Archive of Our Own

Tsukasa wakes up in a hospital bed.

It is raining outside. Mother is silently weeping in the corner of a room, and Saki is slumped beside him, head down, dressed in her school uniform, holding his hand in her sleep.

His eyelids feel heavy. His breath is even but weak, and his torso is numb because of the painkillers.

He cannot see his father anywhere.

He also cannot feel his legs.

He falls asleep again, dazed.

🌟

Now a true star was always someone who was there to save the day.

With a heavy red cloak behind them and a dazzling smile, they came into your life with open arms and made it all better.

No, that description would have made them more like a “hero”, but stars were heroes for some and villains for others; that was how it usually went.

When he was a little boy saving was a part of his nature. There were so many things to fix and so many people to save. He could do it with a simple but warm embrace and a smile. He would practice it in front of the mirror when it was too late, yet no one was home to make sure he went to bed early.

He would stare at himself with annoyance and guilt every time it couldn’t reach his eyes. He would push the edges up with his fingers and focus so hard his eyes would hurt a little because he’d forget to blink. Hours would go by, accompanied by the grumpy huffs and unsettling sound of tap-tap-tap in the sink below.

A smile like this one was hard to fake. Every time the boy's nature was at war with his logic, his heart was unwilling to simply oblige. That was as much as a child his age could handle, and, well, once his mother found him slumped from exhaustion on the cold tiled floor, he wouldn’t be allowed to stay in the bathroom for long, not if someone was home.

Luckily, they rarely were.

🌟

He's seen all the members of his trope cry; they were, at their core, honest, vulnerable people. Even Rui, with his half-smiles and mysterious stares, would share a heartfelt laugh with them and cry during those warm, silent embraces they would have at the end of the show program. That was when the lights were cast aside, and only small, but genuinely happy kids remained, jumping on the tails of dreams and grasping youth while it was still visible and they could enjoy it.

Emu, a true crybaby with a crooked smile and shiny eyes, was a hugger, a loud noise, so distinct you wouldn't able to ignore it even if you tried to. People used to say he and Emu could probably do physical harm to someone with their brash loudness, but it never stopped them and they would cry and hug so tightly it was borderline crazy.

Nene, he thinks, was always the most stoic. Scrunched nose, a silent puff of annoyed air, a gentle shove at his side, and a clean napkin thrown at his face. Nene is - always was - so delicate and yet so terrifyingly strong he envied her sometimes. He also pitied her when she struggled to express something, but was not sure how to do it.

So when he wakes up the second time, he wants to go back to sleep again because she is sitting beside his bed, and an endless stream of tears fills the room with see-salt water.

'She would make a cute mermaid', he thinks.

It is a weird thing to think about, but he’s attached to - something - his head is filled with cotton and his body is so light he can barely feel it. Not his legs, they are still mute.

Maybe they've become mermaids together.

🌟

Tsukasa once wanted to be a magician since he wasn’t smart enough to be a doctor; he would murmur funny spells and make Saki drink water with colourful berries thrown into the bottle, claiming it was a special potion.

He did it for other kids on the same floor, and they seemed to love it. One day he was coming out of the Saki’s room and saw one of the kid’s parents crying, hunched on the bench near the door. He looked at them in wonder. He felt uneasy.

‘Mom, why were Yuko’s parents crying?’

She looked at him with an expression he now fails to remember.

‘She is no longer in the hospital’

‘Oh! So my potion helped her?’

Mother stayed silent for a while, thinking. Her voice sounded warm and kind, but her face - again, he really cannot seem to remember it now. Something about it was off, he thinks. Adults were always so careful around him and Saki - he wished they weren’t. He never really knew what to expect and how to interpret their feelings and words.

‘It seems so, dear’

It made him extremely happy and even more sad and disappointed when his potions did not help Saki in the slightest.

So he found himself in front of the mirror again, thinking of what kind of story to tell her, what kind of joke and play to perform, when he sees her next time; when he finds his parents tomorrow, sleeping on a sofa in a living room, too tired to make it to the bedroom and makes their morning coffee.

He tried to smile. He started crying instead.

He was so angry with himself, so outraged; you failed as a magician, so at least try and master the best smile in the world, will you? Your sister deserves this much!

However, it never quite reached his eyes. Potions, at least, looked convincing.

🌟

The third awakening is brief. He feels lonely, there is no one around, but then the door opens, and Saki is smiling at him, all warm and sunny again.

She was always better at that than he was. He always believed her. He believes her now.

