Work Text:
HWANG HYUNJIN HAD A problem, and it happened to be the uncontrollable tightness in his crotch whenever he caught a glimpse of the fem boy who lived next door.
It'd been going on for the two weeks since the shorter, blonde haired boy moved in. And as much as Hyunjin’s parents condemned the act and spoke ill of the family next door, he couldn't help feel a deliciously forbidden attraction to the kid. And he didn't even know his name.
It was South Korea. Unique things weren't quite as accepted as in other western parts of the world so Hyunjin couldn't really blame his parents for being so dense. The problem lay in being a closet gay himself and hearing all the hurtful stuff the people he called guardians had to say about any sexuality that wasn't straight. It didn't help that his dad was a pastor and Hyunjin had to agree to his views to quell suspicion.
The brunette felt more at home online than in his own house.
And that was saying something considering the internet was honestly a nuthouse. But at least it was a nuthouse invaded more by the LGBTQ+ community than the heteros and heteros were usually every where.
He consoled himself with the fact that at least the cute, always wearing pink boy, did not have to face the same discrimination he did at home. Because there was no way in hell a Korean parent would allow him go outside looking so precious without worrying about what the neighbours would say. And once, he'd caught the boy’s mother joking with him and kissing his forehead while his father took a picture of them on the driveway. So, at least they were supportive.
That was the first time Hyunjin had seen the boy's pretty pink lips stretch so wide to reveal a brilliant set of pearly teeth. He inwardly swooned, wanting to catch that smile and bottle it up, keep it forever. The boy was genuinely stunning.
That evening as Hyunjin’s parents hosted an evening session at the church — which he never really attended in the guise of studying —, he went up the little hatch leading to the roof and made his way up to his small corner. The streets were dead. Dead but illuminated. Thankfully, his position was blanketed in darkness from being so high up and that gave him the liberty to do what he always did.
Pull a roll of weed out of a packet of cigar where he usually kept it, light it and allow the breeze swirl the smoke into the midnight sky. Hyunjin only smoked Fridays and he never allowed himself more than two blunts so he liked to nurture and savour it. He was usually done and had his teeth brushed by the time his parents came home from their Friday evening sessions, back to acting like the good, studious and oh-so-terribly-straight son they had.
Hyunjin’s parents liked to brag about him to their friends and congregations.
Pity. If only they knew their son was beating his meat to pictures of boys on the internet underneath the covers. But oh well, all’s well that ends well.
‘Could you not do that? It's getting in my eye.’ came a soft voice from the right of him.
Brunette’s eyes widened and he almost choked for numerous reasons. One, he expected to he alone because the roof was his safe space. And for another, the voice was coming from the direction of the cute boy's house and unless he had another brother (which Hyunjin was sure he didn't), it had to be the cute boy himself.
And, okay, holy shit. He was trying not to freak out but the voice was even better than he'd expected. Softer, more whispery and why in the fuck did the boy's voice sound so pretty. It was dark and he and the boy could not see each other. Something he was thankful for because he was certain his cheeks were stained red.
‘Uh, yeah, of course. I'm sorry.’ He managed to stutter a coherent sentence, wasting no time in crushing the blunt, sending it down the pipe on the roof.
‘It's okay, don't worry about it.’ His neighbour said.
And all Hyunjin could think was, are hearts supposed to beat this fast?
He felt on the verge of a stroke, trying to gather his breath. It was probably an overreaction but this was his crush of two weeks (which, okay, maybe it wasn’t that long but it felt longer). A couple of days ago, he was almost certain he'd be stuck admiring the boy from window level. He couldn't wait to rub it in Minho’s face.
‘You're my neighbour, right? The pastor's son? My parents were going to say hello a few days after we arrived but that didn't happen for some reason. Sorry about that.’ Hyunjin could pretty much hear the pout in the boy's voice.
He knew the reason. His parents probably took one look at the boy and forbade his parents from ever interacting with them unless they repented. It probably sounded far fetched but nothing ever was when it came to his parents and christianity.
‘Yeah, you don’t have to worry about that.’ Hyunjin rolled his eyes, mentally cursing his father. ‘My parents are what you call reclusive.’
‘I saw.’ the boy giggled.
Are those the sound of angels? Jesus, have you come to take me? Okay, that was corny but holy shit! Wait ‘til Minho hears I made a cute boy laugh. I swear to god, I’ll make them all eat their shit—
‘—I’m Chan, by the way.’ Cutie Boy™️ said. ‘Bang Chan.’
