Work Text:
It's November, a little over a week before Hosuh's birthday. Stephen has been doing as always, the ever monotonous routine he has kept up for, how many years now? What does it matter, Stephen is one minor inconvenience away from throwing it all out the window. That's only an exaggeration, of course, but he'll dangle that carrot over his head until he wants to bite.
It started with strange Discord messages. Hosuh started pestering him more often than usual with questions like "What's your favorite dessert?" and "What's your favorite kind of mangoes again?" and an abundance of "Stephen, how's your schedule looking?" Of course, Stephen interpreted it as him just wanting to spend time with him, but half of the time nothing ever happened.
And now Stephen is here on a particularly quiet day. Usually he can hear the murmur of a television, footsteps, the occasional shout for someone... Stephen's used to being the loudest thing in the house, but he doesn't like being aware of it!
When he went out to the kitchen this morning, emerging from his chamber of which one might call a bedroom, he saw a note on the counter that his family would be out for however long for each of their own reasons. Meaning it's probably Stephen's responsibility to feed the cat today, hoping that he isn't accidentally double-feeding it.
It was right after he shook the bowl to coax the cat over that there was a knock on the front door. Completely unsuspecting, assuming he'd have to politely tell a door-to-door salesman or otherwise that he is not interested in whatever they are selling, he attempts to gather his social skills despite his common early-morning-bitchy-attitude affliction.
Bracing for cold air to hit and covering the door opening with his foot so the cat doesn't get any ideas of running outside, hoping he'll stay preoccupied with the food, he opens the door and there's... No one. Just snow on the ground, the gloomy sky, and the houses around his own. Did he really just get ding-dong ditched? Would it be knock-knock ditched in this context? But before Stephen could have any other thoughts thunk on any thinks, a figure hopped into his view from the side.
"Stephen!!" The one shouted at and about nearly jumps out of his skin when his dear friend Hosuh jumped to be in front of him. It scares him at first but he smiles the second after, and of all things he could say, "You motherfucker," is the first to come out, along with a laugh of disbelief. Stephen held the door open, ushering a laughing Hosuh and his luggage in, keeping his hand on his shoulder so that when he closed the door he can immediately pull Hosuh into an embrace.
Stephen now realizes that Hosuh had a backpack on that is now getting in the way, but he just tucks his hands between the bag and Hosuh's back. Hosuh hugs him back tighter, not surprised, he's one to out-do himself when he wants to express himself to his friends. Silent notes fall over them as they hold each other for probably longer than either intended, but it doesn't seem like Hosuh's letting go first.
Stephen pulls back to where his hands rest on Hosuh's shoulders, with Hosuh adjusting to the pull decides to place his hands on Stephen's waist, "Hosuh..." Stephen breathes out another laugh before taking this moment to look Hosuh in the eyes, "Why and how the fuck are you here?" Hosuh just keeps beaming when he looks at him, "I wanted to surprise you! I got some treats on the way here by the way," As Hosuh shrugs off his backpack to rummage into it, Stephen stops to collect his conscience, "Wuh..."
Now feeling a little out of sorts, having his monotonous routine disrupted, Stephen feels a little distressed. Of course Stephen is also exceedingly happy to see Hosuh in the flesh again, but Stephen's never been good with surprises due to the unpredictability. Whilst his mind is all over the place, he watches Hosuh pull out a plastic bag you'd put your goods in at the store and then look a little aimless on where to put it, but Stephen quickly verbally directs him toward the kitchen, "You can put it on the counter,"
Hosuh placed it down with a thunk only something glass would make— ever the attuned ears Stephen has, —and turns back to Stephen, but having caught a glimpse of the cat almost finished eating out of his food bowl... "Mickey!" He drops down to his knees to pet the cat, and Mickey, being way too okay with unfamiliar faces, just lets it happen.
Stephen lets words fall out of his mouth after thinking, "Hosuh, how do I explain to my family that you're suddenly here?" And very directly, it's answered with "Oh they know," which makes Stephen choke on his words, "Elaborate?" "I made an overseas call to your landline a while ago. Your mother is very kind."
Hosuh continues to be casual which just irrationally bothers the disoriented Stephen, and unfortunately it starts to come through in his tone, "You're kidding." Hosuh's tone on the other hand becomes concerned, "Why would I be kidding about your mom being nice?" "No, I mean...!" Stephen is only able to sigh frustratedly and do brief meaningless arm gestures. Stephen briefly wishes he could be as casual, and realizing how much of a brick wall he's being, he finds himself breathily laughing again.
"Stephen, if now is a bad time for me to show up—" Stephen quickly cuts off the common over-thinking of Hosuh, "No, I just- I-It's sudden. I'm still processing. Sorry," Stephen laughs at his own speech fumbles and reassures Hosuh further, "I'm really happy you're here." That was enough to shut Hosuh up, because he smiles and playfully bats at Stephen's shoulder in a 'Oh, you' way.
"So about those treats?" Stephen prompts, quickly readjusting where he's standing because the cat wants to be all up in their business. "Right! So, of course, I got the mangoes you like," Hosuh pulls out a smaller plastic bag from within the plastic bag with a bundle of mangoes in it "I'd sure hope you don't drop the tradition." Hosuh 'Mm-hmm's in agreement as he sets the bag of mangoes down next to the pre-existing plastic bag.
It's at this moment Stephen notices that the glass sound he heard in the plastic bag, that is slowly falling in on itself from a lack of mangoes filling the space, reveals itself to be a bottle of alcohol. "And—" "No," Stephen immediately protests as he watches Hosuh pull the bottle out to place it onto the counter, Hosuh just smiles as if he knew this was coming, "Stephen, c'mon." Stephen mimics the lighthearted joking air on the topic, "You know how bad I get when I'm drunk!" "It's a special occasion! I think it'd be fun!" Hosuh looks at Stephen expectantly.
Stephen ponders, and the longer he does, the more he finds it harder to force himself to frown. "I'm a little bit tempted, it's been a while," Hosuh quietly celebrates in overexaggerated victorious gestures whilst Stephen talks, which makes Stephen's smile come through in his tone, "I- I need to remember why I hate drinking and being drunk! Is this wine?" Stephen leans over to turn the bottle to it's label and it confirms his question, but Hosuh double confirms it, "Cheap wine." Stephen scoffs, jokingly offended, "Am I not worthy of expensive wine, sir? I'm hurt," "I'm drinking most of it!"
They laugh together, Stephen suddenly sighs and thinks out loud, "I'm gonna regret my decisions soon..." "It's okay, Hosuh's here!" Stephen mocks Hosuh's words in a high pitched voice, which makes Hosuh roll his eyes up, subtly wobbling his head back and forth, seemingly mocking him back in silence to cancel it out before snapping back to casual conversation, "Have you ate yet?" Stephen presses his lips together and snaps his fingers, having realized, "I have not and I should."
