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The morning of his fifteenth birthday, Quinlan eagerly checked the outside of his left thigh. His soulmate was...
Obi-Wan Kenobi.
Quinlan stared at the name for a bit. Obi-Wan, who had turned thirteen just a month previous and was no longer in the Temple was his soulmate.
Obi-Wan had been sent to the AgriCorps, and no one had heard from him since.
Quinlan still wasn't certain how he felt about that whole thing. Because if Obi-Wan had too much of a temper to be a padawan, despite how much he tried, if Obi-Wan was too emotional, too much, then Quinlan certainly should have been given even less of a chance.
It was also just weird that Obi-Wan was sent to an AgriCorp outpost. Usually initiates were sent to a training place, if they didn't stay in the Temple for the basics. But it wasn't unheard of for an initiate to be sent to an outpost; usually for those who they thought needed a full break from the Temple, to help them adjust to the idea they would not be a Knight as they had dreamed. Obi-Wan fit yet it just didn't seem right for him to be sent away like that.
Quinlan decided he wasn't going to bother sharing the name of his soulmate. It wasn't uncommon for Jedi to choose to keep it secret. After all, it was dangerous to be a soulmate to a Jedi. It wasn't uncommon for them to know their soulmate and chose to wait to bring it up, usually for when the soulmate is of age. So no one would question him if he didn't say a word.
.
Obi-Wan came back. He was quieter, more obedient. He somehow had a much improved grip on his temper problem. He had little free time, focused on his studies.
On his need to prove himself for his master. For Qui-Gon.
Quinlan respected that, and just did his best to be his friend. For his soulmate. Obi-Wan deserved better than what the galaxy had given him so far in his life.
Obi-Wan went through other trials, and each made him withdraw more into himself, but more determined to be the best Jedi he could be, even as he never seemed to get his master's approval. Even as Qui-Gon's love stayed just out of reach.
But that was all fine. Quinlan was supportive. He wanted his friend happy, and them being soulmates wasn't important. Being friends were, being supportive was.
Especially since Obi-Wan was supportive when Quinlan needed it too. When Quinlan was dealing with insecurities regarding how others found him annoying and didn't want to be his friend. When Quinlan was dealing with insecurities on if he could ever completely avoid using the Dark Side.
But then...
They had been hanging out with a group of padawans. Obi-Wan was fourteen, his fifteenth birthday rapidly approaching. Bant was the youngest at thirteen, and the oldest was Kit at twenty. This was just their typical friend group.
"So, Obi-Wan, excited to learn if you have a soulmate?" Luminara asked.
Obi-Wan groaned. "I don't need a soulmate. I don't want a soulmate."
Quinlan was glad no one was looking at him as he froze with disbelief.
"Really? Why?" Bant asked.
"Seems like more trouble than they're worth. It's hard to maintain a relationship as a Jedi and soulmate relationships look even harder. I don't want to deal with that. I don't have time for that."
Quinlan swallowed and sat up, wrapping his arms around his legs as he listened. He was thankful that everyone was focused on Obi-Wan. He didn't need them to see how upset he was. Didn't need them to connect the dots and feel sympathetic for him.
"Oh, really?" Kit prodded lightly. "You don't like the idea of someone who is meant to be the one person who fits you best? Someone who will be there for you, who can help you when you need them to?"
Obi-Wan shrugged. "I just don't think I can have a soulmate and be a Jedi. I don't really care for the idea of soulmates, anyways."
"Then what are you going to do if your soulmate finds you?" Luminara asked.
"Let them down gently. I wouldn't be the first person to not want a soulmate."
Quinlan's heart ached. Obi-Wan didn't want a soulmate. Didn't want a relationship. Didn't want Quinlan. He was rejected. And he dare not bring it up or he would be rejected to his face, and he didn't think he could handle that.
"So, how are you going to handle the name?" Garen asked curiously.
Obi-Wan shrugged. "There's those patches that are semi-permanent. I'll just put one on before bed the night before my birthday and never look. Then I won't know who it is, if I even have one. Not that it matters."
Quinlan was relieved when the subject was changed shortly after.
That night he cried. Cried so hard about how his soulmate didn't want him. He and Obi-Wan fit so well together. It was clear why they were soulmates. But Obi-Wan didn't want a soulmate.
