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Ray was hanging out with his friends, not the cattle children, but actual friends. Norman and Emma had insisted on him making friends.
He liked his friends because he hadn’t grown up with them. It’s nice to have friends that you haven’t seen in your nightmares, dead, with a red flower pierced through their heart. “RAYY,” His friend Kai called to him. “SCHOOLS STARTING, ARE YOU ALIVE?” Ray snaps out of his trance, getting up to join them.
At lunch, Sasha asks him to come over to her house for the night. “Sure.” Ray replies, staring at his food, or to be more accurate, the empty space where food would normally be. He had “forgotten” his lunch that day.
Ray sits down next to Norman during math class, feeling tired. He rests his head on his arms and drifts to sleep. *SLAM* Ray jolts awake, searching for any signs of danger before realizing that he was in math class. His teacher had hit the desk. “RAY!” She starts to yell. “THIS IS THE THIRD TIME THIS WEEK!” Norman was looking at him as he had probably noticed his eyebags getting worse. “sorry miss” Ray said quietly. “I didn’t mean to.” His teacher rolled her eyes. “Ray, if this happens again I’m sending you to the office.” Ray nods.
“Are you not sleeping again?” Norman, perceptive as ever, asks. Ray just nods, tired. “I read about some methods to help people with insomnia, would you like to try some?” Ray gives Norman a weary smile. “Thanks but, I’ll be fine, I’ve stayed awake for longer.” It hurt Norman to know what that meant, they shouldn’t have had to go through all of that. “Do you know why Emma doesn’t take math?” Ray asked, as he didn’t know the reason for his sister’s absence from this class. “She took art instead, she said that she never wanted to do math ever again.” Norman explains.
After class was over, Ray walks over to his friends meeting spot, where they were chatting excitedly. “RAY!” Annabelle exclaimed. “JERAMY IS HOSTING A SLEEPOVER, ARE YOU COMING!?” She was easily excited. “Sure, I’ll have to tell the others though.” Annabelle squeaked in excitement and pulled him into a hug, she was taller than him so his face was in her breasts. “See you there!” She says, letting go and walking away. His other friends were laughing at his red face.
Ray arrives at the house he, Emma, Norman, Gilda and Don lived in. “Hey,” He startled Emma. “I’m going to Jeramy’s house tonight, can you tell the others?” Emma nods before skipping off to find Phil, who she was babysitting. Ray goes upstairs to get his toothbrush and pyjamas.
“THE EMO IS HERE!” Annabelle yells, opening the door. “Hi Annabelle.” Ray says, walking in. Annabelle grabs him by the wrist and drags him upstairs to where the others were. “I brought alcohol, have you ever drank?” Sasha asked, wanting to know his tolerance. “No, I’m underage, Emma and Norman’d kill me.” He says sheepishly. “Well prepare to get killed by emerald eyes and snow boy.” Mara chimes in. Ray smiles and sits down. “We’ll be playing truth or dare!” Kai says, pouring everyone a shot, “If you chicken out, you take a shot.” Everyone nods in agreement.
“Ray, truth or dare.” Annabelle asks. “Truth, im scared of what you’ll dare me to do.” Annabelle acts offended. “Do you like emerald eyes? I’ve seen you looking at her.” Annabelle’s tone was teasing. “No, I see her as a sister.” Ray says, the others nod. “Jay, truth or dare?” Ray asks. “Dare.” Jay says with a determined smile. “Let the girls do your makeup.” Annabelle smiles wickedly. “It’s on!” Jay gets up and walks over to the girls who were getting out their makeup bags.
Fifteen minutes later, Ray had taken three shots and confessed that he liked Annabelle and not Emma. “Ray?” Jeramy asks, the full question not needed. “Truth,” Jay hums before asking his question. “what was the danger you were in as a child?” Ray immediately takes a shot. “Babyyyy” Sasha draws out, reaching for Jay and their boyfriend Théodore, he didn’t hang out with them often, but he came for his partners. Théodore moves over to where Sasha was lying. “Mmmmm” She was the most drunk.
“Let’s stop this. We should play two truths, one lie next!” Annabelle piped up. “If you guess wrong you take a drink?” Jay proposed. Annabelle nodded enthusiastically. “I’m going first!” Annabelle says, smiling. “I hate Sarah-may. My parents suck. Annndd, I have a crush on Jeramy.” The boy flushed beat red. “It’s the third one.” The others look at Ray with confusion. “You haven’t met my parents, or Sarah-may. How would you know.” Annabelle questions. “Was I right?”
“Yes.”
