Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It hurt.

It hurt a lot, but he didn't care. The loss of his arm was a small price to pay to defeat Muzan. He watched with bated breath as the giant form of a baby slowly disintegrated in the sun.

He wasn't sure what happened; one moment, he and Sanemi had felt that their attacks were no use, and that Muzan would successfully dig himself underground and save himself. Then, all of a sudden, he stopped moving and began to fade away.

He had a good idea of what did happen. Just moments earlier, Tanjiro had been swallowed whole as the Demon King shifted his appearance to that of a giant baby. He tried to pull Tanjiro out, but was forced back as he watched the last of that green and black Haori disappear into the flesh.

Tanjiro. Yes, it must have been Tanjiro. He was still fighting from within. But how? Was he even able to move? "You will have to ask him yourself," he thought to himself, forcing to believe that the boy was still alive.

Just a few days ago, he realized that he had grown very fond of the teenager, and since he never had an older sibling, Giyu felt that filling that void had become his calling. And that scared him. The Water Pillar had a history of losing the ones he loved, and he had silently promised to protect Tanjiro from harm. He would die before he would let anyone lay a hand on the red headed teenager. He had too much to live for.

"Protect Tanjiro," he had whispered to himself, "no matter the cost, protect the Kamado siblings. Do everything in your power to keep them together forever."  While he never told Tanjiro of the promise, he said it over and over again in his head throughout this entire battle. He would not back down.

Tanjiro. He thought again, trying to look for the slayer emerging from the ashes of the once Demon King. But, he was blocked as Kakushi rushed around him, attempting to aid him. He cursed under his breath. He knew he needed it. His vision was blurry and dark, the world was spinning, and the pain in his arm was causing his ears to ring. But, he didn't care. If he was dying, so be it. Just let Tanjiro be okay.

The black haired slayer began to struggle to stand up, having one thought on his mind. He needed to find him. He needed to ensure he was okay. He needed to know that he kept his promise. "No, Tomioka-san," one Kakushi said, waving their arms as they tried to keep him from standing up. "You mustn't move!"

Giyu didn't care if his wounds weren't healed properly. He would not rest until he knew Tanjiro was safe. "Where is Tanjiro?" He pleaded with wide eyes. "Is he alright?"

He continued to desperately look around as the Kakushi attempted to block him from standing up.

Then, it was as if someone had knocked all the air out of his lungs. He caught a glimpse of a scene he sincerely hoped he was misinterpreting.

A group of Kakushi were surrounding a kneeling figure, unmoving, limp, and lifeless. One look and Giyu knew; the earrings and spikey, untamed red hair was a dead giveaway.

"He's not breathing, and there's no pulse. Tanjiro." The statement was grouped with uncontrollable sobs from the one who had made the announcement.

No. No. No. No. Giyu felt like he was going to explode. Time stood still as he forced himself up, running towards the torn up figure of the boy he swore to protect.

"Tomioka-san, thank you."

The memory of Tanjiro's bright smile and bubbly personality flashed in Giyu's mind as he ran towards him, hoping, praying to any god that would hear him; please let the Kakushi be wrong. He has to still be alive.

But as he knelt down in front of him, he knew that they were right. All life signs were gone; Tanjiro was gone.

"Tanjiro," Giyu whispered, tears streaming out of his eyes uncontrollably. He placed his hand on Tanjiro's; it was still gripping his sword. Even in death, Tanjiro's fighting spirit lived on. Giyu's chest felt tight as he thought of Nezuko. She was going to be heartbroken. What if the medicine worked and she was human again?

"I've failed to protect you," he whispered, allowing sobs to erupt in between. "I always receive protection from others."

Giyu cursed himself. He had the chance to protect someone, and he failed. Instead, Tanjiro protected him. It wasn't right. He was just a kid.

"I'm sorry, Nezuko," he whispered, knowing the Kamado would find out soon. "I'm so sorry."

His head dropped as his sobs overtook his senses. This was the first time in a long time that he felt this way. After losing so many people, he had shut himself off, refusing to get close to anyone, for fear that he was a curse. But he felt it would be different with Tanjiro. That things would change.

He was wrong. And now he had to live with his actions.

Things began to spin even more. He wasn't sure if it was blood loss, exhaustion, or grief. Probably a mixture of all three. But, he did not want to leave. He knew Tanjiro's friends would be arriving soon, that his sister would be arriving soon, but he couldn't leave his side. He wanted to apologize to them all. To stay with them for as long as they needed.

"Onii-chan!"

His heart dropped. It was distant, but she was almost there. And she sounded different; human.

"Tomioka-san," one of the Kakushi whispered through sobs, "please, let us tend to your wounds," they placed a hand on his shoulder, Giyu's head still low as he slowly let the sobs out. He did not move, did not even acknowledge that someone spoke to him. The memories of Tanjiro flew through his mind; from the moment he met him, to just a few minutes ago. That bright smile, his empathy and kindness; Tanjiro had helped him in ways he could not explain.

"Onii-chan!"

The voice of his sister was now closer, and the Water Hashira knew that he would have to move and allow her to spend some final moments with her older brother. He backed away slowly, but not going far. It felt as if he was attached. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but something inside him told him to stay. As if staying would magically bring him back to life.

He watched with tears in his eyes as the younger Kamado fell to her knees, tears spilling out of her eyes as if they would never stop.

"I'm sorry," Giyu said in his head, unable to croak the words out. Nezuko let out a bone chilling scream that broke him to his core. "Why, why, why? Why couldn't I protect him?"

Nezuko put a shaky hand on her brother's cheek, trying to raise his head and take one last look at him. "This is your fault," Giyu silently cursed himself. He wanted to look away from the scene, but couldn't leave their side. "Why couldn't you do one thing? One thing, keep him alive. And you failed."

"No, no, no," Nezuko shouted over and over again, now trying to hug him as his body shook around like a doll. "I'm human! You worked so hard, and I couldn't wait to show you!"

Her grief is because of you. You failed.

"I'm sorry, Tanjiro," Nezuko cried out with her sobs, "You did this for me."

You could have saved him. You could have held on. You could have switched places.

"You did it," Nezuko was now whispering, her hand back on her brother's cold cheek, "I know everything you have done for the last few years was for me, and you did it."

And he doesn't get to experience it.

"Please, Onii-chan, please come back to me. I want to go home. I want to live as humans again. Please, won't you come back so we can do that?"

Giyu's eyes grew wide. She was in denial. This wasn't good. He's not coming back. He's gone. He wanted to speak to her, to try to comfort her, but he couldn't squeeze any words out. It was like his lungs were being crushed, slowly but surely, in the most agonizing way possible.

Nezuko continued to plead. "I can't do this without you! Please, come back! I need you!"

He won't. And it's my fault. I'm sorry, Nezuko…

"Please."

Silence.

Only the quiet sounds of breathing, with occasional sobs could be heard. "Please," Nezuko whispered after a few moments, as if willing him to come back to life with her pleas.

But, nothing happened. He's gone.

Suddenly, a commotion started to rise. "Tanjiro!" Two voices in unison, and they were coming this way.

The Water Breather could not take it any more. He could not sit and watch his friends grieve over his dead body either. He began to get up to walk away, but he felt heavy. He had no more strength in him.

"Nezuko! Is he okay?" Zenitsu shouted as the two friends approached.

