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Chapter Text

Katarina was never supposed to be anyone important and that was no great tragedy. There was no grand story to be told about her life. If there was anything to be told, it was that the Gods had destined it to be brief, a wave against the shore. It was her fate and she saw no reason to lament it.

But then a blue box came to her city and a mysterious stranger emerged, and fate rippled, their mere presence forever altering her fate.

She fell out of the world and into a place where the most impossible and frightening and wonderful things could occur, where all the rules were broken and a new and remarkable world revealed itself to her, so much stranger and brilliant than any of the stories she had heard.

She was never supposed to be important but here is her story anyway, preserved, her name etched down and remembered across the stars, her deeds preserved in myth. Her name, Katarina.

Chapter Text

The end was nearing. The war had raged on for ten long years and the time before it was hazy even to her. But now it was near. She heard it in the rumours whispered in the palace and saw it in the weary gazes of the soldiers as they passed through the main square.

She even knew how it would end, for she had dreamed it. It would end in loss, it would end in fire. Flames spiralling high into the sky, the heat of them searing her skin. Her own end was intertwined with that of her city. She would not live to see the aftermath of its destruction, to be sent off to a far-away land as a spoil of war. No, she would burn with her city, ashes on the wind.

The foreboding sense of end would have been obvious even to those who could not foretell the future. In the palace there were whispering currents that hummed, that the Greeks were not the only threat. Beyond the walls other cities were falling to a force only known as the Sea Peoples. Some claimed they were monsters sent by the Gods, sent by Tarhunt as some divine punishment.

Others said that they were desperate people with no home of their own, their own cities destroyed and fading into memory. Whatever they were they swept into cities and levelled them, leaving devastation in their wake. The other cities begged for help but Troy could not answer, besieged by the Greeks. Everywhere was falling, no one could not stand against the tides of fate.

The Gods were punishing them all and they would feel their wrath one way or another.

She had dreamt of her own piece of that divine punishment for months. Of the main square burning, of the fire wrapping itself around her skin as it began to redden, the unbearable heat pressing down, the beginnings of pain.

‘No’ was the only word that came to her mind when she awoke from it for the first time. As her fellow handmaidens had arose for the day, all she could do was sit there with tears in her eyes, the sensation of the flames lingering on her skin. But it soon faded, leaving only the cold weight of acceptance.

She told the High Priestess Cassandra of it, for her dream foretold not only her own fate, but Troy’s. She had kept her abilities a secret, Cassandra was paranoid, fearful another with stronger gifts would steal her position. Those with gifts were not looked upon kindly by her and so she concealed them. But with her city at stake, she had a duty.

Cassandra had been finishing her augury readings when she had approached her, the smell of the blood and gore in the windowless room lodging in her throat. She almost fled but the thoughts of what would happen to those she loved made her step forward.

“Great Priestess?” she had wrung her hands, unable to hide her fear.

“Yes, what is it?’ she did not look at her.

“I have been having dreams, Great Priestess.” she said, trying to get it out before she lost her nerve, “Dreams of my own death, but-“ her words had died in her throat as Cassandra turned to face her. She was beautiful is a severe way. The firelight highlighted her sharply defined face, her beauty more statue-like than mortal. Staring at her, it felt like she was about to face the wrath of the Gods themselves.

“You? Dreams of the future?” she glared at her,“You’re one of my handmaidens… Katarina, isn’t it? I had always thought you a good handmaiden.” she rose slowly, her shadow stretching on the wall like some beast rearing up to attack. Her voice icy and she knew she had made a mistake, but she had a duty.

“Great Priestess, I understand how this sounds, but in my dreams I die when Troy falls. I could not keep this to myself, not with our city at stake, you must know of a way to avert the cities fate. My own I have accepted.” she bowed her head and focused on how her breathing felt. She was here and alive, very, very alive.

“You dare to presume you have the sight?” she hissed, grabbing her shoulder, her nails digging into her skin.

“Please, Troy-“ she began to cry, all she wanted was for her to listen, for her city to be safe.

“No, you will not speak of it! You cannot possibly have those dreams.” she said. “In fact, these supposed dreams you speak of, they are blasphemy against the Gods. You know well the penalty for such blasphemy.”

She nodded, an awful weight of resignation settling in her chest.

“You are a good handmaiden and a pious girl, so I will let this go provided you do not speak of these dreams again. Is that understood?”

“Yes, Great Priestess. I apologise, I would never want to offend you or the Gods.” she bowed her head.

“If you keep to your place, you could do well in my service. Go now and not another word.”

Katarina had bowed her head and left the room, her whole body taut. Somehow she had found her way to a quiet storage room and there she had begun to shake and cry, for her city, for herself.

It would take time to make peace with the fate she had been handed. But it was not for her to question. The Gods had decided it so.

What she could do was serve. It had been enough before, more than enough. To bring such honour to her family by serving a princess of Troy, the High Priestess no less, had brought her great joy. It had also been a relief that her family would find it easier to feed themselves with her supporting herself. This was her life, she had made peace with it. She would serve and continue to bring her family and the Gods honour. It would be enough.

Her tears and dried and she was just left with her the knowledge of her and Troy’s fate, that they would both go together. She did not dwell on her death, on the end of all that she knew. She could not, there was nothing she could do to avert any of it.

Right at that moment the city was whole, the stone walls strong and mighty, the sunlight pleasantly warm on her skin. She dried her eyes and went to attend to her duties.

…

But Troy had been so much more than its ending. When she later remembered Troy, she remembered two cities side by side, not quite overlapping but both were as real and solid as the other.

One was the city she saw from a distance across thousands of years. That was a city where every moment had only ever led to the end. A sense of dread had hung over it like a fog that permeated everything. Everyone simply waited for the inevitable punishment, that last mighty battle that would surely claim them all. Yes, they had rebuilt after the great earthquake that levelled the city before she had been born, but though it stood as mighty as ever, everyone seemed afraid, as though the rebuilt city was an affront to the Gods that was just waiting to be struck down.

No one ever spoke of their fear out loud. Instead it lay in the nervous expressions of the people and the knowledge of the army camped out beyond the city walls, hungry for destruction. Only after she had left had she been able to see how heavy that weight had been.

But there was the other Troy, the one that she had known that she inhabited and it was no less real than that city steeped in dread. This was the city of her parents and siblings, her fellow handmaidens. This was of the mighty stone buildings the colour of the sand on the beaches, the whitewashed dwellings all packed in together. The lively and joyous festive days celebrating the Gods, the festival for Tarhunt God of Thunder brought to mind the sweet tang of the grapes, a rare treat, while the festival of Tiwad God of the Sun was the city draped in yellow fabric, the colours almost as luminous as the sunlight that shone down.

This was the city made up of sensations and moments that made it home. It was the view of the great blue sea from the palace balcony, the smell of the dough that her mother kneaded, the swell of noise made by a thousand voices all at once at the marketplace, the sound of the prayers to the Gods at sunrise, whispered conversations with Eirene and the others when the rest of the world was asleep, the views of the sunset she managed to steal by lingering outside as she crossed back to the palace from the temple after evening prayers.

She had been thrilled to be chosen as a handmaiden not only because of the honour it brought her family but because it also placed her at the very heart of the city.

She listened, hearing little bits of information that quietly expanded her world. She was careful, she never conspired to eavesdrop but if there were people wandering by while she did so, well she couldn’t help but overhear them then, could she?

The truth was that Katarina wondered, her mind was forever wondering, forever wanting more. Not material things but knowledge. She wanted more. She wanted to know it all. About the people who inhabited the temple to what life was like beyond the walls of the city, beyond the surrounding seas.

She wanted to know the truths of life, even the ones she was not supposed to question. Why was she here and why was this position and in her most despairing moments, why she had been given this fate. More than that, she wanted to experience it. So much happened inside her, so much that she should never have felt in the first place. A curious handmaiden was no good to anyone.

Even the dullest of handmaidens could easily fall afoul of Cassandra and Katarina, with her tendency to daydream and wonder was a ripe target for her when she had first begun. But she learned and learned well, learned how to fade in amongst the stone walls, to become not worthy of being noticed.

She had every intention of serving her Gods and being brave about her fate. She refused to let her weakness, her longing, get in the way of that.

And yet she wondered, she dreamed, she hungered, that want lurking deep inside her, hidden from the world and from herself, for if she truly wanted more, she would have to defy the Gods themselves.

…

Two days before Troy fell her dream changed. There was no fire. She was not even in Troy. Instead she was in a tiny room with impossibly smooth grey walls. A mighty weight held her back and she was straining, straining for something on the wall.

A man called out for her, so aggrieved and so powerless.

“Not that one! Katarina!” he pleaded but still she reached for the raised red marking on the wall, she knew she had to press it, she did not know why she had to press it but she had to- something gave under hand and she knew she had succeeded.

“Katarina!!!” one last sorrowful cry as she was lifted up out into an expanse of darkness, the cold prickling her skin, breath sucked out of her lungs-

She woke up gasping.

“Katarina!” her friend Eirene knelt by her “What did you dream, are you well?” she held her gently, waiting for her breathing to even.

“My dream, it has changed.” Eirene was the only person in the palace that she trusted with her dreams. Ever since that first night where Eirene had told her stories to alleviate her homesickness, an unbreakable bond had formed between the two, navigating their way through palace life side by side. She does not know how she would have survived it without her.

“You are not to die?” she sounded so hopeful and for a second Katarina let herself indulge in the idea of a life with many years stretching ahead of her. But it was never to be. She shook her head slowly.

“No, I am. But it has changed.” she said, the cries of that unknown man echoing in her head.

“Come on, tell me on the way to breakfast.” she helped her up. “We might get two slices of bread if we’re lucky.”

“Not with the way the crops have been growing, it’s far too cool for summertime.” she said, looking out at the low hanging hazy clouds that dulled the pure blue of the summer sky.

“Did you dream that we would not get two pieces?” she looked at her pointedly.

“Well, no.” she said as she placed her rolled up blanket down at the end of her sleeping mat.

“That means there is still a chance that we will get two slices, come on.” she tugged and Katarina affectionately rolled her eyes and let herself be pulled along.

As they walked, she told her what had happened in her dream, the strange room and the man’s voice, the vast darkness and the icy cold. Eirene squeezed her hand. As she recounted it, something occurred to her.

“But, maybe this means Troy will not be destroyed. For I did not dream of the city burning at all.” Her family, Eirene, her city, they would all be safe.

“I hope so, too.” Eirene said softly. She looked at her with such a fierce affection, “I am glad that the Gods brought us together, even for this short time.” she whispered. Katarina squeezed her hand back, grateful to have such a friend.

While she was here there was beauty and friendship, the smell of bread and the cool marble walls, all the beautiful little sensations of being alive.

Yes, it was enough for her.

Chapter Text

Then came the blue box.

All was normal until mid-morning, when Cassandra was summoned to the main square. She and Eirene, and two other handmaidens accompanied her. Tense whispers flew through the air, the hum made her shiver. The crowd parted for them and she saw what had set everyone on edge.

A box. A tall, narrow, blue box. As she approached it she could see that it was made of wood but it looked like no box she had ever seen before. There were strange white panels towards the top with what she thought was writing on it.

“You fools, burn it! Sacrifice it to the Gods, the sooner it is gone, the better!” Cassandra yelled, the anger in her words masking the fear behind them.

It hummed, deep and low, a noise she felt in her chest. Eirene looked at her, wide-eyed. No earthly creation made that noise, of that she was certain.

She felt sorrowful that they were burning it. She wanted to know what it was, what lay within. But that part of her where her curiosity dwelt had never done her any good, so she continued to pile on the wood as was her duty.

But the Gods must have felt curiosity, too, for it opened and a girl stepped out. She was so striking, her face soft and round, her hair golden. Briefly she thought that the girl must be one of the Gods until she announced that she was in fact a prophet.

“Does she want to get herself killed?” Eirene whispered to her. Already Cassandra was glaring at the young girl but she held Cassandras gaze and simply smiled.

“She is clearly from beyond Anatolia.” she murmured back, but she was more focused on the box, the girl, and the intense desire to know more.

Here began a series of moments that she would later remember as when her fate had been forever altered. Here was the first one, a blue box wheeled in on a cart and the wispy girl who had emerged from within and held her head high against the Great Priestess.

…

All day the palace had been abuzz was gossip about the girl and her box and did it mean the end of the war or was she an omen? Katarina stared and speculated like all the others. She wanted to know about the box and where she came from. The war had meant no outsiders came to the city anymore and she wanted to hear news of the world. Was it really as dire as the king’s advisors claimed?

The girl dined with Priam, entertaining questions from the royal family and the stares of all the servants. Apart from Cassandra, the royal family did not seem particularly wary of her. She put them at ease, her lack of nerves working a strange sort of magic. Trolius had been utterly smitten with her and she seemed to blush every time he spoke to her.

All was going well for her until a Greek prisoner was brought in. The prisoner was tall and strong-looking, though he looked dishevelled, his uniform smeared with dirt.

“Steven, what on earth are you?” she stood up in shock and rushed over to him. Katarina looked over at Eirene, scarcely daring to breathe.

“Shhh, Vicki.”

That voice… it was the man from her dream. The one who called her name.

It felt as though her heart had been pierced. It was the Greek prisoner who would call her name so sorrowfully just before she dies.

She did not hear what happened next, all she could focus on was the fact that her death was so near. She murmured prayers to stop her mind racing, prayers that it would be painless, that her passage through the beyond would be swift.

“Katarina?” Eirene touched her back, jolting her back into the world.

“That man, he is the one from my dream, his voice. It was him.” she choked out, still stunned from hearing it.

“Katarina-“ Eirene said, her hands still trembling. She just shook her head.

“There’s nothing to be done,” she said tightly.

She would be brave about it. She would be brave. It was all she could do.

…

An offering that Cressida had predicted, securing her freedom, though not that of her friend. She had been instructed by Cassandra to supervise Cressida, a further sign that her fate was entwined with those of the two mysterious strangers.

Cassandra’s continued proclamations of doom washed over her, the war already beginning to fade into history. In her chest it felt as though a knot had come undone, releasing a pressure that she had felt for ten long years. She would die but everyone else would be safe.

As Cassandra argued that the horse was a sure omen of their doom, Cressida quietly moved away and out of the room.

A voice inside her, a surprisingly bold voice, told her to follow, to see where she was going. But she stood still and hushed that voice, smothering it until once again it was in some deep and dark place.

Eventually the argument died down and when they realised Cressida had gone, Trolius was sent to find her. But Cassandra frowned and strode over towards her. She stood up straighter.

“Katarina, go and look for sorceress, I don’t trust my lovesick brother,” she sniffed, as though the very idea of love disgusted her.

“But Great Priestess, the auguries said tha-“ she attempted to say, for since the auguries had assured the wars end, surely the girl was not here to bring their doom?

“Do not dare to question me!” she glared and Katarina recoiled slightly, as though the glare could physically harm her.

“No.” she said softly, shaking her head and looking down at the floor. It was an odd lapse of judgement but it was the end of her life and the war and the vitriol she had towards this girl seemed so pointless when the enemy was no longer a threat.

“Very well then, go and watch for that girl.” she said less harshly.

Very rarely she was drawn anywhere near that inner-sphere of scheming and politics and power. She was nervous at being drawn in to these games of power but an undercurrent of a thrill ran through her because maybe she would get to know just a little about this strange girl and her humming box.

…

Her time with Cressida was a nice respite from her regular duties. Not that she didn’t like them but it was nice to have so long to just be still. She felt so at peace as she stood there. The noise of the celebrations drifted up and the sky was lit in a blazing red from the setting sun.

The girl who had so intrigued the city sat there, only the tapping of her foot against the floor belying her anxiety. She remained guarded and kept glancing at her frequently. It had quickly become disconcerting knowing that someone was so keenly aware of her. She tried her best not to fidget under Cressida’s constant gaze.

“Katarina?” Cressida asked, her voice soft.

“Yes, is there anything you might need?” the words came almost without thought, worn smooth with familiarity having been spoken so many times.

“No, but I was wondering… how did you come to be here?” she asked, eyes firmly on Katarina.

For a few seconds all she could do was stare. Why would she want to know? Why would she care about a mere handmaiden? Cressida seemed curious, but unlike her she let it lead her with little regard for what others would think.

She knew she should not trust her, but there was no harm in telling her about herself, surely.

“Well, I came to be in the High Priestesses employ about five summers ago and I was quite fortunate to gain such a position.” she stopped but Cressida nodded for her to go on. It took her a few seconds to know how to respond.

“Well, my family live in the city but they could not feed us all. By gaining this position I got to bring honour to family and serve the Great Priestess herself, I have been truly blessed”

“Do you miss them, your family?”

“I do, yes.”

Then she asked something unexpected: “What about your family? Are they the people you are travelling with, my lady?” she blinked. With any other lady she would have held her tongue but this time it felt eerily natural to ask.

“Katarina, first of all, just call me Cressida! And, well, no, my parents are dead, I’m travelling with… friends,” briefly her expression looked lost but it was quickly replaced with that smile that seemed to radiate a restless, eager energy.

“I’m truly sorry to hear that but at least they are at peace in the beyond. It is where I will be going soon myself.” she stared out over the city, as though she could see the beyond somewhere out there, waiting for her.

“What do you mean?” she said, continuing when Katrina didn’t respond “that you’ll be going to the beyond soon? Do you mean… death?” Cressida shifted in her seat, sitting up in alarm.

“My death has been foretold by the Great Priestess these past few months, in the auguries,” she said lightly.

Even earlier today, when she had heard that man’s voice, it had more been the shock of realising it was so soon than the fact that she was actually going to die that had overwhelmed her so.

“What?” Cressida seemed shocked by this, “She predicted you would die?” she said, her voice rising in indignation on her behalf.

She felt startled that someone so far above her felt that way about her. Why would someone of her station care so much about her fate? She did not really matter in the grand scheme of things.

She had almost told her about her dream as well, but thought the better of it. People like her were not supposed to have gifts from the Gods. No, better just to mention the auguries.

“Well, yes, she gave me a chance to do something meaningful with what time I have here and I am grateful to her for that,” she said, her voice weak. Cressida’s sympathy felt uncomfortable, she acted as though it were some great injustice that she was to die.

“Katarina… that’s hardly fair. Maybe she… got it wrong?” she sounded so hopeful, her naivety was almost charming.

“No, I do not think so,” she said softly, the dream running through her head once more. “It is what the Gods have decided for me, you do not need to be so aggrieved. We all have our fates and this one is mine.” It felt as though she were explaining it to her younger siblings. How could someone of her age believe that fate was that easily changed?

Her attempt at reassurance fell flat for Cressida only looked more troubled. Katarina’s stomach dropped, she shouldn’t have let this conversation happen.

“I apologise for this turn of conversation-“ she stammered out, not wanting to cause her any further distress.

“No, no! Why are you apologising?” Cressida seemed genuinely confused.

“Well it appears that what I said upset you,”

“No Katarina, it isn’t you, it’s the fact that you seem so sure you're going to die so soon. You deserve so much more than that, you seem so kind and you’re so young, you can’t be any older than me,” she was touched that this girl felt so upset but she would forget about her and her fate soon enough.

“I confess, I feel scared but I have faith in the Gods that I will be going to somewhere better, that I’ll reach the Place of Perfection. And now with the war over, I can leave knowing that those I love will be safe. I could hardly ask for more than that,”

“You seem frightened of death and that is understandable, there will be many challenges and trials but I believe that the Gods will see us all through in the end. We’ll all reach where we need to go and there will be peace for us all.” she said, smiling at Cressida for though it seemed that death was something frightening, it was really only a natural progression ordained by the passage of fate.

It was as though she believed that there was some sort of fairness to fate, that it could be changed if one did not believe it to be fair. Yet it was not arrogance that seemed to feed that belief. Instead it was a fierce kindness, a belief that the world should not be cruel, and Katarina felt a little in awe of it.

Katarina briefly let herself wonder what her life could have been like if she and Cressida had been able to simply be friends.

But to did not do to dwell on what could never be.

They stared out over the city where the victory celebrations were being prepared, the wooden horse towering over the buildings, a symbol of the future that awaited them. A future full of peace and prosperity. A future where they would all be safe.

They watched the sun lower, the dying light of the day making the horse look as though it was ablaze.

Chapter Text

The celebrations went on well into the night, though she did not participate in them. Most celebrations just meant more work for the handmaidens. Still, she was swept up in the sheer relief of finally being at peace.

The celebratory dove that she was responsible for died in its cage, another sign that her time was near. But she swept the omen of the dead bird and the sensation of heart falling with its death cries to one side, for this night was one of joy, not death. It would come soon but not quite yet and she let herself forget what was to come.

As the evening wore on and the nobles got drunker she had fewer duties. She and Eirene had danced in the halls with their fellow handmaidens, utterly light and free. One by one they all drifted away with partners, giddy with joy and feeling invincible. Eirene taking a handsome young warrior by the hand, smirking at Katarina over her shoulder. Katarina waved, mouthing at her to tell her all about it tomorrow.

She had no interest in going off with any of the men, noble or servant, and was content to just watch the celebrations wind down.

Eventually she was the only one awake in the banquet hall. It felt like she was the only person in the whole wide world. She relished the silence, the stillness that the peace had brought to the city. the Greeks had retreated into the dark, the worried whisperings of collapse in the world faded.

The tables were still laden with leftover food, food that had only been half-eaten. She had always tried to sneak her family food, squireling her leftovers away and racing through the dark streets to give it to her family. It had been her one rebellion and somehow she had gotten away with it for all the years she had been in service, never once being caught. The Gods had given her that little blessing and she was eternally grateful for it.

She usually only took her own leftovers, often only eating half portions in an effort to give them extra food. It had become a necessity for her family as the war dragged on, the grain supplies drying up due to the siege. It had been especially bad this last year with the colder than usual weather during the summer months damaging the crops. Even with the war over, this winter would undoubtedly be hard.

As she walked nearer to the table, all thoughts of the Gods vanished for once. There were meats and cheeses and soft breads and fresh fruits and nuts… her stomach growled at the sight. Just this once. Just tonight. Surely the Gods could not begrudge her this?

With a sack in hand that she had taken from a store room earlier that night, she began to carefully lift the leftovers from the table, deftly leaning over the sleeping guests. Her stomach rumbled as she put the food in. Already she could taste the soft bread, feel the butter melt in her mouth, the sensation of a grape bursting-

“Katarina?” she startled and spun around, nearly dropping the sack. It was Cressida. She hadn’t been careful enough. Her heart hammered and she clutched the half-full sack to her chest.

“My lady-“ she tried to stop her voice from trembling but Cressida interrupted her.

“I’m sorry I startled you there.” She actually looked embarrassed, as though she were the one in the wrong. “You’re starting awfully early on the clean-up, surely you deserve to celebrate, too?”

When she came closer, she looked at the sack clutched against her and the untouched goblets and plates left lying on the table.

“Wait, you’re taking the food, ohhh,” she said, nodding, surveying the spread of food.

“Please, my lady, my family, they don’t get much,” she squeezed her eyes shut, trying to not to cry.

“Katarina, I’m not going to tell on you!” going by the look on her face, it was as though such a thought had never even occurred to her. For a few seconds she said nothing but then something seemed to occur to her.

“May I help you? Two pairs of hands are better than one.” She wiggled her hands in front of her, her smile somewhat mischievous.

Too stunned to speak, Katarina nodded and directed her towards the store rooms. This woman only seemed to get more puzzling the more she got to know her. She doubted that she was a spy. She certainly did not act like one. The only odd thing was that she had known that Greek prisoner. Otherwise, what would a spy stand to gain from helping her bring food to her family? It made no sense.

When she returned she followed Katarina’s lead. It felt almost wrong to be instructing a lady, especially since she was more or less instructing her on how to steal. Surprisingly Cressida was a natural, manoeuvring deftly between the guests and silently picking up the food with ease.

When they had collected a full sack each, she nodded to her and they stole out of the banquet hall, the nobles none the wiser to the two girls who had just pilfered their food.

…

Katarina led Cressida through the winding streets of Troy, briefly stopping to give a prayer of thanks to the wooden horse. As she gave her thanks she marvelled at what she had witnessed. A war that had ended not in bloodshed or destruction. Sometimes, just sometimes, the Gods smiled down upon them all and something so miraculous occurred in the mortal realm.

“We are nearly there,” she said when they turned onto her street. She felt uneasy, and she was only more unnerved by the fact that Cressida seemed to be oblivious. There was no other word for it, she was acting like they were friends, equals, and as much as she liked her, it just felt wrong.

But Cressida looked so pleased and she couldn’t help but feel glad she was her with her. Maybe here, outside of the palace walls, they could just be friends.

She knocked loudly on her door, ensuring that her family would wake. There was movement inside and the sound of the bolt being lifted.

“Katarina my darling!” her mama swept her into a hug and she sank into it, feeling safe even from the clutches of death for just a shining moment.

“Mama! I bring food!” she pulled away and held up the sack, “And a guest.” she stepped aside and revealed Cressida, who gave a wave.

Her mama’s mouth hung open in shock but luckily Cressida stepped in and spoke.

“I’m Cressida, um-“ she paused, waiting.

“Melitta.” she said slowly, looking at Katarina and raising her eyebrow. Still, she let them both inside. Everyone had been woken up by her arrival. Her papa smiled at her, all of her siblings were there including-

“Nikandros!” she dropped the sack and ran to him. She hugged him tightly for he had survived the war and returned to them, her prayers had worked, they had kept him safe and guided him home to them. She began to cry a little for against all odds, he was alive and well.

“Katarina, it has been far too long, but I am home at last. My how you have grown. The best handmaiden in all of Troy,” he was here, alive, and not only alive but healthy and strong.

Her other siblings ran over to her, Galene and Akakios, Korinna leading little Charis by her hand.

Here she was safe, the entire world shrank down to her house, her family. Immediately they all began talking, asking questions and telling little stories and it all felt so wonderful. It wasn’t hushed or reverent, it was loud and warm and happy and a small part of her wished that she could stay there forever.

Galene pulled away first and looked over at Cressida.

“Are you really a spy?” she asked and it felt like a relief to have it spoken out loud. They all looked at her, waiting.

She shook her head “I’m not, I swear. Just a traveller who has gotten separated from her friends. she said this sadly, her expression heavy with worry for them.

“I’m not even Greek, I’m from England, it’s, um, quite far away from here, its an island in the west.” she said, almost rambling.

“It is true. I sense no ill intent from her.” her Mama nodded once and that was that.

“My wife and daughters are all blessed in some way. If my wifes gifts sense no ill intent, then I welcome you to our home.” her Papa said warmly.

“Thank you,” Cressida smiled shyly and held her sack up, “Katarina where do I-“

“Over here,” she took two steps and set it on the small raised wooden table. “Cressida helped me gather up quite the feast.” she began removing the food from the sack and smiled as her family stared.

“Are there grapes?” Charis asked.

“There are, got them especially for you.” she said, bending down to hug her. Charis hugged her back, probably more for the grapes than for her but it was sweet all the same.

They sat down and conversation began in earnest. At first attention lay firmly on Cressida but she was gracious and soon had the conversation redirected back towards her hosts.

“It is so wonderful to have you home Nikandros.” Mama said, a sob breaking her voice. She squeezed his arm tightly, as though afraid he would be taken from her.

“And Katarina,” Korinna said as she chewed on some bread, “it has never been the same without you here, either.”

“Well I’m just happy Nikandros is home because I’m finally not the only boy in this household.” Akakios said, pulling away from the huddle.

“You did a fine job being the man of the house while I was away,” Nikandros said, rustling his hair. He looked quite pleased with himself and the job he had done in holding their family together. She and father exchanged glances, trying not to laugh.

“You are both staying forever? Please?” Galene looked up at them, eyes wide, and Katarina wished that she could.

“I will be anyway.” he said, hugging her again.

“And we can visit Katarina when she is assisting the high priestess. Giving thanks to the Gods is important after all.” Korinna said.

“You assist at the temple?” her brother raised an eyebrow, impressed.

“Well, I lay out her robes and ensure her idols make it safely back to the palace.” she said sheepishly.

“Better than weaving tunic after tunic,” Korinna said. How blessedly normal this all felt, even though she was so rarely there.

Peace had healed their city so much in only a short night. Her family was as whole as it could be and her parents looked less exhausted than they had in years.

It was moments like this that anchored her. When life seemed fleeting and the tides of fate too overwhelming, she lost herself in moments like these, in warm, happy moments. Her family was here and they had plenty of food and they were sharing stories and her chest felt like it could burst from the joy. She would have them, those moments a little fire that would always burn within her even when she had journeyed beyond the realm of the living.

…

But she did tell her parents. They deserved to know, at least. She gestured to the door and they followed her out. As soon as they had stepped outside onto the silent street, her mama asked her.

“It has not changed?” her mama’s voice was soft, hopeful.

It had changed but not in the way they had hoped. She simply shook her head, her mouth a tight line, unable to even say anything.

“Well, I am glad the Gods gave me you, I hope you know that my love.” She gently stroked her hair as though she were a child again.

“We are both so proud of you, Katarina, you have brought such honour, such… joy to our family. We will surely meet again.” Her papa said, giving her hand a squeeze. It was never quite the end. She would pass on from the living realm but she would not be forever separated from them.

“I am just relieved that you will all be safe once I am gone, I could not ask for anything more.”

They stood there, watching out over the quiet streets, glad to be there and so very alive in that moment. There would be this, there would always be this.

But she did not linger there long. While she was here she wanted noise and warmth, the company of her siblings and the taste of good food. She wanted life while she could still have it. After a brief hug with them she led her parents back inside, leaving her looming death at bay for the night.

Inside they found Cressida entertaining them with stories from her homeland of England, where there were verdant green fields, sprawling cities, and a lot of rain.

As she sat there, enthralled by her further tales of strange lands and even stranger monsters, she found that she truly trusted her. For one, her descriptions of England were far too detailed to have been a fabrication.

But if she was a spy, there would have been no reason to accompany her here. She’d hardly find any important information about the city from her family, who were nobody of note to anyone but her. Yet every word they said, even about things as boring as her mama doing the laundry fascinated her.

The talking continued despite the late hour and conversation eventually turned to what they were looking forward to now that the Greeks were gone.

“You know, now that we can venture outside the city walls again, I believe we are long overdue a sea swim.” Mama said, beaming at them all.

“Oh, a sea swim would be wonderful!” said Nikandros eagerly, eyes wide at the prospect, “There was little time for such jovialities in the army, it was torture with the sea right there, cut off by the Greeks.” He looked wistful at the idea of it.

“We must do, those three have never even been.” said Korinna, gesturing to their younger siblings. She kept smiling but squeezed her hands together under the table, realizing that she had already been in the sea for the last time. What else had she experienced for the last time?

How she longed to join them and feel the waves lap up against her back but she would have to return to her regular duties tomorrow and there would be no time at all for one last trip. It was a great honour being a handmaiden it came with hard sacrifices.

“Katarina will you come?” Charis asked, turning towards her and giving her skirts a tug.

“Well-“ she began, but Cressida interrupted, a smile forming on her face.

“I think I could help with that,” she paused, thinking, “You know, I do so want to see the city and I’ll need a guide. And well, it would be easy for me to get separated from my guide in the crowds…” she raised her eyebrows at Katarina, as though she were conspiring with her.

“That should give you a few hours. And if Cassandra blames you I’m more than willing to take the fall for you, I have a terrible sense of direction!” she said this last part gleefully.

“Cressida I would hardly leave you-“ she said, not even sure where to begin with this idea.

“Nonsense, I’ve explored many strange places by myself and you deserve to spend time with your family, we can help each other out here,” she shrugged, as though wandering around an unfamiliar city alone was a perfectly normal thing to do and that the desires of handmaidens mattered in any meaningful way. Just who was this girl?

Before Katarina could say anything else, her papa spoke.

“Well, we thank you for your gracious offer. Katarina would be honoured to take you up on it. After all, she is our guest, it would be rude of us to refuse.” he put his arm around her and that was that.

She let herself smile at the thoughts of leaving the city walls with her family and getting to feel the sea on her skin after ten long years. One last sea swim with her family before she left them. The Gods had truly blessed her.

“Thank you, I cannot tell you how much this means to me.” She looked at Cressida and for the briefest moment she saw the most awful look of heartbreak on her face but she quickly covered it with a smile.

“It’s the least I can do for you,” she said in a whisper, her voice at odds with her expression. Katarina squeezed her hand back. It was odd, it was Cressida who needed comforting over her death and not her. But she supposed it was easy for her, to simply go. Her family, her friends, they would be left to live in the world without her.

But she was soon smiling again and they finished off the food and drifted off into silence, everyone’s eyes becoming heavy. Nothing bad could happen here. Even her lingering sadness about her death fled, the lulling silence acting as a shield against all the ill in the world.

Tonight, she was here and she was alive and for one moment, all was well.

Chapter Text

Her dreams had been merciful, sparing her from the full horror that was coming to pass. In those dreams she had only felt the barest lick of heat against her skin, and it had been gentle compared to what unfolded before her.

Fire engulfed the world, smoke obscured the sky and choked her. There had been no such smell in her dreams, no smoke that scratched the inside of her chest.

She had thought that because her death had changed that Troy had been spared but it hadn’t, her family-

Around her people ran, screaming. Bodies had already begun to pile at the sides of the streets, the pavement darkened and slickened with blood. A chorus of death built around her, an unholy harmony of scraping metal and the squelching of stabbed flesh, a background chant for only two words: “horse” and “trap”.

It felt as though she was under the sea, the light dimmed and sounds muffled, an untouchable observer, removed from what was happening. For so long she had dreamed of the flames, each dream reminding her of the inevitable. But as it unfolded before her she just felt a strange sense of relief that it had finally happened, that there would be no more dread.

Cressida pulled her along. They had only just left her home when they had heard those first screams, those piercing screams that heralded the end of all things.

“Katarina, please,” she said “We need to get to the main square, my temple, we’ll be safe there.” She looked about ready to cry. It made no sense for Katarina to run into the heart of her burning city, to do anything at all but wait for the flames to come to her like they had for so many nights. But she could not abandon Cressida.

In the main square the strange temple stood amidst the chaos, unnoticed by the Trojans and the Greeks alike. There an old man waited, presumably one of Cressida’s friends that she had spoken of. She stood there as they bickered and tried not to look at the chaos around her, tried not to-

“Katarina.” Cressida grabbed her arms, desperation tinging her voice “Katarina listen to me, this is the Doctor. Now, go and find Diomede. Please.”

This is where she should have left her, after returning her safely to her temple. She knew nothing of these strangers and her city was falling. If she had any sense she would leave them and try and run back to her family, be with them as it ended. But she could not.

They were innocent people who had found themselves in the middle of a war that was not theirs. Diomede did not deserve to be abandoned in a foreign city during a time such as this. So she nodded and left to go and search, muttering prayers for protection under her breath as she ran across the square.

They were listened to, for she found him at the edge of a square, wounded but breathing, a dead Trojan next to him. She tried not to wonder whether Nikandros had known him.

“Diomede, Cressida has sent me.” she crouched down beside him, placing her hand on his arm.

“Who are you?” his face was contorted with pain. The wound was deep, but she could not leave him here to die. His fate was bound with hers now, to leave him would be an affront to the Gods, to fate.

“I’ve come to take you to your temple. Oh, come, quickly.” she looked around, it would only be a matter of time before someone took notice of them.

“I can’t.” he rasped. Already he looked dangerously pale, his face contorted with the pain. She wasn’t sure he would be able for the short walk to the temple. But she had to try.

“Lean on me.” she squeezed his hand and began to pull him up. He sat up and she put her hand on his back, helping him up. He shifted his weight onto her and she buckled slightly under it.

She kept her head down and muttered her prayers, hoping her protection would last. She had tread this path so many times, as a little girl, as a handmaiden, but never had it seemed so long. The Gods heard her prayers, perhaps taking pity on an already dead girl and gave her that small mercy, for they made it back to the temple unnoticed by anyone.

Cressida had vanished, but the old man, the Doctor, was still there and he came over to Diomede’s other side and helped him into the temple. She did not look back as she fell out of the world.

…

She was dead but that fact was the least of her concerns. Her main concern was the man lying on the sofa beside her, Diomede, or Steven, rather. She pressed a cool cloth to his forehead. The God of the temple, the Doctor, had commanded that she see to him while he found him help.

Even in the beyond, he ailed still. She did not understand why he was still affected so and it was not her place to.

In Troy she would have said there was little to be done. She had tended to many like him after particularly brutal battles when the physicians were overwhelmed. She had seen many similar wounds and had placed cool cloths on their foreheads, comforted them with whispered stories of the paradise that waited for them beyond. It was all too familiar and she tried not to think about the fact her brother had likely suffered a similar fate with no one there to comfort him.

She found that she was not scared for Steven. Concerned, but not scared. Not after all that she had seen of the Doctor and his temple. He groaned under the touch of the cloth, shifting restlessly in his fevered slumber. She removed it, knowing that she had done what she could for the time being, and sat on the floor. As she settled, she felt the low hum of the altar flow through the floor and into her body. In the stillness of the moment, the events following her death began to play out once again in her mind.

Dying was nothing like she had expected it to be. When she had, quite literally, crossed over, she found herself in a sparse chamber far bigger than it had seemed when she had seen it first. Once she had eased Steven onto the sofa she had stared, rapt, as the Doctor performed his magic at the altar. The hum had built, the sound of a mighty creature rasping. It was all metal and smooth but when she had heard that rasp she had known that it was alive, that something dwelled within the temple, giving it all that magic.

So much had happened and she did not know how to make sense of any of it. Briefly she felt a longing for her pallet at the palace but she banished those thoughts. There was no going back.

The Doctor was to be her guide on her journey through to her place of perfection, from what she could gather. He had waved the suggestion that was a God off. But he had to be a God of some kind, to have such power, but who or what exactly she did not know.

“Katarina, was it?” he had said to her, all his attention focused on her.

“Yes, my lord.” She had bowed her head.

“No, no, my dear, not a lord.” he said, waving his hand as though trying to clear her words away “We need to get Steven some help. Until then you must care for him, keep him safe. Can you do that my child?” She remembered thinking it was a strange name. Out of all the strange things she did not know why this stood out in particular, but like with every other strange thing in the room, she said nothing.

“Yes, my lord. Is there a cloth I can use to tend to him?” she had looked up at him briefly, at his mortal guise of an old man, his power evident in his proud stance, his piercing gaze. He had produced a cloth, nodding at her. She knew from the stories told to her by her parents that Gods could be tricksters, could care little for mortal concerns. But this one seemed deeply affected by Steven’s injuries. It put her at ease, knowing that this God seemed to care, at least.

He had opened the doors without touching them but it was what she had seen beyond them that had startled her the most. Beyond them wasn’t Troy, but a forest. She took it in, awed at the sight of so many trees, at the sheer fact that it was elsewhere.

Then the questions had truly began to pour into her mind, like water from a spilled vessel. How had they moved? What sort of magic had moved them? What sort of magic allowed such a big chamber to fit into such a small temple?

But the one that was the most puzzling of them all was why her? No one had ever seen any grand destiny for her, least of all herself. Yet the Doctor, though he was a God, he trusted her. It all should have frightened her but though she did not understand this new fate of hers, she could only feel curious, a yearning to know what lay ahead.

Behind her she heard movement, bringing her out of her thoughts. She pushed herself up and turned around. His eyes were open but she knew he was not really seeing.

“Vicki….” his voice was now a whisper, his mouth barely moving. She wondered whether this Vicki was a sister or a lover, and where she was. Far away like her own loved ones were now, no doubt.

“Shhhh, you must rest now.” she said, rubbing the cloth over his forehead again “The Doctor has gone to get help, you will be well again but you must rest for now, you must.” His eyes fluttered shut again, his body relaxing.

His fate was out of her hands but she could at least get him to rest. She wished there was more she could do, but all she could do was wait.

…

She had never seen so much greenery in her life. It was one of the strangest and most beautiful places she had ever seen. Not quite as strange as the TARDIS but it was still odd. Everywhere there were bright leaves in unearthly shades of green. The trees themselves were thicker and larger than any she had ever seen, the air felt thick and wet, the fresh smell of the leaves was even more overpowering than the scent of those in the palace gardens.

She breathed shallowly, partially because of the uncomfortably thick and muggy air, partially to avoid detection by the Evil Ones who had surrounded the TARDIS. Beside her, was Steven, fully healed.

This place was full of strange miracles. Steven’s wound was now nothing more than a faint scar. It was impossible for him to heal that quickly, impossible without magic. He would be well enough for their journey thanks to whatever magic those tablets from the captured soldier Bret had contained. Though he had been harsh with her, clearly thinking her stupid compared to the powerful beings that inhabited this realm, he had nonetheless helped her and Steven. For that, she was grateful.

Just as Steven awoke, the Doctor had returned, none too pleased to see them out of the temple. But once she had explained the presence of the Evil Ones, he seemed less angry that they had fled and the feeling subsided. Before he could plan further, Bret had returned.

Then the arguing had started. Should they head for the Evil Ones city, the very heart of their enemies operations? Or back to the temple, where the Evil Ones lay in wait?

She breathed deeply, trying not to feel trapped by approaching flames, all of the trees and their looming trunks just waiting to be set alight by a single errant spark.

Even if she had wanted to question or object, there was nothing she could contribute to the argument so she alternated between observing their debate and the slow crawl of the flames and smoke. She turned away from the flames and back to the argument, which did little to assuage her fear.

None of them had any idea what they were doing. How could a divine being such as the Doctor, be so uncertain? She gripped the sides of her dress tightly in an attempt to focus on something small. Rubbing the fabric between her fingers, her head felt a little bit clearer.

He would save them, she just had to have faith in him.

But faith was never easy. That was what she repeated to herself in her worst and darkest hours when the world was asleep and she could only lie awake drowning in her fear. As she watched the flames creep closer, she was brought back another night long ago, one of the worst nights. The night where the nature of the world had been to revealed to her and she had made a promise to her mama.

Mama sat outside in the dark long after the rest of the city had gone to sleep. She watched her from the doorway. The house had been so quiet afterwards. It was worse than the pained and fevered cries of Eulalia. The weight of the silence that came after her death felt like it was physically crushing her.

“Mama?” she had wanted her to say something to ease that weight and make it all better again. She stepped outside and the feeling of being crushed eased, the sky above giving her room to breathe, to feel. Beyond the sea made its hushing sound and she felt safer, hearing something so familiar.

“Katarina, you should be asleep.” the words were not angry, they were… odd. They sounded flat. Even the noises they made after Eulalia’s death sounded wrong. The silence and the sounds were wrong. Everything was wrong. Mama did not even look at her. Mama sat in the doorway, staring down the sloping street to the dark rippling sea out beyond the walls.

“I-“ she frowned, chewing at her lip “It was too quiet, it’s too quiet without Eulalia.” Tears began to well up as soon as she had said her name. Eulalia had chattered non-stop, mostly at her. The infinitely more grown up Katarina had sometimes been annoyed when she tried to interrupt her chores to get her to play or to babble nonsense. The day after she had kept pausing and turning when she did her chores, as though Eulalia would be there, tugging on her dress. But she wasn’t and she never would be again.

“Yes, it is too quiet. The world is always far too quiet after a loss like that.” When she sat beside her she could see tears on her face. Mama had never cried not ever and she knew something fundamental in her world had broken.

Katarina looked above to the stars, as though They were listening in. But she had to know, she had to ask. The question wouldn’t go away no matter how much she prayed or tried to focus on her chores.

“Why was it Eulalia’s fate was to die so young?” she whispered, her eyes briefly darting up once again. She knew she shouldn’t have said it, but, but, it wasn’t fair. It was wrong.

“ Because it is. We cannot all have fair fates.” Mama said quietly.

“But-“ Her mind couldn’t make sense of it and but was the only word that would come. Why would they choose to give people bad fates? They were powerful, they could surely cure all disease or-

Her mother interrupted her before her thoughts could gather themselves. She turned and looked at her, a sudden urgency coming over her.

“Katarina, the Gods are not always merciful or kind. The world is not always merciful or kind. But we cannot defy the Gods and the fate chosen for us and we must have faith in them for they know best. No matter how cruel or tragic our fates are. But we can choose how we face our fates. The right thing to do is to accept your fate, no matter what it may hold We must have faith in the will of the Gods. We must be brave and face our fates, that is all we can do. Can you do that for me, Katarina?” she squeezed her hand.

