Archive of Our Own

    If we were going to talk about anything, Reki would most likely talk about the time.

   Yes, the time.

   tick-tock tick-tock

   Time was one of the most important things in the world that could decide how something would go. It never stopped. It never adjusted for you.

   You chase it.

   And if you want, you could move along with it. You were going to adjust to be with it.

   That was why Reki never wasted the time he had. He practiced, practiced, studied, slept, and practiced again until he got tired.

   "Reki!"

   Reki blinked when he heard someone calling him. That's just when he realized he was spacing out again.

   "Langa?" His brows furrowed. "What are you doing here?"

   Reki had been in the library for a few minutes—no, hours! He'd been here for almost three hours. Well, it's not like he hated studying, he had a neutral opinion about it and he studied because he had to pass.

   "You haven't eaten your lunch yet? You weren't at the rooftop when I came," Langa answered as he sat on the wood chair in front of him. It was always Reki's company before Langa happened.

   "Wait, how about classes?" he panicked, quite, because they had class after five minutes.

   Langa softly chuckled. "Don't worry about it. She's absent," he said, then his eyes drifted on the books scattered on Reki's table. "You're studying in advance?"

   Reki nodded. "I don't think it's advanced though, and I kind of feel restless but I can't skate knowing I'm not prepared for exams tomorrow." He laughed, almost aloud, but got reminded they were in the library so he shut up, leaving wrinkles forming in his eyes.

   Langa chuckled again. "Mind if I join you?"

   Reki shrugged. "Help yourself," he answered, watching Langa put his reading glasses on.

   As they silently went to help themselves, Reki's mind was trying to focus. It had been minutes since Langa came, and all Reki could do was stare on the top of his blue head. He could see nothing but seriousness in Langa's eyes as he read whatever passage he was on.

   Langa.

   Langa never wasted Reki's time.

   When Reki said he wanted to meet by 10, Langa would be there five minutes before.

   And those five minutes would always be spent wisely.

   When Reki said he wanted to practice by seven, Langa would be there, practicing already, five minutes before they were supposed to see each other.

   Every five minutes before their actual time, meant spending five minutes more than they intended with each other.

   "Langa, what are your thoughts about high school dating?" He didn't realize he said that out loud.

   He could see Langa pausing for a moment, dropping the book in his hand slowly. His glasses-filled eyes went directly to Reki, confusion was evident.

   "I mean... it's okay?" he answered, obviously unsure. "I haven't experienced dating yet, so..." he shrugged.

   If Reki didn't know better, he wouldn't believe him. Langa was handsome. He was a 'prince' in most people's eyes. Lots of girls confessed to him.

   "Ah." He nodded. "Don't you want to try it? Like those in the movies? Dating in high school? Before we graduate?"

   Reki watched movies, romance, actions, anything under the sun, and he knew high school romance was quite not a big deal, but they said that it would complete your high school. He was curious.

   But got no time to think about it.

   Not until today, when he realized they only had a few months before high school ends.

   "It's fine." Langa nodded again. "I think I can live without it."

   Reki frowned. "But I want to know what it feels like!"

   He watched as Langa blinked repeatedly, going faster and faster as if he didn't know what to say with what Reki said. "I—you, what?"

   A laugh escaped Reki's lips as he stared at Langa's wide eyes. He bit his lower lip, letting go of it as soon as his eyes landed on Langa's snow-like face; his blue soft hair that complemented his blue soft eyes. Langa really was handsome.

   "What if we date, Langa?"

   Silence.

   "Like, fake date only of course. Just for experience before we graduate," he followed.

   Until Langa choked on his own, coughing repeatedly, all while Reki stared at him with surprise.

   "Did I say something wrong..."

   "Reki! That's not a good joke."

   Reki's eyes widened. "What? Who said I was joking?"

   And once again, Langa fell silent.

   Reki was about to say something again when the bell rang. He looked up, and saw it's time for their next period so he stood up and fixed the books on the table. He did not say anything, not bothering to wait for Langa who was also doing the same.

   Not that he's mad.

   He's red.

   No, really. Why did he even say that? Langa probably thought he's weird now.

   As soon as Reki turned his back, he closed his eyes for a second before walking, faster this time.

   "Reki! Reki!"

   Reki almost cursed. "What?" he said, looking at Langa.

   Surprisingly, Langa was as red as him. He knew, especially with Langa's pale skin, he could perfectly see the way redness enveloped Langa's cheeks, face, ears, and neck.

