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The cottage slumped malevolently on the edge of the clearing, the trees twisting around it. Three darkened windows marked the front of it in a triangle, two downstairs and one on the upper floor, nestled between the eaves of the house. The front door was grey, paint peeling from it, the wooden beams holding up the fascia sagging. Its roof was tiled in red with two long wooden spikes, longer than a sword sticking up into the night sky at either end. The shadows crossing the house seemed to stretch and twist unsettlingly.
I lay on my stomach, as flat to the ground as I could go, peeking through the long grasses down at the house. It was like a fairytale cottage out of a story with edible walls and a witch that lived inside waiting to cook you in a pie. I shuddered at the oily caress of wrongness emanating from the cottage, slithering against my skin.
I glanced to my right, to Cardan lying on his stomach beside me, his lips pressed into a thin line.
“Why can’t we fight the evil witch during the day,” I grumbled in a low voice. The metal plating in my leather armour digging into me.
Cardan’s gaze didn’t shift from the darkened cottage. “For a multitude of reasons,” he whispered back. “One, the house isn’t there during the day, two, we have the element of surprise and three, you’re not doing any fighting, you’re staying right here with me. Safe.” He looked away from the house and at me, eyes glittering in the dim light.
I glared back. “Yes, right here, out of the way.”
He tutted at my tone and looked back across the clearing. I copied him. We were lying on the top of a small bluff at the opposite end of the clearing to the house. In the shadows of the trees I could make out the occasional glints from our knights’ armour as they surrounded the cottage.
I ran over the information we’d gleaned again. The cottage appeared in the clearing at the last new moon and since then fae and mortals had begun disappearing. Roughly one every three days. I glanced up at the full moon, high in the sky. Two weeks and six people missing.
A group of kids, made bold by everapple, had crept up to the house the night before this, threw stones at the house, hurling abuse at the witch they’d heard lived inside. They smashed one of the windows. There was a scream of fury and a whooshing, then the kids found themselves on the other side of the clearing, below where we were currently hiding, with lost time and one of their party missing.
Cardan was furious when he’d heard. Living in Faerie was perilous at the best of times, but stealing away a child…
…which led us back to peeking out of the grass at three knights walking cautiously up to the front door. They spread out, two of them standing out of the sight line of the door whilst the third rapped firmly on it. “Open up in the name of the High King of Elfhame.” I smothered down a very unbecoming squark of outrage.
Cardan caught it though and gave me a wink. “They would still be knocking on that door into the middle of next week if we listed all your titles, my Queen.”
There was no answer. The knight banged on the door again, trying the handle. He leapt back as if he’d been burnt, pulling his sword from the scabbard at his hip.
Crackling orbs of orange light coalesced around the cottage. The ground slightly trembled under us. I glanced over at Cardan but his focus was ahead of him. His eyebrows meeting in a frown.
“What is it?” I whispered.
He shook his head and didn’t reply.
Below us, the three knights had moved into formation, backing away slightly from the cottage. More knights appeared on the edge of the treeline, their swords drawn.
The cottage attacked them first, balls of fire shooting at the knights. They scattered, dodging the fireballs which hit the ground leaving smouldering grass behind.
They charged at it, trying to break in the door, but it wouldn’t budge. Then the cottage started to move. “What the actual fuck,” I breathed. It raised itself onto little brick pillar feet and tried to stomp on the knights. They dodged and rolled out of the way. More fireballs were launched at them.
“It’s a Hell House,” Cardan whispered. “I’ve read about them, but they’ve not been seen in either of our worlds for centuries.”
I remembered Baphen’s words: things have been seen in the forests, ancient things, long thought gone from this world. I shiver.
The orange globes faded, replaced by blue cracking orbs of lightning. Lightning danced over the walls of the house.
I felt a shiver in the air around me and my sight blurred for a moment, like I was looking through a heat haze. I looked at Cardan and saw the air shimmering around his hands. A look of absolute concentration on his face. Snow began to fall in the clearing. But the sky was still clear.
The orbs of lightning shuddered, their power diminished.
