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It started with trails of scabs down her spine. They were small and Alicent could hardly see them the few times she dared look at her body in the mirror as she exited the shower. She at first thought that she started scratching herself in her sleep the same way she picked at herself during the day. But slowly they grew into large patches of broken skin, risen and painful. Like something was breaking through. Alicent tried hiding it more and more with bandages and thick sweaters. She was glad for once her parents forced her to dress modestly. For what would her mother think? What would her father think?
‘Wonderful, something else wrong with you.’ He would say looking at her with a mixture of pity and disgust. Alicent shivered at the very thought.
She was never good enough for him. No matter how prettily she smiled. No matter how many photos she posed for on the campaign trail. No matter how hard she prayed during his sermons. Her father always looked as though he was contemplating how much she was worth, calculating her virtues and flaws to see how much she mattered to him that day.
Today, Alicent felt she was utterly worthless. The raised flesh of her back bled through the cloth bandages she had been using to cover the expanding wound. It felt hot. Hotter than any fever she had and almost too hot to touch. She bit back a scream as she tried to reach up into her bathroom medicine cabinet for a new pack of bandages Then she felt it erupt as she let out a blood-curtling scream and passed out on the cold floor.
When she finally came to the first thing she saw were white bird feathers littered everywhere, speckled with a deep ruby color. It took her a second for her hazy vision to clear and realize those weren’t colored that way but stained with blood. Her blood. The scorching pain on her backside was gone only replaced with a faint soreness and as she tried to sit up, she felt a strange movement there. Alicent was moving something in her back, connected to her. What was that? Alicent clawed her shaky limbs back up towards her bathroom sink to see herself in the mirror that hung there. And to her shock and horror, she saw herself with two broad angelic wings half covered in blood protruding from her back. She bit back another horrified cry as she heard footsteps bounding up the stars.
Alicent couldn’t even react to that information and stood frozen staring at herself. Was this a dream? Was it a nightmare? God, what would her father think of her now? A wail coming from the door of the bathroom shook her from her trance as her mother stared at her, wide-eyed.
“No! No. No. No. No.” Her mother repeated over and over looking at her. “You can’t be one of them. You can’t!”
The ‘them’ her mother referred to of course were mutants. Freaks. Abominations to God as her father often preached and campaigned every year. Alicent hadn’t yet realized that was what she was. She had been too startled by her own reflection to even think about the why or how. But now she knew and truly understood her mother’s horror. In Otto’s calculations, she was nothing now. Useless. An affront to all he stood for and dangerous. Oh so dangerous to all his plans and desire for power.
—
In all her life, Alicent had never seen her mother go against her father in anything. No matter how cruel or cold he got, her mother took it all with a smile. But as she tucked Alicent’s frail and drugged body from the hospital in the middle of the night just before her transfer ‘The Friends of Humanity' testing lab, she realized her mother was not as compliant and submissive as she had previously believed.
They drove all night and Alicent couldn’t work up the courage to ask where they were going because where could they go? Otto Hightower was one of the most powerful political figures in the country and even if she no longer had any use to him, her mother still did. She pressed herself as close to the cold car window as she could and tucked her wings in close to her body. She trusted her mother to do this for her. To save her just this once.
—
Alicent woke up with the sun shining directing in her eyes and warming her pale face. She did her best to sit up in the small rental car and looked over to find her mother looking over at her with sorrow in her eyes. Alicent’s heart began to race as she wondered where her mother had taken her.
“Where are we?” She asked nervously. She fought to not pick at her boney hands or bite her chapped bottom lip. She stared daringly into her mother’s eyes for the first time in her life.
“A school. The Targaryen School for Gifted Children.” Her mother said pointing to the massive mansion outside the window. There were children littering the sprawling lawn. Some dozing off in the sunlight and others running and giggling with each other enjoying the fine weather. Alicent turned her attention back to her mother's face, confused. “Your father always spoke of this place. Cursed it as a place for the damned and dangerous. It’s for them. It’s for you.”
That last line she said gesturing towards the elephant in the room that was the large appendages coming from Alicent’s back. Her mother had brought her to Sodom. The doors of Hell. The place she belonged. She knew however powerful her father was there he wouldn’t try to take her from there. He is powerful but not powerful enough to fight the largest mutant organization in the country.
“What about you Mom?” She asked quietly. Her mother shook her head and gripped the steering wheel tightly.
“I’m going to go back home.” She said resigned. Alicent closed her eyes. Her mother was stuck with her father and there was no going back. There was no freedom for her. She still had value to him even if she disobeyed just this once, and it would look bad for her father if both his daughter and wife left him. “I have to just leave you here and pray or rather, hope you’ll be okay here.”
Alicent nodded and wished so badly for this all to just be a nightmare. A trick. But the twitch movement and weight of her wings behind her told her that wouldn’t be the case. She closed her eyes for a second and took a deep breath. Calming herself she reached for the car door handle pushed it open, and then took one shaky step out onto the gravel pavement.
