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Mafuyu went into the bathroom.
Her fingers reached, and turned the sink's handle.
She dove her head deep into the water.
Cold.
Hazy. She felt hazy at the bubbles floating around as she simulated speech. What in the world would she think if she was to discover the insanities she had been pulling? Who is she referring to? Kanade? Herself? Mafuyu?
Mafuyu?
Was that her name?
"Mafuyu?"
She pulls up from the water in the blink of an eye. Kanade stared at her, cut her with her gaze. Her breath came to a halt.
"What are you doing?" She asked, so gently with those droopy eyes caressing her as if she was a wet puppy in need for attention. She wasn't. Maybe? Who knows?
"I'm washing my face."
"That's an odd way to wash your face. You're lying, aren't you?"
God, there she was again. Her meticulous eye for Mafuyu's brain was splendid as always. Had she been more careful, maybe she wouldn't fear being found out; her true self. Had she stuck around her lies and the made-up plays she always put up, she wouldn't feel those burning hands on her throat, and those real, cold ones on her arm. Her kind lover. Once a friend. Once somebody to her.
Who was she again?
"Kanade." Mafuyu breathed. "Who are you, really?"
"Mm?"
Kanade tilted her head, the grip on Mafuyu's arm never faltering, never quitting their goal: to make her beloved stay with her feet on the ground. Reality was a puzzle she couldn't figure out on her own. She was helpless. She needed someone to take her in and whisper that all was okay. She'd pull through, fall again in her arms, the routine they're used to, forever and ever.
How lovely it was.
"Kanade…"
"I understand."
..
"You need some time, don't you?"
She nodded.
"Hold me if you want to." Kanade suggested, threading with her gaze the fine line between love and carelessness. If she continued at that rate, Mafuyu would never wake up from the paradise of a life she brought upon her, bound to the solitary confinement of life between she, herself, and Kanade. Would Kanade allow her to hold her as long as she wanted to? To embrace her fragile body as she leaned in with the strength of an archer, almost toppling her over and unbalancing her tiny legs? Would she?
She would.
Mafuyu knew.
Still, her arms remained in their place. She forgot everything about where she was, who she was. But she had a person in front of her, and the lingering embrace of a couple of fingers on her arm.
That was fine.
She was fine.
She was
"Mafuyu."
What?
"Are you still there?"
"No."
Kanade's eyes widened like flowerish plates. Decorated with the most beautiful of arts, but blank nonetheless, not a clue behind what was the truth or lie.
Except Kanade figured them out soon. Too soon. She was a master, a detective of Mafuyu's case of a brain. Wonderful, marvellous, Kanade. What a pity to witness her work in such a state. She'd rather feel alive, experience what it was like to figure out her own brain. Her mind was a shackle. It was in shambles. It trembled at the very thought of being pulled from its hiding spot.
It was found. For once and for all. Again and again, as many times as it had to happen.
"It's okay."
Kanade whispered. Her steady voice, quiet like a mouse that doesn't want the cat to notice its presence. How beautiful. It was hoarse, though she still found a way to turn the painfully low volume into a museum's masterpiece. Almost her magnum opus.
"It's okay?"
She could conjure melodies from the depth of everyone's hearts and create emotions Mafuyu never thought were any real. That was her magnum opus. Magic at the expense of her dwelling darkness of her own, dulled life. What if she could go back in time? Would she be any different? Would Nightcord be a thing, even?
Mafuyu was kinda glad Kanade was in pain. Thanks to it, she was able to meet her. Was that wrong? She didn't care.
She nestled her neck on her shoulder, as difficult as it was, but she managed to nonetheless. So hot, her breath against her skin. Warmth. Not expected. Not something she was used to feeling. Or receiving. And yet there she was, feeling both at the same time. The wonders Kanade could do…
"Mafuyu, what do you need?"
Her lip quivered.
"You."
"Hmm…"
Mafuyu expected more. She expected an alright , or a what do you mean. But neither answer was given. What was she supposed to do with all the emotions that had built up inside her own chest, her own shaky breath, her shivering body, her half-closed eyes, her-
She gripped tightly at Kanade's clothes. She would never let go. Never, ever. Never. Never. Never
"Hey. That hurts."
Mafuyu caught some air.
"Sorry."
"It's okay."
Mafuyu grit her teeth. "How is this possibly okay?! I'm dying, Kanade! I'm melting away, I fear you, I feel you, I can't- I can't put up with this anymore!"
"Hold on a second-"
"No!"
She pushed Kanade away, and disappeared into the darkness, the barely lit room allowing her to find a perfect hiding spot.
Kanade's bed.
She threw herself on it, and cuddled her body against the blankets, tears dripping down and down like they had never before. The whole world turned upside down. She was falling, merciless to the grasp of Kanade's hug.
What?
Kanade was… hugging her?
"Wait, Mafuyu. Please."
Kanade's weight on her created even more tears, sobs, even.
"I'm not letting you go… I promise."
Kanade sobbed. Just like broken glass, she was a victim to her pain and mind. There was no escape. They weren't okay.
But they were together.
"I'm never letting you go." She repeated with the small oxygen left in her lungs. "So please, don't run away like that. Don't do it again. I'll reach for you as many times as I need to."
Huh.
That was
Comforting.
She felt safe. Cared for. She cried, but the salt dropping from her eyes no longer hurt. Her breathed ceased from its franticness. What a relief it was to fall into the clouds after experiencing so much pain. A relief greater than any other she had ever felt. How nice it was, to have someone beside her. Kanade was the beat of her heart, her unwavering pulse against her veins. Her reason to stay alive.
She was her everything.
Her eyelids shut down.
"Thank you." Was uttered before drifting off to dreamland. Somewhere close to the warmth she had felt one day in her past. Maybe Kanade did the same. Maybe she did not.
But she knew that Kanade pulled her in, never letting go throughout the entire course of the night.
Never.
She loved her so much. Kanade did too. They were perfect for each other. So done and so crafted to fit each other's hearts.
Kanade kissed her good night, and Mafuyu swore she'd fall into her arms again someday. And that was fine. That was truly fine…