The house spun, looking for the source of the magic. The knights used its distraction to attack it again, but their swords didn’t have much of an effect.
There was a roar of anger and an explosion of glass as arms, actual arms, with wooden hands on the end thrust through the windows on the sides of the house and grabbed at the knights. Two managed to dodge the swinging arms, but the third was less lucky. The house threw him across the clearing into the trunk of a tree. He slid down and lay there. Still.
I realised I was on my feet, pulling Nightfell from my scabbard. Then I was running down the bluff, Cardan's voice shouting some very inventive curses behind me.
The house swung around to face me as I charged toward it. I swung my sword and it cut easily through the fingers of one of the wooden hands. It let out a bellow of rage and tried to stomp on me. I spun out of the way, but into the range of its other hand.
It grabbed me and tossed me into the air, I screamed as I flew upwards, spinning. Gravity pulled at me and I started to fall back down, racing towards the wicked spikes on the roof of the house. I was going to be impaled.
Something snapped around my waist, stopping my fall and nearly splitting me in two. I was lucky Nightfell was still in my hand in a death grip. I looked down, a green-black vine was wrapped around me. My head snapped around to look across the clearing.
Cardan was on his feet, the air around him shimmering with heat haze. He looked terrifying. And furious. His tail whipping behind him from side to side.
We looked at each other across the clearing. His expression didn’t change, but the vine lowered me gently to the ground, uncurled itself from around my waist. The end of it gently stroked my face once before it whipped away and wrapped itself around one of the feet of the house.
The house tore at it with its remaining arm, bellowing its rage.
Then it froze. Sank down onto its foundations. The vine creaked as it tightened.
The front door swung open.
There was a gust of air, then I was sucked inside. The door slammed behind me.
🏡🏡🏡
I looked around, trying not to gag as the smell of blood and rancid meat filled my nose. I was in some sort of hallway. I looked closer, realising that the glistening walls were fleshy, and they were pulsing. I could feel the bile rise in my throat and I pushed it back down.
I swung Nightfell into a guard position and slowly picked my way down the hall, sinking slightly into the floor with each step. I didn’t look down. I didn’t want to know.
A woman appeared at the end of the hall. Her long dark hair swirled around her head as if she was underwater and she was completely naked. But not weaponless as each of her fingers ended in a long, wicked claw.
“Where is the child?” I demanded.
The woman laughed, “you’re too late, mortal knight. I sucked him dry and turned him into dust. I’ll enjoy doing the same to you.”
There was a muffled boom outside and the Hell House lurched. I struggled to stay standing on the slippery, squelchy floor.
The woman’s gaze went distant for the moment and then snapped back to me.
“It appears your friend wants to get you back,” she laughed. “So much power coming off him, I can taste it from here. I will enjoy feeding off him.”
“You will not,” I retorted, advancing towards her, sword ready, mentally listing the locations of all my knives.
The woman smiled. Showing row after row of translucent sharks teeth. “Is that so? I can feel power coming off you too. Makes me tingle,” she let out a long hiss. “You’ll be a fitting appetiser.” She flicked a claw in my direction.
I felt magic wrapping around me, trying to pin my arms to my side. Like a glamour, I realised. And it wasn’t working on me.
Thinking quickly, I dropped my arms to my sides, not letting go of Nightfell, let my face go slack and my eyes go glassy.
The woman grinned wider. “I am going to enjoy feeding off you.”
Another boom and the house lurched again. I kept my footing, Nightfell banging into my leg. I was suddenly glad of my leather trousers with its little metal plates stitched inside. If I wasn’t wearing them, my sword would have just gone right through my leg.
There were three more booms in quick succession and the house shuddered, walls trembling. What was Cardan doing?
The smile dropped from the woman’s face and dark tendrils of shadow coalesced around her. She stalked towards me, claws outstretched. I remained still, as if frozen with glamour.
The house shook again.
The woman walked around me, running a claw across my leather armour, leaving a deep gouge behind. I fumed, but remained still, I only needed a few more moments. As she returned to face me there was another boom and the definite sound of tearing wood. The woman screamed and I swung my sword.