‘Saki,’ he half-whispers and she, excited to hear from him finally, is instantly at his side.

‘Brother!’ there is a little bottle in her hand, the clear liquid inside shiny and a little gloomy looking, berries at the very top of it. ‘How are you feeling?’

He thinks about it and answers short but honest, ‘No idea.’

Saki hums.

It is a soothing sound, melodic and gentle. Saki sings like an angel, and he wants to clap with hurting force at one of the concerts for her band again because it never fails to make him excited. It always fills his heart with love so strong he is sometimes unsure how to deal with it without tearing up.

‘Want me to sing you a lullaby?’ she's not making fun of him, simply suggests. Saki pours herself a cup of potion, luring him into drowsiness with the image of water slowly filling a tall glass. He nods, ‘I’m sorry, there’s only enough for me. I’ll make you some when doctors allow me, all right?’ he nods again, ‘Great.’

Tsukasa closes his eyes, and before she can begin, hastily crocks out:

‘Can you make’, he takes a long breath in, his lungs filled with crushed glass, ‘Some for Nene? She was…crying. She needs some.’

His tongue is slippery, his body is heavy, and his legs are still not quite there. There’s a brief pause, an empty silence. He cannot see Saki’s face, he’s too pained to open his eyes - but it’s fine, really - too shaken and sensitive to hospital sheets to move - he can handle it just fine - but there is no need. She probably thinks about what kind of flavour Nene would enjoy.

‘Blueberries.’

Another pause and then a little too sad to be happy voice asks, ‘She likes them?’

‘She picks them whe…hgn…’

When they eat ice cream together. Rui likes vanilla, Emu gets the bubble-gum one, and Nene always chooses the blubbery flavoured. Looks very happy eating it, too.

‘Ok, I’ll keep that in mind’, Saki lays a cool hand on his forehead, and there is a synthetic, but very sweet, almost real happiness in her voice. ‘Now, let me sing you, Brother’

And so she sings.

🌟

A little girl was crossing a road, dark pig-tails jumping as she stumbled, too excited to walk calmly, almost running to the other side where a boy in a yellow hat waved at her.

She was screaming, all found and so childishly happy, it made her smile too big for her round face, ‘Brother! I’m almost there, wait for me!’

She was a big girl, she was crossing a road all by herself, proud and ready to impress. Her mother was laughing, keeping a hold on her son and waiting patiently as the girl got closer and closer, her feet still too short to help her walk a great distance at a time.

Her hair had ribbons, and she wore a backpack shaped like a teddy bear.

There was a truck coming at her; too fast and too sudden and wobbly, uncontrolled.

This was the point at which Tsukasa was no longer watching; he was moving instead.

🌟

He wakes up screaming, hands grasping at the sheets, voice rough with pain and pure agony.

He is so, so terrified, his whole body is shaking, and the room is dark - even though there is no way to tell why.

Someone embraces him, a soothing hand on his back and a deep voice somewhere on the edges of his shaken mind. His eyesight clears, and he looks at his dad, at his hands, pale from constant gripping, a spinning hospital room and then at his legs - to be more precise, at their absence.

He screams again - way more desperate this time, losing his ability to breathe altogether for a few seconds that feel like decades.

Losing consciousness feels like a relief this time.

🌟

Tsukasa loved his dad.

His dad used to be all smiles and heartily laughs, carrying them on both shoulders and braiding Saki’s hair before she’d go to a mall with them, her first real walks after abandoning the stroller.

See Tsukasa doesn’t remember much of himself, but he does remember a lot of his sister. It is a good thing - he treasures it - even if sometimes putting pieces together is hard, and he has to check himself in a mirror, not quite sure of how his face looks.

His dad then became a lurking warm shadow of the house, so busy and absent he was barely ever there. Working, and working and sleeping limp and worn-down, sipping a coffee and reading bills with a placid expression.

Still, he was there, even if not quite, and, when Tsukasa felt like the weight of the world would slump on his shoulders for too long, he would come up to him and stare, quite yet persistent.

He would get his answer - a huge warm hand on his head, a genuine tired smile.

‘You are doing great, son,’ there would be a presence of guilt in his voice though Tsukasa would struggle to figure out why. ‘I can always count on you, aren’t I? I am lucky to have you - both of you.’

And then a pure bliss - a steady grasp on his right shoulder and long-awaited reassurance.

‘You take care of them, and I will take care of you. Always.’

As if he was being allowed to be a child for a minute as if he had the right to feel small, scared, tired, and lost, and the hand was guiding him through, without pushing too hard or stopping altogether.