Stephen instinctively attempts to grab his phone, but he left it in his room so he catches a look at the analog clock on the kitchen wall which is nearly at 12. Stephen doesn't have the patience to properly calculate down to the minute, which he mentally notes as a sudden commentary on the dystopic feeling that having the construct of time in the palm of your hand gives. He quickly cuts himself off from the incoming stream of thoughts on how time is always passing before it makes him feel sick by thinking of the current objective instead, food.
"What do you want to eat, I can help make it!" Hosuh's words almost sound like gibberish to a Stephen who was briefly away in his mind's crevasses, but he luckily picked out the context, "I don't trust you with feeding me, not after the weird food ideas you were coming up with a while back," Stephen's makes his way toward the fridge for a semblance of memory on what it was he was planning to eat, "Come on!" Hosuh whines, and Stephen knows he'll soon budge with or without pestering.
~~~
They'd been inseparable the entire day so far. I mean, Hosuh didn't have any other reason he travelled all this way, he just wanted to see Stephen for as a birthday present for himself. Stephen had been wanting to see Hosuh too, but nothing ever lined up. It made his heart ache a little every time he thought too hard about the situation, craving the feeling of being physically around someone you care about and don't get to see often, but talk to a lot. ... Yeah, no, that feeling only applies to Hosuh.
There's something Stephen has been mulling over, and the longer he mulls, the more he knows he's a hypocrite. He'll tell anyone "Just tell who you're into that you like them!" and now here he is, being in the same space as the source of his mulling.
Yes, Stephen has fallen for Hosuh. He'd been trying to tell himself it isn't love and that he just misses him so much it makes him feel funny, sometimes sick, but one night when he couldn't sleep, his mind started wandering through every interaction he's ever had with Hosuh and... Long story short, the thoughts snowballed in on itself.
It makes Stephen feel a little wrong experiencing these feelings without Hosuh knowing, and Hosuh is right there and he's so close and he could tell him and he isn't. He sometimes asks himself 'What do I have to lose?' trying to work up courage, but then a barrage of answers come hammering down on him. All the 'What if's get to him which is why he chooses not to think about it, but when your entire day is now based around that person, it's a little hard to ignore.
"Steeepheeen!" Hosuh calls in a sing-songy voice as he approaches the sofa they'd been sitting and chatting on for a while, placing two glasses of wine on the low table in front of it. In a smooth motion, Hosuh sits down himself in front of where he placed his own glass. Hosuh has definitely made himself comfortable here already, considering he was the one to look around for the glasses with barely any guidance from Stephen.
"Oh boy oh boy," Stephen says unenthusiastically but with a smile, but crinkling his nose when he moves to sit at the edge of the sofa to pick up the glass. Not because he smelled it, but because his brain is already imagining the wine taste on his tongue. He noticed that Hosuh moved closer to the edge too, accidentally mirroring each other.
"Hosuh... Whatever happens to me..." Stephen starts dramatically, and looking at Hosuh, Stephen can tell he's pretending to not be amused. "I want you know that... You suck," Stephen's timing tells him to take a sip, so he does. It tastes a nice kind of fruity! Pleasantly surprised.
"We were supposed to clink!" Hosuh whines, scooting over a little so he doesn't need to extend his arm so much, to hold the glass out. Stephen reluctantly clinks it with his own. "Thank you," Hosuh says all pleased-like before he takes a sip of his own. It is surely only downhill from here.
By 10 minutes and half a glass, Stephen is already feeling effects. In his remaining consciousness he vaguely remembers one time Hosuh brought up to him the possibility of overlooked liver problems being the reason why he's such a lightweight, which would then make it strange why he'd want to drink with him. Is Hosuh trying to kill him? He could believe it. He knew all these years of being best friends was all a ploy for Stephen's inevitable murder. Funny, since outside of Stephen's internal monologue, a quite tipsy Hosuh is leaning on him, enthusiastically showing him things on his phone.
"And this picture was from a really late at night rainy walk I had, I thought the lights were pretty, and this- Oh my god this- Did you know..." Hosuh pauses for half a second on the video he slid to, and Stephen's mouth craves speech, "I did not," Hosuh lightly baps him, "Shh, look at this," Hosuh plays a video on his phone of a store's logo being projected onto the cement diagonal from it. If he weren't physically and mentally exhausted from the day so far, and an obvious other reason, Stephen would've had a more excited reaction. His mind's a little numbed down right now.
"Whaaaat?" The words accidentally come out as sarcastic, but luckily, Hosuh sucks with sarcasm, "Yeah, It's- In Seoul at least, there are stores with these- They have their logo's image projected onto the sidewalk and I- I can't remember how it works, but isn't that cool?" Stephen just hums in a tone mimicking Hosuh's marveling, which could also unfortunately come off as sarcastic. ... Stephen isn't very good at this.
Hosuh noticed Stephen losing focus, "Stephen, if you wanna cuddle in silence we could!" Stephen jerks his head at the idea, not in a particularly good way, it lightly pulled a muscle. "I'm not good with touch," Stephen says it with a venom. It's true, Stephen isn't! It's probably because his only source of physical touch for the past couple of years has been short hugs, half-hugs, and taps on the shoulder and things similar. ... Damn, Stephen does need more than just a hug, huh? The thought probably only makes him uncomfortable because he isn't used to it, and it's not like he hasn't cuddled Hosuh before! So...
"I know, but just so you know, the door is open with me. Like my arms. Open. I missed you so much," Hosuh laughs at himself and how his mouth runs on whilst Stephen catches himself in thought, because he realized that Hosuh could probably tell he's thinking too hard about something. "Stephen, take a drink," Hosuh says with a tone implying he'll say something else once Stephen does. Hosuh could definitely tell. So he picks up his glass to take another sip, hoping it doesn't kill him in expectance that it'll help him think less.
"What's going on in your head? I know you've been on edge today," Hosuh talks with a smile but he's definitely worried. Nothing's gonna get solved if Stephen doesn't start telling truths. The least he can do is tell half of it... "Hos, I want physical touch to come easy to me, I really do-" Hosuh lights up at that, "Then let's start getting you used to it now! But don't force yourself of course," Hosuh reels himself back in, having got too excited for whatever reason. Makes Stephen feel a little bit funny.
"Like- It's just- I think the only reason why I'm uncomfortable with it at all is because I haven't like... Touched someone for extended periods of time? That came out kinda wrong, nevermind," Hosuh laughs before Stephen does at the wording, "No, I understand! I- For me it's the opposite, it's been so long since I've... Been so physically close to someone that I'm comfortable with, that instead of rejecting touch, I need it? So I- I actually shouldn't mention it, because you might feel like you have to, and I don't want to pressure you and I know you have your boundaries-"
Stephen catches Hosuh in his ramble with his classic joking-anger, "Shut up! I know my boundaries, I'm gonna hold you out of spite, get over here!" Stephen leans over and grabs at Hosuh, who starts fake yelling out upon attack, curling in on himself like an armadillo trying to hide from the oncoming attack of Stephen's embrace. Of course, Stephen wins, and he awkwardly readjusts himself on the couch to lay obtusely where the arm rest is, having it positioned right underneath his shoulders. He drags that heavy half-shielding Hosuh up onto his chest, and Hosuh immediately makes himself comfortable, dropping the turtle shell act to untense.
