Chapter Text
They had sex.
Oh, Rao.
They’d actually had sex. Kara and Lena. Together.
Staring up at her bedroom ceiling, Kara can’t get her paralyzed brain to stop stuttering. She should move. Or say something. Anything.
She can hear Lena’s heart beating away next to her and chances a glance over at the woman who’s supposed to be her best friend. Her platonic best friend.
Lena’s face is startlingly blank.
Oh, Rao.
“Lena?” Kara ventures hesitantly. “Are- are you okay?”
Lena startles a little, seeming to snap back to reality. She looks over at Kara and gives her a tight smile.
“I think so.” Kara knows she isn’t.
“Should we…I don’t know, should we talk about it?”
Lena’s silence is not reassuring. And yet. Yet…Kara has been hopelessly in love with Lena Luthor for years now. And they just had sex. And she can’t bottle it up any longer.
“I’m in love with you.” The words burst out of her before she’s made any conscious choice to voice them. She clasps her hand over her mouth and it’s comical, really. But her heart is hammering harder than it ever has and she’s looking at Lena’s face, frozen in shock, and she can’t find it in her to laugh at her own antics.
“Kara,” Lena breathes, her eyes flitting across Kara’s face, her expression inscrutable.
For a moment, Kara dares to hope. She looks into those green eyes and sees something there…but then it’s gone. Lena looks down to where her hands are clutching the sheets.
“I’m sorry,” she stands up, hastily, grabbing her clothes from where they lay in a crumpled pile at the foot of the bed. “I have to go.”
Kara’s heart plummets. “Oh, right,” Kara says weakly. “Of course.” She has a strong desire to pull the covers over her head.
“I’m sorry,” Lena says again. And that’s it, she’s gone, her clothes piled in her arms, as she rushes out the bedroom door.
Kara just lays there. She knows she could follow, catch up to Lena before she finishes dressing and fleeing out the front door. But she doesn’t. How could she? She just confessed her love and Lena had made it pretty clear how she felt.
For once in her life on Earth, she can’t hear anything beyond the silence Lena left behind. Turns out super hearing can’t compete with heartbreak.
———
She’s not sure how much time passes before she sits up. She just knows she can’t take it anymore. She reaches for her phone where it lays on the bedside table and calls up the first number she thinks of. The one she always thinks of when she needs someone.
“Hey, what’s up?” The sound of Alex’s voice breaks something loose in her and suddenly she’s choking back a sob.
“Kara? Hey, what’s wrong? Talk to me.” Alex sounds panicked now.
“I’m fine,” she blubbers.
“Kara,” Alex is soft, gently admonishing.
Kara takes a deep breath, steadying herself. “It’s just…Lena. I- we…we had sex.”
Kara can hear Alex’s small intake of breath.
“And it was awful?”
Kara let’s loose a small chuckle, despite herself. “Rao, no, that part was actually kind of amazing.” She feels herself blush. Then she remembers the aftermath.
“So what’s wrong?” Alex gently presses.
“I think I messed up. I told her…I told her I love her.” She expects Alex to laugh, to make some joke about u-hauling. But she doesn’t.
“Oh, Kara,” is all she says, and a fresh wave of tears begins to fall.
“I told her I loved her and she didn’t say anything, Alex. She just got up and left.”
“I’m coming over, okay?”
Kara wipes at the tears cascading down her cheeks and nods. “Okay.”
They hang up and Kara thanks Rao for her sister, her person. She’s not sure she could survive this without her.
———
Kara puts the now empty bowl onto her coffee table and slumps back on the couch.
“Feeling any better?” Alex asks, bumping shoulders with her gently.
And despite everything, she is. Just slightly. Alex has always been able to make her feel better. Well, Alex and ice cream.
“A little,” she sighs. “What am I going to do about Lena?”
“What do you want to do?”
“Ugh, I don’t know.” Kara groans as she slumps further down the couch. “I’ve been in love with her forever and now that we’ve…been together, I don’t think I can go back to pretending I’m not.”
Alex reaches over and takes her hand, squeezing gently. “I know,” she says simply.
“But she clearly doesn’t feel the same way about me.” Kara closes her eyes and squeezes Alex’s hand a little tighter.
“I don’t think that’s true, Kara.”
She opens her eyes, peering over at Alex’s thoughtful expression. The smallest kernel of hope blossoms in her chest.
“What do you mean?”
Alex huffs, running her hand through her hair. “I mean,” she says slowly, “that woman looks at you like you’re the freaking sun. She always has.”
Kara doesn’t say anything, can’t quite find the words. So Alex continues.
“I think you need to talk to her, Kara. Whether she wants this or not, you’ll never find out by hiding in your apartment.”
Kara groans, covering her face with her hands. “I wish this was an alien fight. Or the end of the world or something. I’m so much better at punching things.”
Alex laughs at her grumbling. “I know, Kar. I know this is scary. But Lena’s your best friend. You owe it to yourself to try to figure out what’s going on with you two.”
“You’re right.” Kara looks over at her sister, the smallest smile spreading over her lips. She really couldn’t imagine life without Alex. She shuffles closer to her on the couch and leans her head onto Alex’s shoulder. “I love you, you know?”
“I know,” Alex says, kissing the top of Kara’s head. “How about we watch something? I’ll even watch a musical if you want.”
Kara can’t help perking up at that. “You’re on.”