Chapter Text
Normally, Bonnie was a patient person. She had near infinite patience with her friends – even when they did something stupid like, say, turn into a humanity-less killer. She even had patience with Damon all those weeks they spent trapped together in 1994 – no matter how many times he forced an argument or put whipped cream vampire fangs on her pancakes.
But Bonnie didn’t have much for patience these days, and with Kai she had absolutely none.
They were alone now. Damon and Elena had gone off into the dark and snowy landscape of Mystic Falls Past in search of Lily Salvatore, and Kai and Bonnie were left in the woods to do a locator spell on the 1903 ascendant. Their one and only ticket home.
Elena had been hesitant to leave Bonnie alone with the new, feelings-filled Kai, but Bonnie had assured her that she would be fine. New leaf and all that. The lie had been enough to placate Elena, whose curiosity to meet Damon’s mom trumped her worry.
Now, she and Kai stood face to face a mere foot apart for the spell, and Bonnie had to push down the uncomfortable prickling feeling underneath her skin reminiscent of his siphoning.
Kai kept darting glances at her face, like he was constantly trying to read her thoughts, and she really wished he would stop. She kept her own face impassive as he allowed a small amount of blood to drip from his index finger into her palm.
The only thing keeping Bonnie from wrenching away was the knowledge that she wouldn’t need to be patient much longer.
“You have really nice palms.”
Bonnie’s eyes snapped to Kai and narrowed at his words. She wondered briefly if Kai had googled “how to apologize to a woman” and found some vague advice about compliments. His nervous smile faltered when he noticed her reaction. Thankfully, he said nothing, pursing his lips together as if to prevent himself from saying anything else.
She rolled her eyes before turning her attention back to the spell. “Phesmatos tribum, nas ex veras, sequitas sanguinum. Phesmatos tribum, nas ex viras, sequitas sanguinum.”
Of course, it was really too much to hope he could stay silent long enough for her to get through one simple spell. She felt him shift on his feet and knew the words he had tried to stop earlier would come tumbling out.
“Do you know why I’m here?” he asked. His voice was strained and a little rough, but Bonnie ignored him, continuing the spell without pause.
She didn’t care why he was here. She didn’t care if he had changed. There was nothing he could ever do or say that would get him what he wanted: her forgiveness. He didn’t care that he hurt her. He cared that he felt bad about it.
“Because my guilt keeps me up at night,” he continued, sighing when she still didn’t respond. “I don’t- I don’t expect you to believe me. But I need you to give me one more chance.”
Bonnie continued to chant with her eyes closed, her jaw tense. However, closing her eyes didn’t particularly help when she could picture exactly what his face would look like, the epitome of insincere sincerity. She still remembered it from the rave, when he stammered out his blanket apology for “anything he did that hurt her.”
“Bonnie,” he repeated, agitated. This time when she didn’t respond, she felt his fingers constrict tightly around her wrists and her eyes snapped open. He shook her roughly, that familiar look of rage on his face. “Listen to me!”
The grip was painful and she grimaced, scowling at him as she attempted to mask her own fear, memories of their time in the 1994 prison world coming back to her in ultra-vivid flashes. This was the Kai she knew. The one who shot her with an arrow, chased her through a hospital, kidnapped her, and stabbed her again before leaving her for dead in an empty world.
Just as suddenly, his hands fell away, rage melting from his face. His forehead was creased, and his eyes were wide in something like shock.
“Sorry, I…” he stammered out. “Oh my god, I didn’t… I didn’t mean to do that.”
Gritting her teeth, she took a bold step forward, and it almost looked like he might run from her.
“There he is,” she hissed out. He flinched, but didn’t look away. “Even if you’re telling the truth, the old you is still… right…” She put a hand over his heart and pressed against his chest, nails digging into the fabric of his jacket. “Here.”
She glared at him, daring him to contradict her, but he only frowned, his heart beating rapidly beneath her palm. There was something very young in his eyes.
Then Bonnie shoved him back, and he stumbled to regain his balance.
“The ascendent is this way,” Bonnie said flatly, brushing past him.
~
Leading Kai to his death was proving to be easier than Bonnie had initially thought.
Which was why she finally believed he really had changed. Not enough to make him into a good person or even human, really, but the Kai she had known in 1994 would never have allowed Bonnie Bennett to lead him off into the depths of a prison world without question. The old Kai would’ve never stepped foot in another prison world to begin with.
The woods surrounding Mystic Falls were a lot denser in 1903, and Bonnie found herself weaving through dead underbrush and thick trees, clomping through the snow under the soft glow of the Northern Lights. She was debating with herself how far she should go before dropping the ruse. What would be believable, where would be far enough away from the place she planned to leave from. Much as Kai deserved what was coming, she didn’t really want Elena to see what she had done.
“The spell feels stronger,” Bonnie said after a long silence between them. Kai hadn’t spoken since he grabbed her. Apparently, the guy was capable of shutting his mouth. “The ascendant must be around here somewhere.”
“Why would the ascendant be here?” Kai asked, looking around at the nondescript woodland skeptically. There were no discernible markers, nothing to make this patch of woods stand out.
Completely forgettable, like she hoped he would be.
“I don’t know, I didn’t put it here,” Bonnie drawled. She strode out in front of him to give a perfunctory look around the area, continuing her performance, waiting for the perfect moment.
After a beat, he asked, “If you don’t think I’m capable of change, why spend an entire day with me? Why bring me out into the middle of nowhere?”