“I will mama.” she said, chin held high, so determined to not to fail, to make her proud. Despite this, tears still flowed from her eyes.

“I know you will be brave, Katarina. Eulalia was brave, we must be brave now. Accepting her death is part of our fates.” Her mama tugged her hand and she down beside her and let herself be pulled into a hug, burying herself in her softness.

“But her life was also part of our fate, her laughter, her chatter. Remember that those were part of our fates, too. That the Gods blessed us with her, that Fate gave her time with us, even if only for a short while. It is those moments that make it easier to accept the fate we have been given, to be brave when we must face the harder parts of our fates.” Her mother hugged her close “We must take the blessings and the pains together, all intertwined, it is the only way we can live. Do you understand?”

Katarina nodded. Ever since Eulalia’s death, she had found that all her memories of Eulalia, even the happy ones, made her want to cry. It was as though a drape of fabric had been spread over them, sadness hiding all the good that lay beneath. But she would rather have those shrouded memories than to never loved her at all.

Against the vast darkness of the sky and sea, by her mamas side, she made a promise. She would accept her fate, whether it was good or bad. She would have faith in the Gods and their will. She would be brave about it. For the Gods, for her mother, for Eulalia, for herself. She would be brave.

They were cut off from the temple, the one place that the Doctor had said would keep them safe. The only way forward was to go to the city where the Evil Ones dwelled. She wanted to go home. But there was no way back to the mortal realm and even then her city had been destroyed. She did not know why the Gods had decreed it so, it was not for her to understand. All she could do was to face the obstacles in her path, to rise to them as best as she could. Do what mama had asked of her all those years ago.

She would be brave and have faith in the Doctor and she would face her fate with dignity, whether it was at the hands of the Evil Ones or some other unknown force. She would have faith. She took a deep breath and followed the others towards the city of the Evil Ones, her mother’s words guiding her.

Chapter Text

The impossible ship glided through the endless sea of stars. It had no sails or oars yet it moved smoothly and swiftly. More amazingly, Bret helmed it all by himself, no other crew necessary. It was absurd. It was magic.

Never had she thought it were possible to sail amongst the stars, let alone that she would do so. But here in this realm, all seemed possible, both the most hideous evil and the most wonderous beauty.

The stars streaked by the window in a hypnotic way but when she had reached out to touch them her hand had met an invisible wall made out of some cool, solid material. They had a calming effect on her, the silent movement of the distant stars, flowing past the window like water. Nevertheless she kept her hand on the barrier, as though she could feel them. Of course there would be a barrier in place, the wind must be fierce at the speed they were sailing at.

Her uncle had worked on a merchants ship before the war and claimed to have nearly been swept off the ship by strong winds many times. She had so loved his visits, when he would come and sit by their hearth, recounting tales of wild storms and far away cities. A part of her had always longed to go with him and now she was further from Troy than she could have imagined.

But the stars and the wonders of this realm did not wholly occupy her mind. Behind her she could hear the three men continuing to debate how they would defeat the evil ones. When they set a course for earth so they could warn the people there, she frowned for it was impossible. They were in the beyond. No one returned to the earth from there.

She did not turn around, hoping that someone would say something that would let her puzzle out how they could possibly be returning to earth. Could the Doctor be powerful enough to transcend the veil between life and death? It was beginning to dawn on her that she was in the middle of something much grander than herself. Just what did she have do with any of it?

The Doctor had become irritated by Steven’s questions so she held her tongue even though she felt like bursting with all the questions that she had. In Troy it had been easy not to ask questions but in this realm full of marvels beyond mortal understanding it was nearly impossible not to. It had to be a test the Gods had set for her, a difficult one, but she would prevail.

The endless stream of stars made her realise how small Troy had been for just as the stars disappeared, even more of them came into view. They had said the journey would take days. Who knew there were so many stars in the sky?

There was much she didn’t understand but she wanted to. She had never wanted much, she had never been allowed to want much. But she wanted this. To explore, to know, to see all of this realm. Surely that was no sin?

There was so much more to the world and when confronted with that fact, the fact that your home was only an impossibly small part of it, you could turn away and run or you could embrace it head-first. Katarina stood on the precipice, wanting to tumble forward into all the wonders that lay beyond everything that she had ever known.

“Katarina?” she turned to see Steven coming up to join her “Are you doing alright?” he smiled reassuringly.

“It has been a strange day but I am fine, truly.” she said no more, already finding it strange that someone in such a superior position would take any interest in her.

“Are you sure, I know this all must be a lot to take in.” he said softly, sounding like Cressida had when she had asked her about her impending death.

“I promise you that I am capable of facing any obstacles thrown in our path on our journey through the beyond, I know I’m only a handmaiden, but if this is the path the Gods have set me upon, I am more than willing to face it.” she assured him, drawing up her shoulders and looking him directly in the eye.

“Katarina, you know you’re not actually…” he trailed off and shook his head.

“Not actually?” she frowned, wanting to know what it was that he had to say to her.

“I’ll explain it later,” he smiled and shook his head but she knew something was not quite right. What wasn’t she being told? But of course there would be secrets, beings like the Doctor never were what they seemed. But she believed that the Doctor wouldn’t lead her astray, he would reveal all he needed her to know in good time.

There was a short silence before she spoke again, having realised something important. The Doctor had said not to ask him any questions. But he hadn’t said anything about Steven and he seemed like Cressida, friendly, despite being her superior.

“The Daleks, they are unbalancing this realm, yes?” she asked, wanting at least to understand just who, or what, they were trying to save this realm from. And the Doctor had never said she could not ask Steven questions.

“Well, what do you mean exactly?” he said, a furrow appearing above his brow.

“Demons and evil will exist no matter what, the world would not make sense if they did not. But these Daleks, they threaten to overstep and unbalance this realm, for they threaten the Gods, life itself, don’t they?” when she thought of them her whole body went cold. It was the voices that were the most chilling, she couldn’t even describe them, they were like human voices that had been twisted beyond recognition.

“Well, yes, you’re right, I suppose. They’re very evil creatures, they exterminate any lifeforms not like themselves. If they are allowed to take over the solar system, all other life would be wiped out, evil would triumph.” he said, his expression grim.

“Surely they would not kill women and children?” even the Greeks had spared the women when they had stormed the city, she had seen a huddle of them as she and Steven had made their way to the temple.

Her breath caught as she thought of her family. She had barely even thought of them. Mama and her sisters, Eirene. And Papa and Nikandros. Akakios, not even a man yet but that would not matter, he was dead all the same.

“Mama…” she whispered, a sob coming up, one and then another. She felt a hand on her arm and she suddenly remembered herself.

She gasped, her hand flying up to cover her mouth. She had crossed a line with her lack of control in front of him. She turned away from him and took a few breaths, composing herself. It was humiliating, having to turn around and face him after losing control in such a manner.

“I apologise, I should not have-“ shame burned through her, her face flushing red.

“Why are you apologising?” he seemed genuinely puzzled “Katarina you just lost your home, your family, you have every right to be upset.”

“Yes but it is not appropriate for me to be so open with you like that-“ Were things truly that different in England? Where servants were allowed to be so familiar with their betters? She felt vulnerable in a way she hadn’t felt in the forest with the evil ones.

“Katarina, I’m not better than you.” he said it like he was troubled by the idea, “you don’t have to be all… formal with me.” he shifted awkwardly on his feet as he said it.

“I understand.” she did not but she felt too tired to say much more than that. Navigating the beyond and the strange rules and customs of the Doctor and Steven... none of the myths ever really got across how tiring the heroes journeys were. And hers had only just begun. Wonderous but tiring about summed it up.

“I’m sorry about your family, everything. I can’t imagine that loss… you can talk about it if you like.” he left it hanging, and they slid into a peaceful enough silence. He seemed to want to comfort her but it did not feel right, letting him in. Nothing felt right.

In that silence, she began to remember those last moments in Troy. Of waving at her parents and turning away. Of the stench of smoke. The blood soaking the streets. It made no sense. Her people had been faithful to the Gods, attentive in their worship…

“Why would the Gods do this? What must we have done to displease them?” she didn’t even know she had said it aloud until Steven grasped her arm, a horrified look on his face.

“Katarina, none of that is your fault, do you understand me? None of it, not your family or the city,” he said “And no one brought this on your city, not you or anyone else.”

“But-“ she started, though Steven interrupted and it was fine because she hadn’t known what she wanted to say anyway.

“We can’t save everyone but we can do our best to save as many as we can. That’s what the Doctor does,” he paused, thinking of what to say, “Maybe we were powerless in Troy, but we’re not powerless here. But those lives lost, the fall of the city? Those are not your fault, it wasn’t a punishment, it was just… something terrible.”

She nodded, sensing that she shouldn’t argue it any further with him. But she knew that her people must have done something to anger the Gods. She could only hope that their suffering would be swift and their deaths merciful. Maybe the Gods would grant them that.

“I mean it,” he said “we do what we can and that's enough,” he turned from her and gazed out onto the stars streaming by.

“Will you be okay here? I just need to check in with the Doctor, I’ll be back in a minute.” he had the most calming way of speaking and she nodded, the tangle of grief easing just slightly.

He left her there, but thankfully her thoughts didn’t have much time to spiral further before the Doctor summoned her over, another wonder to show her.

She turned away from the stars, wondering just where this journey would go next.

…

Already they had landed ashore and set sail from yet another land. The land shrank away as they sailed back up into the stars, the dark green trees and the mud of the swamp transforming into patches of colour, then the stars and the endless night appeared in view, the greens and browns a perfect, shrinking circle in the midst of it all. But they had just been there on that land… and now it was suspended in the darkness. As she looked she realised it was not a circle but a ball. It was the most dizzying, beautiful sight she had ever seen.

The land they had been forced to land upon by the Evil Ones was a prison, used for nothing else. It had the air of a prison, too. It was desolate and murky, the smell of the mud overwhelming. Even the trees were gnarled and their shadows accentuated the darkness. Strange that from up high it all looked so serene.

Serene as it looked, she was glad to leave it behind. Those who dwelt on it were trapped there, no way out of that land, condemned to a miserable existence, never finding true peace or an end to their journey through the beyond

The Doctor had once again told her not to ask any questions but it became harder and harder with each new wonder she encountered. How did it stay floating? Magic presumably but she’d never heard of magic like that, magic that could keep all that soil and rock and trees floating, all of that weight. Did that mean that the Earth looked like that? Was it even possible for the Earth to exist in such a state?

She had begun to hope that their journey to the place of perfection would be a long one for she wanted to see the whole of this strange wonders of the beyond. The Doctor certainly did not seem to think it would end soon and her heart leapt at the thought of all she had still to see.

“Katarina, check up on that door and see that it is secure.” The Doctor said, the words jolting her. She felt her cheeks flushing, embarrassed that she had been caught off guard.

Though, it was hard not to be distracted with everything around her and all that was going through her head. Everything was shifting and changing, like that land turning from trees and mud into a sphere in the darkness, and she saw the world in a way that few mortals ever had. It was all so utterly impossible and wonderful.

She put those thoughts to one side and pressed the raised disc that somehow opened the door to the antechamber. As soon as it had opened, something heavy slammed into her.

She was grabbed, twisted around, pinned against something solid and large. Something sharp was held at her throat, poised to cut into her skin.

She screamed and grabbed at the arm trapping her, tried throwing it off so she could run, but it might as well have been made of stone. Her beathing quickened and she kicked fiercely but the person’s grip only seemed to tighten.

She couldn’t understand what anyone was yelling, her mind could only focus on the arm trapping her, she could feel her heart beating so fast and the press of the arm, pressing down so hard she was afraid it would break through her skin and crush her heart. He raged, demanding that the ship turn around, that they take him to the evil ones.

She was not naïve. Always she had been told to be careful, to be on guard. Not to walk down certain corridors alone. Not to invite unwanted attention. She had seen those girls who had a spark in their eye one day and all the life gone the next, as though they were just waiting to pass on. She had noticed the hungry looks of men, noble and servant alike. That would not be her fate, it could not be her fate. She cried out again, pushing as hard as she could.

The world tilted and she fell back into the antechamber, the impact reverberating through her, the landing cushioned only slightly by her captor slamming against the wall. The door sealed itself and she was trapped with him, the three men on the other side distant, their voices now nothing more than vague snatches of sound. She was trapped with this demon in the form of a man and he would surely claim her soul.

The man leaned in close and whispered words that she did not wish to understand. She did not stop struggling, would never stop struggling.

They fell into an unsettling rhythm, her grunting and shoving against the weight of his arm, him squeezing her harder, neither of them winning. The knife was still there, ready to cut in, but not yet. She struggled still but her breathing slowed and her head cleared and she finally realised where she was: the grey chamber.

Everything slowed down as she understood. It was time.

“…Bring that girl in here, or we will press a button and you will go outside the door into space.” The Doctor spoke and though he was still in the main chamber, his voice was so clear it was though he was in here with her. It made her feel just a little bit braver in the face of what she knew she must do.

“Then the girl dies too. If you open the outside door I'll press the inner release and then we'll all be dead!” her captor yelled, pulling her closer to his body, as though to remind them of the power he held over them. But he had not realised that neither of them had any power at all.

There was much she didn’t understand but she understood that they could not give into his demands. She had always understood sacrifice.

A feeling of calm spread through her body, that same relief she had felt when witnessing Troy’s destruction.

It was always going to have ended like this, whether by fire or by fathomless black depths, And she would die saving others, the most noble death of all. Those strange and wonderful sights, a heroes death… it was more than she ever could have asked for.

“We must be brave and face our fates. Can you do that, Katarina?”

“Yes mama, I can.” she whispered, imagining her words somehow finding her way to her, wherever she was now. She was being brave and she hoped mama would be proud of her.

She had made a promise to mama, so she stopped trying to push his arm off. He had left her one of her arms free, against all common sense. The Gods must have meant for it to be that way. It had always been inevitable and there was a beauty in understanding her role, her purpose.

She began to stretch, reaching for the button that would open the door and send them out plummeting down, down through the stars.

“Not that one! Katarina!” Steven cried on the other side of the door, so aggrieved at her fate like Cressida had been but just as powerless, so determined to save her at the cost of everything else. But there was a whole realm at stake, her own life was irrelevant in the face of that.

Her body strained, pain blooming in warm bursts as she pushed herself, and her hand brushed off the button, she just needed to reach just a little further, just a little further to save them all, she stretched some more, groaning and she brushed it again and stretched a little more, and finally felt it give underneath her hand.

She had saved them and just for a brief second the world was perfectly still and she felt a peace like she had never known before, ready for the embrace of the distant stars that awaited her.

The door opened and the world fractured into mere sensations: the tug of a mighty force pulling at her with its claws, trying to breathe and gasping as her lungs filled with nothing, nothing, the weight of her captor disappearing, her arms flailing, finding a long piece of smooth metal, gripping it as that mighty wind pulled at her and she was drowning in air, nothing was entering her mouth but still she was drowning, she tried to scream but that force seemed to be pulling and crushing her and-

There was a thud behind her and a loud noise and she dropped to the ground.

Her body shook from her sobs and felt the pain of her fall spread throughout her body. She gasped, no longer drowning but breathing once again… She put her hand to her wrist and felt the rapid thump-thump of heart. As the beat raced under her fingers, she realised that she was, impossibly, alive.

Chapter Text

The antechamber door opened and Steven ran in, the Doctor close behind.

“Katarina! You’re okay, you’re safe now, you’re okay, you’re okay.” he helped her up and led her back into the larger chamber.

Sobs wracked her body as she struggled to breathe, there was not enough air, there would never be enough air. She sank down against a wall and felt the weight of something being placed on her shoulders. She looked down to find her arms were covered by a thin metallic material.

“A blanket.” Bret stated. She looked up at him. “For the shock.” The Doctor bent down and helped her to tuck it around her.

“How…. I’m….. I was drowning…. but….” she tried to gather her words in her mind but they blew away from her like leaves on the wind. Her heart still thumped and she kept heaving.

“My child, that was incredibly brave of you,” The Doctor sat down beside her. “Few would sacrifice themselves so selflessly for their friends, for the world,” he seemed so impressed, by her, a lowly handmaiden. But it was nothing, it was just her following her fate as she was supposed to. Except it had not played out as it was supposed to.

Her fate had been to die but she wasn’t dead at all. She finally forced herself to really think about these past few hours. All those little signs and details but only now, feeling her heart beat steadily did she finally understand: she was not only not dead, but she had never been dead at all.

“I am not dead…” said out loud it sounded almost terrifying but that was far from the only truth she now had to face “You are not a God, are you? If you are not a God then who are you?” She had been avoiding the truth, ignored what did not fit her beliefs. When she had only pieces of the truth it had been easy to tell herself they did not matter, but she knew she could no longer hide from it.

“No, my child, I am most certainly not, as I have been saying, I am the Doctor, I’m a being from another planet, er that is, not human, but Steven and Bret here are humans, like you my dear,” he was somewhat exasperated, though he sounded more like a bemused parent than someone genuinely furious.

“It’s just-“ she said, but the Doctor put his hand on her arm.

“My child I don’t blame you for thinking so, I can understand how and why you came to that conclusion. You have taken all of this remarkably well, these new worlds and creatures,” he looked out over the ship. “Even people from time periods later than yours struggle to comprehend the sights I show them sometimes.”

“If I am not dead, then where am I? Bret said the year was 4000 and you all say we are returning to Earth… but how is that possible? I can’t be alive, I shouldn’t be alive! My fate… I had visions…” Her fate was to die. She was supposed to have died. For two years she had dreamed of her own death. But she could feel her stomach rise and fall with her breathing and when she pressed her fingers to her wrist, she could feel her heart thumping. There would be consequences for this, for the Gods did not like to be cheated.

“Well,” he paused for a minute, deep in thought “You are not in another realm. You are simply in a different year, a different location, a different time to your own. And as for your fate, well, it appears it wasn’t what you thought it to be, hm?”

“But…” panic swelled. Her fate was her fate, it simply could not change. But other things began to crowd her mind, and the question of her fate was pushed aside. There was far too much to grasp and it felt as though she might burst.

“You said it was a different year and Bret said it was the year 4000…” her voice was hardly more than a whisper. How many years ago had Troy been then? And how far away was this ship from Troy?

“Well, that thing you call the temple is my ship. It allows us to skip long distances and bring us to other places on Earth and other lands. Not only that but it also allows us to skip those days and years and bring us straight to another year, without us having to live those days, quite remarkable hm?” he said simply. That it was possible for him to simply choose the days that he lived in…

“But Troy… that was only…” she frowned, trying to make sense of it in her head. Troy had not even been yesterday. Yet it had also been many years since they had left Troy according to the Doctor. Another new idea but this was the most extraordinary of them all. She had never really thought of time before. For her, one day had come after another, the sun had risen and set, a steady cycle that had remained unbroken.

“Oh,” was all she could say to the extraordinary idea as she tried to work it out. But she wanted to understand. The others let her try, patiently sitting with her as she puzzled it out.

“So Troy was only yesterday, we just skipped all those other days and the ships speed brought us to Kembel,” she nodded, feeling as though she got the basic idea, “that’s remarkable, you surely must have powers of some kind,” her eyes were wide at this man who could just choose the days he lived as he pleased and travel great distances in mere hours.

“Oh no my child, I just have a very remarkable machine,” he chuckled but he stopped abruptly, his shoulders dropping “I hope we will be able to return to it soon,” that last part was whispered to himself.

Before she could respond to his worry for his temple, no, his machine, he spoke, though a trace of worry remained on his face.

“I am not in any way magical at all. Magic as you know it does not exist,” he said, and she gaped because that couldn’t be true, that surely could not be true. How could her dreams be explained? It was an affront to the Gods yet she knew from the way he spoke that he meant it not as an affront but as a fact of life.

“But surely it must, those creatures we saw, surely they are not magical, of the Gods?” she frowned, and gripped her dress tightly for everything she had believed to be true seemed to be coming undone around her.

“No, no, they are simply other inhabitants of the universe, not magical creatures at all. This realm, the universe, is a large one with many different planets – what you would call lands – that are home to many different creatures. Humanity are only one of many such creatures,” he spoke as though he wasn’t rewriting the basic laws of the world that she had never even known that she had adhered to.

“I see,” she whispered in a daze, not even sure how to begin understanding all that she had been told.

“It will not be easy, journeying with me. There will be much you have to learn, ideas and machines invented thousands of years after your time. But I believe that you are more than able to do so. I promise to teach you and keep you safe to the best of my abilities. I might not always be able to but I will always try my very best to. Do you understand, my child?” the Doctor waited for her to answer.

She nodded “Yes, my lord-“

He interrupted “And remember, I am also not a lord. Call me Doctor, that is what they all call me.”

“Yes, Doctor. I am willing to journey with you and help you defeat these Daleks. I presume this is to be my fate, for the time being,” she held her head high, trying to create some confidence within herself. Steven and Bret were like Nikandros, soldiers, the type of men who became heroes. She could never be a hero but she could surely help them?

She wanted to be brave, to be worthy as the Doctor seemed to believe her to be. Not a hero exactly but nearly as brave one.

“Very good my child, yes, yes. But for now, you must rest. You committed an incredible act of bravery and have taken in everything remarkably well, I believe you have more than earned a rest,” he said, giving her a small smile.

He turned to leave her be but he stopped, as though remembering something important.

“What I said before, about not asking questions, disregard that. I apologise for having said that to you, I did not think about you and all that you have experienced when I said it. It was very careless of me.” he said.

None of her betters ever apologised for anything. Not to people like her. Who was this strange man?

“To understand, you must ask questions, even if you feel that some of them are trivial. Steven and I will do our best to answer all of them, every single one, understood?” his expression was serious, as though this was of the utmost importance. She shook her head. Clearly he was overestimating her abilities. How was she to aid him on his quest?

“But I’m not sure I’ll be able to-“ she began but the Doctor waved her worries away.

“Nonsense my dear, you’ll be fine, even he has been able to broaden his horizons.” he gestured at Steven and chuckled to himself as he said it.

“Thanks.” Steven said.

She nodded, her body heavy, her mouth unwilling to open to reply. He let her be and Bret and Steven followed. She held out her wrist and put her fingers against it. Her heart was beating steadily. Definitely alive. If she were truly dead her heart would not beat so.

The Doctor said that this was the same world as her own but a different year. Though she now knew it was her own world, there was nothing familiar about it. She might not be dead but she knew that there was no way back. She longed for her life as it was only hours before, longed for home.

She began to cry, grief welling over for her city, her friends, her family. She longed to walk the corridors of the palace and go home to her parents and she only cried harder because she knew that it was all lost.

“Katarina?” Steven said.

“I’m sorry,” she tried to wipe her eyes hastily, “it’s not that I’m not-“

“Hey, it’s quite alright, it’s understandable that you’re a bit overwhelmed,” the gentleness in his voice eased the tight pain that had formed in her chest. “Look, you really do know that you can talk to me, you can trust us.”

Even though she now got the impression it would not be untoward if she opened up to him, it still felt odd. Though, truthfully, she was so tired and her mind was so full that she would have spoken even if had been King Priam himself.

“What if- what if I cannot do this? Be worthy of my new fate? I’m so scared,” she said, thinking back to those Daleks and the burning forest made the dread that she felt grow faster.

“You don’t have to do it alone, Katarina. The Doctor and I will be there to help. We’re a team,” he said “so you don’t have to deal with this, er, new fate, all by yourself,”

“You truly believe I am worthy to journey alongside you both, that I can be… a hero?” the words sounded even sillier when she spoke them aloud and she expected him to say that the Doctor had been exaggerating earlier.

“Yes, I do,” she waited for him to go on but he didn’t and she realised that he meant it. He truly believed that she had the spirit of a hero. No one had ever believed that she could be anything at all let alone a hero. Handmaidens were just handmaidens and that was that.

“It is not all so bad my child, there are many wonders out there that I cannot wait to show you, once we have sorted this trouble out,” the Doctor said, coming over to stand with the two of them. When he said it like that… well, hadn’t she always wanted wonders?

Ahead of her was a dangerous path and a fate she was not sure she could live up to, just how was she going to embark on it? Yet a part of her was singing with excitement for she was going to see so much more of the world than she ever thought she would.

And so the ship raced onward through the nothingness, carrying its strange crew forward on their mission to save the solar system. She looked out at the stars and she could swear that the space between them looked a little darker than it had before. But still, her fear felt just that little bit smaller.

…

Guardian Mavic, the leader who had betrayed his people, had a far more powerful grasp over his domain than they had first thought.

Bret’s friend, their hope of ending the Daleks plot, lay dead on the floor and the three men were arguing about what to do next.

Bret had killed him without even having to touch him, simply pointing a metal bar on a metal stick at him. There had not been a drop of blood shed, it looked as though he were asleep. Though he had been an enemy, she still wanted to give him some sort of blessing. She was about to ask when she thought she heard something outside in the hallway.

She only made it a few steps towards the door before a woman walked in, her expression hard and cold. The three men turned and walked over to stand beside Katarina.

Bret seemed particularly relieved to see her. It was the first time she had seen him smile.

“Sara, just the person we need to see!” despite the relief in Bret’s words, the woman’s expression did not soften.

“Is she a friend of yours?” she asked him, because Sara wasn’t relaxing in the same way Bret was. Before he could answer, she spoke.

“Which of you has the teranium?” she was pointing a weapon exactly like Bret’s at the group. She felt Steven nudging her behind him.

“Please,” Katarina said, “we can’t let it fall into the hands of the Evil Ones!” she felt herself blushing after speaking so boldly to the clearly dangerous warrior woman. But she had to try, had to try and do something.

“The what?” she looked at her as though she were a madwoman.

“The de-“ she remembered however that they were not demons for they were in the mortal realm, on earth, “The creatures, the Daleks!”

“You expect me to believe that? That’s your story for betraying the Space Security Service? The Guardian of the Solar System himself? And Daleks? You really believe the Guardian would ever ally himself with such vile beings? You disgust me.” she spat those last words and Bret looked genuinely hurt by them.

“Sara, please-“ he said but she silenced his pleas.

“Enough, my patience is wearing thin.” she pointed the gun at each of them in turn.

“My child, are you so naïve to think that your leader is infallible? That he could not be driven by greed and the desire for more power, hm? Think my child, why would any loyal member of your ranks suddenly turn traitor?” the Doctor said, unafraid of the woman’s icy glare. She still glared but it did not seem quite as impenetrable as it had before and she knew that she had to say something while she could.

“It’s true,” Katarina said, forcing her words up after the Doctor’s “He refused to believe that your Guardian of the Solar System was behind all of this until he saw his ship, that’s how we got here, in his ship. You must understand that he did not betray him lightly,” her heart pounded as she watched Sara, waiting, hoping that she would believe them all.

“I’m sorry to break it to you but the Doctor here saw your Guardian colluding with the Daleks with his own eyes.” Steven said forcefully, staring her down.

“Enough of this!” she gripped the weapon even tighter but before she could do anything, Bret leaped forward and shoved her to the ground.

“Go on! Get out of here!” he yelled at them. She stood there, stunned, but Steven tugged her along after the Doctor.

“But Bret!” she looked back and tried to slow down Steven who was pulling her along.

“We can’t my child!” the Doctor said, and though it was a command, it was clear that he was just as reluctant to leave him behind.

An agonised scream echoed through the corridors and she knew that it would follow her throughout all her days. Bret, dead. It should have been her but she was still here and running for her life, deeper and deeper into the maze of stark white hallways.

After what seemed like an endless series of identical corridors, they found themselves in a large round chamber with only a stand in the middle. Some sort of shrine, perhaps? They walked over to the stand and it turned out it held a strange little cage with some mice in it. As she got closer, she realised that was where the strange noise she had being hearing in this room was coming from. It sounded like a high pitched pop and it seemed to pierce her head. She guessed it was a shrine of some kind. Did these people worship mice?

The Doctor and Steven didn’t seem to know what it was either, with the Doctor calling it some type of “an experiment", whatever that was.

But the worship of mice nor “an experiment” were the most pressing matters at hand. The most pressing matter at hand was the fact that there was only one entrance into the room. They had to hope that Sara wouldn’t find them here and trap them like, well, mice.

She began to whisper prayers to the Gods, asking them to aid them on their mission against these Daleks, to ensure that it didn’t end here and guarantee the triumph of evil.

But almost as soon as she had begun to pray, Sara found them, bringing death with her. Who had she been to think that she could escape her fate? The trio stepped back as she advanced. Would the Gods truly allow evil to engulf the world? Was this how it would end?

The Doctor tried to plead with her and as he did she noticed that a tingle had begun to work its way through her body and then there was an awful noise that sounded like a horn being scraped and then-

It felt like she was being shattered into thousands of little pieces and those pieces were dragged out of the room, her very being scattered into the air and the world went dark.

…

Her eyes fluttered open. She eased herself up slowly for her body felt slightly fuzzy, as though she weren’t quite solid. She felt for her pulse and felt the steady rhythm of her heartbeat. Alive.

As her vision focused, she saw that she was no longer in the round room. Instead she was outside under a brilliant red sky. But how had she gotten here? There was no ship in that room, of that she was certain.

Something else felt odd. There was a presence, several presences. Part of her gifts from the Gods meant that minds had a certain shape to them. She could not read them but if she closed her eyes she knew where they were based on that presence and sometimes if the feelings were strong enough... She hoped that it was just the Doctor and Steven but there were too many for it to be just them. But the clearing was deserted.

“Doctor? Steven?” she called out, her heart beginning to thump. She stood up and looked around, but all she could see was foliage the colour of the sea.

Behind her a bush shook and the Doctor stepped out. She nearly fell to her knees in relief.

“Doctor! Praise the Gods, you’re alive! I was so sure we would die there. But I should not have doubted them.” She went over to him and helped him disentangle his foot from a vine.

“Nonsense my child, there’s always a way out, don’t you worry! And you are not destined to die, I assure you,” he said, patting her arm. They walked around the clearing, trying to find Steven. The Doctor disappeared through another bush. She followed him into another clearing, finding the mice shrine standing there, the mice unharmed and oblivious to their change of scenery.

“Ah, the experiment! These mice were the test subjects, to ensure that humans wouldn’t have to risk any potential harm.” The Doctor said, watching them scamper about with an amused look on his face.

“Experiment? Is that…” she asked uncertainly, frowning thoughtfully at the unfamiliar word.

“Ah, an experiment is, a test, to try and prove whether something is true or not. They are used by those that study science, to understand how the universe works. That particular item is a cage that ensures the test subjects couldn’t escape.” he said, looking at her to see if she had understood.

“So that is not a shrine.” she said flatly, staring at the scampering creatures within the cage. She hadn’t even been close with her guess as to their purpose, she couldn’t have fathomed its true purpose. She sensed that this would become a familiar feeling.

As they were pondering the mice, there was a rustling sound behind them. Steven stepped through, thankfully looking unharmed.

“Doctor, Katarina! Through here, quickly!” he gestured, beckoning them through the bushes. They followed him and found the woman, Sara, unconscious on the ground. Though she was out cold, Katarina stayed back, skirting around her like she would a rabid street dog.

“I have her gun, Steven held up the strange weapon. Gun. The word sounded hard and harsh, gun was an apt name for it.

“We’ll have the upper hand. Sort of. Where are we exactly?” he frowned up at the red sky, which managed to be both beautiful and ominous.

“Are we in another realm?” she stared up at the sky and wondered how many different realms were out there. Was this one another ball, like Kembel and that prison land? It didn’t look like a ball from where she stood but neither had Kembel or the prison land.

“No, no my child, this is in the same world as Earth and Kembel I assure you, travelling to other dimensions is beyond even my capabilities,” the Doctor said, shaking his head.

“Dimensions?” she sounded out the strange and long word with satisfaction.

“He means other worlds. This planet is in a different part of the same world as the Earth and Kembel. They’re both out there, somewhere.” Steven said gently, pointing up at the sky. She frowned, seeing nothing but red. He noticed her confusion “Ah, they’re too far away for us to see them. But they're out there.”

“How vast is the world then? How many different lands, planets, are there in this world, then?” she followed his gaze and looked up into the strange sky.

“I don’t know. No one knows. This world is so huge that we will probably never know all of the different planets that exist within it,” he said casually.

She took in a sharp breath, terrified and giddy all at once about the size of the world. There were more lands, or planets as Steven and the Doctor said, like this one. How many of them had creatures that could walk and talk like them? Did the Gods know about them all? They surely must do but she couldn’t quite imagine how they could keep a hold of a world that vast all at once.

She felt so small as she thought about it yet so excited at the idea of an unknown number of planets out there, invisible to them. There was so much more than she had ever thought. When she looked up at the stars in Troy, she had never imagined that there were other lands above her.

“You two,” the Doctor said suddenly “go hide over there, she's beginning to wake!” she and Steven went and crouched in some bushes nearby. Steven gripped the gun with the confidence of someone who had wielded one before. Again, she felt those presences. This time she knew they were not just the other three, no. They felt hostile but she remained silent, afraid of alerting the woman to their presence

The Doctor helped her up but it wasn’t long before she realised who the Doctor was. She went for her gun, only to find it missing.

“Where is my gun, hand it right now, you are in contempt of galactic law-“ if she was unnerved by her new surroundings she didn’t show it.

“Oh I don’t think so my dear!” he chuckled, unphased by her accusations, “no, we’ll be keeping that for the time being.” As he said it, Steven stepped out of the bushes, holding up the gun. Katarina peeped her head out and the Doctor nodded at her to step out.

“For the time being I think you had better stay with us,” he said to her “We don’t know what dangers this planet holds.” Was it not a very dangerous decision to keep her with them? The Doctor had to have his reasons, she had to trust him. But Sara was not the only danger.

“Doctor, I think there are others here,” she said.

“Did you see something?” he asked.

“No, but I could sense them.” Steven and Sara stared at her as though she had claimed to have personally met Tarhunt himself “I was blessed by the Gods, I have some gifts, not powerful ones, but some,” this did not seem to reassure them. But the Doctor at least seemed to take her seriously.

“Yes, yes, you mentioned your dreams of your death, I see. You have some psychic abilities it appears. Well it makes sense, Troy is built near… Oh never mind that now, we must get you three somewhere safe while I find out more about this planet we’re on.”

The Doctor led them on through the foliage and explained how they had came to be here. Even Steven and Sara looked confused when he first tried to explain it which meant she didn’t feel too bad when he had to explain it again to her in simpler terms.

She and Steven were amazed at the idea of teleportation. Going from one place to another? With no ship or vehicle? It surely had to be magic but he claimed that it was just human knowledge that had enabled them to do that.

Could knowledge really allow them to perform marvels like that? She had thought only the Gods could do something like that or the Doctor, whatever he was. But mortals? The fact that such knowledge existed and that mortals could wield it… This experiment proved to her the power that humans had harnessed, but not the cost of gaining such power.

The Doctor left them in a cave where they were at least some distance away from those hostile presences. She stood behind Steven, afraid of what she might do to them.

But Sara made no move towards them and just stood across from them, glaring. They all remained silent, the two sides watching the other, waiting.

Steven was the one who finally snapped, the events of the past few hours boiling over.

“He was the one person who could have warned them and put a stop to Guardian Mavic! But you killed him!” he strode over to her, as though challenging her.

“He was a traitor,” she said simply, “he had to die,” there was no emotion in her voice as she said it, as though killing had been nothing. Katarina had cared for enough injured soldiers to know the burden of such an action and the woman’s calm was deeply unsettling.

“You four stole the teranium, the most valuable mineral in the universe, the mineral needed to keep the peace in the Solar System!” she said in the same emotionless tone.

“But what was the teranium even supposed to do?” he grabbed her, making her look him in the eye.

“I don’t know, I had my orders and that was all I need to know!” she retorted, holding her gaze steady.

That’s what soldiers were supposed to do. That was what Nikandros had done, he had obeyed. He had done it for Troy, and this woman, Sara, had done it for Guardian Mavic. She herself had served Cassandra without question. A creeping feeling of understanding came over her and she felt afraid because she saw herself in her.

She had always thought it honourable, to serve unquestioningly. But looking at Sara’s haunted expression, something in her twisted. What happened when a person obeyed orders that caused great harm? Was it right to disobey then? Would she have disobeyed an order if she thought it would have caused harm? It unsettled her to find that she did not know.

Steven was unimpressed by Sara’s reasoning. If anything, her answer only seemed to sharpen his fury.

“You had your orders!” he scoffed, “you didn’t even think about why one of your own was a traitor? You couldn’t even question your Guardian Mavic and you couldn’t just listen to Bret!”

Sara swallowed, a brief expression of unease crossing her face. She took in several deep breaths before answering him.

“What do you want me to say, that I believe you?” she sounded desperate. Gone was her stoic mask, she looked almost frightened.

“It is true,” Katarina said softly, clutching the fabric of her dress tightly. But Sara didn’t yell or move to strike her. Instead she looked uncertain, her shoulders dropping. She looked between the two, eyes wide.

“But it mustn’t be…” She looked disconcertingly vulnerable. Somehow it was more unsettling than when she had been emotionless, to see the enemy showing a glimpse of humanity.

“I’m afraid it is, my dear,” the Doctor said, walking back into the cave. His voice was soft and it seemed that there was no triumph to be found in being proven correct.

“But Bret had to be killed,” Steven said with disgust.

“Shut up,” she looked so lost “Bret Vyon was my brother,” as soon as she had spoken those words she fled, as though she could run from what she had done.

The three stood there, unsure of how to react to Sara’s revelation. Her own brother… an order to kill her own brother and she had obeyed. Orders were to be followed, that was the way of the world. A weight settled in her stomach but before she could think about it further, Sara rushed back in.

“Something touched me! There’s something here!”

“I had been about to warn you about that. They are the Visians, the natives of this planet, Mira. Those were the presences you sensed Katarina,” the Doctor said “They are invisible and also incredibly vicious creatures, we must move immediately to escape the danger they pose,” he led them out of the cave.

They had no time to dwell on Sara’s confession. The Daleks were near and there were invisible monsters after them. So they continued onward, Sara joining them in an uneasy unspoken alliance. As they walked, it was not the threat of the Daleks that haunted her the most but the fact that she understood Sara perfectly.

Everything that had guided her through life meant nothing here. What was unquestioning obedience when the leaders had harnessed the power of the Gods, were bent on the destruction of all life? It was not just that her city had been razed, but everything her people had believed had turned to dust. Only she remained of that once glorious city, a mere handmaiden with the most impossible quest ahead of her. All she could do was pray that she had the strength to see it through.

Chapter Text

For the past month they had been fleeing to different planets and different times in an effort to keep the teranium out of the grasp of the Daleks and Guardian Mavic. Though the Doctor could not control where the TARDIS would bring them, the TARDIS always kept them just ahead of the enemy.

Fate seemed to enjoy toying with them, its path leading them into dangerous situations with no way out until the last possible second. But it was not all terrifying near-misses. In between all that were the wonders of the universe, things she had never even thought to dream of.

Some days her head was so full with all that she had seen and learned that she couldn’t sleep. Some days she felt like weeping, out of a longing for Troy, because she wasn’t sure if she could face any more of it.

When she felt as though she were about to burst, she prayed. Even though her faith was being altered along with the rest of her, her prayers had not changed. The words and their steady rhythm remained the same, and when she finished them she still felt a sense of pure stillness.

It reassured her that her Gods were still there and listening, guiding and protecting them, even if the others did not believe it. Even if they had punished her city.

Her relationship with the Gods had become… strained. She did not want to be unfaithful but some days she found it difficult to reconcile this new world with what she had always known and believed.

On that particular night, she badly needed the stillness prayer brought her. Everyone else had long since gone to sleep and it was during those quiet hours she found it best to pray. Though she now knew the TARDIS was not a temple, the Doctor allowed her to pray in the console room when he was not flying the ship. There the humming was strongest and it felt as though she were praying to, well, something.

The soft humming noise accentuated this sense of unreality, reminding her that she, too, now existed outside of everything. She could even feel its presence in her mind, something the Doctor said was connected to the fact that she sometimes had visions of the future in her dreams. The space was not merely a vessel, but something else altogether.

She had of course apologised to it for nearly setting it on fire when she first encountered it and now it felt like as much of a friend as Steven did, its presence a quiet comfort that brushed against her mind. Apologies made, it now received her prayers gladly.

She entered the console room only to find it was not empty. Sara sat on the sofa, staring off into the distance. Seeing her there made Katarina hesitate in the doorway. Not that she didn’t trust her, no, Sara had proven her loyalty again and again. But there was still something intimidating about her and she never knew what to say her. Not like with Steven or even the Doctor.

As she turned to leave her be, she heard her sniff. She turned back and looked at her properly and saw that she was crying. Despite her nerves, she knew she could not just leave her there alone.

“Sara, are you well?” she said, tentatively stepping in to the console room.

She started slightly upon seeing her, then shook her head, looking away once more. But Katarina could see that she needed to say something, her whole body was taut with everything she was holding in. After a minute, Sara looked at her again and seeing that she was still there, she finally spoke.

“You wouldn’t understand,” she said, sighing and clasping her hands, “you couldn’t possibly.” The TARDIS hummed in its strange alien way, making the silence seem less fraught.

“I can try,” she said, sitting beside her and waiting for her to gather herself.

“Katarina, I killed my own brother. How can I ever return from that?” when she eventually spoke, she sounded so weary. The heaviness in her voice made it seem as though her words were physical things that she had had to drag out of herself.

They sat in silence once again. It would do no good to rush this. What she had done had been a shadow cast over them all and no one had wanted to broach it with her. How could they bring up something that big and dark? But Sara was the one who had spoken and she knew she had to say something.

“You know, I don’t think you’re a monster.” The girl she had been before would have, but she was learning that the world was far more complicated than that. Even if she did not know her well, she knew that she was not evil.

Sara just stared at her for a minute and then shook her head. “I know you’re trying to help but I really don’t think there’s anything you could do. It cannot be undone.” but Katarina was not ready to leave it there. She sat up, hoping that Sara would listen to her if she did not look as fragile as she believed her to be.

“No, it can’t. But that does not make you evil, I mean it.” she spoke with the firmest tone she could manage “I’m not saying empty words to placate you, I truly mean them.” Saras stoic expression slipped. The façade of the warrior was fully gone, leaving someone who looked so pained, so utterly human.

“Why?” her lips barely moved as she said it.

“I’m not saying that what you did was not wrong,” she spoke quickly before Sara could interrupt her, “but I do not believe that you’re evil. When the Doctor told you the truth the easy thing would have been to reject it so you did not have to confront the enormity of what you had done. But you did. You want to be better. It is no easy thing to confront a truth that makes a mockery of everything you believe.”

“It’s not just that, not just Bret. It’s everything,” she looked at her with a such a look of fear on her face. Sara who usually was so brave, so fearless, looked so very lost. “All of it was a lie, everything I believed in and fought for. I thought I, knew my place in the world but I never did, not really.” As she said it Katarina experienced the most unexpected feeling: recognition.

“I think I know how you feel.” she said quietly, “Everyday I’m questioning all that I knew, not only the knowledge I had of the world but all the things I was taught about being a good person. You know, I even have something of an idea of what you are going through. I took a life.”

“That’s not-“ she started but Katarina shook her head.

“I know, but what I am saying is that I have something of an idea of what a terrible burden it is to bear. I know that if I had not done it we would not have been able to make it back to earth and the Daleks would have gotten what they desired but still, knowing that I took his life, it feels awful.”

She knew it was not quite the same as Sara's situation but she hoped that Sara knew she was not alone in struggling with having committed such a deed. For the most part she had made her peace with it, for if she had not done it, the solar system would be at the mercy of the Daleks and Guardian Mavic. But sometimes it haunted her, the fact that a man was dead because of her. It was how she had not even touched him, merely pressing the button had been enough to end his life. It should not have been so easy.

She reached over and squeezed Sara’s hand and Sara squeezed back, looking a little less troubled. They were linked, far away from homes and beliefs and selves that they could never return to.

“It’s hard, having to wake up every day and remember what I’ve done.” Sara said, though she sounded at least somewhat calmer than it had before, “I’m not sure I can return from that.”

“But already you are. Now you are fighting for your brother, for justice. You can become someone better. You are becoming someone better.” Once she would never have thought forgiveness for killing a family member would be possible but that was before she had met Sara, before she saw how hard she strived to be a hero, to defend those who were vulnerable to tyrants and monsters.

