Chapter Text
Robin stood in front of the mirror and her tired face was staring right back at her. She was tired. All thanks to her family. Last night wasn’t easy as at the end of it, everybody was yelling. Her mum, her dad, even the neighbours who came to complain at some point. The situation with her parents seemed to be getting worse now and Robin couldn’t even tell why. Maybe it was because her parents slowly started realising that she in fact would not grow out of it. And they were stuck with her the way she was. That she would never be normal or the equivalent of what they’d consider normal.
Robin wondered if she should have changed out of the current colourful shirt she was wearing and wear a more inconspicuous, quieter one. She held up the other contender, but then threw it back on the bed as she didn’t feel like hiding today. She wouldn’t make her bed. Like the day before and the day before that. Sometimes she’d straighten out the duvet, but there was no point in making the bed when she was going to lay in it again in the evening, right?
She slowly crept into the kitchen.
‘Hey,” she croaked as she saw her parents.
Robin always found it incredibly difficult to talk to her parents after a fight. They were never consistent at how they treated her afterwards. Sometimes they’d still be mad, but more often than not, they would pretend that everything was fine and that they were already over all the horrible things they’ve said to Robin. And Robin would still feel the horrible resentment, because apparently, being on the giving end of emotional abuse was easier than being on the receiving end.
Well, talking to her parents anytime, especially recently, was quite difficult either way. She quickly assessed the situation. Her father was at the kitchen table, doing his crossword for the day, crumbs and seeds from his toast everywhere. His black coffee was coagulated all over his plain white mug, which made Robin gag quietly. Her mother already drank her coffee and based on the smell, she already had her cigarette and was currently lighting up another. She just stood at the kitchen cabinet, watching Robin with a critical eye. Specifically her shirt. Robin assumed that she’d say something like ‘Oh look, Richard, I didn’t know we were at the Bahamas’ but instead she just took a long drag out of her cigarette and gestured Robin to make herself some breakfast (as quickly and efficiently as possible) and to sit down.
Robin clumsily grabbed a bowl, some cornflakes and some milk, dripping some of it on the kitchen counter and earning a tut from her mother as she wiped it clean quickly with a spare cloth.
“Now you need to wash it though, otherwise it will just stink,” her mother scoffed, gesturing towards the rag, her tone biting Robin.
She wrung out the cloudy liquid, barely able to bring herself to look at it as it mixed with the stale smell of the rag and left weird residue on her fingers. It almost made Robin gag again and she quickly wiped her hands on a spare towel once she washed them with some washing up liquid and shivered, painfully suppressing an urge to flap the sensation off her hands. She then finally took the bowl with now nearly soggy cornflakes (third gag that day) and ate them. They were stale, but Robin didn’t mind. It seemed to be a calm and okay morning.
“What is it today, got band or work today?” her father asked, not even raising his eyes from the crossword. This was also a rather new development. Her parents constantly making sure they knew where she was. Robin didn’t even know if it was influenced by what was happening in Hawkins, especially since they took very little interest after Starcourt burned down while she was at work there, but she still found it odd. Like it was coming from a controlling place rather than a place of worry.
“Band today and working tomorrow,” Robin replied quietly, shovelling the cornflakes, checking the clock as it was slowly approaching to 6:30. She had no idea where all this time went, but sighed either way and finished her cornflakes. She washed the bowl and then stared at the other dishes for a second, knowing that not washing them would cause unwarranted comments, so she quickly did, without any accidents, big or small. This way, her parents were actually quiet as Robin left the kitchen again.
Robin ran back to her room, checking her bag again. One of her textbooks was missing, but she had absolutely no idea where it was. Maybe her locker? Did someone borrow it? The cornflakes weren’t really sitting well in her stomach after wolfing the whole bowl in record time. Her tummy rumbled and Robin decided to briefly lie down in her bed, just to give it a little rest. She spun one of her rings around with her thumb, biting her tongue while staring up at the ceiling and all the thoughts started flooding in. Maybe she really was the problem.
6:45. Shit, shit, shit. She quickly got up, grabbed her bag and raced down the hallway. She could see her mother taking a breath to say something.
“I’ll see you later,” Robin said quickly, bolting out of the door and then breathing out as she saw Steve already waiting outside in his car. She walked towards him, waving and making her smile slightly more cheerful as she opened the car door and dropped into the car seat.
“Morning,” Steve said, his voice chipper but Robin could already feel his eyes boring into her as they did every morning. Especially since the situation with her parents was getting more intense by the day.
“Morning,” she said back, throwing her bag down next to her legs.
“You look tired,” he commented matter-of-factly, leaning his elbow against the open window, throwing a glance at Robin’s house.
“I am. Only got to bed at 2am,” she retorted, her eyebrows raising and her eyes widening to highlight the fact.
“And not by choice. They both decided that me not saying anything during dinner was a prompt for them to start lecturing me on everything I’ve done since I was born,” Robin explained, fiddling with her rings.
Steve couldn’t help but scoff. He took a breath, about to say something. Something that Robin has definitely heard a few times before. About needing to do something, about how awful they were treating her and she did not deserve this and then going on a tirade about how they could resolve this together if Robin didn’t decide to just sit tight and take it. Robin just gave him a knowing look and they both silently agreed that today wasn’t a day to discuss this and Steve just started the car instead.
The majority of the drive was silent. Joy Division played quietly through the car radio and Robin did occasionally point out something on the way and recognised a person or two, but other than that, she just seemed to be lost in her own world.
