Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Why… why was it so bright?

Hawks wrinkled his nose, pushing aside the soft blanket that the Commission had given him. Why was he on the floor? He vaguely remembered not wanting to go to sleep, but why…

A surprised chirp escaped before Hawks could keep it in, and he was so glad he was still alone in his room. No one should have to hear his animal noises.

Hawks hurriedly looked down at his own arm, and disappointment stirred in his gut.

The skin was still blank.

Hawks turned it over, but the other side was blank, as well. Hawks tried to force aside his disappointment. His soulmate wouldn’t know that they could write to each other now, only Hawks would know that his birthday had passed. Of course there wasn’t any writing. Hawks would have to contact them first. He shoved his blanket off his lap, frantically searching for the pen he’d kept by his side last night. He had to do this before–

The door opened.

Hawks winced.

Silence.

Cautiously, Hawks peeked up.

His handler stood in the doorway, his lips pulled downward into a harsh frown. That frown always meant extra training. His handler’s brisk voice pulled Hawks from his thoughts. “Hawks. What did we discuss yesterday?”

Hawks swallowed. “In order to be a good hero, I have to put training before everything else. This birthday is no different from any other day.” Hawks knew he couldn’t be distracted from his training, but this was his soulmate! Surely they would support him, not distract him! It was only when people weren’t soulmates like his parents when bad things–

“If today is the same as every other day, then why are you still in your sleepwear and sitting on the floor?”

“I’m sorry! I overslept and fell off my bed when I woke up. It won’t happen again!”

His handler’s shoulders relaxed, the frown lines disappearing from his face. “As a hero, tardiness can result in citizens losing their lives. You must work on becoming faster in your duties.”

“Yes, sir!” Hawks scrambled for the bottom drawer of his nightstand, pulling out some clean clothes.

Thank goodness the marker was still hidden somewhere under his blanket.

Hawks quickly changed and ran to the training area, but he was still five minutes late.

Five minutes late meant people could die. He couldn’t be five minutes late. That was why every minute he was late meant ten minutes of extra training. Today, his handler added even more time. He said it was because Hawks had overslept in addition to being late.

Hawks didn’t bother trying to argue. Heroes had to be perfect.

And Hawks wanted to be a hero.

When training finally ended, Hawks rushed through his shower, but still didn’t reach his room until ten minutes before the building’s lights shut off. Quickly, Hawks found the pen tangled in his blanket and wrote out, “Hi! I just turned seven!”

He hoped his soulmate responded.

Hawks didn’t know what he would do if they were younger than him. He didn’t want to wait. And he’d never known anyone younger than him. Not that he’d ever really known anyone his own age, either. And what would happen if they tried to contact him while he was training? The Commission wouldn’t let Hawks respond. He was sure of it.

Hawks knew soulmates were a distraction.

But they were soulmates.

He twisted the pen’s cap anxiously, trying to focus on not letting his feathers ruffle in agitation. How could a soulmate be a bad thing? Avoiding your soulmate was bad! It led to people like his parents and Hawks never wanted to be like them, so–

His arm was itching!

Hawks eyes widened as one by one, letters appeared on his arm in an unfamiliar tight scrawl.

Finally! Took you long enough.

His soulmate was older than him! Hawks grinned at his arm, a quiet chirp escaping.

He had a soulmate.

An actual soulmate. Someone who would always be with him.

Hawks quickly wrote out, How old are you?

Nine. But I turn ten in a few weeks! You made me wait three years!

Three years?! That was forever! I’m sorry! I’m here now, though! How had his soulmate managed to wait that long?! Hawks had barely managed to wait just for today.

I guess. But don’t write to me during the day!” Hawks sighed in relief, waiting as more letters began to appear. Talking like this was so slow! I train with my Dad and he wouldn’t like it.

That’s ok! I train during the day, too. My trainers would get mad if they saw me writing. They don’t like distractions. Keigo bit his lip. He wanted to know more. What type of training do you do?

I’m going to be a hero! The best one ever, just like my Dad.

A hero? Like his Dad?! And the best one–Is your Dad Endeavor?!

Keigo felt like his heart stopped as he waited for his soulmate’s scrawl to appear. It was messier now. More rushed.

Yeah! I’m his oldest son! And I’m going to burn even hotter than he will! So I have to go to sleep now. Training starts really early.

Mine too! Good night!

His soulmate didn’t respond.

The lights shut off overhead, plunging Hawks’ room into darkness. Thanks to his quirk, though, Hawks could still see the writing on his arm.

He had a soulmate! Not only that, it was Endeavor’s son!

His handler said that soulmates weren’t dependable and that Hawks should only trust people like them, who he knew had his best interests at heart.

But this was Endeavor’s son! And Hawks’ soulmate. Surely that meant he was ok to trust?

Hawks pulled on one of his long sleeve sleep shirts, hiding the messy writing before setting his alarm for five minutes earlier. He’d have to wash off the writing before his handler saw.

Over the next few weeks, Hawks managed to write to his soulmate every night. They could never talk long since they were both busy training, but Hawks was actually talking to his soulmate! To someone his own age! Well, mostly his age. A lot closer to his age than the handlers were. And he was careful to clean off the words after every time, so the Commission didn’t know anything.

It was his own secret.

But once they knew that his soulmate was another future hero, surely it would be ok? Hawks had been doing really well in training! He hadn’t received any punishments since his birthday, and one time his handler had even told him ‘good job’!

Hawks still didn’t dare tell his handler. He didn’t know why, but it felt really nice to have this one secret.

Touya–his soulmate had told Hawks his name the second night!–mostly talked about himself. The only things he ever asked Hawks were about training exercises he did and… well, Touya had asked for his name. The Commission had told Hawks never to tell anyone his real name, but…

Well, this was his soulmate. And Touya had given Hawks his full name, so it had to be ok, right? It’s not like Touya cared that Hawks’ father was a villain. Not when Touya’s father had already captured the man. Hawks was training to be a hero now, and that was what mattered. Besides, Touya had an amazing father, and if one of them had super awesome luck, it made sense that the other one didn’t, right? Because soulmates had to balance each other out.

Except… Touya didn’t always like his own father, either.

He said Endeavor was disappointed in him. That Touya’s quirk wasn’t strong enough, and that Endeavor was planning on training his younger brother, instead.

Hawks wanted so badly to give Touya a hug. He told him to come to the Commission so they could train together, but Touya said it wouldn’t count. That he had to prove himself to his dad and couldn’t rely on someone else’s help.

That Hawks was an idiot for trusting that adults would help him.

Hawks hadn’t been able to sleep that night.

He didn’t understand. Fire quirks were great for heroes! Even if Touya’s flames weren’t as strong as Endeavor’s, quirk training made your quirk stronger! Hawks’ wings were already ten times stronger than when he’d started. Why would Endeavor tell Touya he wasn’t good enough?

Heroes didn’t cast aside their children.

They didn’t.

That’s what villains did. What Hawks’ dad had wanted to do.

Hawks had never gone a night without sleep before. It was really hard to pay attention to everything like normal. His brain felt slow. Like he was trying to fly through syrup. But he kept pushing! Hawks knew he had to be faster. He did. But he was just so tired…

His foot stumbled on the track, and Hawks barely caught himself before he hit the ground face-first. He winced, a surprised chirp escaping as a sharp pain shot through his leg. .

“What did you just say?”

Hawks winced and hurried to stand back up, bowing quickly as an apology. “I’m sorry! It just came out! My leg–”

“Chirps are not speech, Hawks.” His handler sighed, their clipboard falling to their side. “You’re a human: you should only say actual words. Do three extra laps around the track and make sure that you don’t slip up again or the consequences will be much more severe.”

