Chapter Text
Talia and Samuel don't even think twice about the fact that their son is missing a mark when he's born – it just means that his soulmate hasn't been born yet. Samuel had been two when his mark appeared. The first thing Laura asks, though, is why he doesn't have a mark (something they will answer many times in the next years) and the second thing she asks is if they're going to get to open presents soon. She decides she doesn't like her new baby brother when her parents tell her that Christmas is postponed until they can go home from the hospital.
Talia doesn't think much about her son’s missing mark until he's turning four. She's never heard of someone being more than three years older than his or her soulmate, and she begins to worry that something is wrong. Samuel, of course tells her not to worry. He reminds her that Derek likes to keep to himself a lot, anyway, maybe he won't want someone at all.
Laura starts teasing him when Cora is born a year later, a thin black X alreadyon her wrist. Derek, though young, understands what it means – he’s endured hours and hours of playground teasing from his friends – and hates how different he is. Many nights, he cries himself to sleep in Talia's arms. Talia never shows her own concerns, instead she promises him that he's not broken. Even at six years old, he fears being alone forever.
On the third day of first grade, Caroline Andrews starts crying in the middle of presenting her show and tell. Derek is almost glad that he doesn't have a mark, then. He doesn't want to end up crying in front of people for no reason. When she’s not at school the next two days, their class whispers about what it might have been. But when she returns, she seems older than them. She doesn’t giggle about the marks with the rest of them. That’s when they really start to learn more about their marks and the pain they may experience alongside their soulmate. Derek feels lucky then – and his friends agree. Six year olds would do almost anything to avoid getting hurt.
In the months that follow, almost all of Derek’s friends experience some form of pain from their soulmate and the thought that he’s lucky gets even stronger. It’s not until Joel’s mom dies and he swears he can feel his soulmate comforting him that Derek starts to feel unsure. He’d fallen off the swingset last week and twisted his ankle – his friends had just laughed at him and he’d wished he could have felt someone loving him then.
Two months later, Derek and Laura are climbing a tree in the backyard. Laura’s daring him to go higher, and when he does, she starts begging him to stop, worry in her voice, but Derek’s not scared – he’s determined to get to the top. A branch cracks and he loses his grip and he can hear Laura screaming from the branch she’s clinging to several feet below him.
Derek wakes up in the back of his mother’s SUV with a horrible pain in his elbow. Laura is sitting next to him, a hand on his knee, tear stained cheeks. She tries to convince him that he’s lucky, because at least his soulmate didn’t have to feel him break his arm, but it only reminds Derek that he doesn’t have a soulmate. Even surrounded by his family, he’s never felt so alone.
It’s 6:23pm on April 8th of the same year and the Hale family is having a BBQ outside to celebrate the first night of Spring Break. They’re going to go camping in the mountains tomorrow and Derek’s drumming with excitement. So much excitement that he almost doesn’t notice the stinging pain on his wrist. He rubs it against his thigh, eyes searching for the bug that must have bit him. When the stinging turns into a burn, he finally lifts his wrist, only to see a raised, perfectly round circle, dark against his skin. Too perfect to be anything but the soulmate he’d been missing for years. He knocks his plate off the picnic table in his rush to get to Talia, beans and chips flying into Cora’s lap. They celebrate the new mark with ice cream after dinner.
Derek doesn't feel any pain from his soulmate for a long time. While he’s aware that’s not uncommon – some people are just careful or have high pain tolerance – it still worries him. He's afraid the mark that did show up is broken – the fact that he’d never heard of a 6-year difference doesn’t help, either. He sneaks to the soulmate section at the library when he goes with his mom one day, and is even more discouraged when none of the books mention such a huge difference in age. When he tells his mom how alone he feels, she promises him he's not alone or broken. He almost believes her.
He's twelve the first time he feels his mark burn. He's sitting at the lunch table and talking to his friends and the pain makes him stop mid-sentence. The burning is followed by a sharp pain that shoots down his arm, throbbing in his wrist for a few seconds before disappearing. He's still taking deep breaths to combat the pain when he looks at his wrist to see his dot has a thin line through it. He knows it won't stay long, but he still runs his finger over it and wishes it would stay forever. He’s never wanted to know who they were more than he does now.
