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All was right in the world - or so everyone thought.
About a week after God was defeated, Dean suddenly jolted awake at 3 a.m. Although nightmares were not uncommon for Dean, they had become an infrequent occurrence since he started sleeping next to Cas. The angel had taken to sitting up against the headboard, reading books or playing games on his phone as he kept a nightly watch over Dean. This night was no different, and Dean’s abrupt motion prompted Cas to drop his book and pull Dean into his arms.
Years of repressing his feelings made it difficult for Dean to share his thoughts and emotions, but he clung tightly to Cas, taking comfort in the fact that he doesn’t have to face his fears alone. After a few minutes of the two holding each other, Cas pulled back and used a gentle hold to pull Dean’s face to his.
Resting their foreheads together, Cas softly whispered, “What’s wrong, Dean?”
A few moments pass by, the only sound being quiet huffs of breath. Dean seemed to gather himself before murmuring “It was my dad. Nothing new, but whenever I got close to you in my dream I could hear his voice in my head. I don’t care to repeat the words. I woke up when he was about to hurt you.”
Pressing a kiss to Dean’s temple, Cas pulled his lover even closer to hold him until morning arrived. Inside, he was thinking of how he could help Dean overcome his father’s prejudices. Although he’d convinced him to start thinking about therapy, a more hands-on approach might be better under the current circumstances. Suddenly remembering how they’d gotten together in the first place, Cas resolved to enlist the help of their strongest ally: The Being.
When morning arrived, Dean groggily trudged to the bathroom as Cas made his way to the kitchen. After turning on the coffee machine and preparing some toast for Dean (let it never be said that the angel can’t cook - after all, Dean’s the one who’s teaching him), Cas prayed to The Being.
Hello Your Highness. This is Castiel. I need your help to protect Dean. His father’s poisonous words still affect him after all this time, and he’s struggling with his love for me. I don’t know what to do.
A few moments later, The Being appeared in front of Cas. Their aura seemed brighter than the last time, and they had a pleased smile on their face.
“Hello Castiel. It’s good to see you and Dean are mostly doing well, aside from this little hiccup. Do not fear, for I come to you with a solution. We’ll have to enlist the help of some familiar faces though, as I’ll need a power boost. We’re going to pay little Johnny boy a visit, and maybe once Dean gets some things off his chest he’ll feel better. Give me a moment to gather my followers.”
Saying this, The Being closed their eyes and began to hum the opening notes of Angel With a Shotgun. A bright light emanated from the corner of the room, and thundering footsteps could soon be heard. They got louder and louder, until wave after wave of clowns began coming through the portal and filling the room. Just like the first time, they were decked out in full clown gear, with a green heart painted over one eye and blue heart painted over the other. They all smiled excitedly at Cas and chattered amongst themselves.
The commotion drew Dean to the kitchen, and he came running in whilst brandishing a clothes hanger.
“AGHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhuhhh?”
“Hello Dean,” The Being greeted with a grin. “We’re here to help! Alright clowns, it’s time to take a little trip to Heaven. We’re going to see John Winchester.”
“Now hold it just one second! Where did you all come from? Why do I have to go anywhere? Did you just manifest these clowns out of thin air? And did you say we’re going to see my dad? Also hi.”
“Ah you silly boy, don’t you know the clowning never stops? Your loyal followers are perpetually ready to come to your aid, clown outfits and all. It’s been a while since they saw you last, so they were all eager to come as soon as I called. Isn’t that right Hellers?”
“YES YOUR HIGHNESS!” The clown gallery shouted back.
“Now as to your second point,” The Being continued, “it appears as though you’re having some trouble with those pesky feelings of repression. I, for one, think it’s high time you faced the root of everything that holds you back - your father. No time to waste, so let’s get going! Now if you wouldn’t mind, I need a bit more energy to take everyone to Heaven, so give us a kiss please.”
Dean just stood there blinking, so Cas took it upon himself to walk over and place a soft kiss on his lover’s lips. Dean’s eyes closed in response as he pressed closer to Cas, his hands automatically finding their way home around Cas’ shoulders. After about 10 seconds, incessant screaming could be heard from the clowns, with a few phrases rising about the din.
“AHHHHH MY OTP IS KISSING… DEANCAS MAKES ME SO SOFT… HELP I CAN’T... THEY’RE SO CUTE… WAH I’M CRYING...”