Hawks winced and nodded, already resuming his run.

He had to be fast. Even when he messed up, his extra training would help him become stronger.

Hawks had to be able to help people. Had to be fast enough to save others as quickly as possible. Had to make sure another kid never had to wait in a shack, waiting on a hero to save them.

Training went long that day.

Hawks’ mistakes kept piling up, no matter how hard he tried. It was so hard to be fast when he was this tired!! And his leg kept hurting, but he didn’t dare ask for help. Heroes didn’t get help. And he would have sleepless nights when he was a hero. Hawks had to be able to perform well no matter what. There weren’t any excuses when people’s lives were at risk.

Hawks knew that. But it was hard to make his body obey him.

His left arm itched.

Hawks’ eyes widened.

Normally it was fine for Touya to write at this time of night, but Hawks still had twenty-five more push-ups before he was released.

Hawks closed his eyes, praying that Touya didn’t write much. When the itching stopped after a few seconds, Hawks exhaled in relief.

Thank goodness Touya only ever gave short greetings. Hawks didn’t dare look down. Not when that would draw his handler’s attention to it.

Somehow, Hawks managed to escape before his handler noticed.

Hawks was even faster than usual in the shower, practically running back to his room so that he could respond to his soulmate’s greeting.

Sorry! Training went long. Hawks paused, biting his lip before adding, I was so tired that I accidentally chirped today. Would his soulmate hate bird traits? It wasn’t natural, so–

You chirp? Cute. But why would that make your training run long?

Hawks didn’t understand.

Cute?

But…

His mom had hated when he’d chirped. His father had been even worse. And the Commission… The Commission says that it’s not natural. That people won’t like a hero who acts like a bird.

That’s bs. Animal quirks are cool! Not as cool as fire, though.

You think so? Hawks had never thought of his quirk as cool. His mom had said mutation quirks were for freaks, and his dad had forbidden Hawks from using it.

Of course! Does that mean you have a bird quirk? Can you fly?! Flying is super great for hero work! So you have a bird quirk? I never actually asked.

Touya wanted to know more about Hawks’ quirk? No one ever wanted to know more! Well, except the Commission. But that was so they could train him. That was different. I have wings. My mom said they’re like a redtailed hawk’s. I can’t actually fly yet, but I can move my feathers around. They’re super fast! And the Commission says one day I’ll be able to fly, I just need to work up to it!

That’s awesome! I wonder if I could use my flames to go flying with you? I bet I can!

Flying together would be amazing! Hawks couldn’t wait!

What other bird stuff do you do?

What?

Touya wanted to know about the ways Hawks was birdlike? The Commission said that stuff was gross.

But Touya thought it was cute that Hawks chirped.

Hawks forced his feathers to remain calm. He couldn’t let them betray his emotions.

Maybe, though… maybe it would be ok. Maybe his soulmate wouldn’t think Hawks was gross. Slowly, he wrote out four words: My feet have talons.

Touya would have to hate those.

The Commission hated them. They said Hawks would need surgery once he was fully grown so that he could get rid of them.

So cool!

Hawks couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face. Touya didn’t mind the talons! He liked that Hawks was a bird!

I have really good eyesight like a hawk! And I like shiny things a lot! They’re so fun to look at, but I can get super distracted by them, and it makes the Commission mad. And I love perching up high on things!

Being on tall things is the best! One day, we’ll have to visit every mountain together.

Visiting a mountain with Touya?! Hawks’ wings fluffed up in excitement. He’d never gone on a trip before! And mountains were super tall!! Just imagining the view made Hawks want to chirp. I’d love that!

Then once we’re both heroes, that’s what we’ll do!

I can’t wait! Good night, Touya!

Hawks loved his evenings with Touya. It was only a few minutes, but that was fine! They could only write on their arms, anyway, so eventually they’d run out of room, and Hawks couldn’t risk running back and forth to the bathroom every night. He might run into his handler, and that would be a disaster. No, he had to stay safe in his room and wake up early to shower again and wash off all the writing. It was worth all the effort, though. Every second with Touya made him forget all the pain from the day’s training. And one day, they would be heroes together. Talking with Touya motivated Hawks! It would never distract him. He’d make sure of it.

Hawks knew Touya was still training. Endeavor hadn’t been training Touya for months, which Hawks didn’t understand, but Touya was working hard to prove to his dad that he could be strong enough. Touya could run a lot faster than Hawks and could lift more weight! He was going to be an amazing hero. Hawks told Touya about the non-quirk exercises that the Commission had him doing so that Touya could use those to keep training.

Together, they were getting stronger.

Sometimes, Touya talked about his siblings. He didn’t like to talk about Shouto since Endeavor was training him instead of Touya, but he’d mention Fuyumi every now and then, and he seemed to get along with his other brother, Natsuo. Touya mentioned complaining to Natsuo about training, at least. Hawks was glad that Touya had other people to talk with. It always helped Hawks when Touya let him complain about the Commission, though Hawks didn’t dare do it too much. He was too scared that the handler would see his arm before he could erase it.

The Commission only wanted what was best for him. They were helping him become a hero. He’d known that it would take a lot of work. Hawks was happy to do the work, no matter how tired it made him.

He wanted to help people. He’d do anything to help people.

Hawks stretched his feet, staring down at the talons that Touya always said were cool.

They didn’t look as ugly as they used to.

Hawks had been trying to figure out why Touya thought they were cool, and he thought he could kind of understand it now. The talons were annoying, but it was also nice to be able to pick things up with them.

But it didn't matter.

The Commission said people would be afraid of Hawks if he had talons, so he had to have surgery on them. And Touya had never actually seen them, so how could he know they were cool and not horrible? The Commission had seen them. They thought the talons were bad. That was all that mattered.

But maybe Hawks could keep them until after Touya saw them?

Hawks sighed, cradling his left arm in the dark room. Touya was later than usual. Hawks never wrote first–Touya said he had to make sure no one in his family could see.

He’d learned so much about Touya! Like the fact that he was right-handed, since he always started writing on his left arm, and his writing was a lot messier on his right arm. Touya’s favorite season was winter because he liked the cold. His birthday was January 18th, but his dad never celebrated it with him anymore. Touya liked playing sports with his brother, but Natsuo was stronger than him, so he had to trick him to win sometimes. But Touya always won. No matter what.

Hawks grinned when he felt the familiar itch.

I figured out a new trick with my quirk!!!

Really?! What is it? Touya was amazing, figuring out a new way to use his quirk all on his own. Hawks hadn’t been able to do any awesome skills with his feathers until the Commission started training him.

Not saying! Dad’s gonna be the first one I show.

What? The skill must be super awesome to make Endeavor spend time with Touya again! He’s going to let you show him? That’s great! Endeavor had been refusing to pay Touya any attention for the whole year, but Touya wasn’t giving up! They would still be heroes together.

I’ll tell you tomorrow night! With this, our dreams are one step closer, I know it!

Except the next night, the familiar itch never came. Hawks waited up for two whole hours, falling asleep as he cradled his arm.

When he woke up the next morning, his arm was still blank.

It was like there was this heavy ball in his stomach, weighing Hawks down. He couldn’t focus. Training was distracting.

Why hadn’t Touya written him?

He had to be ok, right?

But they talked every night! Touya never missed a night!

And the next night, Touya didn’t write, either.

Or the night after that.

Just like that, Todoroki Touya disappeared from Hawks’ life.