He doesn’t even know if that was real or if he made that up; he pretends it was, even if it is just a delusion.

He hugs himself to sleep and longs for the days when someone carried him on a broad back laughing loudly.

🌟

From that point on everything is…a blur. He grieves, he anxiously loses to panic from time to time, and he stares at his missing parts, not fully aware of their absence, but sober enough to let the brain catch up to his eyes and see it. He stares at the ceiling, lost but not empty, just tired from constant thinking, dreaming, and grasping for hope.

His hopes and dreams are crushed, but not dead; it just so happens that he is hopeless. He was born to be big and loud, pushing and running and climbing up to the top to break the sun apart and take its place. Losing limbs is expectedly unpredictable and scary, unnatural, but Tsukasa is still alive, and somehow this realisation alone brings him comfort.

He sees how his family mourns, how his friends are affected by silent despair. How they all wish they could do something to help, to be there for him whilst he lacks the ability to recognize the consequences of his sad circumstances, so far gone in his self-reassurance that he cannot even let himself be upset for a justified and expected amount of time.

He is happy to be alive. He does not want to imagine what would happen to them if he wasn’t.

Tsukasa does not know if he’s the person everyone sees him as; he simply believes it, convincing himself and others. It comes naturally, like a fated destiny or a well-practised role. That keeps him grounded, confident.

So he wakes up. He lets Saki go meet with her friends, insisting she simply must; he lets his mother take a look at his room repeatedly, unhappy with his current living conditions and be vocal about it to soothe her nerves. While his father is dozed off on a chair nearby, he looks at his reflection in the water left on a bedside table and grins.

Smiles. Chuckles softly and stares with too much confidence in himself.

It feels like a homecoming; his tiredness spoils the practice a little, but the efforts are still there and for now it is more than enough.

🌟

Love was a constant, the most wonderful thing in his life.

He loved and he was loved and he treasured it like an old toy one keeps to help nostalgia melt away with time.

Tsukasa was the loud child, the smiling one, the emotional; sometimes so full of affection, and happiness that pure joy was spilling and drowning everyone, himself included. He was blessed with it - with his heart - and he learnt to embrace it like a gift, not hide it from others or feel too vulnerable for a boy.

He loved his family, he loved his sister, Toya, his friends he loved, he loved and he loved and the love itself kept him going, made him better, helped him recover during the darkest of times.

He even loved himself - not as much as people sometimes thought, unimpressed by his shenanigans, but enough to forgive himself and accept the sides that were not as great, but still very much a part of him.

So once, when he was sharing a conversation with a boy who got him better than anyone else, he heard from him that he was loved for his failures and stubbornness as well, he felt a little bit like crying and very much like laughing. It was so abstract to him, that type of love, so strong that it made one not notice the annoying details. Then he remembered that what once would make him pissed or upset about Saki, just made him smile tiredly nowadays, and it suddenly started making a lot more sense.

He liked this love. He wondered if he would ever understand it fully, but he truly liked it.

🌟

Visitors come more often, once people find out he's ready for it.

Emu tells him about a movie, moving and gasping, laughing at her jokes, while Nene whines out of pure annoyance because she cannot cut the apple slices into bunny shapes. Shizuku helps her - with a maniac speed and practised movements - and then Saki feeds Tsukasa, giggling each time Emy says ‘NOM!’ when he takes another bite.

Kohane accompanied by Minori comes to say hello and wish him good health, and bonds with Nene so naturally, their voices barely above a whisper, that he feels so happy he cannot help but scream, unable to contain it inside. Nene looks annoyed and he loves it; he's missed it more than anything. Kohane just blinks amazed and pained at the same time, sensitive to loud noises.

Saki and her friends end up having a small practice in his hospital room because she is too stubborn to leave his side while Shiho is straight-up pissed for their lack of rehearsals. She catches herself midway, looking at him, eyes filled with shame for the outburst, but Tsukasa simply nobs, encouragingly, so they do it right there trying to be as quiet as it is possible for a group like Leo/need.

Seeing people is just nice; it is refreshing and lively and so normal.

It gets a bit funny when the least expected and weird group visits. He is having one of his quiet and tired days, exhaustion creeping into his heart from all the laughing, talking and screaming. They also inject something in him to ease the pain, after one of the stitches on what’s left of his legs breaks.