His friends are staring, eyes wide. "What happened?" Boyd asks, leaning to get a closer look at the already disappearing line.
"I think they broke their arm," Derek tells him, still staring at his mark.
"That sucks," Boyd says. "Aren't they still really young?"
Derek nods, then shrugs. He doesn't like to think about the big age difference.
He still goes to the office and calls his mom before going to class, though. She tells him that she's sorry for his soulmate, but excited for him. She reminds him again that he's not broken.
Laura meets her soulmate on accident the next year. She's at a gas station sixty miles away from Beacon Hills on the way to the beach with Cora for the weekend when she bumps into someone in the convenience store. She says they both screamed when the jolt hits them.
He's a nice guy, gets along with their family really well and looks at Laura like she hung the stars. His parents passed away two years before, and Laura hums in agreement when he says it was really hard. Their marks burn for a day straight, something that Laura describes as amazing and Carter says is annoying. After that, their marks are permanently apart of each other’s. They mark their wedding for a year later, despite barely knowing each other – the connection they feel already is deep and Laura’s never seemed happier.
Derek is happy for her, really he is, but the completely random circumstance of meeting him makes him fear that he's already missed his chance. When they’re in public, Derek is no longer careful not to bump into strangers. When they’re at the park over the weekend, Derek leads games of tag so he has an excuse to touch other people. He’s so afraid of being alone – he doesn’t even have to express his thoughts to Talia anymore. She whispers quiet promises to him – “you’re not broken, you’re not alone…they’re out there, honey.”
His soulmate breaks their leg almost three years later, halfway through Derek's first baseball practice of freshman year. The pain that shoots through his own leg makes him collapse as he’s running to first base. He stays on the ground, rubbing the mark until the line disappears. His coach and Boyd had rushed to his side, but relaxed when they saw him cradling his wrist rather than his leg.
Boyd helps him up and laughs. "Dude, your mate is a klutz."
Derek shrugs, just happy he has a soulmate. When he tells his mom when she gets home from work that night, she laughs and tells him to prepare himself for a lifetime of emergency room visits. Laura flicks his head and says, "Der might not be broken, but his soulmate's bones always are."
Derek is sixteen when he has his first dream. It's short and fast and all he can remember seeing is brown eyes. He hears his soulmate’s voice, though. He announces to his family over the breakfast table that his soulmate is a boy. Laura seems surprised, so he tells her to get over it. He tries to memorize the brown eyes that will someday keep him from being alone.
The next day, Derek’s at his locker telling Boyd the news when his soulmate twists his ankle. Derek hisses with the pain, but is smiling soon after. He wonders what he might have been doing and hopes that he’s not hurt too badly. He rubs the mark until it fades away, longing for the day it stays.
A year later, Derek is counting down the minutes of his last class of junior year when the mark starts to burn. At first, he grins, thinking his soulmate has broken another bone. Instead, his heart hurts. He stands, eyes wide. His soulmate is sad. Horribly sad. He stumbles out of the room, his teacher calling after him. He ends up in the locker room, tears welling up in his eyes. He’s bothered that he doesn’t know why he’s upset, but even more upset that his soulmate is feeling this heartbroken and he can’t do anything to help him. His chest feels tight and the tears keep coming.
Boyd finds him five minutes later and drives him home. Derek stays in bed for a week, an overwhelming sadness overtaking him. He doesn't stop rubbing the mark and the mark never fades – his soulmate is still hurting just as much as he was when it first hit. Derek wants to comfort him, wants to tell him it’s going to be okay – whatever it is.
Laura and Carter take turns sitting with him, even though he swears he doesn't need it. He feels like a child when he longs to spend time around his mother, until he finally admits this to Laura. She frowns and says that she also only wanted to see their parents during Carter's time of heartbreak. Carter thinks this means that his soulmate's mother died. Derek clings to Talia when she gets home from work, feeling a deep sadness.
The panic attacks begin soon after. They happen often and hit quickly, strong and almost debilitating. Derek feels the mark burn slightly and then he feels like he can't breathe. It only lasts a few seconds, but the mark sometimes burns for several minutes, telling him that his mate is still panicking. He rubs the mark and hopes the boy knows he not alone.