Chapter Text

Every year, the grave was the same.

Hawks kept expecting it to change, for there to be some sign that Touya wasn’t forgotten, but no matter what time of day he came, the grave was bare.

Hawks sighed, crouching down in front of the stone pagoda that bore the Todoroki family name. As always, it was immaculately clean, even if the incense holder and small flower vase were perpetually empty.

He reached out, slowly brushing the side of the grave, his gloved fingers trailing over each curve of the kanji that wrote Touya’s name in black.

A single black name surrounded by other names that were still alive.

Alone.

Without Touya, Hawks was alone in this world.

With each passing year, Hawks’ hope dwindled. He wished that this was all a mistake, that Touya was somehow alive, but this aching hole kept growing, gnawing at his hope and engulfing his entire chest in tight agony.

Hawks’ toes curled inside his boots, his bones throbbing.

It would rain soon.

Touya had always wanted to see Hawks’ talons, but after he was gone, it had seemed pointless to argue with the Commission that Hawks should keep them. That some people might like his talons. Everyone besides Touya had hated them, anyway.

And Touya was gone.

Hawks’ hand fell from the side of the grave.

There were more heroes supporting him than before, yet Hawks felt lonelier than ever.

He wasn’t supposed to be doing this alone. He was supposed to have a partner. They were supposed to save people and go on trips to the mountains.

Touya…

No matter how many times Hawks looked up the old articles, the facts never felt right to him.

How could Touya be dead?

He’d been so excited… and then nothing.

Nothing but the cold stone grave sitting in front of him.

A single feather drifted from Hawks’ wing, sliding gently into the vase at the base of the grave.

Hawks would have done anything to help Touya. But Touya had wanted to find his way on his own. To become strong without anyone else’s help. To prove to his father that he wasn’t weak.

Hawks swallowed, his eyes closing as he took a deep breath, trying to calm down and relax his tightening throat.

He only had a few minutes here. He couldn’t allow himself to become emotional. Soulmates were a distraction.

“Who are you?”

Hawks whirled around, wings flaring out as he bolted upright.

Endeavor.

Hawks’ eyes widened in shock, then narrowed as he studied the man in front of him.

The man who had saved his life.

The man whom his soulmate had hated.

The man Touya had wanted to talk to before he died.

Since they worked in different cities, Hawks had never seen Endeavor in person before, but he was so tall and intimidating… no wonder Touya had been so desperate to please his father. Endeavor looked like a hero should.

Not like Hawks, with his weak bird-like physique.

And Endeavor, the hero who had ignored Touya, had now come to Touya’s grave.

Why?

No one from the family ever came. Hawks’ head tilted to the side, his expression falling into the cold analysis of a raptor–the Commission told him he should only use this expression against villains, but Hawks didn’t care. Not right now. Not with Endeavor. Not with the man who had been there when Touya–

“Who are you? Why are you at my family’s grave?!”

Hawks didn’t move.

Flames appeared around Endeavor’s hand. “Answer me!”

Hawks shifted his face into a carefree smile. “I’m Hawks, a fellow pro hero! It’s nice to meet you, Endeavor-san!”

“A pro?” Endeavor’s forehead creased in confusion, but at least his flames disappeared. “Hawks… you’re the new hero who has been rising in the ranks. You were trained by the Hero Commission directly instead of going to UA.”

“That’s me!” Hawks gave the number two hero his brightest smile. “I’m flattered that you’ve heard of me.”

“Hero or not, you still haven’t answered my question.” Endeavor crossed his arms, clearly not willing to budge. Not that Hawks could blame him.

Hawks made his smile more strained. It was an awkward scenario. Showing awkwardness would put the hero more at ease. He rubbed the back of his neck for a few seconds to add a layer of nervousness. “Maybe this will help clear things up.” Hawks slowly began to take off his left glove, revealing the leather cuff he always wore around that wrist.

“I promise I’m not stalking you or anything. I’m just as surprised to see you here as you are to see me. I mean, it’s not like I’ve seen you here before.” Hawks couldn’t help the cold note that crept into his voice at that, but he quickly covered it up and held up his arm, slowly undoing the cuff around his left wrist and revealing pale, untanned skin. Right across the middle was a single name written in a child’s familiar scrawl: Todoroki Touya.

“How do you know about Touya?” Shit, it was like Endeavor had seen a ghost. His eyes were wide in shock, and his shoulders had gone stiff as a board. Hawks didn’t know why the man was so surprised–Hawks was here on Touya’s birthday after all.

Hawks let his left hand fall back down to his side. Shouldn’t it be obvious? There was only one way that Hawks would know Touya’s handwriting. “Touya was right handed, so he would always start our conversations on his left wrist.”

“You mean to say that you were his soulmate.”

Hawks frowned. “I wouldn’t use the past tense, but yeah.” He pulled himself up to his full height–not that it was anything compared to Endeavor’s, but still. He had to try. Hawks tilted his chin, letting his eyes slip back into their piercing raptor gaze. “Touya last wrote to me saying that he wanted to show you something the next day.”

Silence.

Endeavor was frowning at the ground, his jaw tense.

Hawks waited. He’d already waited years. And now he might finally have an answer. He might know how Touya…

“I’m sorry. Touya did want to show me something, but he died in an accident.”

Shit.

Hearing that out loud hurt so much. Even after all these years of visiting Touya’s grave, Hawks had hoped…

Hawks swallowed. Now wasn’t the time for emotions. Not when he could finally get some answers. Touya hadn’t been fond of Endeavor. But maybe Endeavor had become better since then.

It had been years, after all. A whole decade.

The number two hero sighed. “You want to know more.”

“How could I not? He’s my soulmate.” Hawks took a deep breath, his feathers ruffling behind him as he tried to keep them from sharpening because of his anger. He couldn’t show aggression. Not toward another hero. “The last I heard from Touya, he was excited. He said he’d figured out something with his quirk that would change your mind about whether or not he could be a hero.”

“I didn’t know he wrote to you.”

Hawks’ answering nod was tight. “Every night after I turned seven. It was always just for a few minutes: he didn’t want you to know, and I didn’t want the Commission to know, and we both wanted to focus on training. I’m three years younger than him, so we didn’t have too many years before… well.” Hawks grimaced. “We didn’t have much time.”

Endeavor nodded. “You’re nineteen, correct? So you would only have been nine when he died.”

Two years. Hawks had only had two years with his soulmate, but Touya had still changed his life.

Hawks’ hands tightened into fists. “What was Touya excited about, Endeavor-san? The night before he disappeared… He was so happy! More excited than I’d ever known him. And then he never responded. He told me he had learned a new move and wanted to tell you before anyone else. I went years without knowing why.” Hawks closed his eyes. At least he now knew for sure that it wasn’t because Hawks wasn’t good enough. It wasn’t because Touya had grown sick of having a bird for a soulmate.

Shit, Hawks’ throat was so tight.

“I don’t know.”

What? Hawks looked back up at the hero, startled. “How… how could you not know? He was determined to tell you!”

Endeavor shook his head. “Touya wanted to show me something he’d figured out with his quirk, but I didn’t want to encourage him to hurt himself further, so I didn’t meet with him on the mountain like he wanted.”

“You didn’t meet him.” Hawks couldn’t understand. Touya had been so sure that Endeavor would come. If Endeavor had never gone… Touya had been alone when he died. No one had been there to help him. To save him. “Your son was desperate to show you something, and you didn’t go.”

“Don’t be so quick to judge me!” Endeavor’s voice was angry, but Hawks didn’t care. No justification could warrant this. “Touya’s quirk was hurting his body! His body was meant for ice, not fire, and he burned himself every time he used his quirk. I couldn’t encourage him to keep going down that path.”

