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There was a strange tension in the air as Monty sat on the bed, smoothing out Jasper's blindingly saturated dinosaur-printed sheets to pass the time as Jasper picked at his sleeve in silence.
"Monty, do you..." Jasper cleared his throat, finally finding his voice to speak up, "Do you maybe... uh, do you maybe wanna, like--" he audibly swallowed and rubbed the back of his neck, "--I dunno, wanna go to a movie or something..? With-- with me," he bit his lip and shook his head, "I mean, duh, obviously with me, I just mean--"
"Jasper," Monty said, cutting off Jasper's sudden rambling, "sure."
Instantly Jasper's entire face lit up: his eyes sparkled and his grin became overbearing and lopsided and he sat up straight. "Really?"
Monty cocked an eyebrow. "Uhm... yes?"
When Jasper looked away with a slight blush creeping on his face and a (weirdly?) sheepish smile, Monty decided not to think about it.
"Yo," Raven started as she carefully held the beaker Monty was pouring their current experiment's chemical concoction into, "wanna go to the movies on Friday?"
A puff of smoke eloquently exploded in Monty's face and found its way straight up his nose, triggering a coughing fit. "Dammit!" he swore as he pushed himself away from the chemistry lab table, removing his goggles.
"Whoa, whoa! Hey there, you ok?" Raven--his lab partner/classmate/friend/confidant--asked, swatting away at the cloud of smoke that was billowing out of the beaker.
Monty hacked up some smoke residue from his throat. "Ugh. Yeah, I'm fine. Oh, but I'm already going to the movies with Jasper on Friday. Sorry."
Raven swiveled in her chair and removed her goggles. "Uh, ok? I mean, we can all go together. Invite him, too!"
Monty opened his mouth to reply but stopped short to squint and look thoughtfully into the distance. "Has Jasper been acting weird to you lately?"
"Oh my god," Raven sighed theatrically (which Monty skillfully mentally-translated into English as: "here we go again"), "I dunno, Monty, I haven't noticed anything outstanding about Jasper because I don't focus on him 24/7 like he's a Greek god or something. Like you do."
"I do not! And he's obviously not a Greek god, his entire body mass would equal, like, one of Thor's wrists," Monty distorted his face at the thought (and Raven laughed), "and seriously, I mean... ok, so he asked me to a movie. Normal, right?" (Raven nodded) "So I asked, 'want me to invite Raven and Clarke?' and he said..." Monty trailed off, taking a second to furrow his eyebrows together, "He said he was hoping it'd just be the two of us."
Raven stared at Monty.
Monty stared back.
"He..." Raven gawked and her jaw dropped 9,333 feet into the ground, "He asked you out!?"
A shock ran through Monty and his eyes almost popped out of his head and he temporarily lost balance, quickly grabbing onto the edge of the table to stabilize himself. "What!? God, no, of course he didn't ask me out! That's why I asked if you noticed anything about him. I was just worried, like, what if he wanted to be alone because he needs to tell me something serious?"
"Oh, yeah, I noticed something serious about him: like he looooves you--" (Monty shot a pointed glare at Raven) "--oh, come on, Monty, what's he gonna do? Invite you to a movie to tell you he's dying of cancer?"
"That's not even funny."
"C'mon, dude! Just think about it. Man!" Raven smiled cheekily and smacked Monty on the arm, "I can't believe your love is being requited after all this time! Listen, Saturday: you, me, Clarke, and Jasper-- we're gonna celebrate."
Monty rolled his eyes. "It's not like that, Raven."
"Finally," Raven whispered to herself, completely ignoring Monty, and she swiveled around in her chair again to empty the contents of the beaker into the sink, "about time that asshole asked you out!"
It really wasn't a date, right?
Monty looked Jasper up-and-down: he was wearing a(n ironed?) button-up shirt, significantly nicer pants than usual, his hair was--well, ok, his hair was still an unbrushed, wavy mess but didn't it always look good that way, anyway?--and he smelled really, really good.
"Hey, are you ready to go?" Jasper asked with the-biggest-smile-in-the-whole-entire-world (and, for a second, Monty thought he might go blind if Jasper smiled like that all night because it was kind of adorable).
Jasper and Monty had been best friends since the day they were born: their families moved into the neighborhood within the same month, they lived next door to each other, their moms got pregnant around the same time, and their moms shared a hospital room when they went into labor together. Jasper and Monty had essentially spent their entire lives together up until this point: preschool, elementary school, middle school, high school, and now college; currently, sophomore year and sharing a dorm room.
There was no explanation, really, why last year--their freshman year--Monty had suddenly felt like he was punched hard in the stomach and somehow, painfully, regrettably, had fallen in love with Jasper.
(Although, with deeper reflection, Monty figured it might have had something to do with living alone with Jasper, enjoying and experiencing life comfortably together, shopping, eating, and solving problems together. It didn't help that Monty never felt homesick as long as Jasper was there and it didn't help even more seeing Jasper comfortable, at home, with him.
The fondness for domesticity and the fact that Monty wanted to be with someone he was already with all the time made him roll his eyes at himself.)
