Work Text:
Today was the day. THE DAY.
It was International Titty Day.
TITTIES.
So the Hunters decided to make a really big deal about it and throw a titty party.
Titty Party.
Sounds so fun, right?/?
Lol.
"I've seen some tits." Tonpa said, as he sat back and sipped some tea like a gent.
"I thought it was 'I've seen some sh-!'" Pariston was interrupted.
"Tits." Tonpa corrected.
When the fuck did this bastard get swag?
Whateva.
So anyways, there was a contest going on to see who had tHA biGGeST TITTAYS. And all the girls that had titties had entered. (lol they hav e those inhunter x Hunter?)
There was:
Shizuku, of the Phantom Troupe,
Asta, from Greed Island,
Menchi, the second examiner from the Hunter Exam,
Pakunoda, but she's fucking dead. They brought her corpse, which still had titays,
that one girl with the big titaies from Aiai City, from Greed Island,
Biscuit Krueger,
Palm Siberia (hahaha she hda titais??),
and...
Aunt Mito.
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTATHA!??!
"alright lets touch the tittios and see which i sbigest." said one of the judges.
"Ah sorry kid youcant enter cuz you're a pettanko." said anothe rjudge as they inspected Biscuit.
"fUck off man, if've been doibng squats." Bisky answered.
"retaderded tsurupettan don't you gegt it? this is a Tiity Contestnot an Ass contest. geez dumb kids lol." the judge shook their head.
But thEn Bisky turned into her TTRUe Form, her BARA form. it did hasve tittays after all.
"Hmm... Acceptable." the judge saaid. "okay You'refree to go."
Aunt Mito hadbeen doing squats too tho. So likeBisky had competition.
Bisky looked at Aunt Mito's well toned thighs and bubble buttttttty. She snreeedred "great More RTrash."
And the ToUcHing commenced.
the judges touched tittis.
well good thing Leorioreo isn't here.
haha fag.
...
"hmmm.. There sure are a lot of big tittiays today." Chrollo said.
He was a judge.
WHAT.
"Lol paku's tits were preserved." Phinks said.
" i kno rite?? hahaa s." Feitan laughed too. You could tell they were ghey.
"Fucking Boys. " Machi said.
BUT THEN ALLL OF A SUDDDNEE HISOKA SHOWED UP.
WITH BIG TAYTTS!!
HE SCHWINGED!!
"wah man Wehere'd you get those tits." Chrollo asked.
"Ah~ I ripped Illumi-kun ass off and taped it to my chest~"
"wHAT?!?!?!" Pihknis screamed
"EWW WFUXKCER!!" Machi was offended.
LOL.
"nice Job hiokaa.s" Chrollo said, pattin Illumi's poor ass.
"Machi-chan~ You should join the contest too~ I'm sure you have very nice-"
Hisoka was uppercutted by Machcicc. "BAKAKAAA!!! DOnt TLAK aBOUT MY tItS!"
Machi was very insecure about her bloobies.
haha
Hisoka was still happy because he's a motherfucker.
And he entered the contest.
Since Chrollo was a judge, he let him pass.
"Boss, why..." Shizuku thought.
Asta was very busy juggling teniss balls between her boobehsss, the girl with teh titays from Aiai city kept falling over like a shitntt, Bisky and Mito were havin g a squats contest, Pakunoda was fucking dead, Mechi was scloding Buhara, and Palm was looking around anxiously.
bUt why Palm?
Then she saw it. Gon Freecs.
Gon and Killua had just bought some ice cream cones and they haapened to be passing by. Killua saw the TEREROR!!
"OMFG GON NO DONT LOOK COVER YOUR EYES>!!!" he SCREMAED as he covered the BoyFriend's ss eyes. He dropped his ice cream cone in the process.
"Doushite, Killaua?! " Gon asked.
"TRSUT ME YOu DON't WANNA See.!!"Killua exclimqaed!
Then Killua causght sight of AUNT MITO. not only was she THERe but she was DOING SQAUTS IN YOGA PANTS.
OHMY FUCKING GOD KILLUA THOUGHT!!!
ICANT LET GON SEE IT!!!
"Hahahaha gon Let's go ... To SEAWORLD YAAA!!" He kept kicking Gon forward.
But then palm scrEMaed and ran over to them.
"Child." she said in a voice lacking enthusiams.
"fBITCH g e t OFF MY MAN!" Killua smacked heer sweaty Palms. (LMFAO)
Palm cried and ran away. She ran into a gingerbread house and die.d
Bye Plamo.
"haha"killua said BUT HE REALIZEDWHEN HE SMACKED PLAM He UVEROCVERED GONS EYES!!!
"Wow, what are They doing??" Gon asked. He was confused.
"UHHH GON!!! Let's GGOO!!"" Killua pushed him towards nowhere.
"Is that Mito-san?!?! MITO-SAN!!!!" Gon exclaimed, running towards his aunt.
"FUCKvDKF GOGRDH HSOH SHIT HO SHIT FKUCIBT DWESHIT EDDIE DKIL ME KGON HNOBN FUKCING ADFHI POOP OO BANANA.!!!" Killua starting scraming JIBerishJH.
And he ran infront ofgOn.
"Hhaha no that's um..." He tried to think of another orange haired person in the series.
"That's Ichigo Kurosaki, he umm. . Got a sex change so he has titties now!! hahahahahha" Killua cotinued.
"Killua, what's a sex change? And what is Titties?"Gon asked, confused.
at least he was distracted now lel.