It's honestly a façade, the joke-anger? Stephen always pulls it to mask something, and this time he pulled it to hide that he just wanted an excuse to hold Hosuh already. Stephen can't ever so genuinely say 'Hosuh, I trust you with my entire being, I will most definitely trust you when it comes to affection and I very much welcome it if it's from you because I feel very differently about you than other people and it's not because I'm crushing on you, it's because you're the closest proof to the existence of soulmates I have and I don't intend to lose you ever'. First of all, Hosuh would cry.
It feels weird to hold Hosuh like this, but I mean, it's half of what Stephen expected when it comes to physical touch. He's fighting in his head over if this is a good weird feeling or a bad weird feeling, but when he stops thinking too hard and instead focuses on Hosuh's breathing, it just feels... Safe. It's kind of surreal, and it feels like a new feeling though it isn't? Stephen doesn't think it's new, that is, if he's labelling the feeling right. It's warm by both definitions, it's cozy...
Speaking of, Hosuh himself is getting a little too cozy, Stephen feels a little funny with how Hosuh's lips are grazing his neck without actually kissing there. Funny-feeling in a positive curious way. Maybe Stephen's the one making it weird! But if he isn't, did Hosuh really drink that much already that he's getting all lovey-dovey with him because Stephen gave the okay with cuddling? Would Stephen want that? Does Hosuh want that? "Why'd you stop holding meee?" Hosuh whines, and Stephen didn't even notice when his arms stopped holding Hosuh. "I was deep in thought, sorry," Stephen makes up for it with a tight hold before holding him normally.
"Whatcha thinkin' about?" Hosuh pries in a mildly cutesy voice, but Stephen decides to think of it as a joking tone. Luckily he was going to joke in response either way, "The secrets of the universe." With a small grumble, Hosuh then says "Liarrrr," and lifts his head just to plop it onto Stephen again, with what Hosuh probably thought was with the force of a battering ram, was to Stephen equivalent to a small animal being dropped from a short height onto his chest. Stephen is thankful when Hosuh sits up because now he doesn't have to worry about lips and breathing on his neck making him nervous. Yet Stephen's missing the warmth and weight of a body on him. Strange. That's new.
Stephen watches as Hosuh undoes his ponytail to shake his hair out from how it got messed up from laying down, tying it back up after sloppily, and then lifting his glass again to get down the last bit of wine he had in his glass. "Hos, aren't you drinking a lot?" Stephen genuinely wonders with a concern he can't mask, "I'm not weak like you, so I can drink however much I want." Hosuh teases in response, and though it doesn't quell Stephen's worries, he plays along, "Woooow." Stephen says sarcastically. "You have to match me, drink some more!" Hosuh playfully goads, and Stephen doesn't oppose drinking more for himself. He stretches when he sits up, sitting half-sideways from where he was to grab his glass and drinks more than he would in a sip.
"Oh! I'm gonna cut up a mango for us, one second," Hosuh gets up, before immediately needing to cautiously sit back down again from the alcohol hitting and then giving standing up another try. He gets himself to the kitchen with a careful stride, seeming to be excited from how he's humming a random tune though Stephen wouldn't have been able to tell from his face. Stephen hears the sound of drawers being opened, "Where are the fruit knives?! ... Nevermind!" It ceases and Stephen tries to auditorily follow his movements from there, but loses track.
"Do you have toothpicks?" Hosuh calls over, his voice is clearer so he must be looking towards him, from the couch Stephen peers over to Hosuh's direction and silently points to little plastic containers on a counter in the corner. "Gotcha!" Hosuh affirms. Soon Hosuh comes back with napkins and a plate of halves of a mango, each half cross-hatched leaving big cube pieces down to the peel. Plus one little toothpick for each half stuck into a piece. Amazing presentation!
"I'll help do the dishes by the way, I promiiiise," Drawing out the syllable, though Stephen just lightly baps his arm as a quiet objection to his future actions, before leaning to yank a piece of mango off with the toothpick. Instead of pulling the cube off, the toothpick just went through the side. They both laugh a little, probably for different reasons, so Stephen reassures Hosuh, "It's the thought that counts," making Hosuh laugh a little harder, so Stephen doesn't stop there, switching from genuine to dramatization, "I, too, was hoping you'd feed me mango cubes by a toothpick romantically. Sometimes things happen! It's okay."
Hosuh says mid-laugh "I mean..." in a tone implying that was his intention or that it wasn't his intention, and that Stephen gave him that idea, and that he isn't opposing it. Stephen finds it easier to mark it up to being Hosuh playing off of his bit, however also briefly reminding himself that Hosuh is a little too honest sometimes. Paired with how much he's drinking? Recipe for disaster. Hosuh's going to tell him his social security number, unasked for, any second now.
Stephen stops his bit to make it a little dare, "You could feed me mango cubes, if you aren't a coward." That stops Hosuh in his tracks, "I'm not a coward, gimme a second," Stephen laughs even before he sees Hosuh desperately trying to get one of his mango cubes on his toothpick, of which makes him laugh more and backtrack on his dare, "Why are you trying so hard?! I was joking, Hos-" Hosuh doesn't even spare a glance at him, focused on his handiwork, "Shh! Shush!"
He finally gets a mango cube on, though terribly mutilated by the toothpick, "Aha! Stephen, give me your mouth!" The weird wording makes Stephen laugh and contort his face in distaste at the same time. Stephen, wanting to indulge in Hosuh's commitment, leans forward for Hosuh to put the mango cube in his mouth. Stephen closes his lips around the toothpick and pulls back, munching on the fucked-up mango cube, "Mmm, yummy..." He says with sarcasm and a laugh. Hosuh seems to be happy, but then he gets caught by a thought...
"Stephen, do you think it's weird that we've been friends for ten years and we've never kissed on the lips?" 'First of all, that's sudden. Second of all,' Stephen says in his mind before swallowing the mango chunk, "It has not been ten years!" "Yes it has!" Hosuh combats as Stephen does the math in his head, "Oh god, you're right," Stephen concedes with an existential toneage to the realization of how old he is.
Now that that part's out of the way, Stephen's turns to face Hosuh fully as though confronting, sitting legs crossed, "Anyway, what?!" "I- I'm just saying!" Hosuh becomes defensive, "You'd think, somewhere in those ten years, we'd have some kind of, strange, homoromantic, homiesexual, socks were on,—" Hosuh was probably going to keep listing off descriptors if Stephen hadn't but in, "Okay, okay! I get it, like a gay escapade? Accidental gay escapade," Stephen clarifies, which probably came off as insecure in his quote unquote heterosexuality. "Something like that!"
