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Abandonment had always been your biggest fear. You didn’t know how it’d come about, you just knew you hated being alone. Then she left you, they say twins have a close bond–even fraternal ones–and although you and Allison had been close you’d never been stereotypically close the two of you did love one another deeply.
You’d trapped yourself in your room for the third day in a row, the only time you’d left was to look for something to eat, and even then that was only occasionally. You had nothing with you in the room except all the alcohol you could find in the house. You needed to drink to forget, forget that you were alone, forget that you’d let her die, just forget. Isaac usually stayed outside your door in case you needed him for anything, and as sweet as that was you didn’t need your boyfriend right now, you needed your sister. He was persistent, so you usually waited until he passed out if you needed anything from any other part of the house then you’d sneak passed him and come back before he woke up.
For the first two days he’d been constantly reassuring you that he was there for you if you needed him, but by now he’d learned that you–ironically–just wanted to be alone, so he supported you silently.
Your dad had also tried to talk to you, at one point he’d even attempted to break down the door, but the wardrobe had stopped him. You took another swig from the bottle of jack, you were halfway done with the bottle. You’d already downed three others consisting of vodka, tequila, and rum. You were surprised you weren’t dead yet, although that was the ultimate goal.
You couldn’t think straight at the moment and to be honest you didn’t want to, you were empty, yes you still had your friends, your boyfriend and your dad, but everyone who you’d usually gone to had died or vanished: your mom was dead, Aunt Kate was dead, grandpa was missing, and now Allison had joined their ranks. The hole in your chest ached, but thankfully you were too far gone to feel anything.
Tears flowed, but you couldn’t recall why, you screamed not knowing anything except fear and pain. You threw the half empty bottle against the wall, glass and booze splattered everywhere. You caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, hair was sticking out in all different directions, eyeliner and mascara which had been perfectly applied three days ago was now faded down your cheeks. You looked terrible, just as terrible as you felt.
Everything came caving in, you felt your heart ache for the loss of your sister, sobbs assaulted your body as you came to terms with your long gone sister. You struggled for breath, your chest heaved as the lungs within desperately fought for oxygen.
Isaac broke down the door, despite the heavy wardrobe, he knelt down next to you on the floor. You were a crumpled mess splayed out on the floor pathetically, you hated him seeing you like this, but you were too weak to tell him to leave.
You saw his lips moving, but his words didn’t register, all you knew was that he was holding you close and that you weren’t alone anymore. The tears kept falling, but Isaac didn’t care. He didn’t care that you looked like roadkill, he didn’t care that you smelled of a run down bar, he was just glad that you allowed him to stay, that you weren’t pushing him away anymore. He wasn’t going to leave you alone, and deep down you were glad to have someone there with you, even if it wasn’t your sister.