“There’s support gear for that!” How could… “How could you just ignore him?! Touya would’ve done anything for your approval! Anything!”

Damn it, Hawks was starting to cry. He scrubbed at his eyes with his hand, willing the tears to go away. After all these years, he still would never know the truth. Would never know what had happened. Never know how his soulmate died.

Endeavor had completely ignored Touya.

Ignored Hawks’ soulmate.

“Hawks, I will always regret that night. Touya… He started a forest fire on the mountain. We never found his body, but there is no way he could have survived.”

A forest fire.

With his body’s weakness to fire, there really was no way Touya could have survived. Not without his father’s help.

How ironic. Killed by the very flames Touya had loved so much.

Hawks rubbed at his face.

Touya was dead.

They would never find each other and reconnect.

Hawks would never again see words on his arm. Would never be able to meet him. To see Touya smile. Hear his voice.

Hawks’ fingers tightened around his hair, and he released a choked gasp.

Hawks had known.

He’d known that Touya was dead.

So why did it still hurt so much?

“Is there anything you want to know?” Endeavor’s voice was quiet. Like he didn’t want to say the words, but didn’t believe he could leave without giving Hawks what he wanted. What Hawks deserved.

“What did he look like?”

Hawks had never known. They’d never cared to tell each other. They’d been so young… all they’d talked about was training and dreams of the future.

Dreams that could never happen. Not for Touya.

“He had my eyes, but was tall and thin like his mother. His hair was red when he was born, but the more he used his quirk….” Endeavor shook his head, “You have to understand, Hawks, his body couldn’t take the stress. His hair turned completely white. I just wanted him to be safe.”

Safe.

As if a hero could make someone safe by ignoring them when they were in need. “We seem to have different ideas about what ‘safe’ means, Endeavor-san. Mine involves someone not dying.”

The man stiffened. “I did what I thought best at the time. Obviously I was wrong.”

“Obviously.” Hawks’ eyes narrowed. At least the guy looked depressed about it. “Why have you never visited Touya’s grave?”

“I didn’t deserve to.”

Hawks’ eyebrows rose. “Yeah, you got that right, at least. What changed your mind about today, then?”

Endeavor’s jaw tightened. “None of your business.”

“Touya will always be my business.”

That made the man sigh. “Look, I can… I can have Fuyumi send you pictures, if you’d like. She and Natsuo would be able to tell you more about Touya.”

“Because you ignored him.”

Those cold blue eyes sharpened into a glare as Endeavor clenched his fists. “Do you want the pictures or not?”

Hawks stared at the hero for a second, then nodded. “Yeah, fine.” A picture really would be nice. To actually be able to see his soulmate… the thought made his chest ache.

Hawks let out a slow, steady breath. He had one other question. He’d promised himself that he’d ask this. “You’re spending time with them, right? All of them, not just Shouto-kun.”

Endeavor’s face immediately changed. “I understand your grief, but how I’ve raised my children is none of your business. Natsuo and Fuyumi are old enough to take care of themselves.” Endeavor turned and stormed away, not even bothering to say something to Touya’s grave before he left.

Well, Hawks definitely got his answer to that question.

Endeavor hadn’t changed.

Hawks crouched back down in front of the grave with a sigh, reaching out and running his fingers over the ice-cold curves of Touya’s name.

The stone was always so uninviting, but Hawks still felt drawn back every year. Besides his tattoo, it was the only connection with Touya that Hawks had left.

“I’ll become a better hero than Endeavor. For both of us. For all those kids that need someone’s help. I.. I’ll make sure that no one else has to have the childhood that we did.”

It was the same promise that Hawks made every year, but his throat constricted around the words and Hawks struggled to force them out.

Vibrations from his coat pocket interrupted Hawks’ thoughts, but it took him a second to realize what they meant.

His phone alarm.

His lunch break was over.

Hawks swallowed, rearranging his face into a relaxed expression, then took off with a flap of his wings.

A hero was never allowed to be late.

Today, though, the streets below him were quiet.

Hawks sighed at the headline on the magazine below, then forced himself to look elsewhere, scanning the city for any signs of a disturbance.

Sometimes he wished his eyesight wasn’t so sharp. That he could escape the gossip, even if only while he was in the sky.

Everyone wanted to know why Japan’s #1 bachelor had never settled down with his soulmate.

Some speculated the obvious (and correct) answer: that his soulmate was dead. That didn’t have any profitable drama to it, though, so most people kept guessing other things, and the Commission didn’t want Hawks to comment, since in their opinion any publicity was good publicity.

Hawks sighed again. He didn’t want to talk about Touya with anyone. Those moments were private. All he’d ever told the Commission was that he’d tried a few times and never received a response.

He wished the Commission would let him tell people that his soulmate was dead. All the intrigue was annoying, even if it did keep people interested in him.

Touya….

In the end, the Commission had been right.

Touya would always be nothing more than a distraction. He’d never be Hawks’ partner as a hero. Endeavor had made sure of it.

Chapter Text

Hawks’ eyes scanned the dimly lit bar, searching for his target. The Hideaway was unofficial neutral ground owned by an information broker who served heroes and villains alike. If anyone raised a fuss, you’d never hear a peep of info from her or her patrons ever again.

It was exactly the kind of place where you might find one of the League of Villains, but it was not the kind of place frequented by popular ‘daylight’ heroes like Hawks. No, this was more the territory of his underground counterparts, and that was exactly what everyone here thought he was.

With his wings hidden, sunglasses over his eyes, and hair dyed a deep purple, no one here knew him as the number two hero.

“Night Owl!” The bartender, Forest, winked at Keigo as he slid onto a stool. “This makes three nights this week. We don’t usually see you around this often.”

Hawks shrugged, pitching his voice lower than usual as he responded, “Just give me my usual, please.”

“Of course!” She turned away from him, and Hawks shifted to study the bar’s other occupants. No one from the League was here, at least not yet. He might have to barter for information on their whereabouts if none of them showed up soon.

“Looking for someone?” There was a soft thump behind him as Forest set down his drink.

Hawks turned and smiled at her. “Wouldn’t you like to know?” Forest wasn’t the information broker that ran the place, but she used the same currency.

Forest rolled her eyes. “You underground heroes are more paranoid than the actual villains; it’s no fun if you won’t share some gossip.”

Hawks shrugged and picked up the koshikari, taking his first sip of the beer and savoring the slightly fruity taste. Forest huffed and turned her back on him, already searching for a more interesting customer.

But then the door opened and Hawks’ luck changed.

Dabi.

The worst match-up Hawks could ask for, really, but he couldn’t afford to be picky. “Forest-san.” She turned back to him, her eyes lighting up when Keigo nodded toward Dabi, who was slowly moving toward the bar. “I’d like to have a more private conversation. Would you ask him to meet me in one of the private rooms?”

Her green eyes studied him. “Room three’s available, but remember the rules, hero.”

Hawks raised both his hands, “I’m not here for a fight, just information.”

“Then I’ll tell him.”

Hawks nodded his thanks, already grabbing his drink and heading toward the back rooms. This place was built for privacy. Forest would chat with Dabi for a bit, waiting a while before she told him he had a visitor. No one would know if Dabi was talking with Hawks, someone else who was already in the back, or waiting for a new person to arrive.

Hawks slipped inside room three, shutting the door behind him. He took off his sunglasses, tossing them carelessly onto the table. If this was going to work, Dabi needed to know he was talking with Hawks, not a random underground hero. Any hero was likely to be a spy–being number two meant he could get the League information that they couldn’t afford to dismiss right away.

