Chapter Text
The question of what exactly Akarsha had said to her and then promptly lied about had been eating at her mind for a while, and Noelle finally gave in and decided to thoroughly search their chat logs for it.
It was ridiculous , and a tremendous waste of time, but Noelle kept searching anyway. After what felt like an hour of endless scrolling, Noelle was reluctantly accepting the fact she wouldn’t find it.
Until she did.
certified brain genius
i
uh
man this is hard to say
^__^;;;;;;
i kinda have a crush on you
“Oh my god.” Noelle whispered quietly, jaw dropping slightly. Her hand began to shake as she scrolled down. Maybe this was another joke. Maybe this wasn’t the message Akarsha had meant.
certified brain genius
uh
just kidding!!!
that was my brother xD
“Oh my god .” Noelle repeated, gripping her hair in frustration and, on instinct, slamming her face into her keyboard.
How could she be so stupid ?
She groaned, trying to grapple with the onslaught of emotions that came with three separate realizations.
One, Akarsha had a crush on her.
Two, Noelle asked her if she was joking when Akarsha had confessed.
Three, Akarsha tried to confess to her again a few months ago, and Noelle had no idea what she was talking about .
“Oh my GOD. ” Noelle repeated again, just one last time for good measure.
Akarsha had a crush on her .
Noelle laid on her computer for who-knows-how-long, interrupted by a notification sound. She jolted up, away from her keyboard, eyes widening in horror.
Speak of the devil and he may appear had never felt more applicable than right now.
certified brain genius
lol r u ok?
What?
Noelle read back.
Noelle
.jffgrw,kj,fe
rhty
ht
jkl
Noelle let out an even more frustrated groan. Akarsha had ruined her life. She’d made Noelle do stupid things like slamming her face into her keyboard and sending the girl she had feelings for multiple messages of nonsense gibberish.
Noelle scrambled to write a response that made her seem less like the buffoon she currently felt like.
Noelle
Yes.
I am fine.
Apologies, I misclicked.
certified brain genius
lolol u misclicked a lot
were u rereading old texts
maybe finally falling in love with me
owo
jk
Noelle felt guilt swarm in her chest, knowing she was privy to information she wasn’t supposed to be. She had spent time analyzing Akarsha, figuring out her brain like it was a puzzle she needed to solve. But such transparency was unfound for her. She never meant to see right through Akarsha the way she did now.
Noelle
I was just looking for something.
The is typing icon appeared and disappeared for a few seconds, and Noelle bit her nails impatiently. Couldn’t Akarsha just spit it out? If she was so intent on completely turning Noelle's world upside down, the least she could do is not force more vulnerability onto her.
certified brain genius
well did u find it
Noelle
Yes.
certified brain genius
sooooo
what is it :3?
Akarsha was trying to weed the information out of Noelle. This felt comfortable. More like a game. Familiar to Noelle, and to her understanding of Akarsha. Well, if this was a game, she wouldn’t let Akarsha win.
Noelle
Nothing.
certified brain genius
u know
u say that a lot lately
-.-
how can it be nothing if you say it so often?
Drats. Noelle hesitated at her keyboard for a minute.
Noelle
I don’t know what you want me to respond with.
certified brain genius
indulge my nosiness
whatd u fiiiind
tell meeee
your secrets safe with me
in the vault of my heart <3
have i ever steered u wrong
Noelle
Yes.
I would list every occasion you had steered me wrong before, but we would be here an unreasonable amount of time.
certified brain genius
? so
what is it
Akarsha really wasn’t budging on this, was she?
Noelle
Must you know?
certified brain genius
i love when u talk all fancy to me
Noelle
This is how I always talk.
certified brain genius
-3•~
exactly
Noelle
Akarsha.
Do you think
Noelle sent her message too early, not even realizing the way her hands were shaking until now. She mentally scorned herself, but didn’t get a chance to continue before Akarsha replied.
certified brain genius
on the rarest of occasions
Even a stupid joke such as that made Noelle genuinely chuckle , and she scorned herself again for it. Then, just for good measure, she scorned Akarsha too for having this effect on her in the first place.
certified brain genius
pspspsps frenchman
did u die (•-•)
can i have ur nerd stuff?
Noelle
Did you just call for me as if I were a cat?
certified brain genius
only fair since u REFUSED to put on the cat ears when we were working on that gray wolves project
do you know how that broke my heart?
they say u can never heal a heartbreak noelle
thats what u did. im gonna carry that with me for
the rest of my LIFE.
Noelle giggled again, quietly.
Noelle
Don’t be ridiculous. I’m sure you’ll manage.
It didn’t even make sense. I was a news reporter. Why would I wear cat ears?
certified brain genius
ever heard of autistic liberties
Noelle
Artistic*, is the word I think you meant.
certified brain genius
that too
what im saying is
hey wait we got so off track
u were gonna tell me ur deep dark secret
Noelle
Since when did this morph into a ‘deep dark secret’?!
certified brain genius
lolol
hey uh
just u know
whatever message ur talking about
try not to like
get too weirded out by it
Noelle tapped her desk. Whatever… this was… it was utterly hopeless.
Noelle
What do you mean?
certified brain genius
i know how hard it is for u robots
Noelle
I am not a robot.
certified brain genius
yea yea btw can u click this?
After a minute, Akarsha sent through a poorly cropped screenshot of an I am not a robot Captcha test. This was not the first time Akarsha‘s sent Noelle this exact image, and it certainly won’t be the last.
Noelle
Har har.
Goodnight, Akarsha.
Akarsha
awawah okayy
goodnight frenchie
see u in my dreams -3•~
Noelle slowly shut her laptop, soon realizing she made absolutely zero progress towards confronting Akarsha on what she had said all those months ago. Despite that, she shuffled into bed, holding Snakey close to her chest.
A part of her felt relieved she didn’t bring it up. Was that weird? For her to still be a little terrified of genuinely pursuing Akarsha? Realizing you’ll never be what your parents want you to be is one thing, but the idea of so blatantly defying them scared Noelle.
Noelle understood the fear of change. She just never knew that fear could extend to the positive. What did it mean for her, that the prospect of letting someone truly, unarguably good into her life was so frightening? That the idea of letting herself be happy felt so shameful?
Noelle drifted to sleep, away from deep contemplation. Perhaps she could think about it all later.