He was relieved when he and Tholme were assigned a mission the next day. It gave him time to come to terms with being rejected. Time to form a plan.
Obi-Wan didn't want a soulmate or a relationship. But he did want friends. And they had always been good friends.
Quinlan was going to be the best friend he could for Obi-Wan. He would never let other feelings get in the way of their friendship. No matter how it hurt. Obi-Wan would never know the truth.
.
Quinlan stuck with his decision over the years, no matter how much it hurt. Obi-Wan never seemed to notice that Quinlan's name was on his thigh. Never seemed to realize that Quinlan had other thoughts in mind with their friendship.
Quinlan stuck to the boundaries he had laid out. He was the best friend he could be. He took on Aayla as a Padawan a little early; he hadn't felt ready, but with Obi-Wan getting Anakin, he felt like it was necessary. And it brought them closer together.
Over the years, soulmates came up again and again with Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan moved away from the idea that soulmates and Jedi didn't work. It helped that he had learned that Mace and Plo were soulmates, and that Shaak and Feemor were soulmates.
He still didn't think it was for him. And Quinlan respected that. He stuck by Obi-Wan's side when he was grieving Qui-Gon. He was as available as he could be to help with Anakin. He did his best not to need help, and tried not to rely on Obi-Wan when he did need help.
Quinlan just didn't want to make Obi-Wan uncomfortable.
.
War started. For the first time since Obi-Wan declared he didn't want a soulmate, Quinlan considered telling Obi-Wan. He couldn't get up the courage to. Too long of keeping it secret.
And then there was that conversation he had overheard when he was working with the 212th and the 501st on a campaign that had a side of intel gathering.
It started with the clones talking about the whole soulmate thing. None of them had soulmates, though all the Jedi suspected that they would get their names at fifteen, just like the rest of the galaxy. Since the oldest was ten when the war started... well that was a ways off.
Besides. Quinlan knew full well that Aayla had her commander's name on her thigh. She had been so confused the morning of her fifteenth birthday to just have 'Bly' such a short name with no family name. Not unheard of but certainly strange. He couldn't forget that if he tried.
Anakin jumped in to talk about how he had been confused by his name because Padme apparently didn't use her actual last name publicly to protect her family. But she was quick to talk to him about his name being on her thigh.
Ahsoka didn't have a name yet. She was going to turn fifteen in a few months and then she would know.
"What about you, Grandmaster?" Ahsoka asked Obi-Wan.
Quinlan was normally amused by his best friend, his soulmate, his love being called 'Grandmaster' but this time he couldn't be. Because once again he was going to have to listen to Obi-Wan say he didn't want a soulmate.
Obi-Wan shrugged. "I probably have a soulmate. I've never looked. I do not particularly care about soulmates."
Everyone stared at him but Quinlan and Anakin. Anakin was just rolling his eyes. Quinlan was just focusing on his cup of caf, not wanting to betray any emotions.
It never stopped hurting to hear Obi-Wan reject him so casually and unknowingly. It never stopped hurting knowing Obi-Wan would reject him if he did know.
"Are you serious?" Cody finally asked after the silence dragged on.
"I do not have the time for relationships. And soulmates are just... tricky. It is of no matter to me. I am happy with the friendships I do have." Obi-Wan smiled at them all. Including Quinlan.
Quinlan grinned his usual grin back, beating back the hopeful part of him that said Obi-Wan was looking at him more than the others. It was useless to hope. Obi-Wan was never going to love him the way Quinlan loved him.
He had made his peace with that years ago but it never stopped hurting.
"What about you, Master Quin?" Ahsoka asked.
Quinlan almost choked on his caf. Pretty much no one asked him about it. Tholme had briefly asked if he had one but not for any details on who or anything. Aayla asked once and he just told her it was a sore subject and she never asked again.
So aside from a note in his medical files that his soulmate was unaware they were soulmates and whoever ended up seeing it over the years when he needed to be treated... no one knew.
And he wanted to keep it that way.
"Ah, well..." He scrambled for something to say. "I recognized the name when I got it but didn't think I'd ever see them again and made my peace with never getting to be with my soulmate." There. Close enough to the truth, but not there entirely. That would have to do.
