Work Text:
the performing arts building is generally locked up after midnight.
after the dance students have filtered their way out, bones heavy and skin pulled far too tight. after the music students wander away, instruments gripped between their fingers and heaved across the campus to the safety of their rooms. after the theatre students are exiled from the auditorium; the production crew refusing to stay longer than they need to.
yet, the lone dancer stays; courtesy of being one of the more… proficient dancers in the program. (it comes with privileges. and additional begging.) and just down the hall, a visual art student, maybe slightly out of place, manoeuvres their fingers across the keys of a piano, a knowing friend conveniently leaving the door unlocked.
they don’t know each other; not personally. but the dancer needs to be grounded, and the pianist seeks stability.
and so—
-
i.
taehyung is not new to the world of art.
philosophy, art, history, art history; he excels in all of them. all of them being foundations in his degree, the stepping stones he’s put down in order to succeed and graduate with knowledge that’ll let him sound smarter than he thinks he is. it didn’t take him long to realize how they all intertwine and mesh together, so he found his footing fairly quickly.
he’s not new to the world of art, but he wavers regularly on inspiration. on something to grasp and hold for longer than a week. long enough for him to put brush to canvas, over and over and over again. long enough that his work makes him proud. more than the grades, maybe something he might like.
taehyung understands his talent. kind of. he sees what others see (“oh, taehyung, you're so talented.”) and how it seems to make people feel, he sees it a lot. he just doesn’t like what he does. his work, what should be his pride and joy, (though he was warned that studying art might suck the life out of it and him — he has a tendency to ignore those types of things). his work is beautiful; it’s some of the best on campus, some of the best in the history of his school. he sees it.
but taehyung isn’t talented. he’s not naturally gifted or graced by god, or whatever they say. he didn’t refine his talent or work with what was given to him. he was a kid who picked up a paintbrush and dragged lines of unlikely colours together and said, “eomma look!” and was met with praise. he found a hobby and worked himself into the ground with practice. actually—
“this might sound stupid…”
“go for it.”
“i hate when people say i’m talented.”
taehyung knows his art, and he respects the opinions of those who appreciate it, but he puts value in his work. and he cannot do it anymore.
“oh?”
“they keep saying it. i don't even like what i put out. it’s all rushed, and i could pick the flaws out just by glancing at it.”
“taehyung-ah, art is supposed to be subjective.”
“i can’t chalk it up to talent when i’m not happy with it. when it’s not my best work. when i haven’t been talented, and my actual good hard work gets accredited to talent.”
“i see.”
taehyung is not talented, but he is a fine painter who needs something more than come and go.
-
ii.
at the centre of the solar system, there sits the sun. and we and everyone we love, those we hate, all of them, rotate around it. consistently.
just round and round and round and—
“what the actual fuck is happening here?”
taehyung has a mini solar system that he frequents. it’s more that they show up at random, and then they all get together and do whatever they decide at that moment. if he had to choose his sun, it would probably be jeongguk, but that’s only because he’s the youngest, and so they all revolve around him.
“taehyung-ah, what is going on?”
then again, seokjin has a strong hold on all of them, so maybe he’s their true sun.
“i dunno, seokjin-hyung. i just woke up ten minutes ago.”
a fact.
“don’t lie. i saw you earlier today with yoongi-hyung.”
that’s also true.
“so what? i’m pro-nap.”
jeongguk expresses his displeasure at that and makes an attempt to leave the room. seokjin, however, has other plans and sits him down. namjoon sits quietly in his seat at the kitchen island.
taehyung shares the apartment with jeongguk; the two of them bonded quickly in their respective second and first years. seokjin and namjoon welcomed him with open arms, namjoon with formality and seokjin, who took him in as a second child. (the first being taehyung. much to his dismay.) their little group is exactly that, little, but they survive, and it’s home.
anyway, it’s a decent place. two bedrooms, one whole bathroom, a kitchen and a living room. taehyung’s parents covered half of the rent until jeongguk moved in, and then they were solid.
seokjin had walked in on jeongguk and namjoon engaged in what seemed to be a fierce round of just dance, which taehyung had fallen asleep through because he is a mere university student (meaning he does not sleep enough at night). namjoon was losing (no matter how hard he tried to mimic the moves of an animated panda) to jeongguk’s flawless rendition of the other dancer, who they think is meant to represent kesha.
it’s a crime, lesser-known, maybe a little fake, to load up just dance without seokjin.
