Archive of Our Own

“If you pull this off, do you think it would work on my father?”

So hurry back, we would like your company…

Gabriel Agreste took a deep breath as his alarm woke him up at precisely 6 in the morning.  Another day was beginning and there was much to be done.  Unfortunately, none of it would get done without him.  He was behind on several designs for his next collection and needed to alter a previous design because his legal team claimed it was too reminiscent of an akuma and was “insensitive” and a “public relations nightmare.”  It was one of his favorite designs, too—both the akuma and the stylish evening wear that it inspired.  Needless to say, he did not hire his legal team for their fashion sense.  

A busy day was already guaranteed, and that was before considering that he was woefully behind in advancing his campaign against Ladybug and Cat Noir.  Why two annoying, plucky teenagers were so difficult to crush was beyond him!  But still, there was never an obstacle that kept Gabriel Agreste from getting what he wanted.  Never for long, that is.

It just infuriated Gabriel that he had been unable to make use of the potential akuma he sensed yesterday, but he’d been obligated to attend a dinner party with Andre and Audrey Bourgeois and that insufferable woman had refused to allow him leave even to visit the bathroom!  By the time she stopped yammering and he could leave, the potential akuma was gone and he had a headache from having to listen to Audrey and Chloe’s wheedling voices all night.  Adrien tried to engage him in some ridiculous, utterly ridiculous conversation during the drive home and he had to order him to be silent just to have a moment of peace.

Perhaps he would luck out and some other bride would be left at the altar today. 

Without looking, Gabriel reached over to his nightstand and turned off his alarm.  Next, he went to put on his glasses…only for his hand to fumble around the empty space he normally left them.

Confused, he finally opened his eyes…and realized he could see clearly.  He was wearing his glasses?  He reached up and…yes, he was wearing his glasses.  They were severely smudged from having slept in them and he would be very put out if he discovered they were in any way bent from the ill-advised use of them.  He didn’t even remember falling asleep with them on.

He never fell asleep with his glasses on!  It was preposterous!  Falling asleep with his glasses on implied that he was doing some sort of activity in bed that required him to wear his glasses, such as working, reading, or watching television.  Gabriel didn’t indulge in such folies.  He kept a healthy separation from such stimulation so as not to upset the quality of his sleep health by disturbing his rest environment.  Goodness knows, he needs only the best quality of sleep when he’s trying to make up for staying up late as Hawkmoth. 

Years past, when he didn’t care as much about sleep quality and he would fall asleep with his glasses on while reading or watching TV, Emilie was the one who would remove his glasses and make sure he rested comfortably.  Without her here, he couldn’t afford to slip on such a task.  It just didn’t do to be reminded of her absence more than he already was.

“What on—” Gabriel sat up and his leg shifted against several lumps he finally realized were on top of him.  “What?!”

There were books littered all across his bed!  Books and highlights and sticky notes!  He did not fall asleep with these books in his bedroom let alone on his bed!  He didn’t even own these books!  They were…

They were parenting books!

“Nathalie!”

*****

“I’m sorry, sir, I have no idea how these books ended up in your bedroom.” Nathalie said with a slight frown.  “I assure you, I had nothing to do with putting them there.”

“I certainly did not, either!” Gabriel snapped, sneering at a book on parent-child communication that was highlighted in several colors and had nearly more sticky notes on it than it had pages.  “I want confirmation of Adrien’s whereabouts last night.  And where was the security guard through all of this?”

“Mr. Godard is on personal leave until Tuesday,” Nathalie reminded.

Ah, yes.  His security guard’s oh-so-secret preoccupation with superhero memorabilia.  He was utilizing some of his vacation days and they were supposed to pretend they didn’t know he was using the time to go to a comic book convention.  

“And the temporary security?” Gabriel asked.

“I will ask Mr. The Hippo to confirm his location during the night.” Nathalie made a note on her tablet. 

“See that you do.” Gabriel stalked away from her and entered his office, startling the Agreste Tech Support personnel within.

After discovering a receipt for the parenting books , Gabriel was horrified to discover that the books were paid for online with his own credit card!  After Nathalie confirmed the purchase on his charge records, Gabriel immediately ordered his tech team to discover how his expensive, military-grade firewall and identity protection had been breached.  

“It wasn’t,” the tech—was his name Robert? He should have them wear name tags—said.  

“I beg your pardon?” Gabriel asked icily.

“We traced the transaction.” A second tech explained—Stephanie?  She looked like a Stephanie.  “The books were ordered from this computer terminal at 2:17 AM last Thursday.”

“With your credit card.” Maybe-Robert stated obviously.

“That’s impossible.” Gabriel scowled.  “No one could have infiltrated my home without discovery, let alone to order this drivel from my computer!”

The techs exchanged looks that clearly said it was not necessary for all three of them to have made the trip to his house to explain this to him.  He should really fire them for that.

The third tech…Libby?  Libby said, “We’ve checked the security footage…”

Nathalie better have limited their access to footage that did not include him accessing the secret entrance to his lair.

“You’ll be happy to know we could clearly see who used your credit card and your computer to make this purchase.” Most-likely-Libby said and held out her tablet.

If all of this was some exploit of Adrien’s…

“That’s me.” Gabriel said.

“Yes, sir, it is.” Possibly Stephanie said.  

“You have obviously failed to find the correct time of the purchase or incorrectly reviewed the security footage.” Gabriel dismissed as he held back the tablet.

“Afraid not, sir,” Maybe-Robert said.  “See, from this angle you can clearly see the screen and you are making the purchase.”