Okay, Bang Hyunjin doesn’t sound so bad, Hyunjin thought. ‘Hwang Hyunjin.’
Chan hummed. ‘Nice to meet you, Hyunjin. Do you go to Si-Hyuk High? I'm enrolling next week and I could use some friends.’
‘Of course. My friends and I will be happy to show you around. Fair warning, they can be a bit loud and honestly? Weird as fuck.’ Brunette snorted. ‘You’re enrolling in the middle of the term?’
‘Yeah. My parents didn’t want me to wait to start a new term. And trust me, I can take weird. You should meet the people who gave birth to me.’ Blondie joked.
‘Oh, that’s cool! I'll see you next week, I guess. Are you a junior?’
‘Nope! I’m a senior.’
‘Oh, you're my hyung, then. I'm a junior. But my friends Minho and Changbin hyung are seniors so you won't be alone in all your classes!’
"Thanks, Jin. Can I call you Jin?" Chan’s tone was gentle and Hyunjin just wanted to die.
‘Yes!’ He more or less shouted without missing a beat. The air around them stilled and he cleared his throat. ‘Uh, I mean, yeah. Yeah, that’s fine, haha. As long as I can call you Channie—hyung.’
‘Deal!’ Chan laughed.
‘Great. Well, I gotta go, hyung. My parents will be home soon and they don't know about me or my. . .habits. And I plan to keep it that way. Promise to not tell?’
‘Your secret’s safe with me.’ Chan smiled, even though Hyunjin could not see it.
‘You're awesome.’ Brunette gushed as he grabbed his cigarette pack and hoisted himself up, stretching and yawning simultaneously. ‘Well, goodnight, hyung.’
‘Wait,’ Chan called. ‘Can I have your number?’
Hyunjin’s lips stretched into a wide smile as he agreed. He had to wait for Chan to climb down and up again, returning with his phone before he could recite the digits. They parted with the promise to text each other, the stupid smiles not once leaving their faces. He's so cool, Hyunjin thought as he closed the hatch and made his way over to his room. He promptly face planted on the bed with the biggest smile on his face.
‘Goodnight, Chan-hyung.’ he whispered softly, and then squealed into his pillow.
It was going to be a long night.
LEE MINHO ROLLED his eyes at his way too excited best friend as they conversed at lunch. He wanted to face palm so hard but his skin was pale and it would probably leave a mark so he opted for groaning as hard as he could.
‘Hyunjin, he spoke to you. Stop planning a wedding.’ He deadpanned, sticking a piece of meat from his plate into his mouth.
Hyunjin’s lips drew into a pout. ‘But I've already thought up baby names and—‘
‘Who's having a baby?’ Han Jisung’s loud and rambunctious voice rang out as he approached their usual lunch table and plopped down next to his boyfriend who smiled and him and ruffled his hair.
‘Bang Chan and I!’ Hyunjin bursted out before Minho could stop him.
"Really? Congrats!" Jisung clapped with wide, bright eyes.
Minho groaned. ‘No one is having a baby.’
Jisung didn't seem to have heard him as he asked, "Wait, who’s Bang Chan?’
‘My husband.’ Hyunjin offhandedly blurted.
‘You're married?’ Jisung asked with an open mouth.
Minho looked like he was about to snap. ‘No, he is not! He just keeps having fantasies about his next door neighbour.’
‘Oh.’ Jisung deflated. ‘So there's no husband? And no baby?’
Hyunjin’s shoulders slumped as well. ‘I know. I’m sad about it, too.’
Seo Changbin’s cheery voice rang out as he approached their lunch table with Kim Seungmin and his boyfriends Yang Jeongin and Lee Felix in tow. They were laughing about something only the three of them knew. Changbin sat next to both his boyfriends (them and the younger ones had a strange three way thing going on), Minho and Jisung and greeted everyone at the table.
‘Hey, guys! What are we talking about?’ The muscly older boy asked to which Minho groaned.
‘Jinnie’s just telling us about how he and his husband are having a baby.’ Jisung mouthed, taking a sip of his soda while Jeongin choked on his saliva at his words.
‘Except—‘ Minho interjected, ‘there is no husband and there is no baby. It's just a product of his imagination.’
‘Is it that his blonde haired guy next door again?’ Felix asked, a hand wrapped around Jeongin’s shoulder as he tried to stop the younger boy from choking. ‘Jinnie, how many times do I have to tell you, you can't date the guy if you don't speak to him first.’
At that, Hyunjin beamed, legs going up amd down rapidly. ‘That’s the thing, though. We did speak. Yesterday on the rooftop when my parents were gone. He's really funny, has a nice voice and he asked for my number!’