Nezuko's eyes filled with tears as she made eye contact with him. Slowly, she shook her head.

Zenitsu's eyes grew wide as he approached, Inosuke not far behind him. The three of them knelt in front of the shell of what once was their best friend, comrade, and brother.

"Oi," Inosuke shouted, tears dripping out of his mask, "oi, wake up! This isn't funny, Monjiro!"

He was rapidly shaking the red head.

It's no use, Giyu watched as the trio desperately tried to wake him up, he's gone.

"Tanjiro," Zenitsu shouted through tears, jumping onto him so hard that Tanjiro's body was pushed onto the ground, face facing up.

The change in position caused Giyu's emotions to well up inside of him again. Tanjiro's pale, swollen face was now completely visible, breaking his heart even more. He was once so full of life, always smiling, always willing to talk, brighter than the sun. He didn't deserve to go out like this. His body was so broken, cut up and destroyed. How dare you taint this boy, Muzan. Nezuko, Inosuke, and Zenitsu all piled on top of him, allowing their emotions to get the best of them as the tears flowed down their cheeks.

You've done this. You allowed Muzan to do this.

Giyu didn't know how much time had passed. Was it seconds? Minutes? Even hours? Other things were happening, Kakushi were still fussing over his wounds, and he seemingly lost his awareness of his surroundings.

Am I dying?

It could be true. He was still losing blood and had certainly sustained internal injuries.

Maybe I deserve it. Maybe I can join Tanjiro.

Another shift. Giyu wasn't sure if he was hallucinating at this point, but it looked as if Tanjiro moved.

The group around him had silenced. Giyu forced himself to slide a little closer, staring straight into Tanjiro's face.

What?

The tumor on the right side of Tanjiro's face was shrinking. All four seemingly held their breath. What was going on?

Then, time froze. Giyu wasn't sure if he was hallucinating, or if this was reality. Or, maybe, he was passing into the afterlife and being greeted by him.

Tanjiro began to rise. "Huh? Tanjiro?" Inosuke said, confusion in his voice, but laced with excitement. "So you are okay?"

Then, Tanjiro's eyes opened.

Giyu's chest tightened. His eyes; those shining, kind, red orbs; were not normal. They were pink. And had cat-like slits.

Anything but this..

In an instant, Tanjiro's missing arm regenerated. Giyu's instinct kicked in immediately, and he lunged towards her, trying to catch her before the regenerated arm reached her. "Nezuko! Look out!"

But he was too late. Nezuko, who was situated right next to Tanjiro's left side, was thrown against a wall in a flash, knocking her out.

"Huh? Tanjiro? What are you doing? That's your sister, you idiot!" Zenitsu cried, confusion all over his face.

"Zenitsu, Inosuke," Giyu finally found his voice, "RUN!"

They didn't listen, and in an instant, chaos ensued.

The Water Pillar instantly jumped into action. What an awful turn of events. He would have to be the one, now? He had to kill Tanjiro? This was so cruel. They had already lost Tanjiro, so he needed to end him before he killed anyone.

"Why, Tanjiro?" More tears welled in his eyes. "Why do you have to become a demon?"

He ran for his sword, knowing that it was now his job to kill him. Why.. why Tanjiro of all people?

A hissing sound, and Tanjiro was suddenly using his arms to shelter himself. The sun! Of course, this would be over soon. Thank the gods, he would not have to behead him. Giyu wanted to mad dash for Nezuko and make sure she was okay. But he was frozen, watching as the skin of the once sweet boy began to disintegrate. He felt anger; Tanjiro deserves a burial, not this.

Goodbye, Tanjiro.

But he never faded away. The burning stopped. He hissed as he started to run towards his former comrade.

He has already conquered the sun.

What would they be able to do? Was he killable? Why, Tanjiro? Why couldn't you die a human?

Tanjiro's eyes were white and angry, drool dripped from his fang-lined mouth. He was like a wild animal. "Come on, control yourself, like your sister!"

He desperately prayed that Tanjiro would show signs of control, but instead, he was leaping towards a Kakushi, ready to kill. The black haired slayer knew he could not hesitate, and he had to protect those who were powerless. It might not be much, but it should weaken him..

He thrusted his sword through Tanjiro's chest, pushing him away and trying to pin him against the wall.

Using the same move that Tanjiro himself tried to use against Muzan.

Giyu cursed under his breath, the awful irony of the situation was making his stomach churn.

He hesitated for one moment, and it was a moment too long. Before he knew it, his face was met with Tanjiro's arm, and he was knocked down. Blood that Giyu didn't know he even had left spilled out of his mouth, and darkness continued to threaten his vision.

I can't do this anymore.

His sister. Sabito. Makomo. Shinobu. Muichiro. Genya. And, he was sure, there were more that he did not know about. Tanjiro.

Their faces flashed through his head. Was this his life flashing before his eyes? Would he meet his end at the hand of the boy he swore to protect?

"Oi, what are you doing! The Half and Half Haori guy is our ally!"

The teen who wore a boar head leapt into action after Giyu was knocked down. "How could you?" He shouted, ready to swing his blade on Tanjiro's neck. "I'll cut him down. I'll stop him! I'll-"

But he paused. Tears spilled out of the mask as he said, just barely above a whisper, "I can't follow through," he said, stopping when his sword had made contact with Tanjiro's skin. "It's no use, Tanjiro."

Another pause, and he lowered his head. He was accepting his death at the hands of his best friend.

"I can't do it."

Run, Inosuke. He's going to kill you... Giyu struggled and struggled to move. No, this had to be worse than the previous outcome. Why couldn't he have a proper death? Was Muzan to blame for this?

But he couldn't move. His legs felt like lead. Darkness was overtaking his senses. Yet another person he would watch die in front of him.

"Onii-chan!"

Nezuko… she's okay…when did she wake up?

Nezuko wrapped her arms around her demon brother, changing his attention and saving Inosuke's life. To Giyu's horror, however, he instantly sunk his teeth into her shoulder. Blood started to drip down from her shoulder, as well as her arms.

This felt all too familiar. He was reminded of meeting the Kamado siblings. Nezuko was going through her transformation, and was ready to bite down on Tanjiro. But she stopped herself in time. He was feeling deja vu like never before.

Stop, Tanjiro. It's your sister.

"I'm so sorry," she screamed, trying to drown out his unhuman growling. "I'm sorry I didn't understand for so long! I put everything on your shoulders."

She desperately tried to get to him, it was as if all of his pain and suffering were exploding over, and she just wanted him to understand that she was sorry. "Why is it always you who has to suffer?"

Tears streamed from her eyes as she embraced him as tightly as she could.

I have to help. Stand up, Giyu. Stop being useless.

"Why do kind people who struggle every day," Nezuko was still shouting, "get trampled over and over again?"

Listen to her, Tanjiro. Please.

"It's frustrating, but don't give in! It's almost over, so don't turn into a demon. Let's go home."

Home.

"GRAAAAHHHHHH!"

The ground shook. It was no use. He was too far gone.

Get up. Help Nezuko.

He couldn't move.

"NO, Tanjiro!" This time Zenitsu jumped on him from behind to embrace him, trying to bring him back. "It's Nezuko! She's human again! She'll die! Stop it! Didn't you hear her call you 'brother'?"

Please….

