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“Something on your mind, shishou?”
Shigeo peers over his laptop, seeing his eager student arrive at the office and throw his school bag over his desk chair. He glances at the time, and winces internally. He had been lost in thought for well over twenty minutes, instead of finishing the email reply he was working on. His tumultuous thought process must have been obvious if Reigen picked up on it immediately.
“Ah, it’s… it’s nothing, Arataka-kun. How was school?”
It’s easy to distract Reigen into conversing about any number of topics he can rant about. Shigeo has gotten quite good at picking up what subjects will have Reigen spinning stories for a while. However, the kid seems unwilling to let this one go just yet.
“It was fine. Are you sure it’s nothing, though? You looked upset.”
Shigeo sighs, closing his laptop, knowing that email isn’t getting done any time soon. He drums his fingers against his desk, his brow furrowing, as silence stretches between them. Sweat forms on Reigen’s forehead, and he asks, “Shishou? Are you going to tell me or not?”
He snaps out of his thoughts again, “I’m sorry, Arataka-kun. I’ve just been thinking about something you said… though, it’s not really your concern, since you’re just a child.”
Reigen bristles at this, as he usually does whenever Shigeo brings up his age. He’s never understood why Reigen is so opposed to being a kid. He can’t seem to grasp the delicate and wonderful chances he has to not worry about the real world too much, but to worry about exams, clubs, peers, and having fun. He tries to insist that Reigen shouldn’t be wasting his time with a part time job, and should enroll in a club or spend time with friends, but Reigen always brushes his worries aside. He claims he’s perfectly happy where he is, that he’s learning what he wants to know, and that he sees his friends plenty when he’s at school. (Or, when he sometimes drags them with him, as is the case whenever Yoshioka and Dimple come along to Spirits and Such.)
Reigen scoffs, waving his hands about, “Clearly I have some knowledge on it, since it’s about whatever I said. So, spill, shishou!”
Shigeo contemplates this for another moment, before caving and admitting, “Fine. When you were trying to talk down Ishiguro, Sakurai, and the other kids…” Surprise flits across Reigen’s face, but he doesn’t say anything, so he continues, “You had told them something along the lines of, if they continued down the path they were on, they could never turn out to be normal adults or functioning members of society. It got me wondering if I am on the right path. That’s all.”
Reigen hums thoughtfully, “That’s what you’re worried about? Well… I may not be an adult yet, but I still know a thing or two about what it means to be successful in adulthood!”
“Do you?”
From anyone else, the question would probably come off as condescending or sarcastic, but it’s completely genuine from Shigeo. Getting advice on how to be an adult from a middle schooler is likely the first hint that he may not be doing well, but Reigen has always been mature for his age and clearly has many ambitions for his future. Meanwhile, Shigeo has had practically nothing. His teenage years went by in a blur of monotony as he repressed his powers, and focused on making it through to the next day without exploding. He never filled out a single career survey, not even with a lie. He couldn’t ever think of anything he wanted to be or wanted to do with his life. Maybe he might have wished to be a better brother, but that wasn’t something you could make into a career. Nor was it something he ever truly succeeded at.
In the end, Shigeo just wants to be a normal person. If Reigen knows some secret to that, he won’t worry too much about the source.
“Of course! Honestly, shishou, you should give yourself more credit, you aren’t doing too bad right now.” The kid beams, throwing up a thumbs up.
Shigeo blinks, taken aback, “I’m not?”
He waves his hand dismissively, “Pssh, not at all. Let’s see… You have a job, that’s an important one. Not just any job, you own your own business! You use a unique talent of your own, and apply it to your career, not everyone can do that.” Reigen grins, barreling on before Shigeo can interrupt him, “You have some friends, that’s good, too. Like Onigawara, and that farmer guy you sometimes go on runs with. Oh! What’s the name of that one lady? You talk about her sometimes, the one who used to drag you around looking for telepaths.”
“Tome-san.”
“Tome, right! See, that’s a good handful.”
Shigeo shifts uncomfortably, retorting, “True, but I’m not very close with any of them.”