—
Viserys was nothing like her father had preached. His office was a cluttered mess, with books and coffee cups on every surface and in the middle of the room was a diorama or some sort carved from stone. He wasn’t an evil devil worshiper with fangs for teeth. He was a kind aging man who had looked at her with kindness. And as Alicent sat barefoot on a chair across from him at his desk and he gave her a reassuring smile.
“It’s Valyria.” He said motioning to the table. Alicent felt relieved that he said something to relieve the tension now that their initial conversation is over. When Alicent had walked into the warm halls of the school barefoot in a hospital gown and ratty blanket a kind-eyed woman had immediately led her into Viserys’ office. Her wings, which were barely covered by the blanket were an explanation enough of why she was there.
“Oh.” She replied after realizing he was waiting for a response. Alicent hated this. She never knew what to say to people. “What is that?”
“Hell.” He said bluntly eyes lighting with excitement. Alicent flinched thinking back to her sermons. “Well, not actually. It’s where we get our fire from, a dimension beyond this one.”
“We?” She questioned as the aged doors of the office burst open to reveal the most beautiful girl Alicent had ever seen. The girl had the same white hair and purple eyes as the man across from her who looked at her with exasperation and fondness.
“Are you boring the new girl with tales of fire and brimstone?” The girl quipped finally making eye contact with Alicent. A smile spread across her face. It blinded her and made her heart start to race. “I’m Rhaenyra. Ignore the old man.”
“I’m Alicent,” Alicent replied quietly feeling flushed at the attention. “And I don’t mind the stories.”
“Well, I do and therefore I must rescue you from the lecture he is prone to fall into,” Rhaenyra said still smiling at her. She helped Alicent stand from her chair and took her arm in hers. Their bodies brushing against each other which only made Alicent’s heart race even faster. “I have to show you around and get you all settled in.”
Alicent followed Rhaenyra out of the room into the busy halls of the large school. It was nothing like the movies showed a school to look like and she had been homeschooled her whole life so she had nothing to compare it to. She looked around with wonder and subconsciously raised her free hand to her mouth until Rhaenyra interrupted her thoughts.
“I think wings fall on the cooler side of mutant abilities.” She mused and Alicent tried not to shiver. She was not used to the casual way of talking about mutant powers or Rhaenyra’s powerful gaze.
“They didn’t feel particularly cool coming out.” She said hollowly thinking back to the searing pain she had felt when they had emerged. Rhaenyra gave her an empathetic look and pulled her even closer to her. She was warm, unnaturally so. And while that felt so comforting to Alicent, she wondered what the girl’s mutant power was.
“I’m sorry about that.” Rhaenyra said with a distant look, “I know all mutant powers aren’t sunshine and rainbows. They can destroy, or cause pain, or even kill.”
“What kind of power do you have?” Alicent asked as they began to climb stairs towards the dormitory. She didn’t know where her bravery to ask even a simple question was coming from but she wanted to know all about the girl that was warming her up inside and out.
“The old man has gotten to you with his grand talks of Valyria.” Rhaenyra said as they moved past countless uniquely decorated dorm room doors. “It’s fire. We call on dragon spirits from an alternate dimension of a place called Valyria. They give us fire and live through us. There’s a lot of other stuff and it’s all very convoluted but basically we summon fire. My whole family does.”
Alicent looked at her blankly. How was any of this possible? She thought of her wings on her back and shrugged those thoughts away. Anything was possible obviously and she was evidence of that.
“Here we are,” Rhaenyra said as they approved a door that was heavily decorated with dragon insignia.
“We?” Alicent questioned. Rhaenyra gave her a grin and opened the door to reveal a room with two beds.
“You get the left side, of course. I haven’t had a roommate since my cousin Laena left so it’s all yours.” She said finally releasing Alicent from her warm grip. Alicent looked around the room feeling free for the first time in forever. She had a room that she could decorate with a girl, a possible friend, who would talk to her about things other than religion and virtue. About things other than what her parents deemed appropriate. She felt as though she could weep.
“I’ve been blabbering on when you’re probably ready to drop dead,” Rhaenyra said with an understanding expression. “I changed the sheets and I have some clothes you can borrow for now.”
Alicent didn’t know what to say and instead of saying anything, she gave a single nod. Rhaenyra pulled a pair of sweats from her dresser and handed them to her with a soft smile. She turned and headed straight towards the bathroom and as soon as the door closed behind her she let out a breath. As she looked at herself in the mirror she thought hard about how her life had changed so quickly. Her perfect red hair was wild for the first time in years. Large wings weighed heavily on her back but she felt so free, so safe, in this place with these people her father hated so much.
She quietly discarded the hospital uniform and the thin blankets and put on the sweatpants and tank top that Rhaenyra had provided for with her. The sweatshirt wouldn’t fit her for obvious reasons but she felt happy to get out of the thin dress the nurses had given her. When she finally left the bathroom, the room was dark and Rhaenyra was gone. Alicent felt bad but also relieved. She didn’t think she had it in her to be a real person and follow a conversation. She walked sleepy to the bed and closed her eyes. She slept peacefully for the first time since her wings had burst from her body. She wrapped them around her cold body and as she drifted away.