Despite all of this, though, one thing became apparent after these 20 years together: Jasper liked girls. A lot of girls.
Girls. Girls. And, if it was unclear, Monty was not a girl.
So when Raven suggested something as ludicrous as Jasper being in love with him and seeing Jasper weirdly dressed as if he was going on a date, it was definitely, definitely, 275% silly thoughts poisoned by Raven's words and a plethora of wishful thinking.
"Monty?" Jasper interrupted Monty's thoughts, "Are you ok? Do you still wanna see the movie?"
"Uh--" Monty stuttered, caught off-guard, "yeah-- I'm ready, sorry."
Considering the nature of Monty and Jasper's relationship, there really wasn't much that was uncommon between them: it was completely normal for Jasper to sit pressed against Monty's side on the subway ride to the theater, it was completely normal that when they arrived Jasper paid for Monty's ticket (?), snacks, and drink, it was completely normal that they were sharing everything he'd just bought (they were poor college students, after all), and it was 100% completely normal that Jasper was pulling at the collar of his shirt and struggling to maintain a conversation the entire time (??).
Monty looked at Jasper in the crowded, dark theater. Jasper was leaning over slightly again, similarly to the subway ride, his shoulder touching Monty's, his body heat radiating against Monty, feeling natural and comforting, the light from the screen framing his cheekbones (?), highlighting the cute bump on the bridge of his nose (??), his lips slightly parted as he intently watched the movie (???). Jasper glanced over, noticing Monty staring, and smiled. Monty quickly turned, looking away, suddenly aware that he wasn't paying attention to the movie at all.
"Monty?" Jasper whispered and he leaned in closer, his hair brushing against Monty's cheek, "Wanna do dinner after this?"
If this was a date, they would have planned to go out to dinner beforehand, wouldn't they?
"Sure," Monty whispered back.
And when Jasper whispered a quiet, excited "sweet!" in return and linked his arm with Monty's arm, Monty tried not to pay attention to it.
Yeah. Definitely not a date.
Whoever decided that going to a movie and having dinner together was considered a "date night" was completely out-of-line. Wasn't a movie and dinner completely normal, friend activities to do?
"Sorry I didn't plan dinner earlier," Jasper apologized for the 52nd time as he adjusted his shirt collar for the 739th time, "I... I guess I forgot."
"Jasper, I said it was fine. No worries," Monty shrugged because this wasn't a date.
There were a ton of things that factored against the typical "This Is a Date" vibe: as Best Friends Since Birth, the lines of their relationship were already blurred. Jasper was naturally affectionate so sitting close, small touches, fond smiles, not focusing on anyone else except Monty (?), asking Monty if he was having fun (??), and not breaking eye contact (???) weren't particularly out-of-the-ordinary.
"Lemme try some of your food," Jasper said at one point and reached his fork over the table (only to have Monty pull the plate away), "seriously? I thought we stopped doing that when we were, like, 15," he grumbled and made a sad attempt to glare but his smile overpowered it, "hand it over."
"No way! I'm not giving you any of my food unless you pay for it, jerk," Monty teased.
Jasper feigned insult. "What? Of course I'll pay for it!" (Monty raised an eyebrow) "Why wouldn't I? Come on--" Jasper tried to reach Monty's plate again (only to have Monty pull it back even further), "hey! That's it--" Jasper stifled a laugh and kicked Monty under the table.
"Jasper!" Monty's jaw dropped, dramatizing his disbelief, "We're in a respectful establishment," he said in the most serious voice he could muster, "we shouldn't--" (Jasper flicked a piece of bread at Monty, hitting him square between the eyes) "Jasper!" Monty pouted and quickly threw a napkin at Jasper, missing him completely, only to have it hit an old man sitting behind them.
"Sirs?" A passing waitress interrupted, eyeing Jasper and Monty suspiciously.
"Uh, uhm, sorry," Jasper cleared his throat and sat up straight.
When she walked away, Jasper and Monty broke out laughing.
"I can't believe you got in trouble at a restaurant at 20 years old," Monty snorted.
"You got in trouble too! Whatever," Jasper looked at Monty and smiled, his cheeks pink from laughing, "you're lucky you're cute."
For a second it felt like a flower bloomed in Monty's stomach and he averted his gaze, trying not to dwell on it.
"He called you 'cute'?" Raven asked, promptly knocking over an empty beaker, breaking it, and eliciting glares from various classmates around her.
"That doesn't mean anything," Monty sighed, "he's called me 'cute' a bunch of times during the course of our friendship."
"Uh, ok, so you're telling me he's always been gay for you then?" Raven asked, her voice dripping in smart ass as she cleaned up the mess she'd made.
"He's not gay, Raven--"
There was a squeak on the ground, indicating a shoe forcefully being stopped against the smooth tile. "Jasper's grabbed my ass like 3 times in the past 2 months," Bellamy--the strange required chemistry class TA with a literature degree--said suddenly, barging in on their conversation.
Monty distorted his face. "What... what the hell does that mean?"
Raven shook her head, shooing Bellamy away. "He's some type of queer, Monty, I swear to god that was a date!"