Another growl. Were they not getting through to him at all?

"KNOCK IT OFF!" It was Inosuke who was shouting, hitting him on the head. "Quit your screaming! Don't hurt Nezuko! This," he sobbed, "this isn't you! You're so nice! Go back to being Tanjiro! PLEASE!"

It only seemed to make it worse.

Tanjiro opened his mouth once again, this time releasing a scream so loud, it was the same power Muzan had used on them earlier. Shockwaves released into the air, and Giyu knew he was going to get hit.

Muzan… this is your fault.

He was flying through the air again. His body hit stone, blood dripping out of his mouth. He looked over; Nezuko was hanging onto her demon brother for dear life, but he looked like a wild animal. Tentacles were now growing out of his back; "Just like Muzan," he thought again.

Stand. Fight. Save anyone you can.

"Don't give in, onii-chan! Please!"

Get up. Save his friends. If Tanjiro were really here, he would thank you for saving them.

"Water breathing, fourth form, striking tide!"

He didn't know how he did it, but he was moving again.

He bit Nezuko. He's learned the taste of blood. There is no going back. You must kill him before he kills anyone else.

He understood what he had to do. No more moping, no more wishing. He had to do it. He had to end Tanjiro.

But… How would he do it? Sunlight and red blades won't work. Was there any way?

"Please, don't kill anyone!" Nezuko was pleading, still trying to raise her voice above his growls. Tanjiro's mouth was wide open, his eyes white with anger.

He's out of control, I can't stop him! He will kill us all!

An attack straight towards him. Another shockwave; Giyu braced himself for impact, knowing that his reaction speed was considerably lower than normal. However, somehow, he dodged.

"NEZUKO!" Zenitsu shouted from the ground. He could see it. Nezuko had tried to block the attack with her hand, and it was now covered in blood.

Stop hurting your sister, idiot! Can't you see it's her! Everything you've done, it's been for her! Stop hurting her!

Yet another attack. This one went wide, attacking Zenitsu and Inosuke, sending them flying around the water pillar as he wracked his brain for another move.

"Nezuko! Get away from him!" Zenitsu pleaded, reaching, trying in vain to get to Nezuko before it was too late. "Please... he'll kill you..."

"Ne…zu..ko..Tan..ji…ro.."

Both Zenitsu and Inosuke were sprawled on the ground, covered in blood and dirt. The continued to use every ounce of strength left to beg their friend to stop.

Shit, he's going to die! His body is destroyed! Tanjiro, you're going to kill your best friend! Your sister!

Inosuke was in bad shape. He needed to end this. 

Tsk, you have to stop hesitating. This isn't Tanjiro any more. 

Tentacles were bursting out of his back, attacking Giyu in every corner. He didn't have time to think, let alone finish him off. Nezuko continued to hold on for dear life, blood dripping on to the ground. And yet, Tanjiro only focused on him. 

He paid no attention to the human that was embracing him.

There is bleeding prey right in front of him. He's not attacking, he's not eating her.

Giyu's eyes grew wide. "Tanjiro, are you fighting it?"

Hope. What was this feeling? Was he fighting it? Was he trying to control himself? Giyu prayed to the gods that he was right. If he was fighting it, if that meant even a sliver of hope, he would take it.

You have to turn him human. But how?

He couldn't get to him. The demon form of who he looked at like a little brother was attacking on all sides, using his large tentacles to hold him at bay. He jumped around, dodging the attacks, but was struggling every moment.

I can't keep doing this. I can't do it.. It's useless. I'm useless.

He froze once again. It was no use. He couldn't protect anyone. He was gasping for air, and he wouldn't have enough time to figure out how to get to Tanjiro.

He was going to die, and not achieve anything..

"Flower breathing, final form, Equinoctial Vermilion Eye!"

Kocho's Tsuguko…

She was running towards him, evading his attacks. She did not hold a sword in her hands.

What are you doing? Get back! He'll kill you!

Then, he saw it. She was not completely unarmed. She held an injector. Was it medicine?

Time slowed as he watched the flower breather attempt to help. She jumped, and instantly took a hit straight on the chest. Tanjiro was watching her closely and attacking as needed.

It's no use…

"That's enough, Tanjiro." She thrusted the vial squarely into Tanjiro's back. "Come back to us. Stop making Nezuko cry."

And, as quickly as she appeared and launched an attack, she was unconscious on the ground. "Kanao.." Nezuko said, tears in her eyes.

It suddenly felt calm. The long tentacles that he had been fighting had stopped moving. Tanjiro was no longer growling. Silence filled the air, but nobody moved. He fell to his knees, exhaustion overtaking him. He began to wonder just how he was able to keep fighting the last few minutes. His head dropped, and he gasped for air.

He grimaced, grabbing his side where he was experiencing excruciating pain. He didn't want to look up, for fear that something horrible had happened. He raised his head slowly, and once again, his breath hitched as he witnessed the scene in front of him.

Tanjiro, still in demon form, stood there, staring into nothing, unmoving.

"Tanjiro," Nezuko whispered, placing a hand on his face. "Can you hear me?"

Giyu wondered what would happen next. Was he about to unleash more power? Was that medicine the kind to turn him back into a human?

Don't sit and think, dumbass. Get up and help.

He forced himself up, using what strength he didn't know he had left. He ran to Kanao, swiftly picking her up, and giving her to a Kakushi. "Take care of her," he ordered. Then, he ran to Nezuko.

She was still standing in front of her brother, her hand still resting on his face. His eyes were still demon like, but blank, as if no one, not even his demon self was there. "Onii-chan?" Nezuko whispered again.

"Nezuko," Giyu shouted at her as he approached, "you don't know what will happen! Get away from him!"

Before she could even respond, Giyu had wrapped his arms around her, bringing her to the Kakushi as well. "Keep her safe," he said, before turning to look at Tanjiro once more.

"Tanjiro?" He said loudly as he approached him, his sword still unsheathed, not letting his guard down. "Can you hear me? It's Giyu! I'm here. It's okay, I'm here."

Tanjiro blinked. Then, so quickly that Giyu gasped, he collapsed into his arms. "Tanjiro," he whispered, kneeling down with the boy in his arms and cradling him. He gently turned him over to reveal his face; his eyes were now closed, and he was grimacing. Was he in pain?

He's alive.

"Tanjiro," he said again, laying his ear on his chest to listen for a heart beat.

Thump…thump…thump…

It was slow, but there. The boy let out a yelp, and as his mouth opened, Giyu caught the sight of his fangless teeth.

Human teeth.

"It's okay, I've got you," he whispered, wiping the hair from his forehead. Tanjiro was now sweating profusely.

He's turning into a human. Will his body be able to withstand that? After everything he has gone through in the last hour?

He huffed as he watched the small form shake in his arms. Whatever he was going through, it was tough on his body. He cradled him tightly, wishing to take away his pain. He was so small, reminding Giyu that he was still only a child.

You can do it, Tanjiro. Fight. Come back to us.

Nezuko was now at his side, her hands cradling his head, and Giyu softly moved him to Nezuko's lap. Other slayers and Kakushi were now slowly surrounding them, watching with bated breath.

"You've got this Tanjiro," one said rather loudly.

"Come back to us! You can turn into a human again," said another.

