Archive of Our Own

Shinonome Akito, the youngest from the Shinonome family, has a normal and mundane routine.

He wakes up, eats, goes to school, participates in shows with his only friends. He always goes to practice sometime close or a little past 6PM and comes back at 8 sharp. Never too late, never too early. And then sleep.

If hunger comes to him while he is buried under his sheets, he sleeps hungry. Doesn't dare to go downstairs to grab something.

If he arrives early, he waits until it's 8. If he knows he will be late, Akito will stop what he is doing and call it a day, immediately going back to the Shinonome residence.

If he's lucky enough, his father will be busy painting or sleeping. If he is lucky enough, he can sneakily get in and out of what he once called home. Now it is nothing but something akin to a prison.

Not completely a prison. Akito doesn't know the proper word to call that place.

His father never accepted the music Akito is doing. What he is going after. He was never fond of things such as street music or those ‘teens that can't do nothing but waste their lives’, as he would say. Used to say.

It has been radio silence for a while now. Akito doesn't know if that is a blessing or a curse. He doesn't know if the alcoholic drinks that were always found in the trash were a curse or a blessing.

His father always slept not so long after, so Akito thinks it's both. It buys them time.

When he goes upstairs he stops in front of Ena's room. He knocks thrice: a secret code both of them have agreed a long time ago whenever Akito needed someone to listen to him, or simply keep him company when Toya wasn't around.

Akito immediately hears a little bit of shuffling before Ena fumbles with the previously locked door. She slightly opens the door, one brown eye peeking outside before she completely opens the door.

Akito mumbles a small ‘thanks’ before sitting in the corner of the room. Ena locks the door again, quickly putting her headphones back on and continue what she was doing. Probably art for her own music group, Akito thinks.

He's glad Ena found people she could rely on. He really is.

She doesn't ask nor say anything, knowing that Akito prefers the silence. He appreciates it, opening his school bag and grabbing the things he needs to finish his homework.

It was hard to do it in the dark, the light of the computer and Ena's little nightstand being the only available source of light, but he manages.

It was unfair how Ena always received the good treatment. But he never hated her. After all, she is the only thing he has behind closed doors. She is his sister.

It was unfair how their parents are divorced, his mother no longer wanting to live here. It's a nice place, but it takes only a little bit for his father to begin to throw things around and then immediately regret.

It was unfair how she didn't take Akito with her, unfair how he looks just like her, but she didn't see him as her son. Unfair how she just disappeared, not even keeping a little bit of contact with her children.

His grip around his pen tightens as unwanted memories from his childhood flood his mind. The contents of his notebook quickly become a blurry mess.

“Mom, please take me with you.”

She didn't reply. She never said a thing ever since she began packing her things to leave, to be free.

As a last attempt, Akito ran to the front of the car. Arms wide open, tears softly falling down his face. “M-Mom, please. Take me with you.”

“Move.”

Akito cries harder. He shakes his head, little hands turning into fists as he doesn't move a muscle. “N-No! You're going to leave us!”

You're going to leave me alone.

“Akito.” His father's voice suddenly rings around the area in barely concealed anger. Green eyes, filled with fear, looked at another identical pair of the same color. Unreadable.

Akito knows better than to fight with his father and make the situation more hard than it already is, so he slowly, painfully hesitantly walks to the side of the road. Every step felt heavier and heavier as Akito saw his only method of escape leaving right in front of his eyes.

He wipes his tears, staring far away until the car is out of his line of sight. He keeps staring until there is nothing left but the perfume she always used and the horribly painful ache he felt.

His father waited until Akito was close enough to the entrance to pull him inside. Akito yelps, his back immediately meeting the floor.

Akito remembers the rest as if it was yesterday. After all, his father blamed him for his mother's absence ever since then.

Akito absently traces a hand over an old scar on his arm caused by pieces of glass when he fell on his side, the homework on his lap already forgotten.

It has occurred to Akito once that maybe his father treats him the way he does because he looks like his mother. Too identical.

He inherited her fiery ginger hair. Light, gentle green eyes and snow white skin. If he had the worst misfortune to be a girl instead of a boy, people would say he was basically a reincarnation of her. He doesn't have a single thing that is something similar to his father.

Only his art, of course, and maybe his anger. Probably.

Akito painted a small part of his hair yellow in the hopes to be at least a little bit different from his mom. To not completely be some kind of shadow she left behind.

It's horribly funny how Akito doesn't remember her name, not even what she used to like or hate. Everything that he knew about her is slowly flying away, his brain not being able to store those painful informations any longer. It's not like he should know her name. It's not like he ever had a mother in the first place.

He hates looking like her. He hates the fact that people mostly know his name because he looks just like her.

He's Akito Shinonome, the youngest son of the Shinonome family. Regrettably.

He can't help but wish he had at least the desire to create art just like his sister. His father. He tried, once, but burned the paper on the same day.

His art feels left out. Like an unknown area. Something that wasn't meant to be there, but it still exists. Ever since he joined Vivid BAD SQUAD, Akito has made a pause on it. Singing is something that he has loved to do lately.

… Okay, maybe he still does art sometimes. And his sister knows. And Toya, but Akito hasn't really shown him how his art is — Only through words. And maybe he is being too ominous about it, yes. And maybe I, the narrator, am being too dramatic.

You should see it for yourself, then.

*

His blood pulsed. It was on fire.

The crows cheers as BAD DOGS end their song: another successful live to wrap the night on a golden ribbon. Both boys thank everyone before definitely leaving for the night. Neither said a thing, for it wasn't needed, until they reached the end of Vivid Street.

Akito turns to look at Toya, he immediately notices how satisfied his partner also is. Happy. Free.

“I tried Street Music music because of the words you said that day. Because of you.”

“Hm? Sorry, I couldn't hear you inside that crowd.”

“. . Nah, it's nothing.”

You were my doom, but also the reason I'm here.

Ethereal silver eyes turn to look at Akito. Their eyes meet, and Toya's smile widens not so long after. For a moment, time seemed to stop. Akito's heart skipped a beat at the sight. Maybe two.

The purple lights from the venue they were in made a huge contrast against Toya's blue hair... But even so, the boy managed to look so beautiful in a place like this.

Akito smiles back in return, internally praying that the purple light could at least cover the blush that is definitely covering his cheeks. He still shares the same feelings as his partner.

Not all of them, but he does.

*

Later that same night, the boy rushed to his bedroom and immediately grabbed a pencil and paper. He had closed his eyes, trying his best to relive that moment. Tried his best to remember how Toya had looked at him.

His fears were true once he opened his eyes and saw that the paper was still blank: he didn't know how to recreate that view.

Anger filled his stomach and the pencil's tip broke from pressure.

“Fuck.”

The young artist had opted to draw doodles of Toya instead — His smile. His thinking face. The face he makes when he sees something he likes… Ones which were quickly thrown inside the deepest part of his drawers once he finished.

Not before spending a good hour staring at all of them, of course.

*

“How long do you plan to stay glued to my floor?” Ena asks as she stretches. The words were somewhat harsh, but Akito was used to it. He knows she doesn't mean to be mean.

“I don't know.”

She huffs, closing her computer and taking her headphones off. “I'm going to sleep.”

Akito blinks. It was already past 2AM?

“Aren't you going to talk with your friends?”

“Aren't you going to mind your own business?”

“Fine, fine. I'm going.”

He gets up. Ena was already holding the door open for Akito to leave, and as he passed right past her she suddenly grips his wrist.

He stiffens, arm still sore even though it has indeed been a while since his father has laid a finger on Akito.

Ena quickly lets go, but stays silent.

Akito turns to look at her, one bag slouched over his shoulder and the other holding the wall. He tilts his head, as if saying ‘What?’.

“Sorry.”

The redhead blinks. Once, twice.

Akito mindlessly glances at the pink fenny plushie on Ena's bed. It wasn't there yesterday, Akito notes.

He can't put a finger on it... But something's been bothering her. He doesn't have an idea, of course, and it is best to not press on the matter.

“It's okay.” Akito hums, expression not showing a single drop of gratitude as he extends his hand to the door knob. “But I'll still go, I'll have to sleep too.”

Ena nods. She looks up at Akito with an unreadable expression. He doesn't think much of it. “Night.”

*

“Dad told me an event is going on.”

An suddenly spoke, catching the eyes from the rest of the group — She gave off a cheery grin before pulling out a paper.

… It was basically an Event, yes. One you make at venues. Nothing too special.

Wait—

“200,000 yen?!”

An smile's widens. Bingo. “Yep! I was wondering if we could take part in it~ Make some money, you know?”

“An-chan… Is this really true?”

“Of course it is! I even subscribed us and all.”

“WHAT?!” Akito's eyes comically bulged. “And you didn't even speak to us?!”

“In my defense, I'm sure you would agree. Right? Kohane, Akito, Toya?”

Toya, who has been silent all this time, replies. “I don't think it sounds like a bad idea, it seems worth a try.”

“Mhm! I agree with Aoyagi-kun!”

And with those words, the rest of the group turned to look at Akito — All of them with hopeful eyes. The redhead nervously shifted in his seat.

“... What?”

“Perhaps you could draw a poster to catch more attention?” Toya suggests.

“Eh? Akito draws?” An raises an eyebrow, not actually surprised. “Wow.”

Kohane hums, completely ignoring the elephant in the room. “That could work too…”

Akito stays silent for a moment, staring at the faces surrounding him. Until he isn't and his eyes land on Toya, who has a hopeful face — He really is sure Akito is keen on it, isn't he?

Toya blinks, noticing how Akito stares at him. “But it's okay if you—”

“No, I'm doing it.” Akito interrupts. Too quickly. “I guess I can do it.. When will the event happen?”

“In… 3 Weeks from now on.”

“Touché.” Akito replies, immediately regretting it after 3 seconds.

Those are going to be 3 long weeks.

*

“... I'm sorry.”

“Huh?”

“For revealing your art. I thought they knew.”