Monty sighed again only this time with 80% more exasperation emanating from his entire being.
"Listen to me," Raven turned and pointed (quite rudely) at Monty, "if he paid for your movie and meal, it was a date."
"I told him he'd have to pay for my food if he wanted to try some--"
"You're unbelievable," Raven groaned, shaking her head slowly.
"You're unbelievable!" Monty replied, crossing his arms tightly, "I'm not going to potentially ruin my entire relationship with my best friend just because you're over-analyzing our friend-hangout."
"De-ni-aaal--" Raven sang under her breath.
Monty rolled his eyes.
The next few weeks were hell. Well, "hell" if being plagued by constant thoughts of "is this or isn't this a date?" during every hangout with a best friend (thanks, Raven) was considered hell.
It wasn't that Monty was pessimistic, he was just incredibly, painfully, outstandingly realistic. Sure, Jasper had--in the past--said some guys were hot in passing but he had also said his mom looked "damn good in those jeans," (?) his grandma had "sexy legs," (??) and their 72 year old gym teacher in the 9th grade had the "beautiful jaw of a sailor" (???) and Monty was infinitely sure that Jasper wouldn't be interested in dating any of them.
(He hoped, anyway.)
So, the next few times Jasper awkwardly invited Monty to places alone, he did his best not to think anything of it.
(The only thing more pathetic than falling in love with Jasper was entertaining the idea that Jasper would ever fall for him back.)
Monty's few weeks of hell were as follows:
WEEK ONE
#1. There Really Isn't Anything Romantic about Sharing Ice Cream and Face-Touching
It'd been an excruciatingly long day: it was Monty's packed day of classes (a schedule of 3 academics plus 2 labs spread out in the least efficient way possible), he was unluckily assigned a slacker-who-was-always-absent as a project partner, his backpack was destroyed in a surprise thunderstorm, he dropped his phone in a puddle, and he forgot his laptop in class and had to run back to get it but by the time he got there it had disappeared.
"I can't believe this day," Monty seethed, trying to control his breathing after ranting to Jasper.
"It'll be ok," Jasper said as he put a towel over Monty's head, rubbing his hair dry, "we'll figure it out."
"There's nothing to figure out--" Monty started and grabbed at the towel on his head, "hey, I can do this myself."
"Uh, I don't think you can," Jasper teased, wrapping the towel around Monty's face and holding it firmly on his head, "you have stick arms."
"Hey, I can't see! And you have stick arms!" Monty struggled, blindly smacking Jasper's arms away from him.
"Monty, please, let a professional do this," Jasper continued as he tied the ends of the towel together.
"Jasper!" Monty yelped and forcefully snatched the towel up off his face, "I swear--"
But when Monty could see again, Jasper's face was close to his, his eyes softened from laughing, a faint, fond smile still resting on his lips, and Monty felt his heart skip a beat.
"I'll help you with your project," Jasper spoke up (and Monty blinked, trying to regain his composure), "and we'll put your phone in rice and I'll call campus security to see if your laptop turned up while you check the GPS before we leave."
Monty felt his cheeks burning and he tried to will himself to stop from staring so obviously into Jasper's eyes but he couldn't. "Wait, 'before we leave'..?"
"Yep, we're gonna go out. It's a surprise though," Jasper grinned (and Monty held his breath), "oh, and we'll get you a new backpack on our way back."
It was kind of annoying how Jasper could calm Monty down so successfully but, considering their history, it also made sense. Monty nodded and looked away when Jasper winked at him (embarrassingly, lamely, cutely).
The surprise adventure ended up being a visit to the best ice cream shop in the city: it was a few blocks away and usually had long lines from open to close. The situation was somewhat ridiculous--pouring rain, sharing one umbrella, the hoods of their jackets being pushed off by the wind, pressing themselves against every building to desperately try and get protection from awnings--and when they finally arrived at their destination they were completely soaked.
"We're gonna get sick, you ass," Monty tried to say accusingly through muffled laughter.
"Yeah, but I bet there won't be any lines because of the weather! It'll be so worth it," Jasper beamed.
Monty felt his breath leave him at the sight of Jasper: wet hair plastered to his face, framing his features, and water dripping down his (stupidly) radiant smile. Monty shook his head, trying to physically snap himself out of it.
They ended up sharing an ice cream cone (after getting it quickly because, like Jasper had said, there weren't any lines), struggling not to let it melt, and when Monty somehow got ice cream all over his nose Jasper made fun of him and refused to let him live it down.
When the storm finally blew over and Jasper and Monty (and Monty's new backpack) were walking back to their dorm, Jasper covered his mouth, stifling laughter.
"What?" Monty asked, eyeing Jasper (who was incredibly close, too close, and Jasper's damp sleeve stuck against Monty's, creating a weird friction, but Monty enjoyed his closeness too much to push him away).
"How is it possible for you to get ice cream everywhere? It's, like, dried to the side of your face," Jasper bit his lip, still (presumably) trying not to laugh.
