Archive of Our Own

—

Natasha always volunteered to fly the quinjet. Usually, you or Yelena would object or offer to fly, but now you were counting on her being alone in the cockpit. Luckily, she didn’t break her routine for this trip; she just immediately went and closed herself off, leaving you to pace the back of the quinjet; Jeff and Yelena both strapped in and watching your every move. It also meant you could talk to Yelena about the real reason you were flying to Russia.

“You’ve got it in your bag?” you asked for the third time in the 30 minutes of the flight.

“Of course.” 

“And Jeff’s suit?” 

“Yes, Y/N. It is still in my bag.”

“And your spa trip with Nat and Melina is booked?”

“No, they cancelled in the two minutes since you last asked.”

“What-?!”

“-I’m kidding. Yes, it’s booked! Like my mother would ever let them cancel on us,” Yelena scoffed.

“I just want to be safe. This trip has to go according to plan, which means being alone with Alexei.”

Yelena shuddered, “what horrible things you go through for love. Good luck with that. Hope you don’t die.”

“Yeah, I really hope so too.” You shook yourself down to calm your nervous energy. Jeff watched curiously, copying your movement and wobbling all his limbs. “Yeah, we’ll be fine, right Jeff? It’ll all be good.”

"Just relax, Y/N."

—

Natasha’s first reaction to Jeff had left you confused. Holding the trembling bundle of land shark, you couldn’t fathom any reaction less than pure, unfiltered joy, but your girlfriend hadn’t even wanted to take Jeff in. 

Compared to her family, however, you would take Natasha’s reaction.

Yelena’s first meeting with the land shark terrified Jeff more than any horror movie he had watched; even after you calmed him down, it took months for him to overcome the wariness of his aunt. And now Natasha’s father seemed ready to take his best shot at terrorising your son… in a very literal sense.

Jeff had stayed on the quinjet with Natasha as she completed all the landing checks, but she encouraged you and Yelena to greet her parents in the meantime. 

You approached the couple, letting the woman pull you into a hug before holding your hand out for the bearded man. You knew their preferred method of greeting by now. “Melina, Alexei, it’s lovely to see you again!” 

A flurry of fur came bolting out of the door, leading Yelena to exclaim: “Fanny!” Her dog couldn’t control her excitement, almost tackling her owner to the ground. 

“That’s a strong hand grip, Y/N. You’ve improved since last time!” Alexei laughed, ignoring his daughter’s decision to greet her dog before him.

“I have to impress my girlfriend’s father! I prepare just for the handshake!” you joked back. While your focus was on Alexei, you noticed Melina and Yelena behind him, the younger widow whispering something to her mother while pointedly looking at you.

Melina approached you a few seconds later, lightly pushing past her husband. “Y/N, could I talk to you inside?”

“Mhm,” you nodded, your voice somehow betraying your nerves with just a hum. “That would be great.”

You followed when Melina led the way inside. Yelena shot a thumbs up as you passed; you smiled back. This would be okay. The plan would work.

—

Jeff knew he was somewhere new. And he loved to be somewhere new; there were places to explore, foods to try, and friends to meet. On top of that, Yelena had promised Jeff that her dog Fanny would be at this new place, which meant a definite playing partner; the land shark and the dog could run together all day long.

Yet you had made Jeff wait. While you went to meet whoever was outside, you asked him to keep Natasha company until she had finished her piloting tasks. 

Jeff would do that. Ever since he discovered your secret, he had vowed to be well-behaved on the trip; you were stressed enough, and he didn’t want to make it worse for you. Admittedly, Jeff had tried to tell Natasha the secret as soon as he found out, not entirely understanding the meaning of ‘secret’. Jeff’s energetic mrrrs meant nothing to Natasha, luckily. Her suspicions were only raised by your panic and speed in dragging Jeff away.

Finally, the Black Widow finished her tasks. “You ready to meet my parents, Jeff?”

Jeff nodded, even if he hadn’t really known he was doing that and so hadn’t prepared. Natasha and Yelena were kind to him; how bad could their parents be?