"OUMM HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW TITAITSS?!?" Killua exclaimed but got bac k On topic. "Ummm. . . Gon YOUR ICECREAM IS MELTING!!!" 'On topic' lel.
"Oh, it is?" Gon aksed, "Hey isn't that Hisoka?"
"UMGUHHMUMH OMG !!!" Killua saw it too. The Terror.
Hisoka's tittes aka Illumi's Ass Taped to his Chest.
"GUCKCKF!!"
All this time, Mito hadn't noticed Gon. Too busy trying to win The Squatfest. "Gurl, Do you Even SQUAT?"
Lol.
"Why'd stufff Fox Bear Cub in his shirt???" Gonasked. Poor baby.
"Umm.. .Gon .. Uh.."" Poor Killua.
"LEt's go Ask him!" Gon exclaimed, rushing to hisoka.
"WHAT THE FUCK gNO !!" NO!!" Kilua.
So Gon walked over to Hisoka and asked him why he had a fox bear bub in his shirt.
"Oh~ This~? This is... MY.... Big Tittays." he explained.
"What are Tittaiys?" Gon asked. "Kilua won't tell me." Gon asked.
"Oh~ Ringo-chan~ You have a lot to learn, and that is soo fucknigg g Arousning!" Hisoka's crotch began to shine.
IT was time for.
Scwhing..
"NO!!! GON!!" Killua's arms stretched like Luffy motherfocka ass and he grabbedf gon and Gon flew back to him.
"AHHHHHHHHHH" Gon aScreamed.
Hisoka's scwhing illuminated (ILLUMInated. HAHA IM SO GOODL OWLWWOL) everything and everyone died.
...
...
...
Nahkidding.
But it was bright.
Ew.
...
And the winner of the Big Tiddy contst was...
...
...
...
Junko Enoshima.
...
WHAT?
MOTHERFUCKER!!
...
"Tities tiesities titiies DeSPAIR!" She Screamed!
Very despairing indded.
"Well this lady wins. She has the biggest and best titaitss." the judge who wasn't Chrollo said.
"WHaT?! CLEaRLY My TITS a RE BIGGER!" Bisky Screched.
"Next time check yourself before you Shrek yourself." Mito said, after doing 66000 sqauts in a row.
"WHINE WHINE WHINE. " Bisky was whining. lel
"Yes. This despiar rd is very vgood vyyummyyy.." Junko said turned on by the Despair in the atomosphere.
But then Hisoka's titties farted in her face and she fell and passed out.
The despairra was too much for her.
MEchi was still too busy scholding Buhara, Asta got a teninis ball stuck between the vortex between het titays and ws trying to get it out, Pakunoda was dancing Thiller (lo hshes dead), the girl from aiaicity fell into a lava pit anddied (NPCs man), and Shizuku was giving mAchi Bra tips.
They were very useful for Machi. :)
But THEN HISKSAO ITRUPRETEED!
"Machi~ You know you could'v FUCKNIG ASKED ME FOR SHELPEL WITH YOUR BRA SHOPPINGUUU!" he SCREMAED.
"KYAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I ONT WANT HISOAKS TO KNOW MY BRA SIZE!" Then she kicke d him inthe balls shyly and ran away .( Very in character mAchi eyyes)
"Um. The winner is good as dead." Chrollo pointed out.
"Oh, let's find a nEw WIENER!" somebody said.
It was Tonpa.
Shit.
Fuck.
"Excuse me, I think that TITle (GOD IM SO FUNNY! TITle TItle SHAaaaHAHAAA) belongs to me." a voice said.
But who?
It was none other than Chiaki Nanami.
She had titays.
Big Ttiatays,.
And she Pulled Komaeda out of her chest.
Everyone Cheered!! (ecxcept jealous btiches lel)
Then she stuffed him back inthere.
Komaeda cried. There was no Hope inthe dark gap between her boobehs.
and hinata penis
but we don't speako f thAT.
Then Chiaki pulled out Jesus Christ from her boobsies.
And Shrek/
Everybody CHEERED!!!
"ok she wins" Chrollo said with his most emo looking face.
"YAAAAY!!" Chiaki stole (no really) the trophy and went back to Despair land.
She dragged Jnuko with her.
"despair spdhon hedepair deapiss d"
Meanwihel Killua and Gon had seen it all. They were too fucknig shocked. Specially Kiliaua.
"Wow i've seen some tits." said Gon.
KILUUA SCREAME!! "UHHHHHHHHHH NO!" He then threw gon to Hueco Mundo and the problem was svlved.
Then Hisoka's titties fell off.
The crowd was shocked.
They were tfake?!?! So covnincing!!
"Illu-kun's ass just wasn't durable enough~ I Blame the heat~" Then he farted out of his ass and it stunked.
"Hisoka you'redisqualified." Chorolo said.
"But the contest is over anyway" phinks said.
"shut up Assfister buttwipu." Chroolo pimp smacked phinks.
Phinks cried.
"Danchou~ LEt me Sniff your Ass." Hisoka exclaimed unsexily.
"no" Chrollo ran away at a sppeedd of 5000 milesper hour.
Hisoka was sad.
...
Meanwhile, Illumi was crying.
"HIOSKAA WHY COULNDT YOU TAKE MY SHITTIY BROTHERS FAT ROLSLS INSTEAD!!!"
He was assless.
Sitting and Shitting was hard to do now.
He cried more.
The End. :3