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Sera sat at the bar next to Iron Bull with a mug of ale in hand.
“So did you hear? Admiral Isabela is here visiting Skyhold for the week. She’s meeting with the Inquisitor and her advisors about helping the Inquisition on the seas.”
“Admiral who now?” asked Sera, crinkling her nose.
“Isabela. She was a companion of Hawke’s at the time of the Chantry explosion in Kirkwall, and from what I’ve heard, the two of them got very close. Very close.”
Krem joined them at the bar, taking a long swig from his own mug. “I heard there was a Dalish involved with them too,” he said with a grin.
Sera raised an eyebrow. “Like a threesome then?”
“Ignore him. He’s read one too many erotic novels while at camp,” said Iron Bull, patting him on the back and chuckling.
“Hey! I swear that’s what I heard!”
Sera licked her lips. “So she’s a sailor then?”
“She’s actually a pirate,” said a voice from the tavern’s entrance.
Sera turned and blushed furiously at the sight of the dark-skinned human in a low cut top, large red hat, and little else.
“Admiral Isabela at your service,” said the woman, taking Sera’s hand and kissing it.
“S…Sera,” replied the elf, face red-hot.
Isabela grinned and turned to the bartender. “Another round for everyone on me!” she shouted.
Cheers rang out throughout the tavern as the barmaids brought out more overflowing mugs of ale. Sera quickly downed the rest of her current mug to grab another courtesy of the pirate. Maryden, the bard, began to play louder as the group in the tavern drank more.
“So what do you all do here?” shouted Isabela over the music.
Krem casually flexed as he took another long drink from his mug. “I’m a member of the Bull’s Chargers. It’s a mercenary group hired by the Inquisition. We get called to do most of the really dangerous work out in the field.”
“Oooh sounds fascinating.” Isabela winked his direction then looked at Iron Bull. “And let me guess, you’re the Bull?”
Iron Bull smirked. “You’ve got it. Iron Bull, head of the Bull’s Chargers and companion of our lady Inquisitor here.” He patted Sera on the back.
“Inquis—what the—”
Isabela raised an eyebrow and leaned forward. “The Inquisitor, eh? Where’s your vallaslin? I always heard the Inquisitor was a Dalish.”
Sera crossed her arms. “Why’s the Inquisitor gotta be Dalish? Am I not good enough?”
“Well aren’t you cheeky. By the way, I’ve already met the Inquisitor, darling.”
Sera’s ears burned in embarrassment. “That wasn’t my idea. It was all him!”
Iron Bull raised his hands in surrender as Isabela chuckled. “I appreciate the effort. So what is your job here, sweet thing?”
Sera grinned. “My name is Sera. I’m also a personal companion to the Inquisitor and a Friend of Red Jenny.”
“The Friends of Red Jenny? Now there’s a wild bunch. Only a few of them in Kirkwall, but they never failed to keep the Hightown snobs on their toes.”
“That’s what we do best.” Sera finished off her mug. “You all keep chatting and whatnot. I’ll be right back.” She went over to Maryden. “Here’s a sovereign if you play my song,” she whispered, sliding the gold piece into the woman’s hand.
“Trying to impress someone?” teased the bard.
“C’mon. Just do it!” Sera left the coin then scurried off to her room to listen from afar.
Maryden sighed. “Sera was never an agreeable girl. Her tongue tells tales of rebellion...”
Once the song had finished, Sera came back down from her room to the bar where Isabela still sat, now joined by more of the Chargers.
“And so I told Hawke that if she wanted me to try that, she’d have to go to the market and buy it herself!”
The group roared with laughter and downed more ale.
Sera stood off to the side chuckling. “Hey, that sounded pretty funny!” she blurted. “Sorry I missed most of it.”
Isabela smiled and reached her hand to Sera. “I liked your song, dear. So you’re not the quietest girl, eh?” she asked.
Sera flushed red from her chest to the tips of her ears. “Well…I…shit no! I like my ladies to know when they’ve done good by me!”
“Mmm. That truly is the best way to do it.”
“So, is it true then?”
“Is what true?” asked Isabela.
“That you’ve been sailing around having a good ol’ time with Hawke and an elf?”
“You are graced with the presence of Admiral Isabela, and that is the question you choose to ask?”
Sera leaned forward and bit her lip. “Well, what can I say? I’m a bit of a shit.”
Isabela sighed then smiled. “Well, if you must know, on occasion, Merrill and Hawke both join me on my ship.” She took a drink. “Oh how I love when we can all get together like that. Merrill’s in Kirkwall doing work for the elves as usual in the Alienage. She’s done so much to help there, and it’s really gotten so much better,” she mused. “Hawke’s…somewhere else…busy coordinating with Varric about working with the Inquisition herself. She should be here before too long.” Isabela took another sip. “That Cassandra woman keeps staring me down like a piece of meat. I think she’s upset that I won’t mention Hawke around her. Either way, I do love a mean stare from a hard woman.”
“Yeah…”
Isabela tapped her nails against her mug and grinned into it as she drank. “But that’s not what you want to hear, is it? You want to hear all the filthiest stories.”
Sera blushed and fiddled with her fingers. “Well…I mean, we could head up to my room and…”
“You live in the tavern?” Isabela said with a chuckle. “My, oh my, we are alike. Let’s go up then.”
Sera made eye contact with Bull, who was sitting at the end of the bar grinning and mouthing “Good luck.”