"Seriously? It's your fault, you know, making us share a cone--"
"Wasn't it more romantic that way?" Jasper smiled, his eyes twinkling and, slowly, he reached his hand out, gently touching Monty's face, "Here, I got it," he said quietly.
Monty knew Jasper was just getting ice cream off his face but Jasper had leaned in and was gently stroking along his jawline, Jasper's fingers lingering slightly too long (?), and Monty's heart couldn't help but get swept away in the moment, beating 888x faster than normal.
Jasper was just being friendly and helpful, right? Right?
Monty sighed, mentally-cursing Raven. It was definitely, definitely her fault that he was even thinking about over-analyzing this.
#2. Sometimes People Hug It out and That's Ok, It's Totally Normal
A week and a half after the initial "Will You Go to the Movies with Me" Incident, Jasper had somehow managed to start up a new habit: hugging. As someone who was incredibly affectionate to begin with, a hug with Jasper wasn't particularly too outstanding or surprising. However, starting up that kind of habit at this point in Monty's life--when he was stupidly crushing on Jasper, when Raven had somehow managed to make him unconsciously question all of Jasper's actions, when he really, really didn't need more reasons to be physically close to Jasper--it was incredibly inconvenient.
Monty walked through the entrance to their room and sighed as he slipped off his shoes.
"Hey! Welcome home," Jasper greeted him cheerfully, "you're kinda late. Everything ok?"
"Yeah, our professor went overtime again, getting caught up in some personal anecdote about his cat--"
Monty was cut off when suddenly, swiftly, overwhelmingly he was caught off-guard by Jasper's arms wrapping around him, embracing him tightly.
"Uh, uhm--" Monty sputtered, looking around the room, trying to focus on anything that wasn't Jasper holding him, "--an, uh, anecdote about his cat-- uh... his cat... jump... jumping?" he said, completely forgetting what he was going to say, and slowly placed his hands on Jasper's back, patting him awkwardly.
Jasper gripped Monty tight before pulling away slowly. "Jumping?" he smiled as if this was normal and not a big deal at all, "That's weird."
"Yeah. Weird," Monty cleared his throat.
When Jasper turned and walked back over to his desk, Monty exhaled and touched his chest gently, hoping his heart wouldn't explode into a million pieces and hoping he'd never have to experience that again.
He did experience it again, though, over and over, because Jasper would hug him every time one of them came home, regardless of the time, regardless if it was multiple times a day, and Monty started to get used to it, started to like it, and started to look forward to it.
(The constant reminders that hugs--especially from Jasper--were platonic didn't help Monty like them any less.)
WEEK TWO
#3A. Well, Hey, If They Hug They Might as Well Hold Hands
"Wanna get coffee before class?" Jasper asked as he pulled on his shirt over his head.
"Yeah, sure. I'll tell Raven and Clarke to meet us," Monty said as he tightened his shoelaces.
Jasper walked over and slipped his shoes on. "Huh? No, no, just the two of us," (Monty looked up at him quizzically) "c'mon, Mont-- c'mooon," Jasper whined and pulled Monty up by his sleeve.
"You-- what are you up to?" Monty squinted, looking Jasper over suspiciously.
"Nothing!" Jasper pinched Monty's cheek (and Monty smacked his hand away), "We're gonna be with them all evening, at least let me have you in the morning."
"You're so clingy," Monty rolled his eyes and opened the door, quickly exiting the room so Jasper couldn't see the embarrassment on his face.
It was about a 6 minute walk to the cafe on campus and Monty and Jasper spent most of the time surprisingly in silence: the walk there, inside the cafe when they ordered their coffees, and some of the way back towards their respective classes. Throughout their relationship they'd developed a kind of comfortable silence between them but, ever since Raven had somehow implanted the idea that maybe, maybe Jasper was viewing their times alone as dates (he wouldn't), Monty couldn't help but be painfully aware of these moments.
When Monty finally glanced over at Jasper there was a strange look on his face (nervousness? discomfort? awkwardness?) and Jasper fidgeted with his hands and rubbed his arm.
"Jasper? What's up?" Monty asked and he softly touched the hand Jasper was using the rub his arm.
Jasper jolted, standing up straight, "What? Oh, nothing, sorry," he smiled but then quickly looked away.
There was a silence.
Jasper swallowed. "Uhm... Monty?"
"Hm?" Monty hummed in acknowledgement as he drank some of his coffee.
There was another silence.
Suddenly, Monty felt something brush against his hand, sending a startling shock across his body and, when he looked down, he saw that Jasper had slipped his hand against Monty's and was slowly, gently intertwining their fingers.
Monty stiffened and quickly looked up at Jasper, searching for some kind of answer to this strange, sudden, affectionate (not affectionate) (friendly?) gesture but, instead, was met with the side of Jasper's slightly flushed face, averting his gaze purposefully.
Jasper's hand was bigger than Monty's and Monty hated the way their hands fit so comfortably, encompassed in warmth, the slight roughness of Jasper's palm pressed against his, an overwhelmingly heightened sense of Jasper's presence originating from their contact, and Monty wished, wished he didn't like this so much.
Not sure what he was thinking (what either of them were thinking), Monty curled his fingers around Jasper's fingers, reciprocating the gesture.
