Archive of Our Own

“Well then, that’s all for today, the meeting is dismissed,” Takemichi said, looking back at his friends bashfully. Chifuyu, Hakkai, Inui, Senju, Mitsuya, and the rest. After a long and exhausting day battling it out with the Kantou Manji Gang, Second Generation Toman was somehow able to seize its victory. Most importantly, Takemichi was finally able to get through to the one person he’d made this trip to the past for; Mikey.

“Have more confidence in yourself, Commander,” Mitsuya laughed, slamming an open palm onto Takemichi’s back. It hurt more than he’d admit, but he just forced a laugh out as he watched everyone scatter.

“Going back to the future, partner?” Chifuyu approached him after the Toman members had left.

“Yea.. There is nothing left for me to do here. I already said my goodbyes to Hina too.” He replied, smiling contently, “All that’s left is to shake Mikey-kun’s hand…”

Chifuyu warped an arm around his friend’s shoulders, proud and glad for it to all be done at last. The sacrifices this time had been enormous with the passing away of their former vice-commander, Draken, leaving a gap that’s yet to completely heal in everyone’s hearts. Chifuyu was glad their dear friend could at least rest in peace now, knowing Mikey was back to his senses.

The pale blonde looked around, “Speaking of which, where is he anyway?”

“I have an idea…” Takemichi chuckled, sighing thoughtfully,  “I don’t think he completely forgives himself yet, give him some time and be patient with him.”

“Hmm,” Chifuyu said, letting go of Takemichi’s shoulders and smiling mischievously at him, “you sure do spoil him, you know.”

Takemichi hit his friend’s forearm playfully, “Shut up. No, I don’t.”

“Yea yea,” the vice-commander laughed, waving as he walked away, “Go see him, then. I know you’re itching to do so.”

“Chifuyu…” Takemichi looked, suddenly bowing at a 90-degree angle towards his friend, “Thank you for everything, really. I couldn’t have done it without you.”

Chifuyu looked taken aback for a moment, “Idiot.” He mumbled, “Same goes here. Thank you for putting all this effort into saving us, partner. I wish you the best.”

“Yea, you too.”

With that, Takemichi started heading towards the abandoned bowling alley that he’d visited in the previous future. He had an inkling Mikey would be on the roof of that building, looking down at the city of Shibuya with that lonely back that seemed to carry the weight of the world.

And indeed, just as he’d suspected, that’s exactly where he found him.

“Mikey-kun.” Takemichi called out.

In response, the boy looked behind him with eyes full of sadness. “Hey there, Takemitchy.”

“You could’ve come to the Toman meeting, you know,” Takemichi said as sat next to Mikey.

“Why would I?” Mikey laughed, “I’m not in Toman anymore, it’s not mine.”

“Toman is always yours,” Takemichi frowned, “Besides, you used to always bring me to Toman meetings long before I actually entered Toman, so as the commander this time, I allow you to impose.”

Mikey looked at Takemichi shocked, before they both erupted in laughter with Mikey mumbling, “Fair enough.”

After regaining their composure from their little laughing fit, Mikey spoke first, “So you’re going back to the future now?”

“Yea.” Takemichi looked at Mikey, who was looking down at the streets below them. He could’ve sworn he saw faint loneliness in those obsidian pair of eyes. “I’m confident you’ll be fine now, Mikey-kun. If so, I am not needed here anymore.”

“Not needed, huh…” Mikey just repeated his words, deep in thought.

“You are okay, right? I don’t know how many times I have to tell you this before you understand but I will always be there for you, Mikey-kun. If there is something you need help with, I’ll gladly do it.” Takemichi added, now starting to feel a bit worried.

Mikey laughed, pinching Takemichi’s cheeks, “How cheeky, I’m older than you.”

“Well, technically, I am older than you since I’m already 26 years old mentally,” Takemichi said, voice a bit muffled from having his cheeks pinched.

“I’m fine.” Mikey finally replied, “I promise you I’ll be fine.” This time, he flashed a genuine smile at Takemichi which had him almost tear up. Oh how he’d missed seeing that smile on his commander’s face. It washed away all of his worries. 

“Thank you for everything, Takemitchy.” Mikey put out his hand for a handshake.

Takemichi sniffed, quickly trying to control his tears but failing miserably.

“Ahh,” Mikey quickly moved to wipe his tears using the edge of his sleeves, “Somethings really never change, you crybaby.”

“Shut up,” Takemichi sniffed, taking a deep breath to stabilize his emotions. “Anyway, thank you Mikey-kun. You brought me to where I am now, you made me the kind of person I am today. I hope you aren’t too hard on yourself and you forgive yourself quickly, believe me, you deserve to give yourself at least that much compassion.”

Mikey remained quiet, but Takemichi could tell he was embarrassed by how his cheeks dusted a pretty shade of pink and his warm smile.

“Um..” Takemichi stuttered, losing his thoughts for how ethereal he thought Mikey looked right now, “See you on the other side, I guess?” He brought out his hand to shake Mikey’s.

“...Sure,” Mikey replied as they shook hands.

—

In an instant, things went black for Takemichi, his head feeling lightheaded and his body momentarily heavy as if it weighed a ton. When he came to it, he was back in his old shabby apartment, lying down on his futon with magazines and empty cups of ramen scattered about here and there.

“Ugh..” Takemichi groaned as he started trying to fight off the sluggish feeling that attached itself to his body. He sat up, rubbing his temples to try and ease the tension on his forehead. “No matter how many times I change the future, this apartment never changes huh,” He laughed to himself dryly.

As he slowly started to regain a sense of normalcy in his body again, he looked around the room, taking his phone and opening it to see if he could find any information about this timeline. 

Takemichi checked the date again, making sure this was the correct future. August 10th, 2018.

Going on, his phone contacts were the same, he had his manager’s phone number which allowed Takemichi to deduce he was still working at the CD Rental shop. He had a few other phone numbers from the now former Toman members as well as texts here and there which meant he’d kept some form of contact with them over the years.

“Hm?” Takemichi raised a brow, “What about Mikey-kun…? Did I not stay in contact with him?” He put down his phone, running fingers through his messy hair, “Ugh, past me, that’s the most important piece of information..”

He opened his eyes, wandering randomly across his apartment’s tatami until his eyes landed on a particular magazine that had his eyes widen and forget to breathe for a few seconds from the shock.

“WHAT?!” he screamed, quickly fumbling across the room to hold the magazine in question in his hands, still not believing his eyes.

THE IDOL THAT TOOK JAPAN BY STORM, MIKEY. Including a 10-page long in-depth interview regarding his music path going forward!

TOP IDOL MIKEY TALKS ABOUT HIS PLANS FOR HIS UPCOMING 7TH YEAR ANNIVERSARY.

“Mikey is an idol?! What in the world??” Takemichi could barely control the volume in his voice until he got reprimanded by a knock on his wall from his next-door neighbor.

“Oh my god,” He whispered under his breath, now opening his laptop to search up his friend’s name. Sure enough, there was a whole Wikipedia page dedicated to Mikey and his activities as an idol since 2011 , as well as articles being written about him from all kinds of news outlets, both huge and small.

It took Takemichi by storm, of all the career paths he’d expected Mikey to take, idols and the road to fame was definitely not one of them. The guy was the commander of a gang in his school days, for goodness sake!

Upon scrolling down the google search result, he came upon a video uploaded by a verified channel called Mikey’s Official Youtube Channel . The video had just been uploaded a few hours ago, but the views on the video had already surpassed 500,000 views with at least twenty thousand comments if Takemichi could count his zeros correctly.

It was all happening too fast, and Takemichi’s head could barely keep up with all this information. 

However, it felt like the whole world around Takemichi suddenly came to a halt as the video started, Mikey’s voice resounded in his room from the speakers of his laptop, a singing voice that was velvet smooth,

“That faint voice of yours that grazed me.. please call my name one more time..

I’m standing still under the frozen light but.. I will walk towards you, step by step..

Still with you”

Takemichi almost couldn’t believe it if it wasn’t for the recognizable nasally voice he’d gotten used to for the past year of his life. That was the Mikey he knew, there was no doubt about it. No matter how much of a dream this felt like.

Takemichi didn’t know Mikey had a talent for singing, but he was held in a trance as he listened to his new song, eyes glued to the screen even though the video was a simple lyric video with a dark blue picture which seemed like an album cover as the background.

“Wow…” Once the video ended, Takemichi mumbled to himself, blinking away unshed tears and breathing in sharply, “As expected of Mikey-kun. That was amazing.”

—

It had been a week since Takemichi arrived at this future and he was starting to be sure that it was an overall good future. 

Inui and Koko worked at the motorcycle shop Draken used to manage, with Inui manning the store while Kokonoi managed all the administrative jobs and financial upkeep. 

Mitsuya continued his career in fashion design as he’d been doing ten years ago. His name has grown exponentially in the fashion industry, and Hakkai trained to become a model in order to be able to work by Mitsuya’s side again. Hakkai’s everlasting loyalty to his Taka-chan made Takemichi warm, laughing and teasing him when he’d gone to visit.

