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When Harry wakes up on his 18th birthday, he’s overjoyed to find that it’s to his godfather and his boyfriend singing ‘Happy Birthday’ as they bring him breakfast. Evidently, George had snuck out of bed to go help Sirius with the birthday breakfast.
“Happy birthday, kiddo,” Sirius grins, playing the tray of food on his lap.
“Yeah, happy birthday, love,” George states, sitting beside him and kissing his cheek.
“Thank you, both.”
Harry grins as they begin to eat, happy that for the (second) time in his life (first with Sirius) he could actually have a birthday celebration. Sirius’ return to the land of the living had been a delight, especially after the war, and he’d been so happy that it hadn’t caused a rift between him and George (since Fred’s loss is still so fresh). He’s especially happy today since he had never gotten the chance to celebrate his birthday with Sirius (given that his one and only birthday with friends/family was his seventeenth and Sirius was beyond the Veil).
“We’ve got big plans for today including your not-so-secret surprise party,” Sirius says, half teasing as he throws a look at George.
“I’m sorry, but you can’t tell me that you wouldn’t have given in if he’d given you that look.”
Sirius laughs, “Yeah, still, so much for surprise.”
“I’ll act surprised, I promise,” Harry grins. “Besides, I could help set up for the party.”
“You’re not setting up for your own party. We’ll handle it.”
“Alright – alright, but I don’t know what I’m going to do while you two set up a party for me.”
“You’ll relax and enjoy your birthday.”
***
That’s exactly what he’s doing hours later, sitting on the couch enjoying the video games that Sirius rigged to work in their new house (they’d moved from Grimmauld Place almost immediately upon Sirius’ return). George had wanted Harry to live with him in the flat above the store, but when Sirius came back, Harry wanted to experience living with his godfather for a least a little while. Especially as it had been his ultimate dream to live with Sirius when he’d been thirteen, and since Sirius had agreed to allow George to live with them, there wasn’t any reason not to – it literally gave them everything they wanted.
Still, it’s much more fun to play video games when he’s got someone to play with. Sadly, despite magic, it still does take some time to set up a party.
Just as he’s wondering how much longer, the doorbell rings.
Surprised since the party won’t start for another two hours, Harry gets up to find out who it is: maybe an early partygoer, maybe a salesperson, maybe a neighbor?
It’s none of those people.
As Harry opens the door, he’s thoroughly surprised to find Dudley on his doorstep. “Dudley?”
“Hey, Harry, I – er – I was hoping this was right.” He’s standing there, a bit nervous, with a clearly wrapped present in his hands. “I – I, your – er – friends said that you … that it was over, and we went back home, but you never came back. Then I found your brief card that had an address and – well, happy birthday.”
He offers Harry the present, and a little shocked, Harry’s unsure of what to say when someone comes up from behind Harry.
“Everything all right, kid?” Sirius asks. “Who’s this?”
“This is Dudley,” Harry answers, breaking his shock. “Why don’t you come in for – er – tea or something?”
Dudley nods uncertainly, still holding onto the present and follows Harry and Sirius into the kitchen. Harry can tell he’s a bit nervous being in a magical household, his eyes wondering over the clock with spoons of Harry and Sirius’ faces pointing at home, the dishes washing themselves, and the tea pot now making some tea on it’s own. Everything about the house screamed magic, which Harry knows Dudley to be utterly afraid of.
They all sit at the table, Harry positioning himself opposite of Dudley.
“Er – so, this is for you. Happy Birthday,” Dudley offers after a minute of awkwardness.
“Thanks,” Harry says, lamely.
He doesn’t know how he should react in this situation. Aside from ‘You’re not a waste of space’, Dudley hadn’t exactly been kind to Harry, ever, and although he’s remembered Harry’s birthday before, he’s certainly never been nice about it. Harry can distinctly remember his twelfth birthday where Dudley antagonized him, complained to Petunia and got him stuck with twelve hours of work and a lumpy cheese sandwich for it all. Of course, that also ended with Dobby making things worse and having to be broken out of his bedroom three days later by the Weasley brothers.
The tea pot disrupts the silence as it begins pouring everyone tea, George joining them at the table.
“Er – well, like I said, I thought you’d come home, but when I saw your card…”
Harry can’t help shaking his head, “No offense, Dud, but I’d been counting the days until I was an adult and able to leave for as long as I can remember – if it could’ve been done any earlier, I never would’ve come back.”
“Oh, right, of course. I guess – with everything that happened… that makes sense.”
Harry nods, still uncertain and uncomfortable.
“It’s just – I never – I wanted to find someway to make things up to you. To thank you for saving my life and I know – I know it’s probably too late, but I thought – well, I’m sorry. For – for everything.”
Deep down, Harry knows that Dudley was a product of his parents’ lack of parenting and encouraged to be the absolute arsehat he has been to Harry, and yet, Harry can’t quite accept his apology. None of what happened in that house was okay, and an apology only given after Harry saved his life makes Harry question it’s sincerity. Yet, he came all this way, so Harry doesn’t know what to say.
