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“Ji, I’m going to leave now,”
Jihoon fluttered his eyes open at the sound of the nasally voice, his body still snuggled under the fluffy blanket, mind still hazy with sleep. It was way too early—the sounds of light breaths cutting through the silence of the night and the stillness in the air around.
He smiled, when he came face to face with his beloved, hovering above his previously sleeping form, a dazzling smile that sparkled throughout the dark room plastered on his lips.
The man placed down his bag that was hanging off his shoulder on his empty spot on the bed, proceeding to cage Jihoon’s head between his hands and leaning in to place a soft peck on his lips, the tips of his blonde locks brushing Jihoon’s eyes ever so slightly
“I’ll be back really late so don’t wait up alright,” he continued, as he brought up a hand to caress the younger’s cheek.
Even after a decade of dating, every touch, kiss, embrace still made Jihoon go giddy— butterflies fluttering in his stomach—as if he were still the reckless teenager that was suffocating within the green walls of their run down training company. Now, when they had reached the prime of their lives, the love only got stronger, the invisible string that connected their hearts together unbreakable.
Under Soonyoung’s intense gaze—his sharp features highlighted by the moonlight that spilled into their shared bedroom, Jihoon felt so safe, so protected and so loved, it drove him crazy, delirious even.
“You know I'll do it anyway, Youngie-ah.” Jihoon said, voice still hoarse from deep slumber, interlocking his fingers with the ones on his cheeks. “Anyway, Uju’s been bugging me to get him that storybook his teacher read to him the other day, so I’ll probably stop by the bookstore later. Do you happen to need anything?”
Soonyoung’s eyes softened at the mention of their dearest son, their universe.
“I don’t, honey. Have fun with him okay? I feel really bad for not being home these days. Once my solo’s over, I’ll make sure to clear the weekend for us.” Soonyoung replied, heaving a heavy sigh as he wrapped his arms around Jihoon.
When Soonyoung got the news that he had been given the permission to go forth with his solo debut, he’d screamed, so loud, that his lover and son—startled, accidentally knocked over a vase. It was about time really, that Soonyoung delved into the world of producing his own tracks, especially after spending years watching and admiring how Jihoon effortlessly created an incredibly beautiful discography for Seventeen.
Unfortunately, with every opportunity comes a cost, and for Soonyoung, that came in the form of dark circles under his eyes and precious time away from his family.
It wasn’t that he’d never experienced it before, oh hell, was he no stranger to the blotches of purple and blue on his knees from dancing his heart out till 4am, but what made it different was how independent he’d had to be these past months. For more than half his life, he’d had Jihoon, his pillar, by his side, every step of the way but for his solo project, it was all just Soonyoung. Even though the former had produced the track for him, Soonyoung had been so busy that he’d rarely have the time to speak to his boyfriend for anything other than work,
On top of that, he’d barely interacted with Uju, save for all the facetimes they did during his quick breaks.
After hours of tirelessly dancing and singing, Soonyoung would rush home despite the strain in his thighs and arms, hoping to properly speak to his son and hold him close. But no matter how hard he tried, he’d always reach home to find Uju already fast asleep, cuddled next to Jihoon who’s on his phone waiting for him.
(“I told you not to wait up,” Soonyoung whines every time, secretly grateful for his stubborn lover.
Jihoon just grins ear to ear, eyes turning into tiny crescents as he clings onto Soonyoung’s side like a koala, whispering, “Uju wanted to let you know that he’s really proud of you,”
Soonyoung’s heart can help but swell.)
“Don’t worry, Youngie. Just focus on practice today okay? Our Uju’s a strong and understanding boy, you know what he told me the other day?” Jihoon pulls him even closer, intoxicated by his lover's warm vanilla scent that smelled so much like home.
“He said that we don’t need to beat ourselves up for not being there all the time because our jobs make the big universe happy which in turn makes our baby universe even happier.”
Soonyoung couldn’t help but sniffle, a single tear trickled down his cheek. How did they get this lucky?
Being both idols and guardians, Jihoon and Soonyoung would always have to struggle with the lack of time with Uju. From the unusual filming times to the endless rounds of perfecting choreography, they had to make do with asking Soonyoung’s aunt to babysit Uju on the days that were especially busy.
