Work Text:
How would you describe a perfect life?
For Pina, that was hard to tell. He always thought he had a very good life, but it wasn't perfect yet. Something was still missing, something that would complete the empty space he had inside his heart. For a very long time, though, it didn't actually bother him. He didn't consider himself particularly greedy, much less ambitious. Other animals tended to work hard to hide or fill in the gaps that they believed they had, trying to appear complete and perfect before the world.
But what was the point of that? When he was a kid, he had read a book about some sort of almost-circular creature that was searching for a piece that would complete its shape. It searched and searched and searched, and in the process of searching it had lots and lots of fun: it could enjoy the journey, and the company of those who were around, too. But once it found its missing piece, it could no longer enjoy the things it used to do. It was a stupid story, but the message had been clear: sometimes, you can just be happy without having everything, without having to be complete or perfect.
And so, Pina decided to live that way. There was no need for him to try and be perfect: he had already been blessed with beautiful looks, and that was already good enough. He would just have fun doing what he wanted to do and enjoying those around him instead of searching endlessly for someone or something that might make him just miserable.
That was, until the brown bear appeared.
Pina had always felt that something had been missing, but had never given it much thought. Because he wasn't greedy or ambitious, and he didn't feel like working hard when he was already happy with his life. However, the moment that stupid carnivore appeared, Pina's conviction had been doomed. At first he tried to convince himself that visiting and buying gifts didn't count as working hard, not even when he started missing activities and the like. Then he tried to come up with excuses as to why he suddenly felt so desperate for Riz to accept him and hold him in great regard, even if it had been Riz who had hurt him in the first place.
But it all came crashing down once he couldn't think of any explanation as to why, when they were together, he felt as if that big hole in his heart had been filled with something warm.
Was that what true happiness felt like? It was addictive, to put it simply. Riz was addictive. It was as if he had magically appeared in his life to make everything better, and bring it to that state of perfection that Pina always thought would be impossible for him to achieve.
But it was real. Everything would be perfect, as long as they stayed together.
The smell of pancakes reached him before the sound of the alarm did.
"Morning, sunshine." Was the next thing he heard, just at the same time someone silenced his phone. And before he could open his eyes, Riz was already pressing his lips against his white cheeks. His wet nose brushed lightly against his fur, making the sheep laugh.
"Hm, morning." He replied, taking one hand up to rub his eyes. "You woke up early."
The bear looked more like an excited puppy than a grown ursine as he grabbed the tray he had left next to their bed. "I made you breakfast."
Chuckling, the ram sat as he accepted the tray, eyeing the generous quantity of strawberries in his pancakes. "Wow, breakfast brought to my bed first thing in the morning. You sure are charming."
Riz blushed, but his smile didn't quiver in the slightest. In fact, it only seemed to grow bigger. "I hope you like it."
And of course he did, because Riz was just that good in the kitchen. The slightly sour taste of the strawberry finished waking him up, the soft texture of his pancakes left him satisfied instead of full, and his tea was just the last thing he needed to be ready for his day.
"See you later." He said later, standing on his toes and trying to reach the bear's snout. Riz reacted quickly, bending closer to give his boyfriend access to a kiss.
"I love you."
With those words and a small wave of his hand, Riz told him goodbye. This is what a perfect life feels like, Pina thought on his way to work. Because after all the things they went through, Riz was free, and they could finally live together, and everything would be perfect from now on.
Or so he had thought.
The rest of the week was almost the same: Riz was up early every day to make a nice breakfast for him, waking him up with sweet kisses all over his face. They would get ready for their days, each to their own activities, and in the evenings they'd come back and spend some quality time together as the young couple they were. Even if it didn't have the usual excitement that Pina required in his life, the peace felt nice after all the angst they'd gone through: from high school to juvenile, then to prison, and now to this place they called home.
Unfortunately, the quiet didn't last long.
"Pina-kun. Pina."
The ram's only reaction was to wag his tail slightly. He was halfway over him, sleeping soundly. Of course, it was to be expected, as it was his day off and he'd obviously like to stay longer in bed.
Riz tried to go back to sleep, but he simply couldn't. For a while (that for some reason felt like a long, long time) he just stayed motionless, looking up at the ceiling as he waited for his boyfriend to wake up. Unfortunately, he grew bored soon, so with the hand that wasn't trapped under his boyfriend's grasp he grabbed his cell, making a face at the hour displayed on the screen. It's still too early for him to wake up…
Well, shit. What was he supposed to do? He could just stay as he was, but that caused him some kind of… anxiety, perhaps. He wanted to get up and do something productive, instead of wasting his time in bed. But Pina…
When the sheep didn't answer, Riz carefully rolled him away from his side, leaving him back on the mattress. Pina moved his head and made a sound of discomfort, so the bear placed a kiss on his forehead. "Shh…"
The ram's facial features relaxed again, and so Riz took that as an opportunity to crawl out of bed. Perfect, now he could do something else. It was too early for breakfast, but he could clean the place in the meantime.
Yup. That was a good plan to kill some time.
His ear moved involuntarily at the sound of… what was that sound? It was as if something heavy was being dragged through the floor… ah, and what was that annoying buzzing? Was that the vacuum?