(The possibilities for this situation were--according to Monty--endless: maybe something was wrong, maybe Jasper was upset about something, maybe Jasper had a bad dream, maybe Jasper was cold, maybe Jasper was just being affectionate, or maybe Jasper just needed his best friend to be close for whatever reason.)
(Monty decided not to question it.)
#3B. (It Continues and Also Gets Worse)
In theory, maybe Monty should have questioned the hand-holding, especially after the 5th instance of it but, at that point, it'd come too far and it was too late to bring it up. There probably wasn't anything more awkward than being like, "hey, we've held hands on 5 different instances--I know this because I have creepily been counting--and I was just wondering why?" Or maybe something like that wasn't weird at all and maybe Monty was just overthinking things (he was) but, regardless, he couldn't quite build up the courage to ask.
Holding hands wasn't uncomfortable and Jasper only initiated it when they were alone together so Monty decided to let it slide.
#4. It's Not a Double Date If They're Not Dating
"Where's Jasper?" Clarke asked as a piece of cheese plopped on her face after unsuccessfully biting a slice of pizza.
"Yeah, where's your boyfriend?" Raven teased, picking off the cheese from Clarke's face.
Monty rolled his eyes. Currently, they were sitting at the 24-hour pizza place across campus on a Saturday night, surrounded by dining couples, group dates, drunk college kids, and the occasional hobo.
"Hilarious," Monty said dryly, "he agreed to pet-sit his professor's dog while she's away but he's fallen in love with it and goes there like 50 times a day to take care of it. He'll be here soon."
"Aww, cute!" Raven cooed, "That reminds me of when he fell in love with you--"
Monty choked on his drink. "Raven, I swear," he whispered urgently, looking around to make sure Jasper hadn't suddenly arrived, "don't you think Jasper would have said something to you guys--his friends--if he thought we were dating?"
"Not necessarily," Clarke chimed in, "I mean, me and Raven kept it on the DL until we decided we were really serious," (Monty squinted at her) "for real! Nothing more awkward than 2 people in your friend-group dating for like a week and then deciding it can't work."
Monty ran his hand through his hair. "Yeah, but the difference between you and us is both of you knew about it--"
"Hey, what'd I miss?" Jasper came up behind them, shoving himself into the booth next to Monty, "You ok?" he asked as he started fixing Monty's recently-mussed hair.
"Uhm," Monty stuttered (and Raven and Clarke chuckled to themselves), "yeah, of course. Cut it out--" Monty flushed as he swatted Jasper's hands away.
The rest of the night went somewhat normal, despite the fact that Jasper was sitting right against Monty, leaning on him, their legs pressed together, their hands occasionally brushing, the way Jasper kept focusing on Monty rather than their friends, Jasper annoyingly trying to feed him bread sticks, poking him, touching him, the way Jasper leaned in and whispered in his ear when the noise pollution of the restaurant was too distracting, and the awkward moment Monty happened to see his old high school crush sitting across the room.
Cue Nathan Miller: Monty's first crush in high school who--at the time--was the quarterback of the football team, the student Monty had to tutor in pre-calculus, and the secret (past, of course) object of his affections.
"Oh god," Monty mumbled quietly, completely cutting off all conversations within their group and buried his face in his hands, peeking through his fingers surreptitiously, "what's he doing here? We're so far from where he goes to school--" he mused, obviously oblivious to the football uniforms and massive group of buff, sweaty, loud college-aged boys.
"Holy shit--" Jasper sat up straight, craning his neck to get a better look, "is that Miller?"
"Don't look, don't look!" Monty cried.
"Who's Miller?" Clarke asked, chewing on her drink straw.
"Some asshole," Jasper mumbled (and Monty elbowed him in the side), "ow! Seriously--" (Monty elbowed him again) "ow! Ok, ok, jeez, he's a guy Monty had a crush on in high school. Oh my god, is he still wearing beanies?"
"Looks cute," Raven commented, wiggling her eyebrows (and Monty promptly groaned, covering his face again).
"Yeah, I'd let him keep that beanie on as long as he wanted," Clarke nudged Raven, eliciting a roar of laughter from both of them (and another groan from Monty).
Jasper rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, he looks cute with his beanie," he huffed, "but he's a total doof! Monty was his pre-calc tutor; I mean, who needs tutoring in pre-calc? Plus, Monty flirted with him so obviously," (Monty plopped his head on the table) "and the guy still didn't go for him. Flat out rejected him! I mean, who'd pass up getting with Monty?"
"Jasper," Monty groaned again, grabbing Jasper's arm and shaking it, "please, please don't make me relive thiiii-- oh, no--" Monty said suddenly and pressed himself against the back of their booth's seating, "did he just look at me!?"
Sure enough, Nathan Miller was gazing in their general direction, a look of confusion and intrigue washing over his face, and he nudged one of the guys next to him, saying something incoherent due to the distance.
"Oh my god, I think he noticed you," Clarke leaned over and exaggerated her smile.
"Maybe he wants to rekindle the friendship," Raven added cheekily, winking at Jasper.