Tsukasa is delighted to see Mizuki, even if it’s almost impossible to feel this fully under the influence of medicine. Ena's presence makes sense, they always come in a clutch, and Toya is there too - his heart blooms and it seems like the day takes a new turn, instantly so much brighter and better than before. He’s amused by his instant reflex to jump out of bed and hug him tight; he has no time to be sad about it, however, because he's caught off guard by the sight of Akito, looking uncomfortable but determent to stay (even though he would rather go away).

At some point, Mizuki say, ‘The girl you saved is doing very well,' they smile kindly, proud almost. ‘I heard she wants to visit, but her mother wanted to ask if you were ok with it.’ they shrug uncertain and turn to Toya as if searching for approval, ’Right?’

Toya nods.

‘Oh that’s a relief!' and it is, Tsukasa has been wondering the whole time but was too distracted or forgetful to ask. ‘I am happy to hear that. Everyone's been avoiding the topic and at some point, I thought she died anyway.’ his head is foggy and he’s still very tired, so he lets his mouth run, uncontrolled and a bit too honest. ‘I thought it would make it hilarious. Cried so hard I vomited.’

There is a long, awkward silence; he is unaware of it, too busy picking up slices of orange from the plate in his hands. Then Mizuki just lose it completely, laughing so hard it brings tears to their eyes, accompanied by empty stares from both Ena and Toya and a very clear, slightly mortified voice of Akito saying:

‘Dude,’ his face is painted with so much unease it’s funny on its own. ‘What the fuck?’

Tsukasa cannot help it, he uses the opportunity to tease, ‘Sorry, I’d walk away to spare you the trouble’ he pointedly stares at his bottom, expression calm, and looks back at Shinonome, shrugging, ‘but it seems like this option is unavailable for now.'

‘You are weird.'

‘That is not a very nice thing to say to someone in my position, don't you think?'

Akito is unnerved by his bluntness, so the last thing Tsukasa hears from the guy through the continuous screech of Mizuki, who are still very much laughing, is him mumbling, ‘He hangs out with that Kamishiro guy way too much.'

He says it to no one in particular but wavers in Toya’s direction as if proving a point of some kind of argument Tsukasa is not aware of. Toya neither nods to agree nor declines his statement. He knows Tenma siblings long enough to prove him wrong but does not see the point of it - he chooses to just smile a little at Akito's ignorance, somewhat charmed by it all the same.

If anything, Tsukasa was as bad as Rui sometimes; the influence went both ways.

When your sister is constantly on edge of death throughout her childhood, it makes your inside jokes a little too hard for a common crowd. Coping mechanisms are a bit insane like that. He would not let himself say it if not for the tiredness and painkillers and other medicaments and simple wish to poke at someone, who’s so easily and openly distressed.

It is not that funny, he knows. He tells himself it is, in a way.

Luckily, stitches never once open after that.

🌟

If the younger version of him knew that falling in love is not at all like they presented it in movies, he’d be mortified. He knew enough to pretend on stage and understand the books or why his classmates would be so excited, but he never truly felt it, because, romantically, he wasn’t exactly someone's target in general.

For many people, love was mysterious and quiet. It was contained in longing stares and hushed, bashful conversations. Tsukasa spent most of his life wearing his heart on his sleeve, hyperbolizing dramatic love confessions on stage and treating every single person he adored as a family member. He seemed like a person not interested in dating. According to Saki’s analysis, at least.

Then Rui happened.

So fast, in fact, he barely noticed, but it felt right, like finding a piece of a long-forgotten puzzle he always wanted to finish. It fell into the empty space and clicked - then suddenly he was holding hands, sharing smiles and blowing up random objects in school, prepared to run away immediately after, to escape the principal’s wrath.

Here it was, the thing he mentioned - Rui was annoying. He was stubborn, foolish at times, kept his thoughts to himself and refused to crack under any pressure as if his life depended on it. He was always there to challenge, to disagree, to fight with him over random things, and yet Tsukasa could never bring himself to dislike the boy.

He found himself laying in his bed in the middle of the night, thinking, what if they. Kissed. Instead.

He felt foolish, and he told Rui about it since he was still up. They came to the conclusion they were a couple of weird fools.

They kissed too at some point.

Still, he adored being able to love, even if in his unique way, so this - this just made it better.

He resented the fact that it wasn’t him standing on one knee in front of Rui’s balcony, it wasn’t them running away from the rest of the world or being separated by opposite sides, anguished with longing. Yes, books just straight-up lied like that, but he also mocked them because, really, they would never get what he had, not in a million years.

Rui suggested building a white robotic horse if that would satisfy his needs.

Tsukasa said that for a date in a shopping mall, that was just ridiculous.