“You even paid for expedient shipping.” Most-likely-Libby said.  “I would see if you could get your money back on that, actually, since it seems you didn’t receive the shipment until last night.”

“I didn’t receive the shipment last night!” Gabriel spat.  “I never ordered it in the first place!”

“Actually, sir…”

Gabriel whirled around on Nathalie, who raised an eyebrow as she held out her own tablet.

“I reviewed last night’s security feed.” Nathalie explained.  “Apparently, after you retried last night, you came back out of your bedroom at 1:03 AM, walked downstairs, retrieved a package that had been left at the service entrance, and carried it back upstairs and into your bedroom.  You did not reemerge again after that.”

Gabriel stared in astonishment at the video.  He did not recall any of that!  And he did not sleepwalk!  He took advantage of people who did sleepwalk!

“You really don’t need to be embarrassed, Mr. Agreste.” Possibly Stephanie said.  “Parenting books can be very helpful and its a sign of strength to recognize when you could use some outside help.  I actually found that book you have in your hand very helpful when I was struggling with my own teen.”

Gabriel would have fired her on the spot if she didn’t have tenure.  

“I will not dignify such an inane and unsolicited comment with a response.” Gabriel said coldly.  “I have clearly been hacked, my identity compromised, and I demand that you uncover how it was done and have the perpetrator charged to the fullest extent of the law.”

All three of the incompetents looked to Nathalie in synchronization.  

Nathalie looked somewhat sheepish and wouldn’t meet his eye.  “Uh, sir…”

“I expect a full report by noon, Nathalie.” Gabriel turned and walked out of the room.  “Escort Robert, Stephanie, and Libby out once they are finished with their investigation.”

An awkward silence settled over the room until the door was closed behind Gabriel.

“Um…are we Robert, Stephanie, and Libby?” Not-Robert asked.

“We get paid extra for leaving the office for this, right?” Not-Libby asked.  “Because house calls weren’t part of my employment contract.”

“I can leave the contact info for my family therapist, if that would help?” Not-Stephanie offered.

Nathalie sighed and decided to simply show the techs out.

*****

And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon

Little boy blue and the man in the moon

“When you coming home, Dad?” 

“I don’t know when

We’ll get together then, son, you know we’ll have a good time then.”

Gabriel scowled as he declined the call from one of his suppliers and immediately went to change his ringtone.  Again.

Thrice now, Gabriel changed his ringtone from the infernal, American folk song.  Thrice now, it somehow changed back.  He was ready to either throw his phone across the room or call his tech support team again.

Only the fear that he would have to deal with the same three buffoons from yesterday if he either broke his phone or reported he was still being hacked stayed his temper.

“Nathalie!” Gabriel called.

Stifling a cough, Nathalie entered from the entry hall.  

“Check Adrien’s devices.” Gabriel ordered.  “I want to know if he’s remotely accessing my phone and sabotaging the settings.”

Nathalie looked confused but left without complaint.  Not ten minutes later, she returned.

“Adrien is currently at fencing practice.” Nathalie informed him.  “His computer is off, as is his tablet which is on his desk.  I checked with The Hippo and he assured me that Adrien was participating in practice and that his phone was safely in his custody.”

Gabriel frowned.  “What about Adrien’s friend?  The one with the glasses and the robot?  How can we confirm if he has hacked our network?”

Nathalie frowned.  “May I ask what problem has occurred?”

Just at that moment, loudly and startling, his phone began to blare:

And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon

Little boy blue and the man in the moon

“When you coming home, Dad?” 

“I don’t know when

We’ll get together then, son, you know we’ll have a good time then.”

Nathalie’s eyes went wide and she stared at Gabriel while he hurriedly ignored the call.

Gabriel straightened his vest and calmly said, “There seems to be a problem with my phone settings.”

“I see.” Nathalie nodded.  “I’ll…call tech support.”

“That won’t be necessary—”

And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon—

Gabriel shut off the phone and gave it to Nathalie.

“Please, resolve the issue.” Gabriel ordered.  “I have other business to attend to.”

Gabriel went back to his work station and pulled up a design that Nathalie was sure had already been finished weeks ago.  More than likely, Hawkmoth would be making an appearance before long, and if he had his way the akuma would be a cell phone technician.

*****

Every morning, Gabriel threw out every annotated parenting book that he had the misfortune of finding in his possession.  The only one he kept was the one he realized Emilie had bought when Adrien was an infant.  That book, he carefully replaced in her nightstand drawer.  All other books he personally took the time to throw into the garbage bin.

Every night, he crawled in bed, took off his glasses, turned off all of the lights, and went to sleep.

Every morning, he awoke too his table lamp turned on, his glasses on his nose, and every single book retrieved from the trash and splayed across his lap.

“Adrien, I am not pleased by these pranks.” Gabriel finally said over breakfast, making an appearance to reprimand his son.

“Pranks, Father?” Adrien asked.

“The ringtones, the books…” Gabriel raised an eyebrow when Adrien still appeared confused.  “The parenting books.”

Adrien’s eyes widened and his jaw dropped.  “Parenting books?  You bought parenting books?”

“Of course not!” Gabriel snapped.  “Someone ordered parenting books and has staged them around me every night !  This is not only a disrespectful encroachment on my personal privacy but also an astounding breach of our security measures.  It has gone on long enough and I demand the truth immediately.”

“I honestly don’t know anything about this!” Adrien frowned.  “Someone’s breaking into your bedroom?  Did you check the security cameras?”

Gabriel cleared his throat.  “Obviously tampered with.”

“And what was this about ringtones?” Adrien asked.