"Tanjiro," came the familiar husky voice of Inosuke. He sat down next to Nezuko, also grabbing his head to try and calm him. "We're here, buddy. You can do it, turn back into a human!"

He continued to shake and grimace, letting out painful shouts as sweat poured down his face.

You're strong, Tanjiro. I believe in you.

"Tanjiro!" Now Zenitsu arrived, coming to the other side of Nezuko. Some Kakushi members laid their hands on thunder breather as he hung his head. "I'm sorry you're in pain. Keep fighting it, Tanjiro. We're waiting for you."

"I'm here, onii-chan. Fight this, let's go home!"

The group fell in silence, eyes fixed on the boy struggling on the ground. Some fervently prayed for his health, for him to turn back into a human, and to survive this altercation.

After moments passed, Tanjiro stopped shaking. His breathing evened out, and his face finally relaxed. Giyu placed his left hand on his chest, feeling his heartbeat.

He's alive…

And then, Tanjiro opened his eyes.

Those bright red, kind eyes stared at the group surrounding him. No longer had slits like a demon; Tanjiro was human again.

"Onii-chan," Nezuko said from the top of her lungs, her eyes welling with tears.

"I'm sorry," his voice was raspy and barely came out as a whisper, "about your injuries. Are you… okay?"

A feeling of weightlessness overcame Giyu. Tanjiro was back.

"HE'S BACK!" A group of Kakushi shouted, maybe a little too loud, "TANJIRO!"

Giyu sighed. It was over. Tanjiro was okay.

"Tomioka-san," someone said as they placed a hand on his shoulder, "please, can we tend to your wounds?"

Giyu shook his head. "I'm fine," he lied, "tend to Tanjiro first."

The Kakushi knew to not fight him. They nodded, knowing Giyu would come to him when ready.

The Hashira did not move from his position, his eyes softened as Tanjiro turned his head towards him. "Giyu-san," he whispered quietly, "did I hurt you?"

More tears spilled out of Giyu's eyes. Tanjiro sounded so sad, so quiet, and he feared he would never be the same. "It's okay, Tanjiro. I'm fine. I promise."

Tanjiro closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I see," he whispered, and his head slowly lulled to the side.

Fear arose in Giyu's stomach, and he felt for his heartbeat once again.

Thump…thump..thump…

He felt a sigh of relief. Was it finally over? "He's asleep," he whispered to the group surrounding him. "Let's get him out of here."

And with that, Giyu picked up the unconscious Tanjiro, and began to walk towards the edge of the battlefield.

No matter what happens in this life, I will protect you with my life. I will be the big brother you sorely need. You have been given a second chance at life, and I will not allow anything horrible happen to you, ever again.

It was a promise he fully intended to keep. He will do anything, and he means anything, to protect this boy and his family.

As he reached another group of Kakushi, they had a stretcher ready for him. He was relieved of the sleeping boy, and then, almost instantaneously, he finally allowed the darkness to overtake his senses, and he collapsed, deeply asleep, in the arms of another comrade.

Chapter Text

“I’m sorry, Tomioka-San. They didn’t make it.”

He had slept for a week after everything ended, and a little while after waking up, Goto had quietly comforted him after delivering the news.

Kanroji. Iguro. Himejima. 

They had all passed due to their injuries after Muzan was defeated. 

Giyu cried like he had never cried before. His comrades, his brothers, sisters; so many of them were gone. 

Kocho. Tokito. Genya. The list seemed to go on and on.

The victory came with a high price.

“Tanjiro,” he winced as he tried to get up, “how is he?”

He feared the worst. Tanjiro wasn’t in the room. His body went through the most of anyone, and who knows what happened over the last week. “Please, tell me he’s alright,” Giyu was practically begging.

Goto‘s eyes softened. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” he said quietly, “he is still unconscious, but alive. That is to be expected- wait, don’t you get up!”

The now former pillar was rolling himself out of his bed, much to the annoyance of Goto. “Please, let me go see him,” he whispered, grimacing from the pain he felt all over his body.

“Tomioka-san,” the Kakushi tried to sound kind but spoke with more authority than he thought he was capable of. “Your injuries are severe, and you are in no shape to get up. Please, lie back down.”

Giyu would normally fight back in this situation, but Goto’s harsh tone and the pain he felt was enough to have him staring at the ceiling once again. “Please,” he whispered, “his friends are alright, too?”

Another smile, this one was more joyful, as Goto said, “yes, they are fine. They are all awake and doing great. They all were severely injured, but most of them will be healed in no time. Kanao is learning to manage with limited eyesight.” He paused, giving a little chuckle. “After they all woke up, they’ve barely left Tanjiro’s side. What a close group of friends they are.”

They were alright.

Somehow, they managed to not lose anyone after Tanjiro’s transformation. Giyu silently thanked the gods that the younger slayers all survived. Not only did they have so much of their life ahead of them, they were the ones capable of helping heal Tanjiro’s emotional and physical wounds.

“So,” he said quietly, feeling his eyes flutter shut, “they all are going to be okay.”

Goto smiled. “Yes, Tomioka-san. And as soon as you are in shape to get up, you can go and visit them.”

An overwhelming sense of relief came over the blue eyed swordsman, for the first time in what felt like ages. He wanted to see Tanjiro, and apologize to his friends; but, he was so tired. He imagined the smiles on their faces, which brought a smile to his face. Then, he allowed darkness to overtake him again, falling into a deep, dreamless sleep.

Two Days Later

The pain was a lot better. Giyu had been cleared to visit Tanjiro, and he was slowly on his way. Aoi helped support his right side, as she guided him through the hallways of the butterfly estate. The floor cooled his bare feet as he tried to calm his racing heart beat. He didn’t know much, but he knew Tanjiro was still unconscious, and that he wasn’t expected to wake up any time soon.

“Right here,” Aoi said, pointing to the door to his room. She gave an exhausted smile as she whispered, “please try and keep Inosuke and Zenitsu quiet.”

The door opened, and Giyu was instantly greeted by a rather wild bunch. Zenitsu sat in the corner, sobbing, while Inosuke shouted at him to be a man. “I’m telling you Monitsu, that medicine doesn’t taste that bad! You gotta take it, dummy!” Giyu chuckled at the interaction. Inosuke was being himself, but actually showing a bit of kindness to Zenitsu. Nezuko was seated at the bed, but was staring at the two in the corner begging them to quiet down. Kanao was attempting to give Zenitsu his medicine, which apparently set off this whole debacle. 

The squad was not exactly a pretty sight. While they all seemed to be energetic and on the road to recovery, Giyu couldn’t help but notice the bandages all over their bodies. He lost count of how many limbs, eyes, heads and chests were wrapped in the white fabric. They were all so young, and put so much on the line. He felt relief wash over him, realizing that they would all be okay with just a few scars.

“Zenitsu! Inosuke!” Aoi shouted, following Giyu in due to the commotion. “If you’re gonna make so much noise, take it outside!” She then proceeded to grab both of them by the ear and dragged them out.

A smile broke on Giyu’s face as he watched it unfold, extremely surprised by her strength. Nezuko and Kanao both relaxed their faces before turning their attention to the black haired man who joined them.

“Giyu-san,” Nezuko said brightly as she enveloped him in a hug. It was warm, and Giyu couldn’t help but close his eyes as he embraced the young Kamado. “How are you feeling?” She asked as she released him and pulled up a chair for him.