   He's probably embarrassed for Reki—

   "Let's do it."

   "Huh?"

   Langa closed his eyes, and when he opened it, it went directly to him. "Let's do it—but let's start tomorrow, okay?"

   Before Reki could even reply, Langa was nowhere near his sight. "Sure..." he muttered, not really noticing the smile forming on his face.

___

   "Good morning, Langa!"

   The moment Reki saw Langa, his eyes dilated a few more centimeters without him realizing. His smiley stares went directly to Langa's soft ones as he shouted, skateboard in his arms.

   "Good morning to you too, Reki." Langa smiled, feet on the board.

   Grinning, he put the skateboard under him, standing over it. He put his arms over Langa's shoulder. "If we're going to do this, let's do this right!" he exclaimed, eyes filled with determination, as if it was another skateboard competition.

   Langa just chuckled at that, letting Reki do whatever he pleased. "Sure."

   "But for now." He glanced at the man beside him. "Whoever loses will have to treat him with anything!" he said the instruction as if it was not almost automatic between the two of them.

   Though, this time, he had another plan in mind.

   In the middle of the street, with nothing but a post, trees, hard ground, and soft whispers of the wind, another phase in Reki's timelapse had started.

   "You won again!"

   Reki formed his fist, putting it in front of him as Langa copied him with a small grin to do their own dap. For a while, he stared at their fingers forming an infinity.

   Infinity, huh.

   His stares went on Langa's face. He smiled. "By the way," he said as they started to walk to their classroom. "You don't have to buy your lunch for later."

   Amusement covered him as Langa faced him with eyes filled with confusion. Despite being the 'Snow', Langa really was expressive, especially in Reki's eyes.

   He knew when he's mad, when he's sad, when he's determined. He could read his face like the back of his hand.

   Well, he thought they were really good friends since then.

   In his mind, Reki shook his head. "I'll give you something later! Go, now. Ace that exam, My Prince Snow!" He winked and turned his back, not considering Langa's state.

   He sat on his chair, just beside Langa. Immediately, his stares went outside the window where the practicing athletes were. Fortunately, the wind seemed to be on his side today.

   Reki did not want to speak, nor say anything, but he was wondering if everything was right. Was he doing it correctly? Was there any standard for a perfect relationship? Perfect fake relationship?

   He didn't know whether to let Langa feel everything was fake for like... boundaries, or make him feel as real as it could be. The problem was, he didn't know how to do any of those so he's just relying on what he could do.

   However, the one who proposed this thing was him, so Langa deserved better than the standard he could provide.

   While taking the exam, he was glad everything he studied for was there, he was thinking about anything else. He was thinking about the man beside him, not realizing he was finished. By then, he leaned on the wall just below the window to completely stare at Langa's concentrating face.

   Reki suddenly wished there were infinite words to describe Langa's face as of the moment, but all he could do was admire it from where he was with a gaze even he, himself could not describe.

   But the feeling wasn't any different. He's used to himself looking at Langa like this. He didn't know when it started, but most probably when their friendship deepened, they just didn't realize.

   What they had was something only time could tell.

—

   "Here!"

   Langa's surprised expression left an insurmountable amount of explosives in Reki. His reddening cheeks were enough for him to put the lunch box he made for the both of them on the table with a smile.

   "I bought lunch boxes yesterday, yours is red and mine's blue. I heard it's usual for couples to have something as a pair so I thought of it!" he said, flopping down beside Langa who was still silent. "And I exchange our colors for fun!"

   The lunch box he bought for him, like he said, was blue which had the same bear pattern on its cover, the same with Langa. They also had the same lunch which he made before going to school. Some Tonkatsu and veggies.

   "Reki... thank you," he muttered. "Should we uhm—" Reki could not understand why Langa seemed distraught. "Let's go?"

   His eyes squinted, darting his gaze on the man. "Are you okay?"

   Langa's nod was suspicious but he let it slide. "Of course. Come on."

   Both of them flopped themselves on the solid ground of the rooftop, leaning on the railings. As they ate, Reki remembered something.

   "By the way, do you want me to look at your skateboard later? Your balance seems off earlier," he said, biting from Tonkatsu. "Wait, did your landing last night still hurt? I knew it!" he followed, this time worried. He should have known. He already noticed Langa's bad landing last night, but he shook it off when Langa did.

