Chapter Text
** PRAN **
It’s already night time, when Pran got into his car to go back to his apartment. After 8 long hours of reunions, construction site visits and coffee breaks that aren’t really breaks, he now can go home. Although not to relax and sleep, he still has to work on his next songs and answer a late-night interview on an indie radio. Leaving a double life will never be easy, but it’s the life he chose. Brilliant busy architect by day, famous faceless musician by night. The best of both worlds if you ask him.
He puts the car radio on the station he has a meeting with later, just to know what’s their editorial policy is and so in how much trouble he could get. He only needs a couple of minutes to understand that it won’t be an easy interview. This show is clearly a gossip hunting one, every rumor is good to spread for them. He will have to be extract cautious.
Pran is absently listening to the MCs talking gossips while preparing the kind of questions they will ask and which answers he needs to give to avoid any trouble. When a name brings him back to earth.
“Pat Napat”
He almost hit the breaks out of surprise. Of course, he knows what his childhood nemesis became. He knew precisely in which show the rocky actor is currently staring, as much has he watched every interview his childhood crush has up until this day. And he clearly knows that pat doesn’t have any schedule today.
He puts the volume up and let the MC’s voice invade the car’s interior: “Has we were saying just now, this young rocky may not be the perfect future son-in-law everyone though he was. Maybe this is a sign that you should stop thinking an actor is the same as the character he portrays!”
What are they saying?! Pat may have a lot of bad sides, but none of them would break his notorious “perfect Golden boy”’s image. At least not in the eyes of his former nemesis.
“The young star has been removed from the cast of Thailand’s most watched show, and for what? He would have started a fight with the lead actor, the multi-rewarded actor Tess Thattawa! Everyone’s favorite actor is currently at the hospital getting checkups. We can say that this Pat is actually a really good actor to have let us believe that he was such an angel. We hope he is going back to where he comes from, and that we won’t hear about him from now on!”
That’s not possible. Pran couldn’t believe it. That’s not the Pat he grows up with. Yes, fame changes people, but not like that, not this fast. Not his Pat.
Still in shocked from what he just heard, he parked his car and got to his apartment. His next song won’t be about unrequired love or long distance pining this time. No, it will take his own revenge on the entertainment industry. Because he knows what Pat is going through, and even if he didn’t have the courage to defend himself back then, he will defend the one he couldn’t warn when he should have.
So tonight, right before picking up the radio’s phone call, Pran send a text to his mother. It was time for him to take a break from is double life, to go back to his roots, where everything started, then crashed down, before starting again. It was also the only place he knew for sure he could meet Pat again.
Been back, this is weird and relieving at the same time. The feeling that you’re at the right place but at the bad moment in time at the same time. Pran’s mother seems so happy to see him again, ready to baby him for as long as he stays. But at the same time, he sees in her eyes that she knows he isn’t back for nothing, for her. He guesses that she doesn’t know the exact reason but the next few days will be like a long interview full of trapping questions.
“Oh! Did you hear what happened with the neighbors’ son recently? This boy really is like his father! Exactly like I always said!“ Okay this is the first trap. Pran Straightens up ready to face it.
Lying never worked with his mother, hiding the forbidden truth inside the global truth is always the answer.
“Actually, I did, yes. I really saw myself back in the days in this drama. So, I guess That’s why I'm back home right now.” His mother’s eyes widened at this admission. The fish had taken the bait.
“How can you say that?! You’re nothing like this scumbag failed actor! He beat someone up! He deserved everything happening to him! Don’t tell me you feel pity for him?! You came back for him? Are you telling me you’re friends with this… this…” Okay she spilled enough venom for today, time to stop her before she goes too far.
“I never say any of that. But you need to accept that I’ve been in the same situation in the eye of the public so it’s normal for me to be empathic of what’s happening to him. I’ve never said I’m back for him mom. I haven’t even talked to him since high school. How could you think that? Stop been paranoiac, okay? It will impact your health, please calm down.” A lie drowned in a sea of neutral truths.
The next few days went by pretty calmly. Passing the day with his parents, going back to his childhood’s bedroom in the evening, always checking the opposite balcony. Until now, it had always been empty, and the room attached to it plunged into darkness. But finally, tonight, it wasn’t.
A long figure was leaning on the exterior side of the adjacent wall. His gaze lost in the emptiness. Even in the obscurity of the night, Pran could feel Pat’s despair. They broke him. They broke Pat.
Before he could think it through, Pran got the tin cans from his nightstand and is throwing them to the opposite balcony.
Pat, surprised, has a backward movement, before his eyes landed on his long-lost nemesis. Pran can see his lips forming the word “you”, but he didn’t let him start a noisy argument. He showed him the tin can in his hand. Still hesitant, Pat got his own tin can from the floor to his ear.
“How have you been handling it?” A simple, not threatening, not blaming sentence. What he thinks Pat needed to hear.
Well maybe he forgot how Pat took everything coming from him like a competition and/or a threat. Because, as soon as those words left his lips, the flame in Pat’s eyes came back ready to fight. It was his turn to talk.