"We don't make it weird when something one would consider romantic occurs between us! We've definitely done romantic things," If Stephen weren't as drunk he'd explain it more eloquently, but the point is, it used to not feel THAT kind of funny doing anything remotely intimate with Hosuh! He can see themselves back in high school now, like the time Hosuh had dragged him by the hand to get on their way to walk home since they lived nearby then, and neither of them let go until they had to go separate streets. Just two dudes.
Hosuh thought on Stephen's words long enough for Stephen to think he broke him, but he ended up responding with a surprised "We have done a lot of romantic things! Like the first time I slept over at your house..." "Oh god." Stephen thinks out loud, which makes Hosuh laugh. The first sleepover they had was so awkward, Stephen has had sleepovers before mind you! But that was in middle school and it wasn't at his house, this WAS at his house and not to mention during senior year of high school. Very different.
"Stephen, I know you're still embarrassed about it-" "How could you tell?" Stephen butts in with a slightly overexaggerated irritated tone. Hosuh just breathily laughs, places his mango down, and scoots closer to Stephen to give him a reassuring grip on the shoulder, "It's okay! I think it was a worthy bonding experience. It wasn't bad having you laying on me. I think I need to drink more, hold on," Hosuh turns to get his wine glass and sips slowly which seems more like avoiding his admission of enjoying the predicament, meanwhile Stephen stews in his remembering.
What happened that first sleepover is between Stephen, Hosuh, and any Gods that could possibly exist, and his brain tortures him by replaying the incident to him late at night when he wants to sleep sometimes. In the grand scheme of things, not a big deal! But the first time you wake up with all your limbs holding onto your good pal you've only known for a year-ish at that point, and that good pal woke up before you and let you stay that way, just casually playing on his DS like 'This is fine', it kind of leaves a mark on your brain.
"If it makes you feel better-" "It won't." Hosuh quickly shushes Stephen's embarrassment, "Shh! If it makes you feel better, it's normal for us now! Like last time I slept over, I think it was 3 years ago now? And you know how you have that body pillow of yours-" "Hosuh—" Stephen tries to interject to avoid his own embarrassment to no avail, "And I actually moved when I woke up, you didn't know, but instead of holding onto the body pillow you were holding onto me," Stephen inquires quizzically this time, "Hosuh?" "And like the sun from your window was shining in and um, I definitely wasn't staring, I was on my phone, but you looked really pretty, but I thought 'Uh oh Stephen's gonna be really embarrassed if he finds out about this'—"
Wait. "Hosuh, what was that last part?" "I'm not done," Oh my god. "So that's why I got up, I had to like- You know how in the movies they replace the space with something? I put my pillow in your arms, I don't know how you didn't think that was weird, like why would you be holding the pillow I was using, but when I got up I um..." Hosuh pauses for the first time, maybe finally realizing how much he's saying, and what he's saying. Stephen is appalled in the strangest way. However, Hosuh doesn't learn his lesson, because he continues in a less confident tone. "I gave you like a little kiss on the forehead, I think it was sweet, and very normal, and not at all weird, oh no." Hosuh suddenly realizes the hole he got himself into once it's too late, as per usual.
"Hosuh... Do you have something to tell me?" Stephen approaches the metaphorical hole Hosuh is in carefully, though not wanting to be too serious about it because he shouldn't get his hopes up. Hosuh seems to get nervous nonetheless, bringing his legs close to himself and wrapping his arms around them, verbally unresponsive. Stephen knows his way around mutism, so he approaches it how he would want to be approached, "Take your time, I'm not going anywhere."
Stephen lets that sentence hang for a while, before pulling out the distractions, "You like touch, do you want to cuddle again? We could hold hands. I can squeeze right next to you and stay there if you want." Hosuh nods, though it's unclear on which he's nodding to. Good thing Hosuh takes it into his own hands, literally, by grabbing Stephen's hands and caressing them. It looks like Hosuh needed something to do with his hands, and messing around with Stephen's was enough to get him to loosen up his tense stature, retreating into criss-cross.
Hosuh seemed ready to talk when he opened his mouth a little, but instead he started crying, his hands shooting up to his face. Stephen isn't good with crying. But Stephen knows Hosuh, and Hosuh would want a hug right now. Stephen leans forward to hug Hosuh, and he hugs him back, but Stephen was over confident with his lean and ended up toppling Hosuh backwards to where he leans on the arm of the couch. Stephen immediately exclaims a "I'm so sorry," but Hosuh started laughing about it for a second before his tears overtook him again, unless that was just a sob that sounded like a laugh.
It quelled mostly soon after, and Stephen rested on Hosuh for as long as he needed to, before Hosuh was grounded enough to speak, "I think I like you too much," saying that out loud brought another wave of tears and sniffles but Stephen, having confirmation that 'holy shit the feeling's mutual', sits up to look at Hosuh and says "If you like me too much, that makes me annoyingly overbearing with how I feel about you." Hosuh slowly starts to smile wide, pulling Stephen back in for a tighter hug.
They stay that way until Hosuh is through with crying, Stephen breaking the silence with "By the way, I did think waking up holding the pillow was weird." Hosuh laughs a tear-less laugh at that, ignoring the sentence entirely when he says "I'm gonna kiss you, is that okay?" and Stephen's interest is very much piqued at the offer, and without thinking of the circumstances of how drunk they both are, says a little too enthusiastically, "Oh hell yeah."
Hosuh laughs at him before nudging Stephen to sit up, and Stephen pulls Hosuh up with him. It was only a couple seconds of sitting up before Hosuh got hold of Stephen's face and gave him a big kiss on the lips. Stephen had to catch up with the surprise, sure he was expecting it, but Hosuh's more eager than he is! Hosuh pulls away with a big smile, eyes mirroring it, before saying excitedly "I wanna do that again, can we kiss again?" Stephen, finding his energy contagious, says so obviously "Of course," And Hosuh doesn't waste a second to get his lips back on Stephen's, which very quickly turned into making out.
Stephen couldn't even tell you how it got there, nor the moment he supposedly said "We need to eat our mangoes!", but he vividly remembers the stickiness and taste of their mouths. That's probably what reminded him about the mangoes, actually! They had maneuvered their way to the kitchen for snacks, Hosuh bringing their now finished mango plates with, but along the way, the alcohol in Stephen got the best of him. He quickly leaned on the nearest wall as he slowly collapses to the ground with the only warning for Hosuh being an uncomfortable sound.
Hosuh ditched the plates on the counter nearby to quickly grab him from under the arms, which makes him have the same energy as a cat picked up the same way would have. "The king has fallen!!! I've got you!!!" Hosuh exclaims as he pulls Stephen up with some grunts. He then hugs him to make sure he doesn't retreat to the floor, and Stephen leans into it without putting his arms around him, just existing in it. Stephen meant to say 'Thank you,' but it came out as grumbly phonetics of 'aen ooh'. "You're welcome," Hosuh says in that simple and cute way of his, having understood him completely. Huh!