Dudley clearly picks up on his uncertainty, and says, “I – I know that I – I can’t make up for everything with a present and – and that you may never forgive me, but I – I wanted to talk about things after fifth year, but you – you never left your room and the only time I saw you before we all left home was when you were arguing with dad and I – I just, I never…”
“After fifth year, I was in mourning, I couldn’t deal with – honestly, any of you – so I just stayed to myself. And last summer, I had a horrible mission to prepare for… I’ve just been dealing with a lot pretty much… my entire life.” The last bit is muttered because he doesn’t want Dudley to take offense, even though it’s absolutely true. He clears his throat. “Obviously, you – didn’t really know, anything really about what I went through, so I get it. It’s just I couldn’t really deal with anything else.”
Dudley nods. “I wasn’t expecting anything, really. I just I hope that someday maybe we could be friends?”
Harry hesitates, “I won’t say it’s not possible. Just not today.” He looks down at the present, “Although thank you for this. I appreciate it.”
“Maybe you should open it, Harry,” Sirius suggests and with a nod form Dudley, he does.
Inside is a gaming console and a couple of video games that Harry had wished that he could’ve played when he was younger. He’d been so jealous of Dudley having the freedom to play games all of the time (part of the reason that Sirius had opted to work the technology so Harry could play at least a couple of games).
“Thanks, this is great,” Harry smiles, genuinely. “I only just started my collection of video games, so it’s nice to have some different ones to teach Sirius and George to play.”
Dudley wrinkles his nose a bit, “I thought Sirius was the name of your godfather?”
“He is,” Harry says, tilting his head to indicate the man sitting beside him.
“But he … died?”
“I did, but it – er – didn’t stick,” Sirius says. “It’s complicated. I still don’t understand it myself. Just happy to be back with my godson. Finally getting to celebrate a birthday with him.” He coughs, “And -er – it’s nice of you to call by.”
“Yeah, well – er – happy birthday again, glad you like the gift and I – er – hope that we’ll get together sometime.”
Harry nods, slightly. “I’ll send you a postcard.”
Dudley nods and stands, looking uncertain.
“I’ll see you out,” Sirius offers.
“Bye, Harry.”
“Bye, Dudley.”
Dudley and Sirius disappear, leaving Harry with George, who asks, “You alright?”
“Yeah, I just – it’s difficult. We could’ve been like brothers, you know? We could’ve been close and yet…”
George nods, “You two could have been like Fred and I – being so close in age and all.”
“Yeah,” Harry nods. He’s still uncertain about his feelings towards Dudley and everything, but George could never really understand since he’d never been at odds with his family so consistently the way Harry or Sirius had been.
“Why don’t you go finish setting up?” Sirius asks, reentering the kitchen. He leaves out the subtle, while I talk to Harry, but they all pick it up.
George gives him a kiss and leaves the kitchen.
“I know it can’t be easy, kid,” Sirius starts.
“It never is,” Harry retorts. “Nothing in my life is.”
“It’s going to get better, kid,” Sirius assures him, “But in the meantime, that can’t have been easy and if you want to talk about it…”
Harry shrugs, “It’s nice that he wants to thank me and apologize. Really, it is. It’s just that I’m finally free and all it does is make me realize that we have been friends/brothers whatever and they took that away from me, and no matter how you slice it – whether you blame them for his actions or him for his own actions – all of those awful things he did to me still happened. I can’t just say ‘oh, yeah, it’s okay’ because it isn’t…it can’t be, not really.”
“That’s okay, Harry – it’s okay not to forgive him because he’s nice once.”
“But shouldn’t I accept it and move on? Like all of the other times I just let things go?”
“That’s entirely up to you, kid, but it’s also okay to not to. You don’t have to hold onto it, you just don’t have to forgive or absolve him either.” Sirius pauses, and sighs. “When you told me about Regulus, I thought that it meant that he was a good person, but then I remembered all of the awful things he did as one of the budding Death Eaters, the way he’d attack my friends (not me) and muggleborns, the pureblood nonsense he spewed, and I realized one good deed doesn’t erase all of the hurt he caused or the issues between us. He died and he tried to help (even though it epically failed), which shows that he could have redeemed himself, but he didn’t. Not to me. Dudley has a golden opportunity and honestly, I think he’s on the path, but that path doesn’t have to involve you, just like Regulus’ path didn’t involve me.”
Harry nods, “But if I did forgive him…would you be disappointed? Think I’m soft or something?”
“Of course not, kid. I think it’s just a sign that you have a good heart and there’s nothing wrong with that,” Sirius smiles at him. “It’s part of who you are and honestly, I love it. On the other hand, you don’t have to make that decision today. Maybe someday, but today is your birthday and you deserve to enjoy it, not think about your cousin or your past or anything sad.”
“Yeah,” Harry says, still lost in his thoughts.
“Come on, we’ve got some time, why don’t we play fetch?” Sirius suggests. He knows how much Harry loves it, even if Sirius isn’t a big fan. He often uses it to cheer Harry up. “Special present for the birthday boy?”
Harry laughs, “Game on.”