“Doesn’t matter, that’s fine. There’s still potential to get close to them, or make new friends. It’s not nothing, that’s for sure.”
Shigeo hums, resting his chin in his hand, “You forgot someone. In your list.”
Reigen pauses, his energy dipping as he delves into his memory, “I did? Well, I guess I don’t know everyone you know, but–”
There’s a slight rise of the corner of his lip, as he fondly interrupts, “You, Arataka-kun. You’re also my friend.”
Reigen looks gobsmacked for a moment, his usually clever tongue in a twist, before he whirls around to hide the slight reddening of his cheeks, “R-Right, of course, how silly of me to forget my own self! Haha!”
Shigeo doesn’t tease him, like he knows Dimple would have had he been here, and instead adds, “Hanazawa-kun, as well. He’s been calling more, recently.”
The kid finally faces his master again, rubbing his chin, “Oh, yeah. I forgot you two are talking now. Well, see, you’ve got some close friends, too.”
Shigeo isn’t sure how a fourteen year old kid and a former television star count as normal close friends for a normal adult, but he lets it slide.
“Anyway, while you’ve got a lot going for you, in terms of being a functional member of society, there’s still plenty of room for improvement.” Reigen easily sways the conversation back to its original topic, and explains, “While owning your business is great and all, making sure said business stays afloat is a must. It could use more customers.”
Shigeo nods slowly, “Okay… How do we do that?”
Reigen’s eyes sparkle excitedly, and he whips out his phone, as if he’s been waiting for Shigeo to ask this very question, “First, we should film some of our jobs to upload on MobTube. I’ve been learning some video editing techniques, so I think I could make something people will like. Of course, it’ll be your charisma on camera that will keep the audience invested.”
He isn’t sure he has any charisma, but Reigen might have the right charm. His customers always love interacting with the kid, he wouldn’t be surprised if a web-based audience would like it as well.
“Also, we desperately need to bring this place to the 21st century.” Reigen says, as if he didn’t need Shigeo’s help navigating his school’s website just a week prior, “Spirits and Such needs a website!”
“I don’t know anything about making one.” Ritsu might, but is it really a good idea to call him and ask about something like this? His brother doesn’t seem that thrilled about his business ventures, even if he says he’s proud of him for starting something new.
“Don’t worry, we can figure it out I’m sure. This is just brainstorming.”
“Right.”
“Eventually, once we start drawing in more customers and regulars, the business will start making a real profit, and you could even expand. Maybe more employees or a bigger office or more branches. It’s up to you.”
Shigeo wishes he had the ability to see such a future. To picture what it would be like if everything went right, if he had perfect control of his powers. He wishes he could look through Reigen’s mind’s eye and see it all. All he sees now is the kid’s notes, his hopeful expression, and his little office.
“Hm, I never thought of any of that. Thank you, Arataka-kun.”
The kid brightens, smiling wide, “No problem, shishou. Oh, and there’s other things to being an adult besides your job, too, y’know?”
Shigeo blinks, and Reigen repeats, “Y’know? Right?”
For a long time, he didn’t know. School to work was a simultaneously seamless and painful transition for him. It had a lot of the same rules as school, but a lot more responsibility, and far less of a safety net. There were more expectations, deadlines, and duties to fulfill. It was as routine as school, and Shigeo found himself lost in the background quite often. He didn’t have anything besides work and school. He had his space at home, and eventually his own apartment, but he never did anything besides the bare essentials. His life was stuck in greyscale, until he met Reigen and began this business. Now, he gets to see and meet so many interesting people, hear fascinating stories, and go to strange places. It’s much more fun and rewarding than any of his old office jobs used to be. Still, despite the changes, he still doesn’t do all that much outside of work or the time he spends with Reigen.
“Like hobbies?”
Reigen nods sagely, as if he wasn’t sweating bullets from Shigeo’s long pause and sudden answer, “Sure, yeah, of course. Hobbies are important, but that’s like up to you. Maybe ask that guy about doing more than running, so you can get your stamina up. Your health is super important! Or, like start drawing or plant a garden, I don’t know, something like that.”