And it was what she had been trying to do. To become someone who could be worthy of the belief the Doctor had in her, to be someone who was capable of helping to defend the universe.

“I wanted to preserve the peace that Guardian Mavic won after the war. The stories my parents told about what they had gone through… I never wanted anyone to suffer what they had suffered. I was so proud when I was inducted into the Service. I gave everything to them and they made a mockery of it.” It was not the icy fury from when they had met her first but something deeper, something more raw and pained.

“The times I remember from before the war were so… golden. I can understand why you trusted Guardian Mavic and his ideals.” she clasped her hands, remembering the long siege, the years of waiting, waiting for it all to come crashing down.

“You know,” she looked up at Sara, “With all that I am learning, I cannot help but question what I was taught, too. As I learn more about the universe, I realise that the way I understood the world was limited.”

“Yes…” Sara said, running her hand along the soft material of the sofa “It’s all far more complicated than I was ever taught.”

“Sometimes I’m so scared and I want to go back. But…”

“We can’t”

“No. Our worlds are gone, we have to rebuild ourselves and our worlds and it’s painful.” she said quietly, that longing flaring up again, a longing she knew would always be a part of her.

“I think you’re right. It hasn’t been easy but I would rather be here, doing what’s right than still believing in a lie. Maybe you’re right… maybe I can be better.” she leaned back, relaxing, and for the first time that night, she smiled. It was small and quick, but it was a smile.

They sat there comfortably for a few minutes, lulled by the gentle hum of the TARDIS. Sara somewhat lighter so Katarina knew it was time to steer the conversation in other directions. And she had the perfect topic to begin with.

“Well, I know the Doctor and Steven certainly trust you. Steven especially seems to like you.” she said, smirking at her. Another thing that hadn’t changed: people being impossibly oblivious to love.

Almost instantly a mutual attraction had formed between them. It astounded her how quickly it had happened, she could not imagine just feeling like that about a stranger. But weeks went by and neither of them so much as acknowledged it, well, she would just have to nudge them along.

“What about us?” she replied, then she realised what Katarina was insinuating “No, Katarina there’s nothing like that!” her face turned red and she held herself strangely, as though she didn’t quite fit into her body.

It was clear that she wasn’t quite ready to confront it just yet. But they would have some time, at least. She only hoped that she would be there to see them finally admit their feelings to each other.

“Of course, of course,” she smirked and held her hands up, letting the conversation drift off. She was no novice, she knew matters like this required a delicate touch and she knew that they’d get there eventually.

Neither of them were quite ready to retire for the night just yet, and the words began to flow between the two of them. Katarina about Troy, the stories she learned by heart at the fireside from her parents, her fellow handmaidens, her family. In turn, Sara told her about joining the SSS, her own family, the stories that she had been raised on, those of heroes defending the galaxy. It felt as easy and as comfortable as it did when she had talked with her fellow handmaidens in those late hours. Such conversation had always felt almost sacred, for in those quiet hours was when she had found that people tended to bare their souls and all that they truly were.

They made their way back to their rooms and Katarina realised that she felt at ease around Sara. She had not been sure she would ever understand Sara because of how different their worlds were but like with many things in the past month, fate had a funny way of surprising her.

“Thank you,” Sara said softly, pausing before she went into her room.

“I’m glad we don’t have to do this all alone.” she smiled and Sara nodded, the two united in a perfect understanding. They both went into their rooms, to sleep before whatever they would have to face next. She felt just a little less alone in the strange world she had found herself in.

…

Of the many marvels she had discovered during her time with the Doctor, reading was one of the most wonderful marvels of them all.

In Troy, only scribes had needed to read. Most written works were official documents, records that kept track of things like food stores and the army. But that was not the case in the rest of the universe. Books as it turned out could contain anything. They could contain myths and legends, knowledge about the most strange and complex of topics.

When she had discovered all that books could contain, of course she had wanted to learn how to read and she wanted to learn while she could. Books were windows into the secrets of the world. Once she learned to read, she could learn about far off worlds and how machines worked. She could read stories about Trojan heroes and daring alien adventurers.

It was a slow process but it was a challenge that she relished. The other three helped her, helping her sound out words and showing her how to write. Between destinations they would practice with her. Of the three months she had spent on the TARDIS, she had been learning how to read for two of those months and it was slowly coming together.

She was in the console room, making her way through a children’s book full of bright pictures and short, simple words. By now she could recognise all of letters and some short words.

She sounded out the letters and tried to make sense of the words. From what she could glean so far, it told a delightful story about a caterpillar who was very hungry. The Doctor had suggested starting there, as learning to read simple sentences first would not only make reading less challenging but make learning English less challenging as well.

For two weeks she had believed that they spoke Luwian. It was not until she mentioned how unusual some of their phrases were that she discovered Steven and Sara did not know a word of Luwian and said that not only did they speak English but she had been, too. After a very confused conversation with Steven and Sara, the Doctor had come in and cleared it up, explaining how the TARDIS translated languages. To her it was still a mystery as to how that was not magic but apparently it was not, with the Doctor insisting that a machine did it.

After thinking it over, she had come to the decision that she also wanted to learn English in addition to learning how to read. It would make learning to read easier and that later in Earth’s history it was one of the most widely spoken languages, to the point where it was spoken in many galaxies across the universe. To have such a widely-spoken language and not have to rely on the TARDIS translating would be beneficial, the Doctor had noted. The TARDIS was helping for she now heard all but the most important conversations in English rather than Luwian.

She flipped the page and started on the next sentence when someone came in.

“Your reading is coming along rather well Katarina,” she looked up from her book to find Steven had come into the console room.

“Thank you, the words are starting to make sense. English is not an easy language to learn, I must say,” she said, rubbing her head. As tiring as it was, she loved learning about so many strange and wonderful things. Today she was learning about the delightful tale of a very hungry caterpillar. “I am enjoying this book immensely.”

Steven picked it up and smiled “I loved this one as a child, my mum would read it to me and my sister.” his smile vanished and he stared at it as though it was a tether to his past that would bring him back if only he could grasp onto it.

“Oh, sorry, I have your book!” he startled and quickly handed it back. He was clearly embarrassed but she shook her head.

“No need to apologise, I think I am done reading for today.” she took it and held it in her lap.

At that moment Sara walked in and sat beside her. They had settled into a routine on the days they remained on board the ship. Katarina would practice her reading and Steven would join her, followed by Sara once she had finished her daily exercise routine. They began talking. At first it had mostly been about their quest but as they got to know each other better, talk often strayed to other topics.

“How’s the reading going?” Sara asked.

“It is difficult but incredible. It is remarkable, the idea of all those books. You could learn the answer to any mystery with the right one.” she replied.

“Wait until you’re ready to use the Internet.”

“The Internet, how quaint,” Sara arched an eyebrow.

“Oh I’d like to try and see you navigate the depths of the Internet.” Steven rose to her comment and they slipped into what was fast becoming a familiar pattern.

She had little to say when they got talking like that and as she sat and listened, she could not help but wander back to the vision she kept having in her dreams. It was another vision of destruction but it was somehow worse than Troy. When Troy fell, there would be ruins left, the land marked by her people.

But in that vision the world decayed and turned to dust, all life obliterated.

“Katarina? Are you okay?” Steven and Sara were looking at her intently.

“Just had that dream again last night,” she tried to sound dismissive of her fears, knowing what Steven and Sara thought about her visions. But she knew what reassurances were coming.

“Katarina, it was just a dream. That’s not going to happen.” he said it reassuringly, which always slightly annoyed her. It was one thing to dismiss it but another to treat it as though it was just her being foolish. Could he not trust her gifts? He exchanged a glance with Sara and she nodded.

“Look, even if your dreams are real, doesn’t mean everything’s set in stone.” Steven said “I’ve been with the Doctor a long time, you’d be amazed at the amount of tight corners he’s gotten us out of.”

“Aren’t we trying to reassure her?” Sara raised an eyebrow.

Steven sighed “The point is that we always escape these situations in the end. Not that it isn’t scary but there’s always a way.”

“When you put it like that, I suppose it’s not so different from being in the Space Security Service, I had some close calls, too.” Sara said. “Usually I only avoided them because of my fellow agents.”

“Exactly, we have each other!” Steven grabbed onto the thread, “We’ll keep you safe. And we’ll make sure the Daleks won’t win, not like in your nightmares.”

Katarina nodded. When they spoke in that assured way, a small part of her did really believe that they had total control, that a different fate could be chosen if you didn’t like it. As dismissive as they could be when it came to her visions, they always managed to bring her some comfort.

Steven hugged her from the side and Sara even gave her a quick reassuring pat on the back.

Even if she did not believe them, something about their conviction was soothing. She couldn’t imagine going on this quest without them and she didn’t want to.

As Steven pulled away, his hand brushed off Saras and jolted apart. They mirrored each other, their hands desperately searching for somewhere to rest, their bodies turned slightly away from each other. It was time. Besides, she was ready to move on from her dreams for the time being.

She smirked as she watched them for this had not changed. Oh, Steven and Sara knew so much and had all their amazing machines. But just like so many she had known in Troy, they could not acknowledge their own feelings for each other. Even thousands of years later, all the knowledge humans had amassed still did not mean that people understood their own hearts. Luckily she was on hand to nudge them onto the right path.

She herself did not have much experience herself but she had observed it plenty of times. The glances, the skittishness, the heated denials. She knew what she had to do, for the sake of her friends and herself and the Doctor who had to witness it each day.

“Are you both well?” she asked, eyes wide and her voice so perfectly innocent. They both nodded, staring at completely random walls, anywhere but at each other.

“It’s just…” she softened her voice, perfectly pitched and-

“Katarina.” Steven said sharply, giving her exactly the response she had wanted.

“Well, it’s just-“ she began again, her voice just a bit more teasing.

“Just what.” Sara glared but it just encouraged her to go on. This had been a while coming.

“You two seem rather…” she let the moment stretch out, looking between the two of them, “friendly.”

“Katarina, I think you’ve misread the situation.” he said, trying his best to sound patient but his voice wavered.

“The way you both talk to each other, look at each other… it’s clear that you both quite like each other.“ she tried not to giggle too much because she wasn’t teasing another handmaiden but two soldiers. For soldiers, emotions had to be put to one side but as a consequence they were left floundering whenever they did have to confront them. Steven hid it better than Sara but he was almost as awkward as she was.

“Fine, there is on my part but you’ve misread Sara-“

“No, she hasn’t.” Sara said quietly, looking up at him.

“What?”

She had never found it so hard not to laugh and that included when a chicken had gotten loose in the temple and had started to peck at Cassandras dress while she tried in vain to subdue it.

“I do like you, Steven Taylor, but…”

“I understand-“

“No, it’s not that it’s just, I don’t want anything like that, not right now, at least.”

The two stared at each other and it quickly became apparent neither of them had any idea what to say next. Did they really know this little about emotions? But then again, they were soldiers, and soldiers were not trained to understand the matters of the heart.

“You both still need to talk about what you do want.” she said to them, all traces of giddiness gone. The worst thing either of them could do was try and pretend the conversation had never happened. In the palace it had become increasingly difficult to keep track of who was avoiding who because of arguments sparked by people not being honest with each other. She had been the intermediary far too often and she would not allow history to repeat.

“I suppose that wouldn’t do us any harm.” Steven said.

“Alright.” Sara said quietly, looking slightly ill at ease.

“It will be worth it,” she said reassuringly to them both. “If anything it’ll make our quest smoother if we're all open with each other.” she added that for Sara’s benefit and it worked because she nodded, a determined look now on her face.

They stood up and Katarina nodded at the door and waved her hand towards it, ushering them out.

She leant back in her seat, satisfied, for her work was finally done. Now they could finally move beyond their less than subtle glances across the table in the TARDIS kitchen.

“What’s all this fuss about?” the Doctor strode in at the perfect moment and found Steven and Sara bright red and staring at each other.

“Oh, I just think I may have finally gotten Steven and Sara to actually talk to each other about their relationship,” she said, getting up from her seat.

“Finally! It is tiring seeing you two dance around your feelings for each other! These things need to be out in the open!” the Doctor raised his eyebrows, staring at them both as though trying to get them to go towards each other again.

Everyone was stunned into silence. She had assumed that the Doctor was above their petty emotions but she had been wrong. By the tone of his voice, he seemed just as concerned about it as she was.

“Go on you two, there’s no point in wasting any more time!” he shook his head at them fondly, as though they were two foolish children.

Steven and Sara looked at each other blushing, their mouths opening and closing as they both tried to find something to say to each other.

“The library?” Steven gestured down the corridor “Not quite where I thought…”

Sara cut him off “Yes, that would be perfect.”

In moments like that, things did not seem so different from life in Troy. Over the course of her travels in these past few months she had come to realise that in so many ways people were still the same, still falling in love, still misunderstanding each other, still finding their way to one another.

It made her feel a little more grounded, that not everything was completely unrecognisable. The knowledge that it was something that could have just as easily happened between people she had known in Troy comforted her enormously.

“You have quite the way with people, my girl!” the Doctor chuckled. He patted her arm, clearly pleased at how things had gone.

“Oh, I knew couples like them in Troy, it’s not so hard to get those kinds of people to admit their feelings for each other if given a gentle push, I’ve found,” she said shyly.

“But they are a particularly stubborn pair, I must congratulate you on getting them to finally admit their feelings,” he smiled, seemingly pleased with not only Sara and Steven but her, too.

“Luckily such things have not changed much in the past millennia. Besides, I have seen too many potential relationships fail because they were too afraid to admit to each other that they were not ready.” she said, ducking her head slightly, pleased at this praise. When she received it from someone as remarkable as him, it was a wonderful feeling. They smiled conspiratorially about them and it almost felt like the Doctor was her equal.

“My dear, you do not need to rise from your seat every time I walk into the room,” he said softly.

“Of course,” she said, slightly embarrassed.

“I know that you know I’m not a God but I’m also not above you, do you understand me?” he said, raising an eyebrow.

“I do,” she said, though she didn’t know how to make sense of that. She knew he wasn’t a God but he had this wonderous machine and always seemed to cheat death at the last possible moment. Therefore he must have been a powerful being of some kind. And yet he clearly cared about them, about their lives and concerns, in the way that a friend would.

“Very good my child,” he patted her arm, “you did well in helping Steven and Sara open up to each other,”

“Thank you, it was nothing at all,” she said, just truly pleased to see her friends happy.

“No, that is a rare skill my child, to navigate emotions as well as you do,” he said and she smiled, allowing herself to feel pleased at the compliment.

As she stood there, a sense of contentment filling her, she realised that it felt something like a home.

Chapter Text

A year and a half of fleeing, of impossible places like living houses and a giant clock, and they had returned to Kembel. There was something poetic about it, that their quest would end there. The TARDIS could only have helped them run for so long and she knew that she was soon to meet her fate.

The city of the Daleks was eerily quiet. Their breathing seemed to echo, their footsteps far too loud. Separated from the Doctor, they had ventured in, hoping to find him. She prayed that if the Doctor were in here, he was not injured. The further they ventured in the less sure she was that it even was a city. It was certainly like no city she had ever been to.

For one it was one large complex, not a series of buildings and streets. And it was bare. No sculptures or tapestries adorned the halls, no market stalls or shrines. It felt hollow, devoid of life. Had they no temples for worship? Or places to gather and meet with each other? The Doctor had said they only had the capacity for hatred and walking through their bare city she now truly understood what that meant.

Oddly, there was not a single Dalek roaming the halls. They advanced slowly, sure that behind each new door that they would be lying in wait. But every time the door would slide open silently, revealing only more empty, echoing hallways.

They had not spoken since venturing into the city and the only noise was the echo of their footsteps. Sara and Steven seemed calm, but they were warriors, used to going into situations knowing that they may die. She was glad that they walked in front of her because they couldn’t see how she was trembling, how she fought to take every step forward.

But she had promised her mama that she would be brave, so she walked deeper into the dead city, silently reciting prayers of protection to the Gods. As she entered she knew her end was drawing ever near. It was here that she would fulfil her fate, in this barren city.

“Why haven’t they tried to apprehend us yet?” Sara stopped suddenly, finally voicing what they had all been thinking. She jumped slightly at the sound of his voice, far too loud in the silence.

“They’re preparing to enact their plan, they obviously need every Dalek available,” Steven shrugged slightly.

“But none remained to guard the place?” Katarina asked, rubbing her arms in an effort to comfort herself. A chill swept over her. Despite the heat of the jungle outside, the city was oddly cold and it just made it feel all the more unsettling.

“This has to be a trap,” Sara looked around, gun raised to greet any Dalek that dared to so much as twitch. “We can’t press on, it’s too dangerous.”

“We have to stop the Daleks,” Katarina said, trying to sound confident like the other two. It was fated that they would stop them, there had never been any choice.

“Katarina’s right, we have to keep going, if the Doctor is there then we have no choice,” Steven said.

“No, we’re dealing with the Daleks, it would be foolish to go on, I say we go back and wait for the Doctor to find us.“ Sara kept her gun raised.

“We have no choice Sara. The Daleks could be preparing to enact their plan right now, we can’t wait.”

“What if it’s a trap? What then?” if Sara was that afraid then their situation was truly dire. But they could only go forward.

“Well, that’s just the risk we have to take. There’s far too much at stake.” he said quietly. Sara just stood there and a hush fell over the city as she considered. Finally, she nodded.

“Just be careful. We go slowly” she said.

“Of course” Steven whispered, nodding.

Her whole life come down to this moment. In the silence, she decided to let herself have a moment to remember Troy. She thought of her family, the sound of songs from festival days, the feeling of cool sea water lapping against her skin, everything that she had treasured dearly and everything she would miss.

She might not have been a hero, not even after all these months but that’s what heroes did: they left behind those they loved and stepped into a far grander story. She had become part of one for reasons she would never understand and it had been the best and hardest thing she had ever done.

She wondered what they would find in the heart of the city. Likely the commander of the Daleks and Guardian Mavic. Perhaps their commanders had the Doctor held there. Perhaps he had defeated them already, for there was no telling what tricks he would pull. She had learned that much on this journey.

Steven and Sara came to a stop in front of her. Before them lay the doors to the very heart of the city. They all looked at each other, a suspended moment before they went in to face the Daleks. The door slid open and-

Nothing.

No, not nothing. No Daleks but there was something else. In the centre of the room stood the Daleks time machine.

They had abandoned their time machine. Why would they risk letting their enemies gain access to something so powerful? She looked around, expecting the Daleks to glide into the chamber but still it remained utterly silent.

It felt almost disappointing that they were not here. She had prepared herself for the end, had just wanted it to happen so she could stop dreading it. But she supposed she should not have been surprised, given all the way fate had toyed with them these past months.

“Katarina, keep watch.” she turned towards Sara and nodded, and went over to the entrance to take up her post. Her heart beat rapidly and her whole body felt ready to flee at the slightest sound.

She could hear Sara and Steven coming up with some plan involving something called an intercom system. Still so many things she simply did not know and for so many things she could still not even begin to conceive of their purpose.

Suddenly, Sara’s voice seemed to fill the room. Katarina looked up the ceiling, startled by how it seemed to surround her. She could not resist her curiosity and looked back at Sara and found her speaking into a conical object.

Katarina quickly turned back, keeping a lookout for any Daleks so she could warn the other two should any emerge. But the halls remained empty and she found herself thinking of Troy and wondered if the streets had been as hushed once the bloodshed had ended.

She gripped the doorframe tightly, trying not to think of her home. Troy might have been fated to fall but the Solar System wasn’t. Still, she couldn’t stop imagining the streets of her city as desolate and lifeless as the Daleks city was.

“Katarina, come on!” Steven grabbed her arm and pulled her away from the door and back out into the halls of the city.

“Where are we going? Did you find out where the Doctor is?”

“Possibly, but we better hurry!” Sara said, already halfway out of the room. She followed them until they reached a dark and dim room lined with cells. But the Doctor was not there, which was both a relief and a worry.

Instead they found Guardian Mavic and the other delegates in the prison cell. So that was who Sara had been communicating with. There were no Daleks anywhere in the base because even these prisoners had been left unguarded. But if not here, then where?

“Do we let them out, then?” Katarina asked in a low voice, warily eyeing the delegates who had been betrayed by their allies. Guardian Mavic glowered at them. The look on his face reminded her of the High Priestess when one of them had managed to irritate her (which was often).

“No, we can’t trust them,” he said.

“But they might be our only chance of any of the other galaxies being warned of the Daleks plan,” Sara, spread her arm out, gesturing toward the menagerie of delegates.

While Steven and Sara debated over what course of action to take, Katarina was trying not to openly gawp at them. She had met many creatures on her travels but these delegates were among the strangest.

After a brief and tense debate, they decided to release the delegates in the hope that they could warn the solar system of the impending attack, trusting they had come to accept the true treachery of the Daleks. They followed them outside, the change in the air immediate, as though they had run into thick mud. They watched them all depart in their ships, the last defence between the galaxies and the Daleks.

Then, a burst of fire in the sky and a boom that blew back all the leaves. They managed not to fall down despite the force of the blast and they watched as debris rained down. One of the ships had been obliterated.

“That was Guardian Mavic’s ship… Come on, we must find the Doctor so we can find a way to warn the Earth!” Sara was about to take off in a run but Steven stopped her.

“Come on, it was this way we came.” he pointed in the opposite direction. The leafy trees looked identical but over where he pointed she could see where the bushes had been trampled slightly.

They started to run, retracing their steps through the foliage. She began to pray once again, that it would turn in their favour.

But of course, the Gods must have been tiring of all her prayers, for they did not find the Doctor, but a lone Dalek. They hid in the bushes and observed it, watching it disappear into the ground.

“There’s a bunker!” Steven said and they all knew that they would find the Doctor in there.

She gently placed her fingers and on her wrist and felt the steady thump of heart. Soon it would cease, that heart of hers that had beat for far longer than it should have. Her fate lay far below the trees and the soil and it was calling her.

She took in a deep breath, the scent of the plants and trees so fresh and so full of life. She took it all in one last time, the wide sky above and the heat on her skin, the beauty of it all. Everything had led to this moment, to this last descent.

‘Give me strength, let me be guided to my fate’ she sent up that last prayer and she felt utterly still, ready to help the heroes in whatever way they needed her to.

They began to plan on how they would navigate the Daleks bunker when a shadow crept up on them from behind.

They turned to find Guardian Mavic pointing a gun at them.

…

She should have known that it would never have ended any other way. The visions of trees turning to dust and barren plains she had had night after night would soon come to pass. So many different worlds laid to waste, no ruins, only dust.

They had been guided to this end, the steady force of fate ensuring that all would be balanced in the eyes of the Gods. After learning about scientific concepts like gravity, she simply thought of it as another force that governed the universe, that kept it balanced. Though, she wondered, what balance would the Daleks bring? That she could not understand. What would the Daleks even have left to rule over?

Even Guardian Mavic had been swept up in fates tide, for all his proclamations of power and immortality. No mere mortal had ever risen above it, he was a being of the universe like them all, subject to its forces, and there had been no escape from that. He was truly dead, betrayed and killed by the Daleks.

She, Sara, and Steven awaited death in the Dalek bunker. There was quite literally no way for them to escape their fates. Sara’s gun had been seized, but even if it had not been, they were trapped in the most perfect prison.

Every surface was made of what appeared to be concrete, though she could not be certain. Whatever it was made of, the starkness of the chamber made her feel as though were already entombed.

Now that her death was so near, she felt almost impatient. It had long since ceased to scare her and as she leaned against the wall, waiting, she felt no grief over her own death, only grief for all the death that the Daleks would bring to the worlds they conquered.

Perhaps it was to be one last punishment, perhaps for some reason she would never understand. Yet, she still prayed because faith was supposed to be hard and she was not one to abandon it even when the Gods had turned their wrath on them.

If only she could have said a proper goodbye to the Doctor. But she had never even said a proper goodbye to her family, to Eirene. That was life, fate never waited for anyone to be ready.

She looked over at Steven and Sara, still so angry and still so ready to fight and her heart broke. How tiring it must have been to rage against the universe itself. Once she would have thought them as fools, but now she found that she admired their refusal to give in, no matter how foolish. But there was one thing that she could do.

“I just want to say… I am glad to have known you both.” she smiled at them both, these two wonderful people who had shown her that the universe was so much larger than she ever could have dreamed. How blessed she was to have met them.

“That sounds rather like a goodbye.” Steven said softly, a note of disapproval lay under it.

“I have to say it, before they kill us.” she said and she felt relieved now that she had said it and it felt as though she had cut one more tether from the mortal realm.

“Katarina, we keep telling you, you’re not going to die. None of us will let that happen, I promise.” he sounded like the parents she had heard desperately trying to comfort their children as Troy fell and she felt sorry for him. But still he kept trying.

“Sara, you don’t believe-“ he turned towards her but paused when he saw her shaking her head.

“Steven, there’s no way out of here,” she said quietly, shoulders slumping. “Even if we managed to escape, the place is swarming with Daleks and I’m defenceless,”

“You can’t both be serious?” he said, angrily. But he had no right to admonish them and she suddenly felt angry. He thought that they were weak for not trying to free themselves. But they were the ones who could see the situation clearly, accepting what couldn’t be changed. Steven seemed determined to drive himself to madness trying to defy fate and thought that they should too, as though that was a more noble way to meet ones end.

“I never was going to survive. I was not punished along with the rest of my city. These past few months have only being delaying the inevitable.” she saw the look on his face, “Don’t be sad. Please. There was nothing you could have done to prevent it.”

He no longer looked angry, but horrified. If the atmosphere had not been so sombre his naivety would have been funny.

“It’s only fair that I go out this way,” Sara said, she looked so weary, her Space Security uniform rumpled and stained, her eyes dull.

“None of us did anything to deserve this fate we were given, it’s simply what has been decided. All we could do was to face them as bravely as possible, which we did.” she reached over and squeezed Sara’s arm.

“That’s very reassuring, thank you Katarina.” Sara said flatly, pushing her away. She looked down at the ground, heat rushing to her cheeks. It never was easy to discuss fate with them.

“You two,” Steven sighed and rubbed his hands down his face but when he looked up, there was no sign of any weariness. He stared them both down and began to speak. “We are not defeated yet. We are not going to let them win. And none of us are going to die.”

“But…” she tried to say but Steven continued, his entire body alight with his own conviction. Somehow his arrogance remained as strong as ever, even in their tomb.

“We have a choice. We always have a choice on whether or not to give in. There’s a way out of here, we just need to find it.” he sighed, almost disappointed in their acceptance.

“Steven be realistic.” Sara snapped, standing over and striding over to him “We’re imprisoned in the heart of the dalek bunker, thousands of daleks surrounding us right now. We step out there and we’re dead in an instant.” She stood there, breathing heavily.

“I’m tired Steven. Haven’t we done everything we could? I just want this all to be over.” It was disconcerting, seeing her look so small. As she said it, something seemed to fade and she bowed her head, that weariness that had hounded her these months finally overcoming her.

He took her hand and the gesture made her look up. She didn’t try to move it away. All she was doing was waiting.

“No, it’s not.” he shook his head, “Sara…” the quiet that followed was strangely calm.

“You don’t. You can’t go back and erase what you’ve done, no. All you can do is move forward, do better. You’ve ran right into danger to save people you didn’t even know, you stood up against the most evil creatures in the galaxy. I think Bret would be proud of you.” he paused “And I, well, I think you’re pretty great Sara Kingdom.” His face went slightly red, perhaps realising he’d overstepped whatever boundaries they had set between themselves.

Silence. Then, she wrapped her fingers around his and nodded.

“And this isn’t what you deserve either Katarina.” he said, looking over at her, hand still entwined with Saras.

“Your fate isn’t to die here. It never was. No, you’re going to come with us and you’re going to see the universe. You both are.” Though words were still blasphemous, the arrogance had gone. For him it had never been about defiance or about being a hero, she realised. He had railed against fate because he cared about them.

When she reflected it on what he had said, on all those lucky escapes they had had on their journey… maybe that hadn’t just been luck. Maybe the Gods did mean for them to succeed, for her to live.

“There’s an after…” Sara said it as though just realising it for herself “Maybe…”

“There’s an after. We’re going to defeat the Daleks and then we’re going to see the rest of the universe with the Doctor. There’s so many incredible things we’ll have to show you two, these past six months, we’ve barely seen anything!” Steven said it with an utter conviction that made her want to believe that she had a future journeying through the stars, encountering creatures and places that seemed too absurd even for her dreams.

She exchanged a glance with Sara and she was so scared to even let herself want but seeing Sara look unsure reminded her that she would not be alone in seizing it.

She had been given a life that she never thought she would get to live, met the most remarkable people. Maybe… just maybe she had escaped the punishment that had befallen her city for a reason. Maybe she could live and honour her cities memory, carrying it with her throughout the stars. Maybe…

The universe had revealed itself to her on that last, terrible day in Troy but only now was she seeing it. All those possibilities, all those paths. Everything she could do, everything she could be. It was all in reach. And against everything she had ever been taught, she wanted it.

“How do we escape?” the confidence she said it with still felt so jarring but it no longer felt so wrong.

There was a silence once again as they tried to think of a way out. They moved with a renewed energy, pacing the room restlessly.

“I think I know how.” said Sara after several moments. “Though it’s very risky.”

“It’s all we have.” Steven said with a small shrug.

“Let us hope the Gods are protecting us.” she said, sending up a quiet prayer for good measure.

Sara told them her basic plan and they built around it as quickly as they could, all of them aware that the Daleks could return at any minute. They had a plan that would only get them to the other side of that door and there was much that could go wrong. It would have to do.

Steven and Sara positioned themselves on either side of the door, bodies taut, poised for action.

Katarina stood in front of the door, fists balled. She could face down the evil ones. She had done all manner of terrifying things, had faced down death over and over these past months. This single Dalek coming in through the door was insignificant in the face of all that..

“Daleks?” her voice was scratchy, not loud enough. She swallowed, determined not to let her friends down.

“Daleks!” she put more force into it and it sounded almost steady. “We will tell you where the terranium is!”

Outside she heard the faint whir of a Dalek approaching. She kept her gaze on the door, pretending that Steven and Sara were not there.

Her pulse raced in her ear and for a few moments the world was suspended. Then, the door slid open and the Dalek advanced toward her, she was not afraid-

Sara and Steven leaped out, Steven throwing his jacket over the Daleks eyestalk She jumped out of the way as they shoved it away, Steven grabbed her arm, almost pulling her out of the chamber.

They burst out onto the corridor and the door shut behind them. They were out.

“Come on, we need to go to the central control room, we don’t have much of a head start.”

The hasty plan they had come up with was in motion, with their escape having succeeded. Now was the most difficult part: getting into the control room and destroying the time destructor itself. It was almost funny how fiercely they had guarded the terranium for so long yet now it all hinged on destroying the machine.

“Are we ready?” Steven asked when they came to a halt outside a non-descript looking door. But he hadn’t needed to ask. She and Sara knew duty, knew sacrifice. Even though she now had a tentative belief in a life beyond the next few moments, she was aware of the nature of the task.

Before they could activate the door, it slid open and there stood the Doctor, time destructor in hand.

…

He might not have been a God but he was certainly blessed by them, for there he stood, unharmed. In his hands lay the machine that contained the power of the Gods, replicated by mortal beings.

“Doctor!” they all said, their exhaustion and terror momentarily forgotten.

“Yes, yes, I’m quite all right.” he said, dismissing their concerns. Before any of them could speak, he looked at Steven and said “When I tell you, I want you to take Sara and Katarina to the TARDIS,” he pressed the TARDIS key into his hands.

Steven and Sara began to protest but she just nodded, ready to follow his order.

“I’m going to activate the Time Destructor,” he said, which silenced Sara and Steven.

“My dreams…” she murmured. The dusty plains and leaves curling in on themselves. That had not been the Daleks victory but the Doctors. The Gods had been with them all along! Their arrogance and their own lust for destruction would be their downfall and she found it a poetic ending.

Right before her lay the future, shifting and uncertain, terrifying and wonderful in equal measure.

She found that she believed it all. They would see him back at the TARDIS and then… well, it still slightly unsettled her to think about. But she knew that she would not be alone in whatever came next.

The Daleks came into the room but the Doctor did not look afraid.

Steven was able to grab one of the Daleks and used it as a shield, the Daleks unwilling to shoot one of their own. They backed out of the room slowly and pushed the Dalek back through before the door sealed.

They watched the door anxiously while Doctor did something to the Time Destructor. Quite suddenly, a whining noise filled the room, reverberating off the walls. She clamped her hands over her ears though the other three stood unaffected. She looked over to the Doctor and saw that the time destructor was the source of the noise. It pulsed strangely and it was then she realised that he had activated it.

Nobody moved but the Doctor was quick to act.

“Go on you three! I’ll catch up with you all!” he glared at them and they reluctantly backed away and turned to leave, breaking into a run as they made their way back through the corridors.

“We can’t just leave him!” Sara said when they reached the bunker entrance, looking back to where they had left the Doctor.

“But we must, he said we must get back to the TARDIS,” she grabbed Sara’s arm, trying to get her to come with her.

“But if he’s incapacitated, they’ll take it from him, we can’t risk that!” she said, ready to run back to him.

“Look, we have to trust that he knows what he’s doing, now come on!” Steven said, turning to go outside, ending the debate.

They ascended out of the dank, grey bunker and out into the jungle. The loud whining noise of the time destructor followed them, drowning out the noise of the animals in the undergrowth. Already the leaves on the trees looked just a little more withered and the greenery dulled.

The three of them ran, leaves and branches snapping underfoot. Around her the forest decayed, seasons passing in seconds in the change of leaves on the trees. She had thought that the burning of Troy was the end of the world but it was nothing compared to the complete devastation unfolding around her.

They ran, ran, ran, that noise ringing in their ears. Soon there were no leaves at all, just the bare trunks, stark against the exposed too-bright sky.

Yet despite the withering and the emptiness of the land, she only saw life. Her vision was coming to pass but it had not been one of doom, but of salvation. Life would continue, the Daleks defeated and there was a place for her in it. Her legs ran so hard that it felt as though with every step she might launch into the air in flight. Her heart lifted, not only from the desperate race but the life that she knew lay beyond this day.

She then felt something prick on her skin. She held her hand out and if she had had the breath to, she would have gasped. The skin on her hand looked drier, more taut. The brush of death against her skin. Still she ran, trying to outrun deaths grasp. Part of her still thought it was folly but something about the sight of Steven running ahead her spurned her on. If her friends believed they could survive, she could trust in them.

Dust blew into her face, it rattled in her chest, she stumbled forward, the world shrouded in fine brown haze. Already she felt exhausted and her hands looked older still, like her Mama’s hands.

Would they reach the TARDIS before it was too late? But before the despair could truly take hold she saw a familiar shape through the gloom.

The TARDIS stood, a monument amidst the decay. Around it only stumps remained, the once proud and looming trees utterly diminished.

Steven took out the key and she saw his skin was as taut and wrinkled as hers. He opened the door and they stumbled inside.

They had made it back to the TARDIS. She felt her skin shifting and looked down to see her hands smooth once again. She looked at Steven but he stared at the doors and for the first time since she had known him he looked truly panicked.

“Where’s Sara?”

She turned around, after having not looked, after having run so determinedly forward. Sara wasn’t there.

“She was behind me…” she looked behind her, the missing presence like a wound in the air.

“We have to-“ he went towards the door but she grabbed at his arm before he could open it.

“We cannot.” she said, gripping his sleeve tightly, “All we can do is wait. Sara’s a warrior, she’ll make it back, I know it.” She tried speaking with the determination that came so easily to Steven but her voice sounded weak.

She started to pray, mumbling every plea she could think of but the doors remained shut.

“Katarina. Katarina, look!” she faltered in her prayers and turned. Steven was staring in horror at the scanner.

“Is that Sara?” she hoped it wasn’t, it couldn’t be because the person on the scanner was an old woman, her face lined with wrinkles, her hair white… But the uniform. The woman wore her uniform.

“It is. She’s being aged. The time destructor is forcing her body to age faster than it should,” he said, voice dull.

She clung to Steven’s side and they watched, helpless as the time destructor wreaked havoc on Saras body, as it stole away the years she should have lived, the life she should have had. She fell down but still she crawled, dragging herself through the dust of the forest but Katarina knew it was far too late.

Another figure came into view. The Doctor, still recognisable, though his footsteps were slow and heavy. He fell beside Sara.

She wanted to bury herself in Steven’s jacket and look away from the awful sight. But she owed it to her friend to witness her final moments. So she watched.

“Come on, we have to get them in here!” Steven eventually stirred and she followed, for they could not leave their bodies there.

The heavy heat had lifted, and nothing remained, not even a stray bush or a fallen trunk. The only noise was the howling wind and the now fainter whining of the time destructor.

They raced over to Sara first though they both knew they were far too late. As Steven reached out for her, her body collapsed into dust and blew away on the wind. Like that, she was gone.

The Doctor lay just a bit behind her and when they approached he stirred, somehow still alive. Steven took the time destructor and managed to turn it off. The endless, barren land fell silent.

Further out she saw something twitch in the sand, it reminded her of the squid she’d see sprawled out at the fish stall at market. She tapped Steven and pointed.

“I think those are the Daleks…” he said, his voice low, cracking on the last words.

“Steven, Katarina,” they turned to see the Doctor walking towards them “Where’s Sara?”

Steven nodded to where her empty navy uniform lay stark against the barren ground. The Doctor said nothing and went over to it.

They followed in his wake. She felt her pulse as she walked, its thump telling her that she was alive. Its strong and steady rhythm mocked her. How could she have been so arrogant as to think the Gods had spared her the fate of her city? She was alive when she wasn’t supposed to be and Sara had paid the price. She had avoided her fate but Sara had to fulfil it.

“I wish Sara could have seen the end,” Steven sounded weary, like the time destructor had aged his soul.

“So do I,” the Doctor said, his usual bravado gone.

“But she lived to see their destruction. We could not have done this without her,” already he had turned away from her uniform. Instead he went over and picked up one of the aged Daleks.

“This is all that is left of millions of years of progress, of the Daleks,” he held it up and chuckled, the sound at odds with the silent, desolate landscape.

“Let’s go,” Steven said, his voice hard.

“We rid this planet of Daleks!” he said, his voice full of a triumph that neither she or Steven felt.

“Bret! Sara!” Steven whispered and the Doctor looked at him, his face suddenly sombre. He stared at the dust that had once been Sara.

“We have to give her funeral rites.” she said quietly. “To make sure she traverses the beyond safely.” she knelt beside the remains.

She began the rites, the same ones spoken for her siblings who had died too young, the dead soldiers carted back into the city. There was no body to minister to, just a dusty outline and a uniform but she tended to it with care, knowing that the dust had once been all that had made up her friend.

She hoped that she would find some peace in the afterlife, find that place of perfection promised to every being. She stood up and nodded a farewell. The Doctor and Steven kept their heads bowed, looking down at what remained of Sara.

The ritual completed, the land fell silent once again. That deep silence must have blanketed Troy after the battle had ended, the victorious soldiers gone home and the women shipped across the sea. Only ruins and remains showing that it had not always been so silent. There, and here on Kembel, some unspeakable destruction marked the land in the silence, in the ashes and dust that buried what once was. She thought of her desolate city across the stars, of all the life she had seen laid to waste in the past few months.

She began to cry, the sobs seizing her body. Finally she contended with her sorrow that she had pushed away for so long. It had been easy to do so when she thought she would not have to live with this grief. The sorrow grew root and it choked everything vital, there had never been anything but ruin awaiting her, it was all that there was in the world. A hand on her shoulder brought her back to the world. She looked and saw Steven, his face tightly drawn as though even the slightest movement would break him.

“The waste, the terrible waste,” the Doctors triumphant tone was gone, replaced with a quiet disgust.

The trio went back to the TARDIS, leaving Sara to rest among the dust.

Chapter Text

She couldn’t believe it was her in the mirror, that girl in the new dress. She felt her heartbeat, still there, still beating steadily. Here, alive, lost. Her handmaidens uniform lay cast off to the side, another piece of her old life gone. Maybe the last piece.

She was alive when she should not have been and now she had to move forward. The new dress she’d chosen was not so bad. It was light blue, airy and loose with long sleeves, the hem resting just below her knees. But putting it on had been hard because she knew that in doing so meant there was no return. Troy, the girl she had been, they were all gone.

She had felt like a young girl again seeing her mother sob when Eulalia had died, that first wail cutting through the foundations of her very world. It felt as though what she had witnessed went against the order of the world, because mama had never cried before. In the TARDIS, she felt that same wrongness just standing there and feeling herself breathe when she should not have.

The silence had only been broken when the Doctor had suggested to her that she go and pick new clothing for herself. It was then it hit her how far away from everything she had known. It had been easier to bear when she did not think she would have to live with it for very long.

She sat down on the soft, round stool beside the mirror and hugged her old dress to her chest but it no longer smelled like home. She began to cry, softly at first, but she was soon sobbing into the fabric, her body heaving with the grief she carried. It felt much too big for one person, for her.

“Katarina?” she looked up from the sodden dress to find the Doctor standing there. She wiped her eyes and stood up.

“Doctor, I chose a new dress.” she gestured weakly at it but he frowned.

“Katarina…” he paused, searching for right words, “Sometimes on our travels we encounter the most awful things and witness the most awful events, you do not have to pretend what happened has left you unaffected.”

Tears once again began streaming down her face. She thought of Sara, of her family, of Eirene, of Troy, and she covered her face and then there were no more coherent thoughts, there was only loss consuming her because that was all that was left of her life, all that was left of her.

She felt an arm around her and found the Doctor standing beside her. His comfort felt strange, that someone like him should deign to comfort someone like her.

“It’s all right my dear, you have been through a great deal in these past few months.” he patted her shoulder gently. Her breathing evened and words began returning, words that demanded to be spoken.

“I never had to think about Troy,” she said slowly, putting words to some of that enormous grief “I devoted all my energy to our quest because that is what I thought I was here for. But if I am still here then-“ her words choked off as another sob worked its way up. She could not think about Troy, she could not keep an entire city and its memory within herself.

“You have lost your city, I could not even begin to imagine such a loss,” he looked at her with such sadness “It is quite understandable that you are feeling lost and despairing but know that Steven and I will be here for you as you come to terms with it.”

She ducked her head, unable to look at him, so ashamed she was of her cowardice.

“I am the reason Sara is dead, hers is not even the only life I have taken, and yet you comfort me and treat me like…” she shook her head and looked up. She had to stare him in the face as she said it, “Fate took her in my stead, I swear I never meant for it to happen! If I had looked back I could have-”

“My dear Sara’s death was in no way your fault!” he looked horrified that she had even believed that.

“But-“ she began but he shushed her.

“Look at it this way, if you will. We have nearly died several times in these past few months, if fate had intended you to die, I believe you would have already, hm?” he said.

“Steven said that…” she murmured. Maybe she was no longer fated to die but there had been a cost. How they did not hate for it she could not understand. But he smiled at her with such kindness that it was almost painful.

“And he was right, my dear. He can be on occasion.” he chuckled to himself.

“That’s high praise indeed.” Steven walked out from behind one of the racks “I’d been wondering where you’d gotten to Doctor.” he looked at Katarina in her new dress "That's very nice, Katarina."

His heart was not in the words, not like they would have been before. When a person died, she had learned that they often took pieces of their loved ones with her and she wondered just how much Sara had taken of Steven when she had crumbled. He sat himself down on a pile clothing by the mirror, and he looked so achingly weary.

“I still can’t believe she’s dead.” he said quietly and she felt another sense of loss hearing that the bravado had gone from his voice. Even when people survive, they still lost something with that dead person. Briefly, she imagined the underworld filled with not only souls but dreams and fragments of the living, things that could never come back.

“I miss her, too, my boy.” the Doctor said quietly. Then they lapsed into silence and it somehow did not feel as heavy now that they had named their loss out loud.

They sat there for a long time. At first in silence, the burden of their separate griefs lifted by their nearness to each other. Then, slowly, they began to talk and cry, as they remembered her. It felt good to speak about her, to tell those stories about her, for it meant that she would not truly be dead. Her presence would be in their thoughts, lingering with them from the beyond.

“Now, well now, we can only begin to go forward.” The Doctor said firmly “It may take a while, but if there is one thing I know is that time moves on, eventually.”

There was still so much loss within her, it had become something that was as much a part of her as her blood, her breath. She could still not imagine one day being able to be at ease with it, but his words felt like a flame in the dark. Though she was still swallowed by darkness, there now existed a bright point.

