Chapter Text
Dazai wakes up at 3:18am, picks the lock on his door and goes down to the kitchen, his parents had locked him in his room without food again. He prayed that they weren’t awake. They weren’t, he gets a slice of bread, puts some peanut butter on it and runs quietly back to room.
The next morning he heads downstairs to go to school, trying to avoid his mother and Mori. “Brat.” Fuck, it was his mother. “Did you eat without my permission. There was some bread missing.” Her voice was strained, as if she was trying not to yell. He knew that would change soon. Weighing his options, he chooses to tell the truth. “Yes ma’am. Sorry.” Her face lit up with anger. She punched him, in the jaw, it would definitely bruise. Dazai saw stars. Mori was there too, he was worse, more cruel, Dazai hated doctors because of him. “GET UP!” He obeys, as Mori had trained him to do. She pulled his ear to yell in it. He didn’t react, he barely even registered the pain, like he was trained to do. He was not human, he was a monster, an animal, a doll, anything but human.
Dazai walked to school, limping slightly, hungry and sore. Where she had hit had started to bruise. “Osamu?” He heard his boyfriend say. Kunikida didn’t deserve him and his problems, he had done nothing wrong but he was still stuck with him, he was too human, too kind, too hardworking, too- “Osamu?” Kunikida sounded slightly scared, great, another thing he messed up. “‘m sorry Doppo.” Dazai says, “Just tired.” Kunikida looked at him with sympathy. “We should head to class.” Kunikida was too responsible sometimes. “No,” Dazai managed to get out. “I-I can’t.” The blonde boy looked at him with confusion. “Why? Because you’re tired? You need to get more sleep, we can’t skip class just because-” “no.” Dazai cut off Kunikida’s rant. He felt tears pricking the corners of his eyes. “You don’t understand, I can’t.” Dazai pleaded, his voice shaky. Kunikida’s concern growing, Dazai didn’t cry, the only time he’d seen Dazai cry was the first time Kunikida had stopped a suicide attempt. “ok, perhaps tell the ladies at the office that you want to go home?” That only panicked him more.
Then it hit him, abuse. That had to be the answer. Why else would he react this way when asked to go home. When Kunikida looked closer, he saw a bruise starting to appear on his partner’s cheek. “Let’s go find a place for you to calm down, then if you’re feeling up to it, we’ll go to next period. Ok?” Dazai nods quickly and draws in a shaky breath. “Thank- thank you Doppo.” Dazai voice broke as he tried to stop a sob.
The two boys found a spot that was hidden away from outside eyes but grassy and soft. “I’m sorry Doppo, you don’t deserve to be stuck with me, you’re too good, too kind, too human. I’m not , I make you scared, I make you have to skip classes to deal with me, when I’m not even human, I’m a monster. I-” Dazai looked like he was going to say more but was cut off by a sob. Is that how he felt? Kunikida pulled him close, his heart breaking when he flinched away. By the end of that period, Dazai had calmed down, and insisted that he could go to the next period.
Once they got there, their teacher wasn’t there, Dazai heard Kunikida mutter something about schedules. “Sarah, my Ma took my phone away again, she’s the worst.” Hana complained, her voice was just slightly too high in Dazai’s opinion. “Omg really, she sucks, how the fuck are we supposed to plan things now.” Sarah responded. “Your parents take things off you? Mine don’t.” Asahi said. “They still suck though, they ground me a lot.” Dazai would give anything for parents like theirs. Kunikida seemed to notice his agitation. “Are you ok?” He whispered. “Mhm.” Dazai responded weakly. “If you need to leave I could call my aunt, she’d understand.” Dazai looked terrified of the idea of telling someone else. “HEY DAZAI!” Asahi called out. “DO YOUR PARENTS GROUND YOU, OR TAKE THINGS AWAY FROM YOU MORE?” That was all it took for everything to come crumbling down. His bottom lip trembled, taking in shaky breaths, he started to claw at the bandages, blood seeping through them. Asahi looked panicked, “Yo, Dazai? All I asked was a question?” The boy in question sinks to the floor. Asahi takes a step forward, surprised when Dazai flinched.
Kunikida kneels down next to him, trying to ground him by squeezing his hand and muttering things to him. “‘m sorry, I’m sorry.” Dazai was calming down. “Do you want me to call my aunt? I’m not letting you go back there.” Kunikida says, pulling the crying boy into a hug. Dazai just nods, not able to form words. “C’mon, let’s go to the front office.” Kunikida says, tugging him up and embracing him. He starts walking, Dazai trailing behind him.
Kunikida’s aunt was nice, she was quiet. “You can stay in Doppo’s room, we have a futon.” She said. “Thank you.” He says quietly. “It’s nice to see Doppo finally bringing friends over.” She says with a smile.
That night, when Dazai was asleep, Kunikida wasn’t, he was worried about his partner, but more than anything, he was just swooning. “I love you ‘Samu.” Kunikida said into the darkness before going to sleep, and if Dazai heard that confession, he wasn’t going to tell him.