—

Alexei had suddenly been left alone. Yelena was playing with her dog, and Melina had taken Y/N to talk privately for some reason, which left Alexei to bide his time until Natasha disembarked the plane.

Natasha made good company, so Alexei beamed immediately upon seeing her. He even began walking to greet her until he saw her companion - a round shark with legs; the creature was small but had ample flesh to it, possibly enough to feed the whole family.

Silently and slowly, as he didn’t know the behaviour of this land shark, Alexei shuffled to his gun rack and pulled out his finest hunting rifle. “Very considerate of Natasha to allow me to hunt it,” he whispered to nobody but himself. 

Jeff was oblivious to the threat. After spending hours strapped into a plane seat, he couldn’t wait to stretch his legs in the surrounding fields, immediately dashing off into the grass.

Alexei lined Jeff up in his rifle sights. Jeff had an eye on the butterfly circling his head. He flopped to sit on the ground and stretched his nose to greet the butterfly. When it dodged his head, Jeff held an arm up to try to tap it.

“Alexei!” 

The yell broke the soldier out of his focus; he scowled, turning to see his daughter stalking towards him. 

“Natasha, you brought a shark for me to hunt, let me hunt it.”

“That is my pet land shark, Jeff. He is not for hunting.”

Jeff was giggling at the butterfly by this point; he’d rolled onto his back just so the insect could never be out of his line of sight. Yelena sighed. “I wish he was this oblivious when I met him. You mention eating shark in private and become the bad guy, but aim a rifle at him; he does not notice.”

With that, Yelena went back to stroking Fanny, Jeff went back to following the butterfly, and Nat began to wrestle the rifle from her father. Even when a shot was accidentally fired in the fight, Jeff seemed to miss it completely; all he knew was that something scared his butterfly friend away, and he needed a new friend, so he trotted over to see Fanny.

Jeff’s move brought a rush of action from the spy family. Alexei remained unrelenting, as did Natasha in her move against him. Yelena suddenly noticed her dog would be in danger by proximity, so she leapt to join her sister, and you and Melina ran outside to witness it all, brought out by the gunshot. 

“Oh, so you’ll protect your dog but not your nephew?” Natasha asked

“I thought you had it handled!”

“But that wasn’t enough when Fanny was concerned?”

“Shut up, sestra. I’m helping you now, yes?”

With everyone’s effort, Alexei was subdued; his weapon was removed, and Natasha explained how Jeff came into your lives as a friend, not food.

Moments stretched into eternity as Alexei and Melina stared between the two of you and Jeff, all sitting and awaiting their judgement. Except for Jeff, he still hadn’t noticed.

“You apologise to the shark.” Melina decided at last. “And I take him to see the pigs; I think he will like them.”

You called for your land shark, and finally, Jeff looked over, his tongue lolling out of his mouth. He tilted his head, wondering why everyone was gathered and watching him, but then Jeff shrugged; as long as he got attention… and had he heard mention of pigs? He liked pigs.

—

“You’re sure it’s okay that we’re leaving you alone?” Natasha whispered to you midway through your hug goodbye.

“I’m sure; you enjoy yourself with Melina and Yelena. Alexei and I can entertain ourselves.”

Natasha raised an eyebrow but nodded nonetheless. “Yeah, well, um… good luck, love. Call me if he’s too much?”

“I promise he won’t be. You go enjoy your day out… and look after Jeff!”

Jeff would be very well looked after. He bounded around the spa happily, watching curiously as the three women sat still. The attendants talked with Jeff as they painted the nails of the three women, laughing as he explored all the machines and set-ups in the room. 

“Do you want me to paint your nails too?” Jeff shook his head vehemently, backing quickly away from the lines of nail polish. He didn’t have nails as far as he was aware, so where would they try to put it? All Jeff could imagine was painted teeth, which would contaminate his food. He didn’t want that.

As he backed up, Jeff crashed into a tank which, thankfully, did not budge. It seemed to be a box of just water on the floor, but upon closer inspection, Jeff noticed some small black fish swimming in it. 