“Better,” he sighed as he sat down. “Just a little sore.”

Nezuko smiled as she offered her hand to help him into the chair. “I’m so glad,” she whispered, “thank you so much for everything.”

A single tear rolled down her cheek, and Giyu couldn’t help but feel tears sting the corners of his eyes as well. It was the most sincere and kind thank you that he had ever heard. “No, Nezuko, thank you.” He patted her on the head, knowing that Tanjiro did that very gesture quite often. “I don’t know what would have happened if you weren’t there for that.”

“I can say the same about you. Thank you for helping both of us for so long.”

Giyu simply nodded before shifting his attention to the sleeping figure on the bed. Tanjiro looked terribly pale; his cheeks were somewhat sunken in and the expression on his face was that of someone in discomfort. The right side of his head, including his eye, was tightly bandaged, while his regenerated left arm was completely wrapped in coverings. He looked so small, and so helpless. Giyu’s heart sank.

But he was alive.

He placed his hand on Tanjiro’s chest and sighed, feeling the steady rise and fall of his chest signaling the life inside him.

“He’s not breathing, and there’s no pulse. Tanjiro.”

As the memory of the Kakushi announcing Tanjiro’s assumed death filled his brain, he closed his eyes and sighed, wishing he could forget that experience. He doubted he ever would. 

A shuffle broke Giyu from his trance, as Kanao made her way to the door. “I’ll leave you two with him for now.” A small smile formed on her face, causing her un-bandaged right eye to close for just a moment. She gave them a small wave, and with that, left the three of them alone.

Nezuko and Giyu sat in comfortable silence, staring at the soft rise and fall of Tanjiro’s chest, occasionally reaching to feel his forehead or, in Nezuko’s case, gently grab his right hand. 

They didn’t know how much time had passed, nor did they exactly care. Both felt as though conversation wasn’t exactly needed in a situation like this; they were both just basking in the relief of their brother being alive and in front of them.

This was broken when Tanjiro let out a small sigh and his head shifted. Both Nezuko and Giyu stared at him, not knowing if he was waking up, or experiencing pain.

“Onii-chan,” Nezuko said quietly, grabbing his hand tighter. Her voice was small but laced with hope. “Onii-chan, I’m here.”

He must have just been dreaming, because he didn’t move any more. Nezuko’s face fell a little at the realization that he was not coming back to them, at least, yet.

Another few moments of silence, but this time, Nezuko kept looking up to the blue eyed man, obviously thinking of words to say, but not exactly sure how to get them out.

Finally, she spoke. “Giyu-san,” she said, her voice carrying more volume now, “can you tell me about his adventures with you?”

Giyu’s eyes moved from the sleeping Kamado to the newly human Kamado. He must have looked slightly confused, because as soon as he looked at her, she giggled softly. “I’ve gained a lot of my memories back from when I was a demon,” she explained, understanding that Giyu didn’t really have an idea of what the last few years were like for her. “But, they all came back in a blur. I’m trying to piece together many of them, but I’m not sure I can. I remember faces, and I remember my brother was always there, smiling at me, protecting me. However, it seems whenever I try to think of memories with you, there aren’t any. I see a lot of other faces, hear a lot of voices, and I know those people aren’t with us any more. I can’t hear their stories, or thank them for helping us in our journey. But you’re here.. So I wanted to know.. What he was like while he fought demons… I’m sorry if that’s too much information, but quite honestly,” she paused, catching her breath. It had been years since she had spoken this much. “I’m scared he won’t be the same when he wakes up. So I want to remember him the way he was when it was just the two of us. It seems like you were very close with him.”

Giyu felt sadness rush over his shoulders. He had been worried about the same thing. Tanjiro nearly killed everyone near to him. Was he ever going to forgive himself? Who was going to tell him about the additional losses? The black haired man knew that Mitsuri was especially close to the Kamado siblings. It was hard enough telling Nezuko, who had small memories of her. But what was it going to be like for Tanjiro once he woke up and they had to remind him of everything that happened? Giyu shuddered at the thought. 

How much worse this situation was for Nezuko… it was almost more than he could bear. He suddenly felt guilty, like he didn’t have a right to be sad that he almost lost Tanjiro, because Nezuko was going through something much worse. How hard was it for her, to know that he had spent the last 3 years putting his body through hell and his life on the line for her? And she couldn’t even remember most of what had happened?

“I’m sorry if that was too much information-”

“No,” Giyuu interrupted her apology, hanging his head a little lower. “I should be apologizing. I haven’t even tried to see things from your perspective yet.”

“Giyu-san!” Nezuko said, her voice still rising, both of her hands raised in front of her, “that’s not what I mean! I mean, it’s weird, and I’m scared still. I just want to hear the stories, it might help with my memories. And maybe I’ll remember him like that, in case he’s… different after all of this.”

A sad smile stretched on Giyu’s face. Nezuko was just like her older brother. Her gestures, her voice, her eyes, her sheepish smile when she didn’t really know what to do; everything about her reminded him of Tanjiro. He was thankful he got to see her as a human. 

“Well,” he started, “we met under not great circumstances.”

“You did what now??”

The room was much more lively, but in a way that even had Aoi smiling alongside Inosuke, Zenitsu, Kanao and Goto. The space had slowly filled more and more as Giyu carefully recounted all of the time he had spent with Tanjiro, going all the way back to the beginning. While the others knew the stories of Rui, the Hashira Meeting, Giyu’s persistence while Tanjiro was recovering after the Entertainment District, and more, this was the first time any of them had heard about the battle against Akaza.

“I stood right in front of him,” Giyu said, chest sticking out as if he were reliving the moment, “and told him that if he wanted to kill Tanjiro, he would have to kill me first!”

Giyu didn’t think he would ever relive this battle so passionately, as it only happened a little over a week ago, and it was painful and difficult. But the sparkling eyes of all who listened brought a wave of happiness his heart had never experienced before. He felt like he could tell the group his deepest, darkest secrets, and they would receive it well.

“That’s scary!” Zenitsu was screeching, “you’re crazy!”

Nezuko’s eyes shined brightly as she smiled up at the man. “I didn’t know you protected him like that,” she said with joy in her voice, “thank you so much for looking after my big brother!”

I didn’t protect him, though.

Giyu shook his head, his thoughts taking an extreme negative dive that he wished wouldn’t happen. He could live in this moment forever, if he could. The only thing that could make it better, was seeing the bright smile flash across the face of the still sleeping boy in the bed. His smile continued to fade as he slumped back down, his eyes trailing off to the messy red hair, growing longer as the group had decided not to cut his untamable hair until he woke up.

4 Days ago

“What if he wants to let it grow out, now? Didn’t he have long hair once, Nezuko?”

Zenitsu was standing over Tanjiro, making far too much noise as Aoi had pulled out some hair shears. She was attempting to cut his hair so it wouldn’t get too tangled, just as she did after the Entertainment District. 

“Quiet, would you?” Aoi said, rolling her eyes and making the motion to start to kick him out. “Ever since you woke up, you have been uncontrollable! There are many people here who need rest, including Tanjiro! Please, be quiet!”

Zenitsu’s eyes dropped, he clearly felt guilty. He was the first of all the surviving slayers to wake up, and quite frankly, he didn’t like it. He thought he would enjoy some time with Nezuko, but he also knew to give her some distance because of everything she had gone through over the past few days. He needed to remain calm around her.