Three pair of eyes widened as Seungmin, Felix and Jeongin made strange congratulatory noises that attracted people in the lunch room's confused gazes.
‘Has he texted you, yet?’ Jeongin asked excitedly, leaning his elbows on their circular dark blue table, placing his chin on his open palms to look at Hyunjin closely.
‘No.’ Namjoon shook his head with a his shoulders assuming their former position. ‘But it’s only been a day so I guess I should be patient or whatever.’
Changbin nodded. ‘I'm sure he'll text you soon, Jin. No one can resist your charms. Did you get his name?’
"Bang Chan. He's older than us. He's a senior like you and Minho-hyung. He’s starting school next week and I promised he wouldn’t be alone. You guys wouldn't mind him sitting here, right?" Hyunjin knew his friends wouldn’t care but he still thought it necessary to ask their permission.
‘And miss the opportunity to watch you squirm and everything with your crush sitting two feet away?’ Minho sniggered lowly, only stopping when Jisung smacked him on the arm.
Hyunjin flushed. ‘I mean, you would get the same entertainment even if he was like seven seats away.’
‘Aw, we don’t mind, Jinnie. I’d love to see this guy who's got you acting all fluffy and soft.’ Felix smiled softly at him, a genuine smile.
‘That's gay.’ Jeongin deadpanned.
‘Yah, has he eaten tissues today?’
’Hyung! I thought that was Hyunjin’s things.’ Jeongin whined to Minho who only shook his head.
Hyunjin laughed once the arguments ensued. He loved his friends so much. They always made sure to be supportive and playful at all the right times.
He buried himself into the background, watching as Jisung fed Changbin a fry with one hand and Minho a chip with another, saying something about equality. They always had to bring their own lunch because the cafeteria food was to die for.
Literally.
Jeongin leaned his head on Felix’s shoulder as he tried to start a fight. (Hm, I don’t know, Minho-hyung. I don’t think Jisung-hyung fed you that chip from his heart. I mean, he was leaning into Changbin-hyung. Y’all should break up). Then he would bury himself behind Felix once the consequences of his actions — in form of smacks — threatened to bite him in the ass. Seungmin just did his chemistry homework and rolled his eyes occasionally.
Hyunjin loved his highschool and he was actually proud that for a bunch of reckless teenagers, they could manage to make their school a safe space.
Many people knew that his father was the town's pastor and his family was perhaps the most homophobic lineage alive. But they also knew that Hyunjin wasn't like his parents and he didn't care for sexuality. He was just a smart kid who happened to be popular and nice to everybody. So it was kind of an unspoken pact between everyone in the school that what happened in Si-Hyuk High stayed in Si-Hyuk High.
He knew that if they were illminded like his parents, word would have gotten out a long time ago that he was friends with some of the most popular gay (more like LGBTQ+ as Changbin was ace, Minho bi, Jeongin pan, Felix gay, Seungmin demisxual and Jisung fluid) couples in school. But they weren't and they made sure to even sometimes go out of their way to help Hyunjin out when his parents were getting suspicious.
Hell, Minho was the straightest man alive whenever he visited Hyunjin — which he still couldn’t believe his parents fell for because had they never met a gay person in their lives?
So he was happy. Home was hell but school home and the internet was heaven. He didn't know how to thank his classmates enough. He did little deeds here and there like helping with their home work, helping them in tests or exams or just buying them lunch or whatever. They loved him and he was glad they did because that meant they were loyal.
Hyunjin had never been one to feel like he was third (more like seventh) wheeling whenever he hung out with his friends. They made him feel wanted and loved just as much as they did each other and they kept the lovey stuff to a minimum even though he wouldn't have minded anyway as he just wanted them happy.
Though somewhere at the back of his mind, he wanted what they had. And these days whenever he thought (more like fantasized) of holding somebody or being held, the fluffy cross dresser who was his neighbour always found a way into his mind.
