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Erik is determined as he sets his face into a blank mask, with no emotions, no expressions. He hears Charles behind him, yelling, “No! NO! ERIK!” He swears he hears ‘Erik, no!’ More than any other sentence, but he doesn’t care.
He has a mission now, and there’s nothing Charles can do to stop him. His helmet is on and Charles is out of his chair, they’ve escalated to that part of the battle. Strange how they seem to come in sections and stranger how Charles is never in his chair for the last half. Either way, Erik is glad for it, right now, as he walks away, leaving Charles yelling for him.
It breaks his heart. It does every time, but he doesn’t let that stop him now. He never does.
Immediately, he walks into the heat of the battle. The X-Men need more help and he’ll die before he lets Charles be the one to insert himself into the action. No matter what, he will protect Charles. That’s been his goal since he first looked at the man, since he first wrapped his arms around Erik and pulled him up out of the ocean. Since Charles let Erik know he wasn’t alone and would never be alone again.
As soon as he’s in the battle, he almost regrets his choice as the pain hits. Almost. He still has it in his mind that he’s protecting Charles and that’s more than enough to support his decisions and drive him to continue.
He opens his eyes slowly, blinking as he looks around the room. The first thing he notices is how much metal is in the room. It feels like even the walls themselves are metal along with all the different kinds, smaller pieces, laying around in the room. It comforts him to have this ability, he swears he would miss it more than he would sight.
Then he realizes there’s a hand wrapped around his hand and he tightens his own with it in his grasp. Slowly, wincing, he turns his head, looking.
Next to where he’s lying, Charles sits, his head leaning to the side against the headrest of his chair, eyes closed. He looks peaceful, Erik notices, even if he doesn’t look particularly comfortable. Moments like these had always been his favorites and this moment isn’t any different. There’s a relaxed look on his face that has never been there when he’s awake. He looks impossibly young, and soft, though Erik wouldn’t be fooled by that. He knows how strong and powerful Charles is, even if he does want to hold him and protect him from the truths of the world.
He watches as Charles’s face scrunches up, then his eyes slowly open, blinking once, twice, before his eyes land on Erik. A smile stretches across his face and Erik’s heart feels too full suddenly,
“You’re awake, darling,” Charles whispers, leaning in to press a kiss to Erik’s forehead and he smiles softly.
“Yeah,” He mumbles, “What did I miss?”
“The end of the battle, the trip back home, the following three days,” Charles lists off and Erik watches the swirl of complex emotions dancing across his face. He can tell Charles isn’t happy with him, glad he’s awake, the ends of worry and concern that have obviously been plaguing him since Erik was first knocked unconscious. He wants to wipe all of those away and hates himself for causing the other man all of that worry and pain.
“Are you okay? Everyone else?” He asks softly instead, wanting to make sure before they get too far into their discussion. If he doesn’t and finds out later that something bad happens he’s not sure he could forgive himself. He doesn’t want to make things harder on Charles if he’s already experiencing grief.
Charles nods, “I’m fine, baby, just worried about you. And everyone else is alright too. Even those that were hurt are recovering well. How do you feel?”
For a moment, Erik thinks about it before wincing, “Sore, I think everything hurts, stiff, tired. Any chances of getting some water?”
Charles nods and rolls away to the other side of the room that Erik is now recognizing as the lab, specifically the section that has been turned into an infirmary. After a moment, he comes back with a bottle of water and Erik pushes himself up into a sitting position with a wince. Charles holds the bottle for him as he takes a few cautious sips. His arms shake under the strain and he lays back down.
The bottle finds a place next to the bed he’s laying on and, if he wasn’t still in so much pain he would protest being in a hospital-like setting.
“We need to talk about this,” Charles whispers and Erik looks over at him, the way his eyes are downcast, the look on his face like he’s having some struggle within himself. It makes for a tight feeling in Erik’s chest. One he doesn’t particularly care for.
“Okay,” He whispers, though this is the last thing he wants to do. It always is, talking about his decisions. And, besides that, he’s learned well over the last couple of years that hearing Charles says ‘we need to talk’ is never a good thing. The most he can do now though, is go along with it.
“Why did you do it?” Charles asks, raising his eyes a little, but they still don’t reach Erik’s face, something he notices immediately.
“Someone needed to,” Erik replies, “Better me than you.”