Senior year starts and Derek is aching to be out of high school. He has a baseball scholarship in his sights. A lot of his classmates have found their soulmates over the summer and have plans for a ceremony after graduation. It makes him jealous, especially knowing that his soulmate is not even 12 years old yet. It’s a fact that his classmates also know, and they constantly bring it up. The sympathy toward him when his mark burns is gone, instead it’s eye-rolls and hushed whispers about a stupid clumsy kid.
It's not until Carson pushes him into a locker and calls him a "kid fucking pervert" that he loses control. He pushes away from the locker and shoves Carson into it instead. He can barely think through his anger, so he just holds him there, breathing heavily.
"Bet you think about it all the time, Hale." Carson says, sneering. Derek had been picked for shortstop over him, and he was bitter. "Nasty fucker."
Derek slams him back again. "Shut the hell up," he warns, seeing red.
"I'd love to see him," Carson continues, voice low and mocking. "Bet he's tight and small. Easy to control. Care to share?"
Derek does lose it then. He slams him back into the locker again, and then again.
Carson shouts in pain, but Derek doesn't stop. He's bringing Carson toward him for the fifth time when someone to his left punches him. He loses his grip on Carson and stumbles, wiping the blood from his split brow. His wrist burns and it distracts him enough for Carson to throw a second punch.
Coach is there now, yelling at them to cut it out, a hand on each of their chests. Derek's nose is bleeding now too, and his wrist is burning, a thin line pulsing over his.
He rubs it, realizing that he just caused his soulmate to be second-hand beat up by a high-schooler. He feels guilty until he remembers why he was fighting, and then he’s just angry again. Coach is telling them to go to the office and someone is shoving a towel into his hand. He takes it, but doesn't stop rubbing the mark. Still, he wishes he could apologize.
His parents are called, as are Carson's, before they even get to the office. Coach had sent Boyd down with them, instructing him to keep them separated. Boyd stands close to Carson but gives Derek space, which Derek appreciates. They're told to wait on opposite sides of the room until their parents arrive. Derek spends the time glaring fiercely across the room. When the secretary leaves the room to get something from the printer, Carson makes obscene gestures and noises. Derek grinds his teeth and ignores him, but he's shaking with anger.
Talia comes in soon after, a stern look on her face. Derek was hoping for his dad, honestly, but knew his mom would still be on his side. Talking about the reason he got angry would just be a little more awkward. When Carson’s mom arrives, Derek grins at Carson’s obvious disappointment – his mom was well-known for working at the church down the street. Derek was sure she would love to hear what her son said.
"I talked to Dylan and he tells me that you started the fight, Derek," Principal O’Reilly says, raising his eyebrows. He’s barely given them time to sit down.
Derek scoffs. "Of course he would. He's Carson's best friend."
"Then why don't you tell me what caused you to slam him into the lockers repeatedly?"
"He was talking about my mate," Derek hisses.
O'Reilly's eyebrows raise and he glances at Carson. "I understand the jealousy aspect of a soulmate, as well as the need to protect, but violence is not the way to fix this."
"I'm not jealous," Derek interrupts. "I'm pissed. He stands there talking about how 'tight and small' my mate is going to be. Talks about fucking him. It's fucking disgusting."
Carson's mom looks somewhere between shocked and upset. O'Reilly is looking pointedly at Carson now. Talia is rubbing Derek's arm, frowning.
"Before we move on, I want to remind you both that strong language isn't necessary," O'Reilly says, shooting a look at Derek.
He rolls his eyes. "I can't say 'fuck' but he can talk about my mate like he's a goddamn toy for his use?” Derek spits. “My soulmate's still a kid."
"Fifteen is hardly a child," Carson's mother says, but she won’t look him in the eye.
"He's 11," Derek spits back, snarling. "Your son is talking about fucking an eleven year old."
Her eyes widen as she looks at Carson, who looks trapped. "I wasn't serious," he says, "I was just messing around."
"I hope you see that corrective actions need to be taken against Carson," Talia says. "My son did nothing wrong here."
O'Reilly still looks lost, but he excuses Talia and Derek with instruction to take the rest of the day off.
On the way to the car, she decides Derek's brow needs stitches. He protests, fearing that means causing his mate more pain. She insists, though, and her tone tells him not to argue. Once in the car, she kisses his forehead. "It's okay to get angry, but be careful, son."