   He did not notice when Langa paused from eating, but when he did, Langa was looking at him. "You noticed?"

   "Huh? Of course? It's skateboard," he answered, as a matter of fact.

   Langa shook his head. "No, I mean, my landing."

   "Oh." Reki nodded nonchalantly. "I did." He always noticed everything about Langa.

   "Then uhm, no, the landing was okay now. It was the board," Langa answered, continuing to eat. "I think there's something wrong with the wheels."

   "Okay, let's look at it later. Though, there's beef next Wednesday right? It's Joe versus Miya! We should go." He wiped his lips. "And I'll treat you there before we go! That's right, that's right..."

   And Reki continued blabbing, not really caring whether Langa listens or not. He was just talking animatedly as he ate. Though of course, Langa would always listen.

   Langa would always look at him through the same eyes, expressing what he felt with every Reki's stories and letting the man spit his worries, dumbness, and frustrations out.

—

   Just like their plan, Reki invited Langa hours before the beef. It was just 15 minutes before four in the afternoon. He still had time to wait for Langa.

   Today, he was wearing a yellow hoodie over his white shirt and black pants. He might have wanted to dress up today, but he was also considering his comfort later. He'd never know what would happen at S.

   Also, there's something Reki had been wanting to try since he saw it from his sister, Koyomi. He borrowed her white polaroid camera, a gift from their mother, to take photos of Langa. It would be fun, for sure! It's also to make physical memories of the bliss they would want to standstill.

   Like Reki had said, time was never something that adjusts for you. You chase it. And it's up to you whether to engrave the moment that only time could continue or wash-off or not.

   Reki bit his lower lip, fixing the bandana on his head when he heard a very familiar sound of wheels. He stood straight, let out a huge sigh, and tried to relax.

   Why was he even trying to relax? He should be relaxed.

   "Hello, Reki."

   A smile crept his lips as he stared at Langa who was riding his skateboard towards him. Langa was wearing a white turtleneck, and blue blazer over his black pants. He looked *langa* as always.

   "Hi! Have you eaten?" he greeted once Langa was already in front.

   Langa's brows furrowed, making Reki chuckle. His expressions were really amusing. "You said... I shouldn't."

   "Right! I said that." He grinned. "Because I'm going to feed you before we go to S! I've discovered this really small burger shop just a few minutes from here. They're really small! But I tried their food first before inviting you so I'm sure you'll like it!" He could not even contain his excitement. He prepared for this. He tried to prepare for this.

   As soon as they went inside the shop, Reki motioned Langa to find their seat he's comfortable with. On the other hand, he went to get their orders, already having an idea what he wanted Langa to try.

   He ordered the one he tried last night for the both of them, and another one that they called their best seller. When he reached their seat, he smiled when he realized they were beside the window. Just enough to watch the people walking by, each have their own stories on why they're walking the way they did.

   With anticipation, Reki watched as Langa delved into the food, and when his face etched with delight, Reki couldn't help but smile to himself.

   He knew Langa liked it.

   "So? What do you think?"

   "I hate to say this, but... this is definitely better than what we used to eat!"

   Reki giggled, eyes exploding with sparkled. "Right? Right!?" His laugh resonated in the area, fortunately, he never cared about his audience.

   Laughs erupted from Langa, so as Reki, and in that moment, he knew he had to capture it. Without further ado, he put down his burger to get the camera from his bag. Right after setting it to what Koyomi taught him, he clicked the shot and waited.

   "Reki!"

   "What?" he laughed. He looked up and saw Langa like he usually was. Reki didn't know why, but he could almost always see Langa's cheeks covered with soft touches of red.

   He looked really adorable with it.

   And when the film finally got cleared, seeing Langa's adorable laugh got captured; mouth wide-opened, perfectly white teeth in synch, and eyes-closed almost forming whiskers on his cheeks from laughing too much, he could not help but think that the weeks of allowance he would be sacrificing for Koyomi's new films was worth it.

   "Reki, by the way, have you thought about Harry's style? His board was kind of bad last night 'no?"

   "I noticed that too! But his style was..."

   And that's how they spent their free time before going to S. Talking to each other about most random things they could think of, too busy to notice how each of them looked at each other with the most fond look they could offer.

___

   "Wait, what do you mean you're dating!?" It was Miya.

   Miya's reaction was already anticipated by Reki. He knew it's not very likely for them to date, they were very good friends, Langa always treated him as one so it's very unlikely. However, they had to deal with that now.

