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He’ll never forget the look on your face after he punched a large hole into the wall. A rare fight in the year and a half of domestic bliss of your relationship, the terrified look in your eyes before you fled without another word into the rain. He didn’t miss the way your body shook, much like a leaf in the wind and he knew he’d never forgive himself for tonight.
You were worried. Joker had escaped again, and, admittedly, he had been reckless in his attempts to find the clown bastard. But at 3 AM, he wasn’t ready to come to terms with the fact that you were right, even as he was bleeding out on the floor from a bullet wound in his side that you’d found him taking care of himself.
How many times had he held you in the night, nightmares from the last piece of trash that had laid their hands on you, when they should have done nothing more than cradling your soft perfection in their arms? How many times had he kissed the scars that they left on your body? How many times during those moments, had he promised himself that he would never give you a reason to be terrified of him?
Yet, his stubbornness reared its ugly head, green clouding the edge of his vision as he yelled and punched through the drywall of your shared bedroom. Your eyes grew wide, tears springing to life in shining streams down your cheeks as you dashed out the door, fight or flight kicking in. The hole in the wall was puny in comparison to the gaping one in his chest as realization sank in.
In the few moments it had taken for him to process what had happened, you were long gone. He forgot how fast you could be when you wanted – no, needed – to be. He knew he needed to find you, at least to make sure that you were safe.
When Oracle saw that he was moving on the streets again, she called his comms. As he explained, his throat felt like he was choking on gravel, his eyes burning behind his helmet as he explained, his heart bleeding at the thought of losing you forever.
He knew that if he could find you… If he could somehow earn your forgiveness, though in his mind he doesn’t deserve it… He knew he’d spend the rest of his life worshiping at the altar that was your existence. He’d never make you question your safety with him again. He’d be damn near determined to hold you in his rippling muscles and never let you go again if you’d allow it.
Barbara doesn’t waste any time giving him grief, verbally berating him for his thoughtlessness. After all, she knows that he’s already ready to plead for death to take him once more if you get hurt. You are his angel, the love of his life. Instead, she calls on Cass and Dick, not only Jason’s siblings, but your friends, giving the brief run-down and the two of them take to the streets to find you.
Within the hour, Cass has found you, huddled in an alley, face soaked with tears and rain, and fear clear on your features. She doesn’t say a word, just wrapping her arms around you in peaceful silence. You allow her to take you back to her apartment after letting everyone know that you’re safe. She knows that she can’t just give you back to Jason, especially in your current, soaked-to-the-bone, tired state. Once you’re cleaned up, she decides that he can grovel another day, especially once she finds you asleep on her couch.