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Mac looked out over the skyline, ostensibly observing the 1999 differences surrounding them. But really she just couldn't bear to look KJ in the eyes. Not able to stomach the thought of getting all weepy and shit with the rich princess. Mac stared at the setting sun for a moment. It didn't really matter if she fucked up her eyeballs, did it?
Mac spaced out for a moment, leading to a startle when she felt KJ's hand on the back of her shoulder.
Mac turned her head towards the touch. Seeing the heartfelt concern in the rich girl's eyes. Something so different than the anger when she threw her fist at Mac recently. Somehow Mac didn't flinch at the gentle touch, or pull away. Smirking slightly at KJ's rapid shift in mood from earlier.
"It really is fucked, isn't it?" Mac finally spoke, turning her gaze back towards the distant buildings. "To know that the world is a better place without you in it."
"That's not true," KJ's immediate response sounded like a reflex to Mac, a cliche to make her feel better.
"Isn't it?" Mac questioned. "My brother's a fucking doctor in the future. Because I died. If I lived he'd probably still be a jackass."
"Well I'm glad you're here right now," KJ tried to turn the conversation positive.
Mac turned back towards KJ, frowning. "You have a fucked up way of showing it," touching her nose. Still feeling the internal bruising from the punch.
"I'm sorry," KJ apologized. "I just....I had a lot on my mind," KJ saw the unimpressed look on Mac's face. "It's no excuse."
"It doesn't even matter, does it?" Mac responded with a sigh. "I'm fucked either way, so it doesn't really matter if I suffer now."
"I mean, if you think about it," KJ looked up at the sky, "maybe it's a little freeing. You don't have to worry about doing everything the world says you should. You don't have to suffer through all the normal struggles. You can enjoy the time you have. With the people you want."
KJ held Mac's gaze. Wanting to say something desperately. But still lacking the words.
"Yeah, right," Mac laughed. "I'm trapped in the future with 3 random chicks, thrown in to the middle of some shitty war. Sounds like a great way to spend my last years."
"Maybe it isn't random," KJ slid her hand off Mac's shoulder, down Mac's arm, reaching for her hand.
Mac pulled away at the touch. "Fuck, rich girl! I'm not your future boyfriend! Rick or whatever his name was."
"Geez Mac! I never said you were!" KJ looked hurt, her eyes welling up.
Mac huffed and looked away, refusing to become absorbed by the emotional outburst.
“That guy isn’t my future boyfriend anyway!” KJ blurted. “I don’t have a future boyfriend!”
KJ paused, terrified to say the word. Taking a deep breath, KJ whispered, “Future me doesn’t have a boyfriend. She has a—a—“
Mac turned around making a face at KJ’s stuttering words. “Uhhh! Uhhh!” Mac’s mouth hung open jeeringly. “A what? A Cabbage Patch collection?!”
KJ bit her lip, furious at Mac’s mockery of her attempt to share something deeply personal.
“She has a girlfriend!” KJ blurted quickly, not giving herself time to be afraid of the word.
“A what?” Mac laughed incredulously. “So you’re some kind of carpet muncher?”
“That’s not nice Mac!” KJ’s voice was tinged with hurt at the homophobic slur.
“No you know what’s not nice? Being dead!” Mac yelled back.
“You’re not DEAD yet!” KJ grabbed Mac by the arms, turning her to face herself.
Mac shook her arm trying to pull away, but KJ wouldn’t let go. Staring Mac down, shaking.
“You aren’t dead, Mac,” KJ looked into her eyes unrelentingly. “So why are you acting like you’ve already got one foot in the grave. Are you that afraid to live?”
“I’m not afraid of anything,” Mac argued.
“Aren’t you?” KJ responded. “I saw the way you looked at the girls at older Tiff’s party. Why can’t you just admit it?”
“I'm not some fucking dyke--"
"Shut. Up." KJ pulled Mac towards her, closing her eyes, kissing her on the lips.
Mac didn’t pull away, stunned at the feeling of KJ’s kiss. It was weird but it didn’t feel bad, feeling all of the rich girl’s pent-up emotions through her lips. Mac wasn’t sure if she was supposed to kiss her back.
But who gives a shit what I’m supposed to do anyway, Mac thought to herself.
KJ broke the kiss and stepped back as abruptly as she had leaned in.
As soon as the moment passed, Mac raised her arm and wiped the excess saliva on her jacket sleeve.
“Now what the fuck did you do that for?!” Mac harshly challenged.
“I don’t know,” KJ felt scared at what she had done. Taking another step back, away from Mac.
Mac watched, still in shock as KJ's eyes filled with tears. KJ's cheeks turned pink, and she looked like she was going to run.
"Do they know?" Mac hoped the question would keep KJ from leaving.
KJ stopped moving away, letting Mac take a step towards her.
"Do who?" KJ asked, in between deep breaths.
"Your parents...her parents. I mean do other you's parents know that she...that you?" Mac looked down and kicked the ground in frustration at her inability to convey the complicated thought.
"No," KJ responded softly.
Mac looked up at KJ. Watching the orange sunset reflecting off her face. A breeze blew across, tossing KJ's curly locks. Mac smirked at her own inability to look away from the girl in front of her.
"At least I don't think they do," KJ continued. "I don't know."
KJ walked over to the edge of the roof, leaning against the brick railing. "She looks so happy," she contemplated. "Other me. With her--"
"Her girlfriend," Mac leaned up against the railing next to KJ.
"Yeah," KJ sniffled away a tear. “I guess it’s not that weird.”
“Who cares if it is weird,” Mac ventured a smile. “Normal is boring as hell.”
“You don’t think it’s gross?” KJ looked to Mac, the wet trail of a tear down her cheek reflecting the waning sunlight.
“Well it’s less gross than kissing a dude, that’s for sure!” Mac exclaimed.
KJ laughed warmly, Mac’s joke providing an unexpected emotional release.
“Have you kissed a duuuude before?” KJ teased.
“Eew gross! No!“ Mac shook her head at the thought. “That’s disgusting!”
KJ smiled and giggled with amusement at Mac’s exaggerated mannerisms. Not all bad, she guessed.
Mac stood next to KJ looking out at the sunset. Pretty decent, even if it was still the boring skyline of Stony Stream.
“I’m still fucked,” Mac considered aloud.
“Maybe,” KJ responded contemplatively. “Maybe we’re all fucked.” Then looking to Mac with a tentatively hopeful smile. “But we still have time.”
“Yeah,” Mac pondered as she watched the sun going down. “I guess.”
Mac reached her hand down towards KJ’s, not turning her gaze away from the horizon in front of them. Mac found KJ’s hand, her anxiety somewhat abated as she felt KJ’s fingers intertwined with her own.
KJ squeezed Mac’s hand at the belated reciprocation. Pursing her lips, deep in thought. Maybe they *were* all fucked, but that didn’t mean they had to face it all on their own. It didn’t have to be the end. With all the craziness surrounding their journey, KJ held out a sliver of hope that maybe they would find a way to save Mac. And even if there wasn’t, they still had time.
KJ nodded to herself at the thought, focusing on the surprisingly soft touch of Mac’s hand in her own. Maybe they didn't have all the time they deserved. Maybe no one ever really does. But that doesn't mean they have to give up.