Jasper rolled his eyes. "Yeah, well, he can do that on Facebook. Right, Monty?" (Monty looked at Jasper pleadingly, still plastered against the back of their seat) "Hurry, let's get outta here--" Jasper said curtly and he took Monty's hand, leading him out of the restaurant.
It was the first time Jasper had held Monty's hand in public and Monty forgot to pull away.
Later, when they were back at their room, Monty plopped into bed and sighed in relief (his chest loosening after his almost-run-in) before checking the messages on his phone.
To: Monty
From: Raven
"OMG JAS WA S SOooo JEALOUS LOLOL he. LUVS. U"
To: Monty
From: Clarke
"Raven won't stop crying-laughing over you and Jasper. Just ask him where you guys stand, it'll be better that way, promise. :-) Text me if you need support!"
Monty turned off his phone and buried his face into his pillow.
WEEK THREE
#5. Going out of the Way to Spoil Someone Might Be Romantic, Unfortunately
Working at the library on Sundays was something Monty always did in order to fulfill his work study hours and, even after a year and a half had passed, he still decided he definitely didn't enjoy working on the weekends. The campus library was expansive, taking up the entirety of the west wing of one of the school's biggest buildings, encompassing 5 floors, and held a seemingly endless amount of books. With the size and nature of the library, Monty was generally kept pretty busy: receiving books, shelving books, cataloging, etc. which left him somewhat drained at the end of the day.
(It was also kind of lonely.)
Monty checked his phone for the 614th time, only to stare blankly at the lack of new messages. Usually Jasper texted him all day, whining about homework, whining about being bored, whining about being lonely, sending him an infinite amount of animal videos and bad memes but, for some reason, today he had been completely silent. He slipped his phone back into his pocket.
Only 3 hours left of work.
"H-hey-- hey, Monty!"
A voice came from behind him and when he turned to see who it was, Jasper was heaving, leaning on his knees.
"Jasper? What are you doing here?" Monty asked, trying not to laugh at a weirdly-tired-out-in-a-library-Jasper.
"I-- I-- jeez," Jasper breathed, "you know, I asked 4 people where you were and each one said you were one flight up so I--" he gasped, "I just went up 5 flights of stairs--"
Monty rolled his eyes. "You should have just texted me!"
"I know, I know," Jasper stood up, smoothing out his shirt, "I forgot my phone. Uhm," with his free hand, he crinkled a bag he'd been holding and held it out towards Monty, "I got this for you."
Monty eyed the bag before taking it slowly, inspecting it. "Wait..." he started, noticing the logo on the front, "Wait, ARK Cakes!?" Monty ripped the bag open and his suspicions were confirmed: the sweet smell of chocolate cake wafted from the bag and Monty's jaw practically dropped. "How did you get this? When did you get this?"
"Uh, well, I just got off the subway, so..." Jasper shrugged and shoved his hands into his pockets, a small smile forming on his face.
"It takes 2 hours to get there!" Monty gawked, "You seriously just took a 4 hour trip to get some cake?"
Jasper laughed. "Sundays suck, right?"
It was something incredibly small and kind of silly but ARK Cakes was Monty and Jasper's favorite family owned bakery. They'd only been able to go there a handful of times in their entire lives and, each time they visited, it was during the summertime when they could afford to waste the excess amount of time to get there and back just to eat one slice of cake. So suddenly being presented with something from the bakery, in the middle of the school year, during Monty's 8 hour Sunday shift at the library made the flower in his stomach bloom again and his heart swelled.
(He tried not to be that touched by the gesture, really, but it really was pretty sweet. And cute.)
Before Monty even realized it, he was throwing his arms around Jasper's neck, pulling him down slightly, hugging him tight. (It was, of course, because they'd gotten used to hugging each other by this point. Of course.) "Thanks," he said softly.
When Jasper hugged him back, Monty instantly regretted it, suddenly realizing just how comfortable he felt being with Jasper, and he felt overcome with embarrassment by the fluttering feeling in his stomach.
#6. Hey, It Saves Space
Maybe this should have been mentioned earlier; or not, because Monty didn't really feel the need to bring it up ever because somewhere, deep down, he knew there was something slightly off about it but, considering he'd been best friends with Jasper for 20 years, it didn't really seem like that huge of a deal.
So, on a Tuesday morning--Monty and Jasper's day off (which they had planned their schedules to have matching days off)--when Raven busted into their room with the key she illegally made a copy of, desperate to use their shower since hers had just broke, she was quite shocked by what she saw:
Monty and Jasper, in one bed, Monty's head resting against Jasper's neck, Jasper's arms around him, Jasper's hands resting gently on the small of Monty's back, cuddling. (Ok, the cuddling wasn't common, really, but lately--ever since Monty's Few Weeks of Hell had started--he'd waken up in Jasper's arms. He couldn't help what happened in his sleep, after all.)
"Hey guys, lemme use your show-- oh god! Shit!" Raven yelled, caught completely off-guard, and she dropped all her shower supplies she was holding, the loud THUMPs echoing across their hardwood floor.