The Being started glowing with a bright blue-green aura, and the light grew until it encompassed everyone in the room. They smiled and snapped their fingers, and suddenly the group’s surroundings changed. They all found themselves in front of a familiar house, and Dean’s breath hitched. He froze, and barely noticed when Cas reached for his hand to intertwine their fingers. The clowns, noticing their hero’s distress, formed a protective circle around the couple. Their entire demeanor had changed; where there were previously smiles, there were only menacing glares. Dean could suddenly understand why Sam was so afraid of clowns. Muttering could be heard here and there from the horde.
“Just wait till we get our hands on John…. I swear, if he tries any of that patented John Winchester A+ Parenting today I WILL drag him back to hell myself… I wanna hunt him for sport...” The clowns were seething.
Hearing all this, Dean feared for his father’s life - until he realized they were in Heaven. Heavy footsteps could be heard from behind the door, and it swung open with a bang to reveal a grim-faced John Winchester.
“What’s going on out here?” He grumbled.
The Being stepped forward gracefully, and spoke in a commanding manner.
“Hello John. I would say it’s good to see you, but it’s really not. Dean’s here with me, and I think there’s something he needs to say to you.”
With that, The Being waved their hand, and the sea of clowns parted to reveal Dean and Cas to a dumbfounded John. Seeing his son, he started to smile, but stopped when he looked down to where Dean was holding tightly to Cas’ hand. Noticing this, Dean’s hand twitched, but he didn’t let go.
“Um, hi dad. Good to see you.”
“Nice to see you too, son. Who is that you’ve got there?”
“This is Cas - Castiel, actually. He’s an Angel of the Lord.”
“That’s interesting. And why exactly are you holding hands with him?” John’s brow furrowed, and everyone could see the gears turning in his head. Dean blanched, but contrary to what his mind was screaming at him to do, his grip on Cas’ hand tightened. His gaze wandered over to Cas, who had remained a steady presence at his side, as always.
It was easy to admit to himself and his angel that yes, the Repressed Righteous Man ™ was indeed in love with Cas (who coincidentally had a dick), but it was another matter to say it to known homophobe John Winchester. At that moment, Dean came to an important realization. Cas was right - there is happiness in just saying it. And it was finally time for Dean to be happy.
Steeling himself, Dean raised his chin to look his father in the eyes as he proclaimed, “Because he’s mine and I love him.”
John’s eyes widened in rage as he thundered down the porch steps towards the crowd. “WHAT? What do you mean you love him? I didn’t raise you like that - I thought I beat all of thoMMPH MHMMMM MPHMM?!” Dean flinched and tightened his grip on Cas’ hand impossibly further. Cas used their entwined hands to move Dean behind him, ready to act as his lover’s shield once more. The Being glared at John, having removed his ability to speak.
“Hmmm I expected no different from a piece of trash, but to hear you speak those vile words in person… oh poor Dean. And my darling clowns, I understand your rage. It’s alright now, my precious children - you don’t have to silently listen to his nonsense anymore. I think it’s time you had a little reward for being such good followers.” The Being’s tone was nonchalant, but their gaze had hardened considerably. “Go fetch!”
At this, the clowns began to glow red, their eyes shone with a nefarious glint. They smirked and growled, and some of them began pulling weapons out of seemingly nowhere. Within a minute, the majority of them held swords, chainsaws, wooden bats, whips, and shotguns, and the rest simply curled their hands into fists. Seeing all this, John began backing away with increasing speed. As the first clown took a step towards him, he took off running. The rest of the clowns followed gleefully, intent on making Dean’s tormenter pay.
“CATCH THESE HANDS, JOHNNY BOY… I’M GONNA BE UNDER YOUR BED TONIGHT… YOU HURT MY SMOL BBY, NOW PREPARE TO PAY… GET HIM!...”
Dean and Cas looked on, frozen in shock and unsure of how to handle this situation. On the one hand, they were in Heaven so no lasting damage would be done to John. On the other, it was pretty satisfying for Cas to see John getting a taste of his own medicine. Dean was torn between wanting to help his father and letting the clowns take revenge for him. The Being walked over to the pair, looking pretty satisfied with themselves.
“Hmmmm, that should keep him busy for a while. Don’t worry, they’re not gonna hurt him... much. How are you feeling, Dean, now that you’ve gotten that off your chest?”
“Well he reacted about as well as I expected, but I can’t deny that it felt great to say it to his face. I don’t think the nightmares are gonna go away anytime soon, but at least I don’t have to hide anymore.”
“That’s good. And you won’t be dealing with any of this alone, of course. Cas is here to protect you and your heart. Speaking of which, don’t you want to get in on the fun, Cas?”