“So who’d you hook up with first?” asked Sera. She lay sprawled out across the couch in her room.
Isabela put her arm around the elf. “My first time with Hawke was a few years before anything happened with Merrill. Hawke was so nervous to tell me when she started having feelings for Merrill, but little did she know, I had been feeling some things for Merrill too. It all happened so naturally after the awkward confessions.”
“Then it’s more than sex?”
“Much more. I love the two of them very much, and though we often travel different paths, I cherish the time we get together.”
Sera faked a gagging noise. “Ew gross. That’s some sappy shit. But it’s sex too, yeah?”
Isabela kissed Sera’s cheek. “Of course it is, darling. Do you have any special ladies or gentlemen in your life?”
Sera crossed her arms. “Ladies. Only ladies. But no. Been really busy with Inquisition shit and such.”
“That’s a shame. You seem like such a fun girl.”
Sera smiled and leaned forward. “So do you want to see how fun I can get, Admiral Isabela?”
Isabela touched the side of Sera’s face. “As tempting as that is, I have to turn down your offer. Hawke and Merrill are the only two lovers in my life now. They have been for quite some time.”
“Damn,” muttered Sera, lying back down on her couch. “I was hoping I was finally gonna get some action again. This Inquisition business’s got me drier than the fucking Hissing Wastes. You ever been out there? It’s the fucking worst. Inky dragged me there. It’s just sand, sand, and more sand.”
“I can’t say I’m familiar with it. I tend to prefer the seas,” replied Isabela. She took Sera’s hand. “You know…there’s one member of my crew you might really get along with well.”
Sera put her hands on her chin and began to grin. “Keep talking.”
“Her name’s Adaar. She’s almost seven feet tall and is made of pure muscle.”
“Almost seven feet tall?” questioned Sera, licking her lips.
“Yes…she’s a Vashoth…mage.”
Sera’s eyes widened. “She’s a Qunari? Fuck…I’ve gotta meet her! The mage thing is kind of iffy…but I can work with it. Where’s she at?”
Isabela smiled. “Well, you’ve gotten over your crush on me quite fast.”
Sera shrugged. “I have a thing for tall women. You’re pretty tall compared to me, but…” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Seven feet tall? Woof.”
Isabela laughed and lay down beside Sera. “Next time I come to Skyhold I’ll definitely make sure to bring Adaar along.”
“You’d better. I’m drying up over here,” replied Sera, punching Isabela lightly in the shoulder. “You sure we can’t have a quick shag? It’d be like a service to the Inquisition or some shit. I’m sure Hawke and Merrill would understand.”
Isabela squeezed Sera’s hand. “You know the answer to that, love. But how about a dirty tale about your spymaster?”
Sera’s eyes widened. “Leliana? She scares the shit out of me. Can’t imagine her doing anything dirty.”
Isabela cackled with laughter. “Are you serious? I haven’t seen her in years, but that surprises me. She and Mahariel were quite fun…and creative.”
“You’ve fucked Leliana? And in a threesome with the Hero of Ferelden?” Sera groaned. “Bet that was scary. A bit jealous too though…damn you have a good life.”
“I’ve just had more life experience, dear. By the time you’re my age, you’ll have just as many stories to tell.”
“Fine,” Sera grunted. She sat up. “Well if we’re not gonna fuck, do you want to go play a prank on Cassandra?”
Isabela grinned. “I have just the idea.”
Cassandra entered her room to find a note resting upon her bed with her name scrawled on the envelope. She took out a small knife and slid it across.
Dear Cassandra,
This is Hawke. Like Jezebel Hawke. I’ve been hiding from you in Kirkwall because your big strong muscles make me feel things I never wanted you to know about. Sorry about not chatting you up sooner. But I’ve finally got the courage and shit to talk to you. So yeah. Let’s get a drink. Talk about the mage rebellion? That was some nasty shit, right?
Love,
Jazebel Jezebel Hawke
PS: Isabela likes the way your armor makes your arse look.
PPS: Gotcha!!!!
Cassandra crumbled the letter and threw it to the ground. “Sera!” she shouted. “You’d better pray to the Maker tonight! This is not funny!” She heard snickering and opened her door to find Sera and Isabela crouched outside. She straightened her back. “Isabela? I am sorry you had to hear me snap like that. But what are you doing associating with her?”
Isabela stood, lifting Sera by the hand as well. “We’re just having a bit of fun. Hope we didn’t offend you too much.”
“Don’t apologize for pranks!” whispered Sera.
“Just don’t let it happen again. Also, if you are really wanting to work with the Inquisition, it is necessary that you give us Hawke’s location. I have been over this with Varric many times, but I’m hoping maybe you will actually—”
“You’ll have to wait for her to come to you, dear.” Isabela grinned and took Sera’s hand. “Also, Sera wrote most of that letter but I wrote the last part. Your armor does make your rear look phenomenal.”
Cassandra blushed as the two ran off. “By the Maker, the nerve of those two…”
Sera and Isabela ran back into the tavern, breathing heavily.
“That was so much fun!” shouted Isabela. “It’s been so long since I’ve done anything like that!”
Sera laughed. “I know! It’s good, right?!”
Iron Bull looked at Sera from the other side of the tavern and gave her a thumbs up.
“Oh shit, I think they think we—” Sera whispered, face feeling hot.
Isabela kissed her cheek. “Let’s do it again soon. And I’m sure Adaar would be happy to join us next time.”