“i’m kicking all of your asses.”
“but, hyung, i’m already bad enough.”
“shut up, namjoon, all is fair in love and just dance.”
taehyung’s face lights up from his position on the couch, where he can see seokjin changing the song and shoving jeongguk over. he waves at namjoon and shakes his head at his friend’s pleas to switch places with him. instead, he closes his eyes as the dance begins, and is welcomed by the hands of sleep pulling him under.
-
iii.
yoongi pretends he isn’t a staple in their friend group.
he floats in and out, is busy more often than not, and so it’s hard to meet up. this hasn’t stopped seokjin from inviting him every single time; taehyung thinks yoongi appreciates it.
(he knows so.)
yoongi-hyung [1:23 p.m.]
are you still with your anti-talent mentality
taehyung [1:24 p.m.]
you talk to namjoon too much
yoongi-hyung [1:26 p.m.]
i work with him. can you answer the question
taehyung [1:27 p.m.]
it’s bad enough that ur dating jin-hyung
and yes
yoongi-hyung [1:30 p.m.]
we are not dating.
taehyung [1:30 p.m.]
ooo spicy hyung
tell him i say hi!
yoongi-hyung [1:32 p.m.]
fuck you i’ll stand you up
taehyung [1:32 p.m.]
no pls i’m sorry
read
yoongi doesn’t stand him up, as taehyung didn’t think he would, because they’ve been doing this for three years now, and it’s routine. taehyung looks forward to seeing him every week because he knows how busy it gets and loves yoongi for trying.
“i heard you fell asleep yesterday.”
“i told you you talk to namjoon too much.”
yoongi scoffs and prods at his coffee cup. “how do you know it was joon and not seokjin?”
“because you admitting to hanging out with jin-hyung makes no sense.”
“shut up,” yoongi says, but taehyung can see the flush of pink lighting up his skin.
yoongi and seokjin are an odd couple, so to speak, because yoongi is yoongi, and seokjin is so seokjin. and somehow, they met through namjoon, were tethered by taehyung, and grew soft with jeongguk. now he, yoongi, meets up with taehyung to catch up, still works with namjoon, and brings jeongguk gimbap on a regular basis (unprompted).
seokjin doesn’t talk about yoongi much, but taehyung can see the way his ears taint pink at any mention of his name. yoongi is similar, except he grows more defensive, but taehyung sees through him. he’s just a little scared of love, that's all.
“so, what’s up in tae-land?”
“nothing new, i’m sure, hyung.”
there’s a pause as yoongi swallows the remnants of his drink, dark coffee swirling down his throat.
“did you look at the music i sent you, at least?”
“um…” taehyung’s focus moves from his silver-haired friend to the red and purple wrapped around his fingers. sometimes he forgets to scrape the paint away before he leaves.
“i’m not going to sneak you in if you don’t look at the music beforehand.”
“okay, i’m sorry. i’ll check it out tonight.”
“good. i’ll see you later then.”
yoongi pushes himself out of the seat and waves briefly at taehyung before he leaves. it’s a known fact among their group that he doesn’t have classes for the rest of the day, but he takes the afternoon to sleep. yoongi is almost nocturnal, they’re sure.
taehyung doesn’t look at the music, yoongi won’t see him later.
-
iv.
art kids (+ namjoon)
jinnie [12:08 p.m.]
who’s up for movie night!
jk [12:09 p.m.]
