Work Text:
Little freak, Jezebel
You sit high atop the kitchen counter
Stay green a little while
You bring blue lights to dreams
Nancy’s laugh echoed through his mind, her sharp grin and sharper wit pulling on the many tendrils of memory that led him back to her. He remembered her perched on the kitchen counter while he cooked dinner, teasing him affectionately. Jonathan longed for the days like that. When they had nothing to do and could just be with each other, not having to worry about responsibilities. Such days had been rare, especially once summer ended, and that’s what made them so valuable.
Starry haze, crystal ball
Somehow, you've become some paranoia
A wet dream just dangling
But your gift is wasted on me
He missed her in other ways too. Jonathan remembered the times they’d returned to an empty house and she’d smirk, pulling him into a kiss. While he’d always been nervous they’d get caught, Nancy was bold, reassuring him and swiftly chasing away his anxieties as they continued to one of their rooms, her touch leaving goosebumps along his skin.
I was thinkin' about who you are
Your delicate point of view,
I was thinkin' about you
He missed her. In the truest, purest expression of the word, he missed her. Trying to settle on what he missed about her was like trying to force a parent to choose between children. The yearn was for nothing specific, yet everything at once.
I'm not worried about where you are
Or who you will go home to,
I'm just thinkin' about you
He found that he really didn’t care who she hung out with anymore. As long as she was happy, it didn’t bother him if she was with Steve or some other guy. And he hoped she’d made new friends. Since Barb died, Nancy hadn’t had any real, close friends like her. While Jonathan did his best to fill that void, he knew there was a difference between him and another girl. Nancy deserved a true friend of her own who she could talk to besides him, especially if she wanted to talk about him. He didn’t mind.
Did you dress up for Halloween?
I spilled beer on your friend, I'm not sorry
A golf swing and a trampoline
Maybe we'll do this again
Nancy ached for Jonathan. Even though Hawkins was her home, a place where she knew everyone and everyone knew each other and there was this sense of a community struck by tragedy pulling together, sometimes it didn’t feel like home without him. Sometimes she felt lost, just like she had at the Halloween party with Steve, watching him storm out of the bathroom, trying to piece together what it was she’d said or done to make him so angry.
Tracksuit and a ponytail
You hide the body all that yoga gave you
Red wine and a ginger ale
But you would make fun of me, for sure
God, she felt so stupid, looking back. Thinking that she and Steve could just go back to being…normal, after everything. After Jonathan. Eventually, all her thoughts circled back to him. She remembered his smile, his touch, his laugh. How she’d teased him when he watered down his vodka so much it lost all its bite, when she allowed it to numb her mind and soften her edges. But he remained level-headed, quietly looking after her as she rode the effects of the alcohol.
I was thinkin' about who you are
Your delicate point of view,
I was thinkin' about you
Sometimes she wished he was able to let loose more. Not for her own benefit, but for his. He’d spent his life as a parent equivalent, having to perform as an adult long before he was qualified for the role. She wondered if California was doing anything for him, in that sense. If a break from the doom and gloom of Hawkins was making the load on his shoulders lighter, allowing him to just be a teenager. She hoped it was, and she wished she could be there with him.
I'm not worried about where you are
Or who you will go home to,
I’m just thinkin' about you
As they talked less and less, Nancy wondered why. Maybe he’d met someone new, someone better. While the thought made her heart clench, it didn’t anger her. Things happened, people arrived into their lives that were different and exciting. She would never hold that against him, and she knew no matter who he met, she’d carry on loving him all the same.
I disrespected you
Jumped in feet first, and I landed too hard
Every now and then she allowed their fight to resurface in her mind. Thinking about how blind she’d been to his struggles, how inconsiderate, her heart twisted into a choking noose. They’d made up, of course, but only because of him. He’d given in to her stubbornness, her vanity. He was the bigger person.
A broken ankle, karma rules
You never saw my birthmark
Jonathan wished he’d said more before leaving. He wished that he’d apologized, really apologized, for their fight. Maybe he wished Nancy had, too, but he couldn’t control what she did. That was a lesson he’d quickly learned, and if he was being honest, it was one of the things he loved more about her. Her independence, her strength, her resilience.
I was thinkin' about who you are
Your delicate point of view,
But if he could choose a moment to go back to…
I was thinkin' about you
If she could choose a minute in time with him to relive…
I'm not worried about where you are
He’d choose something happy. A moment where everything around them paled in comparison to the importance of her in his arms. A moment where they didn’t want or need anything but each other to be perfectly at peace.
Or who you will go home to,
She’d choose one when they were free. Free to be themselves, to be with each other, to talk and laugh and bicker over pointless things. A minute where Nancy had felt she was floating, addicted to something more delicious than any drug. She’d choose him. If she were given the chance to do it all again, she’d choose him. Every time.
I’m just thinkin' about you