But for some reason, Aoi wanting to cut Tanjiro’s hair was what set him off. And he didn’t know why. 

“He did like keeping it long like our father,” Nezuko agreed with Zenitsu, although speaking a lot quieter. “Now that he isn’t fighting anymore, maybe he would like to grow it out again.”

Zenitsu didn’t know why, but an overwhelming joy swept over him. Partially because he was still getting used to the beauty that was Nezuko as a human, but the other thing he couldn’t quite put his finger on…

“Oh, that’s right,” his voice in his head said as he put the pieces together. “The last conversation you had with Tanjiro before you got that letter and the battle started. He had mentioned wanting to grow his hair out once the days of fighting were over.”

As if Aoi read his mind, she backed off, letting out an exasperated sigh and putting the scissors down. She handed the brush to Zenitsu.

“If we aren’t cutting his hair, I don’t want to be in charge of brushing it out. You two figure it out.”

9 Days Later

Nezuko was leaving her brother’s side for nearly the first time today. She of course, from time to time would leave to get some fresh air, help make dinner, or get some water. But, she spent nearly all day sitting next to Tanjiro. She had even gotten the help of some Kakushi to bring a makeshift bed for her to sleep in next to him. 

But today, she was in better spirits. Giyu-san had visited her and told her all the stories he could think of. They laughed, cried, and talked.. A lot. She had multiple interactions with Zenitsu, Inosuke, and Kanao as well, and her spirits were getting lifted. She felt less guilty knowing that he had surrounded himself with so many great people while she was a demon. This all led to Aoi inviting her to walk into town today to do some errands.

It was nearly time to leave, and she sat alone in his room for the first time in what felt like forever. She was thankful to have so many people around, helping her remember the last few years. Having so much company while Tanjiro slept kept her spirits high and kept her from letting her mind wander down the road of what her brother would be like once he woke up.

She stared down at her brother, noticing some color was returning to his face; his cheeks were still quite sunken in and his expression was not exactly completely at peace. 

Maybe he’s reliving the battle.

She closed her eyes and grabbed his unwrapped hand. Rubbing her soft fingers on his callouses, cuts and bumps, she brought his hand to her face and silently prayed that he would come back to them soon. That he would be okay.

“Onii-chan,” she whispered, “I’m leaving for a few hours, but I promise I’ll be back. I’ll never abandon you. I swear.”

“Nezuko, let go! I’ll never abandon you! I’ll clear the rubble! Nezuko, please! You’re going to cut your fingers!”

A memory as clear as day flooded her memories as she heard her brother’s voice plead. 

What is this memory? Oh.. that’s right. I was trying to help him fight some demons. Was it my Blood Demon Art?

“You neve abandoned me. I will return that favor no matter what.”

With that, she lightly placed his arm back down on the bed, felt his forehead, then made her way to the door to leave.

A small gasp of surprise as she opened the door at the same time Kanao was attempting to on the other side. “Oh! I’m sorry Nezuko! I can come back..”

“Its okay,” Nezuko interrupted. “I was just leaving. Aoi and I are going to get some fresh air and do some shopping.”

The purple eyed girl raised her eyebrows. “I see,” she said, placing her hand on her chin. “I guess I can keep him company while you’re gone.”

Nezuko smiled. Kanao might not know it yet (and her brother was so helplessly clueless with girls and their feelings), but she knew there was something going on between the two of them. She knew it the moment Kanao ran after him, weaponless, risking her life to bring him back to them. Ever since then, the two of them had grown quite close, and every story that Kanao told Nezuko was laced with excitement and… love. 

She enveloped Kanao into a hug. “Yes please,” she said, “I will feel a lot better knowing you’re keeping him company. I’m sure more will come before I get back, but you deserve some time with him alone.”

“I…”

“Just talk to him,” Nezuko kept talking, knowing that Kanao might not exactly know what she meant, “hearing familiar voices is supposed to help someone in a coma. I’m sure he loves the sound of your voice.”

With that, Nezuko waved and closed the door behind her, smiling. 

I hope you are my sister some day.

1 Week Later

“Dammit, Tanjiro,” Inosuke uttered under his breath, aggressively walking towards the hospital room where his best friend still slept. It had been almost a month, and he was still sleeping.

“His injuries, lost limbs, and lost eye all regenerated when he was a demon,” Aoi’s concerned voice echoed in his mind, “but his arm is weak, and I can’t tell if his right eye works. I won’t know until he wakes up.”

The memory of his conversation with Aoi the day prior plagued him. It had been nearly a month since the final battle, and that damned red head was still sleeping away. Causing everyone to worry. That retired Hashira, The God of Festivals, and his wives were visiting almost daily. The Wind Hashira had checked in, even. Hell, even some man with a goblin mask was spending more and more time in his room, talking to him! Everyone just wanted Tanjiro back!

If you don’t wake up soon, I’ll…

“Inosuke, I always feel so safe around you. Thank you.”

Tears threatened his eyes, memories of his best friend still plaguing him through dreams and memories. He just wanted him back. 

Please, can’t he come back?

“I don’t know what to do,” Aoi’s voice once again echoed in his mind, “he should be fine. He’s healed, for the most part. He has been since the start. God, I wish Shinobu was still here. I’m in over my head. I don’t know what to do, I don’t know what to do..”

Aoi had vented to the boar-headed boy the day before. To be honest, he didn’t exactly know what to do or say. Whenever Aoi was around, he had this weird weird sensation in his stomach, and he lost a lot of his confidence. She was scary, but there was something else… some other foreign feeling.

He shook his head. He would worry about that later. Right now, he has a job to do. And that job was to wake up his friend. It worked last time, so maybe it will work now, right?

His muscles were getting tired and he longed for some activity. So, he scaled the wall.

“Rustle…Rustle…Rustle,” he said under his breath, making his way to the ceiling to stare down at his friend. A strange sense of deja vu overcame him, and for some reason, he felt like crying again..

Stop it, idiot. Lord Inosuke doesn’t cry!

But he couldn’t help it. As he stared down at Tanjiro, he felt an overwhelming feeling of pain. He missed him, it felt like it had been years since he got to talk to him, eat with him, hear his voice..

What the hell is wrong with me?

“Oi, Tanjiro! Come on! Wake up!” He shouted, not caring if the whole house would hear him. “You survived, and now it's time for you to come back to us! You’re making everyone sad! Wake up, Tanjiro! Wake up!”

His yelling erupted into sobbing, as Tanjiro didn’t move, didn’t even flinch. How still he was, how skinny he was, Inosuke hated it. What the hell was going on?

If you healed all of your injuries when you got turned, why are you still sleeping?

“Tanjiro! Please! Wake up!”

His loudness had alerted those nearby, causing Goto, Aoi, and Giyu all to arrive in a flash, staring at the now sobbing teenagers on the ceiling.

“Inosuke, come down from there,” Aoi screeched, pushing through her own emotions. Everyone was hitting a breaking point. “This isn’t going to help!”

“But it helped last time! He woke up the next day! I’m not leaving!”

“Oi, Aoi,” the calm voice of the former Water Hashira spoke loudly, “let him stay there. Maybe it does help.”