"Ugh." Instinctively, he grabbed the pillow next to cover his head. His horns were already annoying enough and caused him headaches in the mornings, and that insufferable noise was just making it worse. He needed his tea—
Wait. Riz was living with him, now. He was supposed to be here in bed next to him, or otherwise bringing his tea.
Throwing the pillow to the side, he sat and scanned the room searching for the bear, but he was nowhere to be seen. What he did notice, though, was that the noise coming from the living room was even louder than before.
What. The. Fuck.
Alright, too much for the perfect life. He stood up, cursing under his breath at the sudden feeling of dizziness that hit him as he did so. Nevertheless, that didn't stop him from stomping out of the room, hoping Riz had a good excuse for whatever he was doing.
And speaking of…
"What are you doing?"
Riz, who had his back to the ram and therefore hadn't noticed him, leaped before turning to look him in the eye. "Oh, Pina! Hello."
Hello. Did he just say, "hello"?
Ignoring his greeting, Pina repeated his question, although this time it sounded less confused and more annoyed. "What are you doing?"
"Oh, I'm just cleaning!" Which was actually pretty obvious, given that he was holding a feather duster in one hand, and the vacuum was still spinning on the floor.
"... I see that." The sheep muttered. "What I'm asking is, what, pray tell, are you doing up so early in the morning?"
Noticing the scary tone in Pina's voice, Riz finally understood that he wasn't in a good mood. "D-did I wake you up?"
"You did, but that's not—"
"I'm sorry! I just started moving stuff to make sure everything was clean and don't leave any corner left, but I didn't think it would wake you. I'm really sorry hon—"
"Riz-san." Pina said, holding the bridge of his muzzle to calm himself. "This isn't about waking me up. And believe me, I appreciate that you are trying to be helpful, but why now of all times? It's too early, and most importantly, it is my day off. So I ask again, what are you doing up right now?"
Riz just stared at him for a while, trying to think of an answer to that. Well, "answer" wasn't the right word, perhaps it would be more accurate to say that he was thinking of an excuse, but none came to mind.
"I couldn't sleep." He said in the end, because it was the truth. "And I just… I needed to do something."
Pina didn't say anything right away, but his face clearly expressed that he hadn't understood what he had said. "But why? Did you have… a bad dream or something?"
"No no, it's just…"
He took a pause, lowering his face in shame before continuing. "In prison, you have to wake up early, and as soon as you do you have to do your assigned chores. If you sleep over time you get a punishment, like doing the worst stuff. I simply got used to being awake before the sun came out, and now I feel weird if I stay in bed for too long."
Everything about juvenile and prison was embarrassing to talk about. Sometimes he didn't truly feel like a bear when he was there; instead, he felt like some sort of lesser creature, and it was hard not to think of himself in that way. Pina, of course, helped with that, but that just made it harder for Riz to admit this kind of thing in front of the ram.
And no wonder why, the sheep stayed silent for a while, trying to process his words. He had always thought —almost on a subconscious level— that as soon as Riz was free, their lives would become perfect. Everything was much better when he was with Riz, he felt immersively happy when he was with him, so it made sense that everything would be great, right?
But the thing is, that you can't just expect things to be perfect, much less other people. Riz, as much as Pina loved him, still had a lot of things to work on. Their life, as beautiful as it was, still had a lot of struggles prepared for them. The future was full of things to overcome.
But, well, wasn't that the fun part of being alive?
Sighing, Pina walked until he was in front of his boyfriend, and as gently as he could, he took the duster out of his hands. "Listen, sweetheart. I understand, but why don't we try to do something else? It's our day off, so let's do something together."
"But…" I won't feel comfortable.
Deciding that that last thought wasn't worth voicing out loud, he settled with: "Just go back to sleep, I promise I won't make more noise."
"Yeah, well, too late for that."
Despite those words, he didn't sound angry, but before Riz could ponder about it the ram grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the couch. On his way there he stopped just to turn off the vacuum, then sat on the corner and made a vague gesture at his own lap.
"Come on, rest your head here."
Riz raised an eyebrow, but figuring that there was no point in fighting Pina, he just shrugged and lay down, placing his head on the sheep's lap.
"I won't fall asleep, you know?"
"Good."
Apparently, Pina had grabbed the control without him noticing, and simply turned the TV on and searched for a movie with one hand, while the other moved down to stroke the bear's face.
Eventually, Riz somehow relaxed and even closed his eyes. The film was boring, but the sound felt almost like a gentle lullaby, and Pina's gentle caresses were soothing as well. He hadn't had such a quiet morning in a long time…
And it's not that he didn't like waking up early and having something to do. Quite the opposite, he loved doing Pina's breakfast, loved making him happy with something he knew he was good with, loved taking care of the other, and show how grateful he was for everything Pina had done for him.
But this? Just being together, being touched with so much love, enjoying the moment… It felt so good, too.
"We should do something different next week." Pina said suddenly, though he didn't stop running his hand through the ursine's face. "Let's play something. I bet I'll beat your ass."
Riz chuckled. Ah, yeah, maybe he wouldn't be able to sleep longer in some time, but there was no need to work hard early every day. He could still enjoy Pina's presence and just be happy (and grateful) to be with him.
Pina smiled. Their lives weren't perfect, and probably would never be. But aren't these little moments, when one is searching endlessly to make things better, the ones that end up bringing us the greatest happiness?