“It's okay, man. Plus, they didn't seem so shocked.”

”Hm…” Toya furrows his eyebrows, the worried look still on his face.

Akito watches as he fights his inner dilemma, when really, it wasn't that much of a deal. It's just stupid art that Akito makes whenever he really is bored out of his mind.

“Hey,” Akito stops both of them when he puts his hand on Toya's shoulder. “It's okay, really. I'll do the poster when I arrive.”

The other boy's mouth opens, then closes. Opens again, then closes once more.

And then Toya gives one of the best and prettiest smiles Akito has ever seen in his whole goddamn life. “Okay. Thank you, Akito.”

Akito says nothing. He just smiles, staring at Toya.

“Akito…?”

Said Akito blinks, suddenly realizing where his hand is. And what he just said. And oh my god just how close they were— ”N-Nothing. Let's go before your dad begins a stunt. It's getting late.”

His hand leaves his partner's shoulder like it got burnt. Toya says nothing as he watches Akito turn around, continuing their short walk towards the train station.

“Okay.”

*

The house doesn't look different. It's the same, bland, pastel yellow color, painfully beautiful cut grass that can get your neighbors jealous, and your local ‘Welcome’ carpet at the entrance.

If no one tells you that, the carpet does. Thank you very much.

As soon as Akito reaches the door, he can faintly hear the sound of the TV in the living room. It means that his dad is probably there — Sleeping or not, that is the question.

Once the redhead opens the door, he lets out a relieved sigh that he didn't know he was holding. His father, probably drunk as fuck, if the strong smell of alcohol meant something, was in a deep sleep on the couch. So deep that he didn't hear the front door open. Akito closes the door without much of a thought, not thinking two times before going upstairs.

It was only when he closed his bedroom's door that his knees almost gave out — As to not fall in the middle of his floor, he throws himself onto his bed.

How the fuck am I going to do that poster?

Doing it on a paper will be one hundred percent more lame than doing it on a canvas. Or was it the other way around?

Now that he thinks about it, Akito doesn't have the items needed to make a poster. All he had was a pen ( which was probably running out of ink at this time of the year and of his miserable little life ), a pencil and a pen.

Without much of a choice, really, the only thing he can do is use his only allowance to buy something.

He could walk all the way to the shopping, because there is no way in hell there isn't art stuff to buy.

But it just so happens that it is night, therefore late, therefore risky. By the time he arrives there it would be 11PM or so.

He could…

…

He could ask Ena. But at what cost? His dignity.

‘But Toya asked you for that poster,’ the demons under his bed whisper. ‘It is an once in a lifetime chance.’

And then Akito remembers how hopeful Toya looked back then. How he genuinely was feeling concerned later, guilty. And then his smile after Akito reassured him. His smile, which could light the whole street they were in. Who could rival the goddamn moon.

He fucking smiled.

This is the least Akito can do. It's not even for the money at this point, it's because of Toya. Because of his partner. And because of Toya he will get out of this room and ask Ena for the materials.

With that plan, Akito walks towards his door — But, just like the faint sound of the TV, loud footsteps could be heard. And they were approaching his room.

The door swung open (Akito, out of pure reflex, dodged what could be a broken nose with how hard it opened), only to reveal an angry Ena.

Talk about the devil.

“Where the hell were you?!” She ’whispers’, but really, it just looks like she is speaking in a normal tone.

“I was out.”

“Whatever.” She huffs, inviting herself in. “The point is that dad was almost going out to hunt you down late at night. I was lucky enough to stop him, and you were lucky enough to catch him sleeping.”

While it is clearly not evident, this is the closest Akito has seen to a concerned Ena.

“It's fine, I can still handle a punch or two.”

“This is not fine. You don't get it. Dad was mad — Surely you could smell the strong smell of alcohol downstairs. That's your cue.”

“I can still handle it!” Anger began to bubble in his chest, but he still had to ask for that thing. “Look, I actually wanted to ask one thing of you.”

Ena raised an eyebrow at that. “Speak.”

“I need materials for art. To draw, to be precise. I need to have this thing ready in two weeks.”

“For?”

“Please.”

The girl hums, crossing her arms. “And what do I get out of it?”

“Ena.”

“Alright! We can do it in my room,” She finally says, grabbing Akito's arm and pulling him out of his room. “I can help you.”

“Thank God.”

“Hm? Did you say something?”

“Nothing. Let's do this already.”

*

Akito was practically dragging himself to school.

He and Ena had slept really late yesterday, and they only stopped because the sound of the TV had stopped. Both bid their goodnights before Akito grabbed the drawing and ran to his room.

They decided to do it on a canvas which Ena thankfully had laying around. The paint was no problem either. The only problem was the design, really. And it wasn't too much.

The rough sketch had been done so they already knew what to do. All they need is time.

Once he is almost reaching the gates, Akito could already see Toya waiting for him — Bag in hand and leaning himself on the wall. The redhead could see how the other's eyes lit up once Toya saw him. It made him feel all fuzzy inside. Made him feel special.

Akito raised a hand once they were close enough to speak. “Yo, good morning.”

“Good morning.” Toya nodded, a small smile adorning his face. “It seems that the cantine seems to be selling Yakisoba Buns, I was wondering if we could pass there during lunch?”

“Sounds good. I can buy them.”

Toya opens his mouth, the tip of ‘No, I can buy it instead’ almost leaving, but it seems he forgot he doesn't have a job. Therefore no money, unlike Akito.

“It's fine, dude.”

“But you're already doing… That…” Toya frowns, probably remembering how he was the one who suggested it. “I was hoping I could do something to repay you…”

Akito shakes his head, a small sigh leaving right after. “It's okay. Your company is enough.”

It was only when those words left his mouth and the way Toya's cheeks dusted with pink did Akito rethink what he just said. But it was too late to take it back now.

An uncomfortable silence fell between them. The sounds of the other students in general, which were only a white noise until now, seemed so much louder than before.

“Toya! Akito!” A loud voice spoke. Akito's face never turned 90° so hard. So hard that it almost felt like his neck would snap.

“Tsukasa-senpai.” Toya greets their new visitor, who in turn, makes a pose. Akito almost dies just from that.

“I was just passing by but then saw the two of you standing here! The gates will close soon, so I advise both of you to hurry up and enter!”

Toya simply nods.

The same smile he had been using when he greeted Akito… The latter couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy clenching his heart more tighter than it should.

Akito doesn't say anything as he, too, enters the school. Toya, unlike Akito, seemed to be in an endless conversation with Tsukasa.

This is so unfair. Toya is just talking with his old friend, who helped him be who he is right now. Why is Akito feeling like this? Why does he feel like he had the right to feel jealousy and anger over something so small as this?

His inner torment is interrupted as Tsukasa puts his hand on Akito's shoulder, successfully pulling him out of his misery. “Hey, Akito.”

The redhead is taken aback at how normal his voice sounded — Olive green eyes search for Toya, but doesn't find him anywhere. Helpless, he turns to look at a pair of crimson ones instead.

“... Yes?”

“You seem to be lightheaded or something. Are you okay?” Tsukasa frowns, and Akito is once again immensely taken aback by Tsukasa's sudden shy attitude and concern.

“Yes? Why would you ask?”

“You almost hit your face on a wall,” He pointed ahead of them, and there it was. “Plus, Toya called your name a few times before he left.”

“Maybe I am. A little bit.”

Tsukasa pats his back with a reassuring smile. “If something is bothering you, you could always talk to me. You know that right?”

“... I do.” ‘Thank you’ is silent, missing. But Tsukasa seems to get the memo considering his smile widened.

“That's good and no problem! Now go, it's almost time for class.”

And just like that, he wandered off. Akito doesn't move a single muscle as he watches Tsukasa's back leaving his view. His hand moved to his chest, and he clenched it — Right where his heart is. It hurts, but Akito doesn't flinch nor make a face. He's used to the pain by now.

Stop feeling like this towards your best friend.

“Why am I feeling like this?”

You know why. Better than anyone else.

Because you love him. More than anyone else.

*

Art is complex.

You can't define what art really is. It could be a huge painting, the size of a house, or a small rock that you could find in the street, but with a small flower drawn on it.

If it represents what the person who created the art feels, then it is art. That was what his father had told him a long time ago. But what isn't considered art? If you make art for fun, it is still art. If you make art because you are bored, it will come off cranky, but still art nevertheless.

If you asked Akito how he felt about art years ago, he would simply huff. He would say ‘Art isn't for me, ask Ena about it’, and then he would run off to play soccer with his friends.

It's ironic how the people he once called friends are now far, far away. On a bright future. Akito wonders what would have happened if he never strayed away from the group. If, even after they lost a tournament, they wouldn't give up.

But maybe it is for the best.

Maybe they are better without Akito, considering the jumbled mess his life had become ever since his mom had left home — He wonders how they are now? Maybe they have changed places, because they haven't been here for a while.

That's good. Akito feels happy for them.

Even now, art welcomes him with open arms. That afternoon, when he came back home with a bruised ego, a cracked heart and scraped knee, football had left him to fall. But art caught him.

Perhaps that simply is the great talent the Shinonome family branch has. No matter how much you try, art always finds a way to touch your deepest wishes. It finds a way to help you cope or even create something to help you feel better.

But if you asked the Akito that is now staring at a blank canvas, door locked, holding a palette filled with various shades of blue and a single shade of silver on it, he would stay silent. His lips would be tight, afraid he would spill too much or say nothing at all.

And then he would stray away from the subject as fast as he could. Like a bruised deer escaping a hunter, desperately wanting to live. Too quick. Too obvious.

The person who asked would immediately know.

*

“YOU DRAW?!”

“What the — Don't scare me like that!”

Tsukasa's eyes looked like literal stars as he drank the sight of a beach — One of Akito's drawings, in the last page of his notebook. It basically covered the entire page.

“I never knew! That's impressive, Akito!”

“It is, indeed.”