Hina was engaged to another man who she said made her very happy through half-guilty eyes as she looked over at Takemichi cautiously. He was sure to dismiss her worries, telling her that he was actually very happy for her and glad she’d gotten what she deserved. 

When he was alone with Naoto, he secretly spilled that his heart ached at seeing Hina happy with another man. But above all else, he was still genuinely happy for her. After all, he didn’t save her so he could end up with her, he did it because he believed that the ball of sunshine materialized in human form called Tachibana Hinata deserved to be happy despite her original fate. If anything, Takemichi was actually surprised with himself for not feeling sadder about it.

Senju now works as a personal trainer at Wakasa and Benkei’s gym. According to the person herself, her relationship with Haruchiyo was still awkward at best but she seemed to be really positive about where it was headed, saying that they’ve definitely been working to mend their sibling relationship from both sides.

Finally, he went to meet Chifuyu at the pet store which was the same as the one he’d owned in the Bonten future. Sure enough, Kazutora was working there in this timeline as well.

Chifuyu welcomed back his friend, recognizing that it was the Takemichi that had been his commander ten years ago in their fight with Kantou Manji Gang. They sat together one night after dinner and a few drinks reminiscing a long gone past, even if it was literally just last week for Takemichi.

It was then that Chifuyu caught Takemichi up with everything that happened with Mikey when he traveled back in time.

According to Chifuyu, Mikey came to visit everyone in Toman a few days after that fateful battle, he'd actually cried in front of everyone as threads of apologies spilled out his mouth. Takemichi could see pain contort his friend’s face just by remembering that moment.

“We all cried with him. I mean, could you blame us?” Chifuyu laughed, “The man we’d always looked up to and was the strongest person we’d ever known started breaking down and crying. I think that was the first time I saw Mikey-kun act his age. Pah and Mitsuya almost suffocated him with their hug.”

Chifuyu took another shot out of his glass, “Everyone told Mikey they forgave him. But after that day, we didn’t see Mikey-kun again,” He sighed, “We were all worried sick at first, so imagine our shock when a huge idol agency announced the debut of a new idol and it was our former commander.”

“When I saw it in a magazine a few days back I could not believe it for the first five minutes,” Takemichi commented.

“Exactly. Mitsuya-kun was about to storm that agency and demand them to let him meet Mikey-kun, apparently. Thank god Hakkai stopped him.” They both laughed at that.

“But, well,” Chifuyu stretched his limbs, “We just accepted it over time… Mikey-kun got popular at an insane rate and it started to feel like it was impossible for normal people like us to get in touch with him.” He laughed dryly, now looking up at the sky from the window, “I just hope to god that he’s learned to forgive himself, you know?” He looked at Takemichi, his smile weary, “As long as he’s happy doing what he’s doing, I’d be satisfied with that.”

Takemichi nodded, drinking his beer, “Yea, I share that sentiment too.”

Their gathering ended well into the night, and Takemichi was headed back to his apartment feeling a bit tipsy.

Satisfied as long as he’s happy, huh…

Takemichi thought to himself. He’d agreed with Chifuyu at the moment, but now that he was thinking of it, that may have been a half-lie.

To be completely honest, while a part of me is glad Mikey-kun didn’t end up doing some shady business again, another part of me is sad by how far he feels now.

Takemichi has only been back a week, but even that was enough for him to recognize just how big of a celebrity Mikey was in this future. His face was plastered on multiple billboard advertisements, his songs often played in shops and even on the street of the Shibuya crossing, whenever Takemichi opened the TV or radio, there would be a mention of Mikey if not the person himself was there as a guest in the show.

Mikey was everywhere. But he was also nowhere.

Takemichi didn’t have his phone number (it’s probably reasonable, considering a celebrity would change his phone number for security reasons anyway), and he didn’t have any other means of meeting or contacting Mikey. In that sense, the person himself was nowhere to be found in Takemichi’s life. 

To make up for that, Takemichi feels like he’s been acting like an obsessed fan. He’s been reading Mikey’s interviews, watching his shows, and listening to his songs. However, at the end of the day, that just solidified the fact that Mikey was now a celebrity out of his reach.

Takemichi stopped in his tracks as his apartment complex came into sight. He looked up, staring at the familiar building silently.

I saved everyone, but I arrived exactly where I started… Am I even happy..?

He dropped to his knees, slapping his cheeks with both his hands and taking a deep breath, “This is what you wanted, Takemichi. Stop being greedy and just be happy for your friends, god damn it.”

He stood up and continued to walk slowly to his apartment. He had work tomorrow, he couldn’t afford to stay up too late.

—

August 10th, 2018.

Manjirou’s fingers hovered over the touchpad on his laptop, having already received the approval from his agency to release the song, all he needed now was to press the upload button on the screen.

He held his glass filled one-quarter of the way with whiskey and ice, sipping it and shivering after every sip. He wasn’t used to alcoholic drinks, let alone a strong drink like whiskey on the rock. But for today, he needed it.

He needed it so his head wouldn’t be full of bright blue eyes that once filled his childhood. He needed something to drown out his feelings today, it’d been exactly 10 years since he last saw Hanagaki Takemichi. 

Yet he still remembered it as if it was yesterday.

“You brought me to where I am now, you made me the kind of person I am today,” He remembered him saying. Manjirou almost wanted to laugh at that moment, because it was Takemichi who changed him drastically. 

Not only the fact that he’d saved and helped him multiple times, but Takemichi’s existence had clawed its way into his heart and made himself comfortable there. Mikey was a changed man because of Takemichi, he’d changed him from the inside out that it almost felt suffocating without him.

But by the time Takemichi had approached him that night, Mikey was already determined to make it the last time he saw Takemichi.

Upon disbanding Toman and the two years leading up to when Takemichi leaped back in time, Mikey had enough time to come to realize his feelings. And it absolutely ripped him apart.

Being in love with a straight man. Being in love with a man that already had a significant other in his life. Being in love with a man that didn’t come back to him for two years despite Manjirou being in this much pain.

There was no place for Mikey to squeeze his existence in Takemichi’s heart, and the realization drove him half insane. When he’d realized it, he was leading one of the most violent gangs in Tokyo, Ken-chin was dead, and he was going to war with Takemichi.

Seriously, what had he been doing?

The depth of Mikey’s own feelings scared him. So that night, ten years ago, when he’d wiped away Takemichi’s tears and allowed himself to relish in the sweet misleading words Takemichi had said to him, he decided to himself that he’d let Takemichi go.

That way, he would be safe from Manjirou, both him and Hina-chan. It was okay. It was better that way. He’d school himself so as not to go off track in the meantime. Because Takemichi was nice. Because if he let himself fall off the deep end, Takemichi would probably take it upon himself to save him again.

Manjirou wouldn’t allow himself to cause Takemichi any more trouble.

And so, Manjirou decided to put his energy and restlessness into something else. One night, he’d watched an old videotape of Emma dancing to some idol song or another, urging Manjirou to join in because “it would be super easy for him with his physical agility.”

He laughed about it initially, then started to think about it more seriously. It didn’t seem to be a horrible idea, and Mikey did like to move his body and stay active.

With a bit more digging around, he found an advertisement for a dancing school that offered dormitories. Apparently, the program would provide a bridge for working at one of the idol agencies immediately as a back dancer. People without much experience were welcome too, so it seemed like the perfect chance for Manjirou to go and try his luck.

After that, Manjirou’s path into the music industry was smooth sailing. He picked up on dances better than he thought he would, his body moving to the rhythm naturally and he quickly started to become passionate about dancing. He loved the feeling of achievement after he’d worn himself out perfecting a dance and then performing in front of a crowd.

It didn’t take long for Manjirou to catch the agency CEO’s eyes either; soon after he started performing dances publicly, he received an offer to transfer and become an idol under his current agency. 

Manjirou was doubtful at first, but the CEO and his management team were passionate about recruiting him, saying they would provide singing lessons and train him fully. Additionally, Mikey would have the final decision on when to debut, they were willing to be patient with him until he was ready.

As such, after three years of intensive training, he finally debuted professionally as a solo idol artist. But even after three years of working himself to the bone, not a single day passed in which Manjirou didn’t think of bright beautiful blue eyes and an even brighter smile, it was the last thing he saw before he closed his eyes at night. It was what had visited his dreams most often.

Three years became ten, and Manjirou’s sentiment barely changed regarding this matter.

It shocked him, honestly. He knew his feelings for Takemichi were deep, but not to the point that it would last ten whole years. At this point, it felt pathetic of him.

Manjirou took another sip from his whiskey, shivering uncomfortably again, “Even whiskey barely helps,” he laughed dryly.

“It’s been exactly ten years… That means the Takemichi from that time finally arrived to the future…” He mumbled thoughtfully to himself.

He’d go look for Hina-chan right about now… I wonder if he'll try getting in contact with me, at least for his wedding invitation…

“But either way, it would make a huge scene if I were to go, the president wouldn’t even allow it.” 

That was a lie, his president was a reasonable man, he wouldn’t deny Manjirou the chance to go and celebrate one of his closest friend’s wedding. The truth was that even though it’s been ten years, Manjirou wouldn’t be able to handle the thought of someone else being Takemichi’s significant other. Because Manjirou was actually selfish like that.