He was gifted a metallic rose instead. It was ridiculously sharp because Rui wasn't used to this type of carving, but if Tsukasa pushed one of the leaves, the rose would start singing a childish song about two frogs falling in love.

Romeo and Juliet could never.

🌟

He wonders why Rui doesn't visit.

He knows that most people in his situation would be heartbroken and feel neglected, would blame the partner for being cold, suggest the worst and believe they are being cast aside as useless, ugly, and too much to handle. Tsukasa does feel that at some point, during the most difficult of days, but instead of letting the misery get to him, he gets absolutely enraged with himself because how can you possibly think that about Rui.

So he waits and tries to come up with excuses, telling himself that Rui is way better than that. He also never asks, because deep down Tsukasa is still scared to hear something proving his fears have reason to grow.

Moreover, Nene does not have the slightest note of anger or disappointment in her, and he knows, she would’ve if something of the sort was happening; Emu does not avoid talking about them, bringing up the topic of Rui’s past inventions from time to time.

Then finally, one night he wakes up, thirsty and agitated by a vaguely uncomfortable dream. He pushes the blanket aside to scratch the skin on his upper body, still too worried to touch the wounds directly, and at that exact moment the window opens and a person climes in, carefully but with practised ease.

They look at each other, taking in the appearance of what has remained of ‘before the accident'. Tsukasa sure hopes he does not look too much of a mess because Rui has grown his hair out - not even intentionally, he’s sure of it - and it suits him so well in that small ponytail of his. Tsukasa wants to whine not in a cute or suggestive way, but like a wounded animal on verge of death.

The time they spent apart has made him forget that not only was Rui perfect for him personality vise - the guy was also attractive. Was that even legal?

Rui notices and laughs, but does not say anything; he is looking at his unfinished dinner instead and sighs dramatically:

‘They feed you vegetables. You lost your legs, not your taste, why would they do this to you?’

‘I actually like vegetables, shut up’ Tsukasa is relieved to slide into chatter so easily, something that is challenging with others, especially nowadays. ‘I bet without me by your side for so long, you ate what? Cola and mint candies for dinner?’

It is an ironic jab, considering how pail and skinny Rui looks, once he takes a seat beside his bed and Tsukasa can see him better under the gleam of moonlight. There is a deep crease of worry and anguish in the corners of his eyes, and his hand shakes little, trying to steady itself by gripping a book with scathes Rui keeps in his lap.

Tsukasa takes the hand and squeezes it with a lot of force. It makes Rui visibly less agitated, and they smile at each other, suddenly too happy to speak.

Tsukasa hasn’t noticed until now how much he missed Rui, and it is so alien to him. This is the first time ever too - they were always together, or nearby, or chatting over the phone - impossible to take apart.

He sincerely hopes this is the last time he feels this way.

‘You should take a look,' Rui hops onto the bed with him, pushing Tsukasa aside with careful and very gentle movements, opens his sketchbook in front of them, skimming through the pages, ‘I came here to show you these’

The pages in front of him are filled to the brim with drawings of various mechanic parts which belong to leg prosthetics. There are also notes scribbled in very tiny handwriting - all over the blank spaces, some parts underlined and highlighted, difficult terms and numbers all over the place. He gets the idea pretty quickly.

‘You are making them for me yourself. From scratch.’

‘Not exactly,' Rui pauses, oblivious to how shaken Tenma's voice sounds, ‘It turns out the pre-maid stuff is very expensive. Like, crazy expensive, especially those made for a vast variety of movements. So I talked to your mom and told her to buy the basic one and give me the rest of the money raised to buy materials and parts separately. This way I can customize it for your needs, you know? We need you to perform on the stage, and that is not an easy demand for the general market.’

‘Money raised?’

‘Your family gathered some,’ Rui comments off-handedly, looking for the most up-to-date versions he wants to show Tsukasa, ‘Girls from More More Jump held a charity event, and some would give a part of their savings just to help out. Nene sold her PlayStation. I saw Emu,’ Rui pauses, angered by the memory, ‘She begged her brothers, you know? I wish I never saw her so distressed. Those bastards would not listen to her even now, after everything we’ve done for them.'

Tsukasa takes a breath in, trying to maintain his composure, ‘And you?’

‘Blackmailed them.’ Rui shrugs, ‘We have a long record of them using underaged kids to perform and gain both money and commercial benefits this way for how long? Three years at least? They never even paid us, not regularly. Not something you want your ‘perfect and progressive’ company to be associated with, right? The dumb-haircut looked like he wanted to punch me, but smart-glasses agreed to make a donation pretty fast and get some off-shore contacts for us as well.’