Monty stirred awake and sat up, rubbing his eyes. "Raven? What's wrong?"
"Uh--" Raven started, picking up everything she'd dropped, "sorry, I didn't realize I'd be intruding on you guys, I am so leaving, I swear--"
"Intruding?" Monty blinked.
Raven stared at Monty and raised her eyebrows, pointedly gesturing towards Jasper's arms still wrapped firmly around Monty's waist.
Monty's entire face flushed pink and he scrambled, clumsily falling out of the bed. "Ow! Wait, wait, it's not what it looks like--" he (weirdly) panicked (for no reason at all).
(And it really wasn't what it looked like: it started back in freshman year when Monty and Jasper had been approved to be each other's roommates but, upon arriving at their room, there was only one bed because, apparently, they'd accidentally been assigned a single room. Confused, they went to the residence life office.
"Sorry," a woman working at the desk had said dryly, "we're out of double rooms. I'm gonna have to split you up. What are your names and student numbers?"
Before they could reply, they ran out, deciding they'd much rather share a single than be separated.
In the beginning, one of them would sleep on the couch and they'd switch off everyday until, finally, one day they just decided to share the bed because that was much more comfortable. They'd gotten used to it by the end of the year so, this year, they didn't really think it was a big deal when they started using Jasper's bed for storage and he migrated over to share Monty's bed.)
"Mhh... Mont?" Jasper groaned sleepily from the bed, his eyes half-open, "What happened?"
But by the time Jasper sat up, Raven had left and Monty was still sitting on the floor, his heartbeat drumming through his ears.
Maybe this really was going too far.
That was the end of Monty's Few Weeks of Hell and the beginning of his quest to finally put this strange, strange confusion to rest.
"Welcome home!" Jasper said excitedly as he padded over to Monty, embracing him.
Monty stiffened and pushed away (still feeling awkward, still feeling embarrassed, considering only 1 day had passed since the "Bed" Incident). "Do you-- do you wanna watch a movie!?" he asked loudly.
Jasper blinked. "Huh? Yeah, sure," he smiled toothily and it was almost like 23 light bulbs went off because, seriously, Jasper's smile was too much.
They made themselves comfortable on the couch and Monty pulled out a ton of snacks he'd bought to prepare for this moment: the moment he was going to once-and-for-all ask Jasper if they were dating. (It sounded weirder than it was. Actually, no, it was pretty weird.)
Before they played some obscure movie on Netflix ("Choose one with 1 star! Yes! We're gonna hate it, it'll be so good!" Jasper cheered), Monty checked his phone one last time.
To: Monty
From: Raven
"DONt CHICKEN OUT I S2G MONTY cmon u got this ok???"
To: Monty
From: Clarke
"Just remember, Jasper really values his relationships, he'd never do anything to hurt you. And if he does? Well, me and Raven will personally take care of him. ;-D (He won't, though!)"
Monty sighed. This was going to be a long night.
It shouldn't have been that long of a night, to be honest, but, somehow, they ended up watching 2 movies, got distracted watching the entirety of an actress' Vines, and were now halfway through another movie. It was 2 AM on a school night and Jasper and Monty sat pressed together, Jasper's arm around Monty, and Monty half-asleep, his head resting on Jasper's shoulder.
Monty had tried to ask Jasper just what had been going on with them for the past few weeks--really--but he kept getting distracted by the pounding feeling in his ears, the butterflies residing in his stomach, and Jasper, laughing and having fun. He wanted, needed to get this over with but he felt overwhelmingly sleepy, the audio of the movie sounding more like soft mumbling.
"Hey," Jasper nudged Monty a little, "we should go to sleep."
Monty hummed incoherently in reply.
"Monty," Jasper pressed further, the smile apparent in his voice, "come on."
When Jasper shifted, Monty blinked himself awake. He peered sleepily up at Jasper through heavy eyelids, a sense of fondness and comfort radiating from his and Jasper's closeness and, for a second, Monty thought he was dreaming.
Monty wasn't thinking when let his hands find their way to Jasper's face, when he let his fingers play with the ends of Jasper's hair, when he pulled Jasper closer, leaning forward, focusing on Jasper's lips--
He stopped. This wasn't a dream.
Monty suddenly became aware of their position, suddenly aware of how close he was to Jasper's face, his lips, suddenly aware that he was this close to kissing Jasper, and he swallowed, his body too stiff to move, when Jasper suddenly (reality: slowly, hesitantly) closed the distance between them himself and kissed Monty softly.
There was this kind of feeling sort of like being engulfed in water: warm, floating, but frozen in place, and Monty tried to react but he couldn't, completely overwhelmed by Jasper's hand touching the side of his neck, Jasper's lips--soft, smooth, hot--moving fluidly against his so naturally, and he reciprocated the kiss instinctively despite not fully understanding what was going on, why this was going on but maybe, just maybe, that didn't really matter right now.
When Jasper's other hand brushed against Monty's waist, Monty gasped at the sudden sensitivity, and Jasper broke the kiss, pulling away slowly. "Sorry," he breathed.