Stephen and Hosuh are close proximity in the kitchen, unable to completely leave the other's side, all because they wanted other snacks. And they had to clean the dishes, but Stephen was doing the most with that. "Ooh, graham crackers, all for meee?" Hosuh says, already grabbing them from the cabinet. With his back turned, cleaning dishes at the sink, Stephen judges Hosuh's choices, "Just graham crackers?" "I like them." Hosuh says simply but with the way emphasized the syllables, it's probably defensive.
"They're so bland! You're so boringgg," Stephen teases jokingly, as Hosuh comes over and wraps his arms over Stephen's shoulders from behind, leaning his head on him. It makes Stephen smile. "I learned it from the best, and you always say you're the best, so..." "I'm gonna splash you with water." Hosuh laughs at Stephen's quick threat, thinking it's empty. Stephen however, loves to do things out of spite.
"You think I'm joking," Stephen leads, before raising a hand over himself and flicking downward at where Hosuh's head rests on his back. Hosuh squeals as he rips his arms away from Stephen, laughing immediately after. "That's what I thought! Ohp- Cat." Stephen interrupts himself when Mickey curiously stalks around Stephen's legs. Hosuh luckily saves him from the worry of accidentally stepping on him by getting his attention, "Mickey! C'mere," Stephen hears the quietest of claps behind him as Mickey walks away from his legs.
Stephen finishes cleaning the dishes and when he turns around he sees Hosuh sitting on the kitchen floor petting the cat, whom lazes on the floor. "Floor dirty, get up," Stephen says, unknowingly avoiding the words 'the' and 'is'. Hosuh gives a big sigh before saying "Ohhhkaaay..." in an exaggerated sad-whiny tone, getting up with the same attitude in how he tilts his head. "Where'd you put the- Oh," Stephen gets the graham crackers from the counter but Hosuh snatches them right back and he lets it happen, looking in the cabinet for a snack of his own.
"...This all sucks." Stephen states, despite liking a lot of the snacks, "None of them are appealing to me." Hosuh lets him stand there and think before chiming in with, "Graham crackers?" "No..." Stephen says disappointedly, before settling on... "Bread." Stephen closes the cabinet and goes to the bag of bread, pulling out two slices and taking a munch of the both of them like a sandwich.
"Oh, so graham crackers are bland and boring, but you eat plain bread, okay..." Hosuh teases and once Stephen swallows the bite of bread he fires back with "Sorry, I don't like cardboard." Stephen then sees Hosuh's eyes go wide as he suddenly bursts out with "We should make a pillow fort! A blanket fort! Like in the living room or something," Stephen spares a nod and a point of the finger, saying "That's so awesome and let's do it, but I need to piss."
Hosuh laughs at the sudden TMI, and Stephen quickly follows up with, "I- I just remembered I had a bladder, and it's yelling at me." Hosuh waves him off with his not-graham-cracker-packaging-holding hand, demanding him to "Go pee! I'll get blankets and stuff, where do I get them?" Stephen was going to start walking until the question made him pause to answer, "In... My... Room. My closet. I have backup sheets and blankets. You can take my pillows with." "Okay!" Hosuh immediately leaves the graham crackers on the counter and rushes past him to get to his room, and Stephen leaves him to his devices.
When Stephen is out of the bathroom, he peeks into the living room and sees a mess of a creation. Sheets on the floor, sheets on the couch, and Hosuh's scrambling to get out of a maze of sheets he got trapped in. Stephen walks over to the writhing sheet monster and pulls it off, and since Hosuh didn't expect him he yelled out a little before remembering it's only Stephen. When Hosuh is revealed his hair is a mess. "Were you stuck?" Stephen can't help but laugh a little, but with a big smile Hosuh says "No, I just wanted someone handsome to save me if I were," before immediately saying after in a less lovey tone, "Okay, well, I was a little lost."
Stephen turns to the kitchen with a nose-laugh, saying "I'm getting you water." and Hosuh complains with a "Nooo!" though Stephen ignores it, "If you're getting lost in sheets, I think that's a problem! You're getting water you stupid stupid," ending with name-calling, lovingly. Hosuh vocally complains from the living room with assorted groans. Stephen gets two cups and fills them both, carefully bringing them over to the low table where Hosuh was currently inbetween that and the couch of in his sheet catastrophy.
Completely over it the second Stephen is back, Hosuh inquires "Hey Stephen, by the way, you have weird stuff in your closet." Oh no. "It's all very normal, I don't know what you mean," Stephen bluffs without meaning to be believed, "There was a body pillow cover of Mirio folded on the top of your dresser in there?" "Lalalalala not listening!" Stephen jokingly avoids his closet oddities, laughing once he's done talking.
"It was very strange. Can you make the fort, I think I'm too drunk and tired, I'm sorry..." Hosuh's tone immediately went sorrowful once he concluded the closet questioning, sadly looking downwards like a guilty dog. "I can, you're fine! As long as you drink water. And eat your graham crackers. Also you drank more than me, you probably need to pee but you can't tell, I get it," When Stephen finishes his list of demands for Hosuh, Hosuh mutters a "Oh no, you're right," before grabbing for Stephen's shirt as a guide to stand up, lingering at where he stands in front of Stephen after.
Hosuh stares at Stephen with a little smile, happily wobbling his body side-to-side like a Mii in Tomodachi Life when they eat something they like, before breaking the silence to ask "...Can I get a kiss?" Stephen hits him with a fast deny, knowing it was coming with how Hosuh was acting, "No, you have to take care of yourself." Hosuh bargains, grabbing hold of Stephen's hand as though it'd convince him, "One kiss and I'll go piss. Hey, that rhymes!" "Nuh-uh, go on," Stephen moves past Hosuh to cut off any further offers, and fortunately Hosuh doesn't keep trying out of spite and leaves for the bathroom.
While he's gone, Stephen gets the sheets in order first off. He doesn't know how Hosuh was able to make such a flurry of sheets everywhere. Stephen in proficient in specifically one kind of fort, and he briefly moves the cups and their phones off the low table to scooch it out of the way so he can replace the space with the other completely different looking couch in the room. Wasn't too hard, Stephen is a strong man, he helps his mom bring in the groceries! And that's the extent of it recently.
Next was actually forming it, so from his neat sheet pile, Stephen grabbed one and started by stuffing one corner in between one of the couch corners between the back cushion and the armrest, and then with the adjacent corner the same for the other couch. he stuffs the other side of the sheet into middle divots of the back cushions on the couches, and repeats similarly with other sheets until he has formed a nice little bunker.
It was by that time Hosuh had come out and saw it, "What the fuck, how'd you do that?!" Stephen bursts out laughing at the immediate swear, but picks Hosuh's water cup from where he set it on the ground safely and handed it to him, "Drink water, I've got this. You can sit on the couch still," Hosuh takes both offers, going back to sit on the couch where he was before, trying not to mess up any of the sheets overhead.