“I know, I know…” Steven said.

“It will take time, I understand, my boy.” The Doctor said to him softly. Times like these were when the foundations of relationships were revealed, all pretences cast aside. She felt so lost, so weighted down, but she was with people she knew she could trust with her life and her grief.

“But what do we do next? Our quest has succeeded…” she said, fiddling with her sleeve.

“Next? My dear, we can do anything next!” he said, looking utterly delighted, “You know, I think a trip is in order!” for the first time since leaving Kembel some of his spark seemed to return.

Steven looked a bit cheerier at the prospect of new planets and places. For the first time since Sara’s death he smiled at her.

“Trust me Katarina, it’ll be amazing. There’s good stuff out there, too.” he said softly, and though the bravado had gone, something new had tentatively begun to replace it.

“I would like to see it. The universe.” she still felt guilty saying it, as though she was allowed to experience anything good but something had shifted. She was still here, and that had to mean something.

“Excellent! I cannot wait to show it to you!” the Doctor said with a gleeful chuckle. He left then, to chart the course to their next destination. They were moving forward. Steven checked that she was all right and left her there amidst the clothing.

She faced herself in the mirror again. There she was, even if she did not feel quite like herself, even if she was far out of the world she had been born into. But it was her, still alive, her heart beating steadily beneath her fingers. Maybe the Doctor was right and she had never been destined to die, but she had no idea what fate intended for her. There was no clear path forward, only that tiny, fragile flame in an endless night.

She would do what she done these past months, what she had promised her Mama. She would be brave and face whatever fate awaited her.

Chapter Text

In the depths of space, on a ship sailing through the stars, Katarina sat on a bench. Though she could feel the weight of her body, the beat of her heart, she felt strangely light. She had become unmoored from the world, from the path that all beings walked. Once she had tread it easily, the road straightforward and smooth. But now she found herself out in the beyond, the ground rocky and uneven, watching those who still walked with such ease.

The place she had found herself in was magnificent. White pillars soared to the ceiling, and plants and little water ponds lined the walkways. It was grander than the palace in Troy. But the most astonishing thing was that she was not even in a building, but an enormous ship, one even bigger than the TARDIS. Only the quiet hum beneath her feet, that of the engine, reminded her of that fact.

The massive echoing chambers were nearly deserted, with only a few people and the occasional wheeled vehicles driven by Monoids. The noise of their footsteps off the floor was harsh and loud with no steady stream of chatter to soften it.

It occurred to her that Troy was silent now, her people gone, the silence of the ruins a hole in the world, an absence of what once was. She looked around, desperately hoping that the Doctor or Steven would find her soon.

She was so very far from the Gods.

“Tiwad, Runtiya, hear my prayers, please.” she pleaded.

But it was not just the far-too empty chambers. No, her unease went deeper than that.
…

They had stepped out into a forest. It was not like the dense, humid forest on Kembel. The air was lighter, the temperature just comfortably warm. But they had all quickly realised there was something not quite right about the forest they had landed in.

For one there was a faint vibration. Not an earthquake, it was too steady, not the violent, juddering tremors her parents had described whenever they talked about the great earthquake from when they were children. She frowned and looked around, the forest itself looked normal. But then she looked up and saw that there was no sky at all, but a vast expanse of metal. A ceiling.

“Doctor…” she pointed up to it. They looked up, and as soon as he glimpsed the metal expanse, the Doctor gasped in delight.

“It appears we are in a nature reserve of some sort!” The Doctor said as he inspected the trees more closely, “One for wildlife from Earth judging by the foliage!”

“A…”

She could not comprehend it. The forest stretched out all around them yet it was contained within a chamber. It was so real. She reached out and felt the nearest tree, the bark was rough under her skin, the familiar sensation in such an alien place sending a chill through her body.

“A nature preserve is somewhere where…” Steven paused, searching for the words to explain something he had never had to before “It’s somewhere where wildlife can be allowed to grow and flourish in a protected space created by us so they can be protected from, well, us. We had many on Earth because of the climate catastrophes of the 21st century, we were only just beginning to recover and the nature preserves meant we could grow plants and house animals that couldn’t be found in the wild anymore.”

“Climate catastrophes?” Though she knew the two words, together they made no sense, but they gave her a sense of foreboding.

Steven explained it to her, of the arrogance of humanity slowly killing the earth, of the cruelties and carelessness that had led to such disasters. She could not imagine nature as something that could be conquered. Outside of Troy nature had lain beyond the walls, a force as unknowable and uncontrollable as the Gods themselves.

“Humans should not even have that power.” A chill went through her, her awe lessened at the thought of humanity having the power of the Gods and the destruction they could cause with such power. It went against everything that was natural and yet she could help but stand in awe of the forest cultivated entirely by humans.

“Come along you two, we still don’t know where we are.” The Doctor was already setting off and she pushed after them through the bushes, leaves tickling her face. At one point her hand brushed off a tree but instead of the rough bumps of wood she felt the smooth and cold touch of metal beneath her fingers. Neither Steven or the Doctor had an explanation for it.

“Look, over there!” Steven had stopped at a bush and pointed. Up ahead was a clearing with the most peculiar creature. It was an enormous thing with leathery looking grey skin and a long, thin appendage on its face. It looked familiar but she couldn’t quite remember what it was.

“My goodness, an elephant!” he stared wide eyed and she then remembered it from one of the many books she had been studying over the past few months. It looked so much more majestic than that photograph had, standing tall amongst the trees.

Steven tentatively approached it and she followed, wanting to see this creature up close. The strangest thing of all was that this was no alien, but something that lived on earth.
She placed her hand on its appendage, the trunk, she remembered, and it felt rough but not in a harsh way. It bowed its head slightly, appreciative of the attention.

For the first time since Kembel, something like wonder unfurled within her and for just a few moments there was something other than grief. So much destruction and people with powers they should not have. But then there was this wondrous creature with gentle eyes and it took her breath away when she imagined what else could possibly exist out there.

…

She became aware of a presence near her and looked up to find one of the servants, a creature called a Monoid, staring down at her. They reminded her of a hairy cyclops, their brown fur smooth and soft-looking. She was not sure of the Monoids gender. Steven and Sara had told her to use ‘they’ if she was unsure and it made the most sense for the Monoid standing before her.

“Miss, are you well?” they signed. She jolted when she realised she understood their hand signals. If she could understand them they must have enough signs for it to count as a full language.

“Yes, thank you.” She mustn’t have sounded very convincing because the Monoid did not leave.

“You are one of the time travellers who arrived today, yes?” They leaned forward slightly, as though curious.

“Yes, that’s right.” she nodded, before wincing “My name is Katarina, do you have one?” She hoped that she did not sound too rude.

“Garch.” they signed back. An unusual name, she thought, but it was no more unusual than the name Steven was.

“Do you find it strange living on a ship? It’s remarkable, this ship, but do you miss feeling fresh air on your… fur?” she asked. They backed away slightly and she blushed “I apologise if my questioning makes you uncomfortable…” She thought of Vicki and her eager questions about life in Troy and there she was being just as impertinent.

“No, no, I am just unused to it. About the ship… I have become accustomed to it, though I miss the natural waterfalls on our home world.” Their signs were slow and fluid, the wistfulness evident.
“Your home,” she frowned, pausing as she was unsure how to ask them. But she asked it in the only way she could, “Is it gone?”

They simply nodded and she almost reached out, stopping herself as she did not want to make them uncomfortable.

“I am sorry, it is a painful thing to lose your home and only carry the memory of it.” When she said it, they nodded slowly, sadly. They were united in this burden, of having to live on after their own home was gone.

“Yes, it has been many years but some days I ache for it.” they whispered, putting a hand to their chest area, “But I carry it with me, that I remember the stories and traditions, the way the plains looked when the sun rose. It was beautiful.” It would only ever be an echo, tiny pieces of a once magnificent whole. But they did not seem too sad, as though the pieces were enough.

“You’re brave for moving forward, for believing that…” she frowned, searching for the words “... that there is a place out there for you in the universe.”

They lifted their hands to respond but were interrupted by a woman who stalked over. Katarina sprang up from the bench, heart pounding. She stood to attention, waiting for the reprimand.
“You, quit idling around!” the haughty woman glared at Garch. She clucked her tongue and sighed, “It clearly has forgotten its place.” The woman stepped forward and tilted her head up towards them, somehow managing to give the impression she was looking down at them.

“Please, it was my fault, I got lost-“ she made her voice as soft and her body as small as possible but she was ignored.

The woman took something out of her pocket, a flat piece of glowing metal. She pressed her finger down on a corner of the glowing area several times in quick succession and then looked up at Garch.

They stumbled back, their left arm reaching for the collar around their neck, their entire body shaking. Katarina covered her mouth, utterly frozen while the woman watched with a trace of a smirk. When they stopped shaking, the woman nodded.

“I do apologise for that, I hope it doesn’t leave you with a bad impression of our ship, they’re normally so respectful.” Before Katarina could answer, the woman smiled and walked away.

“Are you alright? What happened?” she held their arm as they heaved from the pain. Nothing had struck them and yet they were in agony.

As she waited for them to recover the world reoriented itself. Two people walked by and one looked and turned as though to come and offer help but their companion nudged them and they glanced away, hurrying along as though sword-wielding soldiers were on their tail. Something was very wrong on this ship.

“She… she shocked me. It was to be expected.” Their signs were sloppy, giving the impression of speaking with a slurred voice.

“Shocked?” they did not look very surprised at their punishment.

“Electric shocks.” they signed and she gasped for the dangers of live electricity had been imposed on her by the others. To subject another being to being shocked was reprehensible.
“That’s awful! Where I came from there were punishments but they were never…” Katarina did not know what to say.

They looked up and she followed their gaze towards the two uniformed men approaching. They said nothing to her, just grabbed their arms and turned them, marching them away.
She stood, frozen, heart hammering. She knew she would wait there until she was found, but her heart wasn’t just hammering in fear for herself, but for Garch, too. Taking a deep breath, she began to follow them.

If she explained to them that it was her fault and Garch had only tried to be kind to her, surely they would be spared any further punishment. She was familiar with punishment but even Cassandra, a notoriously harsh mistress had never been that cruel.

As she followed them, she found herself remembering her encounter with the leaders earlier that day.

…

They had been approached by guards though they seemed to merely accompany them rather than apprehend them, letting them walk freely, limbs unbound. It turned out that they had landed on a ship carrying humans to a new home planet after the destruction of the Earth (She decided not to dwell on that).

It was no mere ship, however. It was the size of multiple cities and contained human refugees fleeing the earth’s destruction in what they called the fifty-seventh segment of time. Her home and the war that had destroyed the world she had known, belonged in the first segment of time, in a time the people of the ship could scarcely even imagine.

Though the ship carried many refugees, most of them were not awake. The ones that were would live and die on the ship, ensuring that the rest of the refugees, shrunken down and put into a deep sleep, would safely reach their destination.

They were brought to meet the leaders of the ship in a city some distance from the nature reserve. Thankfully however, interacting with the council helped clarify some of their dynamics. Though they claimed not to have monarchs, one man in particular struck her as being the King of the ship. He had stepped forward to greet them, seemingly not at all wary of the three strangers who had just appeared on the ship.

“We are the ones who have the honour of guiding humanity to their new home. We will never see it but our sacrifice will never be forgotten. I am the Head Guardian of the ship.” the curl of his lip and his ramrod posture spoke of superiority.

Their hosts seemed open enough to answering their questions and there was one in particular she simply had to have the answer to.
“How does this all keep afloat? The forest and everything, it's enormous.”

It went completely silent. The guardians stared at her incredulously. And then they all started to laugh.

She looked down at the ground, her cheeks aflame. She knew there was much she did not know but the Doctor and Steven had never made her feel any lesser for it. Steven gave her shoulder a squeeze.

“It was a reasonable question, you know.” Steven said and she gave him a brief smile, but she wished that he wasn’t pitying her so.

“Now, now,” the Doctor said “My friend is curious, there’s no shame in not knowing something. She’s, ah, not from this time.” He tutted at them.

“Really?” This remark came from a girl who had been standing beside the Head Guardian Katarina had noticed that she hadn’t really laughed at her, “When do you come from?”
“Now Mellium…” the Head Guardian tried to sound chastising but his voice was soft.

“Never thought I’d meet actual time travellers! Sorry, just very exciting.” the girl, Mellium, was staring at them wide-eyed. Despite her stare, Katarina did not feel scrutinised and she returned her smile.

“Please excuse my daughter there, you all must be hungry, we can serve up refreshments.” The Head Guardian said with a tone of forced pleasantness. He looked around and clicked his fingers, the impatience in the action so familiar even in this far flung time.

A creature walked into the room, summoned by the clicks. She gaped at its presence. It was tall and covered in brown fur. There was no visible mouth, just one large eye in the centre of its face. Katarina immediately knew what it was.

“A cyclops…” she stared, mouth agape. Her uncle had sworn he had encountered one on a voyage on the merchant vessel he worked on and mama had rolled her eyes but here was one standing in front of her. Had her uncle encountered an alien?

“Ah, you have never seen a Monoid before?” he raised an eyebrow at her ignorance, “They are a race we encountered and they have agreed to act as our servants on this journey in return for space on The Ark, they, too are making a sacrifice.” This was addressed to the Doctor and Steven and sounded less condescending.

“Were some of them also put into suspended animation?’ Steven asked, giving the Head Guardian a scrutinising look.

“Well, no, they were all more than happy to simply serve, we didn’t have enough room-“ he said, but the Doctor cut him off.

“Was that the case now? I wonder.” the Doctor raised his eyebrow, clearly sceptical of his claim.

“Well, it’s for our survival, if this ship does not run smoothly we’re all as good as dead.” his expression was tense but he smiled once again, though something was off about it, “Please, you are our guests! You will get nothing but the very best treatment here!” he clapped his hands “We must show you the ship!” it was clear the subject would not be discussed further.

“Ah yes, I would love to see the computer systems.” the Doctor said, though his voice lacked his normal enthusiasm. “These engines must be enormously powerful to keep such an enormous ship running! You know, I’m something of an expert myself…” and soon he was speaking about engines in words she could not understand, but it was clearly impressive for he was quickly invited to tour the room where the systems were kept.

“Very well, Steven and Katarina can take the tour then.” he said.

“In that case, Mellium will give your two friends a tour of most important parts of the ship while you and I discuss Refusius.” the Head Guardian nodded, gesturing to her.

“Well yes, I am happy to provide the knowledge I have,” the Doctor turned to them, “You two enjoy the tour of this ship with this nice young woman, hm. We will meet back here in a few hours.”

“I’ve never done this before so don’t be too harsh in your reviews!” she laughed nervously and clapped her hands together “But anyways, the tour! I know the Ark inside out since there’s nowhere else to go. It’s an alright place.”

Despite her professed inexperience, she made for a wonderful tour guide. The tour was an overwhelming parade of impossible sights and spectacles, but it took a particularly odd turn when they reached something called the miniaturisation chamber.

“What’s in there?” Katarina asked.

“The miniaturisation chamber, that’s where we keep all the miniaturised people in suspended animation for the duration of the journey. They’ll be woken up once we reach Refusius in seven hundred years.” she looked off at some unknown point, the spark that animated her quick jokes and sweeping gestures dimmed slightly.

“You mean you’ll never see Refusius?” Steven said.

“No, that’s the sacrifice we all have to make. We journey onwards in hopes of building a future we’ll never see.” she gazed in with a look of longing, but then she shook her head “I don’t mind it because I know it’ll all be worth it.”

“We all have to fulfil our duties, even if it has a cost.” In this strange place it was something she could understand. It reminded her of how she used to be, before she’d ended up on the TARDIS, when she thought she had understood her place in the Gods design.

“Yeah, exactly.” she turned and nodded at her before continuing to lead them around.

“You know, It’s like an Ark or something.” Steven said.

“Huh, like the Christian tale from the first segment of time? The Ark, it’s a good name. The official name is actually very stuffy, it’d take me way too long to say.” she raised her eyebrows conspiratorially.

Despite Mellium’s enthusiasm and the grandeur of the ship, she could not truly enjoy it. She longed for Troy, where she had known exactly what she was supposed to be.

…

The corridors had become narrower and shabbier, which put her at ease. This was the side of the world she was used to, unornamented and worn down. She tread as silently as she could for there were no other humans there and she did not want to be turned back before she could plead on Garch’s behalf.

They stopped before an unremarkable grey door and disappeared inside. It slammed with a metallic ‘clud’ sound, like a sword being dropped on the ground. She took a deep breath and walked up to it to knock.

“What are you doing here?” a guard was eyeing her warily.

“I-“ she made herself stand up straighter “I am here about Garch, a Monoid, I think I may have unwittingly gotten them into trouble-”

“Katarina!” There you are!” she looked up to see Mellium approaching along with a very relieved-looking Steven.

“Thank god, I was worried sick!” she said “I know there’s no danger but…”

“She’s yours then.” the guard glared at Mellium, who blushed furiously, “Try not to lose your charges down the service corridors in future.” With that she stalked away.

“Don’t mind her, the guards can be quite stern.” he laughed and shrugged “No harm done now that we’ve found you!”

“But there was a Monoid-”

“It’s best to leave it, trust me.” Mellium interrupted, her cheerful expression slipping briefly into an almost fearful look.

“But I got a Monoid into trouble and it was my fault, I do not wish them to be punished.” she said. Mellium stopped and frowned, sucking in her cheek as he considered her options.

“Look, I’ll say something to them, okay?” she stared at her and nodded, “Really, I promise.”

The tour continued without any further incident but the mask had slipped, like when an actor in a play forgot his line and the illusion couldn’t be conjured quite as strongly after the slip. The ship was no longer as wondrous as it had first appeared.

She could not understand why she was so unsettled by the incident with Garch. Of course, she was worried for them but it was nothing she had not seen before. It was simply the order of the world for servants to be treated in such a way, to be reprimanded for disobedience. She herself had endured similar punishments. Maybe none so harsh, but punishments were normal, it was the way of the world. That hadn't seemed to change even though it was so far in the future.

So she could not understand why the sound of the door closing behind Garch still echoed in her mind hours later.

…

The quarters they had been assigned for the duration of their stay were probably simple by the standards of the ship's inhabitants but to Katarina they were as luxurious and decadent as the fountain lined corridors.

Despite the comfortable set of rooms, the Doctor and Steven were ill at ease. The Doctor paced while Steven sat taut, not leaning back into the plush sofa. It was a welcome respite after the day she had had but she could not completely relax either.

“I thought we would have been past all that by now,” he shook his head in disappointment. “I mean the way they spoke about the Monoids. And the way Katarina saw that woman punish Garch!”

“Progress is never that simple my boy, there’s no straightforward path through history. Indeed, the definition of progress is often arbitrarily decided by those in power,” he grimaced, wagging his finger. “The humans of this time seem to believe that the enslavement of the Monoids is needed for progress but I think we all disagree with that!”

They nodded. She could not believe the leaders' claims that the Monoids offered themselves up willingly to be treated in such a way. She knew well enough that no one did work like that willingly. For her it had always been a matter of duty.

“Being a servant means you do not get a lot of respect... but what I have seen is just cruel.” she said softly. The nobles had not been that callous in Troy, not even at their worst.

“Yes my dear, I do not like it one bit! I think we had better search for this Garch, hm?” he said, "that's what we do my dear, when something doesn't feel quite right, we try to get to the bottom of it and intervene if necessary!"

“You know, I hope these rooms aren’t bugged.” Steven said and she looked around and found no insects but before she could tell him their room was free of insects, the Doctor spoke again.

“Yes, yes, well we had best start looking, come along.” the Doctor was already heading towards the door.

Katarina followed, feeling as though she was floating slightly, not quite in control of her own actions. It had happened frequently throughout the day, her body quietly telling her when all the strangeness became too much. But she could not let that stop her.

Chapter Text

When they got to the room Katarina had last seen Garch being dragged into, they found it was deserted. It was essentially a prison cell, with only a simple bench made out of an indeterminate material. They searched the room up and down but there was no trace of anyone having been in the room.

“Are you sure it was this room?” Steven asked, surveying the room with a puzzled expression.

She nodded “We entered the service corridors from where I had gotten lost earlier, this is the place, I am certain of it.”

For a moment, they stood there. She had no idea of what to do next. They would have to abandon the search. But the Doctor saw her expression.

“Now, now my dear, hope is not lost. I have an idea of some further paths we can take. I want to go and check something in their databases, a search through it might yield us some clues. You two can investigate the dormitories. If that is where they all live, then there might be useful information there. We will meet back out in that main corridor in an hour.” The Doctor said, breaking the silence. She and Steven nodded. Hopefully whatever hunch he had gotten would lead to a breakthrough soon.

“Right, shall we?” Steven asked and she nodded, the two heading off in the direction of the Monoid dormitories. Or at least what they thought was the direction of the dormitories.
It had not felt right, only the two of them setting off. Even though she had known Sara for mere months she had woven herself into all their lives, her death tearing a great, gaping hole in everything. They were still settling, waiting to see what form their lives would take without her.

“We’ll find them, you know.” Steven said. His unwavering certainty was comforting.

“You always seem so certain that everything will turn out for the best,” she looked at him and he seemed slightly surprised by her observation.

“It’s not certainty so much as doing things to get the best outcome. I’m always going to try and usually that’s enough to at least get on the path to a good outcome.”

“You seem undeterred by the inevitable course of fate we all must follow”

“You’re a real optimist.”

“That is simply how the universe works.” she raised an eyebrow. “But you have had your fair share of hardship from fate and yet you always believe the best will happen.” though she knew she sounded harsh she found herself enjoying it all slightly.

“I’d be pretty miserable if I didn’t. Well it’s hard sometimes, like when I’m imprisoned. Never really changes no matter where you go, small, dark room, maybe a bed and a bucket if you’re lucky.” He gave her a small smile. He understood perfectly.

“You sound well acquainted with prisons. How many times have you been in prison?”

“Erm… probably says it all that I can’t give you a number off the top of my head. It’s worrying how used to it I am, really.” he shrugged but there was a heaviness that weighed down the motion.

“Will we often be imprisoned on our travels?” she’d already been imprisoned a few times and it was not something she wanted to get used to.

“I’d like to say no, but I’d be lying.”

“Well, you seem pretty good at escapes.” she said softly and to her surprise she found that she almost wanted to laugh.

“Just one of the many things I’ve learned from the Doctor. He has his bits of wisdom.”

“I cannot imagine being so at ease with it as you are.” she shook her head slightly.

“I think there’s some parts of it you’ll never get used to.” he said softly.

They trailed off into silence and she could not help but feel as though he was right. Would she ever feel fully present in this strange world? Seeing the Monoids had made her realise how distant her life as a servant already felt to her. Had she really once toiled her days away, doing everything to avoid drawing the attention of Cassandra or the other nobles?

Some days it was not the chores that were most tiring but the constant awareness needed to ensure she went unnoticed. Even then it sometimes wasn’t enough. But it was all part of being a servant, that sort of treatment. No matter how much she had tried to fade away, sometimes she’d been punished anyway.

In a way she was relieved to be thinking about it because it was better than thinking about her survival of the events on Kembel. But the questions her mind would not stop asking were tiring.

They had arrived at the Monoid barracks. Once they had checked to ensure no one was watching them, they slipped inside. Beside each door was a list of names, indicating who slept where.

Row after row of dormitories, sparse and simple like the dormitories in Troy, yet there were no windows, no colour on the walls. The only feature on the walls they glimpsed through the open doors was a circle with three dots above it on the wall over some of the beds.

“This one.” Steven said, stopping after passing a seemingly endless row of dormitories.

She felt uncomfortable in the room, not because they were particularly horrible but because they felt so eerily familiar. The beds were raised but the layout was identical to the servant dormitory she had slept in.

“There is no way to tell which bed is Garch’s…” she tapped her foot, trying to think.

They walked up and down the room, more to feel as though they were doing something than actually trying to find anything.

The room was spotless, the blankets on the beds perfectly neat. She wondered if Monoids even naturally slept like that. Surely with their fur they would not need blankets.

She peered beneath the beds, there wasn’t even a trace of dust. The only unusual thing in the room was a marking above one of the beds, identical to the markings they’d glimpsed in the other dormitories they’d passed.

Frowning, she got down on her knees and looked beneath the bed which lay below the symbol. In the gloom she could make out several small rectangles. She touched one and realised it was a piece of paper. She unfurled it and tried to sound it out but it made little sense.

Steven looked over her shoulder “It’s a coded message of some kind. Well that proves that they’re fighting back anyway. Come on, we need to see if any of these notes can provide further clues.”
“Would it be wise to go to them with stolen coded messages?”

“It’s the best we can do.” he said, “Look, a lot of our plans we basically come up with on the spot, the Doctor acts like he’s in control but believe me most of this is improvisation.”

“Reassuring.” she squeezed the note tightly.

In stories everything seemed inevitable. Each action the characters took was so obvious that it seemed impossible to imagine any other way the story could have unfolded. If only life was like that.
“Look Katarina, we’ll be-“ but he stopped short because standing there in front of them was Mellium.

“What are you two doing here?! If you get caught here… it was lucky I was sent to tail you!” she said.

Steven looked unnerved but he stood his ground “By the sounds of things you’re not going to turn us in to the guardians, are you?”

“No, I was tasked with tailing you by a different group. Look, after Garch got taken away for reprimanding, I told you I’d do something, didn’t I?” she looked both ways down the corridor, clearly anxious not to linger.

“We couldn’t be sure of that,” Steven looked distinctly unimpressed, “It’s all well and good making a promise but it’s one thing to say something and another entirely to actually do it.”
“Well, if you want to do more than just promise, come with me. Trust me.” she said.

Katarina and Steven looked at each other, with only a vague clue otherwise, they had little choice but to trust Mellium.

…

“The kitchens?” Steven frowned at the plain grey double doors in front of them. Their investigation had led them there following several cryptic phrases from different Monoids they had encountered.

“You know, it makes sense. None of the nobles back in Troy ever set foot in their kitchens. We got away with a lot down there. Well, my friend Eirene did.” Katarina had always been so nervous that someone would come in and see them breaking the rules at just the wrong moment. But compared to the last few months those old fears seemed almost pitifully small.

Mellium pushed open the doors “Welcome to The Kitchen HQ!”

The Kitchens were teeming with Monoids and humans. Some looked excited but most glanced around nervously. They shifted from one foot to another, looking as though they wanted to say something but not quite knowing what.

The Doctor was already there and waved the three of them over.

“Ah, Steven, Katarina!” the Doctor said when they walked over to him.

“Okay, how long has this been going on exactly?” Steven asked Mellium, eager to ask what he couldn’t out in the corridors.

“Yes, I’d quite like to know myself.” the Doctor said.

“From the very beginning, ever since the agreement was announced. It wasn’t universally liked I can tell you all that much.” she shook her head in disgust. She took her a moment to catch her breath and consider her words.

“We’re supposed to be…” she sighed in frustration “They say this is the culmination of all human achievement but we enslaved another species? We made the choice to become guardians, to sacrifice our chance of ever seeing Refusius. But they didn’t. As guardians, we not only have to guard humanity but the Monoids, too. That’s the way it should be.” In her words, her passion, she could see that Mellium would be a brilliant leader one day.

As their explanations continued, Katarina found herself nodding along, entranced by not only her words but the eagerness with which she spoke. Even when it seemed impossible that they would succeed, they persisted. Somehow it did not seem foolish that they were fighting even when victory seemed impossible, it almost made it seem more noble, to fight when it seemed that it could only end in defeat.

“We know what it’s like to lose our planet, so I don’t know how we can just treat them like that.” she finished, shaking her head.

“Well, sometimes people, they only see themselves as important and they do not care who else they hurt in the pursuit of their own needs.” the Doctor said.
At that moment, Garch walked over to them.

“Garch!” Katarina felt a rush of relief seeing them there.

“I promised you I’d do something,” Mellium nodded at them “Good to see you’re doing okay Garch.”

“Yes, luckily I was only in isolation for an hour or so before Mellium pulled some strings,” they turned towards Katarina “So you found out about our resistance.”

“Yes, though that was more because of Mellium than our own sleuthing.”

“It means we’ve been successful in keeping it hard to find.” Garch signed and gave a satisfied nod.

“What did the symbol above the beds mean?” Katarina asked them.

“That represents our home planet and its moons, a reminder of who we are and what we stand for.” they signed.

Katarina knew the war that had engulfed her city would be well remembered, but what of her home? It heartened her to see the Monoids trying to keep their home alive, too.
Before she could reply to them, the kitchens hushed. Everyone turned towards the centre of the room as the Monoids standing there clapped for everyone’s attention.
“That is Marsclen, the resistance leader.” Garch signed.

One Monoid stood atop a chair and surveyed the room. They brought their hands up in front of them in a smooth and quick action, then began to sign.

“It is heartening to see so many gathered here today, Monoids and humans alike,” they began, “everyone here agrees that the current arrangements can no longer stand. If we are to move forward on this journey, things must change.” A murmur of agreement and a flurry of signs went around the room, at this response, Marsclens signs got bolder, clearer.

“We agreed that we would serve humanity, a mutual exchange. What could have been an opportunity for humanity to learn of our culture, our ways, to bridge the gap with a whole other species and expand beyond their provincial myopia, was instead used to exploit us like common cattle. In our culture, service is not a relationship of mastery and unending toil. To us serving is something everyone does. We serve because we are obliged to each other, because we all owe it to one another. Your insistence on service as domination shall not be allowed to persist, but this will break your own bondage as much as ours. A better world is possible, a kinder world. So join us in our endeavour, to break our bondage, to create the future that we were promised. We have not always lived up to it but we try. So let us serve, not in the way your leaders define it, but as equals, to create a new world, together!”Marsclen finished off with a dramatic flourish and she could feel the emotion radiating from the gesture.

How different it was, to serve in their world, she had never thought that serving could be done between equals. She had seen so little of the world but already it had revealed so many of its faces to her, how ideas she had taken for granted took on different guises throughout time and space. It was moments like this when just for a second she understood how big and complex the universe truly was.

They revealed their plans to the room. They intended to seize key points around the Ark to force them to capitulate to their demands The plan hinged on the computers and that was where the Doctor came in.

“What they’re saying is that the Monoids shock collars are controlled by the computers, but they’re having difficulty finding how the computers control them exactly. Once they do, they can disable them and put the plan into action.” Steven whispered to her. She felt grateful that he knew just when to step in and make it less puzzling.

“I believe I can help with that problem.” The Doctor said. “When I was searching through the computers earlier I noticed that...” from there she could not follow his explanation, computers were still a form of near-magic to her. From there the finer details of the plan were solidified, now that the final piece had come to them in the form of the Doctor and the meeting soon disbanded and everyone began to leave in small groups, to avoid arousing any suspicion.

The three of them were among those staying to find out the details of their roles. She leaned against a wall, waiting to be called over by one of the leaders.

Garch walked over and leaned on the wall beside her.

“Are you well?” they signed, looking down at her in concern.

“Yes, yes, I’m doing well.” she said lightly, averting her gaze.

“Don’t use that tone with me,” they simply blinked at her.

“What do you mean?”

“The tone that you use with them, we have that, too, even though we don’t speak out loud.”

She let herself slump, a pressure easing off of her.

“I just…” as was often the case these days, she struggled to put everything that had been going through her head into coherent words.

“I was taught that this was the way of the world. That some of us were destined to be servants and that there was no point in hoping for anything else.” she fidgeted with her sleeve.

“But ever since I fled my city I have found nothing is certain an-and now I do not know my place in the world or if I am honouring my city-“ she gasped, taking a sharp breath. Far more had come out than was supposed to. Suddenly she felt so weary from the weight of all those emotions and questions. Did everything have to change? Did her whole world mean nothing?

She felt Garch place a hand on her shoulder. Her breathing slowed down and while she still felt as though she was , she did not feel as though she were about to drown. They removed their hand and began to sign.

“I did not grow up a servant, so I have lived a very different life. I know for a fact that it is not the fate of anyone to serve in the way humanity seems to define it. Sometimes the worlds we are born into aren’t just or fair. But that does not mean we have to accept those worlds.”

“But…” everyone she had met these past few months from the Doctor to Steven and now, Garch, seemed to rage against fate. How could it be as simple as rejecting fate? She had been taught it was wrong to go against it but these past few months they had altered the course of events time and again and oftentimes it was for the better.

Though she was sure Sara’s death was some divine punishment for their actions, she still could not help but wonder because their changes had been far-reaching, a retribution of one death seemed small, it made no sense. All she knew was that the nature of fate was not as immutable as she had believed it to be.

“Does not mean that you deserved to be treated like that.” they signed. “No life is worth as little as that. It’s because every life is important that we fight back. When we say we serve each other, we serve everyone, no matter who they are.”

Perhaps seeing that she needed some time to reflect on their conversation, Garch patted her on the shoulder and left her to ruminate.

Of course she did not like being a handmaiden, duty was not a thing that was supposed to be liked. The work was demanding and tiring, and Cassandra was a harsh and exacting mistress and Katarina had not particularly liked her either. There was honour in the position but there was a cost to it, a cost that she had borne because it was her given fate. Even though she had known there was no way to change it, there were still days she had imagined standing up to Cassandra, days where her cheek stung from a slap and she could barely hold in her anger.

She and Eirene, the others, sometimes they’d whisper about it in the dormitory after a particularly awful day. But it was just that: whispers. There was an order to the world, there were the rulers, the nobles, and those who served them and that was that. There was no point in trying to change that order, for the Gods had designed it so for a purpose. But the Monoids did not believe that such an order was sacred. Only a few months ago, she would have found that sacrilegious.

But if she had learned one thing, the universe was so much bigger than she had ever thought. Maybe there was a place in it where servants could be the ones to stand up and demand. Maybe it was possible that they would listen. If they didn’t, maybe they had a duty to make them listen.

“Katarina?”

Her name had been called, she was about to find out her role in the events to come. She smiled and nodded at Garch who ushered her forward.

Her part in the plan was easier compared to the Doctor and Steven. The Doctor would be playing a key role in helping with the computers with Steven assisting him. As for her, she was to distract the leaders at the party being thrown that evening in their honour.

As they made their way out, her stomach was churning.

“You’ll do great.” Steven nodded at her.

“Yes, my dear, I have every confidence you’ll succeed.”

“I’ll do my best.” When she said it she found that she sounded somewhat confident. She really wanted to live up to that confident girl her voice seemed to belong to.

…

“Right, at this time they normally pass by here.” she checked one of those smooth metal tablets everyone had “And we’re right on time.”

She nodded. She wished she were someone else, but she would have to do, would have to be enough.

They stood in a corridor just off one of the main halls, ready to intercept the leaders of the Ark. Should their distraction go to plan, the control room would remain empty long enough for the Doctor and the others to do whatever it was they needed to do with the computers.

Mellium suddenly straightened “That’s them coming now, you ready?”

She had little choice but to nod and they stepped out into the corridor and began walking towards the Head Guardian and his posse.

“Remember, look casual. Follow my lead, he’ll pretend nothing is wrong, we must use that to our advantage.” she whispered, and it only made Katarina more aware of how she had no idea how her body actually worked. How was she supposed to hold herself? What looked normal?

“Ah, Mellium. And Katarina.” the leader greeted them both with one of his far too large, fake smiles.

Her mind went blank. Somehow not even the Daleks had frozen her in such a way. At least then she had thought she had known how it would end and when the end was inevitable there was little point in worrying. But nothing was inevitable here.

“Father, I’ve been continuing my tour of the ship with Katarina here, we didn’t get to see all of it yesterday. She’s been loving it, it really is quite a remarkable ship we have here.” she beamed up at him and all Katarina could do was stare in awe at Mellium’s performance.

“My, are you really?” he turned to Katarina “What has been your favourite part so far?” he almost seemed genuinely curious.

“My favourite part?” she found she had forgotten everything she had learned about the ship. All she could do was stand there trying to think but nothing was coming to her and she felt ready to crumple onto the ground.

“You seemed to really like the water systems.” Mellium said eagerly, her tone covering up her desperate scramble for a highlight of their tour. She gestured at Katarina to go on, her smile never faltering.

“Oh yes, the, um, the water systems. It’s amazing people can get water no matter where they are on the ship.” she was painfully aware of how they saw her, just a simple peasant girl who could barely speak in coherent sentences. Part of her agreed with their judgment, that she was acting like she was far better than she really was.

“Really, that was what amazed you about it?” the Head Guardian arched an eyebrow, a smirk playing on his face.

“Well-“

“It is pretty amazing when you think about it.” Mellium said, gesturing at nothing in particular, “We take it for granted but I think it’s interesting to get an outsiders perspective.”

“I really loved seeing how it all worked.” said Katarina. It was a special torture, to know how inadequate her words were and to know that she needed to fill the silence and keep them talking but not to have any idea of how do so.

“I hate to leave in such a hurry, but I have duties I must attend to,” with that, the Head Guardian set off in a brisk walk and Katarina felt her face burn with shame.

“Come on, we better not linger, they’ll probably start sending out patrols once they realise what’s happening, and we really do not want to have to deal with them.” Mellium was right, there was no time to dwell on her failure, not when in mere minutes the Head Guardian would learn about the rebellion.

They rushed off and she felt ready to collapse, as though she had just fended off a swordsman with all of her strength. It was pathetic, how could she feel the rush of battle when all she had done was speak a few clumsy sentences?

Mellium squeezed her hand, bringing her back to reality.

“You did great, I’ve been there myself, one time I had to recite all the members of the Galactic Council in school but all I could do was stand there and I was like frozen, I forgot everything I’d ever known, mortifying. You definitely did better than I did in that test, pressure is hard thing to push back against.” at the end of her ramble, Mellium smiled reassuringly at her.

Katarina nodded and smiled back but despite her kindness, Melliums reassurance was worse than her being disappointed. As she walked back with her, she shamefully hoped that was the end of her participation in the plan.

…

The Doctor and Steven looked relieved to see her when she returned. Luckily the halls and corridors had been quiet, her and Mellium’s stroll had almost been comically leisurely. No good Trojan soldier would let a Greek merely stroll away from battle, it seemed as though people in the future knew little of warfare. At least it was to their advantage.

“I tried but I fear my efforts did not do much.” she looked away from them. Her cheeks burned when she thought of how she had stumbled over her words.

“Not to worry my dear, the alarms would have sent them running no matter how compelling your words were, but you gave us valuable time.” he did not sound angry and that made her feel worse.

“You did great, seriously.” Mellium whispered, smiling at her. Turning to the Doctor she asked “So is it done?”

“Unfortunately it's not over yet.”

“Did it not go to plan?”

“I believe the rebels have captured most of the key areas but they have not quite succeeded yet. I won’t go into the technical details but the system controlling their shock collars is more secure than I had thought, we only managed to temporarily disable the key systems but there is a separate system we need to disable. However, we know very little about it.”

“I wish I could help, but father keeps the workings of the computer system well under wraps. I was actually pretty surprised when he let you in initially.” Mellium said that last part to the Doctor.
“Not to worry my dear, we have managed to keep them out of the system for the time being but they’ll have found a way back in soon, no doubt, we need a plan.”

“So what’s our plan now?” Steven already sounded resigned.

“That my boy is what we’re going to find out!” the Doctor replied with a chuckle, his voice rising to try and lift Steven’s spirits.

It was frightening but few were acting scared. In a strange way, it almost felt festive. Even though they had not quite won yet, a charge had begun to build. Already the humans and Monoids were working to find out how to access the necessary system and setting up a guard at the outer edges of the chamber. Those who were not planning or guarding sat in groups. They were mixed groups and though the conversation seemed slightly stilted, there was an eagerness on both sides.

When the wind had blown in the right direction and carried the noise of battle towards Troy, everything stopped at those initial sounds and they had all stood united, unafraid, knowing they were not alone and defenceless in the midst of the enemy attack. For that brief moment everyone would be united, sure that their city could withstand anything. She only hoped in the Monoids case that the feeling would not be unfounded.

They approached Marsclen, who was signing rapidly at a small group of people. When they saw the three of them, they turned their attention to them.

“I am glad that you are all here! We have a few leads, based on intelligence we have gathered.” they signed. “We will need to send out several groups to try and investigate these locations, we would appreciate if you joined one of those groups.”

“Of course, how many locations are there that need to be scouted? And how long do we have before they reactivate the security systems?” Steven asked.

“Well given the way I calibrated the systems, if my estimates are correct, we have less than an hour. Finding this separate system is a matter of great urgency!”

Her heart dropped. If Troy had fallen despite having the finest army in the world, how were their little groups to succeed in the face of such obstacles? But the Doctor and Steven looked undeterred despite the time limit and lack of information on the systems whereabouts.

Steven and the Doctor left with one of the small groups. She wanted to believe that one of the groups would succeed, that they were fated to.

“They’ll be alright, I-“

Before he could finish his reassurances, a girl came running in.

“Patrol-“ she gasped, hands on her knees “They’re headed- headed in the direction of the group going to deactivate the collar system, the one with that man, the Doctor.”

“I’ll go.” Katarina said. Her voice sounded sure but she was afraid. But she could not remain behind, not while her friends were in danger. “As a diversion.”

They nodded and gave her the directions. As soon as they stopped speaking, she began to run, towards the heart of enemy territory.

Chapter Text

“Runtiya, protect me, please.” Could they hear her prayers even though she was so far away? Would they answer the pleas of a girl who had strayed from her path, from a city that had angered them so? She hoped that if they could, they could still see her faith.

Her heart pounded as she ran and she felt that rush of battle once again, but it felt right, she was rushing towards danger, towards guards who could kill her. This time she would not be so scared, so pathetic.

Sometimes she had thought the soldiers involved in diversions were the most noble kind for they would not be the ones claiming the glory. It felt right, being a sacrifice, she was not destined for greatness but she could be a piece that built the path for those that were.

As she ran she hummed the directions to the tune of a ballad her father used to sing. He said that was the key to memorisation, setting everything to song. In the past few months with everything she had had to learn, the technique had not failed her yet.

When she reached the intersection she continued to hum quietly. She had thought the melody would make her sad but she found it a comfort, invoking her father’s presence in this distant time.
She stepped into the middle of the hall, she was unafraid and she knew that what she was doing was right. The Doctor and Steven would succeed, she would help fates course, as had always been intended.

On cue, the patrol came round the corner. They briefly froze when they saw her but the lead guard approached, gun raised.

…

It was always going to end this way, her waiting for death. She’d come so close to death that it felt almost familiar. What must Šanta think, a scrawny young girl falling into his grasp so many times only to keep getting pulled away over and over? She could not help but be grateful for the forces that kept her in the mortal realm, even if she could not understand their plan for her yet.

She studied the guards from where she was sitting. They were slouched and idling, clearly not professionals. If they had been in Troy they would have been punished with withheld provisions and laps around the walls of the city. For all their talk of advancement standards had slipped far.

But lazy and idle guards were a gift. If the rest of the guards were anything like the group imprisoning her, the resistance would hopefully prevail soon. They did not question her or harass her and she kept herself small and unobtrusive. They only stood to attention once their superior entered.

“Go, south corridor in the research section, by the forest reserve there, numbers are needed.” Though the superior was firm, none of them moved.

“But…” They looked at her.

No discipline among them at all. Truly they were terrible soldiers, even the Greeks had been better than that.

“South corridor in the research section, she’s hardly a threat, you there stay behind to guard her. The rest of you, go.”

The three guards left swiftly. The lead guard glared at her before turning to follow them. She stared at the floor, all too aware of the one remaining guard.

She had to wonder what their fixation was on that area. They were not trying to attack the Monoids or the resistance. She knew little about strategy, only what she had overheard from war meetings in the palace when she had been attending to Cassandra as she told the king and the generals her predictions. But she knew this was no reasonable strategy.

With nothing else to do, she turned it over in her head, until she heard the door open. The guard turned only to be greeted with a punch. She fell to the ground and the Doctor and Steven rushed towards her. She had cheated death yet again and still it felt like the most miraculous thing.

“Doctor, Steven!”

“Oh don’t you worry my dear, ‘happens more often than you’d think but we’re always fine in the end!” the Doctor said, in a way that was presumably supposed to be reassuring.

“I realise how it sounds but he’s surprisingly good at escaping.” Steven raised his eyebrows at her and she had to stifle a giggle.

“What’s that my boy?”

“Just extolling your skills as an escape artist to Katarina.”