His palms sweat at how familiar the second voice sounded. Olive green eyes (filled with denial) slowly turned to look at.

At.

Yellow ones.

Akito immediately closed his notebook, a strained smile now adorning his face. “To what do I owe the pleasure, Tsukasa-senpai?

Kamishiro-senpai?”

Rui seems to be unaffected as he stares back at Akito, who unlike the redhead, was using a smug smile instead. But if you squint hard enough, you can see that he, too, was sharp today.

“Toya has library duty for a while,” Tsukasa pipes in, completely oblivious about their inner battle. At the mention of his partner's name, Akito looks up at the blonde. “He told us to ask you if you wanted to go out with us? To the arcade, he said.” He finishes with a shrug.

“... Now?”

“Yeah!”

Akito blinks, then looks at the clock at the wall. Seems early enough, so he supposes it won't take too long until they finish their little trip and then everyone can go back to their own home. Plus, it's not everyday that Toya invites people other than Akito to go out.

Including Rui. The one person Toya barely speaks to.

( The redhead spares a quick glance at the said boy. His shoulders aggressively stiffen once he sees that Rui was staring right back at him, so he opts to Tsukasa instead. )

“Yeah. Sure.”

“Great! Then let's go to the library, Toya must already be there waiting for us.”

Akito nods, storing his notebook inside his bag and slouching it over his shoulder. Now that he notices it, the classroom is empty. Did the bell ring while he was drawing? Was he that out of his head?

Tsukasa and Rui speak to each other, but Akito doesn't bother to pry into their conversation ( He cringes once he sees how lovesick Rui looks ) — Instead, he walks ahead of them, already knowing the way to the library even with eyes closed.

Once they reach their destination, Toya pops his head out. He mutters a short ‘Almost there’ before diving back inside. Akito huffs at that.

It doesn't take too long before he exits. Toya is smiling, but this time it seems to be an excited one — Akito burns it into the deepest parts of his mind. He will try his best to remember it until he reaches home.

“Alright! Are we ready to go?”

“Lead the way.”

*

And to the arcade they went.

It seems that there is some kind of event going on, because the place where you trade tickets for prizes seems more full today. And more related to a pattern.

He vaguely sees a section full of animals — It varies to a lot. For example giraffes, bunnies, foxes, cats, dogs… Etc, etc. Other than that, it's the same place. With screaming children all around and the vague smell of sweat and also the way the —

“Shall we go to the claw machine?” Rui speaks first, breaking the silence that has fallen into the group.

“Sure.”

They walked over to it, or more like, Toya and Tsukasa. Akito and, regrettably, Rui, decided to stay behind: Akito because he completely sucks at it and Rui… Because he wanted to.

Toya seems to be having fun with Tsukasa. The poor boy was already holding a bag, knowing how good Toya is at those kinds of machines. Even so, he cheers. His partner seems concentrated as he currently tries to pick up a small bird plush.

“You're smiling.”

“...”

“Eh? You're not going to say anything?”

Akito closes his eyes. Deep breath in. Deep breath out. When the words leave his mouth, it is in a tired tone.

“... What do you even want me to say?”

“You seem kind of sad.”

Akito peels his eyes off the duo at the claw machine, finally looking up at Rui — Yellow eyes meet confused ones.

“What?”

The taller one laughs at that. “It's written all over your face, have you not noticed? You seem troubled, like there is something bothering you for a long time now. You seem more tense than normal, and if that is coming from me, surely something is definitely wrong.”

“I…” Akito's mouth opens in shock, at a loss of words. This guy just found him out in the span of 2 hours? What the hell?

“Keeping Toya worried? That is greatly unprofessional of you, Akito. He actually had this idea because he, too, has noticed how out you have been acting the last few weeks.”

“Stop.”

“So, as a way to help, he had this actually brilliant idea. And that's what you do? Can you not be considerate of your partner's feelings?” Rui says, disgust dripping from every word. His face looks so much different. “Tsukasa is worried too, you know?”

Why is Rui suddenly so angry at him? Why is fucking Rui Kamishiro pulling him back into this broken reality? Why the fuck had Akito never noticed his own partner feeling down Because. Of. Him?

What's happening? Why did the mood change so suddenly? He thought he was hiding it all so well.

Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

... Why?

You know the fucking answer.

“Look… — ”

“We're back!”

Tsukasa boasts in just in time to stop Akito from literally spilling things he definitely wants to, lest he wants to create drama. He was never so glad to have Tsukasa around.

Akito looks at Toya. Toya stares back at him with that same smile. Contagious. Brilliant.

Painfully fake.

The boy allows himself to drift into this momentary bliss — He tries, but Rui's words follow him like a shadow. He thinks, thinks, thinks, but doesn't catch anything.

Rui puts his hand on Akito's shoulder, pulling him along with the rest. “Let's go, Akito.”

“... Yeah. Sure. Let's go.”

What do you want me to do?

*

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

He lost his mind in time. Akito spent too much time with them at the arcade. It's too late. Too late. Too late. Too late…

The moon shines on the street as a boy with fiery ginger hair runs for his life — He is out of breath. He doesn't know if it is because he is panicking or because he has run through literally 20 kilometers (which he was supposed to pass them via train station, but then it would take longer) with his school clothes still on.

He doesn't feel his legs once he reaches home, doesn't wait until he falls face first into the floor out of exhaustion. If he has to fall, then make it inside the goddamn house.

The boy fumbles with his keys to open the door, but when he opened it, he wasn't welcomed with an empty and dark living room.

Instead, he was face to face with his father — The strong smell of alcohol quickly filled his senses, and suddenly Akito was dizzy. He was going to fall. He was going to pass out.

He was going to cry.

But before all of that happened, Father grabbed his arm and pulled him inside. The door made a loud ‘Slam’ with the impact. Father did not seem to care.

His grip on the boy's arm was tight. It hurt. It hurt.

It fucking hurts—

“Where were you, woman? Going out so late?” His Father says in a slurred voice, grip not loosening in the slightest. Akito could feel his eyes water at the implications that simple sentence had.

His Father was so drunk to the point that he saw Mother in his eyes, when in reality, he is his son. His son.

“My arm hurts… Please let it go…”

“Answer. Me.” If it was even possible, his grip tightens. The smell of alcohol was stronger than ever.

His legs are numb. His heart is cracked. His arm hurts. His eyes sting as tears flow out of them. He is crying.

Ena…

Akito shakes his head, refusing to answer. If he answered honestly, it would get worse. His Father, as expected, does not seem satisfied in the slightest. He snarls as he raises one fist —

“ANSWER ME!”

One punch.

‘Suddenly it doesn't seem so bad to give up now’, Akito thinks. His cheek will probably be purple by the time this ends. By the time he wakes up, it will be gone! Just a little bit more. He can take it. He has survived this long.

Two.

Toya needs him. What kind of partner would he be if he gave up this easily and left Toya behind?

Three.

Toya's father was worse. Toya had to go through worse things. This was nothing. Toya needed him. Toya needs him.

By the time the fourth came, his vision was already black and his body was numb.

*

“I told you to be careful.”

“Ena, please. Just put on makeup. I'll be late for school.”

It hurts to see how hurt Ena looks every time that happens. She always took care of Akito. And he is thankful for that.

She may not show it, but she is actually a big softie in her own way. She may look like she doesn't care, but look at them now: the two Shinonome kids locked inside Ena's room, the older one holding a makeup kit as the younger sits in fearful anticipation.

Akito winces when Ena first touches his cheek. She huffs, trying to give off an angry glare, but it really just comes off as annoyed — He does his best to stay still. It doesn't take too long until she completely covers it, thankfully.

She hums. Though her eyes still have that small tint of… Whatever Ena must be feeling after yesterday, she seems pleased.

“Done.”

Akito doesn't move. He watches as she delicately moves to store her makeup — She rarely uses it. Why she has one, Akito doesn't know. In his opinion Ena is prettier without makeup anyways.

They weren't really that close in childhood.

Akito heard one or two comments ( or one hundred from Tsukasa ) about Saki, Tsukasa's sister. Sometimes he wishes he and Ena had the same chances they've had to bond together as siblings.

In reality, they really just bonded because of Father. Had Mother been here, perhaps they wouldn't be here, knees on the floor. Perhaps they would've been happier. Livelier.

And then, olive green eyes move to Ena's own ( and much bigger than Akito's ) canvas. Her art is also beautiful, much better than Akito's in his opinion. He remembers the time she used to hate Father because he never appreciated her art, no matter how hard she tried.

Her canvas is all tidied up — Small bottles of paint, of multiple different colors, are under it… Different sets of brushes… Wow. That explains a lot.

Talking about Ena's art, it seems like she hasn't made any of it for some time now. Does she have an art block, perhaps? Or does she just make it digitally now? Maybe for the best. He hasn't seen Ena that angry anymore. Perhaps fear? Or she gave up? Or a break?

( If Ena sees Akito staring at her blank canvas, she doesn't say anything. )

“Oh, I almost forgot again…” She says, breaking the silence. Ena ruffles through one of her drawers. She pulls out a familiar poster and extends her hand to Akito, holding it. “I did a few changes here and there, but it still looks quite similar from when we agreed.”

Akito picks the paper up, examining it. It was the original Vivid BAD SQUAD logo, but with a few shenanigans put around, on and inside it. Looks creative and beautiful.

“... Thank you.”

His sister smiles at that, a proud one.

“Now let's go to school, I'm sure the train will be arriving soon and we won't make it if we take more time than we already did.”

He nods, putting the poster in his bag and slouching it over his shoulder. Ena grabs her own too, and just like that they are already making their way to somewhere definitely better than their own home.

At some point when they walked past Father, Akito unconsciously reached out to Ena's hand. She doesn't say anything about it, just gives him a reassuring squeeze.

“I'm here. Don't worry.”

*

The walk to school seemed to be faster than usual. The weather today was gloomy, as if it was going to rain heavily today. Seems pretty fitting for Akito.

“Are you sure it's not obvious?”

