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It would be so easy, I thought, staring down at the river below. One little jump off this bridge. If I let myself get swept away by that rushing current, it would all be over in merely a moment.
Yet… as tempting as it is, I can’t quite seem to do it. What is it that is making me hesitate? Hard as I try, I can’t find a single reason not to do it… only millions to do it.
From the very beginning, there was only ever pain. Raised by a single mother who couldn’t keep a job for more than a week… Abducted by Collectors because I was a mix of creatures that was unheard of… Being rescued seemed like a miracle, but then led to a whole new world of pain…
Halfbreeds never have it easy… forever trapped between the two races and knowing that nothing that you do will ever make either side accept you. Nothing I do will ever make them accept me… nothing will ever make them see me as anything but a monster… an abomination.
As I watched the rushing water of the river, I heard footsteps behind me. There's no reason to look… it doesn’t matter who it is.
“What are you waiting for?” A deep, smooth voice spoke from behind me. There's a hint of amusement amongst his serious tone. “It’s what you want, isn't it?”
What I wanted? Yes, I supposed it was. An end to everything… an end to my suffering. And yet… I can’t quite bring myself to make the jump.
“If you're going to jump, then just do it.” It almost felt like he was taunting me. What did that even matter at this point anyway? “Or do you hesitate because it’s not what you really want?”
Slowly I look back over my shoulder at the man. He's far from normal. Dressed in a rather fine suit… hair cut perfectly in a way that practically screams yakuza. The man is clearly part werewolf, but his scent gives him away as a mixed-blood. His actual face is disguised… the man is partially transformed, making him look like an anthropomorphized wolf.
Half-breeds struggle with transformations… Even purebloods struggled with partial transformations. This man here was a very powerful person. Everything about him was a red flag to warn me to stay away… but my gut instincts told me otherwise.
“You want things to change… you want your suffering to end…” The corner of his mouth curves upward. “Humans can be such horrid creatures… but then again, so can nonhumans. One side always looks at the other as the villain… but what they fail to see is that there is no evil… there is no good… There is merely perspective.”
The man took a step toward me. “The others see you as their villain… the horrible beast that must be slain… But what of you? Your view is much different. From your perspective, they're the villains and you’re merely the damsel in distress waiting for her novel hero.”
Carefully I turned around to face him fully. The half-breed's words were far too close to reality for it to be just someone’s speculation. The only one who could ever know the suffering of a mixed-blood is another mixed blood. Thinking that someone who seemed as powerful as him might have gone through this very same situation felt insane… but it was the only answer that made any sense.
The man took a step toward me. “I am Elliran and I lead a very special group that operates out of Tokyo.” The half-wolf's eyes trail over my body. It's not like I haven’t had people checking me out or anything, but this gaze was far different. He's sizing me up, gauging whatever it is that he wanted to know of me. “Our goal is… Well, it’s a grand one that is deeply desired by our fellow nonhumans… and even more so by everyone like you and I.”
It doesn’t take a genius to figure it out. What nonhumans want the most is to live peacefully among humans… and never have to worry about being mistreated. Both sides would be truly equal… and groups like the Collectors would cease to exist. It’s a grand vision for sure, but one that would probably always be out of reach.
Then again, if Elliran was even half as powerful as he appeared to be, it might just be possible.
“What are you-“
A call of my name pulled my attention from the wolf man. Before I had the chance to dodge him, my classmate had already grabbed me by the arms. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.” The young werewolf was a friend of mine… or rather, the closest thing that a halfbreed like me has ever had to a friend.
His eyes were filled with concern. With his stark white hair, his appearance had always reminded me of a seagull, not a canine. “Hirugami said you attacked Kawashima…” Hoshiumi’s grip on my wrist tightened. “What happened? I know you'd never hurt someone without a reason… it’s not like you.”