As Stephen was bringing the pillows over, Hosuh chimed in with "Can we push the couches together? Make it like a bed kinda sorta," Stephen stops in his tracks and is silent for a moment, raising a pointer finger before saying "Good idea." Stephen drops the pillows on the couches before going to the couch he had to move earlier and pushing it closer, "Lift your legs," he warns in advance. The closing of the space made the sheet droop however, which makes Hosuh squeal "Aahhh!" in an unalarmed, fake scared way as it falls onto his face.
"Sorry, sorry," Stephen says in a silly way but means it in passing. Once the couches are pressed together, Stephen tucks the sheets in more until it's stable and straight again. Unlike Stephen. Stephen catches a glance of Hosuh sitting inside the now fort-tunnel drinking his water well before grabbing the blankets and tossing them into the tunnel. He much more carefully brings their phones to sit at the floor outside of the fort for quick grabs. With that done, he gets the package of graham crackers from the kitchen counter, his own glass of water off the ground, and sloppily makes his way in the tunnel.
Stephen settles in across from Hosuh, who's saying "Ooh, mine," before snatching the graham crackers to keep them close to him. Stephen jostles around with the blankets, draping them over their legs, "You know what... this is quite cozy." Stephen remarks before finally getting down water. To be honest, Stephen has sweat so much in forming this blanket fort that he thinks he sweat out the alcohol in his system. He's not even sure if that's possible, which is a good reason why he should be getting water down.
Hosuh leans out the side of the fort to place his glass down before opening the graham cracker packaging and getting some crumbs on the couch, and immediately starts profusely apologizing, "Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry," He starts picking at every crumb on the couch to toss it out the entry hole. Stephen just laughs, "Eat your graham crackers! It'll make more crumbs anyway, we have a lint roller, I can use that to get the crumbs after!" Hosuh sighs and accepts Stephen's solution, grumpily eating his graham crackers.
Soon after, Stephen went to get the lint roller in advance since he was starting to feel drowsy. He didn't want to pass out on Hosuh, so he gave his body something to do instead. When Hosuh was done eating his graham crackers, it was promptly cleaned up. In the middle of that, Stephen pretended he didn't want a graham cracker square but he actually did. Hosuh forced him to munch on a square, except it wasn't forced, he was really wanting a graham cracker but he didn't want to be faced with how he called them bland and boring earlier. Hosuh teased him anyway.
"I'm so tired and I don't know why..." Stephen says, fittingly exhausted. He readjusts the pillow on his side of the couches, intending to lay down but... "Nooo, don't sleep yet! I'm not done with kissing you!" Hosuh whines, and Stephen can't deny that it was kinda cute. "There's always tomorrow, you'll be here still, c'mon!" Stephen lays down, settling his head on the pillow and grabbing hold of the blankets.
It's been a while since he slept on a couch, but has it always been this uncomfy? Must be because he's just SO tall, VERY tall and handsome. Nah, it's probably just the two couches connecting. Hosuh messes with his own pillow but with a huffiness to it, and Stephen can't tell if he's acting grumpy or is grumpy. Probably playing around. "I'll turn the lights off, you're already sleeping," Hosuh meant 'laying down', but Stephen's not gonna diction-check a still sobering Hosuh.
Much like Stephen, Hosuh sloppily clambers through the fort hole before going to turn off the lamps in the room. "You gonna be able to find your way back in the dark okay?" Stephen says in a teasing way, but he does worry considering how clumsy Hosuh is. "I'm fiiine," Hosuh reassures, but the second he turns out the last lamp and it's dark, he goes "I don't know where I am!!" In a tone that seems sorta serious sorta exaggerated fear.
"Echolocation, follow my voice!" Stephen shouts out, and proceeds to make various mouth sounds until he feels a thunk against the outside of the fort. "I'm here, where's the hole," Hosuh says exasperated and panicked, but Stephen's immaturity laughs at the wording. "Shhh!!" Hosuh shushes but laughs as he does since he noticed his own wording too late. Hosuh gets through, desperately crawling his way back to where he pillow was to lay down next to Stephen. "Hi!" Hosuh says, with sudden joyful enthusiasm that ignores all his hardship to get here. Stephen just laughs.
Disregarding Stephen's laughter, "Do you wanna cuddle? I wanna be big spoon," Hosuh says, taking initiative. Stephen agrees internally but decides to be annoying outwardly, "But I'm taller, shouldn't I be big spoon?" And Hosuh mimics his tone when he replies back "But I don't care that you're taller, I want to hold you."
Stephen internally beats up the butterflies that he got from that and does fake little grumbles before turning to face the back of the couch he lays on, scooching backwards towards Hosuh. The indent between the two couches feels awkward, but Hosuh doesn't care, he's focused on holding Stephen like he's trying to encompass his entire body. It's nice. It's all been nice, and that confuses a sobering Stephen.
A Stephen that, for ever since he was a teenager, had long since given up on the idea of enjoying anything affectionate. A Stephen that never really wanted anything affectionate because it was never comfortable or something he wanted. And yet, he's a Stephen that found himself feeling safe and warm and loved from Hosuh's touch. This has always been normal between them, and that's the point. Stephen just never put it on the same level as everything else affectionate because Hosuh is his friend and that's different, but the actions are the same. It shocks him how easy it was to kiss Hosuh, how normal it felt though it was new.
Speaking of, Hosuh started kissing Stephen's skin and that scared him out of his late-night thoughts. He didn't jolt then, but when he did was when Hosuh kissed his neck, instinctively tensing and covering his neck. Hosuh just laughs before Stephen clarifies, "My neck is sensitive! Warn me, jeeeez," Stephen jokes around with his tone because it isn't that serious to him, it just felt weird.
Once that's over and they've both snuggled up again, Hosuh doesn't try it again. Stephen doesn't like that, but he's also stubborn and bad at sharing his feelings. He gets over himself to get out the words, "You can try it again, I wasn't able to tell if I liked it or not," in a bit of a pouty tone he did not intend for.
Hosuh silently takes the offer, and Stephen can tell he's being a lot less spontaneous with his movements, probably trying not to disturbs Stephen's sensitivities immediately and Stephen himself is trying to control his muscles from tensing because of the same thing Hosuh's being conscious of. It took a while, but Stephen was able to confidently relax into the neck kisses because of the repetition. And Stephen enjoys it! Hosuh would probably appreciate it if Stephen said so. "After the research we have conducted, I have decided it feels nice." In response he hears a tiny "Yay!" near his ear.
Hosuh soon had his fill with kissing Stephen's skin, finally laying to rest and readjusting his already snug hold on Stephen for good measure. Stephen feels happy in the moment. When his brain finally lets him sleep, it's a good one.
~~~
When Stephen woke up, he was sprawled over Hosuh. The lighting was dim meaning it was early enough for the sun to be out, and early enough for Hosuh to be awake before him, combing his fingers through the back of his mohawk. Oh. Oh no. Oh no this is a lot and a lot of things Stephen forgot to think more about the consequences of.