“But it won’t! Nothing will, it’s useless! I’m useless! He won’t wake up and it’s my fault!”

Goto and Giyu instantly ran to the blue eyed girl, hugging her tightly as her emotions also bubbled over. 

“You’re not useless,” another voice said rather calmly. Inosuke had already jumped down. “He wouldn’t be alive if it weren’t for your care! He’s just tired, I’m sure!”

More crying. 

“Dammit, Tanjiro,” the Kakushi spoke up, noticing the tears threatening his eyes, as well as Giyu as they watched Aoi and Inosuke break down. “Look at this mess! Just wake up won’t you?”

5 Days Later

Giyu couldn’t believe his ears. He was walking faster than he had since the final battle, ignoring the raging pain in his head with the sudden movement. But he had one thought on his mind.

“Tanjiro woke up!” 

The shout was loud enough for everyone to hear. He didn’t know Nezuko had the ability to shout something so loudly. 

Many footsteps were heard, coming from all over the butterfly mansion. It seemed time was stopping for everyone, as they all rushed to see the former sun breather.

“STOP!” Aoi yelled, as nearly 10 people were now outside of the closed door. “I am NOT letting you all in at once. We don’t know how he is going to be, mentally. Please stay in your rooms until I give you the all clear.”

“Oh come on, we are his best friends!” Zenitsu sighed.

Aoi shook her head. “He needs time with his sister. I know you want to see him, but we need to evaluate him and also let him continue to rest. Please be patient.”

She turned her head to Giyu, “he is asking for you. Please stay here, and I’ll see if he’s ready to talk to you.”

“Hey,” Inosuke growled, “that’s not fair!”

“I WILL LET YOU IN AS SOON AS I CAN,” the level of Aoi’s voice caught everyone off guard, “but please, we need to not overwhelm him. He’s tired, weak, and mentally drained. Go back to your rooms.”

With that, the boys shrinked back to their rooms timidly. When Aoi spoke like that, they knew to give up.

“I’m sorry, Giyu-san,” she said, slightly hanging her head. “But I think you’re the best one to talk to him about… what happened. If you’re ready for that.”

Giyu nodded, knowing what she meant. He figured he would be the one to have this talk. “Are you sure he needs that now?”

She nodded. “Nezuko, Kanao and I were with him when he woke up. The first thing he said was ‘was anyone hurt?’. He knows what happened, but I don’t know the extent of his memories. The faster we have this conversation, the faster he can move on from it, I think.”

There was a pause of silence between the two of them, before Aoi sighed. “I’m only guessing at this stuff. I don’t exactly know how to treat this, I’m just making stuff up at this point.”

Giyu placed a hand on her shoulder with a reassuring grip. “You’re going great. I think you’re right.”

Aoi smiled. “Thank you,” she whispered. “I’ll go see if they’re ready for you.”

An eerie silence filled the hallway Giyu stood in, and he was… shaking. 

It’s up to you. You’re the one who has to talk to him. If he’s never the same, it’s your fault.

Stop it. Stop blaming yourself.

Urokodaki told him over and over again that he did good. That Tanjiro was gonna be okay. But Giyu was still having a hard time accepting that.

The door opened. “You can come in,” was all that Aoi said.

Deep breath.

Why am I nervous?

Why am I shaking?

He didn’t have time to think through those answers. He was crossing the threshold into the room, like he had done so many times in the last month. And before he could think, he was met with a shining red eye.

It was so familiar, so kind, and brought so much peace. But Giyu could also see the pain, the fear, and the tears that sat stagnant at the bottom. Tanjiro only had one eye visible, but Giyu felt as though the boy was staring into his soul.

Tanjiro didn’t say anything, he just looked at Giyu, and the blue eyed man wondered if Tanjiro wasn’t comprehending his surroundings just yet. 

Giyu tore his eyes away and to the similarly shaped pink ones next to him. Nezuko had a relieved but fearful look on her face, holding her brother’s hand tightly. Giyu suddenly felt as though he was interrupting something precious, and wanted nothing more than to walk out. He wanted to escape.

No. Don’t run away. Tanjiro needs you. Tanjiro needs you to be strong.

“Giyu….san,” the red-eyed boy whispered, his voice rough from non-use. “I’m happy… you’re here.”

Suddenly, all of the nerves, the desire to run, all of it.. Melted away. The sound of that boy’s voice was like music dancing in Giyu’s ears. A voice that, for the last month, he feared he would never hear again.

Nezuko smiled at Giyu, tears still in her eyes, the feeling of seeing her brother away and alive for the first time since she became a human still fresh in her face. She stood up, once again running to Giyu for a hug. “He’s awake,” she whispered for only the former Hashira to hear. “Thank the gods he’s finally awake.”

Giyu took a deep breath. Patting her on the head, he soothed her the best he could. They embraced for only a moment, before Nezuko motioned for Giyu to sit down in the chair.

Giyu did just that, his eyes carefully following Tanjiro’s. Tanjiro watched his every move, but stayed silent. Giyu didn’t know what to think about it. 

“I’ll leave you two alone for a little while,” Nezuko said, breaking the silence in the room. “Onii-chan, I’ll be back with some food in a little while.”

“Thank…you,” he forced out, clearly still struggling to talk. Nezuko gave her brother’s hand one more squeeze, which he returned, before leaving the room and letting the two former swordsmen sit in silence.

Giyu didn’t even know where to start. Usually, Tanjiro would do the talking if the two were alone. But, he knew this was a conversation that needed to be had.

“Tanjiro,” he whispered, now grabbing the boy’s arm, tears brimming in his eyes. “I’m so sorry..”

“Giyu-san,” Tanjiro tried to interrupt, his voice growing stronger the more he spoke, “Giyu-san,” he said again, trying to keep Giyu from crying.

“I couldn’t protect you,” Giyu said, his head held low. “If I had done a better job, I’m sure things would be better. I’m so… so sorry.”

Tanjiro moved his head slowly towards Giyu, the tears still sitting in his eye but not releasing. “No… thank you.. Nezuko told me… about what you did… thank you.”

What did I do?

Giyu shook his head. “I,” he began, not sure if he could get the words out. “I didn’t really do anything. Nezuko did far more than me. If it weren’t for her-”

“I’d be a monster right now.”

A chill went down Giyu’s spine as he kept his head held low, unable to look into Tanjiro’s eye. It was the first sentence that Tanjiro was able to get out without breaking to breathe, and his voice was getting stronger. Giyu cursed under his breath that that was the first sentence he would be able to say confidently since waking up.

“I’m sorry.” Tanjiro’s quiet words caused Giyu to look back up to his face. “I hurt you. I hurt… Nezuko. I hurt… everyone. I was a… monster,” the tears that had been gathered in his uncovered eye finally began to spill over his cheek. “I couldn’t control… myself like Nezuko. Why couldn’t I? Why?”

Tanjiro ripped his good arm from Giyu’s grasp as he covered his face, openly sobbing as his memories flooded him. The black haired man didn’t really know what to do, or say. He wasn’t sure if Tanjiro would have any memories of being turned into a demon, but it was clear he did. 

If you could have stopped Muzan from swallowing him, he wouldn’t be in this situation.

Stop it.

If you had only taken his place, he wouldn’t have to deal with these memories.

I can’t. I couldn’t.

If you had died there instead, he would have been able to recover without being turned into a demon.