“Yeah. Just act normally, no one will even notice if you do so.”

Akito tried his best.

Gate, okay. Entrance, okay. Corridor, okay. “Your class is on another floor, right?”

“... Yeah.”

The ginger's knees almost give out once he finally catches a glimpse of blue hair. Ena glances at him with worry, but he shakes his head — She looks to where he was staring and immediately understands.

“I suppose I can let you go now?”

“Yeah. Sure, let's meet at the gate when you're finished.

She nods, walking away. Akito watches as she quickly leaves before An or anyone worse pulls her back in and forces Ena to take day classes. Which isn't very good.

She is already messing up her sleeping schedule for him. He is thankful for that. Very.

He shakily sighs, clenching and unclenching his hands. Getting used to being alone again. The pain in his cheek is numb until he remembers that thing is there. All good.

“Akito.”

“Hey, Toya.”

“You left in quite a hurry yesterday, is everything okay?” Toya asks, frowning. Akito almost raises an eyebrow, almost asks ‘What?’, but it all floods inside his head. The memories. The way he opened this phone and saw the time. That in a desperate attempt, he hurriedly bid farewell to the others and ran away.

“Yeah, just… Ena was messaging me. I was worried about her.”

Toya doesn't seem to fully buy it, but doesn't say anything else. Akito says nothing back.

Students are running around them. Their shoes clacking against the floor is overwhelming. Too loud.

He nervously shifts his posture. Why isn't Toya saying anything? Did he really make Toya upset? Did he make Toya sad for leaving so suddenly? What a question, of course he did.

“Oh, before I forget,” He gently pipes, hoping to chase away the sudden gloomy mood. The weather is gloomy. Toya is gloomy. Akito is gloomy… No good. “I finished it.”

Toya tilts his head, watching as Akito opens his bag and pulls out the poster. He grabbed it, probably not noticing how Akito is quite literally staring into his soul with how nervous he is.

“It looks perfect, Akito. You're a great artist. Thank you.”

And those simple words completely made Akito's day. That, and of course, the smile. Akito could feel butterflies flying inside his stomach.

“Seems like a good example to show you how my art is,” He huffs, a smile slipping into the ginger's face. “I'm making an art especially for you though, so look forward to it.”

“Oh? Really?” His partner smiles. Akito can see how his grip on the paper tightens. “I'm flattered. And excited to see it.”

“I have been on it for a while, but I assure you, it will be much better than the poster!”

As if on cue, the bell rings, signaling classes began — Both boys stared at each other now, silver eyes no longer focused on paper.

“See you at lunch.” Toya says, still smiling.

“Yeah.” Akito replies,

and almost falls face first into the floor right then and there. Would it be bad? To die because of love? Doesn't seem like it is wrong, but it also doesn't seem right either. Hm.

*

The sky doesn't change.

Since Akito's desk is practically beside the huge windows his classroom has, he can easily notice it — The way the trees' leaves swirls around to where the wind pleases, the way sometimes there is some kind of lightning that clears the whole sky for a millisecond before it goes back to its usual gray…

And much colder, too.

The voice of the teacher turns into a simple white noise at some point. Akito can't hear it, let alone listen.

His cheek hurts. He notices how it stings, remembers how uncomfortable the cream that covers it feels — Akito was never one to use makeup. He doesn't like how clingy it feels.

The aroma of it hasn't worn out. The redhead is afraid that if he gets too close to Toya he might just be able to smell it. And find out.

His stomach flips at the thought.

But… So far so good. Nothing to worry about. Just go through your day at your usual, lazy pace. It will all be fine. Toya won't…

Toya does have suspicions. Toya is worried.

The fact that Toya's father is a shitty human being definitely isn't new. Feels wrong to keep Father's doings away from Toya a secret though, when his partner is willing to tell how it was. Easily.

Akito can read Toya like a book when something happens, so does that mean that Toya can easily do the same too?

Can he?

The leaves stopped, no longer moving nonstop. The trees are still, the wind no longer interested in them. But the sky is still gloomy. Still looks like an aquarium that is ready to break. Cracked, waiting until the glass can no longer handle all the pressure.

The teacher does not bother to pester Akito about how he isn't paying attention. No one bothers to touch his shoulder and say, ‘Pay attention. It's important for your future.’

… Future.

What is his future? Wait until he is eighteen?

“... Akito, the bell already rang.”

He hums, eyes not leaving a certain part of the courtyard — One where the leaves are still laying down, unaffected by the weather's wrath. Doing nothing but wait for when it brings them somewhere else.

That's all he has been doing lately.

*

“You never told me there is a competition today…?”

“... I've told you a few times, Akito. You agreed every time.”

A hum. Unsure. Clock. Where is the clock?

“Is Kohane and An coming too?”

“No, they're too busy. It's just us today.”

“Bet. Where to?”

“The usual place.”

Now that he thinks about it, there is still one week or so until the big day comes. Time is slipping right between his fingers.

*

Just like back then, the crowd cheers.

Akito's chest heaves, lungs desperate for air. The songs from tonight required stamina and a lot of voice.

“I tried street music because of you.”

“Hm? Did you say something?”

She never understood what he meant. Maybe one day he will have the guts to tell her face to face, when there are no busy streets nearby that can make you deaf or a man that can make you shiver from fear. Make his kids, shiver from fear.

One day, when they are okay. When there is nothing holding them back.

Toya turns to look at Akito, silver eyes now illuminated by a blue light. More fitting. The redhead nods, reciting the same words both always say at the end of a show.

Once they leave, it is because they are tired. The crowd still asked for more songs but the message was clear.

Akito just really pays attention to his surroundings once both he and Toya are in the middle of the street. Walking back home in silence — No one needed to say a thing, because enough words were spoken the whole day.

… Enough words?

Normally, they would keep talking nonstop about how good they were. Now, they are only walking side to side.

Akito spares a glance towards Toya but immediately shivers once he notices his partner was looking at him, too. His shoulders shake as if he was burned and his head stays still. Look ahead. Look ahead.

“Are you okay, Akito?”

Akito doesn't look at Toya. “Yeah. Why?”

“You're acting strange lately.”

“It's nothing, dude. I'm probably wasted with all that math homework the teacher keeps sending us.”

“... Doesn't look like it.”

“Huh?”

Both of them have already stopped at this point. Akito hesitantly looks at the boy beside him, only to find… Something mixed within Toya's eyes. Fear? Worry? Frustration?

Anger?

“I thought we agreed to open up to each other after the Tono incident. After you kept forcing yourself to sing harder and harder. After we all decided that it was enough, and it shouldn't be a burden to any of us to rely on the other when something is wrong.”

“It's really not like that..!”

Toya shakes his head. “You don't normally yell, Akito. You don't act like this.”

‘You are not yourself.’

At the lack of Akito's answer, Toya shakes his head. Akito watches as his fists clench and unclench.

He waits. He waits until Toya says something. Anything — Akito doesn't have the right to say anything before Toya does. He always knew that this moment would come at some point.

But he was too afraid to look.

“I thought… We were partners. Best friends. I thought you trusted me.”

“The problem is not you, Toya — I swear. The problem is me. The problem is — ”

Father.

“Us.”

“What?”

“Us, Akito,” Toya repeats. “You are hiding something important from me. It hurts, but it's the truth.”

There were one hundred possibilities. One hundred outcomes that Akito had thought, rethinked, and carefully chose how to handle.

But not this.

“Us.”, the traitorous part of his brain whispers.

“No.”

“No? Then what? Do you mean to say that the problem with Tono still stings? Do you mean to say that you have been acting painfully off lately because you were tired? Hungry? Sleepy?”

By each word Toya says, his voice gets more hopeless. It sinks inside Akito just how long he has been like this.

… 2 weeks. Long enough.

It just sinks to him that this is so unfair. It just occurred to his stupid brain that this is not cool. Not something that you would do to your partner. Not something that you would do if you were a fucking decent human being.

Can a copy of his own mother even be called that? Can he even be considered a human after being her shadow for so long? After going through what he did? After what he's done?

“No.. No…”

“Then why?!” Toya yells — Akito focuses on now muddled eyes, filled with tears to the brim. He can see by the corner of his vision that Toya's fists clench, this time definitive. Sure on something. “Why are you like this? Why don't you let me help you?!”

Akito approaches Toya. His mouth opens to say something, but it is soon interrupted once his hand absently touches Toya's and his partner immediately pushes him away.

“Hey, dude—”

“Just answer the damn question, Akito! It's that simple, just tell me.”

Oh how glad Akito is that it is so late to the point that no one is nearby. He can't say the same for the people who live around though, Toya's voice is so loud that he wouldn't doubt that someone would come to complain.

Akito approaches Toya once more, his hands now gripping both arms of Toya's sweater. Akito doesn't notice how shaky his voice sounds, mind too filled with worries. “Please, listen to me.”

“DON'T TOUCH ME!”

Akito notices four things.

One, he messed up.

Two, he went too far.

Three, his cheek fucking hurts.

That night on the street, the two boys who stood in front of each other were not Akito and Toya. They were not the BAD DOGS. They were not something they wished to be.

That night, as one of them slowly brings his hand to his quickly reddening cheek while the other's whole body shakes and face immediately morphs into one of regret, face still remaining with the tiniest hints of anger, they were not partners.

That night, as both of them watched with lowered heads the blood slowly drip on the sidewalk, too tired to move, to react. They were just an incompetent artist and a traumatized pianist who happened to cross ways at the worst time.

Four, the blood was coming from his mouth.

The ginger quickly spits once he realizes the fourth thing, helping the small puddle on the ground become bigger — Toya seemed to snap out of something. Akito stares as Toya slowly turns his fist, only to find small droplets of blood scattered around.

A small quantity, but blood nevertheless.

This scene seems familiar. It happened before, but Akito hadn't hit too hard to the point of drawing blood.

Mom used to say that when friends fight, instead of broken bonds, it strengthens their friendship — It helps them to erase their insecurities and understand how the other feels, makes you accept and live with that fact, and then everything comes back to normal.