“I still wonder…what did I do for them to hate me this much,” she pondered quietly, her eyes fixated on the road in front of them.
“Robin, first of all, I’m sure they don’t hate you,” Steve emphasised, raising his index finger off the steering wheel and giving Robin a brief look to see if he could go on.
“Like sure, we can see that some shit is going on and frankly, I hate it. But there has to be a reason,” he then added, knowing full well that they’ve had this conversation before.
“And the reason is?” Robin said back, her voice snappy and annoyed that neither of them understood.
“I don’t know, but… we’ll find out, okay?” Steve looked at her again, trying to be comforting, but was only met with silence.
“Oh, look, Foley’s is doing breakfasts now as well,” Robin said suddenly, her voice slightly more cheerful, pointing her finger at the diner they were passing.
“Oh yeah,” Steve bent down a little to sneak in a look as they drove past, deciding that this was a good cue to move away from the topic. Robin was really good at distracting herself when she needed it.
When Steve dropped her off at school, she already looked a lot better than when she sat down in his car, but he still worried. He wished that they’d worked today, so that he could offer something to make her day a little easier. He then shook his head and drove off to have breakfast first and then wait until Family Video opened.
———
Overall, school was rather uneventful. Robin spent most of her classes either being really focused and actually paying attention or being completely distracted and spaced out, there was nothing in-between. During her lunch break, she found herself sitting alone, but was briefly joined by Dustin, who was just passing through the canteen on a search for someone from his D&D group. He set down his tray and kneeled on the bench right next to her.
“Hey, I’m really sorry for earlier, I literally didn’t see you there,” he said, taking a bite out of his sandwich on the go, but his apology seemed sincere.
“Huh?” Robin asked, furrowing her brows and chewing on her soggy unidentifiable pieces of protein in gravy.
“Earlier in the hallway. I was told later that I flat out ignored you as you walked past,” Dustin clarified.
“Oh, right, um, all forgiven because I literally didn’t see you either,” Robin said, forcing a little laugh.
“Great, because it never happened,” Dustin pointed out, doing the ‘I’m watching you' gesture and Robin did it right back as he picked up the tray and ran off. Robin laughed to herself, at least she wasn’t the only one with their head in the clouds today.
Just as she was almost finished, she caught a glimpse of Nancy standing near the entrance and debated whether she should go see her. They didn’t interact with each other at school much since they were trying to keep their relationship under as many wraps as possible. Rumours could spread very fast and neither of them really needed it on their plate at the moment. Robin however felt that she needed to tell Nancy what was going on. Especially since Nancy always had very good insights and helped Robin feel like less of a failure, since she was able to point out what behaviour caused the issue and whether it was a misunderstanding or if Robin was the one who made a mistake.
Nancy gave her a bright smile as Robin approached her with her tray and emptied the plastic plate into the trash can.
“Hey” Robin beamed, the first time she smiled this wide on that day.
Nancy leaned against the wall.
“Hi,” she replied, also smiling, but she could already see that Robin was dying to tell her something, “What happened?”
“We had a fight again last night,” Robin rubbed her fingers against the hem of her shirt.
“Again?” Nancy sighed, her voice full of worry and care. Robin leaned back against the wall, her head thumping against it.
“I know what you’re gonna say - ‘it seems to be getting worse,’” Robin put on a little mocking voice.
“Sorry, I know. And I don’t wanna hear it again, because it’s all I can think about,” she apologised immediately, her mind racing and wishing that Nancy would say something that would stop it.
“I- wasn’t going to say it, but I did notice it,” Nancy said quietly. “I can help you look into it, but I would also just want you safe and-“
“I am safe,” Robin protested, absolutely meaning it. She did feel safe at home. She did not feel like she was in danger. And part of her was unsure whether she was just delusional or if she could genuinely trust her judgement, but off the top of her head, she could find so many people who, according to her, definitely had it worse.
“I’m fine,” she repeated again to break the silence and to stop Nancy’s eyes from piercing through her soul.
“You know my mum wouldn’t-“ Nancy suggested and Robin winced. She’s only met Nancy’s mum twice, both times quite briefly, and both times made her felt the exact same type of pain. Or was it grief? For something that Nancy had available to her while growing up and she didn’t? Was Robin jealous?
“I know. I’ll let you know if I do need something, okay?” Robin said, looking around and pulling Nancy behind the corner, earning a little yelp from her.
She put her hand on her cheek, heavy rings against Nancy’s soft skin. Robin took a deep breath, but she knew she had to be quick, because anybody could walk through that door any time.
“I’m okay, everything’s fine. I have both you and Steve and the party looking out for me,” she said ceremoniously, “for some unknown reason,” she muttered under her breath, “but everything’s okay. I’m communicating now, see? It’s not like before when I tried to keep everything to myself. I’m sharing. And I promise that I’ll let you know should something happen.” she said, her thumb tracing along Nancy’s cheekbone and then she planted a little kiss on Nancy’s lips and pulled away immediately, just in case.
Staying secret felt so hard sometimes.
“Anyway, I’ll talk to you later, okay?” Robin said, her fingers moving towards the hem of her shirt again as she was leaving her little comfort area and going back into the whirlwind of a school life.
“I know you’re busy tonight, but maybe we could do something, soon? At mine?” Nancy suggested again, just trying her best to make Robin stay at least one night. Just so that she could watch over her.
“Sure,” Robin gave her a weak smile and then held her hand briefly before running off.
Was she really telling them everything?