“There’s no time for that, come on, Garch is waiting outside. We have commandeered a vehicle!” the Doctor chuckled in delight and immediately left to go to this vehicle.

“Maybe not enough practice.” Steven replied, raising an eyebrow at her.

In the corridor Garch was sitting at the wheel of a vehicle.

“Hop on in to the Garchmobile!” they signed, waving at her.

“Is that what they’re called?” Katarina asked. She had thought it looked somewhat like a car, those loud and ferocious metal vehicles she’d seen in the 20th century. Though like the carts she had known, there was no roof.

“No, I gave them the idea for the name!” Mellium waved from the very back row. “Come on, let’s get out of here!” she patted the seat next to her.

The vehicle rolled smoothly into motion and just like that they made their getaway. Katarina turned to watch the door of her prison shrink away and her stomach swooped in excitement, and as the vehicle glided away she felt invincible.

“First they left the servants corridors undefended and now the corridors are not even blocked… they’re sending all their troops to the south research corridor. We all would have died instantly if they had been the ones defending Troy.” she shook her head and the headiness from the escape made her giggle at their foolishness.

“Foolish as they may be, we have not found the system that controls the Monoids shock collars.” the Doctor’s grave tone cut through her elation and she was left with a cold dread.

“We’re running out of time, and we don’t even have any clues as to where it could be.” Steven looked anxious but the Doctors face lit up and he clasped his hands together.

“Wait, wait, I think I know where this system we need might be! Katarina, what did you say earlier my dear!”

“About…” she looked at the Doctor expectantly, unable to understand what he was getting at.

“The south research corridor…” the Doctor nodded at her, trying to prompt her words. “You noticed...”

“Well they’re not very good at tactics if they’re amassing all their forces… oh. Near the nature reserve! Wait, does this mean?”

“I think it does my dear! This separate system is hidden somewhere in the reserve. They didn’t want to make it too easy but they were not expecting us!”

“Garch, please make for the south research corridor!” the Doctor said. Garch responded with a nod and the vehicle veered left, slamming Mellium into her side.

“Now this is getting exciting!” Mellium exclaimed as she pushed herself up, her hair askew from falling into Katarina’s side.

“But wait,” she was smoothing down her hair, “how do we get in? They’ve initiated lockdown procedures all over the ship. The walls are electrified during lockdowns so that’s already off the cards.”

“We’ll find a way, don’t you worry.” the Doctor said calmly. Despite the sudden swerve he’d managed to remain upright, as though he had simply ignored the sudden force that had pushed the rest of them around.

Garch drove swiftly, turning down smaller and darker corridors where the vehicle was practically scraping the walls. How they made the turns in such small spaces she did not know but soon they pulled to a stop.

They turned around “This is as near as I dare to go, I say we would’ve run into guards had we gone on any further.” they signed.

“Thank you, this is more than close enough.” Mellium said, hopping down from the vehicle, brimming with energy.

“Now to find a way in.” Steven said, arms folded.

“The ducts.” the Doctor said with a mischievous grin, staring at a metal grate on the floor.

She frowned as she watched the others shake their heads. What was so terrible about the ducts? The name didn’t give much away.

The Doctor looked at Steven and quickly everyone followed suit, leaving him with no way to avoid the shared conclusion.

“Of course it has to be me.” Steven mumbled, looking very defeated.

“Well this is simply the course that events are taking, we have no say in the matter.” she hoped it sounded reassuring, but Steven was a man who listened to no Gods.

“Thanks Katarina.” he flashed her a sardonic thumbs up. Well, it was not her fault that this was role he was destined to play.

The four of them lifted a grate off the floor revealing what looked to be a dark, narrow corridor coated in metal. Steven would just be about able to crawl through the ducts. With a defeated sigh, he climbed into the ducts.

“At least they’re underfloor, my boy!” the Doctor called after him.

…

Once Steven had gotten inside the nature reserve, he had been able to give the group that they had rounded up on their recruitment drive access to the reserve. It was a fairly big group and it hadn’t been easy sneaking in, it had taken a large distraction further down the corridor before they were able to enter.

Inside, the reserve was as calm as it had been when they had first landed, a sanctuary amidst the danger. Ahead of her Marsclen, the Monoid rebellion leader, was in a discussion with Mellium. Humans and Monoids alike mingled as they advanced through the foliage, searching for anything that might resemble the system.

She looked around, looking for any glints of metal that might indicate a machine of some kind, but only seeing trees and leaves and soil. Just where was this hidden system?

“Do not despair my dear, we’ll find it.” the Doctor said, seeing the look on her face. He peered at the trees, as though trying to recall something. Everyone watched him but were still surprised when he suddenly set off through the trees.

He came to a stop at a seemingly random tree and knocked on it.

“The metal tree?” she had to wonder what it had to do with anything.

He felt around the tree and somehow found an opening. Inside were buttons. He pressed one and the ground beside the tree slid away. Where the ground had been was a set of stairs.
They led down to a small chamber. The reveal had been almost disappointing. How could the whole system that trapped the Monoids be contained within one tiny room? Within there seemed to be a screen and several buttons, though what they did she could not begin to guess at.

“Right Doctor, what do we do?” Steven asked.

“We simply need to deactivate the system, of course.” he said confidently, though his expression was slightly puzzled as he stared at it. The rest of the group looked just as clueless as though they had not been surrounded by such wondrous technology their entire lives.

“There were codes,” Marsclen signed, “we had a few of them collected.”

“Wait!” Katarina reached into her dress pocket and pulled out the crumpled piece of paper she and Steven had found earlier, “Were they like this?”

“Yes! Wait, where did you get that.”

“We went searching for rebellion and um…”

“Never mind that, Marsclen, why are these codes so important?” the Doctor asked, holding up the tiny sheet.

“They were the passcodes for the electric collar system, they didn’t work earlier because the electric collar control system is here.”

“But we only have one piece of paper, you said there were codes” Steven sounded about ready to smash the computer, on edge from his journey through the ducts.

“Don’t worry, I should be able to figure it out based on the one code.” the Doctor waved off his concerns and turned towards the glowing screen.

They all watched in silence as the Doctor tapped the keyboard, letting out quiet, relieved gasps when the computer beeped in affirmation at another line of code. Never had such small and precise actions seemed so riveting, it was the same excitement she had always felt watching the final race of the chariot racing tournament on Tiwad’s festival day.

“This rebellion ends now.” They turned to find the Head Guardian and dozens of guards behind him.

Their weapons were poised and the rebels that had accompanied them responded in turn. Before either side could attack, the Doctor stepped between them.

“I will not have any of that!” he had walked between them as though compelled by an instinct, the action had seemed so natural. She gazed upon him and though he had the guise of an old and fragile man, there was something more, a quiet power radiated from him and both sides bowed to it.

“Stand down, we have the upper hand. We are willing to end this peacefully.” Marsclen signed, stepping out beside the Doctor.

“Mellium,” The Head Guardian turned towards her, shaking his head, “Stop being so foolish, come up here to me now.” though he spoke as though she had merely talked back to him, the guards still had their weapons poised in her direction.

“Me, being foolish? I think this is the most sensible thing I’ve done in my life!” she stepped forward, unafraid.

“Anyone who stands up against injustice is being sensible. We will not accept this treatment any longer.” Marsclens eye was narrowed in a glare, their signs sharp with fury.
“They offered to serve us, it’s not like we forced them.” the Head Guardian scoffed.

“But you took advantage, you saw that our culture had a different understanding of serving. And where else did we have go? You know perfectly well what you have done, don’t insult us by pretending you don’t.” they signed, their hands shaking with rage.

“This is about the survival of our species! Sacrifices had to be made!” the Head Guardians composure slipped, a sneer curled his lips. It was the most natural he had ever seemed.

“Is the survival of humanity worth that? If it comes on the backs of exploiting the Monoids? I’m ashamed to be related to you,” Mellium spat that last sentence, her voice breaking on the last word.

“No, no sacrifice ever had to be made. If only you had the interests of both our species at heart and not just maintaining your own position over the ship,” Marsclens signed.

“It was pointless cruelty, many societies across the universe function perfectly without such injustices, a fact that you know well.” the Doctor said.

“How could we trust that they would keep their end of the bargain, that’s how civilizations fall, only the weak would choose not to wield their power.” this was who the head guardian was, laid bare for all to see. “We’ll have access to the systems in a few minutes, and this little rebellion will come to an end.”

No more making herself small. The Doctor just needed a little more time, then the Guardians would have no power over the Monoids. She edged back to Steven who was just behind her.
“Get him back in there, I will try and distract them.” she whispered to him.

Steven gently grabbed her arm, “Katarina, I can’t let you-“

“Please, they’ll never suspect me of trying anything, not after my last attempt at distraction went so horribly wrong.”

He let go of her arm and nudged her forward. The exchanges between the two parties was tense, she needed to step in. Never in her life had she imagined interrupting a conversation between two leaders but the rules she had followed in Troy would not help her here.

“Have you ever even thought about what it's like for them?” For a few moments, everyone, just stared at her. She could not freeze up, not like she had in the corridor. All eyes were on her, exactly where she wanted them. The Monoids and other rebels crowded around her, hopefully concealing just where the Doctor was headed.

“And how is that relevant? It is not about what they want, what beings want is not what is good for the whole.” he did not even sound angry, it were as though a child had interrupted to show them all a cute little dance. He looked up at Marsclen, laughing slightly, “Really, you’re getting an uneducated girl from the most primitive time to advocate for you?”

This stunned her. Weren't leaders supposed to care? They were the ones who upheld the order for the good of all their subjects. But there was no such concern in his words, people like her and Garch were nothing to him.

"Well, that was quite insightful," he turned away from her, unaffected by her question, and she suddenly felt a rage that seemed to have been waiting to emerge rise up. It almost felt too big for her to contain and it was not her, but that monstrous anger that spoke.

“I am speaking!" she was stunned by the force of her words, but she continued quickly, the anger she barely understood pushing her on.

"I still have much to learn, but I understand everything perfectly. I understand that your treatment of them went beyond discipline, I understand that it was all a guise for cruelty. When your life is so intolerable… maybe you have to question who really are the betters. You claim to be learned and sneer at me yet you treat them so poorly?”

“She’s right, how could you live with yourselves, treating them like that? How could you sleep at night?” Steven had stepped up behind her, not only to support her but likely to block the Doctor from view after getting him back down to the computer.

“He simply never cared, survival of the species was just an excuse,” Garch stepped in, all of their pain spilling out “But those caught in the games of those with power see them play out and eventually they fight back.” The Head Guardian could not ignore what was in front of him and it was an incredible thing to see someone so lowly command such attention. The world they had created for themselves was being broken down by the words of Monoids, even just their mere presence was enough to shake its foundations, for a wild and heady second, it felt as though they were all standing against fate itself.

“Survival of his species, with not a care for anyone else?” asked Katarina. The anger was strangely exhilarating, speaking these things out loud, thoughts only half-voiced in the dead of night to Eirene on the worst days. She found she wanted to continue, brimming with words now that she had given her anger voice.

“Enough, I don’t have to answer these questions.” said the Head Guardian, stepping forward, their side was poised to prevent him from getting to the computer by any means necessary, she had tried her best but-

“That was all we needed.” The Doctor gave a triumphant little chuckle. With a few small taps of the right buttons, it was over. The system shut down. There was a silence and she could feel the quiet sense of relief among them all. The Head Guardian had stopped in his tracks.

“You have no more power over us, our coalition has seized all the key areas, you are surrounded, you have no means with which to control us.” Marsclen signed. “Reinforcements will be on their way shortly.”

The head guardian looked around, but hearing the sounds of the reinforcements in the distance, he signalled at the guards to lower their weapons in surrender.

They had won. It had to have been fate and yet, it did not feel right to call it that. It did not feel right to call the will of the Monoids mere fate, not when they had faced such insurmountable odds. Through the anger that still coursed through her, she felt something familiar peak through. That tiny bloom of hope she had felt in the Daleks prison with Steven and Sara. She held onto the tender feeling, letting the anger fade in the face of it for the time being. Something as powerful as that would make its return.

As everyone else celebrated around her, she was left dazed. That fate was not as solid she had believed, was something that thrilled and terrified her all at once. Should they change it? In that moment, despite her fear at the idea of a future that could shift and change, she could not help but begin to believe that maybe their wielding of the power to change fate was right.

…

Katarina watched as a party of sorts took place below her. The future of The Ark was not quite certain but there was hope in the air.

Negotiations had begun earlier in the day. Steven had gone in as a neutral party to help them get off the ground. To see it not end in bloodshed had been remarkable but she could not help but grieve. Could it have ever ended like that for Troy? That was the thing about new possibilities. At once they opened up the whole world but the past still lingered. How could she go forward after all that had happened?

She shook her head and sighed. At least the negotiations had gone well so far. They agreed that they would create facilities to suspend some of the Monoids as well, while allowing others to become full guardians with a say in the guarding of both species and the running of the ship. The two species, forging on into the stars, together.

She had hidden herself away, needing time to think about all that had happened on the Ark. In the months of travelling she had come to appreciate those deserted corners and lonely places where she had room to just be.

But she not was not left alone for long, Garch found her watching the proceedings.

“Are you well?” they signed.

“I just needed some space, I have much to think about.” she said.

“I understand, it has been incredible, but it has all happened dizzyingly quickly.” They paused, hands poised “I’m going to be one of the Monoids miniaturised.” Their signs were small and hesitant.

At this, Katarina smiled. She knew the negotiations had involved allowing some of the Monoids to be put to sleep along with the humans, and she was glad to see that they had agreed to the term. In doing so, they had declared that both species would create a future together.

“You’ll get to see Refusius, you are brave for putting yourself forward for that, ” their anxieties were all too familiar to her, stepping into an unknown world.

“I wonder what it will be like, a new home... The idea of waking up in seven hundred years is terrifying but the idea of no future at all is even more terrifying.” they signed.

If either of them decided to stop, there would be no past and no future. Their homes would be forgotten and they would never see what came next. So she could not give up. Her world might have ended but there was still a whole universe. Somewhere out there in that universe she had a fate that was hers to follow.

“Yes, it is better to try, even if it means feeling all that pain, rather than just turning away from the world.” she nodded, her voice quiet at the thought of all that she still had yet to face.
“We’ll both find our new worlds.” they signed. The two of them looked up, as though they could see the places that awaited them beyond the ceiling.

The silence was broken by the sound of the footsteps. They both turned to see Mellium there. She looked taut and it made her seem smaller. Even after all that had happened with her father, she’d never seen her like that.

Garch looked between them. “I’ll leave you two to it.”

Garch left, giving them both a quick nod.

“I didn’t…” Mellium wrung her hands.

“No, no, not at all.” Katarina shook her head.

An awkward silence descended and Katarina knew what was coming. For some reason she felt a brief stab of panic.

“I was wondering, if you’d…” she blushed “maybe want to dance and, I don’t know…” Mellium said, her voice softer than she’d ever heard it. Katarina knew exactly what Mellium was hoping for.
“I’m not really-“ she shook her head, backing away slightly.

“I’m sorry,” Mellium said, stricken, her eyes widening in embarrassment.

“I really do like you but, I just…” every word out of her mouth was more painful than the last. She had had friends who had been in similar positions and she knew she would simply have to endure it until it finally came to an end.

But there was an even worse feeling roiling beneath the discomfort: guilt. She should have felt something. As she had never felt anything for any of the boys she knew back in Troy, she thought she had an answer when Sara had explained to her that love between two women was possible.

Mellium was sweet and brave and kind… But she had just lost her whole city, there was no room for those things, whether a boy or a girl or anyone else. A part of her felt as though she was outside looking in when it came to those things. It was just because she hadn’t met the right person yet. That had to be it.

“Hey, don’t worry I understand. I’d love if you’d join me down there anyway, I know everyone wants to see you.” she turned her head towards the party below.

“I’ll join everyone later, it has just been…”

“I get you, I’ll be nearby if you just need someone.”

“Wait,” she said “Are you sure you’re okay up here?”

“I will be, Mellium. Don’t worry about me, I need a bit of quiet.”

Mellium nodded and as she left she felt relieved, letting go of all her uneasy thoughts about romance as she turned back around to watch the gathering below.

Monoids and humans intermingled, the crowds slowly becoming more blended. It was all about the future. Every resistance member she had talked to had talked about building the future, about what they wanted to carry forward. There had been so much loss but still they went forward, their homes not forgotten. The best parts of their past were being used to build that future and the worst parts were kept as a warning.

What of her city? What of her? After today, moving forward did not seem so impossible, not after meeting the brave Monoids and the humans who chose to stand up alongside them.
Already she knew there would be days where it still felt as though there was no way forward. But she would remember The Ark and how they remembered and honoured their peoples. While she changed and learned and grew, she wanted to honour her people, too, to hold her city within her.

And as for her fate, she had begun to consider that it was not to end in her death. Maybe that was the most terrifying thing of all, that fate was not a fixed path designed long before her existence. That instead humans had far more power than they knew, that it was possible to shape your own fate. She didn’t feel comfortable with the idea that she had such power but it was there nonetheless, she would have to find a way to make peace with it.

“Doctor, I’ve found her!” Steven called out. “You know, it was good to see them all like that. A happy ending for once.” Steven smiled and though it was strained, it was at least a smile.

“Katarina, there you are!” the Doctor said, coming over with Steven, “I wanted to discuss something with you.”

“Yes?” she glanced between the two of them, wondering why they looked so serious.

“Well, I was thinking that this could be a nice place to stay, my child. I dragged you into danger and completely upended your world, I know these past few months have not been easy for you. Here you could have a safe and peaceful life. I would be sad to see you go but I have to make this offer to you, I want to see you safe and well.” the Doctor said to her.

Had she done something wrong? She didn’t want to leave. But then she saw his expression which was not angry but almost sad. It struck her that for the first time it was about what she wanted and he was giving her that choice.

But as soon as he had offered her the choice, she had known in her heart what her answer would be.

“I want to stay with you and Steven, to help fight injustice. I do not know yet what my fate is, but I believe it lies with you two. And I would like to discover it by your side.”

“Excellent, my dear!” a grin spread across his face and Steven looked genuinely happy for the first time since Kembel.

“Now come along, we have the universe to explore.” the Doctor said, smiling, leading them off to the TARDIS, to the rest of the universe, and to whatever her fate was supposed to be.

Chapter Text

Katarina peeked out at the narrow street outside, keeping watch for anyone who may have followed. They had managed to find a refuge in Preslin’s abandoned apothecary, a corner of quiet in a city whose streets teemed with tension ready to boil over and those trying to play off the events for their own gain. After several minutes of keeping lookout, the street remained dark and deserted.

She smoothed out her skirts so that she could sit down. It was strange to her that they needed so many layers, the fabric felt like a trap around her legs. At least the sheer amount of fabric made it more comfortable to sit on the stone tiles. She breathed in, weary from the day, the lingering scents of the herbs reminding her of the market days in Troy.

They were hunted on all sides, no one trusting the strange foreigners who had found themselves in the city. Neither she nor Steven could make sense of the Doctor’s actions. Assuming that the Doctor was indeed pretending to be the Abbot of Ambrose. They had survived without the Doctor before but never in such a precarious situation.

They had a small bit of luck when they had encountered Anne Chaplet, a young servant girl who was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Now they were each other’s only protection from the looming conflict.

“Are we safe here?” Anne asked. She passed them the candles that she had lit. In the darkness it seemed that the flames jumping to life came from her hands.

“Yes, we should be for the time being. As long as we don’t make our presence too obvious.” he said as he took a lit candle from Anne and placed it on the floor beside him, away from the boarded-up windows.

She had missed the gentle glow that flames provided, that glow made places feel cosier and more intimate. She found electric lighting unnatural, to her it was as though the sun itself had been captured and trapped, forced to illuminate rooms when all should have been dark. Seeing the flame made her eyes sting, a sudden longing for Troy lurching up.

“Are you well, Anne?” she asked as Anne sat down next to her. She was glad of the distraction. She could sense Anne’s emotions beneath her calm exterior she was terrified and it rubbed up against Katarina’s own emotions; like an ill-fitting dress chafing against bare skin.

“Quite alright, thank you.” she nodded, her body relaxed as she rested against the wall. Her anxious face belied what her words did not.

“We’ll keep you safe, we promise.” Steven said, walking over to them and sitting down across from them. “Here is as good a place as any to stay for the night, they’ll never think to search it twice.”

“Thank you to you both, I don’t know what I would have done had I not come across you two.” she said, some of the tension leaving her body.

“Hopefully we can get the information about the Sea Beggar to Nicholas tomorrow before it’s too late and find the Doctor, wherever he’s gotten to.” he looked out between the gaps of boards, a frown on his face.

“What will be will be.” Katarina said quietly, though she hoped what would be would involve giving the information to Nicholas on time. But it was out of their control. Steven paced the floor, alternating rubbing his face or letting his arms swing, she was reminded of the flames of a fire straining against confines of the hearth. She wished she could do something to put his mind at ease.

“As long as we’re cautious we should be able to get the information to him and find your friend.” Anne nodded as though to reassure herself.

They fell into silence for some time, each lost in their own thoughts. The candlelit shop felt like the closest place to home she’d been in many, many months. But though there were traces of familiarity, it was a place as strange as the distant jungles of Kembel or the Ark had been. Unlike those places, where the strangeness was in the environment, here the strangeness lay in the conflict threatening to wrench Paris apart.

“I do not understand, how can you worship your God incorrectly? Did your God tell a holy man that was the case? It just doesn’t make sense.” Katarina broke the silence, wondering aloud more than anything but Anne answered her anyway.

“No, he did not.” she shook her head, staring at her in bewilderment, “I’ve never heard anyone put it like that, where are you both from?” Katarina shifted uncomfortably at the question.

“England.” Steven said lightly, “We’re just passing through the city.”

“Travellers, I haven’t encountered many of those.” Anne looked at them with wide eyes and Katarina was reminded of the girl she was back in Troy, when she secretly hungered for the world that lay beyond the walls.

“It’s so vast,” Katarina said dreamily, thinking about all the other lands that were suspended above them in the sky, invisible to the eye. “There’s worlds out there, all of them so complicated.” She could not even begin to put those places into words, the beauty that came from the strangeness of not only the sights but the aliens themselves, their mere existence so utterly wondrous.

“I beg your pardon?” Anne’s confusion jolted her back to reality.

“What she means is that every place we’ve been to is… complicated.” Steven said awkwardly, trying to cover for her, “each place has its own history and culture and customs that make it unique. It could take years to truly understand them all.”

Each time period really was its own separate world. She knew that everywhere she had travelled with the Doctor and Steven were in the same realm but they were also separate and closed off, with unique quirks and features forming those intricate worlds, details and phenomena that only existed for a brief, shining moment.

“I think I am ready to retire for the night, it’s been a long day.” Anne said, a yawn escaping her as though to prove her point.

Steven went into the storeroom at the back to find things to make the hard floor slightly bearable and came back with reams of fabric and sacks that could be used as pillows. But even that felt like home, lying on the floor, listening to the breathing of her family, then her fellow handmaidens and feeling safe knowing that they were just there beside her in the dark.

Anne blew out several of the candles, the store returning to darkness once more.

“Thank you once again, the both of you. I hope we can talk more in the morning, you’re both rather interesting.” she said, her voice sleepy.

Within a few minutes, she was asleep and Katarina was a little envious of her.

It wasn’t only the nightmares that made it hard to sleep but everything else, too. Her mind was simply alight at all times with new ideas and information, most nights she found it difficult to calm her thoughts enough to sleep.

Her gifts could also be a burden. While she was not having as many dreams about the future, she could still sometimes sense people’s emotions when they were heightened. In a city about to erupt into open conflict, just about everyone was unwittingly projecting their true emotions out. Mama had said the Gods had given them such a burden, but that such a burden was actually a blessing. On a day like today it had not felt like a blessing to feel so much panic and fear push itself into her mind. The exhaustion from it all was so heavy, so absolute that it kept her awake, her brain far too scrambled and alert for her to properly calm down.

Steven, too, seemed troubled and it comforted her somewhat to know that she was not alone in her restlessness. A single candle still burned, an indication that he knew that sleep would not be coming for either of them any time soon.

“This city feels like Troy,” she whispered, trying not to wake Anne up.

“What do you mean?” he asked, his voice low. His lips pressed into a tight line.

“Well, it feels like it is all about to collapse,” she sighed, trying to find the words to express the feeling to someone who had never lived in the midst of such an atmosphere, the smothering feeling of dread that came when all you could do was wait for the walls to fall.

“It’s only now that I have travelled with you and the Doctor that I realise that in Troy it always felt like everything was on edge, people were wary, just waiting for the end. It feels like that here. I think there will be bloodshed, violence between the two groups, they’re just waiting for that end.” she fussed at her dress, trying to further smoothen it out. She felt as restless as the city did, her limbs humming with energy, wanting to move, to do something.

“What is the difference between a Huegenot and a Catholic anyway? You told me that they pray to the same God and yet they clearly despise one another,” It was unusual enough that they had only one God, but that they prayed to the same God yet were still at such odds with each other was utterly puzzling to her.

“Very little really. Truthfully I’m not the best person to explain this, in my time religion was on the decline and I was never learned much about this time period.” he said, rubbing the back of his head.

“Oh, I see.” she said dazedly. He had already moved on from the sentence, staring at her expectantly. But she could not let something so enormous go.

She had known Steven didn’t really believe in Gods of any kind but she hadn’t known that it was widely common not to and she felt a sadness at that loss, that even Gods could be forgotten and abandoned. It had happened to her own but she had at least thought that there would be Gods of some kind, even in the future. What did it mean if everyone would one day believe in no Gods at all?

But that was the way of the world, they were just there to enact Fates plans and desires, cities and empires could be there one day and then swept away the next, forgotten as though they were nothing. Even Gods faded into memory and then stories and then nothing. Her city would be nothing, too.

“I’m sure the Doctor will explain it to us, once we find him that is.” he said, “I just hope he has a plan, I really don’t like how things are shaping up here.” he looked over at the sleeping Anne, his brow creased.

“Of course he will, we must trust in Fate, that it will lead us to where we’re supposed to be.” she said, the old, familiar words coming easily to her.

“You really still believe that? That Fate is inevitable, that we’re powerless, all that?” he said it almost dismissively. Her idea of Fate was somehow silly to him, as though he didn’t believe in a number of silly things himself.

“Well of course, why would the Doctor have been able to defeat the Daleks or save the Monoids if Fate had not willed it so?” she kept her voice steady as she reiterated the idea. Everything had its place in the winding rivers of Fate.

Fate was the one thing she felt that she could rely on in every new place that they explored. Magic may not have been real and there may have been lands and planets beyond Troy, and maybe most of what she had ever known was false, but Fate worked the same way in every location they went to, in every time. Even if what was Fated to happen was awful or tragic, there was a reason.

“No, the Doctor succeeded in those situations because of his own actions, because he is not a man to sit around and wait for things to happen.” he said somewhat irritably, pushing his hands against the floor.

“Yes but those actions were preordained.” she said.

“No, we can change things through our actions, no one has a role. Anyone can be a hero if they act as one. Without us the Daleks would have succeeded, the Monoids would still be slaves. It wasn’t fate that we landed there, it wasn’t fate that good would triumph over evil.” he said darkly, staring into the gloom of the shadows.

“That’s not how the universe works.” she said, sighing wearily.

“Really, enlighten me then, how does it work?” he shot back. She shrank back slightly from the harshness of his voice but still, she replied.

“There is an order to things. I was born to be a handmaiden and then to travel with you and the Doctor, that is my purpose in this world. Fate sets our paths when we are born and they can only be changed at a great cost.” she felt slightly sick when she thought of Sara and the price she paid, “If we go against that order, we go against the Gods, the world would fall into chaos.” she was saying it to herself as much as to Steven. Who would she be without it?

“Yes but what would be the point then? If everything was set out with no chance of changing it, what would be the point of doing anything?” he sighed and rubbed his face “Look, try and get some sleep. We’re not as trapped as you seem to think we are, yeah?” he said those last words softly and then lay down on the floor and turned away from her, knowing that they would talk themselves in circles if they continued.

Steven had put into words the thoughts had haunted her these past few months. Maybe Fate was not as fixed as it seemed. And that was terrifying. If it was not fixed, then they had control over events and their own lives. It meant that the Gods could be disobeyed. But as she had said, disobeying the will of the Gods meant that there would be chaos, the world would not make sense, people would not know how to act, how to be.

She did not know how to act, how to be.

A knot formed in her chest as she thought about what it would mean if Fate truly were changeable by mortals. The Doctor had brought her to such wonderous places but he had left her world in ruins in his wake. He had not meant to but it didn’t change the fact that he had put everything she had known into question and had revealed the true vastness of the world to her.

She was the one left to try and piece everything back together in the wake of all that she saw. She wished Sara were here, Sara who had also begun to piece her world back together, too, whose fate she may very have stolen. Or had it just been terrible luck and Katarina had stolen nothing at all?

As she stared at the wavering patterns from the firelight that shone in from the street made on the floor she could only ask herself that one question over and over: what did it mean if Fate could be changed by mortals with no consequence?

She quietly prayed to Tiwad that there would no violence on the streets of Paris.

…

When she stepped outside the sun still shone, for they were only three small people caught up in the tides of fate and the universe would not stop for them. But she still felt surprised to see somewhere so peaceful.

Steven sat on a nearby bench, shoulders hunched, as though he carried the weight of all those souls who had died in Paris. Those 10,000 were souls massacred because they did not worship their God in the correct way.

For once she didn’t feel soothed by the fact that all those people would find peace in the beyond. They were ordinary people, good people just trying to live their lives and honour their God. Their deaths made no sense at all, it made no sense that was their fate and though she knew that senselessness was all a part of fate, she was still aggrieved at its sheer cruelty.

She went over and sat beside Steven but said nothing, letting him take the time that he needed.

“Katarina I can’t do this anymore.” His voice was small and so, so weary when he finally did speak. She said nothing, waiting for him to continue.

“Everywhere we go there’s death and the Doctor he’s… how could he say that?” he sat up, his anger reinvigorating him slightly “he just stood by and let 10,000 people die! He saves so many, why not them? Why not Anne?” he ran his hands through his hair, heaving slightly.

“I do not know.” Her words felt so small compared to the breadth of his anger. She understood it, but her anger lay dormant in that moment for the injustice of death was one she had long since accepted.

She could understand why a God would accept so much death, they were not human, so death meant little to them. He wasn’t a God but nor was he a mortal like them, he had clearly been as aggrieved as they were. It was never up to one person, not even one as powerful as he clearly was. Mortal, God, or otherwise, they were all governed by Fate and often powerless to control the world around them.

She wasn’t sure this was something that they were ever supposed to understand because to understand it would leave you crushed by the grief from all that could not be changed.

“Yes, but…” he sighed wearily, “it doesn’t feel like we have the power to change anything at all. Not really. Bret, Sara, Anne, I couldn’t save any of them.”

It was not completely about France, it was about all the worst and the darkest of the universe that they had encountered. It weighed on her too, pressing down on her at certain moments, a reminder that that darkness existed and that it could not always be vanquished.

“Life is never fair. The Gods, Fate, can be cruel and it aggrieves me, too, but we just have to accept it.” she said, though she did not feel as certain about it as she once had.

Maybe the ideas and beliefs she had been raised with were wrong but she felt that it would have been almost worse to grow up with the belief that life was fair and that you had complete control over your fate. It was a lie. People died, cities fell, all at the behest of forces beyond their control and it must have felt so much worse if you believed that this was all done on the basis of fairness, that misfortune only befell the wicked and the cruel.

“That’s it? You’re accepting it, you’re agreeing with what he said?” he stood up, his voice full of fury. She stood up to face him, trying not to buckle under the weight of his anger.

“In this case, yes. That does not mean I do not grieve for them but I accept that we cannot save everyone. Do you not think that I don’t mourn my city? That I wish it had played out differently? It was far beyond my control.” Her voice was tight as she spoke, “we can’t possibly save everyone, every city, the world has to be balanced out by misfortune and tragedy, not everything is fair, as you like to believe. I wish it was and you and the Doctor have shown me that maybe more of it can be but if you always rage against it…” she had to accept Troy was gone otherwise she would be lost with her city, consumed by the grief.

But still she found that she couldn’t bring herself to say that Fate was completely inevitable and nothing could be changed, not now. Even in her head those words felt hollow. Here Steven was, exactly the same way she had been after Eulalia’s death.

Unlike her, he had always believed fate to be changeable, under the control of man. That was not always true. But she now realised that neither was the idea she had believed, that fate was completely fixed and not something to be interfered with by mortals.

Perhaps the course of Fate had been inevitable in France, but it dawned on her that it had felt so crushing because they had changed fate before. It was a reminder of the nature of fate that had been delivered in the cruellest way possible. Maybe… maybe Sara’s death wasn’t a price paid after all. If it had been, then why had she never paid for the changes before or since?

Before she got too lost in her thoughts and he walked away in disgust, she stood up and continued to speak.

“But fate is not as I thought. Perhaps sometimes we cannot change it, like in Troy or in France…” she said, going silent for a bit as she thought of her city “but you were right. We did change the fates of those in the solar system and the Monoids in the Ark. I have been coming to that conclusion for some time now, that Fate is something that can be changed, and it’s time that I faced it.”

She had thought she would feel worse when she said it out loud but all she felt was a calm sense of acceptance. As she looked at him, she knew exactly what she wanted to say to him.

“Do you remember what you said to me on the Spar, when we first set off for the Earth?” she said, holding his gaze. “You said to me “We can’t save everyone but we can do our best to save as many as we can.” Those words have remained with me these past few months. There are things we will always be powerless to change and the world will never be inherently fair, but I have realised that we are not as powerless as I thought.” She reached across to him and squeezed his hand.

“One of the most difficult things in life, I have found, is to accept that sometimes we are powerless. I have struggled with that every day since the death of my sister, Eulalia. Some days I am angry at the Gods, at Fate. But you and the Doctor showed me that Fate is not as fixed as I thought It was. I think the truth is somewhere in between. Some things are perhaps inevitable, but not everything is.” She was not just comforting Steven but admitting something big to herself.

“Maybe so,” he said, though his voice did not sound so heavy and bitter as it had before and he looked up at her slightly, his expression full of grief rather than anger.

“I think we have had a string of misfortune recently and it has been hard to bear, but I don’t believe that it will continue forever. But I understand why you rage so, these past few months have been so incredible but also so painful.” she said softly. The pain she felt was not just about France or Kembel or Anne or Sara. It went deeper than that.

She had gained the whole world but she had lost everything she had ever known, her family all dead or enslaved in far off lands in another time. Even the person she had been was lost to her forever, for she knew she could not return to who she had been before this journey. Steven could not return to who he had been before either and it was a difficult fact to make peace with.

“No, I hope it won’t,” he said, and it was as though he was beginning to slowly find his way out of the dark. “Can you stay here with me for a while? I’ll go back, I just need some time.” he said, gesturing to the bench.

She nodded and looked behind her. The TARDIS still stood there, ready for them to return once their heads had cleared. She was not quite ready to return either, she needed the crisp, cool air and the wide open sky above her while she grappled with her feelings. It was so rare she let herself feel everything all at once because the loss was so enormous.

They sat there on the bench in a sad but strangely peaceful silence, simply letting their thoughts meander as they watched the world go by. Though she was sad, she felt immensely grateful that she had Steven sitting there beside her and know that he was just there. Neither of them were quite alone with their thoughts and their burdens.

She wondered if the Gods were angry with her for coming to believe such things about fate. It may have been changeable, but they were still the ultimate authority over the universe, no matter what anyone said.

But she could not explain the universe any other way. If Fate was so fixed, then how had they succeeded against the Daleks? At nearly every turn they had been backed into a corner, death only a breath away until the Doctor saw a way out just in time. Time and again they had changed their own fate and the fate of others through their own actions. Sometimes what was right went against every rule she had ever known.

In some ways it was a wonderful realisation that she had power over her own life, that she could decide her own path. But it also scared her, to know that there was not an inherent order to the universe, that she herself could change her own path or the paths of others for the worse if she were not careful. It was a heavy burden to accept, one that she would have to make herself worthy of.

As she observed the people walking by with their bizarre clothing and hairdos, it filled her with peace to know that the world did not end with every terrible event that occurred. Life began anew, ready to accept them once they had healed from their pain. Troy was lost and she knew she would never fully accept it, but with the Doctor and Steven, and the world they had introduced to her, she had realised that there was a life to be had afterwards. She leaned her head on Steven’s shoulder, tears rolling down her face. Good tears, though. How strangely blessed she was.

“I think I’m ready to go back, are you?” he said to her as the light began to fade, his voice slightly hoarse after being silent for the past few hours.

“Yes, let’s go.” she got up and they went back to the TARDIS, far from whole and well but a little steadier than they had been.

When they entered the Doctor looked up and his features softened into an expression of relief and she was surprised to find that he looked so much less ancient when he looked at them like that.

“You came back, the both of you.” he said, his voice so quiet and so achingly vulnerable that it took her breath away. It stunned them into silence for a few moments, they had never seen him like this.

“I was never going to leave, not really, I just…” Steven looked down at his feet, sighing, trying to convey what words could not.

“We were never going to leave.” she shook her head.

“You two have stayed with me despite everything, despite what I did in Troy, on Kembel, in Paris…” his voice was quiet and though they had both returned, he still looked lost.

“There, it just felt like far too much. We see the most amazing things but also the most terrible things, too. It feels like the terrible has been outweighing the amazing recently.” Steven said.

The Doctor remained silent and the two glanced at each other, unsure of how to proceed.

“I try to help where I can,” the Doctor spoke after a time, “to save people and defeat evil, but it is not enough. I can never do enough.” he eventually said. He looked so weary and she felt her heart break for him. Did he truly think his efforts meant nothing? It was utterly strange to see him like this, to know that he felt as despairing and as lost as they did. All of them grieving, all of them equally lost after the events in Paris, all of them facing tragedies that had been hauled back to the surface.

“You save so many, but why not this time? You were in the heart of their plans, you could have lessened the impact or delayed it or just saved someone,” Steven had thrown his arms out in frustration as he spoke, though it was evident he had calmed somewhat sitting outside. But the anger and grief was still trying to settle within him, his accusations conveying the depth of his pain.

Katarina understood the Doctors words, they could not play with fate as though they were Gods. But she not only understood Steven’s pain but now she agreed with it, when she looked at the Doctor she could not help but wonder if there had been a way he could have changed the outcome of the events in Paris. Once, she could have accepted it without thinking at all, another tragedy to be endured.

It was easier when she thought she had understood fate as fixed, when you knew you could do nothing but live it. But now that she had seen it changed, had witnessed the beautiful and terrifying moment that fate was altered, she found herself seeing the universe anew, seeing herself anew. Fate did not happen to them and to see the Doctor let it happen to the people of Paris when he had the power to alter it…

She had seen the Doctor filled with mischief and delight, had seen him stoic and angry. But never so lost. It made her mortal to him, to see him having to deal with his mistake. She had understood that he was not a God but until now she had never really believed it.

“No, no, you’re right…” he paused, searching for the words he needed “But we cannot exercise that much power over time, in some situations it is not for me to decide, some events must happen. I am very afraid of what I would become if I did not exercise that control. Sometimes that means I hesitate, even when I should not.” The Doctor shook his head with weariness.

The Doctor may have claimed not to believe in fate, but from the way he spoke, it sounded as though he believed there was something that limited his actions. There was a force and it was there, and they came up against it time and time again. It wasn’t for any of them to understand and she suddenly saw how they must look, three insignificant mortals trying to understand something that defies understanding. How could they not be left bruised and scarred by it?

“I am not sure if there is an answer.” she said quietly “I am still trying to understand the universe you have shown me and I’m not sure I ever will. I said to Steven, out there, that fate is not as I understood it. Maybe we can change it and maybe you could have in Paris.”

She gripped the console, only managing not to lose her nerve because of the gentle presence of the TARDIS pressing up against her mind, urging her on, as though telling her that the Doctor needed to hear this from them both.

The Doctor nodded sombrely. For a while the only sound was the reassuring hum of the TARDIS. Eventually he looked up at them, not quite as lost-looking but there was a vulnerability that was hard to look at.

“I promise you both, that I try.” The Doctor said, his voice quiet, “I always try to do what is right. I do not always succeed, but I like to believe that I try.” After that silence fell once again,

“I think I understand” whispered Steven, breaking the silence. It was not quite forgiveness but there was a slight softening. It would take time, even she felt uneasy, but the room felt a little less brittle.

“It is unfortunate that you should have to understand, these are not decisions that weigh lightly on the soul.” The Doctor shook his head and Katarina realised how little she knew of him, in some ways. What had he had to do that gave him such terrible wisdom? They went quiet but it was a peaceful silence, one that gave their emotions room to breathe.

They remained in the console room, none of them wanting to be alone with their grief. She believed that he tried, the Doctor. For as changeable as fate was, it was still ultimately far beyond their control. Maybe he would not always make the right choices and she would have to accept that he was as mortal as she was, in some ways.

As they stood there, quietly united, she realised that there were no other people in the universe that she would rather share her burdens with.

Chapter Text

Katarina ducked, the blade that sailed by her head only just missing her as it sliced through the air with a terrifying speed. She felt the whooshes of air tickle her back, only barely missing her no matter how fast she dived out of danger. It was only by the skin of her teeth that she was able to keep ahead, keep safe, in this sick game. This game, this game, this series of games.

So far every game seemed to be some twisted version of a children’s game, most of them unfamiliar to her in format but each one clearly warped from something wholesome to something barbaric. Game after game, where the prize was permission to continue living.

The game she was currently playing was another one she had never heard of, Oranges and Lemons. The rules of the game involved running under an arch formed by the raised arms of two rows of players while they sang a strange, lilting song. It was akin to making one's way through a low door.

Upon completing the last line, the dolls brought down the knives they held in a frightening grip.

It was what she deserved, she supposed, for cheating death and changing her own Fate. Even so far away from Earth, the Gods had found her, an insignificant handmaiden who had thought herself saved, and they were punishing her for her hubris. Fate was changeable, yes, but how she had even considered the idea there were no consequences for her changing her own fate was pure arrogance on her part. As ever, she was split between the one part that insisted upon her getting her just desserts, and that other part.

So, she played, but with any real hope of winning. Still, she sagged in relief at every little victory. She rushed out of the tunnel of arms, and another doll lying seemingly lifeless. But it arose, its legs moving in stiff, awkward steps, as though it pained it to walk. Its visage was human, or at least an uncanny imitation. Even the dull emotions she felt emanating from them, muted and suppressed though they were, was some twisted mockery of those of a human.

The punishment was not for her to understand, none of this was for her to understand. But that other part of her, that dangerous part of her that wondered had been allowed to grow on her travels, howled against the notion of surrender. That part of her, assuming whatever control it could, tried desperately to win because that part of her, frightened though it was, did not believe she deserved it. But under the watch of this God, that other part of her was shrinking. It seemed the order of the world was returning once more. She briefly wondered if this was what it had been like for her family trying to run from the Greek soldiers and their blades, before casting it from her mind.

The doll she had seen rise joined the long row of other unfortunate dolls and held its arms up, stretching out the terrifyingly long arch even further. There was only one more round left for her and her competitor, another doll, to brace. The dolls seemed impervious to the cut of the blades.

Katarina did not want to find out what would happen to her should she get struck by one.

The rhyme began once more, and the final doll went first. No difficulty, and now, Katarina knew it was her turn. A breath, a deep breath, and go.

She roared through the arch fuelled by panic, and before she knew it the dolls reached the end of their rhyme. With some deep, uncontrollable urge to survive, she flew. As she felt the blades just miss her, she dove across, fighting for the impossible fractions of seconds spoken of only by philosophers divining obscure numbers. The end of the tunnel got nearer and with one last push she nearly leapt at the opening.

She gasped, nearly tripping over with the force of her sudden stop. She had made it out, the other doll lying motionless within the tunnel. For a few seconds the only sound she heard was her heaving breaths and her heartbeat booming in her ears. The dolls suddenly snapped to attention, arms falling, as though forced into a ramrod straight position by some unseen hand. The game was over, another round survived.

The arena fell away and the true nature of the Gods’ realm revealed itself once more. Above her and below her darkness stretched out, so absolute with no stars or light of any kind. Every step felt as though she was stepping on air, with each step she was sure she would plunge, down, down, down.