‘That was…a lot, Rui.’

‘I know,’ he sighs, ‘I was too pissed to handle them. Not after everything, not after thinking you…’

Rui shakes his head and smiles at his drawings, finally ready to show him what he's been looking for. Yet, before doing so, he hurriedly adds, ‘I’ve heard that the mother of the victim wanted to make an input too, but your mom refused. Not out of spite, it's just the lady is a single mother. I guess, she imagined she’d need them more.'

‘I agree.'

‘Of course, you agree.’

Rui turns to him with an adoring gleam and his eyes, but he is instantly frozen because Tsukasa is pushing his face into his palms, all red and shaking, crying so silently, one wouldn’t be able to tell he’s upset if they weren't looking his way.

It is just too much. All of it is too much, and he is so unbelievably relieved.

After convincing himself he’d be able to live without legs, after refusing to feel the loss and looking at the situation from various angles, trying to see the bright sides he was sure he was ready for anything. But now he finally sees Rui and hears him bring great, amazing news and share just how much more people around them are willing to do and sacrifice for him, and Tsukasa just kinda feels…

It is a suffocating and scary type of happiness, but Rui holds him through it, and it passes, leaving only deep and genuine gratefulness behind.

He has a lot of people to thank. He cannot wait.

For now, though, he clarifies, unbelieving, ‘Nene sold that? Her PlayStation?’

‘I know,’ Rui laughs and says, ‘Please never bring this up. She’ll be very embarrassed.’ He thinks a little and adds, ‘Never apologize for it either, she’ll kick you, no matter how disabled you might be.’

‘I've figured,’ Tsukasa knows Nene long enough, he’ll find another way to thank her, ‘How’s Emu?’

‘She visited you, did she not?’

‘Yes, but,’ he makes a point, ‘How is she?’

Rui seems to catch up to the meaning behind his words, ‘She was way worse. Barely talked. She’s much better now, I think,’ the boy smiles, ‘Seeing you made it way easier for her. She came to me after her last visit to ask about these,’ he points at the sketches, ‘We do need to discuss them.'

After a short run-down a few options are shown to him. Tsukasa once again bums at Rui’s side, thankful, and asks with a very serious expression on his face, ‘Can you make them shoot something from my knees? Maybe confetti or small rockets?’

Rui gapes at him.

Tsukasa stares, obviously not joking, but Rui laughs, hard and a little lost, as if he sees Tsukasa for the first time in his life.

‘I really,' he chokes and there’s this specific emotion in his eyes he shares with Tsukasa when they are alone, ‘Oh, I really, really like you. I love you, even.’

It’s not new or grand - they’d shared this before. Still, Tsukasa cannot contain his giddiness after hearing it, no matter how many times.

‘But of course, I am a star, after all,’ the hand in his tugs a little, but he ignores the unspoken jab, ‘I would say the same, but I don’t see the explosive nature of my knees being put into consideration, and it makes me doubt your devotion, Rui.'

‘I can make them harmful. Like, they would pop out like this and hit the knees of someone who’s standing in front of you,’ Rui catches on immediately, admittedly as happy to be able to joke like this with Tsukasa again, ‘Someone with dark hair, sour attitude, and Emu’s family name, for example.’

They both know these are only half-jokes, and they might actually do it at some point - honestly, it makes it so much funnier.

‘That is just mean,’ Tsukasa pushes the book in Rui’s direction, ‘Write it down.’

Rui does, in fact, write it down. He also says, ‘I should’ve been here from the very beginning. I’m sorry I was a coward,’ and there’s too much self-loathing in his tone for Tsukasa’s liking.

‘You did not miss anything pretty.’

‘I love your “ugly” too.’

Tsukasa thinks this guy is too far gone for his own good. So is he - his heart jumps at the confession, and he rests his head on top of Rui’s shoulder, saying, ‘Thank you.’

It is a rather big "thank you", he's grateful for many things. There is also forgiveness in it, which he knows Rui needs much more than he shows, and Tsukasa can provide (even though he really does not hold it against him).

They fall asleep like that - discussing his future legs and making questionable suggestions, so much like they used to and it is so comforting, that this time his eyes close not out of exhaustion, but out of a feeling too warm and abstract to describe.

He dreams of a giant Rui octopus giving him legs in exchange for his hand in marriage.

That is too far from the original story, but he doesn’t mind; who needs the stupid prince charming?

That guy was always a bit annoying anyway.