Work Text:
Felix is having a crisis. A love crisis, to be specific.
He squints down at the offending web page currently on his phone’s display and frowns, dripping with disappointment. Of course, the results of the search don’t change and he’s left with nothing to do except let the phone drop back into his lap with a huff.
Over three-thousand, seven hundred works under the xiaoven tag on archiveofourown-dot-org and somehow, Felix has managed to run out of content to binge read. He feels deeply unsettled by the prospect of not having anything to occupy him until the early hours of the morning, uncaring of the way his eyes burn with fatigue, his body insistent on trying to get whatever rest it can. But dammit, Felix has very little reign on his self-control when it comes to trivial things like instant gratification from having his heart broken and put back together again by an anonymous screenname at 2:30am on a Wednesday, and it’s not like he was stupid or self-loathing enough to schedule early morning lectures like other people he knows (*cough* Seungmin *cough*), so it’s whatever.
The point is, now that he’s consumed all the archive has to offer him, he’s got nothing. And seeing as Felix isn’t really that invested in the lore of the game itself, he has little interest in any of the other characters. To him, the hit mobile game Genshin Impact might as well be “Xiao, Venti, and all their satellites”. He only knows surface level details about the roster of forty-plus names outside of how to maximize their damage. He sure as hell isn’t going to get emotionally attached to Zhongli and Childe, whose dialogue he barely skims even though they make up the most popular ship tag under the fandom.
And Felix is desperate, but not quite desperate enough to throw away his dignity and read some of the more… out there works. It’s not his place to judge, but he’s a bit picky when it comes to what he’ll allow himself to witness.
Feeling vaguely defeated, Felix slumps against the window behind him, trying his best to ignore the way the bus jostles over the cracks in the roads.
==
He’s jostled awake by cold fingers pressing against the back of his neck. A full-body shiver runs through him as he blinks the sleepiness away and the familiar sound of Hyunjin’s laughter - a high, sudden sound that bubbles up out of his chest - fills his ears.
Felix groans into the textbook he must have been using as a pillow.
“You monster. How could you betray me like this?” he whines, turning his head on the desk to see Hyunjin place a frappuccino, more whipped cream than coffee, into his line of sight.
“I’m the only reason you get up in the mornings,” Hyunjin scoffs in mock offense. He pokes Felix’s cheek and scrunches up his own features playfully. “You should be thanking me, Yongbokkie~.”
Felix sticks his tongue out, and Hyunjin pulls away with a roll of his eyes to wander the small space that is Felix and Seungmin’s shared dorm. He looks way too composed for this early in the morning. With his long hair slicked back and wearing a hoodie and dark jeans of complementary colors, Hyunjin is the living, breathing definition of ‘boyfriend aesthetic’.
Felix sits up with a low grumble, but he reaches to sip at the drink gratefully letting the sugary taste fuel him, shutting the textbook and wiping at the indents the pages surely left on his cheeks.
Hyunjin knocks expectantly against the doorway to Felix’s tiny room.
“Well?”
With a surge of confidence he swears comes from the rush of caffeine, Felix swivels in his chair and bats his eyelashes in an overly exaggerated manner. He pitches his voice up to reply.
“Thank you, Hyunjinnie. I love you, Hyunjinnie,” Felix grins, partly to be annoying and partly to see the way the tips of Hyunjin’s ears turn red at the declaration.
“Tch, hurry up and drink your coffee so you can shower. You stink.” Hyunjin swats at him as Felix moves past him to access his clothing drawer.
Felix makes a noise that’s neither a confirmation nor denial as he wrestles with his underwear one-handed.
“You’re disgusting,” Hyunjin says mildly, but the fondness in his voice betrays him.
“You adore me,” Felix retorts, grabs the rest of his toiletries, finishes off the coffee, and throws Hyunjin a wink over his shoulder, sweeping out of the room and towards the tragically communal bathrooms.
He hears the bubbles of laughter again behind him, bright and floaty, and warmth blossoms in his veins at having caused it.
==
After the fourth consecutive day of falling asleep over his work and being woken either by Seungmin’s obnoxious as fuck alarm, or Hyunjin devising new and interesting ways to startle a man from the reprieve of his dreams, Felix decides studying is way overrated and he’ll take his chances on the next quiz in his computer science class.
He rereads one of his favorite bookmarked fics to try and fall asleep to. And god, maybe he’s a bit of a masochist because he doesn’t even make it halfway through before he’s in tears.