Hawks was halfway through his beer when the door opened again, and he looked up to meet familiar blue eyes.

Why were they familiar?

“Night Owl, huh?” Dabi shut the door, his posture tense for a few seconds before he slowly relaxed and leaned back against the door, tilting his head as he studied Hawks. “Why does the number two hero have an underground alias, and why are you using it to talk to me?”

Hawks grinned. “You caught on a lot faster than I expected.”

“Obviously you wanted me to, or you wouldn’t have taken those off.” He gestured at the sunglasses on the table. “It’s not a bad disguise, other than that. But tell me why you wanted to talk, or I’m out of here.”

“Straight to business, then.” Hawks gave the villain his usual chipper smile. “I want to join the League.”

“Fuck no.”

Yeah, ok, Hawks probably deserved that look of derision. “Look, I get it, I’m suspicious, but you’ve already seen that there’s more to me than the public sees. No one knows about my underground work, after all.”

Dabi’s eyes narrowed. “You’re a hero. Why would you want to join the League?”

“Because I’ve seen how corrupt heroes are. I know our society needs change, and no matter how much I try to fight from within the system, it’s never enough.”

The villain snorted, raising one eyebrow in a silent challenge. “That sounds nice, but it’s definitely not enough to convince me.”

Of course he wanted more. Hawks would need to provide specifics, not just vague platitudes. He let his feathers ruffle nervously, then rubbed at the back of his neck. Dabi wasn’t leaving. Hawks could work with this. “Alright, look. What I said is the truth, but you’re right that there’s more to it. I have more mutations than the Commission lets me show the public, ok? When I started hero work, I thought I could help make things easier for others with mutation quirks, but instead I’m forced to abide by these restricting rules and ordered to distance myself from my fellow heteromorphs because it would be bad for my image.”

Dabi was studying him, looking for any sign of a lie, but Hawks didn’t let his expression slip. Right now, his mask needed to be nervous, but genuine and earnest.

“The Commission doesn’t control heroes’ images like that.”

How did Dabi know that?

Hawks would file that knowledge away, but for now it was easy to explain. “They do with me. They trained me since I was young. Practically bought me from my mom when I was just six years old. I can’t do anything to oppose them.”

There was something in Dabi’s gaze that bugged Hawks. Almost like he wasn’t surprised by anything Hawks was saying. But that couldn’t be true. No one outside of the Commission knew about his mutations or details about how his training began. They’d made sure of it.

Dabi smirked at him. “Can’t do anything, huh? And yet you’re here.”

Hawks tried not to wince. “They think I’m here to gather information on another case. But I can’t keep doing what they tell me to. I want to help more people, and living like this… it isn’t enough.”

Silence.

Hawks sighed. “You want proof? How about this: I’ll take off my shoes and show you proof that the Commission hates my mutations.”

Dabi’s eyes narrowed. “What, do you have talons or something?”

Talk about a lucky guess. “I used to.” Hawks took a deep breath, then reached down, unzipping the side of each boot and sliding them off. Slowly, he peeled away each black sock.

He didn’t look at his feet.

Hawks knew what he’d see. Knew how hideous they were. The scars that covered the tip of each foot where normally people had toenails. Where his talons had once been before the Commission had forced Hawks to have them surgically removed.

The surgery had been their last test before Hawks moved out of the building and became a pro.

The last moment before he’d gotten his tattoo, as well.

It had taken him months to re-learn how to walk. The Commission hadn’t cared–sure they had paid for the physical therapy, but Hawks could still do hero work as long as he could fly.

“What did they do to you?” Hawks tilted his head as he watched Dabi’s face. He’d expected horror, not… pain. Not sympathy. Not this quiet voice that sounded like Dabi was seconds away from turning the entire Commission into cinders.

Then again, Dabi had his own scars to bear.

Hawks shrugged, looking away from Dabi’s face. “Like I said, I had talons once, but the Commission isn’t fond of mutation quirks. My wings are useful. The talons? Not so much.” He paused, waiting for Dabi to look up and meet his eyes before he declared, “I’m not their pet. I won’t be. Not anymore.”

“We’ll burn them to the ground.”

Shit, Dabi’s voice was gravelly when he was pissed and it should not make Hawks nearly this happy that he was ticked off on Hawks’ behalf. The villain’s grin was vicious, almost manic, and Hawks felt so out of his depth.

What had he said that made Dabi so angry? Sure, the Commission’s methods were extreme, but they worked. Thanks to them, Hawks was one of the best heroes in the country. He was able to save countless people. And maybe losing his talons was an extreme price for that, but Hawks would do anything to give people peace of mind. Even if he didn’t really understand why it was necessary.

Maybe sometimes in the back of his mind, Hawks thought the people who had mutations like talons needed someone to show that they weren’t horrible. Needed someone to show them that talons could be cool.

But that wasn’t Hawks.

That had always been Touya.

And without Touya…

Well, Hawks would focus on saving the people he could save.

Right now, that meant convincing this dangerous villain that Hawks wanted to be a spy for him. Hawks shifted his face into a smile. “It’s been a long time since someone has been angry on my behalf. Does that mean you believe me?”

Dabi closed his eyes for a second, his right hand reaching up to rub his arm, but he pulled it away after only a second and shrugged as he opened his eyes again. “I at least believe that the Commission treats you like trash. It’s pretty obvious that those bastards hate mutation quirks. As for the rest…” He studied Hawks for a second, then smirked. “Fine. I’ll play your game, birdy. Help the League’s cause by bringing me all the information about heroes you can.”

The Commission definitely wasn’t going to like a one-way agreement, but Hawks couldn’t risk pressing for more. He gave the villain a relieved grin. “Glad to hear it! I’ll work on proving myself to you, hot stuff.” Hawks threw in a wink for extra measure, and Dabi’s eyebrows rose.

“Clearly enhanced eyesight isn’t part of your quirk, but whatever. If you’re so eager to help, what intel can you give me?”

“Like right now?” Hawks blinked. “Any specific topic, or…?”

“Like I’d give you a hint about the League’s movements.”

Hawks sighed. “I can’t help if I don’t know what kind of info you guys want! But fine, sure, we’ll work up to that.” Hawks frowned, tapping his chin in thought. What information should he give them? Sure he’d come up with a couple possibilities, but it was a gamble. He couldn’t provide false info, not yet. If he did that Dabi would never trust him. But Hawks also couldn’t provide anything too damaging. “Do you guys want my agency’s patrol routes?” Hawks could have another agency cover their weak points for a few weeks.

Dabi snorted. “Alright, whatever. See you.”

“Hey!” Hawks reached out, grabbing Dabi’s arm as he turned to leave. “I said I’d give you info, but I don’t know what you guys want! How come patrol routes aren’t helpful?”

“Because you heroes are so predictable that even the most low level information broker can identify 80% of your routes. Yours might be harder to guess, but I personally think that’s because you don’t have a route at all, you just follow your feathers to wherever they sense trouble.”

Hawks blinked, his hand falling from Dabi’s arm in shock, but he quickly covered his reaction with a smile. “Aww, have you been paying attention to me?”

Dabi rolled his eyes. “You’re so full of yourself. I pay attention to all the top heroes, not just you. Though you somehow managed to have a second identity I didn’t know about, so there’s that.” He shrugged, “But you’re at the top for a reason and you’re not my primary target, so it’s not too surprising.”

“You have a primary target, then?”

Dabi stared at him.