   They were dating.

   Well, fake, but the details were not very important now.

   "Finally!"

   "Yes, I know it's unlikely—finally?" Reki stopped from what he was about to say when he realized what Shadow exclaimed. He looked at Langa who was mirroring his widened-eyes, though, Langa looked more flustered now.

   "You've been—"

   "The beef's starting. Let's talk about that later," Cherry intervened under his mask as Miya ran away, eyes still on them.

   The loud beat of Reki's heart calmed down for a moment because of that. He knew he wasn't hiding anything, but he was feeling relieved that whatever Shadow was about to say wasn't revealed.

   All throughout the beef, the four of them were looking through the screen. Joe's at advantage right now, but Miya was following behind. It was as intense as it could be, but the sparkles flying around them seemed to be brighter than the intensity. They were having fun.

   "There's a corner, Miya's speeding up!"

   His mouth was slightly ajar, heart still beating too fast from excitement as he watched his two friends. He breathed really hard, until he felt a hand enveloping his right hand from the side. His eyes widened, he could hear his heart beating even faster it could explode on the spot.

   When he looked at it, he saw Langa's pale skin, hand on his. He looked up to see Langa only to see the man looking through the screen, right hand unconsciously clutching his chest.

   "Are you okay?" he whispered, just enough to be heard by the two of them. He was asking that, but he thought he should be the one to be asked that question. He felt like he would get a heart-attack.

   He should get checked.

   "Yes." Langa looked at him, causing somersault in him. "I'm... excited. I just need something to hold on to." He smiled, even his eyes were smiling that made Reki look away.

   He chose to hold on to Reki.

   Reki didn't know what to feel with that.

   Because of that, Reki could not focus on the beef anymore, he just heard Joe won, but his mind was elsewhere.

   "Reki, can we talk?"

   His blink went rapidly when Joe, finally (quite) dressed, went straight to him after going to Cherry. Reki was not blind not to see the look Cherry gave to Joe before he went away.

   "Sure, what is it about?" he answered.

   Joe's eyes drifted on his hand that was holding Langa before gesturing to follow him. He let go of Langa's hand, giving it a light squeeze before following Joe to a more secluded place.

   "So," Joe started, arms crossing each other. "Kaoru and I, well it was mostly Kaoru but I agreed so it's a collective thought, I noticed something."

   "Uh-huh?" Reki put his hands in his pockets, kind of getting where he was going after mentioning Cherry. He hoped he's wrong. He's afraid of Langa's reaction if he finds out they know.

   "Uh-huh," Joe mockingly followed, grinning. "Since when have you been dating?"

   Quite shaken, Reki allowed himself to melt on the ground, sitting on the hard rock which was fortunately there. He could not afford to look at Joe. "Just... just last Monday."

   "Oh, wow." Joe sounded amused which Reki could not understand why. More than amused, he seemed sarcastic. "So, you did confess, then?"

   "O—of—"

   "You don't have to lie, Reki. But are you sure about this? Who initiated it?"

   Reki got frozen on the spot, mind immediately flying around, maybe towards Langa, maybe nothing. He thought of this fake dating because it might be fun, but what was he being so nervous for?

   "I—I did, does it matter, though?" He sighed. "We thought it's fun, and we're graduating. We... wanted to try some things..." He's glad he managed to answer that quite well, but he could not afford to look at Joe's eyes which were staring at him too much.

   At that, he could see Joe nodding but he could not see the expression in his eyes. He was afraid. "I see... but be careful, okay? Dating, fake dating... it's exhausting." Joe let out an exasperated sigh which worried Reki even more, but his heart kind of relaxed when he felt his calloused hand on his head. "Whatever you're hiding, it will not stay hidden. Better to choose your timing, kid."

   And he was left there.

   Heart ramming to go out of his chest.

   Cherry and Joe knew about their secret. It should not be a big deal. It should not, because they really didn't have any important reason to be doing this in the first place.

   But everyone finding out seemed to scare Reki.

   Because everyone finding out meant this had to be stopped.

   And it's terrifying.

   Suddenly, it's terrifying. And Joe's last words seemed to have struck Reki in more than one way.

   "Reki? Are you alright?"

   It had always been like this. Reki, thinking about some things, mind spiraling out of this world, and thoughts left unsaid but loud. And Langa... pulling him from these drowning thoughts to a more breathable one without having to use ancay force.