“Ooooh I see. You’re all happy today seeing me fall. I sure you were waiting for it right? Watching the gossip shows just to be sure you won’t miss the moment I will crack and made a mistake. Well, aren’t you happy? Your time has come!” Tears were starting to agglutinate in Pat’s eyes, making them all shiny from this distance. But his aura and his expression stayed savage ready for a fight. Pran could see behind the cracks of Pat’s armor, behind the protective wall he made around himself those past few days. Something in him was almost happy he could see that. Either he was good enough to see what others couldn’t because he still knew Pat or Pat lets him see through those cracks consciously or not.
Pat keeps rambling: “What do you want me to say? Do you want to hear the easy answer? Because yes, I did hit him, he deserved it. Do you want to hear that I trust the wrong person? Because maybe I did, maybe I’m too naïve for this industry. Do you want to hear that I skip too many steps in this game? Because I did, and I took the wrong path and it’s too late now. Do you want to hear that my life is a mess? Because it is but not as big of a mess as the one in my head right now. Do you want to hear all that? Because I’m not scared to say it! I’m a loser, Are you happy now? Now that everyone knows what you believed for years?!” Tears start running down Pat’s cheeks.
All Pran could to was saying Pat’s name soundlessly. He slowly took the tin can to his mouth, too worried an abrupt movement would scare away the dear caught in headlights Pat at become. “I just want to hear if you’re okay, Pat”.
His words had the effect of a bullet for Pat, who crashed on the floor of his own balcony in tears. Pran knew what was happening. Pat had kept it cool in front of the paparazzi for days now. He probably kept everything inside in presence of his father who could not accept his son showing emotion anywhere else than in front of a camera. And now he was letting it go in front of Pran, his supposed life-long enemy.
He didn’t have time to question how his heart still seems to know Pat’s one by heart. His instinct takes over and here he was jumping to Pat’s balcony. How the tables had turned.
As soon as his feet touch the balcony, Pran lower himself to Pat and take his long-time crush’s head into his hands: “Hey, Pat, Pat, Pat!” His voice bringing back the broken boy to reason, he starts to see life and understanding between the tears.
“What--- How--- Why are you here? Pran you can’t be here! If my dad comes up here- “
“shhh. You’re not 16 anymore Pat.” Pran felt like he had a child version of Pat in front of him. He just now realized that Pat is in a way worst state than what he prepared himself to see him in. He looks way more tired, skin almost turning grey by the sickness and his body seems thinner than ever. Pran feels like crying too now.
“Hey, where is my fierce Nemesis now?” Pran wants to be the lifebuoy saving Pat from his own emotional tsunami, but he can hear the fakeness in his voice and in his dimpleless smile .
“They all hate me. I fucked up. What am I going to do?” With these words, Pat lunch forwards to fall completely in Pran’s arms. At least he isn’t crying anymore.
Pat’s body starts to became more and more heavy in his arms, so Pran moved to have his back leaning on the nearest wall, murmuring “It’s going to be okay” to a, now sleeping, 24 years old boy.
** PAT **
Pat is waking up slowly in the most serene states he has been in the last few days. The sun is burning his back, while his face is stuff in a soft fabric. The smell tickling his nose remembers him of happy childhoods days. It’s like smelling for the first time in an eternity a smell he didn’t know he was missing.
Captivated by the smell, it took him way too long to realized that his “pillow” his regularly moving, breathing. Pat straightens his neck to look up, his stare falling on a young man’s, still sleeping, face. It took him, not even a second to realize that it was his 8 years no see childhood enemy’s face.
Then everything came back to him.
This night, at the party, that end up with his fist in the lead actor face.
The morning after, when the 52 missed calls from his agent woke him up.
This meeting with his agent ending up with him not having one anymore.
Those days alone in his condo staring at his celling, until his sister and her girlfriend broke in to get him back home.
This car radio saying his name, talking about half-truths, ending up by Pa shutting it up with an abrupt movement.
This silent dinner, full of sharing worried stares from the feminine side of the table and a stern, fierce et disappointed one from his dad’s one.
Yesterday evening where he chose to stare at the sky all night instead of the celling.
This voice, those worried eyes, those calming hands, those warm arms. Pran’s voice. Pran’s eyes. Pran’s hands. Pran’s arms. Why did he crack in front of his enemy? Couldn’t at least one thing go well?
Without realizing it, his breathing pattern became jerky. Still staring up at Pran’s face, he saw the boy waking up, realizing where and with who he was. When he though Pran would just punch him away from him, the boy tries to calm him down again.
“Hey Pat, breath. Please, slowly. Great you’re doing great”
Without having to even focus on it, his breathing pattern came back to normal. “What are you doing here?”
“Oh… Did the emotional shock give you amnesia? Is it even possible?” Pran takes his phone from his pants’ pocket.
“No! I mean: Why are you here? Why did you do that?”
Pran seems lost and uneasy by his question. “Well, I heard about what happened, obviously.” He said that like it was logical, when this is everything but logical to him.
“So, your enemy gets canceled by the entire country and you, you came right back home to help him? Shouldn’t you be the happier man on earth right now?”