He sighed, gulping down another sip of whiskey as it burnt its way down his throat.

At that moment, his phone lit up with a message from his manager, ‘Are you ready to upload the song?’

Mikey quickly replied in agreement, his fingers moving to the laptop touchpad again. Except this time, he pressed the upload button.

The song, ‘Still With You,’ was a casual release, he wasn’t planning on putting it on any CD, he’d claimed it was a gift for his fans in celebration of his upcoming 7th anniversary and that he only wanted to upload it on YouTube rather than sell it.

After Manjirou had started to learn composing and lyric writing, he started becoming interested in writing his thoughts down in the form of a song. It was freeing for him, he found that it was easier to communicate through song and through his dances rather than straight-up words.

August 10th was approaching for the tenth time, and Manjirou felt himself grow more and more restless by the day. So he decided to finally write about what he’d pretended not to exist in his heart for the past ten years, he wrote about his heartbreak and put it in a song.

The song he was now releasing for the world to see.

It almost felt like letting the world into the darkest place of Manjirou’s heart, which made him nervous about uploading it. He probably would’ve chickened out on releasing it had it not been for his president’s insistent push and support.

And now, it was out.

He gulped down the last of his whiskey and wobbled himself to bed. His head hurt, his chest ached, and he didn’t feel like thinking about this anymore. So he decided to just go to sleep already.

As he drifted back to sleep, he felt a tingle on his fingertips, like they’d been zapped by electricity, the sensation was so subtle he almost missed it. He smiled to himself, gripping his hands softly, happy that he was still connected to Takemichi in one way or another. He was back in the future.

Welcome back, Takemitchy..

—

A month had passed since Takemichi was back in the future. He was starting to get back into how life used to be before he’d started his time-leaping adventures, even though something felt like it was missing now.

But Takemichi pushed down that feeling, not wanting to be any more greedy.

During that time, Takemichi started to quickly feel like he was becoming a fan of Mikey’s. It felt weird, he thought he’d never become a fan , because he knew the idol personally. But as time passed by, Mikey started to appear more like a celebrity in his eyes than the 15-year-old he remembered, or even the previous future Mikeys from the previous timelines.

As he started to drown himself in the content Mikey came out with as an idol, he would sometimes catch himself perceiving Mikey in a completely different light. Takemichi hated that feeling, it made him feel even further away from Mikey. On those days, he’d get drunk and drown the ache in his chest.

Takemichi doesn’t think of himself as a fan. He was Mikey’s friend .

But he wouldn’t deny that his actions did feel like that of a fan’s, he kept up with what TV programs Mikey would appear in, watched live streams, bought magazines with Mikey on them, and the such. Takemichi’s music taste even consisted almost exclusively of Mikey’s songs now.

He found out that Mikey used to have songs written for him, but he slowly started learning how to compose his own songs and had just released an album fully composed by him earlier this year. He also found out that Mikey was amazing at dancing, his singles always had intricate dances accompanying them. Some were more sensual than others that Takemichi found himself blushing at his laptop screen and felt the need to look away.

Whenever he learnt something amazing about Mikey, he would feel pride swell in his chest for his friend and he would feel genuinely happy for him.

He watched a YouTube livestream that Mikey had started almost two weeks after his arrival to the future. It was on the 20th of August, and Takemichi remembered clearly because that was Mikey’s birthday.

This was a secret Takemichi would take to his grave, but he’d actually bought a slice of cake that day because he remembered it was his birthday on his way back from work. Then, he found out that Mikey was streaming, and he decided to feel like he’d celebrated his birthday with him by watching the stream and eating cake.

Mikey had silver hair, similar to the one Mikey wore in the Bonten future. Except here, Mikey looked healthy. In fact, his skin was glowing and Takemichi just couldn’t figure out what kind of skin routine would give you skin that good.

During that stream, he also found that Mikey’s ‘idol persona’ was more of the calm and collected type, like how Mikey would be in a Toman meeting where he would be his commander self. Takemichi didn’t think it was acting or fake, it was more like one part of Mikey’s personality. 

The part that had people gather around him, the part that had people turn their heads to pay attention to him, with a commanding voice that rang throughout the shrine and touched the members’ hearts.

When Takemichi compared his idol persona to that of the commander he once knew and followed wholeheartedly, he started to understand why Mikey’s career as an idol has been this successful.

He had the talent for it all along, his presence always commanded attention no matter where he went.

That’s why Takemichi would always catch himself following him with his eyes whenever Mikey was around.

One day, he was passing by the convenience store to grab a quick late lunch on his way home. As he passed by the magazine shelf, eyes now automatically scanning the shelf for any new updates on Mikey, he stopped in front of one tabloid magazine which had Mikey in a dark hoodie, masked, and coming out of a suspicious-looking building on the front cover.

He quickly put down his groceries to pick up the magazine, now flipping through it as he read the article title written in a bright red font.

Top Idol Mikey caught buying drugs in an alleyway on the outskirts of Shibuya?!

Takemichi’s heart started to race, anxiety from all the bad futures he’d witnessed clawing its way back to Takemichi’s heart and up to his throat. “What is this… Is Mikey-kun okay… He’s doing.. Drugs?” He mumbled to himself, reading further down the article.

To be honest, the article was quite outrageous. The journalist had somehow connected drugs to Mikey having personal affiliations to the underground society, which was the reason for his rapid rise to fame 7 years prior.

Takemichi took a deep breath, deciding to hold his thoughts from running wild. He needed to do more research first before he believed anything he saw.

He bought the magazine along with his groceries and hurried back to his apartment.

Upon arrival, he’d gone onto the internet to check if there were more articles regarding this incident. Surely enough, there was but they all came from sketchy sources that Takemichi didn’t know what to believe. The fans were pretty torn too, some saying they’d always found it suspicious how ‘Mikey appeared out of nowhere suddenly’ and others saying they believed in their idol and would wait for a statement from the agency.

Takemichi found himself agreeing with the latter. He didn’t find any reason why Mikey would want to rise to fame so quickly he’d used underhanded channels, and quite frankly, the idea of discrediting all his efforts made his blood boil.

But was Mikey really using drugs? Takemichi didn’t know what to believe. If he really was using drugs, he wanted to reach out so badly, he wanted to ask him directly and make sure he was doing well. There was only so much you could learn about him through a screen. There was only so much you could know from your status as a fan .

It frustrated Takemichi to no end.

So he opened a new tab and searched for Mikey’s earliest concert date. It was the only idea Takemichi could come up with right now, his only chance to see Mikey face-to-face, no matter how slim the actual chances of that happening was.

He found one happening next month in October, his Anniversary concert at Saitama Super Arena. Luckily for Takemichi, ticket sales were starting tomorrow.

The next day, he stood in a virtual queue as the sales opened and somehow managed to buy a ticket for himself. For once, the gods looked upon Takemichi favorably, because the tickets were sold out in a matter of minutes .

Takemichi could hear his heartbeat in his ear from how loud it was, he was smiling from ear to ear, and his body felt jittery looking at the ticket in his phone.

He was finally going to see Mikey.

—

October 14th had arrived, and Takemichi could barely sleep the night prior due to his excitement. He wore black jeans and a white shirt with a print that said “WHERE THERE IS LOVE THERE IS LIFE” in black. His friends may have loved to shit on his taste for shirts, but Takemichi never grew out of quotes on shirts, no matter how old-fashioned they may have gotten. Above the shirt, he wore a semi-thick denim jacket, just enough to keep him warm on a sunny autumn day.

He quickly fixed his soft curls in the mirror and smiled to himself, satisfied, then made his way to Mikey’s concert venue.

As he reached the designated location, he started to walk about the building. The area was full of merchandise stalls whose lines circled all around the main building, a small exhibition showcasing Mikey’s costumes from previous concerts, and of course, the full blasting of the artist’s discography. 

Once he’d given in and bought a penlight and tour shirt from the booth, he sat around wondering how he’d even get close to Mikey in the first place. He thought to himself maybe if he tried talking to the security stationed at the backstage gates, he would be able to tell them to ask Mikey about him. If Mikey knew he was here, he might be willing to meet him.

Actually, now that he’d thought of it, that was the only kind of semi-probable plan he could carry out.

His train of thought was cut off when a group of fans huddled over the entrance to the venue started yelling frantically and chanting a certain idol’s name.

Takemichi practically jumped from his seat and ran towards the crowd, trying to squeeze himself in to see more clearly beyond the ocean of fans.

And there he was. Mikey wore dark sunglasses with black jeans and a high-end-looking button-up shirt with intricate yellow designs on it. His hair was still dyed silver and what little hair he could gather was up in a tiny, somewhat messy, ponytail that Takemichi would probably fanboy about how cute it was later on.

Right now, at the moment that Takemichi was finally able to lay eyes upon Mikey in the flesh, he felt a surge of emotions in him that led to a great sense of desperation in his chest.

Takemichi bit the inside of his cheek and, without much thinking, yelled out his name, his voice coming out squeaky and a tad bit louder than the other fans around him.

“Mikey-kun!!!”