Hawks sighed, then gave the villain a sheepish smile. “Come on, we’ve got to get to know each other, right?”

“Villains don’t do that ‘make friends’ shit.” Those cold blue eyes studied him again, and Hawks still couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something familiar about them. “Be here in three days. Same time. You better have improved your intel by then.”

Hawks frowned at the door as it closed behind Dabi.

He’d have to give away some good info to gain Dabi’s trust, but what would the villains think was good that didn’t actually cost the heroes anything?

He wished the Commission would give him more guidance.

When Hawks arrived at the Hideaway three nights later, Forest signaled him that Dabi was already waiting in the back.

There went Hawks’ plan to get there first so that Dabi couldn’t bug the room. No doubt the villain had been thinking the same thing.

No matter.

Hawks plastered on his easy-going smile as he found the door that was slightly ajar and slipped inside.

Dabi raised one eyebrow as Hawks pocketed his sunglasses and dropped into the booth across from him. “You have a good day, hero, or are you just that happy to see me?”

“A bit of both. To be honest, I kind of assumed you’d ghost me.”

Dabi rolled his eyes. “Ghosting you isn’t worth getting the broker on my case.”

“You could’ve just told them who I really am. This place doesn’t take kindly to limelight heroes like me.”

“Still not worth it. Why would I give away info that I can use as blackmail, instead?”

Hawks’ grin sharpened. That was more like it. Not many would care about the information that Night Owl was Hawks, but if the broker found out, Hawks would need another identity before he could come back. Not much of a threat, but it would be inconvenient. “Well if minor blackmail isn’t enough, I do have more intel for you.” Hawks paused, pulling a folder out of his jacket and dropping it on the table. “UA is upgrading its security because of your attacks.” Of course, Hawks was only giving Dabi the first layer of those plans, but it should be enough. “You guys are interested in info about UA, right?”

Dabi picked up the file, his eyes scanning over the information before he tucked it into his own jacket. “We’ll see if it matches what our other sources say.”

Hawks expected that to be it, but Dabi didn’t leave. Instead he stayed there, frowning at Hawks.

Hawks blinked. “Anything else I can help you with, hot stuff?”

“A curiosity.” Dabi leaned forward, resting his chin in the palm of his hand, and Hawks’ stomach twisted at the smile Dabi gave him.

Oh.

He was… he was really hot.

Hawks swallowed, fighting to keep his eyes from trailing over Dabi’s figure.

“I’ve gotta ask, are the rumors true? The number two hero doesn’t have a soulmate waiting for him at home?”

Hawks stiffened. His smile became bitter, and it was nice not to have to act for once. “It’s true. My soulmate died when I was young. Too young to do anything to save him.”

Dabi’s smile left. “And here I thought only villains had stories like that. Maybe you do belong with us, after all, pretty bird.”

Pretty bird? So Dabi thought Hawks was attractive. He could work with that. Hawks raised one eyebrow. “Does anyone in the League have a soulmate?”

Dabi’s smile taunted him. “None of that. We agreed that I’d be the one asking the questions.”

Damn him.

“Thanks for the info, birdy.” Dabi stood up, sliping a phone into the front pocket of Hawks’ jacket as he moved to the door. “I’ll contact you about when we’ll meet again.”

And just like that, Dabi was gone.

Hawks had learned nothing. Well, nothing besides the fact that Dabi thought he was attractive and wanted to know about Hawks’ soulmate, for whatever reason. Since Hawks didn’t have one, it’s not like they could use that against him.

Hawks sighed and leaned back in the booth, running a hand through his hair as two feathers darted around the room, checking for bugs now that he was alone.

Nothing.

No one said infiltrating the League would be easy, but Hawks needed to speed things up.

When he was slow, people lost lives.

The next few meetings, however, went exactly the same. Hawks showed up, gave Dabi incomplete intel, and then the villain made a sarcastic comment and left.

For their fifth meeting, however, Dabi sent Hawks a ping with a new location, then a follow up message that just read “half an hour.”

Hawks had been in the middle of a meeting with the Commission.

He hadn’t been able to sleep in over 48 hours because he’d been arresting a drug trafficking ring down south, then immediately flown up north to report to the Commission.

He was dead on his feet, but this mission was too important to ignore.

Hawks left.

He flew as fast as he could in order to make the meeting in time. When he finally landed on the roof of an empty warehouse, Dabi stepped out of the shadows, smirking at him. “I’m impressed. You really are the fastest hero. I wasn’t expecting you to make it.”

Hawks glared at him. “So you did put a tracker on the phone.”

“Of course.” Dabi shrugged, “Our bug couldn’t catch anything other than your location, but I’m sure you already knew that.”

“I could have just told you that and saved you the effort. My costume has anti-technology measures built in. I told you the Commision knows my every move.”

“We had to try. It’s nice to see you actually pissed off.” Dabi’s grin was taunting as he moved closer, stopping only inches away from him.

Hawks refused to back up.

Dabi’s grin widened. “Tell me, hero. If you’re not the Commission’s pet, how does it feel to be mine, instead? You certainly come when I call.”

Hawks growled. “I’m not anyone’s pet. I’m helping you guys so that I get out of this situation, not so that I trade masters.”

“Yeah? Well I still think that’s an excuse to spy on us. You’re mad at them, sure. But if you were really angry about them bossing you around, you wouldn’t be so eager to follow my orders.”

“This is a means to an end. It’s my choice.” He may not have had a choice to do this mission. But Hawks had chosen to be a hero. He’d chosen the path that led here. Even if he was a kid, even if he hadn’t had many options, it had still been what he’d chosen.

“Yeah?” Dabi tilted his head to the side, studying Hawks with a manic grin. He moved his right hand and Hawks watched warily as those dangerous fingers moved toward his left wing, then trailed along the upper ridge, making Hawks shudder.

It….

No one had ever touched him like this. This gently. It was almost reverent. But why were Dabi’s fingers so col–

A sharp pain burst in his wing, and Hawks gasped as Dabi stepped back, holding one of Hawks’ feathers. “Bastard.” Hawks shuddered again, his feathers bristling on reflex, but he fought for control, forcing his instincts to calm down. “That hurt.”

“I thought they were all attached through telekinesis?” Dabi was studying the feather, his tone unapologetic.

Hawks sighed. “No. I can manipulate them that way, but they grow and stay attached to my wings just like normal feathers.”

Dabi hummed, then Hawks’ eyes widened as the fingers around his feather became drastically warmer. “I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t–”

“--light it on fire?” Dabi’s grin shouldn’t be so hot. Hawks was too tired. “You’re so much easier to read when you’re like this.”

Hawks blinked as the warmth disappeared. He shook his head, rubbing a hand across his face to hide his distress. “What do you mean?” Hawks couldn’t afford to be ‘easy to read,’ but at the same time, he wanted Dabi to think he understood everything about him.

“You’re bad at maintaining your hero persona when you’re caught off guard and exhausted. You haven’t given me that shitty smile once today.”

Damn it. Hawks couldn’t slip up! But if he smiled now, that would just confirm Dabi’s suspicions. “I’m just tired, hot stuff. No one smiles when they haven’t slept in forty-eight hours and their contact is being a dick.”

Dabi’s thumb was tracing along the ridge of his feather, and Hawks closed his eyes, mesmerized by the contact. He never let people touch his feathers. Not like this. His handlers’ touches were always cold and distant, his fans were eager and harsh. But this…

This was gentle. This was a caress.

“What do you know, looks like you can be trained like a pet, after all.”

Huh?