He always did tend to see the best in me… but that had only ever caused him trouble. Any time that he would protect me… any time that he would speak up for me, it turned everyone else against him. Who wants to be friends with someone who hangs around with a dirty little mutt? Even I have to admit that I would be hesitant if I were in his shoes.
What had happened with Kawashima… it felt like a dream. He liked to bully me, just like most of our middle school, but that itself was nothing out of the ordinary. I don’t even remember what it was that he’d said this time… all I could remember was that overwhelming anger that it caused. The rest felt like both a blur and slow motion.
Being a halfbreed, I had never actually shown any signs of my bloodlines… except for a single thing: my fangs. I couldn’t transform… I didn’t desire blood… I didn’t feel weak in the sun… my senses weren’t even half as amazing as any other shifter’s… I was little more than a human with sharpened teeth… Or so everyone had thought.
When my rage boiled over, my body changed. It took on an animalistic form unlike any other. Being half werefox, I recognized the main shape as a fox, but there was so much more to it. It was far too big to be just a normal werefox transformation… it was more like the size of a large dog. My fur had been blacker than midnight… massive, razor-sharp claws extended from my paws… and my fangs… grew several inches longer, turning them into vicious tusks that reminded me of a sabertooth tiger.
I'd only caught a mere glimpse of my reflection in the window, but those blood-red eyes terrified even me. The horrified screams of the witnesses to the incident will haunt my nightmares.
“Korai… I…” I’d never bothered him with how I’d felt, but after what he'd probably heard, I guess there was no point keeping it in anymore. “I can't take this anymore…” Slowly I pulled myself from his grip. “Being held by the Collectors felt like a nightmare… but this? This is hell… They were an evil I knew… one that I could handle! This? I’ve no idea what to expect. Collectors were always enemies and the Collected were always allies… but here, I can’t even begin to tell the difference! One second someone acts like an ally… and the next, it's like they're trying to kill me!”
Hoshiumi reached toward me. “It’s not that bad. You're not going to suffer here like you did back then.”
“You're wrong!” My eyes felt like they were burning. “You weren't there! You never are! You haven’t seen the things they do! Human or nonhuman… it doesn’t matter at all because… because both sides are… are villains…” Elliran's words echoed in my mind. “I’m sick of being pushed around like some worthless damsel in distress… waiting on some hero that will never come!” No hero would ever want to rescue a monster like me.
The werewolf looked down but said nothing. What was there to say? He was sorry? Apologies are nothing but empty words. No amount of apologizing could ever undo what happened today.
“There's always room in my organization for a mixed blood with fighting spirit,” Elliran said calmly. “Your power is rather incredible; with proper training, you could be a true force to be reckoned with.”
Hoshiumi’s head snapped upward, staring at the elder male. “No way.”
Elliran wasn’t the least bit fazed by the younger boy. “Consider it an opportunity to force this world anew. We can make that faraway grand dream into a beautiful reality.” The Yakuza man grinned widely, flashing a pair of gleaming fangs. “After all, birds of a feather should flock together, no?”
All logic is telling me no, telling me to stop. Hoshiumi grabbed at my hand, halting me from taking a step. “You can't…”
I smiled weakly. “Korai, nothing that he could ever do would be worse than what I’ve already been through.”
His grip faltered and I gently pushed it away. Elliran was offering me something that I would never be able to find if I stayed here. “It’s not goodbye forever… we'll meet again… someday.”
Two and a half years later…
A ball bounced across the court. High schoolers on either side of the net rushed to make their point. From my place at the top of the bleachers, a small male with white hair and seagull eyes could easily be seen. He seemed to be doing well for himself.
“Hey Foxy, quit gawking at the cute boys and shake that tail.” I rolled my eyes at my comrade’s voice through the earpiece. “Gotta make sure those Cs don’t get their hands on any of the unsuspecting Nons.”
“Yeah, yeah… I know… Just had to check on something,” I spoke into the hidden mic. Not yet, Korai. If I let you see me now, I'd only cause you trouble again. When we’re closer to our grand dream… that’s when we'll meet again.