“Oh well done! That was quite the game you played! So swift-footed, I think the stakes rather added to your performance” the voice of her punisher boomed. He materialized beside her and she quickly dipped her head.

“Thank you, my Lord.” she whispered, not daring to look the God in the eye, It was hard to even look at his robes, the way they shifted colour, as though it were the sea catching the sun, made her head ache.

He called himself the Toymaker and so far she could not tell which God wore this guise. She felt the swish of robes beside her and stiffened. When she had first seen him after being taken from the TARDIS she had felt a fearful kind of awe upon seeing him. She had never been so near to the divine; the Gods had dwelled far outside the city, only sometimes being summoned to the temples. Places like that were not places for the likes of her.

“I’m glad you are enjoying the games!” he clapped in delight. She did not know which God had taken it upon themself to punish her, this one bore no resemblance to any story she had ever heard.

“Of course, my Lord” she did not sound convincing.

However, it mattered little, as the Toymaker laugh, and in spite of her still heavy breathing and evident fear, he cackled, and crowed “I cannot fail to reward enthusiasm; it seems you yearn for more games, and so more games I can arrange!” the disconnect was unnerving, her tiny human emotions so distant from anything he could possibly understand.

“My lord, have you deemed my soul worthy?” she pleaded. Surely, after four trials, he must have some idea of whether she had repented enough. Or if she even could repent. He had made the rules of his games clear but was coy on how many she needed to win if she were to truly repent.

“Your soul?” he said, his brow wrinkling.

“I do not mean any offence, I only wish for clarity. Have I proven my soul worthy? Or is my soul condemned to never find peace?” she asked, her voice approaching the pitches brought on by tears.

“Ah but why do you want the fun to end? That would be a terrible shame!” he cupped her face and made her look up at him “No, no my dear, there’s still so much fun we can have!” he dropped her face abruptly, her neck twanging with pain from the sudden movement.

Fun? That did not make any sense. This was supposed to be her punishment. The Gods partook in… other activities for fun. They would eventually get bored of such a perpetual punishment. Questions had been building up in the back of her mind, pushing and gnawing away at her like a pack of hungry dogs.

How many games would there be? Beyond winning, there seemed to be no further objectives, just an endless cycle of games. A punishment set out by the Gods was always clear in its nature, but she could not understand the Toymaker. But the Gods were strange beings.

“I will say, you’re so much more amenable than your friends, getting them to play their games has been most tedious.” he said. “Had that Doctor not had such a useful machine, then perhaps… but all the same, the challenge makes it all the more fun!”

“My friends?” she felt a sharp pain in her chest, they should not be here, this was her punishment-

“Please, my lord,” she got down on her knees, the colours of his robe stabbing like pins in the corner of her vision, “they were not the ones who deviated from their Fates, it was all me. I accept my punishment but please, my friends did not wrong the Gods!”

She tried to remember if she had seen them being taken by the Toymaker, too.

They had been in the console room, the Doctor explaining something about the time they had just left, the TARDIS humming softly in the background.

She felt herself falling, falling into a starless void…

She had watched them disappear, but they had not fallen so she had thought they were safe…

“Oh but what would be the fun of that?” he clapped his hands in delight, “Whether you have wronged me, or whatever impression you seem to be under, is irrelevant; your friends are elsewhere in my realm, yet not here. You will all keep playing my games, there’s no time for any of you to reflect so to speak, too many games to play.” his smile grew wider and wider as he spoke, and much like his dolls, it was as though he was trying and just about failing to mimic a human smile.

What…

Oh, the Gods could be cruel, Katarina knew this. Sometimes they did toy with humans for their own amusement, she was not naïve. But the Gods were not evil, the Gods were the Gods, somewhere between a force of nature and sentient being, flawed and capable of the greatest deeds and the worst cruelties. To say a God was evil would be to say a storm was evil, or a plague was evil. It was a logic that did not apply, it was a term that simply could not apply to the will of something so beyond any human understanding. No God could be fairly described as evil.

This God was evil.

“I will see you at the next game, I think you shall find it to be most fun!”

With that, the Toymaker vanished and with it she was left with an ever-mounting dread. The dolls, suddenly moving again, gripped her arms and jerked her up, but the momentum of it sent her leg right into one of the knives lying on the ground. She felt nothing. Looking down, her skin was smooth, as though she had not just sliced it against a knife.

The wrongness of her unblemished skin made her recoil. It was as though she was becoming a part of this realm, already halfway to death. As she was marched away she was unable to look away from her leg, the strange song ringing in her head.

…

Her adventures had made her become more at ease with danger, as she was escorted to the next game she only felt a dull wariness. The dolls plucked her up by the arms with the awkward grip of thumbs and forefingers, akin to someone who had only ever seen images of someone holding onto another person.

The rest of the funfair was a nightmarish marvel. There had been fairs in Troy, before the war. Those fairs were some of her best memories. Sun blazing overhead, market stalls full of wares from distant cities, dancers and storytellers, games where the stakes were merely glory amongst her siblings.

She remembered clinging to her parents' hands, the excitement of all those crowds. Then the thrill of being old enough to go off with her siblings for a few precious hours. At those fairs, she had briefly stepped into a different world where the sun was brighter and every sight took on a layer of enchantment. She ached for it all, those golden days.

There was no sunlight and no crowds here, only those garish electrical bulbs buzzing in the back of her skull. In some ways the wrongness of the fair was only evident when she looked more closely. Little details; the stalls seemed to repeat, the same signs repeating every few rows. Above the stalls loomed strange metal contraptions with all sorts of sharp edges, flanked with cheerful, brightly painted signs. Glimpsing behind the veneer in those brief flashes coalesced into a dread that felt like a physical weight.

The total darkness heightened the sinister quality of the silent fair, the lights sharper and more piercing and her steps over nothingness nausea-inducing. It was all she could do not to squeeze her eyes shut against it all.

The dolls came to an abrupt stop in the middle of a row of stalls. For a few seconds she panicked, for there was no arena, and she feared it meant she was about to receive her final judgement. The Toymaker appeared once more in a burst of colour which made her head burst with pain.

“Ah, you’ve arrived, I was worried you wouldn’t make it.” he laughed, but the resounding silence of his dolls made the laughter sound eerie, “Our next game, hide and seek!” he boomed. She felt an odd mixture of relief and fear, she was familiar with this game, at least.

“I assume you know hide and seek, yes?’ he arched an eyebrow and she nodded, looking around the arena. Not overly large or expansive, but she could see one or two potential spots to conceal herself.

“Hm, seems as though your civilisation isn’t entirely devoid of culture.” he said dismissively, and she was left confused. Wouldn’t he know of her civilisation? Or did it matter that little to the Gods? Her unease only grew, something was very wrong.

“Well, this game has a special twist. You can only hide in a place where there’s a heart marking it, any place without such a marking is out of bounds. And if you see another contestant you must head one hundred paces in the opposite direction.” he did not need to remind her of the price she would pay for losing.

The Toymaker was practically humming with glee, and she wondered if what she took earlier for a divine radiance was just his excitement at her unease.

It was clear. The game would be near impossible to win, not in such a confined area. There may have been some spots in an ordinary game, but this… even compared to his other games, the rules were incredibly restrictive.

“But those rules-“

“Are the rules. Those who cheat will be subject to punishment.” His cheerful veneer dropped and she was reminded just who she was speaking to. Her head dropped, cheeks burning.

“Apologies, my lord.” But her words did not feel quite sincere. Rage crawled up her throat, a physical force she had to hold back. But she had accepted stuff like that before, had she forgotten that all actions have consequences? What would her mama think, her mama who had told her that they must ultimately accept the Gods cruelties and blessings without question?

But there was no time to dwell on who she had become, for the game was about to begin.

…

There was nowhere to hide, at least not by the rules set by the Toymaker. For one, every nook she could find was essentially out of the bounds. Whenever she sighted a place with heart markings, a doll was always lurking nearby, forcing her to begin her search anew.

She ran up and down alleys of stalls, always coming upon the boundaries of the arena abruptly. She had turned so many corners she no longer knew where she had previously searched for a hiding place. It was getting harder and harder to keep calm enough to even spot a hiding place.

The rules of every game had been getting harder and harder to abide by, with an easy path to winning lying just outside the rules. And the Toymaker made it clear what happened to those who strayed from his rules.

The ringing voice of the doll kept counting down, she had so little time left and she knew there was no way for her to win. Never had she felt so utterly without hope. Every other time she had come close to death, the Doctor and Steven had been there, but they were lost to her and she could see no way out.

She felt about ready to cry, the garish noises and the wrongness pressed in on top of her, melding together into one howl of noise and light. She tried not to scream, but she wanted to, about the light and noise, about her city, about this punishment.

For months she had pushed back against the will of the Gods by her heart merely beating, after all, why would her city have been destroyed if they had not willed it so? She could mourn and rage but she had to accept it, she had to accept their will.

The death of her siblings, the destruction of her city had made no sense to her but she had accepted it. What was so different about these rules? She had accepted senseless decisions and acts for her whole life. So why could she not let go of her rage?

Pushing back was why she was being punished, to hold on to such emotions only ever led to despair and ruin. Her mama had realised that. She would have been destroyed if she questioned the reason for Eulalia’s death. There was a reason there was an order, if they did not have it to follow, the world would be thrown into chaos. But she had followed all the rules, had always been obedient, yet her world had still been thrown into chaos.

But the Doctor and Steven had not been fated to die, they followed their fates by defeating those who would seek to cause harm and perpetuate evil. Though in Paris, Steven had argued that none of it was fated and that each victory was because of their choices and not some unseen force.

Could that be so, given all this?

Maybe there was. Maybe they were all receiving their just punishments. But even if they had broken the rules, she realised she did not want them subjected to this. And before, her wants would not have mattered, it was their fates to suffer. But she had left that world behind and in a universe with infinite lands she found that she could not keep her beliefs intact. In that moment, it was her belief that going against this God felt right.

She took a deep breath and stepped out beyond the marked boundary. Nothing happened to her. She began walking down the backs of the stalls, her only aim being to put some distance between her and the Toymakers dolls.

The backs of the stalls were eerily blank, with no details of any kind, only a smooth grey surface, as though no one had bothered to create the backs at all. She kept her eye on the giant metal train track as a guide, for she surely would have gotten lost otherwise. She turned down an alleyway, only to be greeted by a doll standing ramrod straight against one of the stalls.

The doll looked at her and her heart began to hammer. Would she be fast enough if she ran? The doll advanced, its face blank.

They stared at each other and Katarina thought she saw its…

No…

Katarina could swear, as she looked across at the doll and felt some odd kinship swelled within her, she saw her eyes water. They held each other’s gaze and she thought she sensed a desperation, a terrible pain, but the moment passed. The doll turned sharply, as though pushing against some massive force and began to move jerkily away.

After a few moments, she began to run, not daring to stop or look back. Ahead was the gate to the elevated train track, a sign beside reading what she was pretty sure was ‘roller-coaster’. The ‘roller-coaster’ must contain a way out, there was no other way out as far as she could tell. She ran and ran, the track getting closer and closer. After what seemed like an age, the stalls petered out and she was left in front of a fence. Beyond it lay the elevated train tracks.

She jumped up, grabbing the top of the fence and swung her legs over. As soon as she made it over, she ran further into the enclosure. The noise of the carnival faded, her ears ringing from the assault of noise she had been subjected to. She glanced behind her and waited for several long beats, but nothing followed her. For the time being, she was safe.

The eerie dark was almost better than the overwhelming array of lights and sounds, though she tried her best not to look down because it felt dizzying to remember she was walking on nothingness. Instead, she looked up, keeping the elevated train track in her sight as an anchor of sorts.

She walked quickly for several minutes until she hit... something. Her legs moved, but she was walking on the spot. Raising her hand, she met an invisible barrier of some sort. She put her hand up to her mouth to stifle a sob. How had she ever thought there was a way to defy such a creature? Her, a mere handmaiden?

How blasphemous to think she could defy fate and disobey the will of the Gods. All she could do was wait for the dolls to find her and deliver her to the Toymaker for punishment.

But as she went over to a pole to lean against it, she noticed something about it. There was no ladder, but there were grooves going up at an even interval, grooves big enough for her feet. And it was unlikely the Toymaker would think anyone would be daring enough to try and scale it. Therefore, there was a chance that there would be no barrier.

She stood, her breathing ragged. Was she truly about to do this? She had always accepted the Gods’ will, even when it was hard and painful, even when she did not agree with it. Surely this was what she deserved, had she been arrogant to ever think she had a say in it?

But even if it was wrong, she was at peace with defying the will of the Gods this time. If saving her friends was the wrong thing to do in their eyes, then so be it.

She began to climb, focusing on the Doctor and Steven. Her arms were burning by the time she reached the tracks. Further down was a platform of some sorts, presumably where the mysterious cart stopped for passengers. Not that there were any there. The tracks led to nowhere so it was hardly surprising. The walk to the platform itself was precarious, the rails were thin, but she made it.

And just in time, too, for as soon as she stepped on she felt the rumble of the cart racing towards the platform. Her stomach dropped when it showed no sign of slowing to a stop. She had no choice, before she could stop and think she ran and leapt into it.

She just about grabbed the bars in time before the cart plunged downwards suddenly, she could not even scream because the air stole the breath from her lungs, she was in the darkness, she couldn’t breathe-

But even as her heart hammered wildly in her chest, she was alive; she was not drowning in nothingness, she was fine. At least for another minute or so, until she did perhaps the most foolish thing she had ever done in her life.

She looked out at the funfair she had been trapped in, watching it as it rushed by, the cart past the boundaries of her prison, taking her with it. She laughed slightly, partially from the escape and partially from the speed at which she went. With the speed the cart was hurtling along at, she had little time. Ahead was a sharp climb, if she were to attempt what she was about to attempt, she had to do it now.

She stood up, clinging to the metal bar at the front of the cart. Down below there were seemingly random flecks of colour, strange objects littered across the darkness as though thrown there by a careless child.

“Runtiya, if you are here beyond the universe, if you still listen, protect me, please.” she whispered to the void, and then she hurled herself into the darkness.

Chapter Text

Her fall gradually began to slow, as though some force was easing her down and then she simply stopped. Putting her hands out she pushed herself up, once again standing on nothingness.

If the funfair had been unsettling, the world beyond was outright wrong. Toys overlapped, two objects sharing the one area, pieces of each object protruding as though they were trying to wrench themselves apart and other toys appeared to fade into the air, starting off bright and solid but becoming fainter and fainter until they merged with the blackness of the void.

She pushed her hand through the mist, feeling the edges of a strange block, textured in the dark space between senses she could comprehend. She knew liquid, she knew solid, but this… the wrongness, the wrongness. There was something about it that chilled her bones, something that went beyond the foreign or even the divine and into the alien. She shuddered, pulling her hand out, but still that feeling of wrongness permeated her.

It felt like nothingness, she realised. That was the true wrongness lurking beneath the black void. The Gods could surely not exist in such a place? They were life and death, they were the forces that governed the world, or at least gave them form. They were the antithesis of nothing. She was well beyond the domain of her Gods now; this was a domain beyond, the domain of whatever kind of God the Toymaker was.

On her travels she had wondered about the presence of the Gods beyond Earth, whether they remained bound to the Earth or if they could manifest themselves across the universe. Never had she believed that she had been completely beyond their reach. She had come up against the edge of creation and stared at it as if that were the sort of thing a mortal girl was meant to do. Had she so angered them that they exiled her from their world?

And beyond that, Earth! All of time and space, all the mysteries and riddles, unveiled with a cool, whispered clarity, at once as clinically exact as any mundanity yet, as it turned out, every bit as cruel as any childhood fear.

And now she had to navigate through the worst of it, alone.

Despite the feeling of dread that had settled like an anchor, she needed to put distance between her and the Toymaker, so she kept walking. The Doctor and Steven had not been there and the Toymaker had kept appearing and disappearing, surely he must have been with the Doctor and Steven during those absences. But where?

Then, she heard a voice, it was faint and hollow as though it were echoing in a cavern, but she knew it even then.

“All these lives…” it was the Doctor, it was him, out in the depths of the void. She began to laugh in relief.

“Doctor!” Katarina yelled out, but she was greeted with silence. She waited, but she did not hear his voice again. Something must have been preventing him from calling out. She walked in the direction she had heard his voice, her heart pounding.

As she went on, more voices began to speak from the darkness, fragments of pleas, giggles. It should have been a relief to know she was not the only living being there but the warped quality of the voices put her on edge.

But she never encountered another person. There were so many voices, all overlapping, building up into a terrifying chorus. She tugged at her dress, trying to focus on the pulling sensation.

Were the voices those of spirits? She was not dead, her heart thumped steadily, but that did not mean there weren’t spirits afoot.

“Believe me, I can be very patient…” The Doctor’s voice again, rising above all the others. She broke into a run, wanting to try and catch his voice. He could not be a spirit, not the Doctor.

She ran and ran, and as she plunged through the dark the sights in the void grew stranger and more warped. The very structure of things broke down more around the further she ran until they seemed to stretch around the edges of her vision. The toys were vague shapes this far out, random pieces hovered above and below her. But there was no sign of the Doctor among all the broken toys.

She stopped, panting. It was no use simply running. She needed to have a plan to track down the Doctor. She surveyed her surroundings. To her left was a house, its rooms exposed, as though a giant had sliced off the wall. It was completely abandoned, it was as though the house had been frozen in time, paused in the middle of daily life. Perhaps she could regroup there, come up with a plan to actually find him.

She stepped into the enormous house, simply stepping up into the living room. It made her feel like an intruder. Upon a first glance the house was what she had come to recognise as a house from early 20th century Britain. But again, the uncanniness lay in the details, or rather the lack of details. Everything was too simple, all of the ornaments lacked detail, as though the craftsman had gotten bored halfway through and simply left, satisfied with this façade of a house. She left the sitting room and found herself in a narrow hall.

She opened the door opposite to the one she had just come out of and was met with darkness. Beyond the house disappeared, melting into the darkness. She shut it, heart thudding.

She went back into the sitting room and sat down. What did she have to do to find the Doctor and Steven? She had escaped the Toymaker but how could she stand against a God?

Behind her something rattled. She turned, expecting the Toymaker to have materialised behind her, But the room was empty, everything undisturbed. She gripped the back of the sofa, sighing. It was safe, she had not been followed, but that was little comfort, as her body was still on edge.

Then she heard another rattling noise, the sound of furniture moving. She turned to see a drawer fly out of the cabinet against the wall. She leapt aside as it hit the wall and fell to the floor. As if it had signalled the furniture, the room suddenly became a whirlwind of flying objects. , and one shelf hurtled straight towards her head.

She screamed and ducked, covering her head. After just about avoiding decapitation, she hid behind a low table, hoping to wait out the buildings tantrum. But the furniture was riled and showed no signs of calming down; it was relentless, launching itself around the room and even out of building in pursuit after she managed to make a run for it. It seemed as though the furniture knew exactly where to find her, hitting the unseen ground of the void only to immediately launch once again.

She was backed up against the exposed hallway and hoisted herself up to avoid a lamp that had flung itself at her feet. She opened the nearest door, gripping it like a shield.

However, the objects seemed to sense the door and flew around it, she was pinned against the endless dark that lay beyond the door, she ducked, praying the onslaught would end quickly.

But the object sailed overhead and never landed. It vanished into the dark. She stood up and leapt out of the way of more objects. They vanished into the dark, none of them returning.

She stood in front of the door, ducking and dodging until all the furniture had launched itself into… well, she did not know where, but it was no longer there and she was happy enough with that.

She leaned against the wall, panting, and cradling her left arm which had been thwacked by a vase. The strange house was not safe, she would have to keep moving unless she wanted the Toymaker to find her and so she set off again.

She could only wander further in. If she turned back she would be surrendering herself to the Toymaker, and that was not an option.

Out this far all that remained of the objects was colour, as though paint had been smeared onto the air itself. When touched an object that she thought would feel solid to the touch felt like liquid and she pulled away her hand, expecting it to smeared with streaks of paint, only for her hand to remain clean and dry. It made her feel ill, for objects simply could not exist like that. It went against everything she knew about how objects worked. Then again, that was nothing unusual given what she had seen in recent weeks.

She was suddenly very tired of having to understand so many new things. All she wanted was to be somewhere that made sense, where she knew exactly how things worked and the rules they operated by.

“I understand, so that’s the nature of his reality…”

It was his voice, it was the Doctor. It did not sound any clearer than it had before, but after hearing nothing for so long, she felt as though she could run across the world towards it. She started running, she went as fast as she possibly could, she had come so far, he had to be near.

“Doctor!” she screamed into the dark, “Please! Where are you?!”

Nothing.

In the distance she saw figures. Could they be the source of the other voices, she wondered, she hoped. However, as she got closer, she could make out their features, and her heart fell.

They were dolls. All of them. An endless row of dolls blocked her way. She froze, there was no escape. But they made no move towards her. They stood, unblinking, hands linked. It was as though they did not even realise she was there.

There was nothing out here, nothing but the row of dolls. She could not even see what lay beyond them. She backed away, afraid that if she were to turn her back they would start moving.

There was no way forward that she could see, the row of dolls stretched as far as she could see in both directions. All she could do was go back the way she had come.

It was futile, she realised. She could keep trying to evade him but there was no way out and eventually he would find her. To try and beat him was like trying to prevent the sun from rising.

She sank down to her knees and hunched over. Sobs shook her body, the hopelessness of her situation taking over her body, rooting her to the spot. She was beyond her Gods, and the ultimate power in this world lay in the hands of a being who used her and her friends for his own entertainment. The burst of hope that had made her climb up onto the train tracks finally faded into nothingness.

This was where she had always been heading, whether fire or an endless void, the rage that had been stoked within her had died in the face of the army of dolls. Cast beyond her world for her arrogance and into the hands of a being who thought only of his own pleasure, it was a less direct punishment, but a punishment nevertheless.

But the worst thing was that she could not quite regret everything and even if she was punished for an eternity, she was not sure she would ever regret it. How could she regret all that she had seen, how could she regret the Doctor and Steven?

It only made her sob harder, knowing her own selfishness and her own weakness that allowed her to give in to it. She had always prided herself on being obedient and strong, able to accept her fate. But her travels had thrown those beliefs into disarray, even now she could not quite accept those beliefs as she once had.

The sobs subsided but a deep, leaden sadness had settled itself within her, pinning her to where she was crouched. She looked around the void, the emptiness making her feel so small. The dolls made no move, but they did not have to. They would claim her, eventually, there was nowhere to run.

But that did not stop her from getting up. It wasn’t a conscious move, her legs simply moved. It was why everyone had run in Troy, she realised. They had all known there would be no escape but the body wanted to survive, it was all it knew how to do even when death was certain.

She let her body lead her away, it was easier than actually having to think or fight. All that was left was relief, the same relief she had felt when Troy had burned. Finally she would be able to rest soon, to not have to grieve or try to live in a world without her city. Already she felt slightly freer, as though she was drifting above everything.

Something tugged on her mind. It was brief, so brief that she wondered if she had imagined it. But it was enough to drag her back to herself. She looked around the void, but the only unusual thing she spotted were two dolls.

The dolls lay quite a distance away from the row of standing dolls among scattered, fading blocks. It was as though they had been carelessly tossed there, thrown away by a bored child. Her curiosity drew her over and she followed it, for it had become used to being satiated.

They lay rigid, eyes unblinking. One was a girl in a billowy white dress and the other was a boy in an understated blue tunic. Up close, they did not look creepy. Rather, they made her feel a deep aching sadness, these abandoned dolls. They had been forgotten, their limbs twisted carelessly. Forgetting was a physical thing in this realm, the abandoned dolls in danger of fading from the world.

In the back of her mind she felt something pressing in on it. It was sadness but it was not her own, this sadness was muted and old, something that had settled long ago. She looked around, but she could not see any signs of life apart from herself. Her eyes were drawn to the dolls, the motionless dolls. She crouched beside them, and tentatively laid her hand on the arm of the girl doll.

She sensed the sadness again. She had not imagined that burst of pain coming from within the doll who had let her flee the fairground. Something or someone had been trapped deep inside that doll and for a brief moment it had freed itself to let her run.

Did all the dolls have someone trapped within? The strength of their emotions began to build and she jolted back, as though slammed by a physical force. She had never been able to feel the emotions of another this vividly, as, sure as she had ever felt any truth, she felt the terror and despair of the dolls coursed through her, a howl of their need to be free.

She stifled a sob and squeezed her eyes shut against the onslaught. It was too much for her to bear. All those people, trapped and alone in this nightmarish realm, not even in possession of their own bodies. Within the storm of emotions she was experiencing, she felt her own rage burst into life. The rage that made her brave enough to act, and crushed any fear she had that would have the nerve to stop her. Maybe she could not change her fate, but she could not watch passively as others suffered, the rage would not let her.

Could she help them? She took a deep breath and focused on the dolls, opening up her mind to let their emotions in, not allowing them to crush her but inviting them in as though they were guests in her home.

In the world she normally dwelled in, she could only sense people’s emotions, they would brush against her mind. But she could feel them viscerally, cutting through to her core like a knife. When she tried to push back she felt a response, a plea not to push them away entirely.

‘Help.’

One tiny word. That had never happened before. She gasped, because she felt what another being’s mind, she could feel its boundless depths, the worlds that existed within. It was far away from her but it was reaching.

“I will,” she said, “just keep… talking with me.”

Slowly she coaxed them out, using her own emotions as a tether. They pulled on her emotions and it hurt, the pain pressing in on her own. But when she shied away from it, their minds slipped further away, as though retreating deep into the dolls. So she let in their pain and hoped that they could sense that she was trying to understand it.

Their presences began to become more solid, as though she were drawing them back into the world. She gripped the hand of the smaller doll, whose mind felt so heartbreakingly young.

“It’s all right, I promise, I’m not with the Toymaker. I have two friends, friends who can help you.” Katarina repeated. She thought of the Doctor and Steven and their daring acts of heroism. The presences inside the doll responded and the only way she could describe it was that they drew nearer and the nearer the minds drew the vaster they seemed to become, the full expanse revealing itself.

Then, she felt her mind pushed back and for a terrifying moment she thought she had failed. But the dolls were transforming, their limbs relaxed, their skin regaining colour, their figures shrinking. When it was done, there were two children, a boy maybe just a bit younger than her and a little girl who was no older than ten years.

They stared at their hands and then they saw each other and hugged, clinging tightly.

“Thank you.” the boy turned to her, “I never thought… How did you even free us?”

The girl was looking at her arms in awe, moving them this way and that.

“I can move again!” she bounced on her feet, swinging her arms around, making up for lost time. Katarina could only hope it was not years and years she had lost.

“I don’t know how I…” Katarina shook her head “but are you both alright?”

“Yes, I think so.” He said, nodding. Neither of them looked physically hurt, and both were walking and moving with ease, like any normal person.

But it was easy to see that all was not well with them, the girl was pensive, as though she had not fully returned from wherever she had been. Her brother's smile was strained and all his attention was on her, as though he was afraid she would disappear.

“I think you came just in time, I was afraid we were going to start fading. Whenever I was half-aware, I’d see how everything was fading…” he whispered to her, shuddering. He looked at the ground for a moment, his brow creased in worry.

“What’s your names?” Katarina asked, easing them back into personhood. Still uneasy, the brother spoke while pointing at himself “Tobias, and this is my sister, Lilian.”

“How did you get here?” Katarina asked, trying to puzzle out what place and time the pair had come from.

“We are at the travelling fair, in Salcombe, that’s in England. There was a tent in the corner, the material was all shiny, even though the sun was shining I could tell it was glowing… we had to see what lay inside such a tent. Inside… it was like there was a hole in the air, and then, the world just disappeared and we were surrounded by darkness and the only thing in the darkness was him. The Toymaker...”

Tobias paused, clearly drained from recalling the surely terrifying encounter that had seen them become entrapped for time immemorial, and hugged his sister close. Lilian looked down, her face closed off, her body barely containing her fear.

“We had to play his games but we lost one.” he swallowed, before taking a deep breath and continuing “He told us we could run but that every path would lead us back to him. Then we became his dolls and we had to play his games and watch him trap others and eventually he got…” he swallowed “bored. He discarded us like we were nothing, out here, to… well, who knows what.” he glanced at Lilian, and she knew that even after all the horrors they had experienced, he was still trying to protect his little sister. Her heart broke to see how hard he still fought for her.

Katarina nodded “I’m so sorry… You are free now, I’ll do all I can do make sure you remain so.” Her promise meant nothing, she had no way of protecting them, only delay the inevitable.

“I think we’re safe for now, he never comes out here. We’ve seen other dolls get dumped out here but he never does it himself.” he said.

Their movements were stiff, at first. They had not shaken off the rust of being imprisoned, but they were making rapid progress in rediscovering the flexibility and freedom of their limbs. As they moved about, swinging their arms, their motions regained fluidity. It was remarkable, to see them return to their bodies, she was slightly entranced by their movements, but she did not let it completely distract her.

“I am sorry to have to ask, but what do you know about the nature of this realm. You do not have to talk about your time as dolls… but is there anything you have learned, anything we could use?”

Katarina winced even as she said the words. She wished she did not have to ask, but their lives were on the line. Thankfully Tobias seemed to understand that this was so she could aid him and his sister.

The most important pieces of information were about the strange effects at the edge of the realm. Tobias explained that the outer edges of the realm seemed to be where creations of the Toymaker were abandoned. He whispered to her that any creations left out at the edges for long enough would begin to fade into non-existence.

“The strange thing is... he never ventures out there, out of here.” Tobias whispered. “We only saw him once or twice out at the edges…”

He paused, before adding “When he was out there he seemed nervous, he was never there long either, always glancing out into the distance like something was waiting for him in the dark.” The Toymaker feared the edges of his own realm, what lay out there that such a being felt fear?

“And there’s the voices and stuff.” Lilian said, speaking for the first time. “I could always hear voices even when there was no one around, and then sometimes I’d see stuff way out there, shimmering like when an explorer describes a desert mirage.”

“You’re right, I always heard cries and pleas, they always came out from beyond the edges.” Tobias said, shuddering slightly.

“We must go further into the edges, I’m afraid.” Katarina said it hesitantly, wishing she did not have to force them to accompany her into such a place “There must be a reason he refuses to venture out there. And if I keep hearing the Doctors voice, he must be out there, somewhere.”

These children needed to be returned home and she could do something about it. No matter what her fate was, no matter what she supposed to do, she knew what she had to do. So if she was to be punished, she would not wait for it, it could come to her.

“We’ll get you home, my friend, the Doctor. He has faced down beings like the Toymaker before, he will know what to do.” she said and she was surprised at how sure she felt. In deciding to set herself against the Gods, she was once again in freefall, untethered from the world. And with that untethering came the peace that came with the certainty of knowing her purpose, of the actions she must take.

“A doctor? Doctors know a lot but they know a lot about medicine, not… whatever unholy abomination the Toymaker is.” Tobias said.

Katarina shook her head “The Doctor…” how could she explain the Doctor? “He is, well, he knows a great number of things, he has encountered many extraordinary creatures, he has faced off against terrifying beings like the Toymaker. He has saved my life… I promise you he will save us all.”

“He could really go up against the Toymaker?” Tobias raised an eyebrow, and she could not blame him for not wanting to place her trust in a man he had never met.

She drew herself up and nodded. “Yes, he may not be a God, the way the Toymaker is, but he understands the universe and the creatures that inhabit it like no other. When he faces up against terrifying beasts and tricksters, they bend to him, using nothing more than his words. And he will find you a way home.” just speaking of the Doctor gave her voice conviction, she did not sound like herself at all. No, this was the conviction of a girl who could stand toe-to-toe with those dark forces, too. She could pretend to be the hero they needed if it would allow her to walk beyond the edge of this world.

Tobias stared at Katarina, his expression somewhere between terror and awe. He looked down at Lilian and then towards those edges where voices howled and pleaded. To choose to bring his little sister into a place even a God feared was unthinkable but the entire realm was a waking nightmare with infinite possibilities for horrors, it was simply a matter of choosing what terrors you faced. There were no good decisions in a realm ruled by a God like the Toymaker, only choices that could keep them just beyond the grasp of his games.

“Alright, we’ll go with you to find this Doctor.” Tobias nodded and took Lilian’s hand, sealing his unbearable decision. “We have to-“

But Tobias was interrupted by a distant rumble. A smudge began to blot the horizon, a stain seeping onto the void. She squinted and she realised it was not the void changing colours, but an army of dolls heading towards them, their feet creating the drum-like beat of soldiers marching to battle.

She and Tobias turned to run, but Lilian would not move, standing there with her arms crossed. When Tobias went to touch her arm, she jerked away. Were they somewhere ordinary she would look mildly cute but her anger was a painful reminder of the situation they were in.

“Come on, we have to run,” he said, smiling reassuringly. “We’ll be fine, I promise.”

“But will we?” she replied, she crossed her arms, “You said we’d be fine when we got lost here and then you said we’d be fine when we were brought through the mirrors, but we weren’t, we weren’t!” her face crumpled and she began to cry, hunching over, as though trying to escape her realisation.

This is what it was to grow up, to have the world reveal the ugly, painful parts that adults tried their best to conceal. But the veil would always lift and there was the moment when you understood how cruel life could be and you realised that sometimes the adults could not protect you from what fate would bring.

Lilian’s tears were at odds with the wariness but she was in that in between phase, where she was just beginning to understand. Tobias stood there at an utter loss, mouth opening and closing. Katarina walked over to Lilian and put her hand on her shoulder. She put the advancing army of dolls out of her mind, for she had to seem calm and in control.

“Nothing is certain.” Katarina said softly, “But that is why we must try. We can promise we’ll be here with you while we try.” And that was the best they could do in the face of an ever-changing fate that did not heed their wishes or desires. No, there was no such thing as fairness, but in the absence of that they had to be kind to one another. With her death looming, she realised it was all she had left.

Lilian nodded, looking a little calmer. “You’ll always try, won’t you?” she stared up at Tobias, waiting for him to correct the imbalance that had shifted her world.

Tobias looked a little more confident. “I can promise you I’ll always try.” he said and hugged her tight. “I’ll never stop trying. For as long as I can, I’ll be right beside you.” Lilian gripped his hand tight and nodded at him.

As she watched them she felt a lump in her throat. What had happened to her own siblings? She knew what had happened, but she could not think of them here, could not think of them or else she would simply lay down and wait for her intended fate.

“Thank you,” he whispered to Katarina. She just nodded, forcing a smile. She could only hope her fate would free her from the aching loss.

…

They never managed to lose sight of the advancing army of dolls, but they stayed ahead of them, running and running for the edges. She had no idea how they would know they had arrived at the edges of the realm, she only hoped they’d be able to tell that they had.

After a few minutes something appeared on the horizon. But it was not the kind of boundary they had been hoping for. Another row of dolls stood before them, hands linked. There were gaps between each doll, wide and high enough to run through and under, but they could easily block their path, trapping them for the Toymaker.

The dolls remained still and their poise only heightened her fear. She waited for them to make a move but the dolls simply stared, heads tilting slightly as though they were an unusually interesting insect they had found.

“How do we escape them?” Lilian asked, clinging to Tobias’ arm as she frantically searched for somewhere to run.

Behind them the row of advancing dolls drew steadily nearer. They were surrounded, both lines of dolls stretching on and on into the distance. The advancing row came to a stop a few paces behind them. They knew they were trapped, it was simply a matter of waiting for them to break.

With a simple tilt of their heads, the blank faces of the dolls revealed a hunger. It was easy to forget that Tobias and Lilian had been dolls once, the perfect proportions of the painted smiles hid any humanity that lay beneath. They were the Toymakers beings through and through.

What did such beings hunger for? Or rather, what did the Toymaker hunger for? She could not let Tobias and Lilian find out, these children had not done anything to deserve being left at the mercy of such a being. There was only one path forward.

“We’ll have to duck beneath their arms!” Katarina whispered.

Tobias nodded once, turning his back on the row of dolls that had followed them. As she faced down the dolls, preparing her body to run, it struck her how absurd the entire situation was. How many times had she played games like this as a child? Running and dodging, felt as though her the momentum of her legs could carry her up into the sky, beyond the edges of the horizon of the sea that was the edge of her world.

Time seemed to suspend itself, in the moment before such a leap every possible future loomed, every possible way it could go wrong, her body already anticipating the sensation of being grabbed by those thin, wooden fingers.

There could be no prayers, she could not rely on the Gods, not in these acts of defiance. This was her will and her will would have to be enough for Tobias and Lilian.

The dolls remained frozen, she looked to Tobias and Lilian.

And then they ran.

When she reached the row of dolls she threw herself to her knees and pushed herself under, an icy cold wooden hand brushed against her back but she pushed herself up, stumbling into a run. Tobias yanked Lilian away from a doll that had let go of the others and made to grab her. The line dissolved as the dolls turned to chase them, the trio once again gabbed each other’s hands, carrying each other away from the Toymaker, out past the edges of any world they knew.

As she raced away from the dolls, the dizzying thrill of the narrow escape overtook her body, they had gotten past them, they were at the very edges-

And then the void, her thoughts, herself, dissolved.

…

The void gave way to –

-a red room, tiny tracks inlaid on the floor and crawling up the walls, lights glinting off the metal tracks-

gave way to-

a hall with the stars in shimmering gold decorating the ceiling, the red walls lurking beneath, seeping their way through-

gave way to-

A room painted in shades of lush green, a shiny, plastic tree radiating branches from the centre of the room. The shimmering gold stars and the deep navy walls lay half-obscured beneath them, the rich red of the walls dimmed but lurking further still beneath the stars and the green walls, like layers of fabric except solid-

And it gave way and kept giving way- rooms manifested layer upon layer, they were there and not, rooms fighting for dominance, their very beings pulled between them, existing in every room at once. Their bodies fought against the wrongness and she felt as though she were falling, her body crashing into nothing, into floors that were only barely there.

She concentrated on her hands, on the weight of Tobias and Lilian’s hands in hers. It slowed the fall, it told her body that she was anchored to something solid. It held her as the overlap of colours became grew more and more intense and as her body was torn between countless rooms, voices howled in her ears, figures glimpsed and called out. It all too much for her to comprehend, but the feel of their hands, that was real and solid, it was the only thing that made sense in the wild edges of this realm.

But one voice began to rise above them all. The Doctor.

His voice was a thread, shining and golden, senses had lost their meaning but the Doctors voice had resolved itself into a tangible thing, finally it was not an almost-imagined whisper.

She could not let go of Tobias and Lilian’s hands but she followed it, remembered the sensation of walking, of moving one foot in front of the other. Rooms fell away, the veil began to part, colours tugged away, the world resolving itself into a form that made at least some sense.

The Doctors voice grew clearer, the all-consuming darkness revealed once more, they burst through-

…

They fell back into the same dark void but there were no dolls, nothing at all. The only object in the void was a smooth wall, about the height of a wall of a room in a house.

It wasn’t long either, in fact when they walked around the perimeter they discovered that it was one wall that helped to form a small, square room. But there was no door to be found. It was as though a builder had the idea to build a house, only to get bored and wander away.

They walked the perimeter twice, but there was no discernible entrance. She peered up at it, glaring at the perfectly smooth walls. She had not walked off the edge of the realm only to be defeated by the lack of a door.

It was all the more frustrating because the walls were not even that tall, they were only- And suddenly she knew how she was going to get into the room.

“Tobias, do you think you could boost me to the top of the wall?”

Without saying a word, he held out his hands, ready to give her a boost. With a strong push of her foot, her hands reached the top of the wall and she grabbed it, no ceiling there preventing her from doing so.

The Doctor was alone. The room was dominated by a low, enormous table displaying an elaborate model of a tiny British town, like many that she had seen on her travels. It was frozen in the midst of an ordinary day, little vehicles positioned on its roads. She looked upon it like a bird, the dolls that were positioned on the streets so small and insignificant from her vantage point. To see a world spread out, to see all its pieces, she could imagine plucking a doll and rearranging its life, weaving their lives.

She dragged her gaze away from the miniature world and found the Doctor standing against a wall, as far away from the tableau as he could get. He gazed upon it, eyeing it warily.

“Doctor!” she said as she hoisted herself over the top of the wall, not wanting to leave him alone with something that unnerved him so.

“Katarina my dear!” he looked overjoyed. He came over to help her down, his grasp surprisingly steady for someone with such fragile hands. Though, when he set her down, he had to take a brief moment to catch his breath.

“Are you all right? Nothing in here has harmed you?” she asked, turning to examine the village up close. The dolls, she realised, were exact miniatures of the Toymakers minion dolls.

“No, no, nothing like that, don’t you worry. Oh, he could keep me in here for an eternity and I wouldn’t play, oh no, no, no!” he shook his head vigorously, glaring at the table as though it held some great evil. Knowing the Toymaker there probably was something sinister behind the façade of the quaint British village.

“Luckily you do not have to spend an eternity in here, we can use the table to get back over the wall.” she nodded over at it.

They pushed the table up against the wall, giving them enough height to climb back over it. She went first, carefully stepping around the dolls, though she could not feel any consciousnesses from within the tiny bodies.

Once she clambered atop the wall, Tobias and Lilian pulled her down. The Doctor then appeared, the three of them easing him down gently. He leant against the outside wall, wincing and stretching his legs.

As the Doctor recovered his energy, she told him about everything that had happened and introduced Tobias and Lilian. The Doctor did not seem too surprised that she had helped to free the siblings from the Toymakers control.

“Of course, your mind is already sensitive to psychic phenomena. No doubt this strange dimension has heightened your abilities.” he nodded to himself, the mystery neatly resolved. “You know, your journey across the Toymakers dimension was even more remarkable, it’s not a place where beings like us are supposed to exist in, no, that was no easy feat.”

“It was easy really. It was remarkable how easy freeing you was. Why are all the villains we encounter so arrogant?” she shook her head, partially deflecting the praise and partially in disbelief at the smugness she had encountered in such villains.

“Well, we shall make him regret his arrogance!” he chuckled delightedly, “I do always enjoy a bit of mischief, the world needs mischief to keep it balanced!” Tobias and Lilian looked at him, amused at seeing an adult so eager to cause chaos.

“I think he may have you matched on your ability for mischief, but I should never underestimate your abilities.” she smiled, it was the Doctor’s capacity for mischief that was perhaps his most surprising and most compelling trait.

And so they set off back towards the heart of the realm. There was no time to waste and plenty of mischief to be had.

Chapter Text

Steven was tired. He was never not tired it seemed. After having survived more treacherous encounters than he could bear to recall, he was now trapped in the artificial forest. If the nature reserve on the Ark they’d been to was a shrine to the beauty of earth, this forest was a mockery of all that beauty.

His body moved almost of its own accord in between plastic trees coloured in offensively bright hues. He did not think, he just dodged, pure survival instinct driving him. He had noticed himself disappearing into that instinct more and more, because when he was trying to survive, he did not have to think.

The dolls did not quite run after him, their movements too stiff to really resemble running. They encircled him, working in tandem to cut off escape routes. They almost moved languidly, sometimes, enjoying watching him slowly wear himself to the bone.

It was a twisted game of chasing. ‘Chasing’ called to mind carefree days of running around with his friends during school lunches. To his child self every game had felt like life and death, he often wondered if that feeling had led him down this path. He thought he had liked adventure, liked excitement. How little he had known of what real adventure was, not just the wonder but the terror, the listless time spent in prisons, the heavy certainty of doom that hung over every moment long after the danger had passed.

Over the past several years, danger had become routine to him. He hadn’t been exaggerating when he’d said to Katarina that he couldn’t remember how many times he’d been imprisoned. But he knew he did not want to end up in whatever ‘jail’ the Toymaker had set up as part of the game, so he let his instincts guide him.

In the brief pauses, he wondered if one day he would do more than survive, more than just run. That was how he knew he had grown up, when he found himself longing for a quiet life in which the most excitement would come from a burst pipe or an egg with a double yolk.

He longed for it so much that he could not even feel sad about the quiet shattering of his childhood fantasies. Even as he ran, even though rationally he knew that if he stopped he would become a plaything of the Toymaker for all eternity, a part of him simply wanted to give up.

But sitting back and simply letting events run their course was as good as committing the evil himself. He had no choice but to act, so he played on.

…

The second journey through the edges of the realm was not nearly as arduous as the last journey had been. When Katarina had told the Doctor about the ‘thread’ she had followed, he’d had an idea for finding Steven.