   "I'm fine." Reki smiled, the same smile he used to fool everyone.

   And suddenly, a rush of emotions went inside him again. Seeing Langa's face in front of him, realizing how far he was behind him in reality regardless of how close they were. It's really... really terrifying, as he thought of how far Langa could go further than him, and he'd always be... far behind.

   Instead of feeling the same envious feeling he thought of before, there was this difference... far different than that that he could only feel with Langa. It was the sudden thought of wanting to be with Langa every step of his way.

   "Hey, Reki, did Joe say something that made you act that way?" Langa's brows furrowed. "Wait here."

   Before Langa could even leave, Reki snickered and held his hands. "I'm fine. Really. Just as excited as you." He giggled. His eyes drifted away from the man in front of him, fearing so many things. Fearing the way Langa knew him so much that he's afraid he would know what he was thinking.

   "Should we go home?"

   "Do you know why infinite is fascinating?" Reki asked, ignoring Langa's question.

   To be honest, he didn't know where that question would go. He just blurted that out, thinking he was asking the right question with no anything behind it.

   Even Langa seemed to be surprised by his question. His eyes drifted to him, but Reki did not spare him a glance. He continued staring at the screen with two people having beef, but he was not in the right state of mind to think who those could be. He was staring, while waiting for Langa's answer.

   "Do I even find infinite fascinating in the first place?" Langa chuckled. That soft—soft laugh that Reki had always wanted to hear.

   Calm down, Reki. You're friends.

   But, wait... Reki blinked as he finally realized Langa's answer. He snapped his head towards him. "Well... do you?"

   "Hmm..." Langa glanced at him. "It's scary." He laughed.

   Surprised, Reki's questioning eyes remained on him. "What do you mean?"

   "Infinite... seems to be a scary place. It's like, we know nothing about it, we just know it's... infinite, it's endless, and we could do nothing about it. Only time can tell what will happen beyond that endlessness."

   He's right. The concept of infinity was a scary thing.

   Reki did not realize he'd been staring too much at Langa's face, all while Langa was smiling curtly at the screen, obviously not watching it that way. Both of them seemed to be engrossed with their own conversation.

   But Reki... Reki felt something dipped in his heart. Langa's eyes seemed to be pulling him somewhere infinite.

   "Right," he murmured. "It's scary."

   "Hmm?" Langa faced him.

   Reki shook his head. "I mean, doesn't it mean it's that fascinating?" His eyes sparkled at that thought, completely letting go of the loud sound in his heart. "Infinite makes me feel magic, and it makes you feel scared. Infinite is something subjective like art! It makes us feel things that only us can feel!" He exclaimed.

   And when Reki was done, he caught Langa looking at his way. His eyes were too unreadable for Reki as of that moment, but they held something that made Reki's heart pound.

   *Do you feel that too, Langa?*

   "Langa?" He tilted his head.

   "Yeah... infinite is fascinating. I find it fascinating now."

___

   "Bah!"

   Reki's laugh resonated on the rooftop when Langa almost tripped from standing on his skateboard. He was looking through the railings when Reki appeared suddenly.

   "What are you thinking?" Reki asked, leaning on the railings also when he recovered.

   "Nothing in particular," Langa answered with a smile, eyes remained on the sparkling lights under them.

   "Is that so?" Reki looked around, noticing the silence they were in and hushed his voice. "Do you wanna know what I'm thinking?"

   Langa finally looked at him, eyes filled with interest. "Sure. What is it?"

   "It's... how are we going to hide later. We just sneaked in!" Reki laughed again, hushed this time. His voice was filled with the complete opposite of what he was saying.

   Because of that, Langa laughed also. His eyes were illuminating the lights they were just staring at earlier, and once again, Reki was enticed.

   "I think, I'm thinking something," he suddenly said.

   "Oh?" Reki's eyes dilated with interest, leaning on the railings more, but also on Langa sideways.

   "Where do you want to eat tomorrow? After school? I'm thinking we should eat our favorite, but I also think I want something new..." his lips formed a pout, eyes on nowhere, obviously thinking deeper than it seemed.

   That's what made Reki smile again. He leaned back slightly to give himself more air. Just a bit of space from suffocation.

   "Something new..." Reki wondered.

   Before Reki could suggest something, Langa's eyes brightened, looking at him. "Wait, do you want to be surprised?"