…do we have to watch what you pick
jinnie [12:09 p.m.]
you’re so rude. it’s taehyung’s turn actually
tae [12:11 p.m.]
pass im busy tonight
namjoon you can pick
jinnie [12:12 p.m.]
no
jk: [12:12 p.m.]
fuck
namjoon [12:23 p.m.]
hey :(
min suga [12:24 p.m.]
namjoon is with me right now. we’re both out all night
jinnie [12:24 p.m.]
yoongi!
min suga [12:26 p.m.]
we can do tomorrow if you want
tae [12:29 p.m.]
did you just make plans?
jk [12:30 p.m.]
^
namjoon [12:30 p.m.]
^^
jinnie [12:30 p.m.]
^^^
min suga [12:34 p.m.]
fuck off
jinnie [12:35 p.m.]
ok! see you all tomorrow at six on the dot >o<
read by 4.
.
it starts with a river.
actually, it starts with a singularity causing the formation of time and space, typically referred to as the big bang but—
today, it starts with a river.
it’s more so what surrounds the river than the river itself, but this is the river’s home, and so it begins with the river’s home and those who pass through.
taehyung finds that, much like himself, the river is ever moving and passing through and through the space like it has somewhere to be. (naturally, he understands the situation and obviously, it has places to be, except it has a plan, and this is unlike himself.)
in the present day, the river has nowhere to be; winter is rooting itself in the soil and holding the current with it.
winter on campus is strange because the athletes still go on their runs while everybody else is crowded in the confines of their dorms or the buildings themselves. the art students do a little bit of both; some dancers wanting to stay fit in the snow, while the visual art students work on references and the rose-tinted features of their friends as they chill their bones.
taehyung sits at the mouth of the river, layered in clothing he’s accumulated through the years. there’s a pile of sheet music in front of him, corners of the pages fluttering every time the wind makes itself known. although it’s been abandoned on taehyung’s desk since all those weeks ago, it’s still in pristine condition, courtesy of the folder yoongi gave him.
the season of snow isn’t good for taehyung artistically because he delves deep into the mind of his work and comes up with nothing; ironic because the mind of his work is the soul belonging to him. winter makes him too comfortable in the nothing, and he forgets how to move from nothing to anything.
yoongi and namjoon, with their producer brains, sent him down the music route. while namjoon only encouraged it, yoongi sat with him for two years and taught him piano. he goes to the keys in the winter now; it’s a winter thing. music and his warmer days don’t mix... not that he’s tried.
nocturn no.2 in c minor stares up at him as he studies the notes on the staff. it’s been three days he’s spent at the river, stopping by after his classes before he goes home. it seems to be doing him some good if yoongi’s irregular praise is anything to go by.
(“sounds good, tae-ah. watch your timing a little.”)
so he watches his timing and mimics fingerings like the ice in front of him is a set of strings and keys upon wood.
-
v.
as an artist, taehyung knows, logically, what to do to represent emotion.
reds and oranges are bright and vivacious, usually matched with anger or passion. blues and greys are more forlorn; they hold more weight to them. (interestingly enough, these are the colours taehyung dons his palette with the most.) whites are used in innocence, and black goes right the other way.
as a musician, taehyung doesn’t know what he’s doing.
as a musician, the performing arts building doesn’t bring him the same joy as those who frequent it. he lives behind his work, not in it, not in the foreground.
room 110 is home to one of three pianos in the building. the other two living in the auditorium and the lobby of said building. it’s the only piano hidden away from prying eyes. it’s also the one yoongi lets taehyung use, as he’s often the last to leave, and so he’s trusted to lock up.
it’s been two weeks since he started playing here. he plays with the door open because it doesn’t echo as much, and he doesn’t have to listen to notes bouncing off the walls and into his skull, where they rattle around before falling flat against his ribcage.
it’s easier that way.
taehyung doesn’t hear the bass-boosted track coming from two doors down. that door is locked and then dark by the time he leaves.