"My class talks about it all damn day. I don't even think about it.” Derek says, slamming the door. “He’s still a kid.”
Talia nods. "I know, honey. Ignore them."
Derek snorts and looks out the window.
"And the language was a little too much," she says as she backs up.
Derek's angry still. He just shakes his head. "Whatever."
She raises her eyebrows at him. "Excuse me?"
"Whatever," Derek repeats, louder. "You don't get it. You never will. Because you found dad when you were six. Which, incase you forgot, was when I found kind out that I even have a mate. Six years, mom. I'll be twenty-four when he's legal, but have to listen to people talk about it all day. I'm done."
It's silent between them, even in the waiting room in the ER. He's staring at the mark, wishing the line were still there, wishing he wasn't alone again.
He's called back and he tells his mom not to follow.
The nurse is friendly. "Little bit of a fight?" She asks, smiling.
Derek huffs. "A little."
"My son got in a fight yesterday. Thankfully, I didn't have to do stitches. Did you fight when you were twelve?"
Derek's heart jumps at the age. "No ma'am," he says. "But maybe if I had a good reason."
"Someone told Scott’s soulmate she was pretty so he punched the guy in the nose," the nurse, Melissa according to her nametag, says. "He got suspended. Now he's running around here, bothering my patients and me." Derek notices her own mark then – scarred over, no longer black against her skin – lost love. Either by death or falling out. He looks away.
As if on cue, a curly haired boy peaks into the door. "Stiles and I are going to the cafeteria," he says, peeking at Derek.
She turns around with a quiet apology to Derek. A boy with a buzz cut pushes Scott, and the two all but fall into the room. Derek hasn't been around any twelve year olds other than Cora, and it's weird to see that this is around the age his mate is.
The buzz cut boy - Stiles? - is staring at him. It makes Derek feel awkward, so he purposefully avoids his eyes.
"What'd you do?" Scott asks, stepping closer to Derek.
"Boys, leave Derek alone. Go eat lunch," Melissa says, shaking her head fondly. She whispers another apology to Derek.
"I got in a fight," Derek says. "This is what happens if you fight."
Scott rolls his eyes, but he looks unsure. "My mom told you to say that."
Derek shakes his head. "Nope. Bloody noses and black eyes are in your future."
Stiles squeaks, pulls on Scott's arm and all but drags him from the room.
Melissa laughs. "Stiles isn't a fan of blood. His dad's a deputy, though, so no chance of Stiles following him to work today."
She's wiping antiseptic on his brow now and Derek's grateful. His mate has had enough pain for the day.
"Did he fight too?" Derek asks after the first stitch. It doesn’t too badly, but he still checks his wrist.
"Not with his fists. He's got creative with his mouth, though. Those boys are inseparable. It's dangerous." She laughs, and Derek can see how much she loves them both.
Two stitches later and she stops. "Hold on, please tell me this fight wasn't because of your soulmate. Please tell me that everyone grows up and moves on."
Derek grins at her. "Wish I could tell you that," he says, shrugging slightly.
She laughs and shakes her head. "Well, guess I should prepare now."
Derek leaves with four stitches and instructions to be careful. He tells her good luck with her son.
In the car, he knows his mom wants to have a serious conversation about the situation, but he's really not interested. He wants to finish senior year and play baseball. Everything is just a distraction until he finds his soulmate.
"Your father wants to discuss a few things with you," Talia says, just as they’re pulling onto the driveway.
"I don't want to talk about it," Derek says, turning away from her.
"I think you could benefit from speaking with him." Talia says, voice stern.
Derek just grunts.
His father does call him into his office that night, despite Derek telling him that he didn't need to talk. Twice.
"I just want to talk about the age difference." Samuel says.
Derek rolls his eyes. "As if that makes this better."
"I'm worried that you're getting angry at your soulmate. Research shows, Derek-"
"Research shows a negative effect on the soulmate if one is angry at the other before meeting," Derek finishes. "I know what research says." Because he does. He’s read several books and has heard about it at school. He doesn’t need to be reminded.
Samuel sighs. "It's not his fault, Derek. He didn't get to choose, either."
"Whatever." He knows this.
"Derek. He could be angry too, but he's not."
"There's no reason for him to be angry! He doesn't know that I'm six years older and that we can't be together for at least that amount of time!" Derek snaps.