Shigeo taps his chin in thought, “Maybe… Is there anything else?”
“Well, you’re not married. Don’t even have a girlfriend.”
Flushing, Shigeo questions softly, “Is getting a girlfriend really necessary to being a normal adult?”
Reigen shrugs, looking as uncomfortable as he feels, “I… Probably? I mean, plenty of adults are married, so yeah, probably. It’d probably be a good first step, besides all the stuff to help Spirits and Such. Probably.”
Shigeo frowns, “Probably…”
He shrugs again, scuffing his shoe against the tiled floor, “Probably.”
-
Shigeo isn’t sure what Hanazawa is doing on the other end of the phone, but he does hear a very loud clang after his question. He hears a bit of fumbling and some quiet cursing, but graciously waits until Hanazawa composes himself enough to reply, “I’m terribly sorry about that, Kageyama-kun. Would you mind repeating your question? I just want to make sure I heard you correctly.”
“Of course. I was wondering if… if you knew anyone who is, um, interested in dating. Dating someone like me, I guess.”
Hanazawa takes a long, deep breath (at least, he thinks that’s what the crackling over the phone means), and asks his own question in turn, “What’s with the sudden interest in joining the dating game, Kageyama-kun?”
“Ah, well, I don’t want to join a dating game, but I do want to try dating.”
“Right…” Hanazawa pauses, like he is expecting more, and continues when he gets nothing from Shigeo, “Is there a reason dating is suddenly on your mind? Or, why you are asking me?”
“No reason. It just seems like something someone would normally want to do. I haven’t dated anyone. Ever.” He isn’t sure if that sounds normal, but Hanazawa has never judged him for his oddities. He clears his throat, answering his second question, “Usually, it’s best to find others through a mutual connection. At least, that’s what the article said.”
“I see. I suppose you’re right. It must be safe to say that just about everyone wouldn’t mind dating someone they admire. That it’s normal to want that… Did you have anyone in mind?”
Shigeo thinks for a moment, but no one has sparked his interest since his crush on Takane Tsubomi when he was in middle school. He hasn’t seen her in years, though.
“No, I don’t think so.”
“Hrgh, right, of course! Ha, you wouldn’t be asking if you did, right?” Hanazawa coughs awkwardly, probably because of whatever caused that odd noise and the wobbly pitch in his voice.
Shigeo frowns, “Right. Look, Hanazawa-kun, if you don’t know anyone, that’s alright. I’ll probably call and ask Tome-san or Onigawara-kun if they know anyone. Thank you, though.”
He’s about to hang up, but is stopped by a shrill, “Wait, Kageyama-kun!”
He hesitates, and Hanazawa asks, “Have you ever been to a singles mixer?”
“No…”
He can practically hear Hanazawa’s grin through the phone, as his friend boasts, “Well, I happen to know this place that throws a great one every week! I used to go there a lot when I was dating, lots of interesting and fun people. It’ll be the perfect place to start mingling.”
Shigeo isn’t sure he would consider himself fun or interesting, but if Hanazawa thinks highly of it… “I guess I can try there.”
“Perfect! I’ll text you the address. The next one should be next Friday night. And, hey, will it make you feel better if I come along with you?”
Shigeo feels his shoulders slump a bit in relief, and he nods despite the fact Hanazawa can’t see him, “Yes, that would, actually. You wouldn’t mind?”
“Not at all! That way, if things don’t go well, we can grab a drink or something to feel better afterwards.”
He still feels anxious at the thought of attending, but his nerves are calmed by Hanazawa’s reassurances. He agrees slightly more easily than he expected to meet with his friend Friday night.
-
Shockingly, the mixer goes well.
Shigeo was so sure it was going to be a disaster. At best, no one would approach him and he’d be left alone in a corner, and at worst, he’d be called a freak after his powers go out of whack from his nerves. None of that happens, though.