”Then it’s my turn!” Annabelle sighs, knowing that she’s not going to get a response. “My caretaker at the orphanage was abusive, I have tried to kill myself, and I have insomnia!” Normally, Ray wouldn’t admit these things, but the alcohol was clouding his judgment. The others looked at him in shock. “The- the second one?” Jeramy says, hoping that he guessed right. Ray makes a cross with his arms. “Incorrect, the first one is a lie.” His speech was slightly slurred. “You tried to-” Mara didn’t finish her sentence. “Emma stopped me, we were…” he paused for a second, “twelveish” Annabelle pulled him into a hug, “you don’t want to die anymore, right?” She asks, concerned. Ray stops to think for a bit. “Not very often anymore.” He replies. “I’m still grateful that she stopped my attempt though.” Ray says with a small smile.
Annabelle doesn’t let go of him. “Can you tell us why? Please?” She asks. “It’s ok if you don’t want to, we’ll understand.” Théodore says from where Sasha was lying on him. “I guess, the easiest way to put it is that I wanted to go out on my own terms. My life expectancy was twelve. I also thought that Norman was dead.” Ray says with a small laugh. The others look at him with sympathy. “You don’t need to be sympathetic, Emma and Norman had it worse.” Ray says, invalidating his own suffering, something he often did.
Annabelle let’s go of him, “Talk to us if you ever feel like that again.” She says firmly. “Why did you think Norman was dead?” Jay asks, face painted as a clown. “You wouldn’t believe me.”
“Yes we would.”
”No, you wouldn’t.” Ray reiterates. “Fine, but tell us anyway.” Jay wasn’t going to let this go. Suddenly, a tree fell across the road due to strong winds. Ray starts to panic, looking for a weapon and upon realizing that there wasn’t one, curls into a ball, trying to hide. He starts to hyperventilate, they escaped, there shouldn’t be demons here. His panic rises when the windows rattle. He has to protect them, they were being reckless, they should hide. Ray runs over to Mara and try's to pull her into a hiding spot. “What the fuck, Ray!?” She says, swatting him off. “You’ll- I-” Ray couldn’t form coherent sentences. She notices the hyperventilating. “Oh, THÉO!” She calls for Théodore, who was the best a dealing with panic attacks. He rushes over and try’s to grab Rays wrists to calm him down, only to panic him more. It’s hard to comfort someone when you don’t know their trauma.
“Guys, Rays having a panic attack.” The others rush over, all trying to comfort him. He lashes out, hitting Kai in the cheek, before backing away like a cornered animal. Annabelle notices blood on his hands, he must have been digging his nails into his palms. “Ray?” She asks softly, slowly approaching him. “we were supposed to be safe. they’re not supposed to be here.” She hears him muttering to himself. “Ray, you’re safe, you’re at Jeramy’s house.” She reassures. He looks up, slowly calming down, “sorry” he whispers. “I don’t know what came over me. I apologize.” Annabelle looks at him with sympathy. “We all have panic attacks, it’s fine.” She comforts, tugging him in close. “Can you tell us your triggers?” Annabelle was warm, Ray notices as he draws a shaky breath. “It would probably be better if I told you what happened in my childhood.” He mutters. “Can the others know to?” He nods. “Ok then, come on.” She tugs him towards the rest of the group.
Ray looks at them nervously. “Ray wants to tell us what happened in his childhood.” Annabelle says for him. “I-” Ray starts, his voice uneven. “Me and the other children were raised as food.” His voice evened out. “I always knew, I sold them out to guarantee their safety.” He takes a slow breath. “I planned my suicide from age six.” Annabelle reaches for him, but then stops so he can continue. “I helped them to find out the truth. I made so many of our siblings get shipped out early, I sold them out.” They could tell Ray had survivors guilt from the way he talked about his dead siblings. “Emma and Norman started suspecting a spy, Norman was the one to find out that it was me. Mama broke Emma’s leg, then Norman got shipped out, I was tired.” Théodore rubs his back comfortingly. “On my twelfth birthday I tried to set myself on fire.” Mara gasps. “Emma caught the match and we managed to escape.” Ray was shaking, trying to hold back tears.
“We found demons that didn’t eat humans and they guided us to the shelter we were headed to. Then we met Yuugo. He was interesting, I- I miss him.” Ray’s voice breaks, and tears start to flow. “Shhh, it’s ok, you’re safe here.” Annabelle comforts him, holding him tight. The group decided to call it a night.
The next day, Ray wakes up in Annabelle’s arms. “Good morning.” She says. “Emerald eyes wants you back home.” Jay says from across the room, Théodore leaning on him and Sasha sprawled out on their laps. “Mhm.” Ray gets up, getting ready to leave. “Remember what I said, you can talk to us.” Annabelle says, her voice slightly stern. Ray nods. “No goodbye kiss?” She teases, watching Ray’s face light up. Ray obviously wasn’t going to do anything, so she stands up and plants a kiss on his cheek.
“How was it Ray?” Norman asks after he arrives home. “Fun, a tree was ripped out of the ground.” Norman nods and walks off to where his girlfriend was sitting. The redhead sees him coming and knocks him over on the couch. Ray chuckles to himself, everything was right in the world.
He walks upstairs with a smile.