Our last names sound alike, he thought with a goofy smile. Not much would change when we're married.
kitty2:
do you think butts smoke crack?
kitty1:
felix
kitty2:
yes
kitty2:
it’s 9am
stfu
kitty2:
meow
make me
binniebeanie:
shouldn't you be tainting the children?
sucking jeongin’s dick?
kitty2:
nah, i just did.
now i'm bored
illeatyourfeet:
Felix!
kitty2:
right, sorry
no homo
illeatyourfeet:
thanks for saying no homo bro 😌👨❤️💋👨
it means a lot ❤
kitty2:
uwc bro 💋❤
illeatyourfeet:
bro
kitty2:
bro
binniebeanie:
Jeongin for the last time, you are gay
thats what kissing boys mean
illeatyourfeet:
you don’t know my life!
thehwanghyunjin:
my fucking god
these bitches gay
good for them, good for them
outsungoutrappedoutdicked:
no gen z is straight Jeongin
also stop using old memes hyunjin ew
puppymin:
ate.
outsungoutrappedoutdicked:
thank you seungmo
illeatyourfeet:
see personally i wouldn’t take that, jinnie
thehwanghyunjin:
you don’t know what i can take
puppymin:
ew hyunjin !!!
i’m so tired of all the horniness in the gc
brb i’m bleaching my eyes
outsungoutrappedoutdicked:
with this dick 🍆
puppymin:
i’m going to need an extended diagram on how that would work, jisung
kitty2:
magic
outsungoutrappedoutdicked:
if you’re into magic, i got a wand with your name on it
puppymin:
@kitty2 @binniebeanie
can you put your boyfriend on a leash?
kitty1:
we already tried that
kitty2:
ew hyung
why would we need to know that
i’m too innocent for this shit
illeatyourfeet:
jesus doesn’t like liars lix
kitty2:
is this what betrayal feels like?
getting roasted by your own boyfriend?
illeatyourfeet:
sorry, bro
i'll feed you later
kitty2:
dick, bro ? 😔
👉👈
illeatyourfeet:
of course, bro
no homo
thehwanghyunjin:
we’re all seeing the very homo rn right ?
illeatyourfeet:
shut up cumsock
thehwanghyunjin:
how do you have so much hate in your little body?
illeatyourfeet:
it’s a gift
thehwanghyunjin:
well now you have to pay for property damage
illeatyourfeet:
what got damaged?
thehwanghyunjin:
my heart :(
puppymin:
ha, loser
thehwanghyunjin:
:(((((((
outsungoutrappedoutdicked:
are those double chins?
thehwanghyunjin:
no
what
wha is wrong with you, jisung
binniebeanie:
anyway, to more important matters
i’m having a party this saturday
tell a friend to tell a friend
bring all your bitches
let’s get wasted
kitty1:
changbin what did we say about calling women the b word ?
binniebeanie:
oh, i’m not talking about women
i’m talking about bambam and the rest
kitty1:
oh, okay
carry on
puppymin:
i can’t make it this saturday
kitty2:
why not ?
puppymin:
i can’t even lie
i just don’t want to
illeatyourfeet:
well you better or no blowjobs for a week
outsungoutrappesoutdicked:
innie you silly baby
seungmin isn’t going care about blowjobs
puppymin:
what time is the party
outsungoutrappesoutdicked:
well okay then
puppymin:
you should know by now I’ll do anything for innie, sung
outsungoutrappesoutdicked:
will you do me?
puppymin:
you know, i don’t think i’ve said it today
you should kill yourself
kitty2:
slay
illeatyourfeet:
literally
thehwanghyunjin:
do you guys think Bang Chan’s fart smells like ponies
kitty2:
depends how do ponies smell?
illeatyourfeet:
you’re so random hyung
thehwanghyunjin:
ikr
some days i just feel sony
with a chance
illeatyourfeet:
quick! someone kick him out before he starts singing
thehwanghyunjin:
up to the races
i’m going places
might be a long shot
i’m gonna take it
illeatyourfeet:
even death must be better
binniebeanie:
i need new friends
thehwanghyunjin:
hm *sips tea*
tastes like disrespect
illeatyourfeet:
asterisks ?
common
average
standard
ordinary
hyunjin L
thehwanghyunjin:
painbot
pain
puppymin:
i’m honestly just impressed with his grammar
that’s my baby fr
illeatyourfeet:
🥰🥰🥰
binniebeanie:
that is a grown ass man
puppymin:
my baby’s baby if i say he’s baby
illeatyourfeet:
goo goo gaa gaa, bitch
binniebeanie:
rumour has it that something’s going to shrivel up and die
illeatyourfeet:
probably your dick since you’re ace hyung
puppymin:
well goddamn
binniebeanie:
i would fight you but that would be child abuse
illeatyourfeet:
what are you gonna do? bite my knees ?
outsungoutrappedoutdicked:
well goddamn
binniebeanie
jisung !