Felix should have expected it. He knows the plot of this one like the back of his hand, and the sheer amount of emotional hurt is somehow worse the second time around because he knows what to look for. All the little moments of foreshadowing, and the subtle tells in the character actions - yeah, he’s sobbing his eyes out a little. Silently, of course, because Seungmin will never let him live it down if Felix wakes him crying the night before an exam over Genshin Impact.
He sets his phone down and sneaks out into the communal dorm kitchen, in search of the comfort of hot cocoa.
To his surprise, there’s already someone standing in front of the microwave, light from the inside casting the lean figure in a soft glow.
“Oh, hi Hyunjinnie,” Felix calls out softly. Hyunjin still jumps a little as Felix slides into place next to him, leaning on the counter.
“Yongbokkie,” he breathes, “what are you doing up?”
“I could ask you the same question,” Felix responds, his eyes soft with the late hour.
“I’m finishing an art project that’s due tomorrow.” He glances at the clock on the stove. “Or, today, I guess.”
The microwave beeps once to signal it’s completed its task, and Hyunjin silences it before it can make any more noise. He retrieves a mug from inside, steaming with warmth.
“Is that coffee?”
“Tea. Seungminnie will yell at me if I drink any more americano in this 24-hour period.”
Felix laughs softly, because yeah, that sounds exactly like something Seungmin would do.
Hyunjin takes a long sip and hums with appreciation. “Did you want coffee?”
Felix shakes his head. “Hot cocoa.”
Hyunjin turns to squint critically at him. “You’ve been crying, haven’t you?”
Felix is too shocked to be embarrassed at being immediately called out. “How did you know that?”
“You always drink hot cocoa after crying. It reminds you of home.” He says this like it’s no big deal, like it’s a universal fact of life.
“I guess I do…” Felix concedes. “Still, I’m surprised you noticed.”
Hyunjin half-smiles at him like he’s said something funny. Felix should be able to tell what it means, but he’s too caught up in the feeling of being known. “Did something happen?”
He shakes his head. “Nothing serious, just something I was reading hit a little too close to home.”
“Hmm,” Hyunjin hums again, sets his tea down to retrieve another mug from the cabinets, and rifles in the tea boxes for a packet of hot cocoa powder. He slides his findings on the counter next to Felix with that same little half-smile.
“Good night, Lix,” he says softly, eyes curving into crescent shapes as he leaves, his own mug in hand.
“Good night,” Felix says back, and he thinks about that smile for the entire two minutes it takes to heat up milk for the hot cocoa.
==
A few days later, he’s thinking about what’s been dubbed as ‘The XiaoVen Conundrum’ in his head. He’s not artistically gifted - not like Hyunjin is - but god, does he have ideas. There’re at least six different scenarios he’s been craving to read for forever, but he could never find anything published that was close enough to satisfy the urge. And, well, he does know of one way to remedy this.
Giving into the itch that’s been growing in the back of his mind, he quickly walks to his favorite library on campus after his classes are over for the day, takes a seat and pulls out his computer.
Felix slides on his headphones (the noise-canceling ones, for optimal productivity), pulls up the lyrics to the song that’s been on the forefront of his thoughts for the past few days, and writes like he hasn’t since he was sixteen and still procrastinated essays until the day before they were due.
==
Hyunjin finds him there nearing midnight, worry evident on his face.
“Lix-ah,” he hisses as he tears the headphones from over Felix’s ears. “What the fuck are you doing here so late? Why didn’t you answer your phone? I thought you were dead in a ditch or something, you asshole.”
Felix blinks up at him belatedly, mouth parted in an ‘o’ shape at being pulled from the depths of his immersion so suddenly. Then he registers what Hyunjin said, and a quick turn of his head to look out the window confirms that yes, it is in fact pitch-black outside. A wave of guilt floods him because holy shit he didn’t realize what time it was. He scrambles for his phone and a glance at his notifications reveals thirty-six missed calls and five unread messages from Hyunjin since ten. He shrinks under Hyunjin’s withering gaze, appropriately chastised.
“Sorry, sorry I put my phone on do not disturb when I got here and then just… got a little too into the zone, I guess?”
Hyunjin scowls but the way he reaches to envelop the smaller in his arms betrays him. His cheek presses against the top of Felix’s head, and Felix can feel the frown he’s sporting even without seeing his face.
“You never stay out this late alone without telling anybody.”
