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Peter had to admit that when he had his first successful transformation, he was disheartened to learn his form. He was hoping to be something like an eagle. Perhaps an animal whose prowess made up for his personal lack thereof. As an eagle he’d be able to soar through the sky, unencumbered by the anxieties of day-to-day life. Better than a broomstick because he would practically be the broomstick.
Finding himself instead as a rat had been supremely disappointing. If he were to say his true feelings on the matter, he would say it felt like a slap in the face. For a few days after they’d first transformed, Peter tagged along with his friends less than usual. He stewed over it nearly every moment until he decided he should at least try talking to someone about it.
“You and Sirius have the best luck in the world, don’t you?” Peter said as he and James walked a little ways behind the others on their way to the common room. “You as a stag, him as the biggest dog I’ve ever seen.”
“Pete, you’ll be able to do things as a rat we could never dream of.” James was trying to make Peter feel better, but it wasn’t working so far. Peter still felt like the scared first year who had met the other three on the train—intimidated by much cooler boys.
“Yeah, thanks, James,” Peter said. He didn’t want to totally shrug off his friend, but he didn’t really feel like being pitied. He didn’t know what he expected when he brought it up.
“Wait, Pete—“ James started to say, but Peter was already walking far ahead and out of sight.
As Peter got ready for bed that evening, he started to feel bad for the way he had talked to James. He knew his friend meant only well. James’ intentions were always noble, at least when it came to his friends. Peter admitted to himself that he was just insecure—worried that he would never be equal with his friends. He sincerely hoped that this would not serve as a greater metaphor for their friendship as a whole.
“You alright, Pete?” Remus asked from the bed beside his. Remus had grown up to be overly sensitive of people’s emotions, and Peter could tell he had been observing him for the past couple of days. “We’re here for you, mate.”
“I know,” Peter said, managing a small smile. “Thanks, Moony.”
“Do either of you know where James went?” Sirius asked, brows furrowed on the other side of the room. Remus shrugged, he and Peter both agreeing they hadn’t seen him since the walk back to Gryffindor Tower.
Peter laid awake, staring at the glow-in-the-dark stars he had placed on the bed ceiling of his four-poster. He couldn’t fall asleep, so he was forced to just lay there, bed curtains shut, and pout some more.
“Pete,” whispered a voice from outside his bed. Peter shot up, bringing his knees up toward his chest. “It’s James. Can I come in?”
Peter let out a sigh of relief and whispered an affirmative. James, holding a scroll of parchment, climbed into the bed, shutting the curtains back behind him. He mumbled a silencing charm before unrolling the parchment in his hands.
“Where were you?” Peter asked, though he was sure James would give that away once he stated his business.
“I went to the library and did some research is all,” James said. “I’ve learned some things about rats that I’d like to share with you.”
“James, you really didn’t have to—“
“I know I didn’t,” James cut him off. “But if you please, I made a list of the things that stood out to me.”
Peter nodded slowly.
“Did you know that rats have such good senses of smell that they have been used to identify muggle disease?”
Peter shook his head.
“How about that rats were among the first animals sent to space in 1961?”
Peter’s lip quirked up.
“A rat can fall up to fifteen meters without getting hurt.”
“James—“
“Rats also have great memories, which I’m sure will help you with your classes,” James looked up from the paper now. Peter started to say something, but his friend kept talking. “And, most importantly, a group of rats are called a mischief. Just like we are Moony’s pack when he needs us, the rest of us are your mischief.”