you should be on my side helping me teach this loser some respect
illeatyourfeet:
with all due respect, fuck you
short hyung
binniebeanie:
I AM NOT SHORT MY HEIGHT IS JUST BUFFERING
thehwanghyunjin:
well goddamn
binniebeanie has left the chat
puppymin:
um
kitty2:
so saturday
tomorrow
jin you should invite your neighbour
thehwanghyunjin:
hyujin.exe has stopped working
kitty2:
come on, jinnie
don’t be a ball sack
outsungoutrappedoutdicked:
ball sack ?
kitty2:
yes
the sentiment that cowardice must be associated with vaginas is honestly so old. i find it incredibly demeaning when vaginas are the same ones to push literal humans out of them, bleed for weeks on end and fake orgasms to spare the ego of immature men who can’t bother to learn how to please their partner.
and since all men do is pee and plant their useless seeds, cowardice is not associated with ball sacks/ penises. thank you.
illeatyourfeet:
…
puppymin:
i—
kitty1:
that’s my boy.
kitty2:
thank you, hyung.
so, jinnie, Saturday ?
chan ?
thehwanghyunjin:
nope i’m a total ballsack
kitty2:
dude just grow a vagina and invite the guy
thehwanghyunjin:
are you kidding me ?
i just met him
illeatyourfeet:
so? it’s not like you haven’t been stalking him for weeks
thehwanghyunjin:
i just think there was no reason to expose me like that
kitty1:
you can do it, jin
just like to your parents that you’re having a study sleep over at my place
puppymin:
lying to your pastor father?
shame on you and your cow
thehwanghyunjin:
shut up Seungmin
I’ll try
and if i don’t make it, know that I’ve been caught, doused in holy water fifty times, taken to a correctional and undergone electro therapy
yay
illeatyourfeet:
lmaooo it’s funny cause it’s true
thehwanghyunjin:
you know, normally i would say something to you but chan just came outside wearing a skirt
god hates the homosexual but we stay winning
HYUNJIN WANTED TO dig up his own grave and lie in it as his parents constantly exchanged words of degradation at the dining table. The food he pushed around on his plate barely looked enticing while he heard the brutal words leaving their mouths.
‘The other day, Mrs. Mina came to confess about how she caught her son staring at a magazine and getting aroused in his room. A boy magazine! Where the boys wore feminine clothing!’ His father announced, voice laced in disgust like it was some time of abominable blasphemy.
Clothes don't have gender, Hyunjin wanted to say. But more than that, he wanted to inform them that he had the very same magazines stacked under his bed. But he bit the devil on his tongue and continued to shove food around his plate.
‘Oh, my, honey. That's simply disgusting. Did you tell her to bring him in for cleansing or take him to the correction centre?’ Mrs. Kim shook her head at her food, her features morphing into a sneer, lips curling backwards.
Hyunjin felt his stomach churn painfully almost on the verge of throwing up. He often wondered what it would be like to come out to his parents. He knew it would never happen, not in this life, at least. But he wondered what would happen if he had accepting parents and he actually came out to them. Wondered how it felt to be loved for who he really was.
‘Hyunjin, honey, what do you think? Revolting, yes?’
His mother always found a way to insert him into these kind of conversations. Did she not see the hurt in his eyes. The twitch in his fingers. Did she not care at all?
‘Yes, mom. Boys should only be involved in sexual relations with girls and girls alone. All else is abnormal.’ He replied mechanically. He knew the words they wanted to hear by heart and he knew to always say them.
‘That's my boy.’ His father reached over their four seated dining table to clap him on the back. ‘I can't wait for you to finally settle down with a nice, traditional girl. The Kyun's daughter across the street — what was her name again. . .?’ he trailed off, snapping his fingers to indicate that he needed help remembering.
"Soyeon.’ Mrs. Hwang supplied with a grin.
"Ah, yes. Soyeon. She's a very respectful, smart girl. She would make for a good wife, don't you think?" His father asked, looking expectantly at his son who still hadn't looked up from his food.
Soyeon was gay. And only out in school. She had a girlfriend named Soojin. Her twitter username was @strictlyvagina. He wasn't sure she'd make a good wife.
‘Of course, father. She seems nice.’ Hyunjin answered, still looking down at his food.
His father didn't seem to be satisfied with his answer but thankfully decided to not push it more.
‘Honey, have you seen the international news lately? There was a rally in America recently— people who were questioning the hand of God.’ Mrs. Hwang tsked and distracted her husband so his attention could return to her. ‘They call themselves transgender and are ungrateful with the gender God gave them. They’re undergoing surgery to alter their—‘ her voices took on a hushed tone. ‘Parts. Boys to girls, girls to boys. It’s even more painful because so many people are supporting this behavior.’