They’d simply concentrated on Steven’s voice, conjuring it in their minds, and soon they heard whispers of it echoing in the distance. Focusing on his voice kept her tethered to herself, it helped her fight her way through the layers of rooms, she had to reach him, she had to, she had to.

And then they’d emerged back into a part of the realm that made slightly more sense. By this point they were used to the strange sights that made up the Toymakers realm, it registered as almost normal.

“How long can a game of chasing last?” Steven’s voice rang out, exasperated but still strong, still confident.

“That sounds like Steven, I’d be worried if he wasn’t complaining.” the Doctor said, though Katarina thought his complaining was reasonable this time.

His voice had come from the direction of a copse of trees. It was a garish mockery of nature. The leaves of the trees were painted in garish shades of blue and purple and set out on a flat, neon green surface which Katarina could hardly bear to look at. When the Doctor tried to step on, his leg was stopped in mid-air.

“A force-field, oh, I’m afraid this rescue won’t be as simple as my one was.” The Doctor frowned for a moment and scrutinised the air where the forcefield was, trying to understand it.

Then, through the trees, they glimpsed Steven. Figures flitted in and out of sight, dolls were chasing Steven. Despite how tall he was, he moved elegantly, easily slipping away from his would-be-captors.

“Steven!” she yelled, hands cupped, hoping that it would carry the sound.

“Steven, over here!” the Doctor waved frantically.

Tobias and Lilian joined in, which was enough to get his attention.

He looked at them helplessly for several seconds before running again, the dolls once again catching up. Even if he could make it over to the edges, there was no way to get him over the forcefield, Tobias hurled marbles at it, but even his highest throw hit the barrier.

“it’s too high for any of us to climb this time.” Tobias peered up, dejected.

“We may have to go under.” the Doctor said.

“How?”

“This realm does not operate by the laws of our own universe. There is no ground, therefore, we should be able to walk under the forest here, should we not?” The Doctor looked below and her gaze followed, her stomach dropping, her brain once again remembering that there was nothing really beneath her. Was it only her will alone that prevented her from falling?

Her lungs faltered, remembering the airless vacuum of space, how it wanted to tug her down, down, down... She thought of solid things beneath her feet, soil and stone, standing firmly.

The Doctor took a step with a fierce look of concentration, as though miming walking down a stairs, and when he placed his foot down, it was lower than it had been.

“How… is that magic?” Lilian asked, shrinking back slightly from the Doctor.

“Oh no my dear, these are the rules of this world! Just imagine you are walking down a stairs and you will be walking down a stairs! Follow me down, come along.” The Doctor continued his descent, unbothered by his impossible logic. Tobias and Lilian followed him, but Katarina hesitated. What if she were to plummet? If she had to die she did not want to fall and fall and fall.

In spite of the absence of her Gods, she prayed that there would steps below her, and pictured a stairs, specifically the stairs of the great temple, walking down with Eirene after helping to attend to Cassandra during her services. Her leg dipped but only slightly. She had not fallen. She descended another step and then another, focusing on Lilian in front of her as she descended.

Though she knew she was descending, there was no sensation of moving lower. Only the receding of the bottom of the forest gave any indication of direction. Her legs moved but were it not for the sight of the shrinking forest, she would believe she was suspended in the void.

The Doctor came to a stop and moved, making room for the rest of them. He reached up and pushed against the underbelly of the forest. It moved, but did not give. She and Tobias joined in with the pushing, the plastic material smooth, cool, and light.

It practically slipped up and out, creating a gap more than big enough for them to gain access. They popped up from beneath the sheet of plastic like moles, ducking whenever they spied a doll coming their way. They were not long waiting for Steven, who ran for the gap as soon as he saw it.

“Come on my boy!” the Doctor called. Steven rushed, ducking down so quickly he slid, nearly crashing into the raised sheet, but he regained control and half-crawled, half-leapt, he was almost there-

A hand appeared out of nowhere and grabbed Steven’s arm, yanking him back. The Toymaker fully manifested, his shifting rainbow robe grating against the already garish hues of the fake forest. Steven twisted his arm, but to no avail, the Toymaker held firm.

“Well what do we have here?” he clicked his tongue disapprovingly, but his body was taut, something dark lurking just beneath his veneer of benign disapproval “Never have I had players so troublesome. And I am fair, I always let my players try to win. But you three…” he took a deep breath and smiled, shaking his head.

“We never consented to play this game! No one here did!” the Doctor glared up at him.

“Yet you participated, you played the games, is that not consent?” the Toymaker.

“Hard not to when you can turn us into dolls with the click of your fingers. Not really a choice in that case.” Steven said, still straining against the Toymakers grasp.

“But when it’s such fun, there hardly needs to be a choice. Is a choice between fun and boredom even a choice?“ said the Toymaker. He received various disbelieving stares in return. Tobias looked about ready to launch himself out from beneath the plastic to tackle the Toymaker.

“Fun?” the Doctor sputtered “Do you think I had fun trapped in that lonely room? Do you think these children had fun being transformed into dolls forced to obey your every whim?”

“They are games, games are meant to be fun. I gave you power, all those tiny dolls to arrange as you pleased. Did you not find the game fun?” the Toymaker tilted his head, as though the words he was hearing were incomprehensible. Gods could never truly understand humans, they were never supposed to interact for long. To gaze upon the divine for too long was drive yourself to madness, after all. “But none of this matters, you broke the rules, which spoils the fun. If you played properly you would understand.”

“What good are rules when they are weighted in favour of one side? When you hold all the power, when you are the one setting the rules! Those aren’t games, what you are doing is putting these people in your own personal puppet shows, how could they ever hope to win by following those rules?” the Doctor said, glaring sternly at the Toymaker.

“But you must obey the rules! That’s how games work!” the Toymaker was nearly shaking with rage and briefly his form wavered, his edges blurring But he solidified once again, the rage confined behind a sneer.

“It’s not like your rules make much sense, why should we have to follow unfair rules?” Steven said calmly, merely raising an eyebrow at the force of the Toymakers anger, finally wrenching his arm free of the Toymakers grasp.

“How dare you! These are my games! I get to make the rules! You must follow those rules!” the illusion of control the Toymaker had shattered. She expected him to stamp his foot. As it was, his face had started to go red. “Enough! If you won’t play my games the way they are meant to be played, I’ll just let my dolls restrain and then, oh then we shall play! Play properly!” he was almost sulking and was he not a terrifying new type of God, she would have chastised him for his brattiness.

How could this being claim to exercise power over her? A being so ancient acting like a child who was trying to avoid losing a game by constantly changing the rules as he pleased. Even the way the Doctor and Steven were talking to him was the same way in which her mama had spoken to her and her siblings when they had misbehaved.

How hollow his justifications seemed. The Toymaker truly thought he controlled Fate, that once his rules were in place they must follow them. But Fate was the force that governed the universe, it made sense of a harsh and brutal world, of its tragedies and injustices. It gave her limits, allowed her to make peace with what she could not change.

The Toymaker was not a being who dictated Fate, for even Gods were subject to it. His rules were nonsensical, designed for his own amusement and no purpose higher than that. Steven was right, why should she have heed rules not made for the good of her or anyone else?

The fake forest floor shifted, phasing through her hands, her body recoiling at the wrongness of being physically inside a solid object, but it moved down, down, the Toymaker receding away from them, until they were no longer beneath the forest but in a pit, the forest having warped around them to entrap them.

The pit was deep, deep enough that there was no way they could climb out. Even if they tried the smooth plastic provided no grip. How dare the Toymaker resort to such a cowardly method to kill them! If she were to die, it would not be with honour. To die at the hands of the Toymaker was almost insulting. She found that she was shaking, but this time it was not from fear, but that old, deep rage. It howled one last time before it was to be snuffed out.

They heard the dolls advancing, their wooden feet making a strange clacking sound on the plastic. One by one they came into view, blank, hungry faces staring down. Tobias hugged Lilian tight, trying to hide her in his embrace.

The dolls clutched ropes for climbing down and large sticks taken from the trees for fighting them into submission. Their movements were slow, it would not be quick, whatever they were about to do to them. And they would feel the pain of it, their fear and helpless rage against the inevitable delighted him.

As they drew nearer, the dolls movements only became slower, prolonging their dread. But as the dolls began to prepare the ropes for descent, they started to falter, their movements becoming jerkier. They crouched, readying themselves to climb down, but tried to push themselves back up, but an invisible force pushed them back down to the ground.

She realised that they were trying to slow themselves, trying to pause before their next steps, spreading their arms out to prevent those beside them from advancing. Those tiny actions seemed to take all the strength each doll had, as though they were pushing back against the weight of the world itself.

They had all stopped and were staring at the eerie and tragic spectacle of the dolls attempting to control their own limbs. Tobias stared, wincing, clearly haunted by his own memories of his imprisonment in his own body.

“You managed to save us, maybe you could save them!” Tobias said, grabbing her arm, his eyes wide with a desperate terror.

There were at least twenty, she could not reach out to so many minds. Tobias looked at her as though she could really save them, and it made her want to run. Could he not see she was a girl who had floundered her way into the vicinity of greatness? Take the Doctor away and she was nothing.

“It’s all right my dear, perhaps if you free one, the others may follow.” The Doctor put his hand on her shoulder, “All you can do is try.”

So she stepped forward and went to the nearest doll, because even if she was just a girl who had gotten above her station, she had to try to save them. The doll laid its hand on Katarina’s leg, head tilted up and though its face was painted, she could see the desperation in its expression.

She crouched down and grasped its hand. How long had it worn the perfectly designed face? What lay trapped beneath?

Once again she reached out for that tiny spark buried within. Slowly, she could feel a presence reach out, exhausted and worn down. It expanded, enveloping her own emotions, her own body ached from the time spent playing for the Toymaker, just as she thought it would smother her entirely, she jolted.

Her head ached, but looking down into the pit was not a doll, but a person. She could sense the other dolls, but she did not have to reach so far for their minds, she could feel all their presences coming forward. She latched onto one at random and repeated the process, more grief and fear and anger.

The freeing of the two people encouraged the others as she noticed a third person she had not had to help at all. One by one the dolls began to transform, wooden limbs shrinking and smoothing out into flesh, heads and legs and arms moving fluidly. Before long, they were all human and fully in control of themselves again.

“Here, use these!” a woman in a crisp white shirt tossed down her rope. Steven went first, a crowd of the freed people holding onto the rope to ensure it would not slip loose. The rest of them followed. It was not an easy climb for Katarina, her head ached from holding the minds of others within her and her arms burned from the climb. She sat down on the ground, panting.

At first they were showered with thank yous from the freed dolls, people scrambling to help them to their feet. But as they pulled away and their words died down, the mood of the crowd began to shift.

Having been freed but with no way out of the realm, they began to panic. They were half-healed, their bodies whole, but they still carried the memories of being trapped in those forms, their grief spilling over in cries and yells and vacant stares.

The Doctor raised his hands and they all gradually fell silent, waiting for guidance, for something that would lead them out of the nightmare they found themselves trapped in.

“I realise that you have all been through an immensely harrowing experience. I understand that you are frightened and angry, to have your bodies inhabited without consent, used as toys. But I promise you all that we will not remain trapped here, you will all be free of him.” the Doctor said, though the crowd was not placated.

“How will we escape this place?” an angry voice cried out, trying to hide their fear. The crowd murmured in agreement, a chorus of frightened voices beginning to build. But the Doctor remained steady, a solution at hand.

“We use his own tools against him. The Toymaker does not have full control over all of these toys. We can play our own games, we can unsettle him, cause chaos that he cannot tame.” a spark had appeared in the Doctors eyes as he spoke, “We must destabilise him, only then will we be able to escape this world of his. He created those toys for his own use, his own games. To see those he once imprisoned playing with them freely, outside of the rules he has set will weaken him, and then, we will be able to break down the barrier that is keeping us from our own world.”

As he had spoken, the crowd had first become calmer before growing more confident, eager to help defeat the being who had entrapped them.

She almost felt their hope, almost believed that she, too, would escape. But she could not let go of the certainty that it was her fate to be left trapped there. She was certain that the Toymaker was not one of her Gods, but she had ended up in his domain nevertheless. Why would she have ended up in such a place if not to be punished?

But it had made her conviction to defy stronger. If punishment or death truly was coming for her, she would step toward it having done what was truly right.

“Doctor, meeting you and Steven, being able to see even a glimpse of the universe… I am grateful for everything, more than you could ever know.” Katarina said. Her words felt so inadequate, but she could not live without saying them. She had to express those feelings while she still could.

“Why do you say that?” but the Doctor knew why. “I promise you this is not the divine punishment you think it is.” He looked to Steven, reflexively searching for his usual affirmations, words to ward off the tides of fate.

“I mean you said it yourself, we’re outside the universe. How are we going to get back without the TARDIS? Even if we do run rings around the Toymaker, there’s no way out.” Steven said and though he was shaking his head, there was a quiet relief in his expression.

The Doctor took their hands, squeezing them. Shame burned through her, for she knew that her acceptance of her death made him feel as though he had failed to save her, that she would not be a fondly remembered friend but a failure who would haunt him in his loneliest hours.

“We will escape, he cannot hold us here. Oh, he might have all that power but that does not mean we are doomed. If we all found our way into his world, then we shall find our out!”

There was that hope, she was so tired of it, tired of her fate constantly shifting, of the possibility of something more. Yet she returned his squeeze because hope was a very difficult thing to kill.

…

The toys were commandeered eagerly by those who had once been dolls themselves. Blocks were pushed, sounds of crashing objects and moving wheels and bouncing balls gave rise to a chaotic melody. A joyous rebellion spread across the realm, an eternal summers evening spent running in the streets where they were never called in for the night. She felt so young again, not helpless, but carefree.

However, despite the success they had with throwing the realm into disorder, there was one area they could not penetrate with their playful chaos. The central fairground was too densely packed with various deadly creations of the Toymaker for them to venture into it, filled with deadly games and traps lurking behind every stall. But Steven had had an idea of how to clear the area.

He had not even stopped to explain his idea, so she had followed him out of a mixture of concern and curiosity, with the Doctor promising to meet them at the giant toy chest, its looming presence making it easy to see even from afar. Tobias and Lilian followed her, though they briefly lost Tobias when he had stopped to grab coloured swathes of fabric.

The structure he led them to was tall, though not as tall as the rollercoaster which she had used to escape the fairgrounds. It was comprised of thick, bright tubes, though it looked precarious. If there had been wind in this realm, it would only take a brisk gust to topple it over.

“What is that?” Katarina asked.

“Marble run.” Steven said, grinning.

“What’s a marble run?” she craned her neck up, but the structure did not give his words any meaning.

The question made him pause, for it was always the simplest things you gave no real thought to that were the hardest to explain.

“You had marbles as a child, right?” he asked, and when Katarina nodded, he continued, “Well it’s basically a huge track you can run marbles down. There’s tunnels and ramps and tubes and all sorts and you can swap all the different pieces around. Of course, marble run sets are usually a lot smaller than this one, so I don’t know how you’re supposed to swap out the pieces here.”

“So we’re going to use this series of tunnels and ramps to direct the marbles towards fairground so they can flatten it?” she asked after studying the structure.

Yes, it’s like knocking over the house you built out of blocks once you’re done with it. I always found it satisfying, watching everything falling over.” Steven looked wistful, smiling at the thought of destruction.

“I never knew you had such a destructive streak.” she arched an eyebrow at him. Sensible, heroic Steven looked at her, his smile gaining the angles of a smirk. He raised his eyebrows in turn and turned toward the fairground

“Steven Taylor, are you enjoying the idea of causing mayhem? I expected this from the Doctor but from an upstanding paragon of virtue such as yourself...” she shook her head, a playful smirk spreading across her face.

Steven gave her a withering mock-glare “I’ll have you know that all my mayhem is for the greater good.”

They circled the structure, trying to figure out how to manipulate its enormous pieces. There seemed to be no gap between the seams of the plastic pieces and even if they were, they would nearly be too heavy for the four of them to move. After several minutes of frustrating inspection, Tobias found the solution by accident after pressing down on a slightly raised bump on a ramp.

The enormous plastic ramp slid itself out and swung around, the pieces comprising the pole opposite rushing up to meet it. It settled and snapped into place with a loud and satisfying click.

Before they could worry about how they were going to rearrange the pieces beyond their reach, they found a solution to the problem. Beside one of the bases lay a thin yellow platform that hovered slightly above the ground. When he stepped onto it and gripped its edges, it rose.

They started from the bottom, surveying the structure then shifting pieces into place and ensuring they were angled towards the fairground. Eventually, they needed to start using the platform to manipulate the pieces out of their reach.

Steven hopped on the platform and Katarina practically threw herself at it, her arms burning as she hauled herself up onto it.

“You know you could have just waited for me to lower it?” Steven said.

“You’re too much of a hero for me to trust that you would do that.” she raised an eyebrow at him. He turned away, his mouth set into a line.

“We can signal each other with these.” Tobias broke in, waving the coloured pieces of fabric he’d stopped to pick up, “it’s like the maritime signal flag system. We live by the sea and we see boats do it all the time. The actual code is very complicated but we can use a more basic version. Thought we might be needing these and I was right.”

“That’s brilliant!” Katarina took a bundle of fabric from him. It was an easy system he devised, green for release, red for hold off. She jumped and grabbed the edges of the platform, hauling herself up.

Initially they could call down to Tobias and Lilian, figuring out the best positions for each piece of the structure. But eventually they could no longer hear them. It would be up to her and Steven to construct the correct path for the marbles.

Eventually, they reached the top layer of the structure. The view from the top of the marble run was spectacular. For the first time she could see a beauty in the realm, in the bursts of colour floating in the endless black. They found the release for the marbles. Against the blackness of the void, the glass marbles containing swirls of colour resembled stars. Steven found the button that opened up the entrance to the tube beneath the waiting stage and pushed it.

Released, they slid towards the hole and disappeared. All they could do was wait, hoping they had positioned the various tubes and ramps correctly.

“It’s eerie yet so beautiful.” she felt a strange sense of peace, seeing it all from so high up. Everything looked serene, simply existing there.

“I think that sums up a lot of my time with the Doctor.” Steven said, after a time, “Sometimes I don’t know how to feel about it all, it can go from being wonderful to horrible so quickly, I feel like I’m always waiting for those horrors. “

As soon as he’d finished speaking, the first marble they had let loose rolled out from the bottom of the structure and towards the fairgrounds. It easily smashed through the wall and flattened the booths and toys in its path. She and Steven looked at each other, grinning, then laughing, filled with a childlike sense of giddiness at the joy of creation and destruction, toys knocked down and worlds rearranged. Except to see actual, real structures destroyed by their own actions…

Steven leaned over the edge slightly, craning his neck to get a better view of the destruction. There was something like wonder on his face as he surveyed the remains of the fairgrounds.

“But I never thought I’d see a world that’s just toys. I mean, when you take the Toymaker away, it’s like something from a dream.” Steven said slightly breathlessly. She said nothing, not wanting to break whatever tentative sense of awe Steven had unearthed underneath the layers of world-weariness.

In a way it was like some fantastical dream. The toys meant little to her but their bright colours were intoxicating, she had never seen shades so vibrant and deep. From up high, seeing them suspended gave her a strange sense of peace, it made her feel like she was floating gently among them.

But the destroyed funfair broke the dreamlike atmosphere. Pieces of wood were suspended in the darkness, smashed by the giant marbles. They had caused that destruction, had torn down the lair of a God, or whatever he was.

“I can’t believe that was because of us…” she shook her head in disbelief at the scale of their actions.

“I know, it’s nice not to feel powerless. Strange, it’s almost a shame seeing all that destroyed.” Steven said, idly, as though it were a tower of wooden blocks he had knocked down.

All sense of triumph she had felt was gone. Seeing the wake of destruction left by the marbles, destruction she helped cause left had left her somewhat uneasy, but it was how Steven spoke of the destruction that left her unnerved. The idleness in his voice diminished the consequences, somehow. She knew the dolls could not be injured, knew that the fairgrounds had been cleared out, but all she could see were the streets of Troy filled with cowering, screaming people with nowhere to run but flames or waiting soldiers.

The structure trembled, jolting her. The void was calm as ever upon first glance but she saw something below them, something that had not been there before.

Giant playing cards had somehow freed themselves from a structure somewhere below and were crashing into the marble run structure. Steven had to scramble to manoeuvre the platform, barely moving out of the way before a card sailed through the air where they had just been. The cards continued to circle and swarm around them, like a frenzied flock of birds.

Steven had to tilt the platform sharply to avoid one that came near and Katarina nearly lost her grip, her stomach swooping in anticipation of the fall, but it jolted back into place, catching her. The giant playing cards seemed to ignore them, moving together in seemingly random directions.

She caught a flash of green fabric being waved below, Tobias and Lilian were safe, at least.

“Over there!” Steven steered the platform, and as they approached she saw what he had spotted: another pool of marbles they had never even released. He guided the platform down further still.

“We have to aim the marbles at those playing cards. Reach out and press that button there.”

He guided the platform back up and positioned it by the button that would release the marbles. She reached out, hand poised, waiting for his signal. He held up his hand, never taking his eyes off the cards.

“Now!” Steven yelled.

Katarina pressed the button to release the ramp and the marble flew up and out into the air, knocking into the cards, scattering them into the depths of the void.

They waited, the cards vanished from sight and the void went still. Steven began to laugh, a relieved, joyous sound. She sank back, feeling her heart beating wildly. She waved a green cloth over the side to signal to Tobias that they were unharmed.

“Look!” Steven pointed to what was once the middle of the fairgrounds, “It’s the TARDIS!”

“The marbles, it’s like they’re going around it.” she stared in awe as a marble pivoted away from the TARDIS.

Steven guided the platform down, using the remnants of the marble run structure as a guide on where to park it. It came to a gentle stop and they leapt off. The invisible ground caught them and she did not look down, knowing her relief at the feel of solid ground would vanish if she did.

“Come on, let’s go find the Doctor, now that we have the TARDIS we can get everyone out of here!” Steven said, and they ran off, eager now that escape was within their grasp.

…

The realm was breaking down around them. Objects swirled through the darkness all around them, toys seemed to expand and shrink at random. Any semblance of order or logic was crumbling before them.

They had to dodge toys falling and flying through the void. The joy of freedom and rebellion had turned to panic, the toys did not seem to be under the control of anyone, not even the Toymaker. Around them newly-freed people scrambled, trying to find shelter from the whirlwind of toys.

The Doctor stood serenely amidst all the chaos at the giant toy chest, where he had said he would be. His face was stern but from the way he surveyed the crashing toys, she could tell that he was enjoying the chaos. A crowd had begun to form around him, there were so many she did not recognise. How many people had the Toymaker taken to be his dolls?

“We’ve found the TARDIS, it’s in the fairgrounds. Well, what’s left of the fairgrounds.” Steven said.

Instead of looking relieved, the Doctor’s frown deepened.

“We can leave, can’t we? We can bring everyone home using the TARDIS?” Steven said, a fearful desperation creeping into his voice. But the Doctor shook his head.

“We cannot leave yet, the Toymaker dragged us out of our own universe. There are ways into this universe but no ways out, otherwise I fear he would be wreaking havoc across our universe. I am not sure the TARDIS could break free of this world, not as it is at the moment.” The Doctor said.

They were trapped. Lilian gazed down into the blackness, her face blank, as though she was resigning herself to becoming a doll once more. But Katarina knew the Doctor, even when it was impossible he’d still try to find a way to save them all, he’d never stop trying.

“That does not mean there is no way out. We have destabilised the realm but we have not defeated him yet. We are still bound by his rules. If we could play against him and defeat him, we will be winners. To a being such as the Toymaker, winning is what gives him power. If we could take that power, I believe it would destabilise him and his world that we could leave this dimension.” The Doctor, tapped his finger against his chin, nodding to himself.

“How can we defeat him? He seems to win every game, eventually.” Katarina asked, fretting with the material of her dress. Challenging such beings rarely ended well. They may have been able to act against him but he was still a God, a lone God who held mastery over an entire world, everyone in it included.

“No my dear, don’t you see, he is losing control! The flying toys are not just because of our actions, no, he is losing his grip because of our actions! The chaos and breakdown of reality that was confined to the outer limits of his world is now spreading.” the Doctor chuckled, “As long as we escape before this world becomes too unstable, we should be fine. And we have the upper hand against him. We may have to play one of his games to escape, but we will be able to set fairer rules so we have a chance.”

At this, everyone started to speak, angry protestations at having to once again play his games, cries of despair. But there were others who stepped forward to volunteer themselves, full of righteous fury, eager to take out their rage on the Toymaker.

“No, I instigated it, I fear he will only accept a challenge from me.” he said, and was met with protests from those who still wanted to challenge The Toymaker themselves.

“He is a being of unimaginable power, we may have weakened his position, but there’s only so much we can negotiate with him. We can wait for him, make him come to us, but we must accept his choice of player for his final game.” The Doctor said, the firmness of his words settled the matter.

People huddled together, making tentative connections as they waited. They spent so long together, trapped, unable to speak until now. Most of the conversations flowed easily, people eager to speak after being unable to do so for so long. Katarina turned towards the Doctor, who was staring out into the void.

“Will you be all right, playing against the Toymaker himself?” Katarina kept her voice low, as though it would protect her. All of the Doctors wit and quick thinking did not matter in the face of the raw power the Toymaker wielded, she did not want him going up against that alone.

“Don’t you worry my dear, he is not as powerful as he seems.” The Doctor said, “Beings like him never are.”

“Please, I know you can do the most wonderful, incredible feats in the face of the impossible but he is not like any other being we have faced. Don’t be reckless, please.” Katarina whispered the last sentence, trying to keep her voice from breaking. He turned towards her and took her hands in his.

“Katarina, no being is undefeatable, there is always, always a way, my dear.” The Doctor squeezed her hands, and for a brief moment all felt right with the world.

It was at that moment the Toymaker appeared. The crowd fell silent at once, the air teeming with a potent mix of dread and relief.

“This has gone on long enough.” The Toymaker stalked forward, terrifyingly resplendent in his shining robes. “As of now, this nonsense ends. None of you have been using the toys correctly, there are ways that my games are intended to be played. The rules are the rules, and there are consequences for breaking them, starting now.”

“Oh, but you cannot control us, not anymore.” The Doctor took a step forward, unafraid.

The Toymaker waved his hand absently, but his realm did not respond to him. The void remained still, no reinforcements marching in to save the day.

Nearby, a giant wooden toy soldier sprung to life before faltering and dropping into the depths, coming to a stop far below their feet. Katarina could feel the change in the crowd, the fear did not quite disappear but some of the tension dissipated in the face of the underwhelming display.

“This is all your fault! Everything worked smoothly before you came!” the Toymaker waved his arms in frustration, his voice building to a whine. “But you still must play my games. There is no way out of my realm without winning against me. You will be trapped here, I simply won’t play.”

“Then we won’t stop causing chaos. Every new person who falls into your realm, we’ll get them on side, we’ll break every toy of yours, even it takes us the rest of our lives!” said Tobias. Behind him, Steven threw Tobias a weary glance, already resigned to the rest of his life in an eternal battle.

She felt surprisingly ready, almost eager, for such a battle. He was not her God, he could not compel obedience from her. Why should he? Why should she owe obedience to beings with such disregard for human lives?

But her growing defiance nearly died when she saw the look on The Toymakers face. He gazed over them, unmoved, bored by their display. He would never play a game again, just to spite them. It was impossible to wear down a being who could outlast every annoyance, every threat. They may as well try to wear down a rock with their bare hands.

Yet her Gods were as flawed as humans were and in that way the Toymaker was very like her Gods. It was not a matter of wearing him down but of making him act in their favour.

All doubts fell away, and she knew exactly how she could get him to play the game on their terms. The possibility of the power she held felt dizzying, the words forming in her mouth like embers.

“I can understand why you would be uneasy playing such a game,” Katarina said, carefully, keeping her voice meek, respectful, “Even when the Gods are on your side, there is no guarantee of victory. Of course, in Troy, even when the Gods had left us we fought on, defending Troy to the last. Not one of us stood down, not even when the enemy stormed our city. Even a lowly handmaiden as I stood tall in the face of the enemy.”

All that power and yet two sentences from her were enough to anger him. It took nearly all her willpower to stop herself from laughing at the absurdity of it. How could such a small being as her hold that power over a god?

“I do not know what it is to fight?” The Toymaker sputtered, quickly pausing to regain control of himself “I know more of fighting, more of playing than you could possibly comprehend. I have brought emperors to their knees, had warlords beg, I have won universes and held them in my palm, torn their matter apart and gave it a new form.” Katarina saw him clearly then, the terrifying primal force straining at the confines of the human guise he wore.

“Then won’t you play? I promise to try and make it a fight worthy of your skills.” The Doctor said.

“One final game, Doctor, very well.” The Toymaker said and the Doctor gave a curt nod.

“Do not be so arrogant, even in my weakened state, I am far more powerful than you’ll ever be.” The Toymaker had regained his triumphant air “And if I win, you are all to remain here forever, and we shall play game after game, there will never-ending revelry!” Katarina knew enough about Gods to know that such revelry would lead to oblivion.

“No, if you win I will be the one to remain here forever, you must let everyone else go. But if I win, your control over all of us is forfeit and we are free to return to our own universe.”

Listening to them bargain, it felt as though she were in a story, hearing them speak about the fate of worlds in that way made it feel like they were haggling over nothing more consequential than a fine piece of cloth. Is that how the Toymaker saw the world, as something small and inconsequential? Gods were of the world, she had thought, forces that helped govern it, but the Toymaker loomed so far above it all, the world bending itself to serve his whims.

And If Gods were a force of nature, a natural part of the world, the Toymaker would be chaos made manifest, bending the universe to his own whims.

The Toymaker conjured the model village the Doctor had been imprisoned with earlier. They stood either side of it, Gods presiding over a world in miniature. She noticed details she had not had time to earlier, narrow winding alleyways branching off the wider streets, a bubbling spring set into the hills that rose above it, the intricate detail on the fountain in the central square.

“I must have an equal say in the rules, after all, a key principle of play is fairness.” the Doctor said. The Toymakers glower somehow deepened even further, but he had no choice but to accept the compromise.

The game was as follows: they were to get their chosen villager doll to the other side of the village without physically touching the model village or the table it stood upon. The dolls would be placed at opposite ends of the village, at an equal distance from the central square. There were red lines at the entrances to the square, if the doll crossed any of those lines, the game was over, won by whoever owned the doll.

The Toymaker did his best to create rules that were advantageous for himself, weaving his words to try and make his opponent stumble. He tried to permit the use of his powers, tried to set impossible time limits. But the Doctor met this attempted trickery with ease, not allowing the rules to be bent and twisted in service of The Toymaker.

They all stared at each other, incredulous at how childish he sounded. This had been the God who had kept so many imprisoned, dancing to his whims? It made their imprisonment seem all the more humiliating, only strengthening their resolve to defeat him and be free of his realm.

Their exchanges went on and on like this, less clever trickster God and mere mortal and more petulant child and a bemused parent. It was remarkable to see how the Toymaker floundered when he was not the one setting the rules, without his full power to leverage over his opponents.

The rules were eventually settled as follows: Neither player was allowed to physically touch the town or the dolls. The Toymaker could not use his powers to manoeuvre the dolls. There would be a table of objects for both players, those were the objects they could use to attempt to manoeuvre their dolls. The objects would be completely random, the Toymaker summoning two equally sized tables. He was bound by the rules of the game, as the Doctor had reminded him, ensuring that the Toymaker would not give himself an unfair advantage by summoning a table with more useful objects.

Silence descended and the game began. They stood by their tables and as soon as the bell sounded out, they moved towards the model village. The two inspected the model village carefully, tracing paths from the opposite edges of the village where their dolls stood to the red line in the heart of the town.

Katarina knew she was witnessing an epic in the making. An epic that mainly involved two people frowning down at a table full of models. But as her papa said, anything could make for a good story when told with the right words.

They all watched with an anxious hopefulness, their held breaths and wide-eyed gazes creating a cloying silence. The Doctor and the Toymaker seemed oblivious to the spectators piercing stares, with the Doctor strolling around the perimeter and the Toymaker stood at the end of the table, carefully examining the streets.

The Doctor went over to his table of objects. The selection of objects was the exact same for each player. It was a motley collection of objects, brightly coloured pieces of plastic and watches and what looked to be hair ties. None of them looked as though they could effectively move a doll across a board.

But the Doctor did not look deterred by the poor selection, he picked up a hair tie which he stretched out between his fingers. The Toymaker looked noticeably more agitated, unused to being unable to simply use his powers to win.

The Doctor stretched the hair tie several times, inspecting it closely, before nodding and setting it aside. He then picked up a small mirror in a red rectangular frame. His body obscured what he was doing and the crowd eagerly stretched and strained, trying to see what he was doing with the items on the table.

Katarina snuck glances at The Toymaker, watching as he got more and more frustrated as he stared at the objects on the table, his rage barely concealed. She almost expected him to flip over the table, but before he could, she heard the Doctor make a satisfied chuckle

When she looked back over at the Doctor, he held a makeshift slingshot. The hair tie was wrapped around the remnants of the red mirror frame. Did he intend to aim it at the doll, hoping the momentum would carry it forward? Everyone watched, some ducking away as though they could not bear it, not with all that was at stake.

He turned towards the hills that lay above the miniature village and raised the slingshot. Though he was poised like some god, his expression held a strange reluctance, as though he was not just aiming at a world populated by dolls.

The Doctor released it, sending the object careening towards the hole the water was gushing out of. The hill broke and water gushed forth, rushing down the hill in a violent torrent. The Doctor watched, a satisfied smile growing as the water rushed towards the edge of the village where his doll stood.

The torrent swept up the Doctors doll and propelled it through the streets. The doll bobbed along, lying on its back, staring up into the void, oblivious to the momentous journey it was undertaking.

It bumped up against the lampposts in the street just before the entrance to the square, bouncing back into the street. The flow of the water was slowing down, the momentum of the doll slowing with it. Katarina watched, transfixed, everyone did, willing the water to carry the doll just a little bit further.

The water flowed gently and deposited the doll on its back by the fountain. The Doctor had won and there was no rule that prevented him from wrecking the game board in order to win.

The Toymakers loss snapped the tenuous grip he still had upon his realm. Perhaps if they had not been so near to the edges he could have at least held the realm together, but around them toys lost their form, smearing themselves across the void before melting into the dark.

The Toymaker howled, a guttural and inhuman noise, his human form wavering. She looked away, not wanting to lay eyes upon his true form.

To see a world break apart was not to witness a series of linear events. These were the impressions she later recalled when trying to weave the collapse into a coherent story:

Time unravelled and objects disappeared. Some vanished in a second, others seemed to melt, others eroded impossibly fast, the effects of the time destructor in miniature. She could stare and feel as though hours had passed but she would look to Steven and he would be exactly where he was mere seconds ago.

Toys fell away and floated up, yanked into the darkness, while others simply popped out of existence, leaving no trace in the darkness. The model village fell and she leapt back as it shrank into the darkness. Screams filled the air as people began to panic, some trying to run, others crouching in terror.

Around them slashes of light ripped the void apart where people stood, subsuming them, transforming them into silhouettes on the void, then burning them away. Katarina cried out as a woman near her was caught by the light, her features erased in the brightness.

The scenes of collapse was punctuated by the Doctor reassuring her as they watched people disappear into the light.

“Don’t worry my dear, they are being returned home! Loss is against his very being, this loss is tearing apart his realm. Anything of his realm is being destroyed and anything not of his realm is being returned to where they are supposed to belong. Come, we must hurry to the TARDIS!” The Doctor grabbed their hands and they began to run.

Katarina felt something pull at her dress, she turned and found Tobias and Lillian there, tendrils of light drifting towards them. Despite the chaos around them, they were at ease, gentle smiles on their faces.

“Thank you, for everything.” Tobias said, and Lillian nodded, the girl calmer than Katarina had ever seen her. A crack of light swallowed them, leaving shadowy impressions, then nothing. Something in her unknotted, they had returned home. She turned away from where they had been and began to run.

Running made time make sense, their actions giving an order to things. They were going from one place to another, they had an end destination, the TARDIS.

They ran and ran and then they tried to run, but at some point the motion of running simply ceased to be. She could not move her legs to run, when she stepped forward, trying to walk, she simply found her foot back where it had been. The space simply would not accept the action of stepping. She turned, but there was nowhere to turn, there was no forward or backward or up or down. Were it not for the Doctor or Steven, there would be nothing at all.

The void was peeling away, she could not comprehend what lay behind the darkness, if it was even behind the darkness. There were impressions of blinding colours, howling sounds that somehow meshed, they were the same the sounds and the colours. She shut her eyes against what even the Gods were not meant to witness.

“The TARDIS! Think of the TARDIS!” the Doctor cried, a real and solid thing amidst the impossible. She held onto his voice, she pictured the TARDIS in her mind, she conjured its hum, the way its presence lay against her mind.

She opened her eyes, trying to keep her eyes open against the beyond-the-void shining through, it was all falling away, she could feel something tug at her, she thought only of the TARDIS, she could feel the Doctor and Steven’s minds straining against the collapse of the world around them, and then she felt another presence resolve itself, calling out among the howls and colours of the void.

They took three steps, space meaning nothing, and they were at the doors of the TARDIS. The Doctor let go of their hands and fished out the key, he unlocked the door and they raced inside, Steven slamming the door behind them. The Doctor threw a switch and the TARDIS sprang to life, spiriting them away back into their own world.

She let the gentle hum of the TARDIS wash over her mind, its presence whispering soothingly at the corners of her mind, as she tried to process all that she had witnessed.

“Hopefully that’s the last we’ll see of him!” Steven said, glancing over his shoulder, as though the presence of the Toymaker lingered just beyond the walls of the TARDIS.

“We defeated him for now, but a being like that, he is immortal. I will see him again, no doubt. He may even come back stronger, unbound by the restraints of his own realm…” the Doctor said.

“You’ve crossed a God, he will not forget this slight readily.” dread began to gather, defying the god may have been the right thing to do but they had to live with the consequences of their defiance.

“Don’t you worry Katarina, we defeated him for now! I say we won’t see him for some time yet!” the Doctor said, chuckling, unbothered by the fact he now counted a vengeful god among his enemies.

Perhaps she would be long dead before he managed to return to full strength and the Doctor would be well-prepared to face him once again. But that was a long time away. For a while, at least, they could not be harmed by him.

She left the Doctor and Steven talking in the console room, needing to dwell on what happened. It was only her and the TARDIS, its gentle, encompassing presence brushing against her mind. It would let her wander, but not get lost. She brushed her hand against the wall appreciatively and she felt it hum in response.

How the Gods would receive her when she re-entered the world? She had consciously defied them, had chosen not to take the Toymakers punishments. Her fate had been death, ever since that first dream back in Troy, and she had eluded it again and again and again.

Standing against the Toymaker had been an easy decision because how could she not try to save her friends? There was never any question of the Gods flaws, but she could only do so much. If she were able to act against them, defy them, what did that mean?

Even after the things she had experienced and all that she learned, she still had faith in them. It was a shape she was still trying to understand, but it remained within her, an unshakeable presence.

In a way, she felt more at ease with the thoughts of praying to them than she had in months. She had much to ponder, much to make peace with. Wandering the corridors made thinking easier, her thoughts unspooling with every step. No, she would never abandon her Gods entirely. But she could not worship them in the unquestioning way she had done.

She had seen beyond reality itself, those impossible sights that her mind could only remember as bursts of colour, that even now faded further and further, leaving her only with a sense of some terrifying greatness beneath the surface of all she could see. There was something beyond the power of the Gods themselves, something no being or force in the universe was meant to comprehend.

But if there was something beyond those forces, beyond the Gods and beyond fate, it did not make her equal to them, exactly, but it meant they were not an unquestionable power. Not if there was something above them, something that could rip their realms to pieces as though it were reams of fabric.

Faith was not supposed to be easy. After her mama had told her that, she had always believed that meant she must accept the will of the Gods, even if it led to cruelty and grief, as they were the arbiters of fate.

She did not have to accept their curses, the whims of their rages, maybe it was right to stand against the injustices inflicted by them, by fate. She could not prevent every tragedy and awful thing, she could not have prevented the fall of Troy. But she could be angry at the Gods, even stand against them, without being any less faithful.

The power she had over her own fate and of others lay uneasily within her. It had been easier when she had believed she only had to play her part in some grand plan. And some part of her would always long for those days when she had merely had to keep her head down and obey, that same part of her that longed for Troy, for home. But she knew there was no going back, and despite her fear, she felt excited to live a life where she chose her path.

She did not deserve punishment, she knew she believed that much. In re-entering their world, the balance of power between her, the Gods, and fate had shifted.

And so Katarina re-entered the world, forever changed.

Chapter Text

Months had passed since their encounter with the Toymaker, his nightmarish presence slowly fading from their minds. There had been so many adventures and near-misses and shenanigans since then that they had made the Toymaker seem almost insignificant, sometimes.

But he had not quite been done toying with them.

The Doctor had been piloting the TARDIS and they had been chatting after an adventure that had seen them caught up in the Lisbon earthquake of 1755, when he had begun to idly rummage in his jacket pockets. That was normal, often he’d find the strangest things in there, things that couldn’t possibly fit into a regular pocket. She had wondered if the jacket itself was some kind of wearable TARDIS.

He had pulled out an innocuous-seeming white paper bag from one of the pockets. He opened it, humming in delight. Katarina and Steven had looked up, curious to see what had excited him so.

In between his fingers he held a shiny bead. The Doctor began to pull at it and she realised it wasn’t a bead but a wrapper of some kind. She remembered thinking how decadent the wrapper was for something so small. In his hand lay a small, shiny, sticky-looking golden-brown disc.

“Are those toffees?” Steven asked.

“Yes, my boy, I had forgotten I’d taken a bag of them from one of the stalls at the Toymakers fair! I wonder what they taste like.” he went to put it in his mouth.

“Doctor!” Katarina reached her hand across the console “I don’t think it’s wise to eat food that was created by such a wicked God.” How the Doctor could be so reckless was beyond her.

You could not be careless around such beings, nor with any gifts they bestowed on you. Or items stolen from them, as was the case with the toffee sweets. It was a cardinal rule in any interaction a mortal had with the the Gods. Even a gift that seemed to be a blessing at first could wreak havoc upon the lives of the mortals it touched.

“I think Katarina has a point, I don’t want to know what food made by the Toymaker would do to you.” Steven said, rubbing the back of his head, as though trying to ward off a headache. He sighed, sounding like a parent trying to bargain with their child “Maybe-“

“Hmph, nonsense, you two worry too much! Now, I am going to enjoy this sweet!” The Doctor side-eyed them before popping it in his mouth, smiling until he bit down. In an instant, his easy demeanour vanished and he cried out in pain. Doubling over, he fell to his knees and clutched his jaw.

They rushed over to him, where he remained bent over from the pain. She had been afraid that the sweet had poison in it, a poison that no mortal could cure. For several terrifying moments, all she could do was watch him clutch at his face in agony.

But once they had all managed to calm down and the Doctor had been able to speak again, they realised that it had not poisoned him. It had, however, chipped one of his teeth. And so began their quest to find a dentist.

…

There were many English idioms Katarina had come to like. One that stood out to her had always been ‘Sing for your supper’ on account of how fun it was to say. While she hadn’t expected to literally experience this idiom, she shouldn’t have been so surprised considering some of the things she’d experienced with the Doctor.

When they had been hauled up on stage, in some ways it hadn’t been much different to finding themselves cornered by a hostile alien. So though they were barely prepared to perform, they nevertheless began to perform as though it had been their dream to sing to a mildly hostile audience.

Despite the tense atmosphere in the saloon and the exhaustion that was setting in after repeat performances, Katarina found herself enjoying it, because really it was just storytelling. For her, stories had not been the quiet calm of reading a novel. For her storytelling was in the tone, the movements, the way the audience reacted. Her uncle, a master at storytelling, had told her that a bad story could move an audience if it was told in an entertaining way. On stage, spinning the tale with her voice, the movements, the music, it felt a little bit like she was home.

Steven hammered away on the piano, and she wondered when he had learned. He’d never mentioned it before. Then again, he’d never been near a piano in all the time she’d known him. Either way, it was lucky he had some skill with the instrument. The patrons stared at them and it was hard to tell if they were in any moved by the song or Steven’s playing, but she had glimpsed a tapping foot or two during their second rendition. The slow thawing of the audience only made her performance bolder, determined to get the whole room swept up in the story of the Last Chance Saloon.