“Somehow, my cell phone ringtone keeps resetting to a specific song.” Gabriel said stiffly.

“What song?” Adrien asked suspiciously.  

“It’s not likely you would know it,” Gabriel said dismissively, trying to gauge his reaction.  “It was before your time.  A song called, ‘Cat’s in the Cradle.’”

Adrien’s eyebrows shot up.  Hmm…so he did know the song.

“That’s about a father and son, right?” Adrien asked.

Darn, he really did know the song.

“I don’t see how that’s important.” Gabriel said, narrowing his eyes.  “Do you , Adrien?”

Adrien blinked and shook his head.  “No, Father.  It’s a nice song, but I didn’t know you used it as a ringtone.”

“I don’t!” Gabriel snapped.

Adrien shrugged.  “Sorry, I wish I could help you.  Have you spoken to anyone on your tech support staff?”

Gabriel grit his teeth.  “Yes.”

Adrien checked the time and wiped his mouth with the napkin and collected his school bag.  “Sorry, Father, I don’t know how to help you.”

“Adrien,” Gabriel said shortly, “are you saying that you had nothing to do with these anomalies?”

“I can honestly say I have had nothing to do with anything you mentioned.” Adrien assured.  “I know nothing.”

Gabriel frowned, uncertain of the mixed feelings he was sensing from Adrien but certain he was telling the truth.  “Very well.  You will alert me or Nathalie immediately if you learn anything.”

“Of course, Father.” Adrien smiled.  “It was nice having breakfast with you, Father.”

That was really more of a generous assessment of the time they spent together.  Adrien was the only one who ate anything, Gabriel didn’t even sit down nor did have even the presence of food on a plate while he conducted his interrogation.

“Yes, be sure to check your schedule with Nathalie before you leave for school.” Gabriel left his son then, deciding to take another look at the security footage.  Perhaps he would ask The Hippo to check that the cameras themselves were not tampered with.  The man himself could be the problem, he was a new employ after all.  He would bring the man up on charges if The Hippo either didn’t resolve the problem or if it “mysteriously” ended when The Gorilla returned.

Adrien smirked as he was left alone.  “Good thing I know nothing, I’m not going to learn anything, and it can’t be proven otherwise.  I have the best friends…”

From Adrien’s pocket, a tiny, laughing tremble could barely be detected.

*****

Just this once, Gabriel sat up in bed with his glasses on and his bedside lamp turned off.  His curtains were drawn, as usual, and his door closed.  No one should be any wiser that he wasn’t asleep, therefore he was ready for the intruder.

Deciding to keep himself awake by watching television, Gabriel searched his nightstand drawer for his seldom used TV remote.  His cable and subscription services were separate from the rest of the manor’s, so he was sure he could find something suitable to watch from the programs he’d set to record and rarely had time to watch.

Gabriel blinked when he read what was on the recording list.

Father Knows Best.  The Fresh Prince of Bel-air.  Finding Nemo.  Different Strokes.  The Lion King.  My Three Sons.  A Goofy Movie.

And more!

Gabriel’s blood pressure began to rise when he realized each title was somehow related to a well respected father character or father-son relationship.  When he found out who orchestrated this mockery…

*****

Gabriel awoke with blurryeyed and with a mild headache.  He felt as though he’d been awake all night making children’s nightmares come true.  There was nothing he wanted more than to go back to sleep.  Still, there was work to be done.  If memory served, there was some sort of school-sponsored club or team competition coming up.  Those kind of things were always escelenent for increasing teen pressure and angst.  Then he needed to review the samples from the fabric distributors—since he fired his last supplier—and he still needed to alter that design that the legal team couldn’t appreciate.

And he still was no closer to discovering who had decided to harass him in his own home.  He’d stayed awake through a few episodes of Fresh Prince of Bel-air and lasted until nearly the end of Finding Nemo but had finally fallen asleep sitting up.  His back and neck were punishing him for this choice, but at least the parenting books remained in the corner where he’d left them yesterday.  He’d stopped trying to through them away, deciding it was a waste of time.  Maybe he’d stayed awake long enough to scare away the intruder and this was the end of the whole escapade.  About time…

Sighing warily, Gabriel slowly rose from his bed and walked to his bathroom.

“AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

Gabriel’s scream echoed through the Agreste Manor and soon the other occupants crashed through his bedroom door.  Adrien was barefoot and in his pajamas while The Hippo was in a robe and matching sleep hat that kept his bald head warm.  Nathalie was already dressed but not yet wearing her heels.  

“Father?!” Adrien gasped, wide eyed and clearly having just awoken.  “What is it?  Are you okay?”

“No, I am not okay!” Gabriel shouted.  “My personal space has been violated by a reject horror movie comedian!”  

Adrien frowned and The Hippo scratched his head.  Nathalie, looking into the bathroom, became wide-eyed and quickly offered to alert the cleaning service.

“I don’t want the maid service!” Gabriel snapped.  “I want the police here within the hour!  The entire room—the entire house, if necessary!—will be dusted for fingerprints!”

Seeing Gabriel gesturing angrily into his bathroom, Adrien and The Hippo leaned around the corner and gaped at what they saw.

Propped up against the mirror and the towel rack, a very life-like Adrien marionette stood with its head cocked and a painted on smile.  The message, “You keep pulling my strings!” Was creepily scrawled across the mirror.  The writing instrument was clearly an old eyeliner pencil that once belonged to Emile and Gabriel kept in the bathroom vanity, awaiting her return.

“Well.”  Adrien said.  “I’m never sleeping without nightmares again.”