He was relieved when no one pursued for further information. Though Obi-Wan was frowning at him for it. Great. He might have to deal with an interrogation about it later.
.
Thankfully, Obi-Wan never did push him, though he did assure Quinlan he was willing to listen if Quinlan ever felt comfortable talking about it. Quinlan agreed.
He would never feel comfortable talking to Obi-Wan about how his soulmate didn't want a soulmate. Because Obi-Wan was his soulmate and didn't know it.
Quinlan just held onto the secret tighter. He would never tell Obi-Wan. Never make Obi-Wan uncomfortable. He would just help Obi-Wan in whatever way Obi-Wan needed and allowed.
It had been enough so far. It would have to continue to be enough.
No matter how much his heart ached.
.
Obi-Wan volunteered to be the person helping Quinlan investigate the Sith. He needed a break from big battles. Something more Jedi like would be nice. And this was Quinlan. He wasn't letting his best friend go in without good back up.
He worried about Quinlan sometimes. He was usually fine. Couldn't get anything past Obi-Wan, even when he tried. But sometimes... sometimes... Quinlan just seemed so sad, like he was hurting.
And shortly after the start of the war, Obi-Wan started to get an idea why. It was soulmate related. And Quinlan probably didn't feel like he could talk to him because he knew Obi-Wan's opinions on soulmates.
It just proved that soulmates were more trouble than they were worth. Causing so much pain and heartache.
So Obi-Wan wanted to be there for his friend. He just didn't know how. Quinlan had held this secret for so long. Even Tholme and Aayla knew nothing about the situation.
And anyways, it had been a long time since they had been on a mission together. They had one to chase down Ziro and Cad Bane that didn't go well, but that was the first in seven years. Not that they had ever been on missions together often before, but that was still a long time.
As soon as they entered the hideout, the Separatists surrounded them. They were captured, rope of all things tied around their wrists.
They endured some mild torture, some taunting and waited.
Then Dooku appeared. "Ah... Master Kenobi and Master Vos. I wasn't expecting to capture two Jedi with this trap."
"Well that's just the way things went," Obi-Wan responded calmly. "What do you want this time?"
Dooku laughed cruelly. "I just wanted to take out any Jedi I could. Some more torture, and then you can die. Or maybe they'll torture you to death. I did promise them sport."
Obi-Wan looked to those that captured them. They were all sporting vicious grins. Wonderful.
The torture started almost immediately.
Obi-Wan and Quinlan waited until they were certain Dooku was off the planet. Then, they moved. Rope wasn't going to be enough to hold a Jedi.
But they were more outmatched than they thought.
Obi-Wan cried out when they yanked on the rope still around one of his hands and it burned. He fell forward, being pulled off balance.
They took advantage.
Quinlan threw himself into the fight. Obi-Wan fought his way free with the distraction, and got the rope off of his hands. They fought together until they were racing for the door.
When they were nearly out, Obi-Wan felt a blaster bolt hit his shoulder. He stumbled.
"GO!" Quinlan yelled, shoving him out the door.
Obi-Wan stumbled before running. He reached something he could duck be hind and turned around. He was stunned to find that Quinlan had fallen, hit by bolts. Quinlan had just saved him... And was being brought in for more torture.
Obi-Wan cursed and moved away from the area. He spent the next few hours taking care of the wounds he had and formulating a plan.
.
The plan worked, somehow. He dragged an unconscious Quinlan out of there and to the little camp Obi-Wan had set up for them. Quinlan looked awful.
Obi-Wan set about cleaning up Quinlan's wounds and bandaging them. He was working on the broken bones in Quinlan's left leg, when he noticed that there was a tear in Quinlan's pants and he could see the soulmate lettering peeking through.
He didn't think anything of it, just focusing on taking care of his friend. The next time he spotted it, he realized that what was peeking through spelled 'Ken' Which was...
Obi-Wan finished taking care of all the injuries, hesitated, and looked.
Obi-Wan Kenobi
Obi-Wan gasped and sat back. What? He looked down at his own thigh. After double checking on Quinlan, he took a moment to remove his pants so he could remove the patch and see if Quinlan really was his soulmate.
Sure enough...