Hawks opened his eyes, a soft confused chirp leaving his mouth before he froze in shock. “Sorry! That’s uh–”

“Why are you apologizing?”

Hawks swallowed.

He didn’t know what he was supposed to say in this scenario. The Commission hated his chirps. But for the mission, Hawks was supposed to hate what the Commission thought about his mutations. “It’s habit. The Commission really doesn’t like it when I do something animal-like.” Hawks didn’t dare look at the villain. Maybe he had understood about the talons because of his own scars, but chirps meant that Hawks still had body parts that were different from a normal human’s. Normal people couldn’t make those noises. Normal people would be grossed out by them.

Hawks knew that. The Commission had explained it to him.

Dabi’s finger ran across Hawks’ feather again, making him shudder.

“I thought we already established that the Commission’s thoughts are bullshit.”

“It’s not that easy to ignore. They’ve been training me to repress my instincts since I was a kid.”

Dabi’s fingers paused on Hawks’ feather, and he barely withheld the upset trill.

“I guess I’ll just have to retrain you then, pretty bird.”

Hawks’ head shot up, and that was all the warning he had before Dabi’s hand was so much warmer, but not burning, not yet, and the villain was stepping closer, running his warm hands through Hawks’ wings.

What…

What was happening?

Why was Dabi’s touch so gentle?

Why…

His fingers threaded through each feather, and it was overwhelming. Hawks couldn’t help the small chirp that escaped or the way his head rolled forward, resting on Dabi’s shoulder.

Too much.

Everything was too much.

It felt so good.

Dabi’s fingers were magical. It was like they were scratching an itch that Hawks had never even known was there, he’d been so used to its presence. He felt…. There was something wet and oily that Dabi was sliding along his feathers, but Hawks didn’t understand. “What…” He had to talk, not just feel. Not just think about how nice that oil felt as Dabi spread it along each feather. Ask. Hawks had to ask. “What are you doing?”

“You said your wings grow just like a bird’s. Birds produce an oil that they use to groom their feathers.”

They did?

Oh.

That felt so good.

Hawks was putty in the villain’s hands, and he didn’t even care. “I tried… I tried to groom them when I was little. My parents didn’t have bird quirks, though. So they couldn’t teach me how. And the Commission said I wasn’t a bird and I should stop.”

“And what did I say about the Commission?” Shit, Dabi’s voice was doing the angry gravelly thing again, and Hawks was already weak at the knees. It wasn’t fair how attractive he was.

“That they’re full of bs.” The words were out before he’d even registered them, and Hawks wasn’t even sure if he felt guilty for saying it. He was supposed to think that, right?

Everything was confusing.

Dabi’s hands were dangerous.

The only other person to like Hawks’ bird traits was Touya. He’d thought the Commission was full of bs, too. Hawks’ eyes drifted shut. It had been so long… “Touya…”

Dabi’s hand froze.

“What?”

Oh. Had Hawks said that out loud? Hawks forced his eyes to open. “Sorry. My soulmate… he hated the way the Commission treated my mutations. Sometimes you say things that remind me of him, that’s all.”

Why… why did Dabi look amused?

“Careful, pretty bird, it almost sounds like you’re falling for me.”

“You just remind me of him, that’s it!” Hawks’ face turned bright red, and he tried to pull back, but Dabi’s hands were still in Hawks’ wings, stopping him.

“I remind you of your soulmate.”

Shit, Dabi’s voice was dangerous, too.

And his eyes.

And his knowing smirk.

Hawks looked away.

Dabi leaned closer, and Hawks shuddered as the villain’s hot breath ghosted across his ear. “Villains don’t care about soulmates, birdy. We take what we want.”

When Dabi pulled away, Hawks felt like his brain was filled with fog.

He should leave.

He was too tired to react properly.

But Hawks didn’t want to leave.

The villain smirked at him. “Come on. I’ll finish grooming your wings, but it would be easier if you’re lying down.”

Lying down? Could Hawks let his guard down like that?

But Dabi’s touch had felt so nice.

And his wings felt so much better now than they ever had before. Lighter. Somehow Hawks knew he’d be able to move each feather faster, feel every vibration even better.

Hawks swallowed. “How do you know so much about birds?”

“I researched birds when I was a kid. Thought they were cool, especially raptors.”

Right. That… that made sense. Villains would think of birds of prey as cool. That’s why the Commission thought people would assume Hawks’ talons were villainous.

Dabi was sitting down, and he gestured at the floor next to him.

Hawks didn’t understand. “Why are you doing this?”

“Think of it as your payment for giving us good intel. The League isn’t much, but we take care of our own.”

Acceptance.

That… that was good. And that meant Hawks couldn’t turn this down. He was supposed to do anything to get closer to the League. Even if this was unconventional, it fit the parameters of his mission.

So Hawks lay down, tentatively setting his head in Dabi’s lap, and he didn’t even try to hide the chirp that escaped when Dabi’s hands resumed their massage.

“There you go, pretty bird. That’s more like it.”

Hawks closed his eyes.

Maybe, for just a few seconds, he could let himself relax.

Chapter Text

“Right on time as always, pretty bird. You got any new info for me?” Dabi was leaning against the doorway of their recent meeting place: a rundown office building that no one had occupied for the last three years.

Hawks really wanted today’s meeting to go quickly. It was Touya’s birthday and he hadn’t had a chance to visit his grave, which was making Hawks feel restless.

Soulmates were a distraction.

Hawks shoved aside his feelings and gave Dabi a smile. “Of course! I wouldn’t show up empty handed.” He pulled a thumb drive out of his jacket, holding it out for the villain. “Only the best today. This contains all the Commission’s information on you guys.”

More like 80% of it.

Dabi smirked. “Stole it off their computers? Did you use those feathers of yours to make sure your precious handlers didn’t see you?”

Handlers? Hawks almost let his surprise break his mask, but he kept the smile in place. “The security cameras were down and no one was in the room. They don’t know a thing.” How had Dabi known to use that word? No–it had to be a coincidence. It was the same word used for birdkeepers sometimes, right? Animals had handlers. Dabi was just referencing Hawks’ mutation quirk.

Dabi slipped the USB into his pocket, then turned back toward the stairwell. “Come on, then. Info like this deserves a treat.”

Really? “You’ll take me to see Shigaraki?”

“I didn’t say that.” Dabi was climbing the stairs now, and Hawks moved to follow him, disappointed. “I knew this place would be a good meeting spot because I used to crash here for a while. Some of my things are still in a room up top. We could relax for a bit: kick up our feet, take our boots off.”

What?

Dabi wanted to… relax? Was this like the wing massage thing? The villain opened the door and nodded for Hawks to go through.

Everything about this screamed that it was a trap, but Hawks had no choice.

He never had a choice.

Never except–

Well, thinking about that didn’t matter, anyway. Touya was gone. And at this rate, Hawks wouldn’t even have time to visit his grave today.

Hawks surveyed the room. Thankfully, no one else was here. A ratty couch sat in the corner, but it was better than the one he’d slept on as a kid. There were some deserted cubicles across from the couch, but other than that, the place was empty.

“Welcome to my old hideout.” Dabi moved past Hawks, dropping down on the couch and pulling his feet up onto the arm rest. As if to make a point, he kicked off both his boots.

Hawks swallowed. Dabi looked sinfully good, lounging across the couch like that.

And Touya was dead.

In all his years as a hero, no one had ever reminded him of Touya as much as Dabi did. The casual disregard for authority, the grim determination, the way he didn’t care about mutations, his sarcasm….

Shit.

Hawks couldn’t let himself get involved. This was just for a mission.