“Mrrr!”

Natasha laughed at the sight of Jeff through the tank. It had enlarged his features; his eyes especially looked enormous and shimmered with the water. 

“Mrrr.” He huffed again. He remembered Natasha didn’t understand him this time, so he pointed at the tank to clarify his point.

“Yes, there are fish.” Natasha hesitantly told him. She exhaled when Jeff nodded, glad to have guessed his speech correctly. It really was easier having you around. “How about you put a finger in?” 

“Careful that they don’t bite,” Melina teased; she knew exactly what would happen to Jeff, but she was fond of letting him discover it himself. The scientific way. 

All eyes in the room were on the land shark as he submerged a hand; they watched as the fish swam up in a cluster to inspect the hand. And then they watched as the fish began to nibble at Jeff, laughing when the shark sprung back and growled at the tank. 

“Garra rufa,” Melina explained, “they will nibble dead skin off your feet.”

“Mrrr,” Jeff pouted. He preferred to bite the fish, not the other way around. 

—

Yelena pulled her sister into the house upon their return before Natasha could go searching for you. Meanwhile, Melina walked Jeff around to the back garden, where you and Alexei had set up a patio during their absence. Fairy lights and candles illuminated the space, you had donned a suit, and Alexei had arranged an area out of sight where Natasha’s family could hide and watch. 

“It’s happening then?” Melina asked, looking to her husband.

“I support it,” he agreed, “Y/N is very respectable for our Natasha.”

The woman turned to you next. You had pulled the suit shirt and jacket over Jeff, but your trembling fingers struggled to affix the bow tie correctly. “Let me.” She stepped in to finish the job, praising Jeff for how smart he looked, then adjusted your outfit. “It will be a pleasure to have you in our family. Officially.”

“You think she’ll say yes?”

“I know she will. She looks at you with all the adoration in the world, and you already have a child together-” Melina pointed down at Jeff, who looked up at you in return. “-Just be brave; you know you have our support.”

With that, she and Alexei took their hiding spots just as Yelena guided Natasha around the corner and trailed off to join her parents. 

Natasha was breathtaking; Yelena had clearly put more effort into the makeover than you had put into getting Jeff ready. All the lines you had rehearsed went out the window the second you saw her; nothing you had scripted could do justice to the woman in front of you. 

“Is this what I think it is?” Natasha broke the silence you hadn’t intended to let fall.

Words were still a struggle for you at the moment, so you nodded until you were ready. Natasha waited patiently, her kind smile encouraging you to continue. “I’d hope you’ve worked it out by now,” you joked, “you’re meant to be the world’s best spy.”

“Um, but I’ll do it properly now… Natasha, you have been the best partner I could ever ask for, endlessly supportive of every stupid thing I have done; when I failed to repair my mission earpiece, taking in Jeff, buying the Blahaj, learning I could talk to animals. You’ve been there for all of it. I love you and everything that comes with that, I love our land shark, I love your family - who are watching right now and who did help me plan this - I love all of you, and I want to prove that I’ll always be here with you, officially. So-”

You dropped to one knee, holding a hand out to Jeff. Unfortunately, he was too transfixed in watching Natasha’s reaction to remember his job. “Jeff.” He jolted to attention, depositing the ring box in your hand before sitting beside you. 

“-marry me?”

“Yes. Of course, yes.”

You rushed up to kiss her, thankful for her quick reply, only to be interrupted by a loud squeal. While you embraced your -now- fiancee, the both of you looked down to the source, your land shark. Jeff was running in circles like a dog chasing its tail; he soon switched to cuddling into your and Natasha’s legs before finally taking off to expose the hiding place of Natasha’s family.

“Do you think he wanted us to be a family?” Natasha grinned

“Yeah-” you smiled back, “maybe just a bit.”

She leaned in to kiss you again, and this time nobody would stop you. You blocked out Jeff’s screaming and the congratulations of Natasha’s family. 

For this moment, it was just you and the woman you loved.