With that, his son did an about face and quickly escaped the room.  The Hippo looked far more traumatized than a man with his supposed military experience warranted and also beat a quick retreat, muttering that he was never filling in for Guillaume—no matter what signed memorabilia The Gorilla offered to bring back for him.

*****

The police were decidedly unhelpful and Gabriel found it to be unprofessional to be given a belittling lecture about wasting police resources when the only fingerprints that were discovered in his bathroom were his own.  The rest of the house only yielded the fingerprints of those who were expected to be in the house.  It was an utter waste of time, as— clearly— the intruder was careful to wear gloves and not leave fingerprints or DNA behind.

Adrien was no help, he was childishly giddy to accept the police car ride to school that Officer Raincomprix offered after Nathalie made her foolish attempt to appease the officers by making some sort of donation—without his approval—to a police charity—he didn’t care to pay attention to which one.  He was still peeved over the look Officer Raincomprix gave him when he told Adrien he wanted to talk to him on the way to school.  The oaf was so transparent!  As if he cared about what the man’s opinions were regarding his parenting skills or what a moronic marionette said about the relationship he had with his son!

“Sir?”

“What, Nathalie?!” Gabriel snapped angrily, not paying attention to how it made his assistant jump, slightly.

“Sir,” Nathalie bravely continued, “perhaps its time we looked into…other plausible explain actions for recent events.”

Gabriel scowled at her.  “And what would these… plausible explanations include, Nathalie?”

“Gabriel,” Nathalie said, “all the evidence leads to—”

“Blast the evidence, Nathalie!” Gabriel exclaimed.  “I did not do any of the things I appear to do on the security cameras!  I am not sleepwalking or losing my mind!  I do not need to speak to a counselor.  I will instal a temporary security camera in my bedroom.  That will prove my lack of involvement.”

“Gabriel, there is no physicals evidence that someone is breaking into the manor and I—” Nathalie broke off suddenly to cough but quickly recovered.  Gabriel paused to let her recover, but for once was too preoccupied to be sufficiently concerned.  “I have confirmed Adrien’s location during the times in question.  I am confident he is innocent of any involvement in this.”

“There must be an answer…” Gabriel mused.

“What, Gabriel?” Nathalie asked in exasperation, voice slightly raspy. “are you going to claim that you are a victim of a ghoul, like Mlle. Rossi?”

“Don’t be assured.” Gabriel frowned.

“Then what earthly reason could there possibly be for any of this?” Nathalie demanded.

“Earthly, indeed.” Gabriel glowered.  “You and I both know, Nathalie, that there are more powerful ways to accomplish a task than by mere ‘earthly’ means…”

*****

“Nooroo, Duusu,” Gabriel said menacingly, “I order you to reveal your part in the antics that have befallen my home.”

“Antics are fun!” Duusu exclaimed, quickly hushed by Nooroo.

“We haven’t had any part in the strange happenings in your home, Master.” Nooroo said timidly.

Gabriel sneered and growled in frustration.  “Is Adrien behind this?  Or one of my employees?”

“Oh, I don’t think so!” Nooroo exclaimed.  “I don’t know that any of them are responsible!”

“Adrien is such a good boy!” Duusu chirped.  “So kind and such pretty hair…”

Gabriel didn’t bother to stay while the kwami went on a, no doubt, long tangent of insipid praises for his son.  He left the kwamis in the lair and took the lift back to his office.  Perhaps it was time to expand the armory…

*****

His sleep was suffering.  And, if he were honest, so was his sanity.  

The Gorilla returned from his vacation but the incidents continued with no answer having been discovered by Mr. The Hippo and no charge once the broad man fled the manor with a brief look of commiseration and best wishes to Guillaume.  His bodyguard was confused, to say the least, and he remained confused even after a very lengthy explanation from Nathalie.  For some reason, Gabriel caught him patting Adrien on the shoulder once.  It was completely baffling and had Gabriel questioning the intelligence of his staff.

In the days that followed, Gabriel received no respite whatsoever.  No, in fact, the incidents seemed to increase.  He now could not put on an article of clothing or stick his foot into a shoe without discovering a clipping of some sort of father-son centric comic strip.  He wasn’t very familiar with the comics, but had looked them up briefly and couldn’t understand why some sappy waste of newsprint would be stuffed in his collars, shirt pockets, shoes, and even his cravat drawer!  He was beginning to smell like a printing shoppe.

What was more maddening, was that anytime Gabriel found himself alone in the manor, the intercom system would come alive and begin to blare that infernal Cradle Cat song again!  There was no escaping it!  But the moment Nathalie returned when he’d recalled her from the office, the music stopped.  There was seemingly no interference with the system either.

The moment she left again—noticeably annoyed even if he hadn’t been wearing the Miraculous—the music started again.  He couldn’t even escape it in his lair, and thus was prevented from focusing on any aspect of his work.

Normally he couldn’t stand leaving the Manor.  He’d never really been a…social butterfly…but since Emilie he’d lost any remaining interest he had in interacting with the human masses.  He got more than enough of that mess when he sent out akumas and amuks, thank you.  It was just lucky Adrien was around to send out on the appearances that demanded a personal Agreste touch.  He had Emilie’s natural charm and social skills and that served Gabriel’s purposes fine.

Despite that, Gabriel found it a relief, for once, that he was forced to venture to his corporate offices for a meeting of his board of executives.  No matter how his tormentor breached his home, he was certain the menace couldn’t have infiltrated the Gabriel Office Complex.  Why would anyone bother?  He was so rarely there, himself.