Instead, not long after Hanazawa gets swept up talking to three excited young women who used to be fans of his show, someone approaches Shigeo as he’s getting a drink. She’s wearing a simple button-up blouse and pencil skirt, with her light brown hair half tied up in a bun. She smiles kindly at him, asking, “No alcohol tonight?”
Shigeo barely manages not to startle at someone actually approaching him, and nods, “I don’t drink.”
Truth is, he’s never touched alcohol in his life. He knows the consequences of it, and had been too scared that he would lose the careful control he has over his powers while under the influence. He never wanted to risk the chance of something like that happening. So, he had surprised the bartender with the request of a glass of water and tipped them despite the technically free drink.
The young woman holds up her own glass, which contains something that bubbles, and says, “Me neither, this is just a soda.” She clinks her glass against his in a toast of comradery, he supposes, before she asks, “What’s your name?”
“Kageyama Shigeo. Um, yours?”
“Matsui Emi,” She holds out her hand to him, “It’s nice to meet you.”
He takes her hand gently, shaking it politely, “Nice to meet you, too, Matsui-san.”
Her face scrunches up, like he had said something funny, and she shakes her head, “Please, you can call me Emi.”
He feels his cheeks warm a bit at the familiarity, but nods and abides her request, “Alright, Emi-san. You can call me Shigeo, then.”
She smiles again, her hand on her hip, “Deal, Shigeo-kun.”
Besides that, their conversation remains fairly formal and polite. Nothing overtly interesting, but still pleasant in its own way. Shigeo finds Emi somewhat easy to talk to, perhaps because she’s actually engaging with him and even laughs at what he says sometimes. He rarely finds anyone who doesn’t have a permanent expression of boredom or annoyance when talking to him in an informal setting like this.
In the end, he only speaks with her, but it’s alright. They even agree on a time and place for a proper first date.
(He catches up with Hanazawa, after Emi leaves, only to find his friend drunk to the point of nearly passing out. He apologizes about a hundred times to the bartender, who was just grateful someone sober could remove the guy who’d been crying into his bar top the last hour. The two of them didn’t have that feel-better-drink, but Hanazawa had been excited when he told him the next morning that he had a date. Unbeknownst to Shigeo, however, Hanazawa had quickly given up on the mixer when it was clear that no one was going to interest him as much as Kageyama Shigeo has. The news devastated him, but he kept a brave face, because at the end of the day, he was a good friend to Kageyama, and that’s what matters most.)
-
“So, what do you do for a living?”
Shigeo should be surprised this question never came up during their initial meeting, since someone’s job seems to be one of the few topics adults talk about all the time. However, at the time he had just been relieved. He didn’t really know how to explain his business to someone as normal as Emi, nor did he want to reveal his powers to her. His psychic abilities do not define who he is, and he’d rather keep them locked up tight and out of this while it’s still going well.
He swallows the piece of chicken he’d been chewing a bit harshly, and sort of answers, “I own my own business. A consultation office.”
Emi’s eyes widen, “Wow, really? You didn’t strike me as a businessman.”
He smiles awkwardly, or tries to at least, “Ah, yeah, I’m not really. I was persuaded by a friend to start it.” Before she can ask any more details about his career, he quickly asks, “What about you? What do you do?”
“Oh, I’m a journalist. I write articles for the Seasoning City Tribune.” She smiles sheepishly, correcting, “Well, I edit mostly. Though, I get to write my own articles sometimes.”
Shigeo gushes, or as much as someone like him can gush, “That’s amazing. Writing can be really difficult.”
Emi hums in agreement, “It can be, but… I don’t know, it’s silly, but I enjoy it.”
He shakes his head, “I don’t think it’s silly. I think it’s admirable.”
Something softens in Emi’s expression and demeanor, though he can’t really tell what, and she says, “Thank you, Shigeo-kun.” She pauses, clearly thinking over something important, so he waits for her to decide what to say. She takes a deep breath, looking around the restaurant as if any of the other patrons are paying attention to their little table, and admits, “I… I actually write a lot in my spare time, too. When I was little, I wanted to be a novelist. However, it’s hard to publish with no platform or connections, and I was never really proud enough of anything I wrote to try and publish it. But, I still write my novels from time to time. Especially if I need a break from writing about the real world all the time. Journalism isn’t bad, but it’s not quite what I had wanted. It pays the bills, though.”