—
“A demon living in my very home. That’s why when I am your senator I will fight to make mutant testing and registration mandatory for all in this country.” Hearing her father’s words Alicent grew pale and her breathing stilled.
Rhaenyra and her had been returning from ability training when they walked past the student lounge where their fellow teens stood huddled around the television. Her father’s voice had sent a shiver down her spine. How could she have forgotten about him so quickly? How did she forget how he would twist this, twist her very existence to suit his needs. They stood in the archway until the senatorial debate went to commercial. Rhaenyra shot her a quick glance before playfully snatching the remote from the coffee table.
“Let’s watch something else guys.” Rhaenyra said smiling. The kids standing in the room burnt Alicent with their gazes. Some pitying. Some calculating. She thought about how if her abilities had remained dormant she would be there with her father right now as he called for their oppression. She would be standing smiling and waving as he spoke of them like criminals and demons. It made her feel sick.
Alicent ran back out of the room and outside onto the massive lawn attempting to take large breaths but unable to get anything in. Her heart was pounding and the cold winter air did nothing to cool down her red face. What was happening to her? Her wings tensed behind her as her vision began to swirl. Rhaenyra then came running out behind her and gripped her shoulders.
“Alicent.” She said voice full of concern. Alicent closed her eyes. Rhaenyra was the best person she had ever met her in whole life and a month ago she would have grinned as her father wished death upon her whole family. Upon this whole place which was now the home, she had always wished.
“Alicent!” Rhaenyra yelled this time her grip growing harder and shaking her a bit. “Open your eyes and breath.”
Alicent tried to take deep breaths and block out her anxious spiraling thoughts. She instead thought about her long walks with Rhaenyra, arm in arm or hand in hand. She thought about how it felt to fly for the first time and how Rhaenyra had hugged her so hard when she finally landed on the ground. She thought of late nights spent cuddled in Rhaenyra’s bed as she cried. And she finally was able to inhale and exhale.
Rhaenyra released her grip on her shoulders and embraced her tightly, her neverending heat warming Alicents cold skin. “I got you okay? You’re okay.”
“I’m just so…” Alicent says but can’t find the words. What is she? Ashamed, bitter, angry. But angry at who? Yes, her father for not loving her as a real father should. Not like how Viserys loves and dotes on Rhaenyra. And yes her mother for never protecting her and for marrying a man like her father in the first place. But also angry at herself for never even thinking about anyone but herself. For never thinking about what her father’s words meant and how they affected other people. She had pitied herself for her role as her father’s doll and never spared a thought about the horrors he wanted to spread to others.
“Shh.” Rhaenyra soothed her and pulled away from the hug to look into her tear-filled eyes. “Alicent, you are not him. You’re nothing like him and no one here will judge you because of your father.”
“Yes they will.” Alicent says quietly as Rhaenyra raises a hand to stroke her face. Their eyes bore into one anothers and Alicent wanted to stay here, just with Rhaenyra, forever.
“I won’t let them.” Rhaenyra said words full of steel. Alicent wondered if she felt this between them. A sting tied connecting them from the moment they locked eyes in her father’s office. She didn’t have to wonder long because Rhaenyra surprised her by closing the space between them and kissing her on the mouth.
She had always thought of kissing as a quick chaste thing. The brief touch of lips. This was nothing like that. Rhaenyra kissed her with an intensity and heat she had never felt before that spread throughout her body. A hand gripped her hair to bring their bodies somehow even closer and when she opened her mouth to let out a small sound, Rhaenyra’s tongue skillfully entered her mouth. This coaxed a moan from Alicent and the filthiness and pleasure of it drove her crazy. She moved her hand from her sides to grip Rhaenyra’s waist and cling to her. Rhaenyra smiled against her mouth and plunged deeper into her mouth. Alicent felt like she was on fire and her mind emptied completely. She didn’t know how long they kissed before Rhaenyra pulled away.
“I wasn’t planning on doing that.” She said with a shy smile that Alicent didn’t know was possible from her. She still felt tingly all over and leaned in to give Rhaenyra a small kiss on the cheek.
“I’m glad you did.” She replied and pressed her head against Rhaenyra’s.
“I won’t let anything happen to you. No matter what.” Rhaenyra said. Alicent wished she could explain that it was not her Father she was scared of but herself. How easily she would have gone along with whatever he said. How a small part of her will always yearn for his praise. His approval. Before Rhaenyra, before her wings, she would have done anything he said and that terrified her. But she knew now that the love she was so desperate to receive from her parents was never going to happen. In the month she had known Rhaenyra she had felt more love than she had from them her whole life and it felt amazing.
“I know.” She replied and drew Rhaenyra in for another embrace. They stayed like that for a few minutes before making their way back to the mansion hand and hand. Alicent would have to face her father and the world someday. But today she just wanted to feel the warmth of her and in Rhaenyras in this new place she called home.