Gabriel curtly greeted his board members and they all quickly sat down around the conference table, eager to get the meeting over with and back to more important things.  Or at least, that was Gabriel’s general assumption.  He wasn’t overly fond of the board; they were more of a formality that kept things in a company as large as Gabriel’s running.

“My assistant is handing out copies of the proposed line for—” Gabriel was suddenly cut off when one of the senior members, Raul Sinclair, raised his hand.

“Gabriel, what is the meaning of this drawing?!” Raul exclaimed, alarmed.

“Drawing?” Gabriel repeated in confusion.

Raul held up the sheet of paper in his hand that was decidedly not part of the new line.  Gasps and murmurs broke out around the table.

“I…have never seen that drawing.” Gabriel said stiffly.  “I have no explanation for it.  Surely it is a childish joke.”

“A joke?” Heather Lee, another senior member, said in disbelief.  “Gabriel, can you see this drawing?  Do you realize what it is?

Oh, he could see the…drawing.  All too well, could he see the drawing.  It made his eyes burn, both from the audacity and the sheer atrocious quality.  

The…“drawing,” for lack of a better word, looked like it was drawn by a drunk in the dark.  With one’s foot.  It was childlike, he supposed, but if Gabriel ever had a child give him something as ugly as that thing he would have incinerated it immediately.  Yet all talent aside, it still managed to portray a sad-faced, blonde boy walking down a catwalk.  The boy was wrapped in what one could only presumed to be multiple balls and chains.  It even had a blue “tear” running down the boy’s cheek.

If anyone actually cried a blue tear, that person had more pressing concerns to see a doctor about than some catwalk melodrama.

“Gabriel, did your son draw this?” Raul asked.

“Certainly not!” Gabriel scowled.  “My son is far too old for such childish nonsense!”

Very few of the members seemed appeased by his reassurance.  

“‘Nonsense’ or not,” Heather said, “I move that Adrien Agreste’s contract be reviewed and his work hours and environment investigated.  There’s no reason to risk an infraction of Child Labor Laws, and clearly there may be a case that Adrien is not as happy in his role within the company as we were led to believe.”

“That’s ludicrous!” Gabriel exclaimed.  “My son—”

“Is first and foremost a fourteen year old.” Raul said firmly.  “If there is nothing of concern regarding his work conditions, then the investigation will show that.  Now, back to the new line…”

Gabriel’s jaw dropped, astonished at how quickly he’d lost control of his own board.

*****

The disruption more commonly known as “the drawing” or the “cry for help” was only the first “work of art” that crossed his path, but it was not the last.  While Gabriel had never seen the Model Prisoner drawing, the next several drawings were all vaguely recognizable.  

Adrien was never an artistic genius, a sad fact as he wouldn’t likely follow in Gabriel’s footsteps, but there were still ways to make him useful in the company, but he did possess more talent than the abysmal Model Prisoner artist displayed.  Old drawings that Gabriel thought he’d either thrown away or put away began appearing in the most random places.  Once, he found a picture of Emilie, Adrien, and him picnicking folded nicely with the handkerchief he wore in his jacket pocket.  Another of Adrien and “Dad” playing appeared tapped to his forehead when he woke one morning.  His safe (that was obviously not safe), his pajama drawer, his snack bar in his bedroom, the medicine cabinet in his bathroom—no place was safe from some old nostalgic momento.   

It was annoying, to be sure, but worse was when his entire wall of fabric swatches mysteriously was cleaned off and in its place was Adrien’s old list of things Gabriel promised to do with him but never got around to.  Again, Gabriel accused Adrien of the mischief, but Adrien reminded his father that Gabriel had taken the list when he was ten so he could “remember” his promises and “get around to them.”  Gabriel seethed when he realized that was true, he’d locked the list away for appearances until Adrien forgot about them.  So much for that.

Nathalie seemed to be convinced that one or both of the Agrestes were committing these absurdities in some repressed bid for familial affection.  Because of her, Gabriel was forced to eat several meals in a row with his son.  The boy didn’t have any valuable information to share about his classmates, for once, and Gabriel had to pretend he was interested as Adrien prattled on about a physics project.  It wasn’t even a partner project, there wasn’t anything of use for him as Hawkmoth.

Heart clenching shock did grip him when he looked down at his plate and saw that his scrambled eggs and vegetables clearly spelled out “Dad.”

“Father?” Adrien paused in his story.  “Are you alright?”

This was exactly the type of thing Nathalie wouldn’t understand.  “I’m fine.  You were saying something about your…geometry project?”

“Uh…yeah.  Physics, actually…” Adrien continued, though somewhat less enthusiastically.

*****

“Gabriel!  This can’t continue!” Nathalie shouted, a new coughing fit starting as the smoke cleared from the entrance hall. 

Gabriel breathed hard and waved the smoke away to check on his test subject—one of the more heavily highlighted parenting books.  

“It won’t be necessary, Nathalie.” Gabriel announced, somewhat manically.  “The test was a success.  The updated weapons system has pin-point accuracy and devastating intensity.  Just look at its intensity!”

Gabriel scooped up the smoking ashes that remained of the book within the crater on the floor.  Nathalie glared at him, still coughing and utterly unimpressed.

“We have to live here, Gabriel!” Nathalie shouted once she regained her breath, covering her mouth and nose with her turtleneck.  “You have a child under this roof!  These ballistics are a tragedy waiting to happen!”

“They are merely a precaution…” Gabriel muttered, examining the control panel to begin his next test.

*****

That very night, after Adrien had gone to bed and was very careful not to ask about the new craters gracing the grand entrance of the Agreste Manor, Gabriel and Nathalie sat hidden behind a fern across from the staircase.