Mr. Hwang shook his head and made a sound by pressing his tongue to the gap between his two upper teeth. ‘They are sinners who have not met Jesus. If they accept redemption and salvation, they will come to see that . . .’
Hyunjin zoned out of what his parents were saying, choosing to ignore their ignorance so it hurt less. You would think that after living with them for over seventeen years he'd have gotten used to it but it just seemed to worsen over the years. The blatant jabs. Glaring homophobia and transphobia. He wondered his people felt when they came out to their parents, unsure whether or not they would accept him. Because he sure as hell felt like shit knowing there wasn't a sliver of hope left for him if he ever came out or they ever found out.
He'd probably be sent to a correction centre.
He'd had a friend, Yeonjun, who was sent to a correction centre when he came out as bi to his parents. He came back refusing to accept any sexuality that wasn't straight. He had scars everywhere. He wasn't happy, they could all see it. But just being near a male that wasn't his father sent him over the railing.
Hyunjin had nightmares about the hollowness in Yeonjun’s eyes before he and his family finally went away. Maybe that was why it was an unspoken rule in his school for everyone not straight to act straight. Yeonjun was the scape goat, they'd all learned from his consequences.
Later that night as his parents lay in their room to sleep (and possibly have sweet dreams where all things not straight were crucified), Hyunjin got his first text from Bang Chan after two days.
Unknown Number:
hyunjin?
The brunette didn't need to be hit with a book on the head to know who it was. He tried to hide the giddy smile on his face and he started up a reply.
hyj:
i was beginning to think you'd never text me.
Channie Hyung:
ah, sorry about that
it was my parent’s anniversary and i got caught up
hyj:
don't sweat it
how've you been?
Channie Hyung:
not bad not good
you?
i went on my rooftop today
i was hoping to see you
hyj:
sorry about that. my parents are home today
i usually only go on there on Fridays
bc that's when they have evening sermons
did you miss me, hyung?
Oh dear immortal gods of the cosmos, why would you let me type that? Why is there not a delete for everyone option of Kakao Talk? Please kindly collect my soul now, thank you. I think I have served up my time on earth.
Channie Hyung:
oh, yeah
they don’t know about you smoking
you don't go with them to church ?
and yeah, a little bit ^-^
you’re my first friend here
Hyunjin’s heart did a spit take because holy shit did Bang Chan just say he missed him? His hands were shaking and he felt like he was gonna cry. (Just a few manly tears here and there. You know, the usual).
Keep it together, loser!
hyj:
yeah, they'd genuinely kill me if they found out
just between me and you
i'm not exactly a church goer
i'm an atheist
about the friend thing, dw
my friend group is big enough for the both of us
Channie Hyung:
oh, really?
i am too
atheist, I mean
my parents and i are
my grandma is christian
but dw, she's not the overbearing type
she's really supportive
also thank you !
i'm really excited to meeting ur friends
do you think they’ll like me ?
hyj:
i guarantee they will
which reminds me
i know you start school in like five days
but my hyung changbin is throwing this party tomorrow evening
i was wondering if you'd wanna go?
we might have to sleep over bc his parties last until like morning
but i won't ever leave your side
if that’s okay with you ?
Channie Hyung:
i’m not really the party type
too many people
but it might be a good opportunity for me to make friends
and if you swear not to leave me ?
I will literally cry if you do I’m not eve kidding
hyj:
promise
Channie Hyung
text me the address, then
hyj:
great, hyung !!
i'll send you that and the time
see u there?
Channie Hyung:
see you there, jinnie
we should get some sleep
gn <333
hyj:
night, channie hyung
Hyunjin smiled to himself, unable to control his heart eyes as he scrolled through their texts on his phone. Bang Chan was so cute. He didn't know if it was just a flimsy crush or if he wanted something more with the older boy. But he knew one thing for sure.
The warm feeling in his gut wasn't all that bad, after all.
‘HOW DO YOU TELL someone you love them in no homo?’ BamBam, one of Hyunjin’s friends asked as he sipped on his fruity punch through a straw.
The brunette thought for a moment, brows furrowing as he looked for a way to put it. He opened his mouth. ‘Dearest acquaintance, I have come to the realisation that I possess feelings of fond for you, however, strongly with no emphasis of homosexual content.’
BamBam smiled and twirled the straw with his tongue expertly. ‘That's. . .descriptive.’ he said, finally looking up at Hyunjin. ‘Thanks, man.’