Akito wonders if that is what is happening right now.

What is he doing? Why is he doing this? Why is he making someone so dear to him feel guilty? Why is he still here? Why? Why? Why?

His heart clenches at each question, and it feels like it might as well just explode at any moment. He might just explode.

I tried Street Music because of you.

Did he? Or was he that desperate to find something he was good at? That he was sure he was somewhat devoted to reaching the end?

Sorry, could you repeat that?

Did you say something?

Huh?

He doesn't even fucking remember what she exactly said that day anymore.

*

“Akito I swear to my fucking Dad that if you don't tell me who punched you in the face I will punch you on the other side.”

Agile hands unpeeled another apple for the umpteenth time that day. Akito also heard those same questions, with different words, for countless times in the span of 2 hours.

“It's nothing.”

“... Nothing?” Ena's eye twitches. Akito doesn't bother to look at this point. “Your face looks like one of a kicked puppy, one that was left starving for a week and is now begging for attention.”

She says, sitting across from him on the dinner table. Dad was sleeping in his room, so the siblings had the whole house for themselves.

“It's nothing.” He repeats.

Akito finishes peeling the apple, then nonchalantly offers one side to Ena. She grumply accepts it, taking a huge bite.

“If you want to help me,” He suggests. “It seems that I am missing a color, and I was wondering if you could lend it to me for a night?”

Her eye twitches again, except this time Akito sees it. She doesn't even bother to swallow the rest of the apple. “You really have the nerve to ask something from me at a time like this—”

“Ena. Please.” He pleads, and Ena should be the first person in the world to know that Shinonome Akito does not plead, let alone beg.

Her mouth hangs open, as if she was going to say more words, but ends up closing it. Thankfully. “Fine! Fine, I'll get it for you… What color was it?”

“Red,” He immediately replies. “I'm missing red.”

She hums, finishing the last bit of her piece of apple and standing up. Akito stares until she isn't in his sight anymore before moving to grab another apple — He wasn't feeling very hungry today, so apples should do it.

The room becomes once again silent once his sister leaves. The only sounds his ears could hear were the ticking of the clock on the wall and the sounds of cutting as he rolled the knife in his hands, the poor apple being in the middle of it all.

Akito can't remember the last time he felt like this. Like he didn't care anymore. Like a part of him was pulled away.

‘Maybe we should just let each other go,’ He had said back then. ‘Maybe it will be best for both of us.’

Akito never thought that he would see the face Toya had made. The face of pure sadness and regret. It made Akito punch himself in the face over and over again. Well, maybe he thought about it a little, but absolutely not because of him. Because of his actions.

His body feels heavier, but when was it lighter? Did it ever feel lighter?

He didn't wait for Toya's response — He wished he did, but it was already too late, both literally and metaphorically. He was lucky enough to catch dad sleeping and arriving before the rain fell. Maybe life pitied him for once after all.

…

How does someone take so long to grab a single paint bowl?

*

Ena does not pester him with any more questions, fortunately. But she gives him company.

When he steps inside his room and locks his door, his gaze is immediately focused on the considerably big but also not quite small painting beside the window.

A boy with hair composed of two tones of blue and unfairly beautiful sharp, silver eyes don't stare back at him — It stares away, to the unknown.

It feels awkward to paint someone that is looking at you. To paint something that no one knows.

Akito's grip around the small bottle tightens. The only thing that needs to be finished is the red shirt, just under the boy's neck. The red was a tad bit too bright for Toya's shirt, so Akito mixed a bit of it with black.

Looks pretty enough… Not like the real thing, but pretty enough. Akito is glad he is an artist for once.

The redhead tilts his head, trying to catch the attention from the boy in the painting. He fails, but the other's gaze looks much closer now.

Even now, as Akito sits in front of the now complete canvas, right in front of someone he once, still considers, a friend, he doesn't feel pain to know that he is avoiding Akito. He doesn't feel uncomfortable to know he painted a whole ass painting inside his room. He doesn't think he has the right to just do another painting.

After all, it's his fault.

…

Olive green eyes fall on white paint.

Maybe he can stay awake for a while longer.

*

Time flies.

Akito blinks once, and he hasn't attended school for the whole week. He blinks, and there is a whole, complete view behind Toya.

It's a field somewhere, full of white flowers — Akito doesn't know the name, but he saw Ena paint them once. When they were kids. They're pretty. They kind of match Toya's eyes.

Toya is still looking down, however. Akito can't see his eyes, even with all the sunlight seeping through the cracks on the window.

Toya just sat there, looking down. What is he doing?

( Akito subconsciously leaned forward, as if that would do something. )

The latter can faintly hear the sound of someone knocking on the front door — He doesn't bother to look at who is the new visitor, because he can also hear Ena's footsteps going downstairs not so long after.

Muffled voices are what comes after. Akito doesn't bother, and doesn't need to listen — Muffled voices, the sound of the front door creaking, then a slam.

Okay... Maybe he should check it out…?

“An-chan, please don't break the door! We can just tell her—”

“No! I have to tell him face to face, we agreed, and he didn't show up!”

The rest of it turns into a white noise once he hears Ena's voice. Akito doesn't hesitate to carefully (borderline throwing) the painting inside his wardrobe. It almost doesn't fit, but it's decent enough to not just crush the canvas.

Next thing he knows is him staring at his reflection on the mirror. Both hands brush messy, ginger hair, and suddenly it looks presentable.

He concludes that what he is wearing can do the trick. With a deep breath, he opens his door and goes downstairs — His feet wobble a little in the middle, so he grabs the railing just in case he just falls forward.

What he sees next is quite a view. An Ena this close to just closing the door on An's face, Kohane right behind the latter, her hands gripping the back of An's sweater. He couldn't see An because Ena was covering most of it, but they were quite the bit of noise. Thank God Father is working.

A cough leaves the boy's mouth. He could feel their intense staring once three pairs of eyes focused on him.

An apologetic one, one that screams You Owe Me One, and another that looks like it wants to break you in half. Sharp, yellow ones.

“Akito.” She says.

“An.” He replies.

Ena's eyes shift between both of them, her left hand holding the door's handle. She stares at Akito, waiting for him to give a signal to just close it, but it never comes.

“Are you guys going toooo…” She draws out the last part, eyes shifting back to An. “Enter? Or leave? Or stay here in the middle? I have all day, really…”

An pushes the door open, wordlessly moving to grab Akito's arm. He winces with how strong her grip is, but he allows it anyway.

Ena doesn't say anything else when she closes the door, the gears in her mind probably turning and connecting the points. Kohane follows them in silence, but her face is the definition of worry.

Nevertheless, she gives him a small smile once their eyes meet. Akito vaguely wonders why she is still so kind to him at a time like this.

*

Once they are in, An doesn't waste even a second to push Akito to sit on a stool.

She crosses her arms, standing in front of him. The sun creates a halo around her head, covering what could have been hitting Akito and his eyes (which were open all night yesterday) straight on.

Kohane, who has been following them all this time in silence like a lost puppy nervously fiddles with her fingers, this time beside both of them. In the middle.

Akito brings his gaze to look up, staring at An's face.

“What did you do?” She asks, hatred dripping from every syllable. “What the hell happened?”

Akito raises one eyebrow in response.

An's eyes widened in disbelief. Her fist clenches her sweater from where her hand is connected to her arm — Her mouth opens, then closes.

Her eyes swell with tears in frustration.

The girl grips Akito's shoulders, shaking him. Finally stopping walking around the sore area, instead stepping right on it. “Where the hell is Toya?!”

“And why would I know?”

“You are his partner, god damn it! Why are you so nonchalant?! As soon as both of you began to not come to practice and ignore both me and Kohane's messages we already knew something was up!”

Kohane puts her hands on An's, calmly stopping her — An has been shaking Akito all this time.

The latter grits her teeth, letting Akito go. He doesn't say anything as his sore back, from sitting down for too long, hits the balcony. He doesn't say a single word.

“If you already expected such thing, then why come at my fucking house? To criticize me too? To pile all your worries onto me?” His voice raises at each question.

An's fists shake harder, the tears now flooding, and Kohane still maintains her hands on An's, covering them.

“S—Shinonome-kun,” She begins. “Aoyagi-kun hasn't shown up to practices lately… Neither did you.”

Akito now focuses his attention on her. He probably knows where this is going.

“S—So… We got worried. A lot. Both of you hadn't shown up to practices, or school, or even come to eat something here with us… In fact, you guys even missed the competition An-chan signed us up for. We lost.”

“... What?”

“The competition... Yesterday, Akito,” An interrupts. Her voice shakes as she pinches the tip of her nose with a now free hand. “Have you hit your head or something? We have been talking about that for days.”

She sighs — Her mouth opens to say more, but a shake of her head follows instead. Then closes. And opens with a new topic.

“... I'm guessing you haven't entered our SEKAI either in a long time.”

Akito blinks. It was his turn to shake his head.

“No. Why?”

An puts her hand inside her pocket, which comes back with her phone. She unlocked it and seemed to touch a few things before shoving it on Akito's face. The latter barely ducked it backwards on instinct.

Akito squinted, the mobile's phone too bright for his own good (he always told An how much that bothered and also how the hell did she use it on a daily basis), but he managed just fine.

‘Untitled’ is all he can see.

His eyes moved to An, and then Kohane, both were found girls anxiously looking at him. Probably hoping he could connect the dots.

A blink. Two. Three.

“What about it?”

A moment of silence. Had it not been for the way An's phone shaked in front of him, he would have thought she was going to quite literally throw him out.

“Oh my GOD!” She throws her phone on the balcony instead, the poor thing not falling to the floor by a thin line. She grips the front of Akito's shirt then proceeds to shake him again. “Both of you are idiots! Idiots, I can not believe this!”

His vision gradually got dizzier — Akito was confused for a moment. He never gets dizzy, let alone for something like this.