“Sir, this is ridiculous.” Nathalie whispered.

“Ridiculous, utterly ridiculous!” Gabriel tittered.

Nathalie stared at him in trepidation out of the corner of her eye.

“Sir, I think I’ve been beyond supportive of your endeavors these past years…” Nathalie spoke normally.

“Shhh!” Gabriel hissed, tugging her down when she started to stand.

“…but this is too far!” Nathalie hissed.  “You’re starting to scare me!”

“You’ll see!” Gabriel growled.  “Everyone will see…once my prey springs my trap…”

“Sir!”

“We’re close, Nathalie!  I can feel it!” Gabriel grinned.  “Soon everyone will see what’s really been happening!  I’ll have the culprit in hand!  You’ll eat your words, Nathalie!  Why would I ever sabotage my own presentations and torment myself by popular folk ditties?!”

“I don’t presume to know, sir, I am merely trying to encourage you to address your somnambulism.”

“Enough, Nathalie!” Gabriel demanded.  “Lower your voice, you’ll scare the intruder away!”

“Gabriel Agreste, if you won’t state the obvious, I will!” Nathalie stood and rounded on her boss, getting in his face.  “It is obvious your relationship with your son is lacking.”

“That is none of your business!” Gabriel snapped.  “Absurd…”

“You have made it my business!” Nathalie snapped right back.  “I am instrumental to running both your business and your personal life, and I can attest that both are hanging on by a thread!”

Engrossed in their argument, neither noticed a door open upstairs and Adrien creep out of his room, drawn to investigate the raised voices.

“If these shenanigans aren’t your subconscious way of expressing your guilt for how you’ve pushed away your son, then it certainly is someone’s idea of making a statement!” Nathalie continued.  “And don’t you dare claim to be above all these taunts and accusations!  You’ve been driven completely to distraction!”

“I have every right to be distracted when—”

Very rarely did Nathalie speak against her boss, much less oppose him.  Never could he remember her raising her voice to him.

“Your home has not been invaded by little gremlins obsessed with your relationship with your son!” Nathalie shouted.  “You are the soul target and the soul intended!  Don’t you wonder why?  Because you, Gabriel Agreste, need to stop being so self centered and focus some of your time and energy on your son instead of focusing on Emilie to the exclusion of everything else in life—including and especially her own, beloved son!  You know very well that she hated when you prioritized the company over spending time with her and Adrien!  You are squandering the gift she gave you in Adrien and it's tearing you apart!  That is why all of these incidents have occurred.  It’s time you stopped focusing on finding an imaginary culprit and started spending real time with your son!  And preferably with a qualified professional!”

“Don’t you dare throw Emile’s ‘gift’ at me!” Gabriel growled, rising to his feet.  “That gift is nothing more than a curse!  Losing Emilie is what has torn me apart, not my relationship with Adrien!  And I have no interest in fixing her mistakes than I already do!”

A gasp on the stairs caught both of their attentions and they whirled around to find Adrien staring at them, stunned.  Tears filled his eyes but Adrien didn’t say anything.  All he could was stare at his father in utter heartbreak.  Gabriel could sense it clearly through the Miraculous.

“Adrien…” Nathalie reached for him but Adrien stumbled back a step and knocked over a sensor on the banister.  “Adrien, no!”

As quick as a blink, a laser gun revealed itself from the crown molding.  With pin-point accuracy and devastating intensity, the gun fired directly where Adrien was standing.  

“No!” Nathalie screamed.  

It was over before she could race through the obstinate course of sensors Gabriel laid like a minefield over the hall.  A crater and a broken sensor littered the staircase where Adrien would have been had he not slipped and toppled down several stairs. 

“Adrien!” Nathalie was at his side in a moment, coughing as she worriedly checked him for injuries.  

Wide eyed and gasping in shock, Adrien stared at the crater and then at his father.  Unsure which surprised and scared him more.  

“Adrien, are you hurt?” Nathalie asked.  

The Gorilla, alerted by the explosion, ran into the room and skidded to a stop, just shy of the minefield.  Surprised but adapting, he deftly hopped over the obstinate course to his charge’s side.

“I’m…” Adrien whispered.  “I’m f…”

He wasn’t fine. 

Nathalie snatched the security remote from Gabriel’s hands and disarmed the weapons system.  She and Guillaume helped Adrien up the stairs and back to his bedroom, speaking in quiet tones.

Gabriel stood alone in the entrance hall for a long while.  No one came back.  Eventually, he walked up the stairs, turned to the opposite direction of Adrien’s room at the split in the stairs, and retired to his bedroom.  

*****

It was no surprise that Gabriel received no sympathy whatsoever when for the next week he woke every day to some sort of insult written across his forehead in Emilie’s expired cosmetics.  The first day after the explosion was the worst, it took nearly an hour for Gabriel to scrub all the insults off his face, neck and arms.  Even then, Nathalie was soon spitefully pointed out that he missed some waterproof mascara, that was especially unflattering, on the side of his neck below his ear.  

“Surely, you can concede that I did not deface myself like this!” Gabriel protested.

Nathalie merely glared at him and pointed out the words were only legible when read in a mirror and was only in places Gabriel could reach himself, even if he couldn’t see it easily.  She was firmly of the belief that he was doing this to himself in his sleep.  There was a telling comment that if she or someone else had been writing on him in his sleep that she would have been more painful and creative…Gabriel kept to himself after that.

Adrien was rarely seen around the manor.  They did not speak after Gabriel’s outburst.  While Nathalie insisted he needed to speak to his son, Gabriel did not believe parents needed to explain themselves to children.  Adrien misunderstood his statement.  That was all there was to it, but Gabriel could hardly explain that to him.