The crowd went silent for a split second, all eyes were on Takemichi including those belonging to the silver-haired idol. Takemichi could see his eyes even through his sunglasses, he imagined a look of shock and then the softening of his eyes before Mikey turned around just as quickly, waving lightly and disappearing into the building.

D-Did Mikey-kun just-

“Make eye contact with me?!” One of the fans next to him squealed, startling Takemichi out of his trance.

“No! I’m the one who made eye contact with him!” The other girl argued.

Takemichi laughed pathetically at himself. He was starting to act like a crazed fangirl, Mikey probably looked around once as light fanservice. Takemichi got carried away too quickly.

He sighed in defeat, deciding to ask around security guards to see how his luck would fare with him before he started lining up to enter the venue.

—

“Mikey-kun!!!” Manjirou heard a voice very familiar to him call out from the crowd of fans waiting at the backstage entrance. It was a voice Mikey had only heard in his dreams for the last ten years.

His head whipped around so fast to follow the source of the voice, as if it would disappear if he didn’t catch it as quickly as he could.

Even amongst the huge crowd of fans, it was as if Mikey had a radar for the boy. As soon as he turned around, his eyes immediately landed on soft curly black hair with a brilliant, desperate looking, set of blue eyes.

What was he doing here? Why was he calling for him?

A thousand thoughts passed by his brain in a quarter of a second, but above all else, his heart ached desperately with need . A need to reach his hands out and run his fingers through those beautiful curls, a need to bring him closer to him, nuzzle his face in the crook of his neck, and breathe in the scent of the sun that was recognizable to Takemichi back in middle school.

All Manjirou could say was thank god his managers were around him , quickly snapping him out of his thoughts before he actually shoved everyone away and swept the man off his feet and into his arms.

“Manjirou, please keep walking.” She said, sternly.

He quickly turned around, gripping his hands so tightly his knuckles went white, and walked into the building in quick footsteps. He didn’t breathe until he reached his waiting room, his manager telling him to wait there a moment as she went to find the concert director.

Left alone in the room, Manjirou let out a shaky sigh, trying to blink the unshed tears away as he dropped to the floor and tried to steady himself.

Takemitchy was here. He’d come to see him, he’d come to find him.

Or maybe he just wanted to see his friend’s concert. Manjirou was sure that his being an idol came as a shock to Takemichi, who’d leaped through time and didn’t know the current future.

Takemichi has been in this future for 2 months now. Did he try looking for Mikey during that time? But it shouldn’t have been that hard to find out, he was quite a famous person now. Did he come looking for him now after everything was settled with Hina-chan? Was he low on the priority list and his turn just came now, after two months?

But that desperation in his eyes… what was that about…

Manjirou didn’t know what to think, his throat feeling like it was getting clogged up, it kind of reminded him of the nervousness he’d experienced during his first concert.

“Manjirou?” His manager asked from behind him, eyebrows raised with the director behind her wearing a worried expression.

“Are you okay, Mikey-san?!” He voiced his worry.

“Ah…” Manjirou took a beat, then stood up on his feet again, dusting his clothes and smiling professionally, “Yes, I’m fine. Sorry for worrying you like that. I just dropped my phone on the floor and was picking it up.”

“Oh, of course! Yes! As long as you’re fine, it’s no problem at all!” The man replied, seemingly more relieved. 

They’d discussed final details and caution warnings regarding today’s concert, then the director excused himself to continue his work, leaving Manjirou and his manager alone in the waiting room.

“What was that about?” The woman in her forties asked, eyes glued to the door to make sure no one passed by or sneaked up on them.

“I told you I just dropped my phon-”

“I’m serious, Manjirou.” She looked at him, and he had to control his reflex to flinch at her piercing gaze. “I need to know if you’re feeling unwell so then I can adequately be of support.”

Manjirou sighed, nothing escaped the interrogating eyes of his manager, “I really am fine, at least health-wise..”

“So it’s not to do with your health?” She continued questioning, before adding, “Does this have something to do with how you abruptly stopped to look at one of the fans outside earlier?”

This time he couldn’t help flinching, and the manager took that as an answer.

“What, did you know them? Or are they stalkers? If this is a security issue I need t-”

“Woah, calm down Kaji-san.” He said frantically, sighing, “Umm.. it’s just someone I used to know from my school days…”

Kaji looked intrigued; she knew Mikey used to lead a small street gang back in hisyouth. Upon signing his contract with the agency, he had told her and the CEO everything, they needed to know what to expect in case an article went digging through his past. But she held herself back, not letting the curiosity get the better of her professionalism.

“I understand. I’ll ask just in case but… Is this going to affect your performance today?” She inquired.

Manjirou took a deep breath, the aura around him turning professional as he replied, “No. Once the concert starts, that is all I’m focusing on.” 

And he was a man of his word. Regardless of what kind of circumstances or situation he was in, Manjirou took pride in his professionalism and determination to deliver a show of utmost precision. Once he was on stage, he poured every ounce of his effort into his singing and dancing. That’s what he’d be doing today, too.

“But,” Manjirou added, looking up slyly at his manager, who could already feel her impending headache caused by that expression, “I want to change the setlist.”

“Impossible, don't even think of it.”

“Why not?” Manjirou pouted.

“Absolutely not. Nope. Mm-mm, I’m the one that’ll get the grunt of it.” She said, rubbing her temples.

“Even if it’s just for one of the songs?”

Kaji sighed. At times, she hated being the manager of a stubborn idol like Manjirou.

—

As expected, Takemichi’s plan to talk to the security guards wasn’t successful. He’d told them he knew Mikey personally, but he only received suspicious eyes. Now that he had thought it through, of course they wouldn’t have believed him. There were probably multiple fans claiming the same thing as him, they wouldn’t believe him so easily.

He sighed, now in his seat in the venue. At least Takemichi had been lucky enough to be on the front row in the first-level stand on the right side of the main stage. It was on the side, but still pretty close to the stage, so Takemichi preferred it over the middle-section stands that were further from the stage.

He was still disappointed he wasn’t able to meet with Mikey personally, but decided not to let that ruin the performance about to start.

The concert started with the raising of curtains, band members already in their positions in front of their respective instruments, and the fans cheered. However, it was nowhere near the level of excitement once all spotlights collected in the middle of the stage, Mikey popping up from the what seemed like under the stage and the song started in the same second.

Takemichi had watched many videos, so he knew how amazing Mikey was at singing and dancing, but seeing it real life was a whole other different experience.

The setlist had a wide variety of songs, from jazzy, to rock, to R&B. Generally, Mikey’s albums rarely ever stuck to one genre specifically; according to Mikey, he ‘only wants to sing what he feels like singing at the time, there is no point in restraining my sound to one genre only.’ Takemichi loved that interview, it reminded him that Mikey was really just being himself at the end of the day, even as an idol.

Mikey’s dances were diverse as well, matching with each song well no matter how slow or fast, calm or upbeat the songs were, his body moved ethereally with the music. Like he was born to dance. Mikey really was secretly a genius at dance and the Toman members just didn’t know it, Takemichi thought.

Time passed by in an instant and before he’d realized, Mikey had already gone backstage once, now coming back for the encore. The concert’s end was closing in, and Takemichi already felt lonely by that fact.

When he came back on stage, he wore a simple shirt, the concert shirt they’d sold in the booths earlier, with jeans. His smile was bright and beautiful, eyes glimmering with satisfaction, skin glowing with his sweat, his hair slightly sticking to the side of his face if not for the constant wiping and quick fixing of insistent hair stylists.

After he’d sung one encore song, he turned to his band members and Takemichi could see him nod in silent agreement with them before moving to the microphone stand. The volume of the cheers lowered quite a bit, seeing that Mikey was about to speak.

“The next song is the last one for tonight.”

The crowd aww-ed and yelled denials at an end that came too quick, making Mikey laugh lightly into his mic and the audience immediately swooning at the action.

“I originally didn’t have this song on the setlist until literally early today,” He said with a wide smile, looking back at his band members, “So these guys are the real MVPs for complying with my selfish request.”

The crowd cheered again.

“This song is really close to my heart, probably the closest of all the songs I’ve made so far so… I really wanted to sing it here, today, no matter what.” He closed his eyes, seemingly steadying his breathing before opening them again, a tinge of sadness in his eyes, continuing with a quiet voice into the mic, “Please listen. ‘Still With You’.”

The spotlight turned blue as the piano started playing the first few notes in the song, Mikey holding on to his mic positioned on his microphone stand gently, and Takemichi felt the air getting knocked out of his lungs as the idol’s sweet humming voice resounded in the arena.

He wasn’t lying when he said this song was close to his heart, because everyone in that space at that second could feel how Mikey poured his feelings into every word that came out of his mouth. The concert hall had gotten considerably quieter, the fans waving their penlights to the melody of the song, others sobbing their hearts out by this point.

As for Takemichi, it felt like only Mikey existed in the world right now.

He was hit with a surge of emotions so strong he couldn’t properly comprehend what was going on.

He felt an overwhelming sense of pride for the performance his friend had put on; happiness that he’d finally seen him in real life, even if at a distance, and relief that Mikey looked genuinely passionate in what he was doing.