"Is that what this is about?" Samuel says. “About a ceremony? About…sex?”
Derek narrows his eyes. He doesn’t need his dad judging him about any of this, and he definitely doesn’t need to talk about sex with him.
"You have a soulmate, Derek. Just because you can't marry him right out of school like your friends...it isn't the end of the world."
"Coming from someone who had his first kid when he was three years younger than I'll be when I can even sleep with him, that's real comforting." Derek says, standing up. "I'm alone. Still."
He stays in his room for the rest of the night, tossing a baseball toward the ceiling until his arms are sore.
His mate has a panic attack sometime in the middle of the night, causing Derek to wake up gasping for air. He's rubbing the mark again, feeling the extra raise in his skin and longing to be with them instead. The mark stays for a lot longer than it usually does, burning and pulsing. He doesn’t remember the last time a panic attack lasted this long, but he doesn’t like it. He can't fall back asleep, too anxious about his soulmate and the reason behind the panic attack that's still dragging on. He ends up downstairs, pacing in front of the door with the urge to get out of the house.
Talia comes out of her room, eyes wide. "Derek Samuel. What are you doing?"
He raises his wrist slightly. "He's panicking."
Talia eyebrows draw together. "He's had a panic attack before, honey. Why on earth are you stomping in my foyer?"
"Because it's not stopping," Derek says, lifting his wrist again. "It hasn't lasted this long before."
Talia sighs, but Derek can tell she's sympathetic. "You can't do anything about it, honey."
"I can't just go back to sleep, either."
Talia kisses his forehead and goes back to bed, an "I love you, try to get some sleep," thrown over her shoulder.
Derek does go back upstairs, but he can't find it in him to lie back down. He paces across his room, kicking the baseball he had been throwing earlier.
A few minutes later, his mark burns hotter, and then pain shoots across his knuckles. It travels to his wrist before disappearing. The burning mark pulses for only a few more seconds before fading.
Derek thinks his mate punched something. He hopes he's okay. Without the pulsing pain and the raised line gone again, Derek falls back asleep, dreaming of arms that will hold him – brown eyes that will understand.
Derek spends the weeks leading up to his 18th birthday in bed. For most of his friends, this means legally being able to have a ceremony. Even though most are waiting until after graduation, the number still means nothing to him.
Laura crawls into bed next to him and starts playing with his hair, which he'll never admit to loving as much as he does. "I know you're upset, but at least try to be excited about turning 18." She says, poking his side.
"The only 18th birthday I'm exited for is in 6 years," he says, leaning into her touch more.
"You could meet him before then, Der. 18 is just for the ceremony."
"And age of consent when it comes to us," Derek points out.
Laura rolls her eyes. "Like you'd actually obey if you met him sooner than that."
Derek shrugs. He thinks he actually might. "It's not like I'm around twelve year olds ever."
"So convince Cora to have a boy-girl party this year!"
“Cora’s thirteen.”
“So, she’s friends with everyone in the class before hers.” Laura says, crossing her arms.
"And what, go touch all her friends? That's great Laura, not creepy in the slightest."
She flicks his nose but doesn't respond, so Derek knows she didn't actually think it through.
"Don't be sad, Der-bear." She says, in a sing-song voice.
"Don't call me that," he says, rolling his eyes. "I'm too old for that."
She kisses his cheek and hops up. "I still have two days before you're too old for it, baby brother. Nice try."
He has his second dream ever on Christmas Eve. The same brown eyes are there, the voice older now, but it’s still far away. Derek can see long fingers and lanky limbs and then it's all over. It makes his birthday even worse.
His dad bought him a dirt bike, which he accidentally crashes an hour later. The bike is fine thankfully, but his wrist is definitely not. His mark is burning and he feels really bad for giving his mate pain on Christmas. He apologizes by rubbing the mark, even though it doesn't change anything. Talia insists on an ER trip despite Derek's protests.
When Melissa calls him back, Derek's almost embarrassed.
"I hope it wasn't a fight this time," Melissa says, her eyes full of joy.
Derek shakes his head. "No ma'am. Crashed my new dirt bike."
"I hope you didn't break your Christmas present on Christmas," she says, raising an eyebrow. She's setting up an X-ray machine and Derek's hoping to all things holy that it's not broken.