Stephen is happy, really! Really, he is, but it's a little overtaken by, well, panic, nervousness, dread, and fear! Maybe more and maybe he isn't placing those feelings right, but the point is, there is a pit in his stomach and it's yelling 'This is too much too fast, you need to stop this and get away from the predicament right now or you're going to freeze up and be unable to execute everyday functions for the entire day.' Which functions you ask? It's a grab bag. Speech? That could become extremely difficult. Eating? That could become avoidable.
Stephen doesn't want to find out what's going to happen if he doesn't get away from the problem he cultivated immediately. Hosuh noticed before he could try to act casual and make a run for his room to level himself, "Stephen, you're breathing really fast, are you okay?" His morning voice is adorable, but Stephen needs an excuse and maybe a detour. He shifts out of Hosuh's hold to the fort exit, holding a fist to his mouth, and then putting a finger up. Trying to pretend he's telling him he's about to throw up, and then quickly getting out of the fort— Ow his knees ache, oh no he stood up too fast, —and making the detour to the bathroom.
Stephen didn't look behind him so he doesn't see if Hosuh was going to follow after, but he is now safe in the bathroom of all places. Not ideal, not exactly a safe space. In his room Stephen has a little 'calm down' box. It's literally just a big cardboard box he keeps in the back of his closet folded up, and he hides under it like a turtle with it's shell when he gets overwhelmed. It's something that mutes his senses that get the most bothered so he can escape whatever made him overwhelmed for a little, and he doesn't have that here.
Stephen tries an alternative, identifying random objects in the bathroom and mentally organizing them into categories. He had only got to categorizing toothpaste and toothbrushes together before Hosuh called from outside the door, "You okay? I got you some water," Stephen isn't good at lying, but Hosuh is easy to lie to, but Stephen's morals hate lying to Hosuh of all people. This sucks so fucking bad. "I'm okay," Stephen forces it out but it feels so wrong, his tone's probably off... "Okay, can I come in? No, actually, I'll leave the cup on the ground, careful coming out." Hosuh sounds so sad. Stephen can't do this, he can't lie to such a kind and deceivable person.
And yet, he listens as Hosuh walks away, and waits a minute to make sure he doesn't come back. He knows because he counted up to 60, all while trying to keep his breathing steady. In these moments, all the fearful thoughts are creeping back up on Stephen again. The thoughts of how they're gonna make this work, the thoughts of how there's no way it'll work, now with bonus doubting thoughts of what a terrible partner he'd be if he's lying like this. Stephen can't keep hiding in here.
He opens the door in the quietest way he knows, peeking to see where Hosuh is before continuing. Hosuh is sitting in the fort, on his phone. Stephen continues to be as quiet as his lanky man body can be, carefully picking up the glass, before walking on his tip-toes over to his room. He doesn't bother making it look like he was still in the bathroom, he just goes.
In the same way he opened the bathroom door, he closed his bedroom door. Now he's allowed to be outwardly frantic. Quickly setting the glass of water down on his desk, he gets looking in his closet to grab the folded cardboard in the back. Once he gets it back into it's square shape, he drops it to quickly go turn on the fan in his room because he needs his hearing to be pre-occupied, then rushing back to the box to turtle under it.
Stephen has this problem where he's a lot louder than he intends to be, even in his movements. Which is why though he's already under his box, curled up and tearing up trying to come up with counter arguments to all the negative thoughts in his head, he can hear his door open. There isn't a voice yet though, so Stephen just tries holding back any gross crying sounds of his in hopes Hosuh will think he isn't in here and not notice the Solid Snake box trick.
Holding it back is hard, especially when Stephen can tell he's still in his room and isn't leaving. The movement completely stopped, but Stephen knows he didn't go out the door. Weirdly enough, this focusing so hard on the location of Hosuh is distracting him perfectly from his thoughts, but that just means he's going to end up directing his upset-ness at something other than himself. He dares peek from under his box, fingers showing themself before anything else, and he stops there since it's then Hosuh says "You wanna talk?" in a careful tone, one that worried about him.
Stephen wants to say 'I don't want to, go away, it's your fault anyways' just to drive Hosuh away, but he's an adult, and he knows better. Despite all of his very overwhelming thoughts and feelings, he carefully constructs a sentence, with very eloquent wording.
"...Hosuh, I'm fucking terrified!" He says it louder than he intended to, and maybe with a bit more anger than he actually feels, but it's a start. "Why?" Hosuh asks it so kindly, but the bad thoughts gnawing at Stephen's brain say Hosuh sure he wouldn't have if Stephen weren't ugly crying.
Stephen tucks his fingers back into the box to hold himself through his his wave of emotion, "I don't- It's so- It's a lot!! It's so much, I- I love you so much, but it's a lot to think about! And I- We have so much to discuss, and we were both drunk off our asses, and I'm still so... I feel jumbled, Hosuh! Very jumbled!"
Stephen worries he isn't getting enough to the point, he remembers to breathe in before continuing, "I- Let me do the communication structure practice thing, I feel uncomfortable with how little discussion went on because... Because I do, I don't know!! I'm talking a lot, sorry," Stephen hopes to conclude like so in an attempt to diminish his worries, to make seem less important to him, craving to be told he's just being dramatic so he can get over it.
However, Hosuh isn't like that, because he catches his contradiction, "Isn't that the point, it's good you're talking!" Stephen can feel some thuds of movement coming closer as Hosuh continues, "Stephen, I'm glad you're telling me, and I'm sorry that... Me being drunk and needing physical touch played a part in making you upset, it's normal that you're uncomfortable that we didn't talk enough about how we felt more! Let's make that effort, let's start now!" Stephen notices how Hosuh readjusted how he sat before changing his tone to sound a bit scripted. That little thing made him smile. "Hi, I'm Hosuh, I like spending time with my lovely person and I like the parts where we kiss and hold hands and whatever. How about you? ... Sorry if that came off sarcastic."
Stephen laughs. He forgets when he stopped crying, but he's laughing now. He gathers himself so he can say, "Hi, I'm Stephen, uh... I also like spending time with my partner, and I would like to enjoy the physical aspects of what one might call a 'romantic relationship'," Hosuh laughs at his weird verbose wording, but Stephen ignores him to continue, "I am open to that and I have enjoyed it thus far, I am just nervous about that but more-so other things. My favorite things are long walks on the beach and being understood, and my dislikes are long walks, sand, and expressing myself. Welcome to my blog." Stephen bursts out in laughter at the end of his semi-serious monologue of half improv half serious, contrasting Hosuh's quiet fit of laughter.
Feeling a lot more grounded and safer now, Stephen calmly flips off his box disguise to see Hosuh sitting right in front of him. Stephen's the one who goes for a hug, and he does it for himself. When Hosuh holds him back with that little extra squeeze he always puts in, Stephen can feel everything negative occupying his being melt away, making space for a warm fluffy feeling in his chest.