“No, but thank you, Your Highness. If I start, I’m afraid I won’t stop until his entire soul is smote out of existence, but I could never do that to Dean. However, I can’t believe those clowns are really so angry on our behalf. Their love really is on another level.“
“Ah, ever the diplomat. You’re really too nice, Castiel. It’s ok, I’ll do it for you!”
By this time, John had been caught by the clowns. After all, even though many clowns spend a lot of time reading fanfiction and creating beautiful art for their OTP, their athletic prowess when motivated by pure rage is nothing to laugh at. He’d been tied to a tree, and as the clowns with sharp tools were advancing menacingly towards him, others were beginning to light a fire beneath his feet. The Being snapped their fingers, and everyone froze. They snapped again, and John was transported to a kneeling position before The Being.
He raised his head, fear rife in his eyes. “Using fear as a means of getting your own way really isn’t nice, now is it? Dean, do you have anything else you want to say to your father before I release him?”
Dean straightened up and raised his chin, stepping out from behind Cas to face his father properly. John looked back at him, still unable to speak.
“Yeah, I do. Just so you know, it turns out I’m bisexual - although if we’re being specific I’m strictly into angel dick now. I love my angel and he loves me and I’m going to marry him soon, if he wants that.” A collective GASP could be heard from the clowns and Cas, who looked at Dean with a starry-eyed expression. “Also I hate that you left Sam and I alone so much when we were younger. And I hate that you made me hate myself. And I wish that things had been different. But they aren’t, and I’m so lucky that I found someone who cares so much about me anyway. Good bye, Dad. I hope I don’t see you again until you can accept who I am, even if that’s never.”
With that, Dean turned to address The Being. “Can we go home now?”
“Sure! Lemme just take out the trash first.”
The Being stepped up to where John was kneeling in the mud, head bowed. They used their hand to tilt John’s chin up, until he was looking directly into The Being’s blazing eyes. “Hmmm we’re almost done here, Johnny, don’t worry. Now, this one is for Cas.”
They tightened their right hand into a fist and drew it back, and after a moment delivered a supersonic punch directly to John’s nose. He immediately crumpled and moaned weakly, but no one moved to help him. The Being shook out their fist, and gleefully spoke.
“Great, that takes care of that! We are in Heaven after all, so he’ll be ok in some time. I do have a little influence here, so it won’t be soon though. Let’s get everyone home, shall we? Boys, give us a little smooch please!”
Dean chuckled and turned to a very proud-looking Cas. “I can’t believe I’m about to kiss a dude-shaped angel in front of my dad.“ He raised his free hand to cup Cas’ cheek and firmly pressed his lips to Cas’. The clowns went honkers, as usual, and The Being snapped their fingers to whisk everyone back to where they belonged. As the blue-green glow grew to envelop everyone, Dean pulled back from Cas’ lips to shout, “AND GUESS WHAT? HE FUCKS ME AND I LOVE IT!” He cackled, and within a couple of seconds they were all back in the Bunker’s kitchen.
“Oh man, that was fun. Thank you, Cas. You always know what to do to help me.”
“No need to thank me, Dean. It was all Your Highness.”
“But you’re the one who called them. You’re the best.”
Of course, this led to Cas blushing, which then led to a chorus of AWWs from the clown audience.
“Well boys, this was fun. It looks like there’s another couple that needs my assistance now, so if there’s nothing else, I’ll be off. Clowns, exit through that portal when you’re ready. I’m always here for you, so send me a little prayer if you want to chat! Toodles!” The Being waved and snapped themselves off to wherever they were needed.
Like last time, the clowns were much slower to go. They had missed their favorite couple so much, and wanted to know everything that had happened since they had seen them last. Dean was a little uncomfortable with all the attention, but Cas handled it like a pro. After a while, the clowns could sense that Dean was getting a little restless, so they opted to take their leave. They hugged Dean and Cas goodbye, and then trailed slowly into the portal.
When the last clown had left, Dean and Cas took a moment to look at each other. Slowly, a giant smile broke out on Dean’s face, and it was quickly reflected in Cas’. They collided in the middle of the kitchen, holding on to each other tightly. Dean shifted until his face was right by Cas’ ear, and he whispered, “You heard the last thing I said to Dad, right?”
“Yes.”
“Wanna go do that?”
“Right now?”
“Of courMMPH MMM!” Smothering each other with kisses, it’s safe to say Dean and Cas had a very enjoyable rest of their morning.
It would still take time for Dean to get better expressing himself, and he still had issues and trauma to work through, but they had taken one step forward. Most importantly, they had each other, and they would spend the rest of time safe, happy, together, and so so so in love, just like they deserved.