Chapter Text
‘This is getting fucking old,’ Karkat thought, rolling his eyes in annoyance.
Once again, seemingly all of Karkat’s friends were living in a romance novel while he stood at the door waiting to be taken home. Kanaya was gettin’ it on with Rose in the corner of the room, Aradia and Sollux were chatting at the edge on the dance floor, and Eridan was getting a cup of punch for Feferi. And if he squinted through the flashing neon lights, Karkat was positive he could see scumbag Strider flirting with Jade.
It happened every time Karkat let his friends drag him to Strider’s parties. His friends flirted, danced, and hooked up until he demanded to be taken home. The only real reason the male went was to make sure his friends didn’t get into any trouble. Occasionally some pervert would try and take them home and he intervened before anything bad happened.
In the meantime, Karkat stood at the door, watching all the partygoers from a distance. His eyes moved from the teenagers and instead he trained his gaze on the furniture around him. He shook his head, spotting what appeared to be a hot tub in the back. It was a pretty known fact that the Striders’ were rich, one reason why Dave’s parties were so huge. Some part of Karkat was jealous, since he lived in a tiny apartment that sported a grand total of three rooms. ‘Nobody should have a house this big,’ he thought, crossing his arms. While he would admit it was nice, he hated the place more than anything.
Karkat sighed as his friend Gamzee stumbled up to him. Gamzee used to be his best friend, although old conflicts had came between their friendship. While everything was worked out now, their relationship wasn’t the same as it had been in previous years.
“Hey, Karkat,” Gamzee spoke, stretching each word out. Karkat could tell his friend was high out of his mind, probably on more than one kind of drug. ‘And of course it’ll be my job to get him home safe,’ he thought, scowling. “You wanna try smokin’ something? You’ll be less angry,” Gamzee asked, his eyelids half-closed.
Karkat shook his head. “No. I most certainly do not want any of your fucking disgusting drugs,” he replied, his scowl deepening. “Okay,” Gamzee replied. “I just thought you might wanna try it. You’re lookin’ kind of lonely all by yourself over here.”
“I want to fucking go home,” Karkat shot back. “But we can’t do that until one of our non-high, non-drunk friends is willing to drive us home.”
“Chill bro. Have some fun. I don’t know why you wanna leave so badly.”
“What’s the fun in immersing yourself in sweaty bodies and alcohol? Because I totally want to come to a party and dance with strangers to the same heavy techno rap music week after week. So much fun! Hey, maybe I’ll hook up with a skimpy, oversexed, blonde whore! Maybe we’ll discuss politics and economics while we bump’n grind!”
Gamzee took a step back, tilting his head at Karkat’s outburst. “Yo brother, you need to relax. Come get me when we need to leave,” he said calmly. Within seconds the male disappeared into the crowd of dancing teenagers.
Karkat sighed, running a hand through his black hair. He glanced to a clock on the wall, muttering a few choice words under his breath. According to the clock, it wasn’t even nine yet. Karkat wouldn’t ask to leave until eleven, any earlier and his friends would be pissed. He could feel a migraine coming on from the music, and prayed one of his friends would want to leave soon. ‘God dammit, I am never coming to-’ a voice interrupted his thoughts.
“Hey, bro.”
Karkat spun around, glaring at whoever had come to try and talk to him. It didn’t sound like one of his friends. This happened occasionally. Sometimes a half-naked girl would saunter over and attempt to flirt with him, other times he’d be offered a beer. Surprisingly, though, the stranger didn’t smell like cheap perfume or alcohol. He smelled faintly of cologne, and Karkat’s blood turned cold when he realized who it belonged to.
Dave. Fucking. Strider.
“What do you want, asswagon?” Karkat snarled.
“You sure are friendly,” Dave commented sarcastically. “Actually, I saw you over here alone and was wondering how I could make the party more fun for you. I mean, it is my job as the host,” Dave said, giving Karkat a crooked smile.
“No thanks, fuckstain. I’m fine by myself,” the black-haired boy snapped. Karkat glowered, hoping the blond would get the hint and leave. Dave just shrugged in response.
“Come on,” the teenager insisted, “I can get you a drink or something. Or I could introduce you to some of friends,” Dave suggested.
“Leave me alone, shitrod,” Karkat hissed. “You can go the fuck ahead and try your act on somebody else with an IQ of 0, because I’m not interested.”
“Act?” Dave questioned, cocking an eyebrow. “This isn’t an act.”
“Of course it is, dunderfuck. Why would you talk to me otherwise?”