“I know.”
“I’m so angry at you.”
“I know.”
“You’re so stupid.” His fingers brush the nape of Felix’s neck, like he’s reassuring himself that the other is really there.
“Yeah,” Felix croaks out, a fragile feeling growing in his chest. “I know.”
Hyunjin pulls back and stares directly into Felix’s eyes, hands planted firmly on his shoulders.
“Come on, let’s go eat hotteok.” It’s not a request.
They go and eat hotteok.
==
“What were you even writing yesterday?” Hyunjin asks out of the blue, licking bits of semi melted ice cream off his spoon, and leaning against the headboard and pillows. Felix forces his eyes not to linger and sways a little from where he’s sitting on his bed facing his friend, sticking his own spoon into the strawberry flavored goodness.
“Promise you won’t judge?”
Hyunjin raises his eyebrows. “Is it… sexual?”
Felix chokes around his bite of ice cream and coughs out a lung.
Hyunjin eyes him, not doing anything to help. “That’s a yes, then?”
“No!” Felix coughs out. “It’s just fanfiction.”
“That doesn’t mean it’s not sexual,” he points out, and the far-away look in his eyes is reminiscent of war flashbacks.
“Well, the one I’m writing isn’t. It’s just a little embarrassing to admit, cause I’ve never attempted it before.”
Understanding flashes across Hyunjin’s features, and he nods reassuringly. “I’m sure it’s great, knowing you. You’re amazing at everything you put your mind to.”
Felix flushes a bit under the earnest compliment, and mumbles out a thank you.
They both finish off their ice cream and set aside the now-empty cups, and Hyunjin asks, “Tell me about it - your story?”
Felix lights up at the request. “Okay so, it’s a modern setting, but sort of also reincarnation? The basic premise is that Venti is a young adult plagued by ghosts - which are really his past lives, as well as that of the other characters under his dominion, cause he was originally the anemo god, right? He was the one who gave everyone their wind powers - but he’s convinced he’s just hallucinating all the time. Xiao from the game canon is one of the ghosts that keeps showing up, and he talks to Venti like Venti should know who he is, but he doesn't. And they’re both so tortured.”
He launches into a tangent about the lore and theories surrounding Venti and Xiao in-game, as well as his plans for bits of dialogue and worldbuilding, talking animatedly with his hands.
Several minutes go by as Hyunjin nods his head along to his rambling, but Felix catches the unfocused look in his eyes and trails off. “...Are you listening?”
The look in Hyunjin’s eyes seems to become one of pure, concentrated fondness, and he says, almost without realizing, “I think I love you.”
Felix gapes, completely unprepared for the revelation. “Oh.”
Hyunjin’s expression is shy and nervous, but it’s also open and so obviously hopeful that Felix is struck silent.
In the space of three seconds, every memory he has of Hyunjin surges forward, bringing with them a sort of blanketed warmth, familiarity, comfort. A hidden knowledge about their relationship makes itself known, and it feels like an old friend returned. Oh.
“I think I love you, too.” He settles into the awareness easily, and then they’re both looking at each other with something close to adoration.
“Oh,” Hyunjin says, fighting a smile and failing. “Good.”
Felix scoots closer to where he’s sitting on the bed, and takes up the space right beside him.
The tangible warmth of Hyunjin’s body against his feels as natural as breathing.
==
They’re having a stare-down in the common room, Hyunjin holding Felix’s computer above his head because he may or may not be neglecting to study for an upcoming exam. Felix has asked for it back three times now, and Hyunjin is sternly refusing, even though the exam isn’t for another two days.
It's an unstoppable force (Felix’s need to get words on paper) vs… well, actually Hyunjin is a very movable object. Felix pouts, putting on sad eyes, and Hyunjin crumbles like a castle built on sand.
“Okay, fine,” he sighs, “but you owe me a kiss when you’re done.”
“Yes!” Felix cheers when Hyunjin hands him his computer. He’s so close to being done with his fic. Just a couple more scenes, and a few more tweaks here and there…
“Is that all?”
Hyunjin pretends to think about it. “And a cafe date.”
“Done,” Felix says and leans up to press a fleeting kiss to Hyunjin’s cheek, just to see how quickly his ears turn red. God, he has no right to be so endearing. “You can have as many kisses and dates as you want, Hyunjinnie.”
Hyunjin buries his face in his hands, and Felix laughs, floaty with delight and the promise of contented love.