Quinlan Vos
His best friend was his soulmate all along. Quinlan was his soulmate. Obi-Wan wished he'd known. He would've been okay about that.
Wait, what had Quinlan said about his soulmate?
"I recognized the name when I got it but didn't think I'd ever see them again and made my peace with never getting to be with my soulmate."
Oh, Quinlan's birthday was after he'd been sent to the AgriCorps but before he'd become a padawan. And... Quinlan had made his peace with never getting to be with his soulmate... because his soulmate was Obi-Wan, who kept saying he didn't want or need a soulmate.
...No wonder Quinlan never wanted to talk about it.
Obi-Wan put his head in his hands. He was an idiot. He didn't deserve Quinlan, still sticking around and being a good friend rather than disappearing or revealing it to try to push him into something he didn't want.
Poor Quinlan. No wonder he often seemed so sad.
Kriff, what should Obi-Wan do?
.
Quinlan was pleased to see Obi-Wan get away, even as they dragged him back inside. Good. One of them was getting out of this messed up situation.
He ignored the taunts and yelling. All the threats. He had done what he could. His soulmate escaped. That was good enough.
The beatings were intense, the injuries piled up and got worse. Quinlan closed his eyes as a knife was pulled out. He wasn't watching that. The pain continued and eventually he welcomed the way his body was dragging him towards unconsciousness. No more need to endure.
Quinlan woke up and blinked in confusion. He was alive? How did that happen? No way... He shifted and hissed in pain. Well, he was still injured so that wasn't entirely bad then.
He adjusted and took stock of how he felt. He still had injuries, but they felt better rather than fresh. He was in the middle of a forested area of some sort. It was probably night time. He was in pain. There were bandages on his injuries, and he was in a sleeping bag of some sort.
Quinlan yawned and looked around. Oh, there was Obi-Wan. ...Obi-Wan had saved him. Why? Quinlan felt his eyelids growing heavier. He wasn't going to die any time soon, but he was severely injured and needed his sleep.
The next time he woke up, Obi-Wan seemed to be making some soup. Quinlan blinked at him a few times, then groaned when he attempted to sit up.
Obi-Wan turned to him and hurried over. "You're awake! Don't sit up, you've got too many injuries for that."
Quinlan let him fuss with a huff, crossing his arms. He watched Obi-Wan check over all his wounds. He answered questions when Obi-Wan asked them.
"Alright, I think you're as good as we can expect after everything... just... don't move. I'll get you some soup, if you're hungry?"
Quinlan nodded. "Soup sounds good." He resisted the urge to try to get more comfortable. Something was off about how Obi-Wan was acting. But there was just the nagging question.
He accepted the bowl and Obi-Wan's help, finishing half before realizing he wasn't hungry anymore. And at that point, he couldn't hold back his question anymore.
"Why did you save me?"
"Why did you save me?" Obi-Wan countered as he put the bowl aside and rubbed his wrists where there was rope burn. It was already fading thanks to bacta but it felt weird.
Quinlan was not about to reveal that a large part was because he loved his soulmate but there were other reasons, so he stuck with those.
"You're far more important to the war effort than me. And to the Jedi Order. You're on the Council. I'm just a shadow. I expect a decent chance of dying on all my missions. You weren't supposed to put yourself at risk for me." For some reason, Obi-Wan just looked more upset.
"I don't want people dying for me. You're one of the best shadows the Order has. Most of our intel can be traced back to you in some way because either the mission was your idea, you found it yourself, or you had speculations that led to finding it. Losing you right now would be just as much of a blow as me, just not a widely known one."
Quinlan shook his head in denial. "Why save me though?"
"You're my best friend, Quin! I'm not about to lose you if there's any chance I can save you. No matter what you might think about yourself." Obi-Wan shifted, looking a little uncomfortable. "And anyways, I still need a plan to get off, I'm already a little injured, so I was gonna be stranded for a few days anyways."
Quinlan stared at him. "Oh." He bit his lip. He was not going to bring up what he wanted. But Obi-Wan thought highly enough of him to save him. Thought he was worth saving because of his skills and because they were friends. That was nice, but it wasn't enough. And it still hurt knowing that Obi-Wan would react him if he knew.
There was silence. Obi-Wan let out a sigh.
"Quin, I saw your soul mark."