“Because I genuinely want to get to know you?”
Karkat laughed, shaking his head. “Yeah, right. Like I said, go try and hit on someone else. I’m not interested.”
“Hit on? Do you think I’m flirting?” Dave asked, chuckling.
“Why wouldn’t I? You fuck anything that moves,” Karkat scoffed.
Dave frowned, training his eyes to the ground. “I’m sorry that I come off as that type of person,” he said quietly, scratching his neck. “But I swear-”
Karkat cut him off. “- Can’t you take a fucking hint? Go away, shitfan.” Dave turned away, his face falling. “Sorry to bother you bro. See you around, I guess.”
Karkat let out a sigh of relief as he watched the obnoxious shade-wearing boy slip into the mass of people. “No way am I staying here any longer,” the male mumbled angrily. Out of all his friends, only Kanaya, Eridan, and Gamzee knew how to drive. There was no way he was letting Gam drive him home though, since he was high on who knew what. Karkat groaned, beginning to fight his way towards Kanaya.
After pushing his way through dancing bodies, Karkat finally stood over Kanaya. His friend was bent over Rose Lalonde, her girlfriend. Karkat watched in disgust as the two engaged in a sloppy makeout session. “Kanaya!” Karkat yelled against the music, “I wanna go home now!” He was ignored.
Karkat jabbed his friend in the back. “Kanaya Maryam, stop making out for one fucking second!” He shouted. Finally his friend sat up, gasping for air. She shot him an irritated look while Rose glared daggers at him. “Would you please let me enjoy myself, Karkat?” Kanaya asked, annoyance slipping into her voice.
“Please, Kanaya? I want to leave now,” Karkat pleaded. His friend sighed. “Fine, Karkat. But I’m letting you know that I am extremely displeased with you,” Kanaya said, standing up. She turned to Rose. “I’m sorry, dear. I’ll be back after I drive him home.” Rose nodded in response, murmuring something back to Kanaya. Karkat watched Kanaya begin to blush as she grabbed her keys. “Let’s go, Karkat.”
…
Within seconds Karkat sat in Kanaya’s passenger seat as she drove him home. After a few minutes of silence, the girl finally spoke up. “So, is there something particular that made you rush out so early this time? Perhaps the quote and quote ‘horseshitting groincatch music’? Or maybe there were too many people. Because Karkat Vantas simply cannot handle being around that many teenagers,” Kanaya spoke, a streak of sarcasm audible in her voice. “I really do not understand why you cannot have fun at parties we bring you to. It’s simply ridiculous.”
Karkat looked at his friend. “Well, I did have a choice encounter with doucheprince Mr. Fuckass Strider,” he said, crossing his arms.
“That isn’t something to get worked up about. I mean, he is quite attractive. If I didn’t swing the other way I might go after him,” Kanaya replied, fixing her messy dark brown hair as they stopped at a red light.
“That douche is nowhere near attractive,” Karkat lied, picking at his nail. If he was being honest, Dave Strider was kind of hot. ‘If he was put on mute and had his prideful smirked wiped off his face, maybe then he’d be tolerable,’ Karkat thought. ‘Otherwise he’s a real piece of dickshit.’
“Mhmhm. Sure,” Kanaya responded, shaking her head in disbelief. “Why do you get so angry about Mr. Strider, anyways?” The brunette asked, driving the car forward as the light turned green.
“He’s a prideful, egotistical, narcissistic, douchebag shitcrisp,” Karkat snapped.
“He really is not,” Kanaya said, pulling onto Karkat’s street.
The male sighed. “Okay, whatever. I’m not arguing with you. Anyways, anything I need to know before I leave? Who’s going home with who? You have to make sure our friends don’t leave with perverts or something.”
“Well,” Kanaya said, tilting her head. “I did see Sollux and Eridan getting pretty close to each other. I heard a rumor that Eridan was going to try and ask out Sollux if things with Feferi didn’t work. Also, I am pretty sure Vriska was hitting on Jade.”
Karkat rubbed his temples. “Oh my fucking God, we don’t need more people hooking up. Okay, just make sure Jade doesn’t go home with Vriska. I don’t like her.”
Kanaya nodded. “I’ll try and get all of our friends home safe,” she said, pulling into an apartment driveway. “Good night, Karkat.”
“Thanks for driving me home, Kanaya. Don’t get too frisky with Rose,” Karkat muttered, unbuckling himself and jumping out of the car.
Kanaya laughed. “I’ll try.”