Stephen isn't completely settled though, as much as he'd like to live in the moment. "Hosuh... You're not staying for long." Hosuh sighs and rubs his hand up and down Stephen's back when he responds solemnly "Yeah..." It takes Stephen a moment to get his words right, enjoying the comfort in the meantime. "How's this gonna even work? I'd love to live with you eventually, but that isn't anytime soon of course, and besides, getting a place to live in this economy? So..." Stephen does little hand gestures as he holds Hosuh, which he realizes is really dorky and Hosuh definitely knows he's doing it.
Hosuh soon responds after some thought of his own, "Well... We've dealt with time away from each other any other time. Though relationships are different, I guess. I think we'll be okay until we get a place. Nothing's stopped us from being friends, so the world's gonna have to try even harder now." Though he should be digesting Hosuh's words, he immediately follows after him with a correction of "Best friends." "Right, best friends, my bad. Very different," Hosuh accepts the correction but with a sarcastic tone.
That out of the way, Stephen is back to the conversation he started, "Anyway, I trust you. And... I feel very understood by you, and trust me that is very high praise, and I want to put in effort for us to work, so... I'll express myself," Stephen strains that phrase and does a fake vomiting sound at the very idea of speaking his deepest thoughts, "And I trust you'll do the same considering how open and honest you are already. To your detriment."
Hosuh laughs, always knowing Stephen means well through all his teasing and japes. He grabs Stephen's face to stroke his thumbs where his tears were falling earlier, still a little moist there. Stephen doesn't mind the hold, feeling quite cradled really, but he tilts his head down and points at his forehead for a kiss. Hosuh obliges, but one kiss wasn't enough for him as he strays from his forehead to everywhere else on Stephen's face.
Stephen laughs at the weird feeling before lightly batting at Hosuh's shoulder and saying, "Alright, alright! I still feel a little blah from big negative emotions, but I would like to know what time it is so I can know if I should be eating." Hosuh stopped, hands retreating to hold Stephen's. Still with a big smile, eyes reflecting, "Oh it's like 8 in the morning, you hungry?" Stephen shakes his head and becomes direct sort of jokingly with his speech, "I shouldn't be hungry at this time. Back to bed with us."
"Us?" Hosuh asks with a laugh, probably predicting a silly innuendo, and being semi-correct when Stephen says "By association. Get in my bed. We need to discuss our relationship in great detail." Hosuh laughs, and Stephen takes a moment to wonder if his monotonizing tone makes him look funny. "Okay, well in that case," Hosuh's first to stand up, pulling Stephen up with him by the arms before keeping him close in a small sort-of hug.
It's this moment that Stephen's brain reminds him of something so he says "Oh, we have to disassemble our fort." Hosuh ushers him over to the bed with light pats to his lower back, dismissing the very thought of the fort, "If it's not eating time, it's not cleaning time," Stephen's first to get on his bed, laying down awkwardly on his back since he doesn't know what kind of comfortable Hosuh's gonna get, ready to readjust any second for when he's hopefully able to lay his head on Hosuh's chest.
When Hosuh also lays on his back, Stephen fumbles a little getting himself over to rest his head on Hosuh's chest. Hosuh endearing laughs at how he tripped over his own arms on the way over, and immediately accepts the touch Stephen was wanting.
It's a short bit silent, Stephen almost being lulled by the rise and fall of Hosuh's chest and his heartbeat, until Stephen starts talking, "...I feel like we glossed over it, so I'm just hammering it in, we are both very lucky that I trust you so much as to be doing anything physical of the romantic sort with you," Stephen hopes it doesn't come off as looking for praise of 'Look at me, I'm doing things I thought I'd never like!!' but Hosuh responds in a tone Stephen can't pin down, "I know, I'm a very lucky man. Are you doing it for me or for yourself, though?"
Stephen pauses on that one. It takes him a minute as he thinks over various instances of yesterday and today. "...When I do it, I do it because I want to, because I know what it means when I do these things. When you do it, it takes me a second to get used to it and accept it, but I think I'll get used to it eventually. Just different." In comparison to how long Stephen took, Hosuh is a lot faster to remark on Stephen's answer with a roundabout explanation, "Making your own decisions with physical touch makes accepting it easier for you because you have control over that."
Oh! Well, yeah it's probably a control thing and not in a mean or weird way, but it's still also because it's a way of expressing how he feels without needing to talk or when talking is hard. Stephen needs to clarify one thing, "...Probably! But I mean, I can't exactly tell you to not initiate when you want to, right now it's sometimes sudden and it's definitely different. I assume that's normal. ... That is normal right?" Hosuh was pondering on that for a second too long since Stephen started to be self-conscious, but Hosuh quickly got back to him after that with, "Stephen, I'm gonna need you to make me a list of romantic things I have done so far and how you feel about each of them individually."
Hosuh says it so casually as a new topic despite Stephen's genuine question, "But is it normal?!" Hosuh responds with a sort of joking exasperation, "Yes it's normal, you're fine! I'm just being considerate with your issues with physical touch!" "Oh," Stephen processes that. It's kind of weird to have someone who actually cares about his apprehension with touch. However... "I'll do that, but here's the problem, I have a hard time pinning down my feelings?! Like, what do you want me to do, go on a long arduous soul seeking journey to pin down the exact emotion?" Stephen accentuates his words with poking a finger onto Hosuh's chest.
"No, silly. Just say if it's positive or negative or otherwise." Hosuh says it in a bit of a condescending tone, of which confuses Stephen a little, "What if I'm very very confused on how I feel about it?" Hosuh just smiles as he becomes endearingly accusatory, "Then write down 'very very confused', Stephen, you're thinking about it too hard!" Stephen is quick to get defensive but goes about it in a silly way, which makes him start talking too much, "I'm sorry! It's what I do! I- I've got such a- Just a humongous brain all for thinking thoughts! Be patient with me, I have many thoughts, all of the time!" Stephen laughs at himself once he's done.
Hosuh ruffles Stephen's mohawk around with a hand before relaxing his limbs, one hand over his stomach and the other loosely around Stephen, "You're alright, love. And I'll make a list of my own, we should be on the same page after all. But for now... I'm resting my eyes. Don't let me fall asleep." Stephen digests the rest of Hosuh's words late because he got caught up on the 'love' part. He should probably express this emotion. "Awesome, will do, but also that made me happy. The- When you called me love."
Stephen stared at Hosuh for his reaction and he watches his soft smile go tightlipped as he smiles with more giddy to it. "I'm happy about that." Hosuh responds very to-the-point with glee in his voice, lightly nudging Stephen a little closer to his body with his loose hugging arm. Stephen snuggles into him with a smile of his own, not because he's happy he made Hosuh happy, but because someone actually understands him.
"...Hey, so, when we inevitably become roommates in a pet-friendly apartment, do we get a dog or a cat?" "I'm resting my eyes, Stephen." "You aren't resting your ears! Anyway, as I was saying..."