He nodded and they sat in an otherwise silent ambience if it weren't for the music blasting from the speakers inside of the house. It wasn't that loud, more like muffled sound from where they sat in the patio, close to the pool outside.
Hyunjin and a bunch of his friends had come a bit early to Changbin’s party. He took Minho’s advice and used the older man as bait for his parents to let him sleep outside. It never would have happened other wise.
So he and a bunch of his friends came at least an hour early to set up everything (because Changbin had small hands and needed all the help he could get but you didn't hear that from him) but Hyunjin and BamBam only offloaded the solo cups, dipped it in the punch bowl — a mixture of vodka in there — and snuck out to the patio claiming they'd done enough.
BamBam came for the drinks and Hyunjin came so he could hover around the door and his face could be the first one the older man saw when he came inside. He wasn't kidding when he said he wouldn't leave his side. Parties could be scary.
‘Bitches, bros and non-binary hoes!’ He heard the voice of Jeongin announcing his presence as he threw the front door open, he didn’t even need to look to know Seungmin and Felix would be in tow.
‘Yang Jeongin what did I say about derogatory language!’ He heard Minho screech from somewhere in the house.
He didn't even know why the younger boy was at the party. He was like sixteen and wasn't up to the age to drink. Well, not a lot of them were but they'd do it anyway. (#highschoollife!)
Changbin’s neighbourhood was on the more wealthy side of town. His parents were top CEOs and it came with the perks of them never being around, compensating with money and gifts and letting him throw parties so he would not be alone. He and Seungmin were neighbours. Seungmin’s parents being world renowned, on high demand artists. They, too, like Changbin’s parents were hardly around so they basically let their only child do whatever he pleased, at least proud that he had taken over their artistic abilities.
The rest of them were the middle class kids. Although it was hard to forget with the rich kids spoiling them all day everyday.
A few hours in and the party was in full swing. The music was the type of loud where you were not at risk of a head ache and it didn't disturb the neighbours but you still had to yell over it. Hyunjin stood at the door, anticipating Bang Chan’s arrival.
It'd been two hours since the time he'd sent for Chan to arrive and he was beginning to think the smaller but older boy wouldn't show, just to save himself the disappointment later. Still, he hovered around the door, greeting everyone that came and nurturing a red solo cup that was half full of clear liquid. It was water but just to steer clear from his clearly intoxicated friends offering him a drink, he held on to it and probably would throughout the duration of the party.
Just as Hyunjin was about to head outside and sit alone in the yard, his eyes landed on someone coming through the door. The person looked severely out of place mostly because it was a highschool party and he was wearing a fluffy baby pink sweater that stopped mid thigh and black transparent tights. The boy was continuously tugging on the sweater paw he made, as if feeling uncomfortable.
Hyunjin immediately knew it was Chan.
‘I was beginning to think you wouldn't come.’ was the first thing Namjoon said to his hyung, yelling over the music that wasn't all too loud because they were standing at the door.
Chan’s head snapped towards the sound and he flashed a brilliant smile at Hyunjin, one that had the younger boy doing a double take because it was so pretty.
‘And why would you think that? Do you think I’m unreliable?’ Chan’s soft voice came shouting over the music, the neon strobe lights reflecting off of his baby smooth face.
‘No, no!’ He stuttered. ‘It’s just been a couple hours and you said it your self. You're not one for the party scene.’ Hyunjin shrugged weakly. ‘I wouldn’t have held it against you.’ He swiped his tongue over his cherry tasting lips as he tried to subtly scan Chan from head to toe.
He looked so pretty and so small and so — wait, this is pg 13.
‘That’s good to know, for next time. But I'm here now. I wanted to meet you where I could actually see you.’ Blondie said, hinting at their rooftop encounter.
But all that ran through the brunette’s mind was next time? NEXT TIME!?
He smiled broadly. ‘Well, I'm glad you came. Would you like a drink?’
Bang Chan shook his head. ‘I don't drink.’
Hyunjin nodded in understanding. ‘Me neither. You see this?" He raised his red solo cup. ‘Water.’
‘Why're you here then, if you don't mind me asking?’ Chan said, head tilting to the side at the question.
Hyunjin bit back the urge to call his action cute. ‘Mostly for the experience and to take care of my friends when they're throwing up in the morning.’
‘Ah, you’re the designated barf butler.’ Chan nodded to himself.
The brunette paused. ‘Sorry?’
’Barf butler.’ The older man said like it was normal. ‘You clean up your friends’ vomit.’