Monty blinked. What was Jasper apologizing about? What just happened? What? His mind swirled and he had a million questions but he couldn't find the ability to ask any of them. He tried to play out some questions in his head: 'Do you like me?' (No, they weren't 13.) 'Are you in love with me?' (Maybe love was too soon.) (Not for him, though.) 'Are we dating?' (That was probably the most ridiculous question but it was also the one he wanted to know.)
"Why... why did you..?" Monty managed to practically-whisper but he cut himself off, unsure about this non-premeditated question.
Jasper's eyes widened and Monty saw a shock go through Jasper's body as he sat up straight. "Uhm," Jasper stuttered, "sorry, I just--" he swallowed and pulled at the collar of his shirt, "shit, sorry, Monty, I should have asked first--" (Monty wasn't sure asking would have made it any better) "I just... I mean..." he trailed off into silence.
Monty held his breath. (He knew he should say something but his heart was trapped in his throat and he couldn't.)
"I mean..." Jasper finally continued, "since we've been dating for a few weeks, I thought maybe-- god, no, I should definitely have asked, right?" (Monty's eyes shot open and his mouth went dry. Dating?) "No, I mean-- I'm sorry, Monty, it was too soon, right? I promise I'll wait however long, I mean, hell, if you don't wanna do anything at all ever I'm fine with that too, I just--"
"Dating?" Monty spit out with urgency.
Jasper's jaw tightened. "Wait-- what? Wait..." realization washed over his face, "Oh, shit," he jolted away from Monty, leaning back on the arm of the couch, and ran his hand through his hair, mumbling a string of swears under his breath, "I, uh. I should. Go--" he said with a strained voice as he clumsily climbed over the side of the couch.
"Wait, Jasper--!" Monty yelled even before he realized it, practically on instinct, and he reached over and grabbed the bottom of Jasper's shirt to stop him from leaving, "Wait," he breathed, "are you--" a million words exploded in his head, flashing before his eyes but, in the midst of them all, Raven's voiced echoed loudly, "some type of queer!?"
Jasper broke out into a coughing fit and Monty promptly released his grip on Jasper's shirt and smacked himself in the face.
"Seriously?" Jasper asked (and when Monty looked at him, he was laughing and, somehow, Monty felt relieved), "I literally grabbed Bellamy's ass 3 times in the past 2 months."
Monty stared at Jasper, deadpan. "How the hell am I supposed to know what that means?"
Making his way over to the couch, Jasper sat down next to Monty again, exhaling, his shoulders relaxing. "Yeah," he said behind a (sad?) smile, "sorry. I'm an idiot."
"You're not--"
"I'm crazy about you. I'm in love with you," Jasper said, averting his gaze (and Monty stopped, all his blood rushing to his head, suddenly feeling frozen, his heart freezing over, threatening to burst, and he couldn't breathe, he couldn't think), "you're my favorite, you know? And I meant to ask you out because, like, I can't stand not being with you, obviously, I'm so clingy," he forced a breathy laugh, "but... I think I screwed up, as always," he pinched the bridge of his nose, "so-- so can we forget it? I feel like a jerk."
There was a silence and Jasper stared at the ground expectantly.
"No," Monty said curtly.
Jasper blinked, making eye contact with Monty. "No?"
"No," Monty repeated and he grabbed the collar of Jasper's shirt, pulling Jasper into him, kissing him with urgency, set off by his emotions exploding out of him, and it felt like Jasper knew it by the way he leaned into the kiss, accepting it, encouraging it, and when Monty urged for more Jasper sucked on Monty's tongue, his lips, allowing Monty to do whatever he pleased, reciprocating it, and their mouths moved comfortably together, wonderfully, satisfyingly, for what seemed like forever, coated with intensity, pent-up feelings, emotions, everything from the past few weeks, from the past year.
Jasper breathed, gradually breaking the kiss, his nose pressed against Monty's cheek and Monty could feel Jasper's breath against him and Jasper's eyelashes brushing against his skin. "I'm confused," Jasper mumbled between breaths, his eyes downcast.
"Sorry," Monty chuckled, but it sounded more like a gasp, "you confuse me. Raven told me we were dating but I didn't believe her but I wanted to, I wanted to be dating--"
"That makes no sense," Jasper laughed and he leaned in slowly, his lips ghosting over Monty's, but he stopped short, hesitantly.
"I mean," Monty said quietly, distracted by Jasper's lips being so close to his again, "I love you."
And when Monty saw Jasper's eyes light up, the faint hint of pink painting his cheeks, Monty pulled Jasper in again, kissing him softly, gently, the warmth of Jasper's mouth echoing the warmth of his hands wrapping around Monty's body, the heat of their bodies together, the steady rhythm of their hearts beating so close together, fast, hard, overwhelmed with sensitivity melting out of them, and Monty didn't care if they had to sleep on this couch because he decided he wasn't letting Jasper go anytime soon.
Because, this time, he knew they were together.
To: Monty
From: Raven
"hey kid where r u? class starting rn"
To: Raven
From: Monty
"Sorry. Skipping class. On a date."
"ON ADATE FJGVVVVVV"
"Sorry, that was Jasper. Ttyl."