Pran looks hurt and disgusted for the time. He pushes Pat from him and gets back up. “We are not children anymore Pat. We are adults that can make their own choices. At least I am. I am not my mother, and I have nothing against you, my almost friend. I’m just being empathetic right here. But I guess not everyone gets mature with age.”
Pran turns around and starts to get over the guardrail before turning his face back to Pat’s direction. The broken boy was looking shocked but he was also looking like a living person which is already a big change from last night.
Pran shows a sad smile and looks down before saying: “You may not know since we lost touch after my mother sent me to the boarding school and since we don’t have the same tastes in music… But I lived through the same thing you’re living right now. I know what you’re feeling and though I could help. I guess I was wrong. I hope you’re going to be okay, though. Bye, my almost friend.” And with that he was gone, back to his own room, his own house.
Pat was still shocked, seated on his balcony’s floor. But he can’t argue that he feels like the fierce living flam inside his guts is back. He gets back up, literal and figural. Pran wanted to show him that he already won because he got better after failing? Did he really forget who Pat was? He won’t lose without fighting. He will show his rival how he didn’t need help to get back on track and to succeed again.
Pat is determined to go back on top, where he belongs. Getting back up isn’t enough to beat Pran at this new area of competition.
** THE SONG’S LYRICS **
J'aimerais briller, [I would like to shine bright,]
mais sans jamais devoir attendre. [but without having to ever wait]
Tu sais, j'ai des choses à prouver, [You know, I have things to prove,]
parfois le réveil est violent. [Sometime the waking up is brutal.]
Et voilà, je me suis plantée, [That’s it, I fucked up,]
moi qui voulais pas redescendre. [me, the one who didn’t want to come down.]
Comme un lendemain de soirée, [Like the morning after a party,]
c'est comme ça qu'on apprend vraiment. [that’s how we really learn.]
On veut plaire, moi la première, [We want to be like, me included,]
Évidemment. [obviously.]
Des fois, j'y arrive, [Sometimes, I succeed,]
souvent j'me trompe donc j'recommence et puis j'apprends. [Often, I fail, so I start again and then learn]
Des fois, j'oublie d'être moi-même, [Sometimes, I forget to be myself]
et finalement j'finis par le payer [and I end up paying for that, in the end.]
J'finis par oublier [I end up forgetting]
Évidemment (Évidemment) [Obviously (Obviously)]
Évidemment (Évidemment) [Obviously (Obviously)]
Tout le monde veut sa place au sommet sans vouloir attendre [Everyone wants to be on top of the world without waiting]
On pense que, évidemment (Évidemment) [We think that, obviously]
Évidemment (Évidemment) [Obviously (Obviously)]
Tu vas tomber, faudra t'relever [You will fall, get up again]
On perd, on revit, [We lose, we live again]
on s'lève, on reprend [We stand up, we start again]
On pense que évidemment [We think that, obviously]
Si c'était facile ça s'saurait [If it was easy, it would be common knowledge]
Évidemment [Obviously]
Tu vas tomber, faudra t'relever [You will fall, get up again]
On pense que é' [We think that, obv-]
Évidemment (Évidemment) [Obviously (Obviously)]
É', Évidemment [Obv-, Obviously]
Goku, [Goku,]
j'ai commencé, j'étais Krillin, [I started, I was Krillin,]
j'ai commencé, j'étais nul (J'étais nul) [I started, I sucked (I sucked)]
J'ai mis vingt ans pour plus être un perdant, [It took me 20 years to not be a loser anymore]
j'peux l'redevenir en moins d'une minute (Moins d'une minute) [I can be one again in less than a minute (a minute)]
La route est longue, elle est sinueuse, [The road is long, it’s winding,]
tu vas tomber, faudra s'relever (Ok) [You will fall, get up again (Okay)]
Vie rapide, tu seras plus vite vieux, [Speedy life, older faster]
le secret, c'est qu'y a pas d'secret (Ok) [The secret is there is no secret]
Y aura des requins, des démons, des sirènes [There will be sharks, demons, siren’s calls]
Y aura des fautes, des trahisons, des migraines [There will be mistakes, betrayals, headaches]
Oublie les soirs, les jours fériés, les week-ends [Forget about evenings, holidays, weekends]
Ils t'haïront pour les mêmes raisons qu'ils t'aiment [They will hate you for the same reasons they love you]
Y a pas de cheat code, crois pas leurs arnaques [There are no cheat code, don’t believe their scams]
Que du travail, un peu d'chance et du karma [Only hard work, a little bit of chance and karma]
Même le bonheur, c'est sympa, mais c'est pas stable [Even happiness, it’s cool, but not stable]
C'est juste une pause entre deux trucs qui s'passent mal [It’s just a break between two stuff not going well]
On voit juste la ligne d'arrivée [We only see the finish line]
On voit jamais les obstacles qui viennent avant [We never see the obstacles standing before that]
La patience nous a quittée [Patience ran out of us]
On voit jamais l'effort et les conséquences [We never see the efforts and the consequences]