   Reki's mouth parted. "Is that... is that supposed to be a question?"

   Langa blinked repeatedly, seemingly realizing what he had just said. "Ye—wait, you're right." He bit his lower lip, looking away from him. "You're right. What—"

   Instead of stopping himself, Reki laughed again, this time, he did not let his laugh be restrained by the silence of the night. He laughed harder than he should have and he didn't know why.

   And because he was laughing, a pull seemed to hold Langa which made him laugh like Reki. Under the starry night, bright moon, and city lights, both of them laughed hilariously.

   When Reki tried to recover, Langa's snot came out of his nose, forming a bubble. Langa looked at him, surprised. He looked back with the same amount of emotion.

   Oh.

   The bubble from Langa's nose popped.

    Oh .

   Three seconds. Two. One. Until Langa broke out again from laughing too much.

   "That's gross!" Langa exclaimed.

   He really looked disgusted. While Reki on the other hand, for the first time in his life, time seemed to stop.

___

   A few days had passed when Reki realized his feelings. His feelings that were not a sudden shake on his personal space, rather a slow, enticing, and... sure.

   He could not believe it himself, but every time he looked at Langa, the same thing happened. It was as if he was falling harder each time he looked at his friend, and it's getting harder and harder to breathe.

   So, he decided to go to an expert. He believed an expert.

   "Reki! What are you doing here?"

   Joe was wearing his uniform as soon as Reki saw him. The restaurant was not packed, maybe because it had just opened.

   "Hi," he started.

   Joe seemed to understand the atmosphere the moment Reki went inside. "Oh, what is it? Want to talk about it?"

   Reki nodded. "That's what I came for, actually." He watched as Joe removed his cap and went straight beside him.

   "I think... I think I understand you now."

   Joe's eyes sparked at recognition. "Oh... that. Since when?"

   "I realized it last week."

   "That's quite long. What made you come here, then?"

   "I don't know what to do with this. It keeps getting harder to breathe whenever I'm with him." He knew his face was as red as his hair as of that moment, but he really needed a talk.

   He heard Joe chuckled. "It's alright, bud. It's... normal, especially if you're feeling that way. What matters the most is you know what you are feeling." Joe looked at him, eyes piercing directly. "Do you?"

   Biting his lower lip, he blinked. "I... I like him. I like Langa."

   "Like, you say." That was not a question, making him wonder. "Let me ask you again, do you know what to do with it?"

   Reki wouldn't have come if he knew. Instead of answering, he shook his head.

   "Have you considered... confessing?"

   "Confessing?"

   Joe nodded.

   "I don't." He had read something like this before. A friend confessed to a friend. Disaster. He didn't like it. He didn't want to be away from Langa.

   Joe tilted his head, standing up from his seat. "Oh, you're scared."

   "I—" Reki looked away.

   Was he scared?

   Right, he was.

   "But you said it yourself, Reki. It keeps getting harder and harder to suppress. I don't think Langa is stupid not to notice."

   With that, Reki's eyes widened. His grip on his uniform tightened causing it to be a mess. He knew that. He knew that perfectly. But... he's really scared.

   "It's almost time for your class, Reki. Think as you travel, I guess." Joe shrugged. He picked up Reki from his shoulder, pushing him gently towards the door. "Good luck." He winked.

   Reki went straight to his way, dumbstruck. He could not even use his skateboard because he was busy thinking what to say when he met Langa again. There was just something… something that always make him look stupid in front of Langa, and it was becomingf worse day by day.

   “Reki!”

    Here comes the disaster .

   Reki tried his best to smile, the way he usually was whenever they saw each other. “Langa,” he muttered under his breath.

   Tension started to suffocate him when Langa’s eyes formed curiosity. Was he obvious? Did Langa already find out?

   This was killing him.

    “Are you okay?” Langa went to him. “You look pale.”

    His eyes dilated when Langa put his hands over his forehead. His face had never felt this warm in any normal scenario—this should be a normal scenario! They’re friends! 

    However, as Reki stared directly onto Langa’s blue eyes, his heart started hammering even more. It was as if fireworks were suddenly being lit up inside him, and all he could feel was the joy of its explosion.

    He… didn’t want to keep secrets just to keep this friendship anymore.

    “Lang—”

    “See! You’re red. I think you’re having a fever.” He looked down on his board. “You can’t even ride your skateboard. What if you faint? I won’t carry you, I’m telling you—why are you laughing?”