But of course, leave it to their 7 year old son to be too mature for his age. Maybe, it was because of how much of a bookworm he was—reading at least 2 new books a week (Soonyoung needs to remember to thank Wonwoo tenfold for constantly reading to his son) or maybe, it was just the fact that he was forced to come to terms with the fact that Jihoon and Soonyoung weren’t actually his parents and his birth mother was no longer in this world, at such a young age.
(“He was forced to grow up the moment she died,” Wonwoo told them after having a heart to heart talk with Uju during one of their reading sessions and as harsh as it was, the sad truth.)
With his own eyes turning glassy, Jihoon kissed Soonyoung right on his lips. The saltiness of their hot tears mixed with dribble lingering on their tongue, the feeling of Soonyoung’s chapped lips against Jihoon’s well moisturised ones. The way Jihoon rests his arms on Soonyoung’s neck while the latter has his arms wrapped around his waist.
Soonyoung just gets reminded everyday that he was the luckiest man alive.
“Nothing in this world can ever make me happier than the both of you,” Soonyoung whispered, placing a last smooch on Jihoon's lips as he grabbed his bag beside him. “I love you baby,”
Despite the reluctance, Jihoon let go of Soonyoung, and looked at him in adoration.
“Love you too, Youngie,” replied before tucking himself back into the sheets, missing the warmth of his lover, hearing the door click softly as he closed his eyes.
Nothing makes me happier than the both of you, too.
~
Just before he left the house, Soonyoung slowly twisted the knob of the brown door with the words “welcome to the universe” painted in cursive right smack in the middle.
True to his name, the love Uju had for the universe could be compared to Soonyoung’s love for tigers, (okay, not really, Soonyoung’s obsession was pretty intense) so Soonyoung and Jihoon made it a point to indulge in their son's interest by giving him a space themed room.
One day when Uju was at his friend’s sleepover, with the help of the other members, they painted the plain white walls hues of blue, purple and black with tiny white stars, planets and spaceships all around. They hung stars on the ceiling, that would glow when the sky turned dark outside. Somehow, they’d also found a spaceship bed frame which Jihoon was initially against on getting because apparently, ‘He’s not gonna fit it in a few years time’ and to that Soonyoung replied, sporting those heart eyes that Jihoon couldn’t resist, ‘We can always throw it out and get a new one, pretty pwease,’ and of course, Jihoon was too whipped to say no to that.
The look on Uju’s face when he walked into the room the next day was priceless, the memory of it would always warm Soonyoung’s heart.
They even took a picture of it and framed it in the living room because it was just too precious not to forget. The way his eyes enlarged, mouth agape, looking back and forth at the room and the members, running towards all 13 of them, giving them a tight squeeze and kiss to the cheek.
So as Soonyoung stepped into the room, he grinned at how lucky he was to have the whole universe packaged into the boy who was currently sleeping soundly, a trail of drool running down his cheek. He crouched beside the sleeping boy and ran his hand through his dark brown locks and pressed a quick kiss onto his forehead, making the young boy stir and speaking some gibberish. Soonyoung just scrunched his nose and giggled at his son’s antiques.
After a few minutes, Soonyoung looked at the wall clock and sighed,
It’s time to go
“I’ve got a few more weeks and then we'll do whatever you want okay sweetheart? I love you so much,” Soonyoung cooed, before placing a final kiss onto his forehead and exiting the room.
When he’s out the house, the night breeze ruffling his hair, life absent from the dark empty streets, Soonyoung puts on his tiger eyes and lets the passion run through his veins.
Let’s go
Another day of dawn to dusk schedules, another day in his element.
Time to crush it
~
/2 weeks later/
Some would believe that the house without the overly hyper Kwon Soonyoung would be silent, calm for that matter.
Well, they’re wrong.
When you have a child who’s picked up one too many traits from the said self-proclaimed tiger, the house would never be absent of noise and life.
“Appa, the prince wanted to run away from the palace so he threw his crown away and grabbed his cat and ran into the forest and he lost his shoe on the way without realising! I can't believe he was foolish enough to lose his shoe! How does one-”
“Sweetie, I’ve told you, maybe the prince was just clumsy, You’ve lost your shoe before right?” Jihoon chuckled, as he eyed his son on the couch, who’d been ranting about the new book he was reading, for the nth time.