But at the same time, he felt incomprehensible sadness in the loneliness he saw in Mikey’s black orbs as he sang the song. Takemichi didn’t realize this the first time he heard the song, having been too shocked about Mikey’s idol career, but it was a heartbreak song. A song about being far from a loved one but still not giving up on loving them.

It was beautiful.

And it broke Takemichi’s heart to pieces.

Who was Mikey writing about? Who’d made him feel all these intense emotions he got from Mikey’s singing alone?

I wish it could’ve been me.

He gasped at his own thought, throat quickly constricting as tears welled up and soon overflowed from Takemichi’s eyes.

Fuck. Shit. This wasn’t happening.

He gripped his shirt from where his heartbeat started picking up its pace.

I wish I could be the one in your thoughts all day. I wish this song were about me.

It was selfish of Takemichi, he was self-aware. But he couldn’t help but want Mikey to feel the kind of anguish Takemichi felt trying to chase him all this time, desperately trying to reach for that broad back that carried the weight of the world.

It wasn't just this future, Takemichi has been chasing after Mikey for the past few timelines. Every time, Mikey seemed to slip between his fingers just as he thought he finally reached him.

It was painful, being in a one-sided crush. Takemichi came up with all sorts of excuses to ignore the feeling that had long bloomed and ripened in his heart. But being faced with such a straightforward love song, he couldn’t ignore the rotten feeling of jealousy that freed itself from the deepest cage within him.

“Though our steps may not go along together,” Mikey looked around the venue, eyes landing straight on Takemichi, and the man felt himself get conscious of the sudden attention (if it was really directed towards him, he somehow doubted Mikey could spot him in a venue of over thirty thousand people).

Takemichi thought he probably looked at his ugliest right now, tears falling ungracefully off his face, his expression probably contorted as if someone was choking him of air. Finally, he couldn’t stand it, looking down at his feet and trying to wipe away his tears the best he can.

“I want to walk this path with you, still with you,” Mikey ended the song, and Takemichi looked up again.

Mikey was still staring at him.

Takemichi stiffened up, now wondering if Mikey really did notice him in the crowd.

No.

Anxiety rose in his chest. Not now , Takemichi would rather die than let his recently-realized crush see him this way. His feelings were a mess, and so was his face, the courage he’d worked up in the morning to see Mikey was all gone.

As the fans cheered, Mikey went back to thanking everyone for coming, and Takemichi started moving through people to leave the venue. The fans seemed bothered as he blocked their vision of their idol, but Takemichi could barely bring himself to care.

He just felt like he needed to get out right now. He walked in fast steps in the hallways of the venue heading for the exit.

—

Manjirou isn’t exactly sure how he did it.

In a sea of red penlights being waved around, he could only see a few faces in the audience. Even when he did, it was in passing.

Once he started singing his last song, his eyes naturally wandered to the man he was singing about. And Manjirou spotted him in practically record time.

Right there, on the left-side stands, first row, he saw the man in question holding his penlight still as if he were in a trance. Manjirou could see the tears overflowing from his eyes, laughing internally at how Takemichi never ceased to be a crybaby, his blue eyes shining through a layer of tears in his eyes.

Manjirou promised himself to create distance between him and Takemichi, to allow his heart to get over the love it felt, and to protect Takemichi from whatever Manjirou was potentially capable of doing. But as usual, the blue-eyed boy always found a way to make a disaster out of Manjirou’s plans, turning his thoughts upside down without even being aware of it.

So when he’d seen Takemichi within the crowd of fans earlier today, he strengthened his resolve.

This is a love song to you . 

He thought, as if he were telepathically communicating with the person in the stands.

My twelve years' worth of feelings, of heartbreak, of happiness, of everything. I’ll give everything to you, and if you were to reject it, maybe then I’d finally have a reason to give up on you.

He decided to confess. He’d think of the consequences later, but upon seeing Takemichi in front of him, Manjirou would be lying if he said he didn’t start feeling desperate.

“I still want to walk this path with you, still with you,” he voiced out the last line, still keeping his eyes on the way that Takemichi’s expressions contorted from something painful, to embarrassed, to panicked. Manjirou’s heart started racing as he watched this progress, wondering if Takemichi really had figured out the meaning of the song, if Manjirou’s feelings had reached him.

He went back to thanking the fans one last time, seeing Takemichi stand from his seat to leave through the periphery of his vision.

Once he was backstage, he ran past all the backup dancers and stage staff that were waiting to congratulate him on a successful concert. “Thank you, thank you so much, I’m sorry I’ll see you guys in a bit!!” He said in a hurry, he wanted to run after Takemichi, but his professional side also wouldn’t allow him to completely ignore them.

“Manjirou?!” His manager called out, seeing him run into the hallway.

“Sorry, Kaji-san! Be right back, I need to go catch someone!!” He yelled back, not stopping in his tracks. He had a wide smile on his face because, despite everything, he was going to meet Takemichi. He’d secretly been waiting for this day for a long time and wasn’t about to lose that opportunity now.

The second he came out of the backdoor, he saw Takemichi run just by him.

His body moved before his mind could realize it, grabbing onto the arm and causing the black-haired man to jump to his touch.

“Wait, Takemitchy!” Manjirou said, panting along with Takemichi, both trying to catch their breaths.

“M-Mikey-kun..?” Takemichi asked, face as if he was seeing a ghost in front of him.

“Why are you in such a hurry to leave..” The idol asked, sounding more desperate to his ears than he would’ve liked to be.

“Eh? W-what do you mean,” Takemichi replied, confused.

Mikey furrowed his eyebrows, “You seemed to be in a hurry to leave the venue? Is everything alright?”

Little to the man’s knowledge, Takemichi’s brain had short-circuited from running way over its capacity, completely going into overdrive at the appearance of Mikey right in front of him.

“Um,” Takemichi started, unsure, “You… actually saw me?” Was all that came out of his mouth. Sure, he thought Mikey might have noticed him, but having that fact be confirmed to him made his heart do a backflip in its place.

“Huh?” Mikey seemed to get a bit flustered, “Yea, I mean-”

The shorter man immediately went quiet as he heard the crowd exit the building, their voices growing closer by the second.

“Come in here,” Mikey said, using the hand that still gripped Takemichi’s arm to pull him into the building quickly. “Let’s talk somewhere else.” His hand slid down Takemichi’s arms, stopping at his hand and holding it before dragging him through the corridor.

Takemichi took notice of the gesture, biting the inside of his cheek to somehow ground himself in reality because what was happening to him seemed like a dream all of a sudden.

For the next few minutes, they walked silently, Mikey’s hands in his. Finally, they stepped into an average-sized room which Takemichi guessed was his waiting room if the makeup and hair stylers lying about on the tables were anything to go off of. Mikey then closed the door behind them, locking the door in the process, which made Takemichi flinch in his grasp.

Was Mikey just imagining things, or was Takemichi being weirdly conscious right now?

“Sorry,” Mikey slowly -almost regrettably- let go of his hand, now embarrassed, “My waiting room is the most private place I could think of. Most people won’t try to enter right now anyway, so I thought we could-” His eyes glanced back at Takemichi; the tips of his ears were a deep shade of red and, god, he looks so cute , “um, take our time talking..” He managed to continue.

“No, yea that makes sense,” Takemichi said, he was sure his face was red as a tomato because it sure felt like it. “I’m surprised you still remember me, Mikey-kun. I mean, sure, it’s only been a few weeks for me, but it’s been over ten years for you… and you became so successful too, by the way, I was so shocked initially- Oh but I’m genuinely happy for you! Sorry, I’m babbling aren’t I!”

Takemichi felt his face grow hotter, his voice slowly fading as he forced himself to a stop and dropped his face to the ground in an attempt to hide himself.

Suddenly, he heard Mikey laugh lightly and his eyes shot up to meet Mikey’s black orbs again.

“I could never forget you, Takemitchy.”

Takemichi would appreciate Mikey not wording things like that right now, he’d just come to the self-realization of his crush and his heart was already a mess without Mikey throwing in extra servings of chaos to his heart.

Silence rang in the room, awkwardness in the air but one accompanied by sparks of electricity between the two. Regardless of everything else, they were both glad to finally be able to meet the other.

“I was, uh, surprised you came to look for me though..” Mikey started, pausing before he further clarified, “My manager said that the security guards said there was a guy outside claiming to be my friend and that he wanted in… That was you, right?”

“Yea,” Takemichi said, tilting his head, “Wait, so if you were informed, why wasn’t I let in- oh my god, I’m sorry, did I force you to bring me here-”

Takemichi was beyond nervous right now, his hands fidgeting and not knowing what to do with them now that they weren’t in Mikey’s hands, the warmth still lingering at his fingertips.

“No, I just brought you here because I wanted to.” Mikey assured, looking away for a moment, “Earlier, I was just a bit.. busy, so I couldn’t receive guests.” He scratched the back of his head, it wasn’t the complete truth, but Takemichi didn’t need to know that.

“Oh yea, makes sense…” Takemichi laughed, then pouted slightly, “You should know that I’ll always come find you, Mikey-kun, no matter where you are. I mean, why wouldn’t I?”