Dabi’s blue gaze watched him. “Come on, birdy. Be a good pet.”

Damn it! “I’m not your pet.”

He wasn’t. Not Dabi’s or the Commission’s.

And he hated that his outburst had made Dabi more amused. “Sure. But join me, and relax. Drop that mask of yours, hero.”

Hawks had no clue why this was so important to Dabi, but fine. He let his smile fall from his face and gestured at the couch. “How exactly do you want me to relax when you’re taking up the whole couch?”

Dabi frowned. His eyes searched Hawks’ face before he sighed and sat up. “Yeah, you’re right. Sit here, there’s something I think you’ll like.”

Hawks blinked in surprise but didn’t argue with the villain, sitting on the couch and watching Dabi as he walked over to the rundown cubicles and hunted around for a few seconds before coming back with a small wooden box. He held it out to Hawks. “Here.”

Hawks stared at the box. Dabi rolled his eyes and dropped it in his lap, so Hawks gingerly took off his gloves and picked it up. The box looked old–it had probably been here for at least a decade, but it looked like it had been nice at one point. Slowly, Hawks cracked the lid.

His eyes widened.

Inside was a silver watch, and it was polished. The object was so shiny, Hawks couldn’t look away, and it took him a second to even notice the beautiful design of Mt. Fuji.

“What?” He didn’t understand. Why would Dabi give him something like this?

“Birds like shiny things, right? And it’s not like I have any use for it.”

Hawks had a feeling that if he pointed out that Dabi had clearly been polishing it, the watch would become molten metal, so he stayed quiet, lifting it up out of the box and watching as the dim light reflected off it.

He could stare at it for days, it was so beautiful.

Dabi snorted, muttering something that sounded suspiciously like ‘you weren’t kidding,’ but that didn’t make any sense. Hawks tore his eyes away from the watch, blinking in confusion at the villain. “What did you say?”

Dabi raised an eyebrow, “Distracted a little? I said you should wear it on your wrist to replace that decaying strip of leather.”

Oh.

Hawks shook his head. “I never take that off, sorry.”

“Did the Commission give you an ID barcode or something?”

What? “No, nothing like that.” Thank goodness. Hawks honestly wouldn’t put it past them.

“Then what is it? The name of your boyfriend?”

Hawks winced. “Something like that, yeah.”

Dabi stiffened, and his voice was annoyed when he replied, “I thought you’d know by now that we aren’t going to attack you unless you betray us. We don’t care if you have a lover or some shit.”

Right.

And Touya was dead, anyway, so it’s not like Hawks was trying to protect anyone. “I don’t have a boyfriend.” It was cute that Dabi was jealous, but Hawks didn’t want to think too long about that. Dabi was a villain. Even if he was hot, even if Hawks liked him, and even if he reminded Hawks of Touya, it didn’t matter. This was a mission.

“It’s private, that’s all.” Hawks sighed but reached down to unclasp his cuff. He had to do whatever it took to gain their trust, and apparently that meant accepting gifts. His cuff really was falling apart, anyway; Dabi was right that he should have replaced it before now. And he’d already mentioned Touya’s name in front of the villain.

As Hawks set the cuff beside him on the couch, though, he realized that Dabi had become incredibly still. Hawks looked up, surprised to see Dabi staring at his wrist, his eyes wide in surprise. “Sorry, I know you hate, Endeavor, but his son was my–”

“You idiot.”

What?

“You fucking tatooed my–”

Dabi froze.

Hawks stared at him.

He’d… he’d been about to say ‘my name.’ Hawks knew it.

But the name on Hawks’ wrist was Touya’s.

But Dabi hated Endeavor.

Dabi wasn’t fireproof, but had a fire quirk.

Dabi was a few years older than him.

The watch had a mountain. Like the ones they’d promised to visit together.

Those burns on his arms.

It…

Fuck.

“Touya? Dabi, please, you can’t play with me. Not about this.”

The staples around his mouth stretched as he tilted his head back and laughed. “I was going to tell you today, but not like… I wasn’t expecting…” His voice trailed off and he looked back down, his eyes hardening. “Tell anyone and I’ll roast you, soulmate or not.”

“Touya? It’s really you?” Hawks stumbled forward off the couch, raising his free hand to clutch Dabi’s shoulder as he searched blue eyes for any sign that he was lying.

Blue eyes that looked so very much like Endeavor’s.

“You… How?! I’ve been to your grave! I go every year! Endeavor said you died!”

“He wishes.” Dabi sneered, but then his expression became more neutral, and Hawks felt Dabi’s fingers running through his feathers. “And I know. I’ve seen your feathers there every year since you became a pro.”

What? “You visited your own grave? When?”

“I always go the week after my birthday. I never wanted to visit too close to the day itself.”

“Dabi, no, Touya–”

“It’s Dabi. I’m a villain now. I can’t ever be a hero. Not when I know how terrible some of them are.”

Hawks swallowed.

His soulmate was a villain.

Dabi was Touya. Touya was alive. But Touya was a villain, not a hero.

Shit.

Hawks really didn’t know what to think.

“What happened that night? I asked Endeavor, but all he would say is that he didn’t go to meet you and there was a forest fire.”

Dabi scowled, “I’d figured out how to make blue flames. I wanted to show that bastard but when he never showed up… I was so angry that I couldn’t control my flames anymore.” He paused, shrugging before holding up his arm between them. “I couldn’t exactly contact you with my arms like this.”

Hawks’ trill was soft and horrified, and before he knew it he was hugging Touya tight, his throat thick with emotion as he fought not to cry in relief. His soulmate was alive. “Why didn’t you tell me?! That night at the bar, you could’ve–”

“How was I supposed to know I could trust you, Hawks? Touya could, sure, but Dabi? The villain?” Warm fingers clung to Hawks’ feathers. “I meant what I said that day. I’ll incinerate them for what they’ve done to you.”

Damn it.

But Hawks was a spy.

He couldn’t….

Fuck.

Hawks pulled back, “Dabi, I–” Something in Dabi’s eyes made Hawks freeze, silent. He was… Dabi’s eyes were desperate.

“I’ve waited so long to be able to tell you. To finally have someone next to me who understood what heroes were like. How they could torture you all in the name of doing something good.” His fingers moved, gently combing through Hawks feathers and grooming them. “Pretty bird, I know you’re a spy. But I also know you hate the way the Commission does things. Help me. Together we can burn down this system and make something better. Something that will actually help people instead of propping up villains as heroes.”

An uncertain chirp escaped him.

Hawks couldn’t think.

Dabi’s hands were…

But this was his soulmate.

But Dabi said he knew Hawks was a spy? “I’m not–”

“Keigo. No more hiding behind lies.”

Fuck.

Hawks head rolled forward, resting on Dabi’s shoulder as those fingers massaged the base of each wing.

A choice.

Dabi was giving him a choice. Join him for real, or… well, they’d be enemies for real.

Keigo couldn’t do it.

He couldn’t turn his back on his soulmate. Not after so many years without him, thinking that Touya was dead. Watching Endeavor not care that he’d practically killed his own son.

With Touya here… With Dabi, maybe Hawks could help the people that the Commission never noticed. Maybe he could make things change.

Touya always made Hawks think dangerously.

When it came down to it, Hawks had already made this choice years ago. He’d made it every night he disobeyed the Commission and stayed up just a little later, all so that he could write a few words on his arm.

“I’ve already lost you once; I can’t do it again. Whatever you want, I’ll be right by your side.”

Maybe soulmates were a distraction, but a life without distractions wasn’t worth living.