Uju had always been a bright kid, ironic for a child with such a horrid past. Even after witnessing his mother passing and thereafter, being put under the legal care of his uncle Jihoon, who’d cried for days on end upon hearing the tragic news of his own sister's passing, the positivity that he radiated since birth never diminished.
Every time Jihoon looked into Uju’s eyes, he could see happiness, joy, and he could even see the similarities of the people he had held close to his heart;
First, his beloved Kwon Soonyoung. Growing up being raised by not only Jihoon but Soonyoung too, the latter’s traits started passing off on Uju. It was ironic really, how Jihoon and Uju shared the same blood yet Uju practically mirrored Soonyoung’s personality instead. From the way they would vibrate in excitement at something they were passionate about, to the way they would go shy when they meet new people but go absolutely crazy with the people they knew. But most importantly, they both loved their loved ones so intensely, at this point, Uju and Soonyoung could both make up Jihoon’s protection squad because man, were they protective (reference to the time Jihoon got sent a bunch of hate comments and the both of them were out with nerf guns in no time at all).
Next, his dear sister, the sweet girl with so many hopes and dreams that had shattered within a heartbeat after a tragic hit and run. She was just as good a sister as she was a mother, spoiling Uju and Jihoon with all the love her beautiful heart could give to them. So now, on days when Jihoon misses her just a little bit more than usual, he’d hold Uju close, listening to this healthy thumping heartbeat just like he would when he was younger, snuggled in the arms of his strong protective sister. It felt like she was still with him, even if it were for only that mere moment.
Uju was truly a gift sent from the angels above and Jihoon couldn’t help but think that his sister was one of them.
“But Appa, the shoe fell when Dad was carrying me, so it wasn’t my fault,” Uju pouted, as if he’d been wrongly accused of a crime.
Jihoon sighed, amused at his son’s antics, as he made his way to the couch, plopping himself next to the young boy giving him a tight squeeze.
“See? Maybe it wasn’t the prince’s fault,” Jihoon pinched Uju’s scrunched up nose, relaxing into Jihoon’s hug.
“Speaking of your dad, you wanna visit him today? He’s filming his music video, so we can probably pop by in the night, if your not tired,”
The boy in his arms shot up, eyes sparkling at the mention of Soonyoung, suddenly hanging upside down off the couch—his two hands on the ground and his legs sprawled out.
“Please appa, I wanna see dad so bad! I’ll get to see him hanging like a spider, like this right?” Uju squealed as blood rushed to his head.
“Also can we make a cake for dad, he loves cake,”
Jihoon could almost hear the boy smirk.
What have I raised
He rolled his eyes and carried Uju by the legs, upside down.
“I know you're saying that just because you're craving cake right, you rascal,” he joked before dropping the laughing boy back on the couch.
The culprit just continued giggling, holding his chest that was heaving with excitement.
“But I guess that sounds like a good idea, your dad probably needs something sweet to energise him,”
“Appa, dad’s gonna get diabetes when he sees us,”
(Jihoon doesn’t want to know where the child learned what diabetes was but it was highly likely from Jeonghan)
~
Let’s just say baking in the Kwon-Lee household was a very chaotic ordeal. Everything started organised, with Jihoon grabbing all the ingredients from the top shelf and Uju weighing each of them to their precise measurements. But after a while, they were both dusted with flour, cake batter flying out from the mixing bowl, the countertop now white instead of its original black colour. But either way, they’d managed to bake a decent vanilla cake, white frosting covering the slightly charred cake sheet and a failed attempt to ice a spider on the top, fit for an overworked and stressed out kpop idol. Jihoon particularly enjoyed watching his son so invested into making the cake, with his tongue sticking out in concentration as he lathered a thick layer of cream around the cake and how he could see droplets of sweat trickling down his face from mixing so vigorously (what a Kwon Soonyoung thing to do)
They both packaged it nicely into a box and placed it in the fridge, ready for consumption when they come back later. Grabbing two hoodies from the basket of clean clothes in the living room, Jihoon dressed the both of them up, remembering to brush both their hair that were close to looking like a bird's nest.
As they reached the front door, Jihoon stared at the wall clock,
9pm, Uju’s bedtime
“Sweetie, you sure you’re not tired? We could always see him another day,” Jihoon cooed, feeling bad for his son as he tied his shoelaces
“No! I can stay awake, I’m a big boy now!” Uju retorted, face determined, despite the slight droop of his eyelids, “But appa, if I do fall asleep and don’t wake up, I want dad to at least see the cake before he sleeps okay?”