“He’s not breathing, and there’s no pulse. Tanjiro.”

“Tanjiro has turned into a demon! We must kill him before he kills anyone!”

Time passed. Neither former slayer knew how much, but it must have been quite some time. 

“Tanjiro,” Giyu finally chose to break the silence between them, “It wasn’t your fault. Muzan took advantage of you. It’s my fault. I should have kept you from getting swallowed.”

“I’m the one who almost killed everyone-”

“But you didn’t kill anyone-”

“But I hurt them! Nezuko and Kanao have wounds… from me .”

Giyu sighed. This was exactly what everyone was worried about. Tanjiro was already the type of person to think of everyone but himself, so of course he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself when he hurt the people he loved.

“Tanjiro,” Giyu said, not really knowing where to take the conversation, “do you..”

He trailed off which made Tanjiro raise his eyebrows and look back in his direction.

“What do you remember?”

Giyu wasn’t sure if this was the best way to go about it. But, he was willing to try. Maybe if he understood what Tanjiro knew, he could help him understand that it wasn’t his fault.

Tanjiro didn’t say anything for a moment. He stared at the ceiling, the tears still streaking down his cheek.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it,” Giyu could tell he made the wrong decision. It was too soon to be asking that. Tanjiro needed time to process. 

Idiot. You’re making it worse.

He stood up to leave, but Tanjiro grabbed his arm. “No, I,” the younger boy said timidly. “I think I need to talk about it with you. That's why I asked for Aoi to let you come in...you’re the person I want to talk with.”

Giyu sat back down, nodding his head as if to allow Tanjiro to speak.

Tanjiro took a deep breath. “I remember just enough to know that I hurt everyone.”

The statement felt final, and Giyu worried that was all he was going to say. He stayed silent for a moment, hoping that he would open up more.

To his relief, the red headed boy did. “I remember.. Muzan. We had him pinned, but I took a hit.” He lightly touched his wrapped arm, signifying the memory of it getting blown off. “You came to help keep him down. I… knew I was going to die.”

Giyu closed his eyes.

“I wanted to die fighting, so after he swallowed me, I kept fighting. I made my sword bright red. The next thing I knew…”

Another long pause while Tanjiro closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“I was looking at you. But I was so.. So angry. I wanted to kill everyone. I was hungry. Blood smelled good. It smelled really good. Everyone kept running to me. But I just wanted to kill them. The only thought in my brain was to kill everyone.”

More sobs openly erupted from his throat, making him pause for a bit of time. Giyu didn’t speak, he just held on to him. He wanted Tanjiro to know he wasn’t mad. He didn’t blame him. But actions sometimes spoke louder than words.

“It  was consuming me. I wanted to stop, to just sit down and cry, but I was so tired. I was so hungry.. I just wanted…”

Another sob escaped his mouth, causing Giyu to wince. He was already regretting the choice to have Tanjiro do this.

“I felt like I couldn’t control myself. I was watching from somewhere dark, while my body moved. But.. Nezuko was hugging me. She was talking to me. She was human . But I was biting her, I was hurting her! I couldn’t stop myself! I hated everyone and everything!” Tanjiro was now breathing heavily, seemingly struggling to take a deep breath, and Giyu was starting to get worried.

“Tanjiro, you don’t have to do this right now-”

“No, Giyu-san,” he said, putting his good hand on his chest to try and calm himself. “I need to do this. I need to get it out so Nezuko doesn’t see me like this. I can’t… face her. Not until I can hear what you saw.”

“Nezuko doesn’t blame you-”

“But I’m the one who hurt her-”

“You were under Muzan’s control-”

“But he was dead. I acted on my own free will.”

This would have never happened if you had stopped Muzan from swallowing him.

Tanjiro was able to get a deep breath in. “She was talking to me. She was apologizing. She was begging for me to come back. I could tell it was her. I could tell she was human. But I was so angry. And her blood smelled so good.”

“But you didn’t eat her.”

“But I wanted to.”

“You controlled yourself.”

“I was saved by Kanao. I was so close. She ran towards me, and suddenly, I had some control. But I was somewhere dark, and Muzan was telling me I had killed them all. He was begging for me to stay, but I…just wanted to go home. I just wanted to sleep. I just wanted to hug my sister.

“That’s all I remember.”

Tanjiro once again stared at the ceiling. His tears had dried, but it seemed he could no longer look Giyu in the face.

“Tanjiro,” Giyu started, hoping that he was going in the right direction, “I think you weren’t able to control yourself because of how much blood you must have gotten from Muzan.”

Tanjiro didn’t respond, just continued to stare at the ceiling.

“Since he gave you blood because he was dying, I think he gave you all of his blood. And considering that, you fought against it valiantly.”

Another tear slipped from Tanjiro’s eye.

“We couldn’t do anything. There are two reasons no one died: because Nezuko arrived at the right time, and because you were fighting it. I could tell.”

Silence still remained from the boy in the bed.

“ You didn’t want to kill anyone. Muzan gave you so much blood that it literally wasn’t you. It was Muzan in your body.”

“But I still could remember-”

“But you tried to stop yourself. You still wanted to hug her. I think what you did was more admirable than what any of us did. You really fought against it.”

Giyu was now gripping onto Tanjiro’s arm. He leaned in closer to the boy, trying to convey his forgiveness. “You did what you could to fight against it, and in the end, no one died. And that’s because you fought against it. It might have been hard, but you did. And we could all sense it.”

“Nezuko and Kanao have wounds from me-”

“Yes they do. And they don’t care. All they care about is that you’re here with us now. And that you’re human.”

Tanjiro kept opening his mouth as if to say something, but no words came out. Giyu was now smiling; although he didn’t know why. “Tanjiro, I’m not exactly the best person to admire. I still haven’t forgiven myself for… anything. But I’ve never met someone with as much drive and kindness as you. I.. thought I had lost you for good. And if you hadn’t been turned into a demon, you wouldn’t be with us. So.. I’m choosing to focus on the fact that you’re here. And I know Nezuko is so, so thankful that you are here. Nezuko and Kanao see their scars as the extremely small price to pay for having you here, alive, and human. Those scars will show the valiant fight everyone put in to have you here with us.”

“I..” Tanjiro trailed off, his eyes now looking back over to Giyu. “Thank you, Giyu-san.”

“Now I want you to stop with the unforgiveness, okay? You have a second chance at life.. You should live it with your friends and sister.”

Giyu stood up from his chair, feeling like the conversation had turned out better than he imagined. “You need to rest.” His hand squeezed Tanjiro’s shoulder. “I’ll always be around. I know this conversation isn’t going to fix anything, but I want you to understand that we all forgive you, and I mean it. We will do whatever it takes for you to understand that. If I have to come in here every day and hammer it into your hard head, I will.”

A chuckle escaped both their mouths. “Thank you, Giyu-san.”

He began to walk out to let Tanjiro get some rest. “Giyu-san?”

“Hai.”

“Will you get Nezuko, Kanao, Zenitsu, and Inosuke for me? I just want to be with them. I.. don’t want to be alone anymore.”

“Of course.”

He smiled once more before closing the door behind him.

Every day, I’ll help you pick up the pieces. Every day, I’ll help you take one step towards recovery. Every day, I will make sure you and your friends are happy. I promise.