They reached the end of the song and she let herself catch her breath. No one said anything but the cowboys all nodded. She returned it and took a deep breath, ready for another attempt. Anything to keep the glaring cowboys placated.

“Look, couldn’t we try a different song?” Steven threw his arms up, his irritation finally overcoming his self-preservation instinct, though thankfully not his improvised (yet adequate) American accent. Was performing really a worse fate than a bullet?

“Once more then!” one of the cowboys, Phineas, called out, his brothers quickly joined in, heckling them. From what she had gathered, the Clanton brothers were not to be crossed and she was more than ready to begin again but Steven abruptly stood up, the stool nearly toppling with the force of it. Phineas and his brothers heckling grew louder and they came closer to Steven, itching for a fight.

Katarina took a step forward but Steven put his arm out. She glared up at him, but he was oblivious to her ire, completely focused on the men who were about ready to rough him up. Despite being outmatched, he didn’t seem prepared to stand down.

As much as she loved him, Katarina could understand why he had gone to war with the protection of a flying machine. He would have been eviscerated has he really been a soldier, Greek or Trojan. She leant over his arm and put on what she hoped was a sweet, disarming smile.

“We’re happy to perform again, after all, we’re the strangers here!” Katarina announced before she nudged Steven, hard. He practically jumped at her jab, but it did the trick. Steven stood down, perhaps finally realising he could not reason with the end of a gun. He sat back down at the piano and they began again. She had cheated death far too many times to die over an unsung song.

Before they could get back into the flow of a song, a woman threw open the doors. She stood in the doorway and took in the scene, irritation radiating from her.

“Now what’s going on here?” the woman said to the bartender as she strode in, her words needle sharp, Katarina could practically see the scrapes the words left on the skin of the men ”Okay now boys, put them guns away. Now, Charlie, got yourself a new singer maybe?” her voice softened just a bit, but the sharpness lay just beneath. Katarina was a little bit in awe.

“Why, why no, Kate, it’s just that these gentlemen-“ Charlie said in a weak attempt at placating her.

It made for a farcical performance, the way the patrons, the Clanton brothers included, immediately deferred to Kate, their weapons forgotten in the face of her unimpressed glances and no-nonsense questioning.

Like a queen reasserting her position at court, she took her place beside the piano, giving Katarina a look not unlike Cassandra would give her handmaidens after spilling a drop of water or fumbling a candle slightly or well, anything really. She’d faced worse than a disgruntled singer, so she turned towards the audience and smiled.

“Yee haw!” she said and gave a perfect bow. Steven yanked her off stage, nearly lifting her off her feet with the force of his pull.

“What was that for?” she turned to him, rubbing her arm.

“Katarina that is not how you use the phrase ‘yee-haw’” Steven said, still using his American accent.

“But you said cowboys use it all the time-“

“Well, they use it in more specific circumstances.”

The woman, Kate, now aiming a gun towards them, looked between Katarina and Steven. Her lips pursed from trying to hold in a laugh. It completely changed her bearing, almost negating the threat from the gun.

“You ain’t from around here, are you?” Kate tilted her head, the gun still aimed, though she sounded more curious than wary.

“Well, no,” Steven said, slipping back into in his natural accent.

Kate poked the gun at his stomach and gestured to the piano. She looked at Steven with a coy smirk, the type that Eirene and her other friends had given the soldiers they considered the most dashing. The gun somehow added to the effect, and Katarina could see Steven lean towards Kate slightly, despite himself.

Surely some of it had to be a performance on Kate’s part. It was like when Eirene saw a boy and said she had burning passion for him, it couldn’t be that literal, it simply couldn’t. Kate gestured and he sat. She lingered above him for just a few seconds, smirking with delight.

“Well then, show me what you got.” Kate said, egging him on. Steven looked around desperately looking for an escape but it was too late for him.

Katarina smirked, gently pushing him towards the stool before declaring, “You’re in luck, he’s the best piano player this side of the Alamo!”

She bowed out, smirking at Steven as she backed away. His glare could have killed a person where they stood, and she had to cover her mouth to stop herself from laughing. He had to know she wouldn’t have made him do it if she really thought Kate would shoot him.

The music once again started up and Kate began performing, her bombastic style drawing all attention to her. Steven actually looked as though he were enjoying himself as he pounded away on the piano, swept up in the energy of Kate’s performance.

Katarina was so caught up in watching them that she nearly missed the Doctor coming into the saloon. She was relieved to see that his pallor was no longer deathly pale, and the swagger and confidence of his walk did not suggest someone who had recently been in mortal peril. His ease was infectious; Steven stood up from the piano as soon as he noticed him, and Kate didn’t seem to mind that her performance had been cut off so abruptly. The Doctor waved at them, as sprightly as he’d ever been.

“Well played Steven my boy. Yes and you, too, my dear. Excellent, really I’d no idea.” The Doctor said, nodding in approval at the performance. It was nice to see him give Steven a direct compliment.

“Wow, that dentist must have been really good, he seems completely better.” she said to Steven, coming over to his side. It was a marvel what medicine could do in the far future. Perhaps not as miraculous as the pills that had revived Steven but it was still a wonder to see him recovered so quickly.

“How bad were the Trojan dentists?” Steven raised an eyebrow, less impressed with the quality of dentistry on offer in Tombstone.

“Well we didn’t have dentists, healers took care of all tooth-related matters. You know, my father got a tooth of his pulled before he met my mama and he lived a long and healthy life. It wasn’t his pulled tooth that killed him in the end.” As she said this her eyes briefly narrowed into a glare, but the moment passed, receding back into memory.

“Think I’d take my chances with my rotting tooth if I’m being honest.” Steven said wryly, raising an eyebrow at her. Of course, he would be the type to simply suffer a chipped tooth.

The Doctor had been pulled into a conversation with one of the cowboys, Harper. Steven drifted over towards them and joined in but she hung back, sensing it was not a conversation she would be welcome in.

As much as she loved the excitement and chaos of the adventures the Doctor led her and Steven into, she relished those moments in which she could simply observe the strange worlds around her. The highlight of this world had to be the hats, their brims were wide enough to balance several dinner plates.

At some point the Doctor began to lose control of the conversation, the agitation of the cowboys dragging her attention towards their conversation. She found herself thinking of a black hole and how Steven had told her how it sucked in all around it. Slowly everyone in the room was pulled in by the growing ire against the Doctor, some seeming genuinely enraged by his existence, others merely pouncing on the opportunity to let loose their anger.

“And the ‘right people’ would happen to be your friend Wyatt Earp?” Ike drawled, staring down the Doctor.

“Er, he’s not my friend, no. I would rather call him a casual travelling acquaintance.” The Doctor said, stumbling on his words as the seriousness of the situation began to dawn on him.

“That’s not the way I heard it.” Phineas chimed in. The other cowboys backed him up, drawing in and surrounding the Doctor.

“Wyatt Earp and Doc Holliday. The bottle-puncher lawman and the good-for-nothing drunken gambler.” Billy proclaimed.

The Doctor desperately tried to convince the men that he was not Doc Holliday, but his usual twinkling charm did not work on them. The men only became angrier the more he tried to reason with them.

She and Steven just looked at each other, because as they said in the Wild West, this wasn’t their first rodeo. All she could do was watch as it escalated beyond anyone’s control. It took some effort not to intervene, being passive was no longer as instinctual as it once had been.

As the Doctor was led away she felt not so much a sense of dread as a sense of exasperation. How did he manage to find trouble in nearly every place they landed? The Gods seemed to enjoy seeing this man land himself in dangerous situation after dangerous situation.

“Katarina, go back up to the room, it’s not safe.” Steven tugged at her sleeve, trying to pull her towards the stairs.

“I’m not leaving him down here when everyone is so, trigger-happy, as you’d say.” she said. Not that she had any idea what she would do if they started shooting but there was no way she was leaving him at the mercy of those men and their guns. Sometimes it was impossible to make him see sense.

“There’s nothing you can do down here, please, just go upstairs and wait.” He lookedhe looked as though he was trying not to put his hand on his forehead, and her annoyance grew, because it was exactly what her mama would do when she was small and bombarding her with questions. But Katarina was now a grown woman and well able to handle herself in such a situation.

“Now that’s not true, I mightn’t be able to fight, but there’s plenty I can do!” Sshe drew herself up, her stance as intimidating and looming as she could make it, though the effect was negligible as Steven was ridiculously tall.

He gently steered her towards the stairs. It was impossible to wriggle out of his grasp, if she’d grown up with enough food to eat she would’ve had the strength to. He’d had the unfair advantage of a steady supply of food during his childhood and military training on top of that. She could still glare at him, at least, something she'd carefully honed. Steven ducked his face, mildly ashamed at forcing her to go upstairs.

She ended up in a room with Kate and with little else to do upstairs, she ended up braiding Kate’s hair. Her years as a handmaiden had left her an expert on many elaborate up-dos. However, Kate was at least better company than Cassandra. Their conversation started off light enough, but Katarina couldn’t help but ask about Kate and Doc Holliday.

“There’s not a lot to say,” said Kate, her voice nonchalant. “We’ve been together for a long while now. Eventually we’ll get married. Maybe when all this blows over.”.

“Doc Holliday doesn’t seem… like the kindest person.” Katarina gently twisted the strands of Kate’s hair. She saw Kate’s reflection raise an eyebrow. “Look, I’ve seen my friends make too many foolish choices. Is he really the right man?” That was the thing about floating in and out of various time periods, it was easy to voice your thoughts when you knew you wouldn’t be there for long.

“You’re sweet,” she seemed more bemused than anything by Katarina’s concern “I saw the way you were pushing Steven onto me.” Kate turned her head slightly and Katarina saw the edge of her smirk.

“That’s not me being sweet, I like seeing him squirm, he’s far too honourable for his own good.” Katarina laughed, though, that was not entirely true. She wanted to see him smiling, without that forlorn gaze on his face, the way he had been when she had first met him.

“He tries you know, Doc, he does,” she looked down, her bravado vanished. “I swear, underneath that tough guy act, he has a good heart, really.”

Before Katarina could respond, she heard the beginnings of a mob, the words of the angry mob lost as they coalesced into one massive roar. Kate stood abruptly and together the two of them went over to see what was happening.

Doc Holliday burst into the room just as they reached the window. He grabbed them both, steering them away from the window and the view of the braying mob.

“Come on, we’re leaving.” he said.

“I’m not leaving with you. My friends are out there!”

“That mob is baying for blood, we’re not staying here.” he said, as though they were the biggest threat to her, not the man with a gun pointed at her.

“I can’t, I am not abandoning them. Have you no-” she pleaded, but her words died when he took out his gun and pointed it at her.

“Look, your friends will be safe with Wyatt, trust me. I go out there and try to take them on I’ll be ripped apart and if you don’t go they’ll just take their anger out on you, they’re not the types to act chivalrously towards a lady.”

She tried to form some sort of argument but after a minute she simply nodded in acquiescence. There was little use in arguing with a man with a weapon aimed at her.

As she left with Doc Holliday and Kate, she could only pray that the Doctor and Steven wouldn’t land themselves in too much trouble before she could find her way back to them.

…

Doc Holliday was not the type of man to simply let her walk free. He had promised that they would return to Tombstone, but he kept delaying. She couldn’t blame him, but his fate would catch up with him some day. But she did not have the time to wait around for his fate, she had her own to follow.

She waited until they had fallen asleep and crept away. Her years as a handmaiden had trained her to function on little sleep, she was confident she could trek through the desert back to the Doctor and Steven.

She oriented herself using constellations, formations long forgotten in this time period. They were a comforting presence on Earth where she had some distance from them. As she walked, she thought of her uncle using those same stars for navigation whenever he was at sea on the merchant ship he served on. In the vast and bleak landscape, the thoughts of home were a comfort.

She told herself the legends tied to the constellations as she walked, trying not to think of what Doc Holliday would do once he awoke and found her gone. Šanta, the God of Death, shadowed her once again but it had become easy to ignore his presence. Her fate lay with the Doctor and that belief banished all her fears of Doc Holliday and the dangers that the desert held.

After hours of walking she heard hoofbeats behind her. She stopped and turned. She blinked, the rising sun startlingly bright. Two figures on horseback were coming towards her and for a few seconds it seemed as though they were riding out of the sun itself, glorious warriors of Tiwad. But her eyes adjusted and she saw that it the riders were Doc Holliday and Kate. She may as well be facing heavenly warriors of Tiwad for how prepared she was to face them.

Doc Holliday brought his horse to a stop beside her. He looked more bemused than angry, she could only hope that was a good sign.

“Where do you think you’re going?” He nodded down at her, as though he had bumped into her at the fish stall at the market.

“Back to the Doctor and Steven.” She drew herself up again like she had with Steven, which was even less effective because the horse was staggeringly tall.

“Are you some kind of fool? Just wandering out into the desert? You could have gotten lost or bitten by a snake-“

“Met with bandits.” Kate added.

“There’s a lot of ways to die out here, what were you thinking? Do you have a death wish?”

“No, but I’ve become well-acquainted with it.” she had a feeling a man like Doc would respect an answer like that.

It seemed to stun him into silence anyway. He stared down at her, his mouth briefly twitching into the beginnings of a frown, but he regained his composure.

“Well, you won’t be meeting with death today. We’re heading back to Tombstone. Realised that as I followed you that I can’t outrun them forever. And I couldn’t let you just wander the desert.” He sighed wearily. “I suppose there’s no running from this confrontation, is there?”

“There’s no escaping your fate, though it may lead you to surprising places.” If only they knew that the American desert was probably one of the most normal places she’d been in a while.

Doc Holliday made a noise that was caught between a laugh and a sigh. Shaking his head, he joked “You’re a strange one, you know that?”

“Stranger in a strange land, I’ve found that expression sums me up rather well.” Katarina said, blinking at the endless sand, her mind briefly struggling to believe that this was really her and she was really there on the endless plane of sand.

“Can we please get a move on?” Kate interrupted, giving them both a withering stare “It’s all well and good to philosophise about destiny and all but we don’t have enough water for that.” She shook the canteens at them, the weak sloshing emphasising her point.

Doc Holliday helped Katarina up onto Kate’s horse. On the list of ways to travel, she ranked it below the TARDIS but above the transmat from the year 4000. She’d sometimes passed the palace stables while on an errand for Cassandra and she’d always thought the riders on the horses looked tense, as though afraid that if they moved at the wrong moment that the horse would buck them off.

One very jolty, bumpy ride later, they arrived in Tombstone. Nothing could have kept her away, her fate was tethered to theirs, for better or for worse.

…

The Doctor had been asked to try and prevent the showdown from happening and had been promoted to Deputy-Sheriff to aid with his efforts. He had been relieved to see Katarina, if a little annoyed she had left the supposedly safe company of Doc Holliday and Kate. He hadn’t stayed annoyed for too long, he knew that there would be no persuading her to stay away. Currently, they were rushing to the house where the Clanton’s were holed up. She could only hope they wouldn’t try to shoot them as soon as they spotted them.

Despite the increasing likelihood that everything would end in a violent confrontation, the Doctor was confident he could resolve it peacefully.

“Do you think these men will listen?” she asked, trying not to sound too sceptical. She had seen enough to violence to know that attempting to stop it was like trying to halt the course of the wind itself.

“They’ll see sense my dear! Why I was only in jail yesterday and today I’m the Deputy-Sheriff of the town!” he chuckled at this turn of events, delighted by the mysterious turns his path had taken, as though the danger he’d been in during his time here was as much of an amusing occurrence as his promotion.

“It’s hard to persuade men bound by a warrior’s idea of honour. Or, whatever creed the Clanton’s believe themselves to be bound by.”

To her the Clanton’s seemed to live by their own code, one that they believed allowed them to terrorise Tombstone as they pleased. They were the worst kind of men, acting violently simply because they could. Not that Doc Holliday had done much to endear himself to her either, emergency tooth surgery aside. He didn’t even make for a great travelling companion.

All in all, when considering Tombstone, she was not endeared by the dusty town. If the people had been half as charming as the well-worn buildings it might have been pleasant. As it was she felt ready to collapse into a sweaty heap. The singing had been somewhat fun. But even that had involved her and Steven being held at gunpoint.

“Well, my dear, the laws of the Wild West are complex, they rely on honour, the actions deemed acceptable by that code may seem dishonourable to us, but trust me my dear, they are only acting according to their own laws.” The Doctor said, gesticulating as he explained the grand ideals the people here adhered to.

“Didn’t Doc Holliday try to set you up?” she asked, unable to hide her scepticism any longer. The Doctor seemed fine but she wondered if the surgery had affected him more than he let on. But he seemed as alert as he ever had.

“As I said my dear, the Wild West is a strange place. I suppose in return for my surgery, it is only fair that I helped Doc Holliday. To us the way I had to help was to take his place, but that is the way of the Wild West.” He nodded, satisfied with his own logic.

Katarina could only stare at the ground, trying to process the logic of the Wild West as told by the Doctor. For such a wise being, the Doctor could be awfully naïve about humans. She was beginning to suspect it wasn’t always fate that landed them in peril near-constantly.

Even if it did mean she’d had to trek across the desert and her feet felt about ready to drop off the ends of her legs, she trusted the Doctor. But that didn’t stop her dreaming of a cold bath.

Though first they had to try and reason with the Clanton’s, the Gods really were trying them. Quite frankly she was more focused on not collapsing on the spot. She wondered if it would be too much to hope that the Clanton’s had some water. Or a well she could sneak a drink out of.

“Are we sure that they can be reasoned with? Should we not just attempt to rescue Steven?” At this point she was worried that the Doctor would lose more than a tooth if he tried to intervene with the Clanton’s.

“You worry too much my dear! Your fate is not as doom-filled as you seem to think, your Gods seem to protect you, there’s no reason to think they won’t now.” he said, as though he personally knew the Gods themselves.

Her faith was being tested, her clothes were drenched in sweat, there was a chance they were about to get shot at. Yet she was still called by the irresistible pull of adventure? What would happen when the Doctor knocked on the Clanton’s door? It hadn’t seemed the Clanton’s had listened to reason so far but the Doctor had found a way out of much worse situations.

Maybe he could make the Clantons see reason after all.

…

The conversation had not gone in the direction the Doctor had hoped, and so ended his brief career as Deputy-Sheriff of Tombstone. They had at least reunited with Steven, who was not worse for wear after his time with the Clanton’s. Well, not any worse for wear than he usually was.

The trio stood by the house, taking a few moments to rest in its shade. They had not immediately followed the Clanton’s, all of them worn out from everything that had happened. It was the first time they’d all actually had time to just talk.

“Well, having spent several hours with them I don’t think there’s anything you could have really said to dissuade them from engaging in a shootout.” Steven said, staring down the dusty street where the Clanton’s had strode down to confront Doc Holliday and Wyatt Earp.

“Sometimes you have to try, even if you know success is nearly impossible.” The Doctor leaned against the shack, weary from the heat and chasing everyone around. He took down a poster and began to fan himself, though it only really stirred the hot, dead air up into their faces.

“The futility does start to get to you after a while, though.” Steven said quietly, averting their gazes. She looked at the Doctor, who looked as uneasy as she felt.

“That’s very philosophical of you.” Katarina said, trying to break the silence. She hoped she had pronounced it right. English was a slippery language, full of strange sounds and even stranger rules. Steven gave her a half-hearted smile, not even bothering to tell her whether she had gotten it right. She knew what she had to say. “And at least you had fun with Kate,” she smirked up at him. She had spent years studying interactions like that, she knew what all the subtle glances and tone changes meant, so she wasn’t wrong. Kate in particular was skilful at it, at least from all that she had observed.

“Katarina, playing piano with a woman does not mean that I want to go on a date with her.” Steven had turned towards her, giving her his full attention as he tried to defend himself. While she knew well that only Kate had showed any interest, she liked to see Steven mildly flustered. It was better than him staring off into nothing.

“We don’t have time for this silly nonsense, what’s the matter with you two?” The Doctor shook his head and Katarina and Steven just looked at each other.

“I think it’s all the sand that got to us, it seems like there’s little else to do in such a dry place. The dry seasons in Troy were, well, they were rough.” Katarina remembered how snippy everyone got, especially those who did not have a servant to fan them.

“It’s hardly because of the dryness of the desert-“ he began to laugh slightly.

“They made us sing at gunpoint Steven, it’s the heat Steven, it’s the heat.” She punctured his laugh with a careful raise of the eyebrow that would have felled lesser men. Just because she was from his ancient past, didn’t mean she didn’t know a thing or two.

“Not sure that was because of the dryness…” He trailed off, shaking his head. “I mean, whatever the cause, there’s no denying that there’s something in the air here. I mean this whole conflict seems a bit pointless. Sure they’ll kill Doc Holliday and avenge their brother but then someone else will want revenge…”

“They have no rules of honour to guide their actions. In Troy we fought for our city, our people, we did not commit violence for the sake of it.” Katarina said, looking down the dusty street. It seemed to her as if there was precious little to even fight for in Tombstone, it was all just pointless violence.

“You know, having seen war myself, I’m not so sure it’s any different, it’s all just endless cycles of fighting,” Steven said, shaking his head “Well, except that it’s a lost dustier here.” He coughed for effect, swatting at a little cloud of sand that had been tossed up by a warm breeze.

“He’s right, they are fighting for something. We may not see a point in it, but this is their whole world, we must remember that. Though, I wish it did not involve so many guns or questionable dentistry practices.” The Doctor shook his head and tutted, as though the guns and questionable dentistry were minor annoyances.

“We’ll find you a better dentist who can properly check that tooth out for you, I don’t even want to know how they got that tooth out.” Steven said, giving a shudder at the thought of Tombstone’s dental care. While he was correct, that it was perhaps not the best dental care in the universe, he didn’t know how good the care was used to if he felt that Tombstone’s quality of dental care was dismal on an interdimensional scale.

“I suppose it would be a good idea to get another dentist to make sure all is well.” While Tombstone’s dental care did not seem so bad to her, she was glad that they would have other options. She couldn’t help but wonder if there was more to the Doctor’s behaviour than the chipped tooth and its removal.

“Yes, yes, that sounds like a plan but we are not quite finished here yet. Let us go to the scene of the shootout, we may be able to stop them yet” the Doctor said, though he sounded uncertain. Steven meanwhile seemed about ready to drop on the spot.

She knew it wouldn’t stop them, but they needed an extra push before they set off for the duel. She adjusted her hat and with the most serious look she could muster she said “Yee haw.”

The Doctor and Steven couldn’t help but smile.

“There, I’ve learned how to correctly use yee haw.” she grinned and tipped her hat at them.

“You’re a true cowboy now Katarina.” Steven tipped her hat and she had to jump up to swat him away.

That was how they set off for the duel, three intrepid explorers facing off against fate once again, her hat askew but still firmly on her head.

Chapter Text

After over a year of learning, Katarina was finally able to read. The words on the page made sense after months of patient lessons, for the most part. There were still unfamiliar words and strange sentences she had to write down to ask the Doctor or Steven about, but books and the English language in general made sense to her now. Mostly.

Reading was an altogether a different way of experiencing a story than the bombastic storytellers she had grown up watching. She’d come to appreciate the quiet of simply telling yourself a story. In her mind, Luwian was the language of storytelling, of loud epics that made themselves heard. English was an altogether much quieter language, with it she associated stillness and stories that wrapped you in their embrace. It was a haven, a language she could retreat into and use to understand the strange, new world she found herself in

Curled up in a plush armchair, book balanced on a cushion on her lap, she imagined this was what it felt like to lay in a nest. The TARDIS hummed gently in the background, its presence brushing contentedly against her mind every so often.

Some days the books would completely absorb her, her mind devoted to the task of trying to understand the sentences and building a picture of the story in her mind. But only on some days.

Troy, everything it was and never would be again always loomed in the back of her mind, a shadow encroaching upon a sunlit room. There was only so much a new language could do to shield her from it. Troy was in her very bones, it had made her, and sometimes it felt like it would be her undoing.

She closed her book and stretched, getting ahead of the grief that was creeping in. As she was preparing to go and search for Steven and the Doctor, there was a knock on her door. She opened it to find Steven standing there with his teddy, HiFi, as though sent by the Gods to save her from her despair.

“Is everything alright?” she asked, gesturing to HiFi who lay limply in Stevens arms.

“I’ve come because I need to ask you for your help, well, for HiFi really.” Steven said and she stepped aside to let him into her room.

“He has a tear in him.” Steven gently lifted HiFi’s left arm to reveal a long, thin gash running down his side.

“Ouch, how did he get that?” she reached out and stroked the fur beside the gash, as though it was a grievous battle wound.

“Wear and tear, the old boy’s been through a lot.” Steven said, gently setting him down on her desk.

“Haven’t we all” said Katarina solemnly, adjusting his body as though to make him more comfortable. Teddy bears were among her favourite things from the future. She’d had a rag doll as a child and it had been her steadfast companion. But the soft toy animals were adorable in a different way. It was something about their tiny sewn smiles and little bead eyes, the way the creatures of the natural world were rendered so carefully by human hands.

“I don’t trust my sewing skills enough to mend him.” Steven said, laying him on her desk. He pulled up a chair while Katarina rifled through her sewing kit for her spools of black and white thread. The white thread was in its usual compartment but the black thread was proving more difficult to find.

She had acquired the box in 18th century Lisbon and like all things she had encountered from that century it was elaborate in every way, the painstakingly painted box divided by dozens of tiny compartments that hid yet more compartments.

“It appears I have run out of black thread. Either that or its found its way into a drawer so hidden even I can’t find it.” she stood staring at the box, hands on hips “Looks like we’ll have to search the TARDIS for some. Will HiFi survive the journey?”

“I think he’ll make it.” Steven said, adjusting the panda teddy in his arms. With HiFi secure in Steven’s arms, they set off into the TARDIS.

Beyond the console room lay a labyrinth. They all called it a ship but it was not structured like the ships that had lined Troy’s docks. Corridors sprawled and snaked and wound, sprawling out like the roots of some enormous tree. It was not really a ship or even a building, no, it was a self-contained world of its own.

“Will this lead us to the thread?” she asked Steven, as they made their way down a meandering ramp. The constant, subtle curving of the corridor was disorienting, when she looked back she could not see the corridor they had entered from.

“I’m certain we have to go this way.” Steven said, pausing at a junction that branched off into three passages.

“And you’re sure about that?” she said, frowning. She’d had to go to the storage rooms a few times but she never remembered having to use a ramp to get to them.

But Steven had gone on ahead and she had no choice to follow him. She only hoped that he knew where he was going.

…

They were deep within the TARDIS and were very, very lost. Steven had initially gotten them lost and she had taken over, confident in her ability to find her way through the TARDIS. She’d been so sure that she’d come to know the TARDIS, but beyond the confines of the console room and the bedroom corridor, it was a different realm entirely.

Down in the depths of the TARDIS she had the sense of being entrapped within something utterly alien. In the endless, glaring white corridors the presence of the TARDIS seemed to grow louder. It no longer brushed against the back of her mind but firmly entrenching itself amongst her thoughts.

When her eyes could take the glare of the white, she peered down each corridor, as though carefully considering her options. It had been some time since they had seen any doors and she wasn’t certain that the corridors they found themselves in were even meant for people to walk in.

In Troy there had been an area in each Temple hidden behind a curtain, a sacred area. She imagined that this was what it would be like to have pulled back that curtain. There was something here that was not for them to understand. Though the TARDIS did not seem too angry that they were there, at least.

She avoided looking back at Steven in a weak attempt to hide her shame. It had all been well and good when she’d shaken her head and tutted at his lack of direction, only for her own sense of direction to utterly fail her.

“Are you sure it’s a good idea to keep going?” Steven asked, the mildest note of satisfied chastisement in his tone.

“Look, if we keep going we’ll find the storage closet soon enough, these corridors have to lead somewhere. No point in stopping in a random corridor.” she said, pleased with how convincing she had sounded.

“I think that’ll only get us more lost at this stage. We don’t know what’s down here or which way to go, I think we should wait here for the Doctor to find us.” Steven knew her too well. She turned around to find him running his hand down through his hair, grimacing at their situation.

“He doesn’t even know that we went to search for thread, I think it’s best we keep moving, sooner or later we’ll have to find a way out.” she winced at how her pitch was beginning to creep up into a whine. Whenever she tried to assert herself with him it always felt like it she was trying to plead with her parents.

“But he’ll notice soon enough and as you’ve said yourself, the TARDIS is an all-powerful entity that he seems to know how to communicate with, I dare say it’ll lead him here.” Steven said, taking her beliefs about the TARDIS seriously for once. Of course he’d take it seriously to prove a point.

She sighed and turned to face him at last. “You’re right, I suppose it probably would be better just to wait here for him to find us.” She sighed, her cheeks burning at her failure.

Still, she was glad that they would get to rest. While she’d grown much stronger thanks to a consistent supply of food and plenty of running, her body had never quite stopped struggling with all the physical activity. As she sank down against the wall, she tried not to make it too obvious how much of a relief it was.

She hoped that they wouldn’t be here too long. She was pretty sure the TARDIS would not let them stay lost for an extended period of time, the TARDIS was a strange and unknowable being. Just as they could not truly comprehend the TARDIS, the TARDIS could not truly comprehend them. She just hoped the TARDIS led the Doctor to them before they began to starve

Katarina leaned back against the wall and closed her eyes, the hum of the TARDIS receding slightly, returning to its usual soothing presence.

“You know, you don’t have to know everything all of the time.” She said after a period of silence, “I know I didn’t have the education you or the Doctor had, but I’m learning as fast as I can.”

“Katarina, I don’t think you’re stupid, I think you’re well capable of handling yourself in most of the situations we find ourselves in. I worry too much, just after everything… I want you to be safe. And you’re so young… you don’t need to take on all that responsibility on yourself.” Steven sighed fondly, his smile caught between worry and amusement.

“But you’re old enough to know everything and take on all those burdens o wise one?” she rolled her eyes affectionately, smirking at the gravitas he spoke with.

“Well, maybe not everything” he laughed slightly. “But even though you’re trying to deflect, my point still stands, you’re still a teenager.” he said, as though she hadn’t told him several times that there was no such thing as a teenager in Troy.

“I was a working woman Steven, I’m well able to take responsibility for myself and those around me, even if you think I am a child or a teenager or whatever it is you call it.” she said, feeling more like a child than ever. It was one of those statements where any denial weakened the truthfulness of the statement.

“Well you mightn’t be a teenager or a child but you’re definitely not a working woman anymore. So enjoy it.” he said gently, less patronisingly. She tilted her head, as if considering it, before she raised an eyebrow and replied “Only if you do the same.”

“Okay, deal” Steven nodded, sliding further down the wall in an exaggerated fashion. “I suppose we could both do with the rest.” He looked over at her, smiling, and made HiFi do a little wave with the arm on the unripped side.

“I never asked, where did you get HiFi? Was it in a shop?” she remembered that unlike with the toys she and her siblings had, none of his toys were handmade. Still, where HiFi came from didn’t make it any less loved.

“My parents bought him for me before I was born. He went everywhere with me, even now he just feels… comforting.” he said, stroking HiFis fur. “I know you didn’t have teddy bears but did you have that special toy? Some toy that you couldn’t be without?”

“Yes, a doll called Arma-wiya. Mama sewed her for me before I was born.” she was filled by an overwhelming feeling of longing for Arma-wiya “I used to wrap the strands of her hair around my fingers. It felt soothing, I always fell asleep winding her hair around my fingers.”

“Every night I’d always rub HiFi’s arm, I still do sometimes, on really bad nights.” he paused for a moment before speaking again “What happened to Arma-wiya, actually?” Steven asked, sounding curious and just a little bit concerned about her rag-doll. She had not thought of Arma-wiya this much in years, yet details came back to her with a startling clarity as though they had only been waiting for her to summon them.

“I gave her up some time after my tenth summer, a few years before I became a handmaiden for Cassandra. The first night without her was awful, I don’t think I felt like that again until my first night in the servants quarters in the palace.” Her shoulders slumped, that loneliness of that first night suddenly raw once more “I always thought it was ridiculous that I’d still think about her after all those years but seeing you with HiFi, I feel less foolish for still missing her sometimes.”

“I couldn’t have left HiFi behind even if I tried” he frowned, his gaze dropping to the floor. “He was my lifeline. I’d look at him and remember that I came from somewhere, that the cell on Mechanus wasn’t my whole existence.”

He rarely talked about his imprisonment on Mechanus. His grip on HiFi tightened, pressing the teddy against his stomach, as though he was trying to keep himself from unravelling.

“He really became more than a toy, didn’t he?” she spoke hesitantly, afraid that he would shy away from the topic if she said the wrong word.

“I really tried not to speak to HiFi. I was afraid if I did that I’d lose it completely. Every day it felt like I was on a ledge and I knew that one wrong step would send me over. But eventually I started speaking to HiFi because the silence was worse and it felt like the only way to stop myself from losing it altogether.”

For so long he had only ever shown his pain in his silence, in the way he held himself. It was strange to hear him speak so openly and freely about it, his halting words those of someone who did not quite have a full grasp of the language they were speaking.
“I don’t think speaking to HiFi was a weakness. He was your tether, your link to who you were and the world beyond. By speaking you could remind yourself of your own existence. It must have been so exhausting to keep yourself going for so long.” she said softly. In Troy, when she and her fellow handmaidens were drafted in to aid the overwhelmed healers after particularly brutal battles, she had noticed how some of the soldiers had held themselves. The way they had warily surveyed the room, bodies tensed up, poised to move at the slightest provocation. Steven had a similar look of wariness, the tension in his body evident.

“I’ve clawed my way back from the brink, but I think some part of me will always be there. It’s not like I’m afraid I’ll wake up and realise this was all a dream, more that I took the prison with me when I left. I don’t know, it’s like its spirit is with me or its presence, seeping into me…” he leaned back against the wall and sighed deeply, as if trying to expel the memories from his body.

“I think you’ll always carry it in some way.” she whispered. She briefly thought that Steven would say something, but he only looked at her, waiting for her to keep speaking.

“Troy will never leave me, I can’t escape it.” she continued haltingly, unable to stop now that she given voice to those thoughts “I wonder how any one person can even hold this much sorrow…” she gasped slightly as the grief wound itself around her “I don’t want to be haunted forever, I just want to live.” she rested her head on her knees, half-ashamed by her failure to comfort Steven, half-consumed by her grief yet again. She may have been chosen to survive by the Gods but she was not strong enough to carry the burden they had given her.

Steven came over and gently lowered himself down beside her. He wrapped an arm around her and gently pulled her into a hug. She leaned into him, the weight of everything easing off her.

“Me too.” he sighed gently, and Katarina thought they were going to sink into another comfortable silence when he spoke again. “One day when I was lost in those thoughts, I realised it had been a year since the Doctor had found me. And then I remembered everything that’s happened to me since then. Life goes on. I still think about it, and maybe I always will, but now when I find myself being pulled in by a spiral of those thoughts, I make myself think about everything that’s happened since. It helps.”

“A whole life spent grieving…” she had hoped that if she were indeed destined to live, that she would eventually find some sort of peace. The thought of living with that grief made her limbs grow heavy. She wanted to honour her city and its people without becoming trapped by it. There had been so much beauty in Troy and she was afraid that its memory would be smothered by all the sorrow.

Steven looked at her and whispered gently “You’ll meet new people and go on adventures and there’ll be more than just grief.”

“I try to remember what my mama said and be grateful the Gods gave me any time with my family or Eirene or Sara at all but…” when her mama had said it she had not imagined Troy being reduced to rubble, a whole world destroyed.

“Sara..” Steven whispered, lost in his own thoughts. For a few moments they sat there in silence, the enormity of the loss overwhelming them. It was not as lonely as it usually was with Steven there, at least.

Perhaps it was the fact that there was someone there with her, but she had a sudden need to talk. It was as though she needed to push back, to summon some of these ghosts back to the realm of the living, if only briefly.

“If she could keep going every day, even though she was so lost, then so can I. I’m not sure how I would have survived those first few months without her.” The grief that came with remembering had a different quality, its sharpest edges softened by all that the memories held.

“She was so fearless, I always saw how she pushed herself. But I think she was bravest when she opened up to us. It would have been easy for her to retreat, but she never did. She was incredible.” Steven said, smiling softly.

Soon they were reminiscing not just about Sara but about their travels, too. The memory of each place pierced through the layers of grief like beams of sunlight sent down by Tiwad.

“Sometimes I just stop and think to myself about how incredible this all is. When I reflect an adventure or a planet, there’s always something to new to pick over, I find. I’m not sure I’ll ever really understand just how truly wonderful this all is, sometimes it’s all just too much in the best way possible”

“I felt like that when I first turned on the tap in the bathroom next to my room. I thought that the Doctor had somehow created a river for that room.” she still had a brief moment of surprise that first moment when the water gushed out of a tap she turned on. All the wonder of her travels lay in moments like that, the revelation of something startling and impossible.

“That’s what invoked a sense of wonder for you? A tap.” Steven looked at her incredulously.

She gave him her most withering stare “Not all of us grew up in a world with running water in our homes, do you know how strange that is?”

“Okay I did fail to consider that to you running water would be a miracle. Now that I think about it, the whole idea of running water is pretty incredible.” he conceded. She nudged his arm, smiling and shaking her head.

“All is forgiven” she said, leaning back. Maybe it would get easier. They remained there in the easy silence, content to let it be. It was only broken when they heard footsteps approaching.

“What are you two doing?” The Doctor said, relieved “It’s nearly impressive how far you two managed to wander! I was beginning to worry, but the TARDIS would never let you come to harm.” She and Steven stood up, stretching out their stiff legs. How long had they sat there?

“We got very lost looking for thread.” Steven held up HiFi and lifted his fingers away to reveal the tear in HiFi’s side.

“Ah, I remember that fellow!” The Doctor said, peering at the tear. His face turned grave as he inspected HiFis wound “Yes, we must go and find some thread at once.”

The Doctor began walking once again and she and Steven had to dash slightly to avoid losing sight of him. It at least meant their legs quickly lost their stiffness.

“I still don’t understand how you two got yourselves so lost!” the Doctor shook his head, chuckling to himself. From the way he was laughing, it was as though they were two adorable little dogs who had knocked over a bowl of fruit.

“All the corridors look identical. The palace in Troy was the same, it took me and Eirene months to learn the layout. You’d need a lifetime to learn the layout of the TARDIS corridors.”

She was at least glad that no one was going to reprimand her for getting lost. In the palace, time had taken on an urgency, there seemed to be so little of it, days sometimes barely felt as though they had happened. But the Doctor seemed to slow time down, those moments of wonder and beauty stretch on and on. Each moment spent with him and Steven were something vivid and precious.

“Ah yes, I forget that your senses aren’t quite as refined as mine. Well never mind that, come along and we’ll find some thread for the little fellow.” The Doctor said, regarding them with mild curiosity. Before they could respond, he turned and began walking.

The trio fell silent as the Doctor seemed to walk down corridors at random. How he knew which corridor to go down she would never understand. Walking through the TARDIS corridors had a soothing effect, now that she knew she was being led in the right direction..

Maybe it would be an endless cycle, times where the grief would nearly smother her. And then it would recede, settling itself beside her, pulling and pushing against her like the tides in the sea. But she could move with those tides, learning their rhythm.

After a while of her and Steven being lost in their thoughts, the Doctor began turning his head and peering back at them, looking concerned. Katarina smiled gently, but it didn’t seem to reassure him.

“You two are very quiet.” The Doctor said lightly, but it fell flat, neither Katarina or Steven quite sure how to answer him “Whatever it is, well, I’m sure that it is nothing to worry about, hm?”

“We were just remembering,” Steven observed, “So much has happened to us and while we were waiting for you we just started talking about everything. I think we both needed to just make sense of it all.”

They fell into what Katarina thought was an easy silence, the Doctor’s worries hopefully assuaged. Strange; she always dreaded speaking about what made her uncomfortable and yet when she did it, she always felt so much lighter. She didn’t notice that the Doctor kept glancing back at them with a worried frown, lost in her own thoughts.

“I know that I get you both into an awful lot of danger… I’d understand if you both would rather leave.” When he finished speaking, he came to a stop, like a wind-up toy that had lost its momentum.

“Where did this come from?” Steven asked, his voice gentle, speaking the way he would to a spooked animal.

“Neither of you are here willingly. I rescued you both, yes, but I’m not sure either of you are still here because you truly wish to be. And despite my attempts, we only seem to land in perilous situations. I don’t want either of you to feel as though you have to stay here as some debt to me or because you feel it is where you must be.”

The Doctor finally turned to look at them both, with fear in his gaze. It had always seemed as though grief, and fear, and all those monstrous feelings never took root within him, the enormity of it nothing in the face of his calm confidence. The foundations of her world stirred uneasily beneath that gaze, to see him so vulnerable. Instinctively, she reached out and took his arm.

“We want to be here. I could never have even hoped for a fate like this, to have seen the universe, to have met you, and Steven, and Sara… it’s the most remarkable thing that will ever happen to me.”

“I wouldn’t change any of this. Not even all the time we spend imprisoned. Or running from things that want to kill us.” Steven said, falling back easily on his usual snark, though she could hear the hint of worry that lay just beneath the surface.

The Doctor looked at them apprehensively, trying to use his sternness to mask his unease, with less success than Steven. It seemed impossible that a being such as him would be so petrified by petty emotions and fears. And yet, when he looked at them, it was as though he was afraid of breaking something fragile, as though their relationship with him was only as strong as one wrong word from him.

“Yet they always leave. That is the nature of humans, such short lifespans… they all leave, with their lives so short they… they will live their lives and forget me while I wander, they could not understand and I cannot understand them…” He trailed off and she wondered if he had forgotten that they were here.

The TARDIS hummed steadily in the silence. Katarina did not know how to comfort a being such as the Doctor. So she did what she usually did when met with a person in distress.

“You know, it does make it easier if you talk about it. My uncle would say that about stories, that by telling them they could diminish the terror that the dark corners of the world held.” she said softly.

“My dear, I’m not so sure the contents of my story could be diminished in the telling, not in the way you’re suggesting.” The Doctor said sadly.

“What do you have to lose if you do tell it?” Steven said softly. The Doctor remained silent and they were afraid he wouldn’t speak at all. How could they even try to understand? Yet she recognised his weariness from so many nights of grappling with her own grief and guilt, she hoped that she and Steven had reached that part of him that was so nearly human and in pain, hoped that he would see that he was not as alone as he thought he was.

His mouth was pressed into a thin line, unable to break the silence. But then he nodded. She and Steven glanced at each other, relieved and astonished that their coaxing had worked. The Doctor gestured for them to continue walking and they followed, waiting for him to begin his story.

“Very well, then. I’ll start from the beginning, on Earth in 1963 with my granddaughter, Susan...” he said hesitantly. She and Steven nodded gently when he looked back at them, and he began to tell it in earnest.

His words were chosen carefully and left much of his story vague. But even half the truth was better than him retreating into silence. Despite the lack of detail, it did not take for long for his story to take some unexpected turns.

“When Ian and Barbara barged their way into my time machine, I panicked, I wouldn’t call it a kidnapping-“ The Doctor recounted that part as though it were an unremarkable detail.

“What would you call it?” Steven shook his head in disbelief, his eyes practically popping out of his head.

“No my boy, did you not understand me, it was not a kidnapping. Rather, I happened to take off with some unexpected guests.” The Doctor waved his hand, dismissing Steven’s concerns. But Steven looked at Katarina, incredulous.

“By that definition he kidnapped me, Steven” Katarina said with a shrug. Having travelled with the Doctor for over a year, the bizarre and wondrous had long since gone from being incomprehensible to familiar and expected. In the world the Doctor had led her into, him kidnapping people almost seemed like a heroic act.

“Well…” he sighed “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I suppose the kidnapping worked out.” he sighed affectionately at her and the Doctor, “You know, only you could make a kidnapping seem like a somewhat good thing.”

“I rather believe it did work out, my boy. Though now I at least try to make sure that my travelling companions are willing travellers.” The Doctor chuckled fondly, amused by his past self’s lack of awareness about kidnapping, she couldn’t help but laugh at it herself, it was all so wonderfully absurd.

And with that the Doctor’s story continued, entrancing her and Steven as he led them through the corridors. She silently thanked the Gods that this was to be her fate.