It was better to let it work itself out once Emilie returned.

He remained silent as statements such as cruel, heartless, neglectful, controlling, and unappreciative wrote themselves across his face and neck throughout the week.  Nathalie caught him trying to order makeup remover and asked him when he was going to admit he had a problem.

His answer was that he knew he had a problem.  He’d been trying to solve his problem for weeks .  In a moment of peevishness, he insisted that he was not writing on himself, he was not a sleep cosmetologist, and if he were, he wouldn’t be so tacky.

The next morning, he awoke to find himself in the full makeup of the clown from Pagliacci .  Regular soap was not removing it and the makeup remover hadn’t arrived yet.  Gabriel had to go downstairs and face Nathalie to ask if he could borrow some from her.

Gabriel emerged from his room at the exact moment Adrien left his bedroom.  They stood on opposite sides of the staircase and stared at each other in silence.  Adrien still had a melancholy appearance, but when he saw Gabriel in full clown makeup he huffed a small laugh, shook his head, and smirked before briskly descending the stairs and going into the dining room.

Deciding to practice discretion, Gabriel turned back and barricaded himself in his bedroom until Nathalie could bring the makeup remover to him.

*****

“Okay, are the sparklers in place?”

“All set!”

“Timer’s all set to go off every hour!”

“Good…” Plagg rubbed his paws together.  “The Old Man should have a very…enlightening evening…”

Barkk and Longg were hiding with him in the air duct outside Gabriel’s door, all of them eager for the next phase in Operation: Break Gabriel.  It was a plan Plagg was all too glad to continue and had to hold himself back from escalating after the piece of expired processed cheese made his kitten cry.  

Personally, Plagg wasn’t above using slime illusions of Emilie Agreste to taunt Gabriel, but he knew that might be a little too cruel and his kitten wouldn’t like it.

All of the kwamis were happy to help Adrien with his dad troubles, especially as they witnessed how coldly Gabriel treated their Cat.  Even Ladybug got in on this mission, after they told her that the brief Snake holder had revealed some concerning home troubles during one of his thousands of re-dos.  

The Guardian donned the Fox Miraculous for a few strategic nights when they needed to create a smoke screen in front of the security cameras.  It really was too easy.  She hadn’t even needed to be in the manor to cast the illusion.  All kwamis had to do was explain where to place the illusion, and she did the theatrics. 

There were far fewer grand tricks necessary for Gabriel.  No dark and stormy nights and no big, spooky scare.  Really, most of the hard work was strategic planning and quick slight of hand when Gabriel’s attention was elsewhere.  They hadn’t expected him to so easily be redirected, but they weren’t complaining.  

The only real disaster was Gabriel’s weapons upgrades.  Who would have thought a fashion designer could get a hold of that kind of fire power?!  Who was he, Edna Mode?!  Surely, he didn’t come by those ballistics legally.  They never would have endangered Adrien if they thought Gabriel was capable of that kind of damage.

“Are you sure we can’t put ants in his bed?” Barkk asked.  “Maybe a few spiders?’

Plagg shook his head.  “Tikki’s working on getting a sugar trail from the garden to his bedroom, we just have to be patient.  It’ll be far more efficient if the insects make their own way there than if we try to corral them.”

“Ooh!  I love corrals, they're like a big petting zoo!”

Plagg, Longg, and Barkk all jumped at the voice that echoed from down the air duct. 

“Was that…” Another voice whispered.

Not waiting any longer, Plagg dashed forward, the others just behind him.  Just around the corner, just lit up by the hallway outside the vet, they all slammed against something else.  They all ended up in a kwami pile and looked up warily.

“Ahh!” Plagg, Longg, and Barkk screamed in surprise.

“Ahh!” Duusu and Nooroo screamed. 

“Ahh!” Longg and Barkk screamed.

“Ahh!” Duusu, Nooroo, Longg, and Barkk screamed.

“Knock it off!” Plagg snarled, then turned to his lost friends in surprised excitement.  “Nooroo?!  Duusu?!”

“Plagg!” Dussu cried happily, engulfing Plagg in a hug. 

Nooroo peeled himself off the vet.  He looked nervous, but relieved.  “I thought I felt the close presence of more kwamis!”

“You sensed more than any of us did!” Plagg grinned widely.  “Course, lately there have been a lot more of us zooming around this place!”

“This is incredible!” Longg exclaimed.  “We feared we would never be reunited with you two!”

Nooroo’s smile dimmed.  “Please, you must hurry and alert the Guardian to our location!  Our master is suspicious of the bizarre happenings of late, and at first he blamed us!  He forced us to tell the truth, that we knew nothing of what was happening so I could honestly deny any knowledge without revealing my suspicions of your proximity.  But if he forces us to speak again, we will be forced to reveal your presence!”

“Go ahead!” Barkk growled.  “I got a few things to say to him…”

Plagg hissed.  “Not now!  First we get Ladybug and I get my kitten out of here, then we can finish with him !”

“Wait!  There’s more you must know!” Nooroo cautioned them. 

Duusu spun in the air and laughed and cried.  “Oh, it's so wonderful and terrible!  My poor mistress!”

Plagg looked at Nooroo in concern.

“You must ask the Guardian to prepare an autonomy charm.” Nooroo said gravely.

Plagg reeled back in surprise and frowned.  This was worse than he thought…he needed to act fast to protect his kitten.  Before his father could hurt him further…and before any more forces could threaten him.