Mikey felt like he could cry right now, the man of his dreams right in front of him being adorable while puffing his cheeks and saying adorable things. Takemichi’s existence was enough to ruin Manjirou, and the idol felt the effect he had on him all over again at that moment.

Was that too obvious?

Takemichi thought, starting to grow nervous about the silence between them. He was desperate to say anything to divert Mikey’s attention from what he’d just said, which led him to blurt, “Ah, but of course, I came with an actual purpose! Because I wanted to ask Mikey-kun about the drug incident going around in the tabloids these days.”

Mikey’s expression dropped at that, “...Huh?”

“I know Mikey-kun may feel hesitant to discuss this with me.. Since you have a public image to keep up,” Takemichi said, still too focused on what he was saying to look at the dejected expression in front of him, “But I’ll always be here to help you, so-”

“Takemitchy.” 

At the nickname, he finally looked Mikey in the eye and all the words instantly died on his tongue, chest squeezing in painful guilt . He’d fucked up. Yes, that’d been his excuse to go meet Mikey, because he felt like he needed one, but it wasn’t the honest truth. The truth was that Takemichi wanted to see Mikey because he missed him, because things didn’t feel right in his life without Mikey in it, because he was selfish to no end.

Because Takemichi was the kind of person who’d frame some baseless rumor on his friend if that meant having an excuse to meet him.

“I’m sorry I worried you. But you shouldn’t believe radom tabloids, you know,” Mikey was laughing but it was empty , it felt like the idol persona was in front of him. It hurt.

“Ah, wai-"

“I promised you I’d stay out of trouble this time, didn’t I?” Mikey said, turning his back to Takemichi and facing the door to unlock it, “I thought you trusted that. I thought you just came looking for me to catch up or something, god I’m so stupid.”

Something broke in Mikey when he’d heard Takemichi say he came to see him over a silly drug scandal. Once again, Mikey had misread things. He was tired of this, his tears threatened to fall at any second now.

Takemichi, on the other hand, went into full-blown panic. How was he supposed to explain this without exposing himself and his feelings to Mikey? He wasn’t ready to confess, nor did he ever think he’d be ready. It was all too scary for Takemichi to actually go through with it. He didn’t want to lose what he had with Mikey.

“You can rest assured I’m out of your hair now. I’m not your burden anymore, Takemitchy.” Mikey said, looking back at Takemichi, eyes glistening with unshed tears and a smile so fragile it felt like it could shatter at any moment.

Takemichi snapped, his fears be damned, he wasn’t going to let Mikey think he was being a burden all this time. He reached out to stop Mikey’s hands from twisting the door handle, then stood so he was facing Mikey properly again.

“Don’t say that, Mikey-kun.” He said in a stern tone.

“I just told the truth.” Mikey said, voice cold and eyes on the floor, not willing to look at Takemichi, “If I didn’t have any problems, you wouldn’t try to look for me. God damn it, what are you? My therapist?”

“It was an excuse!” Takemichi said, this time in an angry voice that quickly softened in the next breath, “I knew you’d keep your promise, I just used that as an excuse to come and meet you. Because I felt like I didn’t have any right to look for you anymore, because I couldn’t fully come to terms with my own feelings. I ended up making you the scapegoat for my selfishness, you don’t deserve that, I’m so sorry.”

His heart felt like it was beating in his ears, some tiny rational part in his brain told him to stop talking before he regretted it, but it was too late, the dam was broken and his feelings were already flooding in.

“I’m so sorry,” He brought Mikey’s hands to his lips, ghosting over them but terrified of crossing that line between them, “I never thought you were a burden. Never. You were the reason that kept me going. Don’t you ever describe the person I love as a burden.” His eyes overflowed with tears at this point, a hurricane of emotions in his chest that refused to settle down.

But oddly enough, Takemichi didn’t feel an ounce of the regret he thought he’d feel by confessing. On the contrary, it was a bit freeing, regardless of how Mikey’s answer would turn out.

Mikey stood quietly, tears naturally falling from his beautiful dark eyes. He couldn’t believe his ears. What was happening? Who did Takemichi love exactly?

“What..” was all he could say, mumbling under his breath but Takemichi still seemed to catch that.

He looked up to see Mikey crying, was he that disgusted? Or was it just pure shock?

“I love you, Sano Manjirou, you idiot” Takemichi clarified, he had already said it once, and it was somehow less terrifying the second time around, but his cheeks still dusted in red, blue eyes looking straight into black.

Mikey imagined the day he’d be able to meet Takemichi in so many different ways and in all kinds of patterns. It was part of his coping mechanism after he’d been separated from him for so long, and yet, this was definitely not like anything he’d expected.

He imagined confessing to Takemichi and getting rejected in different ways.

Because that was it. Takemichi had Hina-chan in his life. And Mikey, having watched him closely in those years, knew how important and precious she was to him. That’s why Mikey was sure he didn’t have much chance. He wouldn’t even entertain it in his dreams, because waking up from that kind of imagination would be too painful.

Yet here he was, Takemichi in all his glory, confessing to Mikey in his own waiting room. It almost burnt his skin being in the gaze of those beautiful determined blue orbs and the flame inside of them. How is Mikey supposed to react to that? Some part of him wasn’t even able to keep up with what Takemichi was saying, he wanted to pinch himself to confirm the reality of the situation but he was too much in shock to move any kind of limb right now.

So he just stood there unmoving, tears free-flowing from his eyes, too shocked to form any kind of sentence at the moment.

As the silence continued, Takemichi started to get visibly restless, the hand that still held his tightened its grip ever so slightly.

“At least say something, you’re killing me here,” Takemichi mumbled.

Who’s killing who? Some calm part of Mikey thought. His confession, his touch, his breath that fanned over Mikey’s hands earlier, it was all killing Mikey as he stood stunned.

 “I don’t get it..” Mikey finally managed to say, his brain-to-mouth filter was completely destroyed at this point, he blurted out whatever he thought, “is this some kind of prank…?”

Takemichi flinched and then frowned, “If so, that would be some sick joke. It hurts for you not to believe me..”

“No!” Mikey said, desperation lacing his voice once again, “I-its just, uh, doesn’t Takemitchy have Hina-chan?”

Takemichi decided to be patient, clearly seeing the genuine confusion in Mikey’s eyes, although he’d wished he'd be quick if he were to reject him. Better to rip the band-aid off than go about it slowly.

“Hina is getting married to her fiance next month.” He said, being nonchalant on purpose to show him that it didn’t bother him, “And also… I’ve had feelings for you for quite some time now, not Hina.” He continued, blushing again.

“Lies.”

“Not lies.” Takemichi sighed, now letting go of Mikey’s hands, “Would I have risked everything and traveled to the past back for you if I didn’t feel anything? There were many sacrifices during my last leap but if it meant saving you, I would do them again a million times.”

Mikey stepped forward into Takemichi’s personal space, face dangerously close even though his eyes seemed to be slightly unfocused, like he still couldn’t believe what was happening.

“... ay… again…” Mikey mumbled.

“Huh?” Takemichi asked, trying to catch the other’s words.

“Say it.. again…” Mikey repeated, looking into his eyes hopefully.

Takemichi blushed, “For a third time? No wa-”

“Come on, just do it!” this time, Mikey’s voice almost had a whiny tone to it.

Takemichi sighed, face getting hotter, “I love you… Mikey-kun-”

This time, Takemichi immediately felt himself getting pulled into a hug by strong arms. Mikey held on tightly, Takemichi’s sunshine smell enveloping him exactly like how he’d imagined it to be. As expected, Takemichi never changed.

“I.. love you too, Takemitchy.” His heart felt so full, like he was walking on clouds right now, none of this felt real but Takemichi’s body warmth still grounded him in reality, assured him that he indeed was not dreaming, “More than you’d ever imagine,” He added in a whisper.

Takemichi was taken aback and then felt himself breathe out a silent sigh of relief, arms going around the other man’s shoulders to hug him back just as tightly, to somehow convey to him the happiness and affection he held in his heart at that moment.

Mikey continued babbling into the crook of Takemichi’s neck, the tell-tale wetness he felt on his shoulders telling him Mikey was still crying “I’ve loved you for so long that it felt hopeless, I missed you so much, but I didn’t want to look for you either.” Takemichi brought his hand up to run his fingers through silver hair, hoping it would help him calm down, “I was scared of myself, of the depth of my feelings, but the longer it lasted, the more painful it became, I didn’t miss you any less and..” He was cut short by his own need to take in a sharp breath of air.

“I’m sorry I didn’t come earlier, Mikey-kun.” He said, leaning his head on Mikey’s, his heart hurt at the pain he could hear from the other man’s voice, “I’m slow, you see,” He laughed, “It took me too long to realize what I should have done all this time.”

Mikey pulled away to look him in the eye, his face was flushed red and the rim of his eyes were red from the crying, and Takemichi just held his breath because the man in front of him was so beautiful .

Takemichi’s hands cupped both of the idol’s cheeks, connecting their foreheads together, “Will you let me make it up to you…?”

“How?”