But then it occurs to him that he might have lost a few hours of sleep. And stayed up all night trying to finish.. That.

Nevertheless, he still couldn't believe what was happening to him. An's angry voice and Kohane's panicked one are nothing but almost a blur when mixed together, he can feel small hints of headache on the back of his head already — By the time his vision was clear again, An had stopped shaking him.

“You need to fix this.” She says, in an almost normal tone.

“I don't know where he lives.” Akito shrugs. He doesn't feel anything. No will to look for his ex partner or whatever the fuck An expects him to do. Nothing.

An slowly inhales. Then slowly exhales.

“... You absolute shit of a human—”

Kohane puts her hand on An's shoulder, and that was enough to make her shut up. “An. Please.”

“Just bring Toya back,” She says. Carefully. Recomposed. “We need to see him. This was never supposed to happen, everyone inside our SEKAI is worried.”

Akito hums, wrenching her hands out of his coat. He stands up — The cafe's bell rings as Akito opens the door, and the cold from the place quickly flees hit by bit.

The redhead turns his head, an unreadable look adorning his face.

“I'll do my best.” And just like that, the bell rings once again as the door closes.

“Just bring Toya back.”

Fuck. What did Akito do?

*

Truth be told, he indeed does not know where Toya lives — Akito finds himself standing at their usual meeting space: the Scramble Crossing center.

“My house is on that street,” Akito mumbles to no one at all, pointing to said street. “And Toya comes from that one.”

Considering how Toya's father is who he is, Toya's house must be somewhat big, expensive and fancy, right? Being a famous pianist and all must have brought him to this at some point in his miserable life.

Akiro's finger drags from his street to the one almost opposite to his: where Toya comes from.

And where Akito is going.

*

Knowing where Toya comes from is already something.

Seeing the amount of big, expensive and fancy houses live around the considerably huge place is depressing.

But that is all Akito can do; He never bothered to ask Toya where he lives so this is basically all that he can do for now. The earlier he finds the damn house, the earlier all of this will be solved.

( As he finished looking around the umpeteenth house that day, Akito himself opened his phone and saw how the Untitled song was still there. Just to make sure.

He grimaces, covering the quickly descending sun to see it properly — It will be night soon, too, but Akito has already fallen deep enough inside the seemingly endless sea of houses to come back.

It's hard to push away the need to punch himself in the face for not realizing that sooner. )

*

After a while, he ended up crashing at MEIKO's. Contrary to what he thought (that she would be absolutely upset at him), she seemed pretty normal. If you ignore the lingering gloom that was around.

He wanted to ask where everyone else is, but she had such a sad face that he didn't pester her any longer. Even as she kept saying how happy she was that Akito appeared, the latter couldn't help but doubt. A lot.

In the end, he would have preferred to starve while doing something than sit still while drinking a cappuccino — She said that it was a new recipe and wanted everyone to try it out.

And her attempts at small chatter. It was painfully painful. The most painful pain there is out there.

It doesn't go too far, because Akito doesn't speak as much either — It dies just as fast as it came.

Akito never tapped his phone so hard.

*

The clock marks 1AM.

His feet hurt, his legs burned, his mind ached and his body feels so heavy that it could collapse at any minute. Doesn't seem like a bad idea.

Not to mention that when he was looking inside a house's window (For Toya. All For Toya.) he ended up looking at some random girl straight into the eye. And she screamed — He almost did, too, had he not been on a bunch of buckets he found in the backyard so that he could reach the second floor.

He also noticed how a few house's lights lighted up, and that's all it took for Akito to dash for his life. To get the hell out of there. Since then, he has been more cautious.

And, since then, he barely feels his legs.

….

What the fuck is Akito doing. He could wait until Toya showed up at school — He wouldn't last that long, because you can get expelled from missing so many days. And he could ask. Talk to him.

Akito turns around, but all he sees are houses. Some with lights on, some with parties, and some dead silent. He turns another 180 degrees, and finds the same stuff.

It takes Akito a hot minute to realize that he was probably lost.

The boy drags his body to the sideroad, borderline falling face first on the concrete, and then he pulls his phone. Next thing he knows he is laying down with no one nearby.

He mindlessly scrolls through random social media. Just like the rest of them, a picture of a cat was the first thing he saw.

He doesn't know how long he stays: laying down, scrolling, but it absolutely makes him feel better, both physically and mentally.

*

At some point his internet ran out, so Akito opted to just sit down and contemplate life. About the situation he just created AND pushed himself in.

Cars came and went, even as the clock was so close to 2AM — He did nothing but watch as the light from the fancy lamp behind him made them shine. A particular black car shined more than everyone, he remembers.

A black cat sits beside him. At first Akito had mistaken it for a dog and almost jumped away out of complete fear, but it's okay now, he supposes.

The pain on his head is gone by now. Hunger doesn't come, thankfully. Not that he would go back to the SEKAI now.

Even at times like these, he does not regret coming to the middle of nowhere. If he hadn't acted the way he did back then, maybe right now he would be at home.

To do this, do that. When was the last time Akito felt like he really was relaxing?

He asks himself, once again.

Upon seeing the street light up a bit, both Akito and the cat turn their heads towards the source — A black car is coming their way.

Akito doesn't pay attention to it, nonchalantly watching as it passes by them.

… Except his attention is completely in that particular car once he catches a glimpse of blue hair. Two shades, to be specific.

Akito abruptly stands up, the cat hissing beside him, and before he knew it his legs were moving on their own towards that car. That was definitely Toya. Akito would recognize that hair anywhere.

Even when he was giving his all, it still wasn't enough to catch up, not even enough to stay close to it — To every sharp turn that it gave, once Akito did it too, the car was already on another. Time was running out, and Akito just couldn't keep up.

Toya didn't seem to even bat an eye once he called out his name. In fact it looked like he couldn't even hear Akito.

He doesn't know how long he kept running, only that his legs burned to the point that it was begging him to slow down. To stop.

But then what?

His legs give in under him, and the concrete welcomes Akito with open arms. His hands act on instinct as it holds his whole body's pressure, but considering his state, it's not surprising to realize that his whole body is shaking.

His mouth opens. Instead of yelling the same word once again, it gasps for air. His lungs, legs and arms burn. His body does.

Akito slowly lifts his head. A part of him wished to see the black car there, standing still for some reason, to see the only reason he threw himself here, but what he finds instead is a now empty street.

His ears thrummed — The wind is too loud.

What now? What is he going to do? Akito doesn't know anything about this place, doesn't know how to go back home (if that even is possible or even an option at this point) or not even stand.

He's probably hungry, but he doesn't feel the uncomfortable feeling deep inside his stomach. He doesn't feel anything, not even the concrete.

… Wait, what?

Before he can think of anything else, his vision slowly blackens and the world becomes blurry. His mind feels like it's slowly slipping between his fingers, going in and out of conscience.

He fights to stay awake but it seems he has pushed himself too hard this time.

“Toya…”

He doesn't feel anything as his face falls to the floor.

*

The clock marks whatever the fuck it is right now.

At first, everything is black — Nothing at all. And then, small bits of light in the middle that were gradually increasing. It was only when the white completely covered his vision that Akito realized he had opened his eyes.

Light seeps through the curtain. That was all it took to make Akito immediately throw his body in a sitting position.

The consequences were immediate as pain spreads through his still sore body. And then it hits him: yesterday. The car. Him passing out in the middle of the street.

Even as he frantically looked around, nothing seemed familiar. Akito was lying down on a couch with a blanket and a pillow to keep him company. He was in some kind of living room, where the… Window was a.. Little bit too big.

His hands dart to both of his pockets, and a sigh leaves him once he feels the solid texture of his phone. However, to Akito's dismay, it ran out of battery.

The boy eyed a clock that was hanging high up the wall, which read almost 5AM, roughly 4:51. Akito frowns.

Where the hell is…

“Ah, Akito! You're awake!”

… He.

A slow turn of head, and the horrible realization. “Tsukasa-senpai.” he replies through gritted teeth.

A smile spreads through Tsukasa's face, making Akito just realize the smell of cake hovering around the entire living room — His mind is too slow right now. Ah.

*

“You know, you were pretty lucky that I had forgotten to throw the trash out!” Tsukasa exclaims from the kitchen. Akito wants to tell him to lower his voice, to say he is being too loud, but then again, he is not inside his house. “Consider me shocked when I saw you passed out on the ground, in the middle of the night no less!”

Akito huffs from where he is now sitting on the couch, a warm blanket now spread around his shoulders. He imagines the scene: Tsukasa with two bags of trash on each hand, wearing comically large eyes, as a flat Akito laid on the ground in the middle of the night.

“How long was I asleep?”

“Only three hours or so, don't worry.”

Tsukasa shakes his hands to get rid of the water and then grabs a cloth to dry them, proudly looking at his now empty sink. Akito glances at the cake beside him that strongly emanates a smell of carrots.

“What's the flavor?” But he asks anyway.

“Carrots! Sometimes I bake really late, it's a somewhat comfortable hobby for me. Plus, Saki is happy when she quickly descends the stairs just because of the smell.” He proudly explains, holding the cake in both of his hands and delicately putting the plate on the table.

Akito cringes.

… But, to be honest, that cake looks pretty good — From the size to the smell, that just makes Akito's mouth water at the thought. He hasn't really eaten recently, so he doesn't know if that is his mind playing tricks on him or Tsukasa is actually a pretty good cook.

The redhead now thinks that it's the latter.

It's actually a relief to see someone he knows so close to him after… What happened earlier, even if it is Tsukasa of all people. It's something, and he can already feel his mood getting better.

As Akito watches Tsukasa cut two pieces of cake, he vaguely wonders if Ena has been missing him, or even realized that he is no longer at home. If father has also realized his absence, or if he is drunk to the brim considering that now is technically a saturday therefore he won't realize.

His heart clenches at how Tsukasa can easily stay awake and be happy, free enough to bake a goddamn cake of all things. At 5AM. And not get interrupted nor asked.