Jihoon’s eyes curled at the tips, placing a hand on Uju’s cheek, “You’re so thoughtful Uju. I’ll even make sure he eats a slice, alright?”
Uju just nods in reply, holding his arms out for Jihoon to carry him, who does lift him up, placing him on his side, the car keys jingling in his free hand.
“Now, let’s go see your dad,”
“Appa, i’m so excited to see him in action,”
Me too, honey
~
As Jihoon pulled up into the carpark of the filming site, he laughed, seeing his boy staring out the window in awe at the liveliness of the set from the car window, eyes trailing the stylists and cameraman hustling underneath the white tent.
“Earth to Uju, time to open the door, sweetie,” Jihoon said as he turned off the gas.
They both got out of the car, Uju’s tiny fingers slipping between Jihoon’s, his short legs striding forward as fast as they possibly could, canines peering from his wide smile. Truth be told, even though it wasn’t shown, Jihoon was just as excited, if not even more—the feverish anticipation of seeing Soonyoung again.
Stepping inside, they had to manoeuvre their way through the crowd, trying to avoid walking into various clothes racks while darting around in search of a tall blonde man. They even bumped into a few familiar faces, their manager, Jihoon’s personal stylist and his fellow producer, who all just cooed the moment they saw Uju, exchanging hi-fives and fist bumps, as they directed the duo to the main set.
Before Jihoon could register what was happening, his grip on Uju loosened as the boy broke out into a run.
Sitting on a tiny stool with his eyes fixated on the monitor in front of him, silver hair slicked back to show his prominent forehead, a towel pressed against his cheek to absorb the balls of sweat dripping down his face, lips painted a rosy pink colour—the man of his dreams.
“Dad!” the young boy squealed, still running towards the man.
“Uju?” Soonyoung blurted, mouth agape in shock.
He immediately dropped everything in his hands, meeting Uju in the middle, lifting the boy into his arms and pressing tiny kisses onto his face.
The scene was so endearing in Jihoon’s eyes, a hearty laugh left his lips. After weeks of hearing Uju call out for his dad in his sleep and catching him peeking onto Jihoon’s social media account to see updates on Soonyoung, witnessing the pure joy on his face and the way Soonyoung beamed in happiness was truly a gift in itself.
He missed this,
His family together.
In a trance, Jihoon failed to process Soonyoung’s arm that snaked behind his tiny waist, pulling him straight into his sturdy chest, tucking his head snugly between his neck and shoulder.
“What are my two angels doing here today?” Soonyoung grinned, placing light pecks on the top of their heads.
“To see you dance, dad!” The boy in Soonyoung’s arms exclaimed, looking at him with his ever anticipating eyes, bouncing up and down.
The arm around the both of them tightened, the three of them now in their own bubble, in their own world that no one could invade. The sound of the hurried footsteps around them fading into white noise as they clung into each other, basking in the warmth that they’d been missing for weeks.
Nothing could compare to Soonyoung’s hugs and kisses, no one could come close to giving as much love as he does to them both.
As much as they wished that they could stay like that forever, the chatter around them began to escalate and the spotlights shone even brighter, forcing their little reunion to come to an end, with Soonyoung giving them a final kiss, placing Uju back onto his feet.
“Uju, it’s way past your bedtime, you don’t have to stay if you're too sleepy, alright,” Soonyoung cooed, as he ruffled Uju’s hair.
“Dad, I came to watch you. Of course I'll stay awake.” Uju proclaimed while accidentally letting out a yawn.
Soonyoung raised an eyebrow at Jihoon, letting out a soft giggle. He brought his hand that was previously on the latters back to caress his cheek, the soft touch of fingertips stroking across the apples of the younger’s cheek.
“Hoshi, you’re up in 5,” a loud voice through the mic called out.
“See y'all later, my loves.”
~
Just as he predicted, the boy fell asleep 10 minutes into the actual filming.
Uju was up and about for a good 5 minutes, copying Soonyoung’s dance moves until his movements started to slow down, going on to crawl onto Jihoon’s lap, heavy eyes still focused on his dad. It wasn’t until Jihoon heard the boy’s soft snores that he knew Uju was out for the day. Chuckling, Jihoon covered his son with his fleece jacket, stroking his son’s hair, as he continued being entranced by his lover that was passionately dancing for the cameras that were rolling in front of him.