Shigeo watches as she talks about writing, and sees her eyes shine brightly. It’s the same way Reigen gets whenever talking about the supernatural or psychics. True, pure passion. He thinks he could watch someone as excited and as passionate as the two of them talk about things they love for hours, and never get bored of seeing that spark.
So, he asks Emi about her different stories, and the hours fly quickly.
He even gets a promise that she’ll bring him one of her manuscripts on their next date.
-
Emi is flustered and embarrassed, asking again and again if Shigeo is okay with just sitting on a picnic blanket by the river for a second date, so he can read her work. He truly doesn’t mind, and he tells her so. Though most of the date is spent quietly, with the two of them reading over Emi’s neat handwriting, only interrupted by Shigeo occasionally asking what a word means or something about the plot, it’s nice. It’s peaceful.
He enjoys it, but there’s something that’s beginning to nag him in the back of his mind. He ignores it for now, asking Emi if she would like him to walk her home. She smiles, in a much brighter mood than she had been earlier, and says yes.
-
About a month goes by, and a handful of dates with Emi pass him, when he talks to Hanazawa again. It’s honestly the longest the two of them haven’t talked in some time, but he just assumed his friend had been busy with other things. It’s not long before their conversation that it had finally hit him, what’s been nagging him all this time.
Hanazawa listens to his confession, and nods, “So, you think you don’t have feelings for her? That’s fine, Kageyama-kun. Sometimes you meet people at events like that, and turn out just friends, it happens all the time.”
Shigeo frowns, “I don’t know how she feels, though.”
His friend smiles easily, shrugging, “You just have to be honest with her. Maybe she feels something romantic, maybe she doesn’t. As long as you aren’t cruel, she can’t really fault you for not feeling anything.” The other esper runs a hand through his hair, questioning, “What brought you to this realization, though, if I may ask? Perhaps someone new has caught your eye?”
Shigeo shakes his head, “No, nothing like that.” Hanazawa deflates, “I enjoy talking to her, but… I don’t know, we haven’t really done anything that couples do. I’m not sure if I want to.”
Hanazawa’s brow quirks up, and he inquires, “So, you haven’t kissed her yet?”
Shigeo blushes, and he looks away, “Um, she… she tried to, but I… I walked away.”
“You walked away?”
“Yes.”
Hanazawa huffs in amusement, patting Shigeo’s shoulder, “That’s… not exactly chivalrous, but if you didn’t want to, I suppose it was the right thing to do. I think you should talk to her, Kageyama-kun. Maybe we can try another mixer again.”
Shigeo shakes his head, “I think I’m done with dating.”
Hanazawa looks positively gutted for a fraction of a moment, fast enough to blink and miss it (so Shigeo misses it), before he asks with a bit of a strained voice, “F-For good, or…?”
He stares up at the sky, wondering, before inevitably shaking his head again, “No, not for good. Just for now.”
-
Shigeo isn’t supposed to see Emi again for another two days, since that’s when their next date is scheduled, but he bumps into her while out jogging. Well, bumped into isn’t the right way to phrase it, because she was definitely waiting for him.
“Emi-san? What are you doing here?”
It’s a public street, even if there aren’t many people out and about at this early hour, but there’s certainly no rule to say she can’t be here, exactly. He’s just surprised, is all. She smiles, as kind as always, but there’s something else to her expression.
“Hi, Shigeo-kun. I wanted to talk to you.”
He gestures for her to go on, ensuring her that she has his full attention, and she clears her throat, “I… I’ve been dishonest with you, and I wish to come clean about it. The truth is, my friends forced me to go to that mixer. They had caught me one too many times spending my evenings writing at home, and decided I needed to go out and meet people. I picked you out of the crowd, because I thought you’d be someone who I could date for a little while and break things off with pretty easily, and move on so my friends don’t bother me anymore. I was… surprised how much I ended up enjoying our time together. However, I still don’t feel anything romantic towards you, and I don’t think it’s fair that I keep lying to you and stringing you along.” She bows low, her hands wrung together in front of her, “I’m very sorry for deceiving you, Shigeo-kun. You don’t have to see me anymore.”