"Birthday present," Derek corrects. "But no, it's in one piece."
"A Christmas baby," she says, smiling. "Is it as great as my son seems to think it would be?"
Derek shrugs. "Probably not."
She grins. "I'll make sure I tell him that."
"Is he with his dad today?" Derek asks, immediately realizing it was none of his business. He starts to apologize, but she shakes her head. He remembers seeing her mark, scarred – lost love.
"It's just Scott and me. He's probably still asleep, not even missing me. I'm off an in hour and we'll have dinner with friends later."
Derek nods. "Is he still fighting?"
She's moving his wrists carefully on the machine and snapping pictures. Looking at it on the machine, Derek can tell it's broken. "No, thankfully. It only took one other suspension for him to stop, so I'll call it a victory." She laughs. “Though, I think it was his soulmate, Allison, that really convinced him to stop, not me.”
Derek laughs at that. She brings him to a room and promises to be back soon.
"Sorry, Mr. Hale," she says as she enters, sliding an X-ray into the light box. "Broken."
Derek sighs. "Figured." He looks at his wrist and sighs. "Does it need to be reset?"
She nods. "The doctor will be in soon. I'll get some anesthetic started first, though."
"Thank god," Derek says, relaxing.
She smiles. "It shouldn't hurt as bad at least."
"I'm not worried about me," Derek says, lifting his soulmate hand slightly, as explanation.
Melissa smiles. "Do they complain?"
Derek shrugs. "Don't know him. But a broken wrist on Christmas isn't exactly fun."
She smiles wider. "I'm sure he can take it."
Derek shrugs, not sure it's appropriate to say that he's only a kid.
"Well, I'm sure he'll appreciate it when you do meet him." Melissa says.
Derek smiles at her, suddenly too curious about what his mate is doing today. He wonders what Christmas without a mom feels like and then he wishes he could be there for him. He feels alone again.
The reset causes his mark to pulse again, just for a second, and Derek hopes his mate isn't too upset by it. It's harder to rub the mark now, but he still does it. Melissa sends him home with painkillers and a sling, making him promise to be careful for the next few weeks until it heals.
Talia is acting odd in the car, too happy and too quick to speak. Derek can tell something weird is happening and he doesn't like it.
"Carter and Laura have a surprise for you," she says finally. She pulls into the driveway and Derek immediately notices another car there.
He narrows his eyes, suddenly feeling sick to his stomach. "Who's here?"
"Come on, come meet them."
"I don't want too," Derek says. "Not until I know who it is."
Talia rolls her eyes. "I promise you'll like them both, Derek. Come inside."
Derek does, even more confused when a couple that's probably a few years older than Laura and Carter are sitting in the living room with his family.
The woman stands up immediately, smiling wide. "Derek, it's a pleasure to finally meet you. I'm Callie, and this is my husband Blake."
Derek forces a smile and shakes her hand. "Uh, nice to meet you too."
Blake laughs. "Not really a good way to say it, so I’ll be outright - I'm 33."
"And I'm 26." Callie says, smiling wide. They both hold up their wrists to show matching marks and Derek reaches out to touch them immediately, his heart jumping in his chest. A six year age difference.
From behind him, he hears his mother quietly scold him for touching without asking, but he doesn't care.
"How'd you find them?" Derek asks, glances at Carter and Laura.
"I'm planning their ceremony," Laura says, smiling wide.
Derek frowns for a second - he really hopes he's not 33 when he first finds his soulmate.
"We've known for 6 years," Blake says, reading the look on his face. "We met in college and Callie wanted to finish school before the ceremony."
Derek nods, realizes he's rubbing his own mark now. "Are there more?"
Carter nods. "I've been able to find three other couples. There's two guys that live in New York that said they'd love to Skype, if you wanted."
Derek nods and turns back to Blake and Callie. He wants to know everything.
Callie and Blake end up staying until 10:30, telling story after story, listening to Derek tell his, and giving advice. Callie knew what Blake looked like for two years before they met, while Blake had only her eye color and voice - Derek wondered if his mate knew what he looked like yet. Callie said that she always knew that her mate was more than three years older, and his mate probably did too. That made Derek nervous, but the feeling of not being alone – hopefulness for his future with a soulmate – wins out.