Maybe it is envy. A bit. How would they be today if Mom never left? If Dad was more supportive towards Ena's art?

What if Akito gave in to his ability to create art? Would he be making paints with Ena right now? Would the house be full of drawings like before?

As Mom entered his mind again, Akito shaked his head to push it away to the deepest corners of his mind — The headache is enough for now. He doesn't want to remember. Not now, he is not alone.

… Nevertheless, in the end that is just a possibility that will never come true. All of it. Akito doesn't regret the way he brought himself to this point, because of those same few words that he doesn't bother to remember, even think of, at the moment, but still so deeply engraved inside his mind to the point of no return.

Perhaps deep inside the only things that he truly regrets is that he couldn't repeat what his answer was to her. Now as a consequence he may never find out what she would reply back then.

Ena was always an enigma to Akito, he never knows what she was thinking. Even if she is his own sister, and even if they have gone through so much together.

Unlike Saki and Tsukasa, Ena and Akito are so different. Maybe it's genetics.

( For example, Akito may never find out if the colored tips on the Tenma siblings’ hair are actually from genetics or if they actually painted it. It's their way, Akito supposes. Makes it easier to recognize they are just out of this world. )

“Here.” Tsukasa snaps him out of his thoughts. The blond is holding a piece of cake towards Akito, that same smile still plastered onto his face. It makes Akito annoyed.

Slightly shaking hands accept it, quickly going down as to not let it accidentally shatter on the ground or something.

In the end, Akito is never ready for tomorrow. It's always a surprise.

“Thanks.”

If Tsukasa notices how overly friendly Akito sounds, he doesn't say anything.

“Now that I think about it, why were you like that?” Tsukasa asks as he sits down beside Akito on the couch, his own plate within his hands.

Akito hesitates. He still hasn't forgotten that night, let alone the face Toya made. “... It's a long story.”

“Does it have anything to do with Toya?”

The fork stops midair. Akito turns to Tsukasa with a stare.

“It's just that Toya has been really down lately. And, considering how the both of you are so close, I thought something happened.”

“How do you know that?”

“He has been going to school, that's all, I noticed.”

So Toya has been avoiding An?

Akito carefully eats a few bits of his piece, processing that new information that was given to him.

He was right, the cake is delicious. Even if he accepted it out of courtesy for the sole reason that the flavor is carrots.

“I was.” He says, mouth already full.

Tsukasa hums, mouth also full. If you squint enough you can see tears threatening to spill out from his eyes — Akito barely holds back a personal question. This is probably normal for Tsukasa.

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to just explain everything at this point, both of them have a lot of time. And Akito really needs to confess to someone right now. People say that when you vent to someone you feel much better.

“I suppose that I can tell you while we eat,” He blurts out. Tsukasa's head snaps towards him, Akito can see from the corner of his eye. “I just need more cake, please.”

Tsukasa immediately stands up.

*

And tell Tsukasa is what he does, not even missing a single detail. About the night, and why he was here, not about his personal problems and the whole reason as to why Akito has been acting like this.

Maybe Tsukasa already knew ever since they went to that place, all four of them?

Well, Akito is just grateful Tsukasa doesn't touch these certain topics.

“I see.” Is all he says.

Akito doesn't reply, not that he needs to after all he said. The fork makes a clink sound as it touches the now empty plate, where four pieces of cake once sat.

Akito slightly turns his head, only to see that Tsukasa seems to be thinking.

“I can tell you where he lives,” Tsukasa pipes in. “If we are lucky enough, we might catch him in his backyard.”

Akito raises one eyebrow. “The backyard?”

And Tsukasa shrugs. “ There are some trees there, and it is pretty big, so Toya likes to do whatever he does there. Maybe he likes to be alone sometimes, and at this point I wouldn't be surprised if he actually is there right now.”

The clock on the wall marks 6AM, or to be specific, 6:16.

“You think it's safe for us to just go there unannounced?”

“Yeah, Toya and I used to do that when we were kids. I would give him a few visits when he was feeling down.” The blonde explains. Something akin to melancholy flashes through his eyes, but it is gone as soon as it appears.

“But that's from the past.”

“... That is from the past. Still, I'd say that it is safe for us to go to Toya's house. It's just a few streets away from here, we can walk there just fine.”

Tsukasa stands up, grabbing Akito's plate and putting it inside his sink. Akito wants to say that he will wash it, but next thing he knows Tsukasa is already opening his front door.

“You are going out with your pajamas?”

Tsukasa shrugs. “I would use mine to go, what's the difference now? It's not like anyone will be driving or something when the sun isn't even completely shown.”

“If you say so.”

*

There were too many people in the street for it to be a saturday. At 7AM.

Akito kept exact 7 centimeters of distance from Tsukasa every time someone would look at him — Some would just look, some would snort, and some would give him a worried stare.

But Tsukasa doesn't seem to be bothered so Akito doesn't comment on anything.

By the time Toya's house is on view, Tsukasa points at it. It definitely looks like a house that belongs to the Aoyagi family. 100%.

From the gray walls, to the perfectly trimmed grass, to the silver gate and the golden decorations around the place. And the way the air seemed more cold than it already was (Akito noticed that when he involuntarily shivered and saw Tsukasa do the same. He almost laughed. Almost.), and they weren't even that close to it yet.

Once they pass the gate, Akito blinks.

“Aren't we going to enter?”

“I made a passage right at the back when I was a kid. I'm surprised it lasted so long without Toya's dad acknowledging it.”

Once they are almost reaching the next house, Tsukasa makes a sharp turn to the left. Akito doesn't say anything as he follows the other.

Now that he thinks about it, Tsukasa has also been acting differently ever since Akito told him about what happened. He is more… Quiet.

Oh well. Considering how Tsukasa hasn't spoken a word about Akito's new behavior, Akito won't say anything either. Consider it an equal exchange.

“We're here.” Tsukasa cuts his train of thought like a knife cutting bread.

The blond points to a part of the brick wall that looks loose, as if you could dismantle it — The color darker. Tsukasa crouches and picks up one by one. The more he took, Akito could see more and more grass on the other side; Perfectly trimmed and green.

“It's not as big as it used to be back then, but if you squint enough you'll be just fine.”

“Are you not coming?”

The other shakes his head. “You guys need some time alone… But don't worry about me!” He quickly adds. “I will wait for you right here, take your time.”

Akito leans down too, and suddenly he now sees a full field of grass. There are a few flowers here and there, and you could see a little bit of the house from here. It's far away.

... It's huge.

Akito doesn't know what he expected from Toya's home other than a dull garden, but that's still disappointing.

The redhead just nods as he makes his way through the unfairly small hole.

*

He never stopped to think about it, but his heart is pounding harder for every step he takes. It's easier to notice it now that he is alone.

… Hopefully, for now.

Akito prepares himself when another cold breeze passes by. It's also colder here. Because it is almost 7AM or because this place is similar to a literal florest with how much vegetation it possesses, Akito doesn't know.

Still a dull garden though. The person who owns this garden doesn't have a single thing that isn't dull and boring.

For each step that Akito takes deeper inside the garden, his heartbeat gets louder. Knowing that at any point he can get a glimpse of Toya and find him here just like Tsukasa said always has his stomach make a flip at the thought. Every time.

A turn of his head to the left, one to the right, nothing. A small flinch when a bush touches his leg and then a whole shake of his body when some random dog barks, which makes the Akito recheck his sides.

Okay! Fuck that! This place is scary. What if instead of Akito finding Toya his dad ends up finding Akito ( (He looks at the house's windows just in case)? This place shouldn't be as scary as it should, because Tsukasa is waiting for him… Yet he still…

Slow, easy steps… Deep breaths… Full concentration… Toya… Toya… Toya… Where is—

“Akito?!”

“FUCK!”

Akito whips his head around just in time to have a hand covering his mouth and his body being pulled towards something warm — He looks up, and his stomach does another flip but this time it slips and absolutely falls to the center of the earth.

Toya is here.

Akito looks at the house, too, and then at the windows. He notices from where he is that there is a back door leading to where they are.

Toya sighs, and that catches all of Akito's attention. The former turns with an unreadable expression as he slowly takes his hands off.

“You are here.”

Akito doesn't know how to reply to that after all this time, as if the words suddenly fell and scattered all around him.

When he tries to open his mouth, all he still feels is the taste of the cake.

*

Toya brought him to a hidden part of the garden, somewhere close to the flowers — He had shaked his head back then and grabbed Akito's hand, leading him through this maze.

Now they sat under a tree.

“... I’m sorry.” Is the first thing to break the silence. A small whisper that is quickly carried away by the still cold wind, but Toya is still able to hear it.

“I am, too.”

Akito lifts his head.

( when had he lowered it? )

Toya huffs. “It's been a while, hasn't it—?”

“I still want to sing with you,” Akito blurts out. “What I had said back then, when you wanted to leave street singing, I was a hypocrite. I pushed you away from me.”

“And even so, I made my own mistakes as well. I should have waited until you were prepared to tell me.”

Toya fiddles with a small white flower on both of his hands. Akito has learned over all that time that Toya usually fiddles with things or puts his hands in his pockets when he is nervous.

“But I was worse.”

“Were you?”

“I was.”

“How so?” Toya leans forward, interest picked. Akito looks away.

“I just was. Does everything need a reason? I'm blaming myself here, you know?”

“You're always so hard on yourself. Why?”

Why…? Wasn't it always like that?

“...”

“But I'm not mad,” He continued, not waiting for Akito to reply. “That's how you always were, right? Someone that does anything to achieve what they want because they never got the talent nor the support they've always wanted.”

Why are his eyes watering?

“Even if you walked all the way here. I never told you where I lived, nor have you told me where you live, so I guess that was expected, considering how I would have probably avoided you if I saw you at school.”

“...”

“But you beat me to it once three days have passed and I haven't seen you even once. I guess that was to be expected, since you've always wanted to skip class.”

Toya lets out something akin to a laugh at the end.