Takemichi didn’t answer, instead silently guiding the face between his hands closer to him, meeting him halfway, and placing a chaste kiss on soft lips.

Once he pulled away, he shot a bashful smile at Mikey, “Like this?”

“Not nearly enough,” Mikey said, now obviously regaining composure on his feelings but his face was still flushed. His hand snaked around Takemichi's head, and pulled him in for a second, deeper, kiss. This time he took the lead. Their lips molded perfectly with each other as Mikey took the initiative to bite lightly at Takemichi’s lower lip, swiping his tongue across it in a request for entrance.

Takemichi awkwardly parted his lips for a moment, but Mikey gladly took the opportunity to explore deeper into his mouth. Their tongues danced around together, Takemichi desperately trying to keep up with Mikey because where the heck did he learn all this technique, god damn it!

On the other hand, Mikey secretly relished in Takemichi’s slightly panicked state, this was obviously his first deep kiss but he was trying desperately to keep up for Mikey’s sake. He was so cute it made Mikey almost want to try something more to see just how Takemichi would react.

Their lips parted for a second to quickly catch their breath before Mikey went in for a third kiss and Takemichi complied, because despite his brain going on overdrive right now, he enjoyed the sensation nonetheless.

The third was more desperate, Mikey exploring around his mouth like he was a thirsty man in the middle of a desert . Amidst all this, Takemichi felt himself take a step back as Mikey pushed in more and more, they both took a few steps until Takemichi’s back reached the door and sandwiched him between the door and Mikey’s body.

Mikey pulled away again once he felt like Takemichi was struggling to breathe, quickly advising, “Breathe from your nose, Takemitchy,” he was about to go in for the fourth time before Takemichi’s knees buckled from under him and ended up sliding down the door until he reached the floor.

“M-mikey-kun,” He started, trying to catch his breath, “you’re going too fast…”

Mikey chuckled as he sat on the floor with him, thumb rubbing over reddened cheeks, “Sorry, I got too excited in teasing you.”

“How evil,” Takemichi said, pouting, before he broke into laughter with Mikey. His body and heart felt so light and he wished they could stay in this moment forever.

But as if the universe had heard his wishes and decided to sneer at him, the next moment, there was a loud knock on the door that made them both flinch. They met eyes for a little before they both looked away embarrassed, as if the knock had brought them back to reality and out of their little trance.

The knock sounded again, this time with an attempt to open the door, then a lady’s voice asking, “Manjirou..?”

Takemichi started to get nervous.

Mikey must have noticed him because he patted his shoulders assuredly and flashed him a smile, “Sit on the couch, I’ll answer the door.”

“O-okay!” He said, quickly getting out of the door’s way.

He was completely in his little world that he forgot Mikey was an idol and he just finished his concert less than an hour ago. Should he even be here right now? Would Mikey get in trouble? Just because their feelings were mutual, it didn’t mean that they could date. What if Mikey’s company was one of those places that forbade their idols from dating and having a love life?

Ignorant to all of Takemichi’s anxious thoughts, Mikey unlocked the door and opened it, although not fully. “What’s up?” He said casually.

“‘ What’s up’ ?! Manjirou, you suddenly left and then didn’t answer your phone!” The woman half yelled, gripping at the door and trying to open it, but Mikey was stronger than her, keeping the door at the angle he wanted with ease.

“Ahh, sorry, sorry. My phone wasn’t with me!”

She then gave up on pushing the door, huffing out a sigh in an attempt to regain her composure, “Did you ‘catch’ the person you were looking for?”

Takemichi flinched, his heartbeat picking up, he had a suspicion she was talking about him.

“Yup.” Mikey answered lightly, smiling widely, “Which is why I’ll need you to give me some privacy for now, Kaji-san.”

Kanji locked eyes with him, almost as if they were having a silent conversation using just their eyes.

“..Okay,” She sighed again, “But you need to be out there as soon as possible. We can’t leave the staff hanging, we need to say our greetings then remove your make-up. Also, don’t forget about the afterparty.”

“Yes ma’am.” He said, about to close the door before she added, “And introduce me to whoever you're hiding in there, eventually!”

With that, the door was closed again and Mikey’s eyes were back on Takemichi.

“Sorry about that, she’s my manager, Kaji-san.” He said, sitting next to Takemichi on the sofa.

“N-no not at all! I kind of forgot where we were, to be honest. I’m sorry I took up your time when you were busy I’m gonn-” Takemichi was cut short of his babbling when Mikey tilted his head slightly at him and reached out to interlock their hands on Takemichi’s lap. 

Mikey was so beautiful it made Takemichi freeze up at times, and he had an inkling the idol was doing it purposefully if the sly smile on his face right now was anything to go by.

“Please stay…?” He said, lowly.

“Uh..” Takemichi gulped, looking away because he couldn’t handle the center of attention to such a beautiful man, “I want to, but I also don’t wanna bother you at work. Mikey-kun, I can tell you cherish your job a lot, so I don’t want you to feel like you need to compromise because of me..”

“You’re not a bother,” He scooped closer on the couch, holding his face in his hands and kissing the side of his temples, “Although I won’t promise anything about compromise.” Mikey laughed, “To me, Takemitchy, you are just as important as my work. But at least I’ll try to compromise it into a balance..?”

So does that make us.. lovers? Takemichi wanted to ask, but was too scared to break whatever fragile thing they had between them right now. He didn’t know what Mikey’s boundaries would be with his career line.

“Oh, only if you’re fine with it, of course.” Mikey added.

“...Huh?” Takemichi said, confused.

“I mean dating, you dummy.” Mikey laughed once again, “You know… I don’t know how you feel about dating a guy, let alone an idol so, um..”

Takemichi raised his eyebrows, “we just had a mini make-out session, what do you mean you don’t know ?” Memories of their kiss earlier flashing in his mind and having him feel hot again, as he cleared his throat and continued, “Rather than me, I’m not sure about you, Mikey-kun."

“Hm? What about me?”

Did this guy just have no self-awareness?

“You know, you’re an idol.. I don’t know what kind of regulations there are, but I heard a lot of people don’t date ‘n’ all…” Takemichi voiced his concerns.

Mikey furrowed his eyebrows, “Well, thank god my agency doesn’t have that kind of rule, then. In fact, I’d say they are really open.” He then clung to Takemichi again, hugging him tightly, “And besides, after all those years, I won’t let some outsider separate us. I finally got you, I’m not planning to let you go. Ever.”

The black-haired man laughed heartily at his antics, their commander has always been the possessive type after all, this attitude wasn’t anything surprising.

“I’m glad then.” He said, hugging back, “I don’t want to have to let you go either..”

After that, Mikey got a message from his manager which read, ‘ if you’re still not close to being done, I’m kicking down that door and dragging you. ’

Therefore, once they’d exchanged contact information, Takemichi decided to return home for the day (after much convincing, because Mikey wasn’t kidding when he said he wouldn’t let him go). He promised they’d meet more from now on, and made plans for the next day since Mikey had it off since it was a post-concert day.

—

December 22nd.

Manjirou stretched his limbs, the meeting ran longer than usual and he checked his phone, it was already only half an hour left until the promised time. He sighed, quickly opening his most recent convo on LINE,

I may be a bit late. Meeting ran for too long.

He immediately got a reply from the other line which had him smile at his phone, 

‘Good work today. I told you not to worry about that, we’re just hanging out at home so it’s not like ur missing anything’

Mikey texted back, I’m missing your face? ;)

‘God you’re insufferable.’ He laughed internally at that. 

Ping, ‘Stop texting and get your ass here, then.’

His boyfriend was adorable, and Manjirou was living in bliss right now.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to seeing you act that way,” a deep voice came from the man still sitting at the head of the meeting table, “How’s he doing, by the way?”

Manjirou rolled his eyes playfully at his CEO, “Why does it matter to you?”

“Why of course it does! He always puts you in such a good mood it makes you easier to deal with. He is truly an angel sent from heaven, that boy, so I will ask about his wellbeing!” The president replied just as jokingly.

Shortly after they’d started going out, Manjirou brought Takemichi to the agency at the insistent nagging of both his manager and president to introduce him. Takemichi didn’t visit the agency much after that, but the managerial team started to pick up that when Manjirou was in a particularly good mood, it most likely had to do with Takemichi.

He put his phone in his pocket and started wearing his coat as well as a face mask and scarf around his neck, this was sufficient disguise, he thought as he started to head out.

“I’ll tell him you said hi.” Manjirou quickly waved, making a beeline to the exit of the building.

It was against his manager’s insistence that Manjirou headed to the decided place by train. It was already getting late, and central Tokyo was hell to drive around, so Manjirou ignored her cautions and ran to the train station, his nose getting slightly red from the cold air rushing through his face.

Upon getting on the train successfully without getting noticed, Manjirou occupied one corner of the train, trying to attract the least possible attention.

“Did you hear about Mikey’s latest single!” A girl said excitedly to her friend, and Manjirou felt his heart stop for a second because one of his fans was close. He adjusted the cap he wore and pretended to look out the window in an attempt to hide as much of his face as possible.

“It’s coming out on Christmas Eve, right? I can’t wait for it~” Her friend replied.

