is cold, and she shivers.
The remnants of that voice goad her on, whispering encouragement, near-mocking encouragement.
Forget her.
She betrayed you.
You forgot her.
You chose to forget her.
So walk this path that you’ve made for yourself.
Hua chuckles as her fists tighten at her sides. A mirthless sound in a mirthless place. She is balling her fingers so tight that her fingernails dig in and cut the skin, drawing blood.
In spite of herself, old memories, unwanted memories, discarded memories resurface hazily in the back of her mind. Before she can scrub them away, they are glowing brightly, brighter than the sun, brighter than the fading image of her smile.
Memories of waking up. The first thing she sees is the other’s bright grin.
Memories of them walking together in the clouds.
Memories of them ascending the mountain, she watching the other shout victory cries as she struck down a legion of her enemies.
Memories of exploring memories, seeking the answers they desired.
Memories of them standing atop the highest peak, the revelation fresh in their heads.
Memories of betrayal, walking away to stand by the white-haired warrior’s side, against her.
Memories of them fighting, the other screaming desperately as she played her last trump card in vain.
Memories of second betrayal, of the Core in her hand, trailing sparks of power.
Memories of walking away.
Through it all, there is that other person with her. She does not know why, but they seem so familiar. So similar. And yet when she tries to focus, all they see is a smile, their eyes shrouded in shadow.
But who is this person? And why do they keep appearing in her mind? Were they significant to her? Did they play some part in her life before? As a friend, a partner, a mentee, perhaps even a lifelong companion?
Hua grits her teeth and halts her pace. The sound of her footsteps fade away, echoes trailing off as she closes her eyes.
“Whoever you are…whatever you are…I don’t know why, but I must remember you.”
She half-turns, her feet suddenly feeling like they are trapped in wet cement. The path itself is working against her, trying to stop her from turning back.
There is mystery and danger in those hazy memories of the other person, and yet Hua’s resolve has never been stronger. She will—no, she has to find out what that presence was. Even if it kills her, she will uncover the truth.
She grunts as something lurches from the bleak emptiness to grip her shoulder with cold claws, but she tears free and fully turns around.
She has walked a long way, even longer than she was aware of. She doesn’t dare look around her for fear of seeing what lurks in the shadows. The temperature has dropped, and she can see her breath misting in the chill.
In the distance, a little pinprick of light glints. One light alone in the darkness.
“I…I remember you now…”
Senti walks the narrow path. There is nothing except the path, a thin finger of stone reaching out over the boundless chasm.
The remnants of the voice that whispered to her still linger, murmuring promises of freedom and joy.
Forget about her.
Forget about the Will of the Honkai.
You are your own person.
You chose to make it so.
You cut yourself off, to experience what? Freedom.
So walk this path that you’ve made for yourself.
She still has her memories, distant as they are. Her grip on her sword tightens until her knuckles whiten. She remembers everything, from her awakening to this moment. Every second, every word, every movement – she counts it all.
Part of her wants to tamp down those memories of the old timer, to shove them away where she will never have to see them again. She wants to move on, but something keeps her from lighting the flame to burn away her old life.
What is that something?
Memories of her reawakening. Of her kneeling on the man’s chest and raining down her fists until he said no more.
Memories of destruction and devastation. Walking through the fire as the mighty airbase burned around her.
Memories of fighting for the feather. Claiming the feather from Kevin and walking away into the desert.
Memories of reunion…or was it first meeting? Standing before her, her other half, eyes slowly fluttering open.
Memories of walking through the clouds. Taking a trip down memory lane until they came to Mount Taixuan, where she laid waste to the legions of Honkai beasts.
Memories of the close contact. Stray hands lingering on shoulders, on arms, on thighs. Unwanted looks, coy glances, turned heads and the faintest of blushes.
Memories of revelation—of betrayal—of fighting—of loss—of walking away—of reunion—of second betrayal—of joy of sadness of grief of…
Senti halts in place and kneels on the path.
Why? Why did she choose this road? Without her?
There were so many unanswered questions.
So many unspoken promises.
So much…potential. In another world they could have worked things out, but this is not that world. There is so much that has passed, so much that is passing, so much that has yet to pass.
Part of her wants to choose the greater good and rid this world of herself.
But another part of her wants to choose herself, to run back to the old timer and plead forgiveness, to forgive her, to hold her and say that everything is alright.
This world preaches that one must always make the selfless choices to benefit everyone else. That one’s sacrifice will make a better world for everyone else.
Senti squeezes her eyes shut, feels the tears well up.
“Just this once…let me make the selfish choice.”
And so she rises to her feet and turns around. In the distance, a tiny pinprick of light glints in the emptiness. One light alone in the darkness.
She takes the first step back.
“Old—Hua, I’m coming home. Will you come to meet me?”
“Anything for you.”
Hua smiles and takes the first step back.