Even one-handed there was power behind my swing. Nightfell sliced into her just above her waist and kept going, up and up. My other hand clasped the hilt. “You will stay away from my husband,” I ground out as I forced the sword through her body.
The woman screamed again, so high and loud it hurt my ears. Then there was a force, something pushing against me, hard, and I was thrown backwards. The back of my head cracked on something (the door frame maybe?) and it all went dark.
🏡🏡🏡
The dust started to settle and the vision started to clear. My ears were ringing and I couldn’t hear a thing. I slowly looked around, taking in the devastation around me. The Hell House was not much more than kindling. Massive splinters of wood were still vibrating in a couple of tree trunks. The rubble of the cottage reached my knees. And I stood right in the middle of it, Nightfell still in my hand.
I could see a couple of knights nearby, sat on the ground looking as dazed as I felt.
Something didn’t look right though. I frowned, looking around again. Thick green-black vines had exploded all through the ground around the Hell House, strangling planks of wood, curled around trees, waving in the air. Some had snaked along the ground, covering the ruins I was standing in the middle of. I couldn’t understand what I was seeing. The ringing in my ears was too distracting.
Something barrelled into me and I nearly went flying. Arms wrapping tightly around me, pulling me against a trembling body.
“You stupid unthinking foolish reckless mortal,” a hiss in my ear. “I thought you were dead. I thought I’d lost you.” Kisses on my hair, arms not letting me go. I sagged against Cardan, suddenly realising how scared he was. I wrapped my arms around his waist.
“I’m sorry, but I couldn’t let them get hurt.”
“That’s part of their job-“ the rest of the sentence cut off as I swayed. One arm shifted, hand running across my torso, my arms, looking for wounds, tracing the deep gouge across the front of my armour.
“I’m ok, fussy hen,” I muttered into his chest. “I think it’s just a concussion.”
“Just, just?” I could feel his outrage pouring off him in waves. I leant against him, closing my eyes, it just made me feel more dizzy. I opened them again, staring at the fabric of his shirt as the adrenaline drained from me, my body realising I’m no longer in danger. I started to shake, it began at my feet and worked its way up my body until even my teeth were chattering.
The shaking loosened something in my chest and I started to laugh. Well, it was more of a breathy giggle, but I couldn’t stop it. Cardan pulled back, his hands on my shoulders, a worried look on his face.
I couldn’t stop laughing. The relief of still being alive. “I fought a house, Cardan. A fucking house!” I tried to smother my giggles but they were having none of it. “Is this what our reign is going to be like? Political intrigue and murderous buildings?” Tears were rolling down my face, my sides hurting from laughing.
Cardan grinned, he was still angry, I could see that in his eyes, but it was warring with the relief that I was okay. “You’d get bored if it wasn’t,” he replied, picking splinters of Hell House out of my hair.
I jumped as one of the vines started to wrap around my leg. Cardan nudged it away with his foot.
“You should have seen it, ma’am,” one of the knights said to me. “When the House ate you, the vines tried to rip the house apart,” he gestured to the devastation. “Did a pretty good job of it too.”
I looked up at Cardan, eyebrow raised. “Really?”
“You know me,” he said with a cocky wink, “I love to do a bit of redecoration.”
A flash of memory, a bedroom on fire. I hummed, then let go of Cardan and started to pick my way out of the rubble. I just wanted to go back to the Palace, back to our rooms and have the longest bath. He watched me for a moment and then started to follow me.
“So,” I drew out the word. “Vines?”
“Not as impressive as raising an island from the sea, I know, but what else could I do? You were falling and I didn’t know how else to save you. Then you got yourself eaten by a house and my swordsmanship wouldn’t have made a difference. However, I think I may have a practical use for them in tying you down so that you don’t go running off into danger,” he slid an arm around my waist.
I raised an eyebrow and keeping my voice low said, “and what, pray tell, will you be tying me to?”
A bark of laughter. “That’s for me to know and you to find out.”