-
vi.
jimin has one friend.
not that he minds; hoseok is a lovely person to have around. he could say he has two friends, but the other one is very into music production and not leaving his house.
hoseok is his best friend who’s very into dance, and the tall man he says works at the university’s library. he also frequents jimin’s dorm to—
“—we have tteokbokki!”
and there’s jeongguk, who hoseok met at some dance thing one night, and now they’re almost attached at the hip. jimin knows he has other friends; he doesn’t mind that either.
when he pulls the door open, he’s met with a heart-shaped smile and bunny teeth with rosy cheeks. hoseok beams brighter at him before wandering past him with jeongguk in tow.
“hi, jimin-hyung!”
“hi, ‘guk. how’s hobi-hyung treating you?”
to this, jeongguk has to hold back his laugh. “he made us stop by to see joon-hyung before we came here.”
sometimes jimin forgets jeongguk tethers hoseok’s romance and jimin’s friend group together. not that it’s much of a group. more of a duo. or one of those desks in high school where you can seat four people if you put them all together.
“that sounds awful.”
hoseok glares at them from his spot in jimin’s kitchen, where he’s dishing out food and drinks. (a sprite for himself, one hot chocolate for jimin, and a powerade for jeongguk.)
“it was. namjoon-hyung is so embarrassing. i almost died there.”
jimin represses a series of giggles and accepts the plate hoseok is offering to him. the tteokbokki doesn’t last very long, and jimin can say the same about the others because soon jeongguk is leaning over to steal from him. a shame he doesn’t have any left.
there’s a fervent buzzing coming from jeongguk’s phone that distracts him from any further thievery, and jimin sees the way his eyes light up.
he wonders if hoseok reacts that way when he texts him.
“ah, jeonggukie. how famous you are,” hoseok says.
jeongguk shakes his head, no. “it’s just jin-hyung.”
jimin has heard about this ‘jin-hyung.’ only because he’s the lead in almost every play their school puts on, and while he seems to be very humble (jeongguk disagrees), he’s a star at what he does.
jimin wishes to be like him.
-
vii.
room 116 in the performing arts building is home to one person. technically, it’s open to anybody, but park jimin spends most of his time there, so it practically belongs to him. (that, and he begged his professor to let him stay after hours.)
in winter, he doesn’t do as much rehearsing as usual because the icy chill injects itself into his veins and settles all day and all night. in return, he settles for melting it away in this practice room until his skin is sparkling, and he has to drag himself home. he teaches himself new choreography; he creates new ways to move himself to whatever music he finds.
most nights, he can tell he’s alone because all down the hallway, it’s pitch black. it’s eerie. tonight, the light in 110 is on, and that doesn’t make sense. jimin can hear the delicate workings of a piano floating toward him. odd.
he should wonder who’s behind the music, and he will, but he doesn’t want to disturb them, so instead, he shuts his room down and locks the door on his way out.
jimin! [1:00 a.m.]
there’s someone playing piano rn
hobi-hyung [1:01 a.m.]
OMG did u go say hi
jimin! [1:03 a.m.]
why would i do that
hobi-hyung [1:05 a.m.]
idk maybe it’s your soulmate
makes sense to me
jimin! [1:08 a.m.]
no thanks
hobi-hyung [1:08 a.m.]
:(
jimin! [1:09 a.m.]
gn hobi-hyung <3
hobi-hyung [1:10 a.m.]
goodnight jimin! :D
read
-
viii.
nocturn no.2 in c minor takes over taehyung’s life very fast. sometimes yoongi will stop by before he heads home and listen to taehyung play, which scares taehyung out of his mind, but he appreciates the feedback. sometimes yoongi will remind him to turn the lights off in room 116, taehyung doesn't know why he says that because he never uses that room, and it’s usually empty when he leaves.
sometimes taehyung thinks yoongi sees ghosts.
ghosts or not, he finds a new piece to play soon after conquering this one. granted, it’s also from yoongi and this time written and produced by him. and there are vocals. and he really just got the piece two seconds ago, so it’s fresh and–
art kids (+ namjoon)
min suga [2:36 p.m.]