Bonnie resolutely kept her back turned to him, even though the hairs on the back of her neck were now standing on end. Had he finally figured out her plot? Her shoulders tensed at the thought of his hands wrapping around her throat again, the helplessness she felt as her vision darkened and her nails scraped uselessly at his grip.
“I could gut you all over again,” he continued. There was no malice in his voice, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t considering doing something terrible. It always felt very impersonal, with him. It was one of the reasons she still had nightmares. “Your friends would never even hear you scream.”
Steeling herself, she turned around and pasted on a tight, placating smile. “Because maybe you’re right. Maybe, deep down, there’s a part of me that believes there’s a sliver of good in you.”
Kai started to laugh, and Bonnie felt her heart drop. Any second, he would lunge at her. And he was right. No one would hear her scream.
But she kept her smile, hoping he hadn’t called her bluff.
“And you’d be right!” Kai exclaimed, looking happier than she’d seen him since returning from 1994. He marched past her and she let her shoulders drop, exhaling a shaky breath. “Looking, looking…,” Kai narrated as he examined the snow at his feet.
Bonnie slowly removed the large knife from her coat – the same one Kai had connected to Crocodile Dundee – watching his back for any sign he planned to turn around.
“And nope. They didn’t hide the ascendant in a random pile of-”
His voice cut off as she plunged the knife into his back, taking satisfaction in his pained gasp. He fell to the ground, trying to scramble away from her on his hands and knees, crimson staining the snow around him. Dropping down with him, she grabbed his ankle and drove the knife down again into the back of his thigh.
“Bonnie!” Kai yelped, and this time she could hear the fear. Because in this prison world, he wouldn’t be coming back from the dead.
Bonnie flipped him over by the shoulder before straddling his torso to immobilize him. His face was ashen and he held up his hands protectively.
“What are you doing?” he panted. Like his hands, his voice was shaking.
Bonnie kept the knife raised as she sneered down at him. “Gaining your trust, and then stabbing you in the back. Feels pretty sucky, doesn’t it?”
“Please, don’t,” he pleaded, still wriggling to escape as she held him down.
“Don’t what?” she mocked. “Don’t leave you here? All alone? Drive you to the point of wanting to end your own life?” Her voice had raised with every word and now it was a shout. “I almost killed myself because of you!”
“Please, please, believe me!” he begged, panicked, eyes darting between the knife she held above him and her enraged face. “I’ve changed!”
Suddenly, the rage fell from her face and she smiled. “I know.” She felt him relax beneath her. “So have I.”
She raised the knife and he tensed again.
“Wait!” he yelled. His words became rushed and jumbled as he pleaded with her. “Wait! If you kill me, all of the Gemini will die! That means Liv and Jo, too!”
The knife stopped at his chest, though she let it dig into his skin. “What?”
“Didn’t anyone tell you?” His voice was still high and panicked, and he winced when she pressed the knife a bit deeper. “If the Gemini leader is killed, the whole coven dies with them. Pretty messed up, actually.”
When she still didn’t move the knife, he continued, “Alright. I believe you. You’ve changed. And maybe you could kill me, but can you live with killing all those people?”
This was Damon’s stupid plan. Did he know that killing Kai would have the side effect of killing off an entire coven?
What if he’s lying? a little voice in her head whispered.
He was a liar.
Abruptly, she stood, leaving him on the ground. The relief on his face was short-lived as she turned away.
“Wait!” he called after her. He struggled to his feet before falling to his knees again in an attempt to follow her. “Where are you going?”
She glanced over her shoulder. “Home. Goodbye, Kai.”
“If you leave me here, you’re killing me anyway!” When she turned around again, he added, “Honestly, I’d prefer the knife.” He paused, watching her face. “Either I’ll bleed out, right here. Or, in a few weeks, I’m gonna lose it, Bon. And that’s not me being dramatic, that’s just a fact. I was in 1994 for almost 19 years, and you know how long I lasted there? The first time, I mean. One year. I cannot handle another prison world. And this time, I won’t come back.”
Sometimes Bonnie wished that she had a humanity switch. That she could simply kill Kai or leave him to die without caring about the rest of his coven or anyone else besides herself. Kai deserved to die. He deserved to suffer. He deserved to pay for everything he put her through – put his family through – and more.
But no matter how much Bonnie had changed, she wasn’t like him.
He seemed surprised when she moved toward him and he flinched again when she touched him. Not bothering to be gentle, she pulled him to his feet and yanked his arm over her shoulders. He grunted, grabbing at his side as he tried not to buckle over from the pain.
They walked together without speaking. Kai was limping heavily on the leg she had stabbed and his strained panting was the only thing that could be heard aside from the crunch of snow beneath their boots.
When they reached the same clearing that had first appeared in, Bonnie dropped Kai to the ground, and he instantly collapsed without her support. After recovering his breath, he gingerly brought himself to a seated potion, eyes finding her face.
Still trying to read her thoughts, Bonnie suspected.
“Are we even now?” he asked. Kai was still unnaturally pale, though he no longer seemed panicked. His usual arrogance and sarcastic demeanor were gone, replaced by a dull lifelessness she didn’t recognize.
“Not even close.”
He nodded once, slowly, as he blinked up at her. “Okay.”
Then he passed out, body careening limply backwards until his head hit the ground, bouncing once. She didn’t bother to move him.