“I bet it's going to be a love song.”

“Hm? Why do you think so?”

Yea, why? Manjirou thought, surprised at her correct predictions. He usually had a good balance of different themes he wrote about in his songs, so it wasn’t like he exclusively or almost always sang love songs.

“Just a hunch?” The girl laughed, “The other day, I entered his singing livestream, and he kept covering all kinds of love songs! Maybe something happened? But I think he’s been more interested in them these days!”

Mikey almost flinched, they do say don’t underestimate fans’ observation skills, huh?

“Ahh, like he has someone in his life?”

“Maybe?” The girl said, looking at her phone background, which was a picture of the idol, “It’s a bit lonely but if that's the case, I’d be happy for him! He seems like he’s really enjoying his time these days too, I really love seeing him like that.”

Mikey’s heart felt full, he felt genuinely grateful to have supportive and understanding fans. Not everyone may be like them, but they were one of the reasons Mikey always kept going in his career.

As the train stopped at his destination, he moved from his corner and walked closer to where the girls stood in front of the door. Before leaving, he quickly glanced at the two, feeling their eyes on him. Their expressions immediately gave away that they had an inkling as to Mikey’s identity.

He raised his index finger to his lips and quietly said “Shhh..,” winking at them quickly as he stepped out onto the platform and the train doors closed behind him. He saw shock and panic rise in the two girls’ faces, laughing lightly as he exited the station and headed to Takemichi’s apartment, his mood made even better by the two at the train. 

—

“ You’re the one who made me realize

How happy it is

To be able to say ‘see you tomorrow,’

I want to stay in your embrace forever,

So I will take your hands in mine even on every ordinary day.”

The velvety voice played from the audio file on Takemichi’s phone, the song ending with a piano outro. Takemichi’s face was red after listening to the song that his boyfriend had sent him with the text message, “ I wrote this song thinking of you.”

If the last two months of their relationship taught him anything, it was that Mikey took every opportunity he got to profess his love. And he loved doing that through songs a lot .

There was a time that Mikey was livestreaming while Takemichi was hanging out in the background, trying his best not to make any suspicious sounds so as not to start any scandal or another. Mikey, on the other hand, was completely worry-free. He started singing requested cover songs from his fans on the stream with his guitar.

Then he started to sing ‘10000 hours’ by Justin Bieber while glancing over at Takemichi every so often. The black-haired boy never knew how to react, especially when Mikey’s attention was on him while he sang, he’d awkwardly fidget in his place, feeling his face turn red, and try to hide some of it with his hand. And he knew Mikey relished in his embarrassment each time, maybe that’s why he’d done it pretty often whenever they were together.

But Takemichi would be lying if he said he hated it. In fact, he kind of liked the attention. He liked how that beautiful voice sang words of affection meant to be directed toward Takemichi. It gave him butterflies in his stomach, and his heart fluttered whenever that happened.

He tapped his phone, replaying the audio file and going back to preparing their dinner before Mikey arrived at his place.

Takemichi started practicing how to cook recently, he’d wanted a way to show Mikey how much he cared for him. He wanted to give rather than just take all that Mikey had given him since the start of their relationship.

He wasn’t at the level of a chef, of course, but he was at the level that he could prepare a hearty homemade meal. Mikey always ate with such enthusiasm too, which made him all the more motivated to keep cooking.

Today, they were celebrating a little early-Christmas dinner at Takemichi’s apartment. Dating an idol came with many restrictions, so they couldn’t go out in public for dates, and they couldn’t just meet on any day. Since Mikey’s schedule was full for Christmas eve and the day of, they’d decided on having a little dinner celebration today instead.

Takemichi didn’t mind it much, it got a bit frustrating at times, but he knew how much Mikey cared for his job and to be honest, he was satisfied just being able to spend time with his boyfriend regardless of where they were.

He cut into the fried chicken, checking to see if it was cooked through and smiled to himself in a satisfied way.

At that moment, he heard the doorbell ring.

Knowing exactly who it was, he hurried to the entrance, ladle strainer still in his other hand as he opened the door revealing the silver-haired man he’d been waiting for.

“Mikey-kun!” He said, happiness lacing his voice like an excited puppy whose owner just came back from work.

“Takemitchy!” The other replied with the same kind of excitement, he quickly brought their faces closer together, placing a little peck on Takemichi’s lips, “I’m sorry I’m late! Something smells good in here~” He said, now stepping into the warm apartment and removing his shoes at the entrance.

“No worries, I was just finishing up frying the chicken!” He said, starting to head back to the kitchen and flipped the last batch of chicken pieces in the oil over. “Kaji-san said not to let you eat any fried food but…” His eyes glinted mischievously, “I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if it's just for today…?”

Mikey giggled, rebellion looked cute on his boyfriend, he just wanted to kiss the breath out of him for making such a cute expression. He’d spare him now though. Wouldn’t want the kitchen to light up on fire. Instead, he went behind him and wrapped his arms around the other’s torso, his nose nuzzling against Takemichi’s soft curls and taking in the fresh scent of his shampoo.

“She doesn’t need to know~” He said, now leaning his head on Takemichi’s shoulders.

“Here, munch on this.” Takemichi reached out over his shoulder with his chopsticks, sticking half a chicken into Mikey’s mouth, “And let me move, I’m still cooking.” He said with a light push, the smile on his face gave away that he wasn’t really that bothered by it.

Mikey moved away and headed to the cupboard, still munching on the chicken, “It tastes so good, you’re a chef at this point!” He opened the cupboard, reaching out for wine glasses, “By the way, I got us some wine to go with dinner. You don’t have work tomorrow, right?”

“Yup, thanks.” Takemichi said, putting the rest of the food on a serving plate and bringing it to the already set-up table. “All done.”

“Ohhh, candles,” Mikey pointed out as he walked to the small dining table next to kitchen area, wiggling his eyebrows and looking at Takemichi knowingly, “How romantic of you~”

Takemichi looked away to hide the creeping blushing on his face, he really wished he could control himself from reacting to Mikey’s teasing. “Oh shut up.”

Mikey didn’t say anything more but silently approached Takemichi, holding his face between two hands so he could get a better look on the beautiful reddened cheeks before him. Takemichi adjusted quickly, sighing lightly and wrapping his arms around Mikey's lower back, leaning in and meeting Mikey’s lips halfway.

After a few seconds had passed, Mikey pulled away, putting his forehead against Takemichi’s, “Thank you. For cooking dinner. And for loving me back. And being the best boyfriend ever.”

Takemichi chuckled, “What the heck? I could say the same to you. In fact, it’s more unbelievable that a person like you would like, let alone date, me.”

At that, Mikey frowned “What’s that supposed to mean?” He leaned in so their noses touched, “Don’t make fun of my 12 years of pining.”

Takemichi looked taken aback, his eyes immediately turning into a soft gaze, he cut the distance between their faces again to kiss Mikey, “I love you.” He mumbled.

“Mm,” Mikey hummed in satisfaction, “I love you too, I love you a thousand times over.” He whispered, tucking some of Takemichi’s messy curls behind his ears.

They both pulled away at the same time after a few seconds of silence.

“Shall we eat, then!” Mikey said cheerfully.

“Yup.” Takemichi replied, a bit bashful. He sat in front of Mikey at their table with fried chicken, apple salad, pickled veggies, mini tacos, and a bowl of rice in front of each. Of course, they had a whole strawberry sponge cake, too, because what's a Christmas dinner celebration without some cake?

They sat down and started catching up about what had happened since they last saw each other. Their conversations went from work, to nostalgic memories of the past, to what kind of TV series they were into these days. 

They got into a comfortable position on Takemichi’s foldable couch in the middle of the room as they continued talking about whatever came to mind. Sometimes, they would fall into a comfortable silence. Takemichi leaned into Mikey’s chest, one of Mikey’s arms around his shoulders while the other carded through his hair, enjoying the simple intimacy of being so close to the other’s body.

Takemichi felt his eyelids getting heavy, the effect from the wine he’d drank earlier already taking its toll on him and lulling him to sleep. He didn’t really try to resist it either, he knew Mikey would stay the night with him so it was reassuring to know he’d wake up to his face the next morning.

Having realized Takemichi was starting to drift into slumber, Mikey started to hum a song. He starting to sing in a low, relaxed voice,

“We laugh together, we cry together 

These simple feelings were everything I had 

When will it be? 

If I see you again, I will look into your eyes 

And say, "I missed you"”

“I love that song,” Takemichi commented, half asleep already. “Well, I love all your songs but… This one is my favorite.”

Mikey hummed, smiling and looking down at his boyfriend’s peaceful face, “It’s my favorite too.”

Takemichi didn’t say anything more, and soon enough, he started taking soft and slow breaths.

I thought I would hate it, because it reminded me of feelings that I thought would never get reciprocated. Mikey thought, fingers still combing through the sleeping boy’s hair. But now it's a testament to my feelings .

“As usual, you made me like something I’d completely given up on.” He mumbled, talking to Takemichi but really just whispering to himself.

Eventually, he started humming it again,

“ Though our steps may not go along together, I want to walk this path with you, still with you. ”