Chapter Text
“I’m just not sure he’s ready for this,” Dean said.
John let out a loud sigh and rubbed a hand over the rough stubble on his jaw.
“He already has his ring, Dean.” His voice stayed firm. “You and Caleb were leading hunts long before either of you earned yours.” He leaned back slightly. “It’s time. We can’t coddle him forever.”
“It’s not about coddling him, Dad!” Dean snapped. “You and I both know he doesn’t have the experience I did at his age.”
“You’re right.” John nodded once. “He doesn’t.” His expression hardened. “And this is how he gets it.”
Dean gripped the kitchen chair so hard his knuckles went white.
He glanced toward Pastor Jim sitting quietly at the head of the table.
“Jim?” Dean asked desperately. “You okay with this?” He shook his head. “He’s barely seventeen.”
Pastor Jim looked at him sympathetically.
“My dear boy…” He sighed softly. “I know Sam received special treatment.” His expression saddened slightly. “He got his ring early because he behaved heroically.” He folded his hands together. “But that decision raised questions among other members of the Brotherhood.” His voice lowered carefully. “We granted full passage into the Brotherhood to a child with very little real-world experience.” He looked directly at Dean. “Now he has to learn to lead.” A faint smile crossed his face. “Just as you and Caleb did.”
“We aren’t making this decision lightly,” Mackland added quietly.
“He’s going to be in danger,” Dean growled.
“We’re always in danger,” John answered immediately.
“Then I’ll go with him.” Dean crossed his arms. “I’ll be his second.”
“You can’t go with him, Dean,” Mackland said softly.
“Why not?” Dean demanded. “At least if things go to hell, I’ll be there to pick up the pieces.”
“That,” Pastor Jim answered gently, “is exactly why you can’t go.”
The Pastor rose from his chair and crossed the kitchen before resting a hand on Dean’s shoulder.
“We know you want to protect him.” His voice softened. “That’s what makes you such a good brother.” He smiled sadly. “And such a strong leader.” His expression shifted slightly. “But Sam needs to do this on his own.” He squeezed Dean’s shoulder lightly. “He’s always had you there to fix things for him.” He shook his head. “If you go, he’ll never truly learn how to lead.”
Dean’s shoulders sank.
“Fine.”
“This is out of your hands, Dean.” John’s tone turned final. “This is a Triad decision.” He gestured toward the hallway. “Now go. We have business to discuss.”
“Yes, sir.”
Dean left the kitchen and headed upstairs.
He already knew arguing wouldn’t change anything.
Sam was going on the hunt.
Without him.
Without the Triad.
And all Dean could do now was make sure his little brother survived it.
He paused outside the room he shared with Sam before suddenly turning down the hallway toward Caleb’s old room.
The room barely looked different from when Caleb had decorated it as a teen, and Dean immediately crossed toward the phone sitting on the desk.
He dialed quickly.
“Jim? That you?”
“Uh… no.” Dean shut the door quietly behind him. “Just borrowing his phone.”
“Well, damn.” Caleb laughed softly through the line. “I can always spare a minute for you, Deuce.” He paused. “What do you need?”
“You got anything going on this weekend?”
“Nothing concrete.” Caleb sounded amused. “Probably bars and women.” He snorted. “Why? You wanna join me?”
“Not exactly.” Dean rubbed awkwardly at the back of his neck. “I was wondering if…”
“Spit it out, kid.”
Dean sighed.
“Could you make it to the farm this weekend?”
Caleb went quiet immediately.
“Wasn’t really planning on it,” he admitted slowly. “Why? Job come up?”
“Not exactly.” Dean hesitated. “You know what? Never mind. It’s stupid.” He started pulling the phone away. “I’m sure I’ll see you soon, Damien.”
“Don’t you dare hang up on me.” Caleb’s tone sharpened instantly. “What’s going on?” He paused. “You never call me like this.”
Dean leaned against the desk and sighed heavily.
“Look…” His voice lowered. “Sam’s going on a hunt this weekend.” He swallowed hard. “It’s time for him to lead.”
Caleb cursed under his breath.
“Say no more.” His voice turned serious immediately. “I’ll be there Friday afternoon.”
“Thanks…”
“He’s gonna be fine, Deuce.” Caleb softened slightly. “We were.”
“I know.”
“See you in a couple days.”
The line clicked dead.
Dean hung up slowly before heading back toward the Winchester bedroom.
He hesitated outside the door for a second before finally pushing it open.