Quinlan flinched, tensing. He glanced around without looking at Obi-Wan, looking for a way out, trying not to panic. Obi-Wan knew. The rejection was coming and Quinlan couldn't handle it.
He was startled out of his panic when Obi-Wan took his hand. He stared at their linked hands, Obi-Wan's second hand on top of them.
"I didn't want people to badger me into something I didn't want. I didn't want them to push boundaries. But there's always been a few people I didn't think I'd mind having as my soulmate. You're one of them."
Quinlan froze, stunned, hardly daring to believe something he had known couldn't be possible for years.
"I just don't like how people act about soulmates. I didn't want to risk a situation where my soulmate didn't like me or I'd have to choose between them and the Jedi because even if I think I'd always choose love, I would be miserable leaving the Jedi. It's what I love. But that was never fair to you. Why didn't you say anything?"
Quinlan swallowed, fighting tears back. "I was waiting for you to turn fifteen but then you declared you didn't want or need a soulmate so I decided to respect that."
"Oh, Quin... I'd wondered why you weren't contributing to that conversation." Obi-Wan pulled his soulmate into a hug. "I'm sorry."
Quinlan closed his eyes, trying not to cry. "You're not rejecting me?" he asked, cursing how small his voice sounded.
"No, I can't reject you... You're my best friend and really, how you handled knowing I didn't want soulmates for more than twenty years proves that we're meant to be. I would never want a soulmate who pushed or disappeared because I didn't want them."
"It does happen though," Quinlan replied quietly.
"They usually have more in common than they realize. Soulmates for personalities, how they react to things. Because ultimately they might come back to each other. That was the sort of drama I wanted to avoid. I wanted to avoid your situation, where you knew your soulmate but they were gone and had come to terms with it. Wish I'd known you were talking about me at the time, though."
Quinlan chuckled. "It was the best I could come up with when Ahsoka put me on the spot like that."
"Of course it was. I think we should make it clear. I saved you because you are my best friend, I don't want to live without you and I do have feelings for you no matter how unwilling I was to acknowledge that."
"Oh." Quinlan considered his words. "I loved you for a long time. You're my best friend, and then I knew we were soulmates and I decided I had to be the best soulmate ever and I fell in love along the way... I couldn't stomach the idea of not doing something for you when I could... saving you from death."
Obi-Wan hugged him a little tighter, careful of his wounds but wanting to reassure Quinlan. "No more self sacrifice," he murmured. "We live or die together, okay?"
"Isn't that a little against Jedi teachings?" Quinlan joked.
Obi-Wan huffed. "I don't want you dying for me. I can't live with the guilt and I know you feel the same. Besides. It's not like we're letting our fear rule us, it's not like we can't let go if we have to."
"True." Quinlan closed his eyes. His soulmate was hugging him, and knew they were soulmates. He had thought he'd never get this. "Where does that leave us though?"
"I don't know. We can try dating if you'd like. Or we could do something else. Possibilities are endless."
"I don't think you want everyone to know we're soulmates. They'll never let it drop."
"I can live with that. My attitude hurt you and could have pushed you away." Obi-Wan smiled at him.
Quinlan smiled slightly. "If you're sure... how do you want the reveal to go?"
"Well, I was thinking..."
Quinlan listened and his grin grew with every word. They were truly meant to be soulmates.
.
When back up arrived to check on them, they found that Quinlan's soulmate mark was exposed for the world to see. Ahsoka did a double take upon seeing her grandmaster's name on Quinlan's thigh. She looked between him and Obi-Wan, mentally replaying any conversations they had about soulmates. And how Quinlan acted during those. He always got strangely silent, aside from the time she asked him...
Obi-Wan ignored them all and just fussed over Quinlan as the medics started checking him out. Until they realized he was also injured and sat him down a few feet away.
"Uh, Obi-Wan?" Anakin asked. "About your soulmate...?"
Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow. "My opinions on soulmates have not changed in years."
.
The rumors spread after that, that Obi-Wan and Quinlan were soulmates. But they didn't give any indication publicly that they were. They acted just the same as always.
But in private, they snickered together and continued exploring the boundaries of their new relationship. Overall, not much did need to change. They had already been close.
And this, this was enough.