    His laugh resonated in the area where there were just two of them. He did not know why he was laughing. He just knew he wanted whatever was this to go on until the end.

    “You’re cute,” he said, finding the courage.

    This time, it was Langa’s turn to be as red as he was earlier. “W—what are you saying? Have you bumped your head somewhere?”

   “What? I can’t compliment my boyfriend now?” That felt nice.

   “Boyfriend—” Langa kept looking at him as if he didn’t have a head.

   “We are, right? We haven’t ended it yet?” I won’t let this end.

    Langa just rolled his eyes, redness of the cheeks were still evident on his pale skin, turning his back on him.

   “Anyway, Langa. Should we go to S later?”

   “I think… you should rest first, ‘no?”

   Reiki huffed. “But I’m fine!” He even jumped to prove a point. “See?” he whined.

   Langa just laughed at his antics, not minding he looked stupid jumping by himself. He reached for Reki’s skateboard, and carried it alongside his. “I think, not.” 

   A pout escaped Reki’s lips, trying to get the boards in Langa’s arm, but he swiftly moved it away, gripping it tightly. As they walked, Reiki bit his lower lip and let his impulsive thoughts win. He reached for Langa’s hand, and his mouth immediately parted as he felt how they fitted perfectly.

   “What is it, Reiki?” Langa asked.

   He shook his head. “Nothing. I just realized how we don’t hold hands much often.”

   Langa just stared at him. “You’re right,” he answered, seconds later.

   And when they reached their location, their day happened the same as every other day. Nothing really changed as time went by, nothing but the color of the sky beside Reki. And his heart was still the same.

   He looked at Langa’s direction, who was listening to the teacher in front, but as Reki knew him correctly, he was most likely thinking about skating with strong skaters later. Until now he was thinking whether he could keep on par with him, but that’s his own problem.

   This time, his problem was to identify when he would be able to say what he was feeling without thinking of everything falling apart.

   He sighed. Here he goes again, doubting. Doubting never did any good!

   “Reki, come on!”

   “Langa—wait, huh?”

   His brows furrowed as his mouth fell on the floor when he saw Langa in front of him. He had been eaten by his own thoughts once again that he did not even hear the sounds of the bell. He looked up, still having the same expression. There, he saw Langa’s blue hair being brushed by the wind coming from the window beside them. His eyes were having that usual soft look that Reki could always feel against him. 

   However, it’s not Langa’s red cheeks, not his shy smile that surprised him.

   It was the lone red rose in his hand.

   “L—Langa, what’s this?” he muttered, carefully trying to identify what he should say.

   Langa tilted his head, hands were still on the rose. “What? Should there be any occasion to give my boyfriend a gift?”

   That time, Reki could not even describe his expression anymore. “Thank you…” he whispered, hands grabbing the rose gently. Could he even call that gently when his hands were melting from the thought that this could have become real if he knew how to take the first step?

   Rather, could he even call that gently, when he was literally shaking, hoping, praying in silence that Langa felt the same as his?

   “Expect that surprise, Reki!” Langa chuckled.

   Despite his racing heart, he tried to meet Langa’s gaze, chuckling along with him. “Is that still a surprise, then?”

   Langa nodded. “Yes! Because you wouldn’t know when it is.”

   Reki continued laughing, the rose was still on his left hand as he reached for Langa’s using his right. They walked side by side once again outside their school, talking about their anticipations later. This had always been their routine, nothing changed, nothing different.

   Except Reki’s underlying matters as he stared at Langa’s animated face. “I’m actually looking forward to Shadow’s reaction later when Miya wins against him.”

   “You think Cherry will win against Joe?” he asked. They were talking about the bet between Shadow and Miya whether Joe and Cherry would win.

   Langa snapped his head towards him before facing forward with a purse on his lips. He looked adorable doing that.

    Langa, let me in.

    He never expected that there would be a day where he wished they were on the same horizon. What he felt was not an accident, rather, a slow build-up of thunder, rattling his heart.

   Langa was not an accident. He came not in a hurry, but from a careful walk of thoughts, doubts, and uncertainties only to end up as Reki’s infinity.

   “Reki, Langa! You’re here,” Joe greeted.

   Reki grinned, not letting go of Langa’s hand. “Yes, we’re here to watch Miya and Shadow.”

   Joe frowned. “But they’re not beefing.”

   “That’s the point!”