A find smile played on his features. ‘Right. Uh, speaking of friends, I was hoping to introduce you to them tonight but since they're all wasted, I guess that can wait.’ Hyunjin decided. "Wanna go outside? It's hot in here and it smells like sweat and bad decisions.’
Chan giggled. Like actually freaking giggled and Hyunjin could've sworn that was the best sound he'd ever heard. And he'd heard a lot of nice sounds like that one vinyl he'd bought some time in the summer that was like sex to his ears. (Even though that's a particularly morbid comparison).
‘Sure. There are not a lot of people there, anyway.’
He led Chan outside and discarded his solo cup on the way. They walked a few inches apart because it was a party and if you take your eyes off for thirty seconds, anything could happen. As they made their way outside, they bumped into Yugyeom, another one of Hyunjin’s friends who just happened to be wasted off his mind.
‘Hwang, my bro!’ Yugyeom hollered with a drunken, lopsided grin. He had a small red haired boy dangling off his arm and he was blinking repeatedly as if trying to process something.
‘Dude, three hours in and you're already drunk?" He tsked disappointedly while he and Chan stopped to acknowledge Yugyeom.
‘Lightweight, man! Plus there was free weed in the kitchen and I think someone laced the gummies.’ Yugyeom's voice came out a slur but Hyunjin managed to pick up on what he was saying.
‘How many times do I have to tell you, don't take anything me or the guys don't give you. What if you got drugged?" He scolded the older boy, flicking him on the head and ignoring his squeal of pain.
‘Well, I was hoping for that.’ Yugyeom muttered before promptly yelling, ‘Don't do school, kids! Stay in drugs!’
From beside him, Hyunjin heard Chan stifle a laugh and he couldn't help the smile that spread across his face as well.
He rolled his eyes at Yugyeom. ‘Whatever. Just make sure you go upstairs and straight to bed, okay?’
‘Okay, big daddy!" Yugyeom teased, leaning over to swipe his tongue on Hyunjin’s cheek before running off, his red head add following him.
‘Yugyeom! When I get my hands on you, I swear to god.’ He shouted after the boy's running figure, scrunching his nose in disgust and using the sleeve of his shirt to wipe off the spit from his cheeks. ‘I hate my friends.’ he muttered.
Chan laughed. ‘He seems nice.’
‘No.’ Hyunjin shook his head. ‘They're all spawns of Satan. Anyway, sorry for keeping you waiting. Shall we?’
Once again, they made their way further outside but Hyunjin pulled Bang Chan into the garden out back. It was hidden as most of the house and streets lights didn't illuminate that side of Changbin’s house and not a lot of people even knew it existed so they were safe, alone and left to their own devices.
alonealonealone
They both sat on the dry grass, knees pulled to their chest and only a few inches between them. The brunette could practically feel the warmth radiating off Chan.
‘This is nice.’ Blondie hummed as they were enveloped in silence, (being far away enough from the house to not hear the pulsing music) hearing the crickets chirp and watching the stars.
(Is it really? Is he just saying that?)
‘Nighttime's my favourite.’ Hyunjin said instead.
Chan looked over to him. ‘Why?’
It was quiet for a minute or so after before Hyunjin sighed and began talking. ‘I’m not trying to be like cheesy, or anything but it’s just — don’t you just feel freer at night? You’re alone, it’s dark, no one has any expectations of you. You can just be whoever, all your flaws don’t seem so big and bad anymore. It’s just like the bliss of nothingness before your born and the same bliss when you die.’
He gave a nervous laugh at the silence that greeted him once he was done. ‘Sorry, I—‘
’Do you paint?’ Bang Chan stared at him with some kind of emotion in his eyes and the moment felt fragile.
‘What gave it away?’ He whispered, staring back.
The older man shrugged. ‘You’re a good painter.’
Hyunjin’s heart stuttered. ‘How would you…’
’I just know.’ Blondie nodded to himself.
He looked so sure, unaware of how much such kind words meant to the younger man. His parents had never thought he was good at painting and even though his friends said otherwise, he could only take so much tearing down. So he hid every canvas he brought to life and he wondered if that was another thing he and his works had in common: hiding.
’You’re really beautiful, Hyung.’ He muttered, eyes still fixed on the older man’s.
A breathy laugh escaped Bang Chan. ‘Coming from you.’
Brunette smiled shyly and relaxed, his back pressing to the dewy head, hands tucked beneath his head as he stared at the night sky. They said nothing as they watched the stars unfold in front of them.
I really like nighttime. He thought to himself. But I would watch the clouds with you any day.