For the years that they’ve known each other, Jihoon has never gotten tired of Soonyoung’s game face—the slight raise of his right brow, a playful smirk, the sparkle in his eyes, his lips that glistened from occasionally brushing his tongue against them. The power, grace and charisma Soonyoung exuded wasn’t healthy for Jihoon’s heart— judging by the way it raced every time they made eye contact.
In the moment, when Soonyoung belts out the lyrics and dances to the song they worked on together, Jihoon’s heart melts knowing that behind every one of Soonyoung’s captivating gazes, the only image that ran through Hoshi’s head was of Jihoon himself. The man said it himself, randomly one day when they were hard at work in the studio (“When I’m performing, I constantly think of how to impress you, so that’s why I always look hot on stage,”) Jihoon doesn’t admit it but he loved being the center of Soonyoung’s attention.
Eyes unwavered, Jihoon focused on Soonyoung the whole way despite the cramp in his thigh from where Uju slept, til it was finally an hour later when the whole studio broke out in loud claps and their never ending ‘thank you’s.
Within no time, the star changed out from his dazzling costume into his casual white tee and grey sweatpants, bare faced, white hair tousled, striding towards the both of them.
“The kid fell asleep,” Soonyoung laughed, picking up the sleeping boy from Jihoon’s lap, holding him over his shoulder.
“He was out after your second take” Jihoon stood up, joining him in the giggles, “By the way, you did so well today. I was definitely not falling for you again.."
“You definitely were, I’m irresistible,” his lover unapologetically replied, as he slid his free hand into Jihoon’s back pocket, fishing out a set of keys, “I’m driving, you look beat.”
“I was going to drive, but if you insist,” Jihoon smiled cheekily, linking his arms with Soonyoung’s and leaning into his shoulder as they walked towards the car, contented with just holding each other close.
~
“Babe, I’m off work tomorrow, should we go to the park? You told me the other day that Uju wanted to have a picnic,”
“Mhm, he watched some cartoons and begged me to bring him on one. You don’t have to if you’re too exhausted. I know you’ve haven’t had a good rest in a while,” Jihoon reassured as he ruffled the towel in Soonyoung’s wet hair.
“Doesn’t matter, spending time with the both of you is more important to me,” Soonyoung looked up from his spot on the floor, seated between Jihoon’s legs that were dangling off the couch.
Jihoon locked his arms around Soonyoung’s shoulders, pressing his head in the crook of his neck, sneaking a chaste kiss onto his cheek. Even though he could do with a bit more self care, no matter how busy Soonyoung got, he’d always prioritise his family. The lengths Soonyoung would go just to make Jihoon and Uju happy just never failed to amaze them. Jihoon’s sure that if he’d asked Soonyoung to climb a mountain he’d do it.
“Your health is important to me though, so think about it okay? Also wait, I can’t believe I almost forgot!” Jihoon slapped his forehead, making a beeline to the kitchen, reaching out for the cake he and Uju so diligently made earlier.
Soonyoung eyed him curiously as Jihoon sat down in front of him, opening the white box carefully, revealing the spider themed cake to his lover.
As predicted, the man in front of him glowed in happiness, shaking excitedly as he swiped off a finger of cream, bringing it to his lips.
“Did y'all make this? I’m so touched!” Soonyoung beamed, smacking his lips onto Jihoon’s.
“It was Uju’s idea, he really wanted to show it to you before you slept,” Jihoon explained, joy bubbling up inside him, tasting the sweet cream on his lips.
Soonyoung brought Jihoon into his arms, snuggling into his side and breathing in the comforting scent of his lavender scented sweater, “Baby, you know, I was really tired today, I’d made so many mistakes the director almost wanted to reschedule. But after seeing the both of you there. I felt this energy surge through me and I really realised how lucky I am to be blessed with the both of you in my life,”
Truly, the connection they shared could never be broken, the bond between Soonyoung and Jihoon only made stronger by the addition of their little kiddo. The happiness that ran through his veins at the mere sight of his boyfriend and son could make him do wonders.
They were his comfort, his everything.
“Youngie, I’m even more lucky to have you in my life, I love you so much,”
Nothing in this world could break them apart.
“Love you too, Hoonie,”
Absolutely nothing.