“It's always been like that. You, I mean. Always like that.”

“What do you mean, ‘that’?”

“I don't know.”

He knows. Oh well.

The redhead wasn't one to cry often, but when the need to let out a few tears came, it was just impossible to push it away. He looks around for some sort of distraction, but nothing catches his attention more than the person beside him.

But being the stubborn little shit he is, Akito holds it in.

“I'm sorry.”

“... I know.”

“Why are you not mad at me? After what I did?”

“I'm sure you had your reasons.”

That made Akito snap his head towards Toya. “Dude. You have every reason to be mad at me.”

“I punched you.”

“Well, I did too, so what?”

Toya pursed his lips. “You bled.”

Akito shaked his head. “I deserved it.”

“... You were injured.”

“What?”

“The makeup you were using,” Toya looks at Akito's cheek. “My hand was a little dirty because of something. When I saw it closely, it was makeup.”

Akito inwardly inhales. Ena said that makeup was going to last for at least a day.

“But I won't question you.”

“Dude.”

Toya shakes his head too, finally crumbling the flower in his hands and throwing the poor thing somewhere behind them. “I don't want to hear it.”

“I'm just glad we are talking again, you know? After all this time. I don't care about what happened that night, I just want things to go back like they were before.”

And then silence — Akito expected them to have a super serious conversation, but in the end he just… Doesn't care?

As if sensing Akito's stare on him, Toya turns his head.

“... You don't make sense.”

The other shrugs, a small smile slipping onto his face. A pretty shade of pink dusts his cheeks. “Because of what you said a while ago.”

“I still want to be your partner, too.

*

“So… You walk all this way to Scramble Crossing?”

“Ah, no. I go through that street. It has a few shortcuts so I don't walk a lot.”

“...”

“You… Came through the longest way, didn't you?”

“Let's just go.”

Laughter resonates through the street.

*

“Are you sure you don't want me to hold that for you?”

“Not really,” Akito adjusts the canvas in a more comfortable position. “Why? Was I making that face again?”

“No,” Toya shakes his head. “It's just that… That canvas is big. Bigger than your arms. But if you make that face again, I'll tell you.”

“Thanks.”

Akito and Toya ran into a small shop that sold arts & crafts stuff for a considerably cheap price. Since Akito had some money in his pocket, he decided to buy a canvas.

Might as well paint while he still can; While his mind is still fresh and inspiration inside home.

“And… Here we are.” Akito raises an arm to point at a house: his.

Unlike Toya's street, the place where Akito lives is much livelier. There are kids playing around and cars passing by.

“I would have never guessed.” Toya mutters beside him, looking at the second floor.

Akito hums as he fumbles with the keys. Both boys are now in front of the house's door. The keys make multiple clinks when each one of them is looked closely.

“Are you sure you still want to go inside?” The redhead asks, for the unpeteenth time.

“Yes. I don't want what happened last time to repeat again,” Toya says, voice firm. “I want to protect you. This time.”

“Okay,” A shaky breath. “Okay.”

Akito's hand is trembling. Maybe because he is starving. Or because he is almost collapsing due to what Toya just said.

Oh God. He really is head over heels for the boy now behind him, isn't he?

The door creaks as it opens, the sounds of the street now muffled by one coming from the TV. When Akito takes his third step inside, the couch makes a pitiful sound as a heavy weight is lifted from it.

His father's shadow glooms over the corridor, getting smaller and smaller, meaning that he is approaching — And lo and behold, there it was. Father opens his mouth to say something, his face furious, but it quickly shatters as he sees someone behind Akito.

“Dad.”

“... Son.”

His hold on the door handle tightens. The word leaves a bitter taste in his mouth, unlike the cake from before. How dare this man call him that so casually when someone is nearby?

It makes Akito's blood boil.

Nevertheless, he doesn't say anything. “I decided to bring a friend, I hope you won't mind.”

“Not at all.”

Father eyes the blank canvas. When he looks at Akito again, it is with a glint of confusion, or perhaps surprise.

“It's nice to meet you, Mr. Shinonome,” Toya says behind him, his tone polite. “I am Aoyagi Toya.”

“Aoyagi?” He tilts his head. “Is your father a pianist by any chance?”

“He is, sir.”

“I heard some classical compositions that he made, they were truly beautiful.”

Toya smiles, one that doesn't reach his eyes. “Indeed. I have seen your art too. A little, but enough to know your talent. They were wonderful.”

Father's smile widens. “Thank you. Does your father—”

“If you don't mind,” Akito interrupts the clearly uncomfortable conversation. “We are going up.”

He adjusts the canvas in his hold again as he grabs the keys, finally closing the door and completely muffling the noise outside.

Akito gives Toya a small glare as he goes upstairs, the similar echo of his footsteps being his clue that Toya was still behind him. And just like that, Dad doesn't try to start a conversation anymore.

It is only when they manage to get on the second floor that Akito musters a sigh of relief.

“... I'm sorry about him.”

“I don't mind, really. I'm used to it at this point.”

*

“This is my room.”

Akito carefully grabs the canvas holder and puts the canvas on top of it. Since it had the shape of a rectangle, he decided to let it lay down.

Once he turns, he sees Toya looking around the room. Akito huffs from where he stands. Toya looks like a kid walking around the toy section when their mom allows them to choose and buy anything they like.

He hasn't moved — That is, until he found Akito's little corner where he keeps the paint bottles, right beside the canvas. Toya reaches a tentative hand, and then he looks at Akito. The latter nods, not really understanding.

“You have a lot of colors, maybe all.” Toya mutters in awe.

“The red isn't mine though, so almost.”

Talking about that, Akito forgot to give Ena her bottle back… But he can always give it later. Plus, she is totally sleeping right now, and Akito currently has a guest.

“Anyway, I think I already know what I want to paint.”

Toya raises his head, carefully putting the bottle in its proper place. “What is it?”

“That will be a surprise.”

*

It's not bad to paint with some company.

Toya makes a few comments here and there, stuff about how talented Akito's art looks and something along the lines of how unique it is.

When Akito asked why, Toya had pointed to a part of the canvas, a decent one, and said ‘This one is a part where the field feels complete, even though it is simply made by a few strokes and has some white parts.’ ‘... Do I still paint that side though, or is it good enough?’ The redhead had frowned, eyes not averting from where Toya had pointed. A genuine question hangs in the air. Toya was silent for a moment. Akito doesn't look at him to question. ‘It's good enough for me. Don't worry.’ It was after this particular conversation that everything went silent. The other seemed content enough with just watching Akito paint small parts of the canvas, never reaching the main subject: the middle.

At some point, Akito noticed how dazed Toya acted some time later ( he didn't bother to check the time ). Toya would let his head fall to the front and then abruptly sit straight, as if Akito wouldn't notice.

Akito didn't even think twice before sending him off to sleep a little, giving the usual excuse of ‘I will wake you up when I'm finished’.

Toya had sheepishly grinned, but did what Akito told nevertheless. On his bed. If Toya was thinking properly he would have asked Akito for permission.

… Oh well, it's not like Akito would put his partner to sleep on the floor.

And now, Akito stands in front of the canvas alone.

Now that the problem with Toya has ended, life will be easier now. Akito will go to school, participate in shows, and… Paint.

Akito reaches one hand to a lonely blue stroke in the middle. This stroke will turn into a trunk, and then a whole tree. — The stroke is not brown, however. It's blue. Light blue.

That does not make sense, does it? But, perhaps for this painting, a blue tree will.

When Toya is sitting under it, that is.

Oh for fuck's sake—

Akito grabs his brush and paints, pushing all of these thoughts away. He might never have talked with a professional, with someone that could teach him, or even someone that makes art, but he tries.

There was one time where Akito saw Ena's drawing once.

The truth is, that same day, he tried to do one — back at the time, he had used a simple paper and color pencils. As expected, it did not reach his expectations, so he just crumpled the paper and threw it in the trash.

Ena's drawing was a landscape… Painted with oil, if Akito remembers correctly. His first drawing, on the other side, was a simple soccer ball.

His shade was terrible, the forms were uneven, and even the form of the item looked like anything but a circle.

Akito hasn't seen any of Ena's art ever since.

He hasn't forgotten that landscape. He won't dare to.

In a way, Ena brought Akito to two sides, did she not…? Street singing and art.

( He vaguely wonders if she knows that. If not by noticing it, then maybe when he asked for a red paint from Ena at that time. )

He wants to get closer to her, he really does, but she just seems to be worried about something right now. That… Plushie he saw, maybe it had to do something with her problem.

It's painful to watch, but Akito can't help her. If it is because of art, he doesn't know shit. If it is personal, he can't help because they were never close to the point of sharing opinions with each other, and… Father.

Akito raises a hand to touch his now fully healed cheek. It doesn't hurt anymore.

Akito turns around in his seat to look at the sleeping boy in his bed. A fond smile immediately spreads in his face — Toya is turned to him. His face looks so peaceful when he is sleeping.

How did Akito get so lucky to get a partner like Toya? What did he do to deserve someone like him?

He's happy like this.

He might not have a say on Dad's problem, but maybe something in the future, someday, will change, and then nothing will be like what it is now.

But, as long as Akito has Toya by his side, everything will be fine.

‘I… Did that because of you, too. I do all of this because of both of you.’ He thinks.

The brush now has another shade of blue. Deft hands carefully spread the color around the middle of the canvas, erasing the blank, white color.

The tree feels more complete now.

‘Thank you,

Ena, Toya.

Thank you.’

*

When someone knocks on Akito's door and asks him to buy cheesecake, he doesn't say anything as he leaves the house.

Carefully, as to not wake up the sleeping boy.

When that same person that knocked on his door bombards him with questions, he answers most of them.

And, when Akito comes back to his room to see a boy with ginger hair laying on the grass beside the boy with blue hair in the canvas, he feels his chest flutter.

The canvas feels… Complete, now.

Toya smiles from where he is seated in front of the canvas.