Sam sat with his back toward the door, headphones on, listening to Dean’s old dented cassette player.
Dean crossed the room and yanked the headphones off his head.
Sam spun around immediately with venom in his eyes.
“What the hell is your problem?” he snapped.
As Sam got older, the anger got sharper.
Over the last two years he’d started going toe-to-toe with John regularly, never hesitating to tell their father exactly what he thought of his parenting.
Dean had slowly stopped stepping between them.
There was no winning anymore.
If Dean defended Sam, John got angry.
If he sided with John, Sam wouldn’t speak to him for days.
So lately Dean mostly stayed quiet.
“Calm down, would you?” Dean tossed the headphones onto the bed. “I’m trying to give you a heads-up.” He shrugged lightly. “Being a good brother and all.”
Sam crossed his arms suspiciously.
“What do you mean?”
Dean sat down heavily on his bed and rested his elbows on his knees.
“You’ve got a hunt this weekend.”
Sam rolled his eyes immediately.
“I’m not going anywhere this weekend, Dean.” He pointed toward the stack of textbooks nearby. “I’ve got a physics test next week.” His expression darkened. “You and Dad can handle whatever it is yourselves.”
“Sammy…” Dean rubbed a hand over his face. “It’s not that kind of hunt.” He looked up at him carefully. “Dad and I aren’t going.”
Sam frowned.
“Then why do I have to go?”
“Well…” Dean leaned back slightly. “You remember when Dad sent me on my first hunt without him?” He shrugged. “The one outside Vegas?” He smiled faintly. “Couple months before I got my ring.”
Sam’s expression slowly changed.
“You mean…” He stood up abruptly. “The Triad’s sending me out on my own?”
Dean nodded once.
“It’s time, kiddo.” He sighed. “They delayed it because you got your ring early.” He shrugged weakly. “But it’s basically a rite of passage around here.” He looked directly at Sam. “Time for you to lead.”
Sam stared at him from beneath his long bangs.
And suddenly he looked younger again.
Softer.
Not angry teenage Sam.
Not the kid fighting with John every other night.
Just Sammy.
“Dean…” His voice dropped almost to a whisper. “I’m not a leader.” He shook his head slowly. “I never will be.”
Dean wanted to tell him he agreed.
Wanted to say:
You’re still just a kid.
You shouldn’t have to do this.
You don’t have enough experience.
It’s okay if you fail.
But he didn’t.
Instead he stood and crossed the room before gripping Sam’s shoulder tightly enough to force his brother to look at him.
“You’ve led us before without even realizing it.” Dean’s voice stayed firm. “Do you know how many times we would’ve died if it weren’t for you?” He shook his head. “You’re a natural leader, Sammy.” He smirked faintly. “Hell, that’s half the reason you and Dad fight so much.”
Sam snorted softly.
“You’re a Winchester,” Dean continued. “Those hunters are gonna look to you for direction.” His grip tightened slightly. “And they’ll listen.”
Sam swallowed hard.
“Use your training.” Dean smiled faintly. “You can’t stay a Private forever.” He nudged Sam lightly. “Time for a promotion.”
Sam’s expression hardened again almost immediately.
“I don’t remember agreeing to enlist,” he muttered. “Maybe I’m not looking for a promotion.”
Dean smirked sadly.
“We were drafted.” He shrugged. “You know that.”
“Yeah.” Sam looked away. “Well, I hate it.”
“Sammy…” Dean sighed heavily. “I can’t get you out of this one.”
“I know.” Sam rubbed tiredly at his eyes. “It’s not your fault, Dean.”
Dean nodded slowly.
“Listen.” He pointed toward the books on the desk. “Recon’s already done.” He smiled slightly. “You’ve got three days to research, then you go on your hunt, lead your team…” He forced some confidence into his voice. “And when you get back, I’ll crack open a few cold ones with you.” He smirked. “Damien’s coming down too.”
That finally earned a small smile from Sam.
“Right…” Sam nodded weakly. “Celebrate.”
“Exactly.”
Sam grabbed his jacket off the chair.
“I’m gonna go for a walk before dinner.” He glanced toward the floor. “Play stupid for another hour or two.”
Then he walked out, leaving Dean alone in the room.
Dean collapsed backward onto the bed and stared at the ceiling.
A sick feeling twisted in his stomach.
He wondered briefly if John felt this way when he sent Dean out on his first solo hunt.
Then he snorted bitterly to himself.
Probably not.