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He knew this month would be a bad one but frankly he didn't really care.
Not even two weeks ago, Remus had lost everything. All his best friends were dead and it was his boyfriend's fault. His boyfriend who was now in the most brutal prison in the wizarding world.
Remus was alone.
If it had been a decade ago, he wouldn't have been as affected. He'd been alone most of his life at that point. But now he's had friends. He'd had a family. A family who'd done so much for him and he'd done so much for. People he'd loved with his entire being.
But now he was alone.
He had known this moon would be bad. It was always worse if he was stressed or upset, it made the wolf restless and aggressive, and with the amount of agonising grief he'd gone through, it was guaranteed that the wolf would not be happy.
He hadn't expected to survive the night. Wasn't sure if he wanted to.
When he'd woken up lying on the floor in the middle of the woods, a puddle of his own blood slowly spreading beneath him from the countless gashes that littered his body, he'd wished he actually had died. Of course, he could never actually have something he wanted.
He was so cold. He felt almost like he had a fever but he wasn't ill. Although, he felt nauseous and dizzy enough to be.
The trees spun around him or maybe it was the floor. Closing his eyes didn't seem to help. He felt like he was going to be sick.
Why couldn't he breathe? He was panting like he'd just been sprinting but he couldn't seem to get any air in. Then again, what did it matter anymore? No one would care if he never left these woods. He could just stay here on the floor and wait for Death's welcoming embrace.
He pulled his knees up to his chest, curling up on the dirty, bloody ground. He tried to slow his breathing. If he ended up stopping breathing it wouldn't matter anyway.
Maybe he'd see Lily and James again. Remus hoped so.
A voice was shouting. He thought he might've heard his name. Was it Lily? James? Was he dead? Why did he still feel so awful? His head was pounding now. He just wanted the pain to end but maybe he was asking too much. Maybe it would never end...