   Joe made a face at that before his eyes shifted on their hands. His left brow arched. “Oh? How’s the thing going on between you two?”

   “Still the same.” Langa glanced at Reki who immediately felt his insides shuffling. 

   “Oh,” Cherry commented beside Joe. He gave Reki a short glance before riding his board away from the crowd. “Let’s go, Joe.”

   “On it, Kaoru!”

   Cherry’s face crumpled at that.

   That was a quick glance. But Reki knew what that meant. 

   Was it really fine?

   What was he so scared of?

   Should he really take a risk?

   “If you’re thinking Langa’s worth the risk, then you’re on the right track.”

   Reki’s heart almost jumped out of him when he heard that whisper from behind. He looked, and saw Joe leaning on him. “I thought you already left!” he half-whispered, half-shouted, glancing at Langa.

   “Not before telling that to you.” He shrugged, finally leaving on his board.

   He knew, Joe was probably getting tired of him playing this one-sided game for months. But could he blame him? Years passed and he didn’t expect something like this was possible.

   Well… probably he knew, that’s why he’s pushing him.

   When the signal started, all of them were staring at the wide screen. He could feel Langa’s intense stares on it as they watched their friends beefing. He chuckled when the two’s mouths kept moving, and albeit not knowing the words they were saying, it was as if they could already hear the profanities directed at each other. 

   “Those two can’t really live a day without cursing each other,” Shadow commented, laughing.

   “Right! Old married couple things, I guess.” Miya rolled his eyes.

   No one could really process who was leading because they were almost always either too close with each other, or practically bumping boards. Yes, that’s how they flirt. 

   “They’re getting close,” Langa muttered. “Wait, huh?”

   Reki could feel Langa’s confusion as he’s as confused as he was. All of them were staring at the sky, lighting up with multiple colored fireworks. The sound was loud, but not loud enough not to be able to hear Langa’s gasp.

   When he looked at the screen, Cherry and Joe were already stopping, catching their breaths as they also looked above. Joe had this soft smile plastered on his face, and Reki could him subtly glancing at Cherry who was not looking back.

   Those two…

   This time, Reki looked at the man beside him. Langa. His mouth was parted, his eyes illuminating the bright lights coming from the explosion above them. 

   “Langa, I’m sorry.”

   That was a whisper. And when Langa looked at him with more confusion, he wanted to bash his head on his board. He got caught in the moment much to his dismay.

   “Why, Reki?”

   Reki looked down, only to look at Langa’s face again when his eyes dropped on their still intertwined hands. 

   “I didn’t—I didn’t expect this to happen, believe me.” His voice hurted even himself. 

   His hand that was holding Langa was gripping it more tightly, still staring at Langa’s with plea in his. He wanted Langa to know how sorry he was for trying to risk it, while also making him feel how sincere he was for his feelings.

   “I don’t understand, Reki.” Langa tilted his head, eyes filled with worry as he held his hand with the same grip. “Please get to the point, I’m getting worried.”

   The sky was still emitting the bright lights when Reki took a deep breath. “It’s getting real, Langa.”

   “Real?”

   “I’m loving you for real, and I hate myself for risking our friendship over my own selfishness, but… but this is getting harder to suppress, Langa.” He looked away. “As time goes by I’m with you, it’s getting harder to keep myself from knocking, and the urge to kick that door between us just to get to you is getting stronger,” he said, finally, he said. His breath started to stagger, but he was still trying to keep himself together.

   He looked at Langa to see his expression but all he could see was the same confusion he had earlier. Once again, the time seemed to stop between the two of them, and the loud noise coming from the fireworks were nowhere to be heard.

   “Let me in… can you let me in, Langa?”

   And when Langa’s face broke into a smile Reki had always been familiar with, he wanted to jump from glee, tear-up, and completely roll over the cement ground they were standing on. The sound that was nowhere seemed to suddenly come back, and the time seemed to be moving again.

   Reki looked up at the fireworks, enjoying the even tighter grip of Langa’s hand on his. This time, nothing could be heard between the two of them but the explosion and loud beat of their finally meeting heart. He looked at Langa again, and the man answered his smile. 

   “I don’t know how long you've been trying to keep that to yourself. I don’t know since when you started realizing that, and I don’t know what made you think you’re selfish,” he said, eyes on him. “You’ve always been in, Reki,” he whispered.

   And… among everything, among infinite explosions, gasp, crowds… that’s what matters.