He doesn’t get the chance to respond to that, before she turns around and walks away.
-
Shigeo isn’t expecting to see Emi again, ever this time, so he’s surprised when he runs into her again later that day. He’s just locked up the office, and is on his way home. He decided to take a more scenic route, going by the river and taking in the sunset. However, his steady stride falters when he recognizes one of the young women in a group stopped in the middle of the walkway.
He assumes this must be the friends Emi had spoken about, and he begins to hear more of their conversation as he gets closer to them.
“C’mon, Emi, when are you going to grow up?”
“Seriously, don’t you have that report due soon? Why are you still writing this fantasy nonsense?”
“It’s cute, Emi, but they’re right. We all have to grow out of our dreams at some point.”
Emi laughs, waving a hand dismissively at a woman holding her manuscript in a tight hold, crumpling the pages, “You guys, I’m telling you, I wrote this ages ago. I just do it for fun. It’s nothing crazy.”
“I don’t know, Emi, this looks pretty serious. Why carry it around with you, if it’s old? Here,” the woman rips in half, tears the halves in half, and continues until they’re little pieces, “Now, you don’t have to worry about it anymore. Kido-san will kill you if you miss another deadline, better to let these silly dreams go–”
“Stop it.”
All the women turn to him, not having noticed him approaching. Emi’s eyes widen in shock, gasping, “Shigeo-kun?”
The woman who tore the papers barks a laugh, “Shigeo? Like the guy you just broke up with?” She shakes her head, flicking her hand to drop the last shreds of paper that were stuck to her palm, “Look, Emi is done with you, didn’t she tell you? So, why don’t you mind your own business?”
Shigeo doesn’t listen to her, his eyes narrowing into something almost like a glare, “You shouldn’t destroy things that people work so hard for. These dreams may seem silly to you, but they mean everything to the ones they belong to. Ambition and hope for the future is not something you should tear down, it’s something you should celebrate.” He kneels on the ground, slowly one by one, picking up each piece of the manuscript and placing it carefully in his palm. He probably looks ridiculous, and these women likely won’t listen to him, having long since grown up with these ideals in their minds, but he still says it anyway, “Everyone is capable of changing, of dreaming, of making something they put their whole heart into. You shouldn’t tear something like that apart. People’s feelings and what becomes of those feelings matter.”
The women stare down at him in a mix of disgust and confusion. To their surprise, though, Emi also kneels down and starts picking up pieces as well.
“Emi?”
She smiles at them, waving them off, “I’ll see you all tomorrow. I just need to clean this up first.”
Her friends falter for a moment, before slowly turning away, “Right. See you tomorrow.”
It takes some time, but the two of them compile all the pieces into a pile. Emi stares at it with a sad smile, sighing, “I don’t really know why we did that. There’s not really any way for me to fix it at this point. I’ll just have to remember what I can from memory and start over–”
A gust of wind suddenly blows by, all the pieces scattering about into the air, and she holds back tears as she stands up, “Ah, and all our hard work… I’m sorry, Shigeo-kun.”
The decision is surprisingly easy for Shigeo, despite everything. He stands with his arm outstretched, a kaleidoscope of pinks, purples, and blues surrounding him. Eventually, that aura encompasses every single strip of paper that had been flung into the sky. All of them soar through the air, and land back in Shigeo’s hands to reform the manuscript as it once was. There are marks, it’s not a perfect fix, but it’s still legible and all together. He smiles as he hands the finished papers back to Emi, “I forgot to mention before, but I’m also an esper. I exorcise spirits for a living.” He adds, resting one of his hands atop Emi’s, “I don’t think you should give up on your dreams, Emi-san.”
Emi softly squeezes his hand, holding the manuscript gently in the other, and beams, “I won’t. Thank you, Shigeo-kun.”