*****

“Don’t be bemused, it’s just the news!” Nadja Chamack greeted her viewers.  “It’s official, Parisians!  In an announcement from the Chief of Police, it was revealed today that Hawkmoth has been positively identified and arrested.

“Fashion fanatics were shocked on Friday when fashion mogul Gabriel Agreste was arrested in his iconic home, Agreste Manor.” Nadja went on, showing footage of the famed Agreste Estate.  “While rumors regarding his arrest have ranged everything from alleged child abuse to illegal munitions storage, we can now confirm that Gabriel Agreste was positively identified as Hawkmoth.  In her statement to the police, Ladybug reported that an anonymous source from within the Agreste household discovered Gabriel’s alias and immediately brought the information to her and Cat Noir.  Police were called to conduct a search of the premises and M. Agreste is reported to have transformed in front of them in a last attempt to gain the Miraculouses.  His assistant, Nathalie Sancoeur, voluntarily surrendered herself and has confessed to aiding Hawkmoth as Mayura.  Mme. Sancoeur is currently residing in a secure hospital and has agreed to act as a witness to Hawkmoth’s actions in exchange for any medical help Ladybug can offer her and the formerly missing Emilie Agreste.  The circumstances around the disappearance and apparent illness of Emilie Agreste and Nathalie Sancoeur remain a mystery, but Ladybug and Cat Noir have assured the public that the cause of the illness is not contagious and all artifacts stolen and misused by Hawkmoth have been recovered.  The trial of—”

“So…I’m okay not listening to that right now, how about you?” Adrien asked as he reclined on the couch, Plagg nestled into his neck and purring.

“Couldn’t agree more, Kitty.” Marionette turned off the TV and her living room descended into silence.

Most of the kwamis were upstairs in her room, though a few flitted between floors while Tom and Sabine met with M. Godard and a lawyer to finish securing Adrien’s custody arrangements.  While his aunt Amalie was listed as his legal guardian, should anything happen to his parents, the courts were scrutinizing all relatives of Gabriel and Emilie Agreste for possible knowledge or assistance in their misuse of ancient magical artifacts.  As much as Adrien loved his aunt, he was glad not to be shipped off to live with his bubbly aunt and aloof cousin.  Especially right now.  He didn’t know what to think of his family, especially after what he learned…

He wished he could talk to his mother, but that wasn’t an option at that point.  Gabriel was even less of an option.  Tom, Sabine, and Gorilla knew the truth and encouraged him to talk to someone about all he’d learned and his father’s abuse the last few years…especially in the last weeks.

But how did you explain feeling like a living doll to a therapist?  That the person you always felt closest to and felt you could trust had a way of pulling his strings and taking away his free will at any time?

“Adrien?” Marionette asked.  “How are you feeling?  You know, since…?”

“The charm worked.” Adrien reassured her.  “I tested when the police let me see him after the arrest.  They hadn’t taken the ring from him yet.  He started rubbing it.  I don’t even remember what he asked me to do.  I just remember being shocked that he actually did it .  It was just confirmation of what we already knew, but…wow.  Anyway, he was plenty surprised when I didn’t comply.  Even more when I asked the police to take custody of the ring.  He resisted at first, but he gave me the ring.  I was pleasantly surprised when he tried to stop me from destroying it.  Guess he did care…somehow.”

“You should have seen his face when he realized Adrien wasn’t going anywhere, Pigtails!” Plagg cackled.  “Those poor coppers didn’t know what the heck was going on or what the big deal was that the kid broke the ring!  I’ll never forget it!”

Marionette smiled sadly and took Adrien’s hand.  “So…guess this kwami intervention didn’t go quite as we’d hoped?”

“No, but I’m glad you did it.” Adrien smiled softly.  “He needs to be in prison.  Now maybe my mom and Nathalie can get the help they need.  And I can get the help that I need, too.”

“You’re free, Adrien.” Marinette smiled.  “Whatever happens next, it’s completely up to you.  If you want you can dye your hair green, join the circus, quit school and become a professional video game player…”

Adrien laughed.  “Sure, sure…but what will I do when word gets out that I couldn’t beat the school genius and the school sweetheart in a fair game?”

Marinette waved off his concern.  “Not a problem, we’ll just keep training you until you can beat me and Max with your controller behind your back!”

Adrien rolled his eyes and took another cookie from the plate they were sharing with Tikki.  

“I don’t know what I’ll do next…” Adrien admitted.  “But for the first time in my life, I have choices and the opportunity to discover what I want.  And I have the support of people who will help me be all I can be, not all they want me to be.”

“Hey, don’t put us on a pedestal.” Marinette warned.  “There might be moments when we have wishes of our own for you.”

“But the difference is that you won’t control or manipulate me into doing what you want.” Adrien said with assurance.  

“Never.” Marinette agreed.

“I can handle normal relationship hurdles, Marinette.” Adrien smiled with his head tilted back.  “I’m fearfully and wonderfully made, I’ve got the world before me, and I’ve got my favorite people behind me.  If I could rate this Kwami Intervention, I’d give it 8.5 out of 10 starts.”

“Only 8.5?!” Plagg cried in outrage.

“Well yeah…” Adrien smirked.  “You didn’t get my father rambling about disembodied, blinking eyes and goody-goody ghosts like you did with Lila.”

“What about the clown face?!” Plagg cried.

“You’re right.  That’s worth at least a 9.5.  It was some of Pollen’s best work.” Adrien nodded.

“It was my idea, you know.” Plagg smuggly claimed.

“You get a half point deduction for marionette!Adrien, though.” Adrien said.  “That was way creepy and, as it turns out, way too on the nose.”

“Fair.”