“I can take care of myself, Erik,” Charles insists, and Erik wants to wrap his arms around him once again.
“I never said you couldn’t,” Erik replies, his voice tight with emotions. No matter what, he wants to ensure that Charles knows he’s not doubting his strength, his powers, and his abilities. Erik is sure he knows better than anyone just what Charles is capable of. It’s nothing to do with that.
“I know that you can. It’s not that. I just don’t want you hurt-“
“And who is to say I’m going to get hurt?” Charles asks back, looking at Erik, there’s a set look on his face, one of certainty and stubbornness that makes Erik love him even more.
“Charles, it’s a risk I don’t want to take. One I don’t want you to take,” Erik replies with a sigh, wondering how he can get Charles to understand. “I’m fine, I’ll be fine, no matter what happens.”
Charles lets out a laugh that doesn’t sound happy at all, one of annoyance and anger, Erik thinks but he can’t be certain. “You could die, Erik. You’re not invincible. Your powers are not immortality, or even rapid healing. Bloody hell, Erik, you’ve been unconscious for three days. You have stitches and broken bones and you were bleeding so much and I…I…” Charles sighs, breathing unsteadily.
Slowly, Erik reaches out his hand, gently carding it through Charles’s hair, thumb moving over that streak of grey in the front with the utmost care. It trails down from there until he wraps it around Charles’s hand.
“I’m not afraid of death, Charles,” Erik whispers, “I have never been. When it comes to me, I’m ready. I’ve lost enough that I know I’ll have family waiting for me when this is over. I’ve been ready to die since I was a child and it hasn’t changed. That doesn’t mean I don’t still have something here that I don’t want to lose, but I’m not running from death.”
Charles looks up at Erik and there are tears in his eyes, his face red and those bright blue eyes are as well, changing their color ever-so-slightly, only making them stand out more. There’s only one thing Erik can do.
He scoots over in the bed. It takes longer than he would normally and a few more sounds of pain and effort leave him than he would like, but finally, there’s room beside him. He pats the bed between him and Charles.
“Are you sure?” Charles asks softly and Erik nods once. That’s all the encouragement Charles needs before he transfers over, slowly manipulating his body into the open space.
Immediately, Erik wraps an arm around him and Charles presses against him, seeming to know where every painful area is. That’s something they still need to talk about, but he knows this conversation isn’t over yet, and it’s one they need to have before they can move on.
Charles cries against Erik’s shoulder and Erik holds him as best he can. He presses kisses to his hair, rubs his back, and waits it out with him
A tiny voice, breaking with the tears says, “I don’t want to lose you,” And Erik’s arm tightens.
“I’m not going anywhere right now, Liebling,” He whispers back, “I’m right here and I’m not leaving.”
“You’re just so reckless,” Charles continues and Erik sighs softly, pressing another kiss to his hair.
“You knew that when you pulled me from the ocean. It’s not going to change at all, I’m sorry,” He replies, his own voice a little strained now.
For a while, the two of them just lay together, Charles’s body still shaking against Erik’s as he sobs softly, but slowly calming down for now. Erik doesn’t really know how to comfort him through this. It’s not something he can take back or change, nothing but a simple fact. One that he thought Charles already knew about.
Eventually, he breaks the silence to say, “You’ve never told me my prognosis, other than bleeding, stitches, and broken bones.”
Charles clears his throat and wipes his face, Erik pretends not to notice.
“Three broken ribs, you had a large gash down your stomach, that’s where the stitches are, and the source of most of the bleeding. You hit your head, too. I think that was one of the biggest concerns. Other than that, mostly small stuff, scratches, scrapes, and bruises. Oh, and Hank is convinced you broke four toes on one foot. He has questions about how you did that.”
Erik gives a one arm shrug, “I honestly have no idea,” he admits, laughing softly, “I don’t remember much over walking into the battle and then waking up.”
Charles nods, “Then we might need to check over about that head injury again. I’m sure I was supposed to do that when you woke up earlier, but…” He sighs, “guess I got distracted.”
Erik shakes his head, “I’m fine, those few minutes are all I’m missing. I’ve been hit in the head and missed out on more memories than that.”
“Not helping your case, darling,” Charles replies with a huff and Erik smiles against his hair.
“I love you, baby,” Erik whispers.
“Yes, yes, I love you too,” Charles gives in with a playful glare.