[09_yet_to_come]
jinnie [2:40 p.m.]
TAEHYUNG OPEN YOUR DOOR
NOW
HURRY UP
tae [2:40 p.m.]
um
guk?
jk [2:41 p.m.]
yeah i got it
read by 2.
min yoongi is really good at what he does. there’s something special about him and the way he carries himself and his work. he shuts himself away from the world, all quiet and mysterious, but then procures the most brilliant work anyone has ever heard. there are layers and nuances to yoongi’s work.
taehyung wants to be like him in his own right.
“taehyung-ah! jeongguk-ah! did you hear it!”
jeongguk shuffles in behind seokjin as the elder makes himself comfortable on taehyung’s freshly made bed. taehyung sets aside his music and turns to face the pair, aware that kim seokjin requires his full attention.
“no, hyung.”
“tae-hyung, why would you say that.”
taehyung is devious at the best of times.
so, seokjin plays the track yoongi sent, which is laced with the piano he’s going to learn, and the vocals of his best friends. and although it’s already been made, taehyung feels like he’s contributing.
this, yoongi might’ve known.
-
ix.
“hyung, can you explain this?”
jeongguk decided to major in dance and take philosophy as one of his electives, which taehyung knows far too much about. he situates himself on the sofa and peers over jeongguk’s notes, catching glimpses of philosophers and theories that he remembers from his own second year.
“what do you need help with?”
“this. the ship thing. isn’t it the same ship?”
the ship of theseus is an ongoing debate. on one hand, it retains the title of ‘ship of theseus,’ but if it’s been rebuilt with new materials, is it truly the same? taehyung doesn’t think so; if we change as we age, are we still the same person? taehyung would argue that he is different than he was at eight and sixteen. he relays this to jeongguk, who looks at him confused but nods nonetheless.
“can i connect that to anything else? this paper is kicking my ass.”
“yeah, uh, do you have anything on heraclitus?”
jeongguk eyes his notes and moves them aside so he can find what he’s looking for. it’s seemingly lost elsewhere.
“oh, fuck,” he says. “i think i left them in the library.”
“that’s okay. ask joon-hyung to bring them after his shift.”
jeongguk nods, with a determined look in his eyes that taehyung doesn't understand, but the younger boy is texting namjoon, so it’s all okay. taehyung moves away and begins to head in the direction of his bedroom when jeongguk flings his mechanical pencil at the back of his head.
“what?”
“are you staying out again tonight?”
jeongguk has become aware of taehyung’s late-night trips to the piano, which doesn’t bother him because jeongguk doesn’t interfere. or care at all really. taehyung appreciates that.
“yeah, probably. why?”
“no reason,” jeongguk says. (taehyung doesn’t buy it.)
“‘kay. let me know if you need anything.”
they have a good relationship. are partners in crime when necessary, loving best friends more often than not. taehyung loves jeongguk like his younger brother, and in turn, jeongguk torments him just as such.
taehyung picks flecks off his paintbrush as jeongguk hums to himself in the living room.
-
x.
time escapes him with actual assignments, and soon taehyung begins to wonder what he’s going to do for christmas.
seokjin wanted to throw a party with the five of them, but jeongguk already had his train to busan booked to leave before then, so he’s just heading to daegu with yoongi. namjoon is doing something with a dancer who frequents the university’s library, which leaves taehyung to fend for himself.
the heads of the arts departments put their collective feet down, locked the performance building up for the week leading up to winter break, and are keeping it like that until it’s over. taehyung is at a loss, for he cannot create, and he can’t put art into the world.
and then he meets the ghost.
-
xi
jimin can’t go home for winter break, and hoseok is going off with namjoon, so he’s really stuck on campus. and he can’t dance. life is horrid, and he curses those who say it will go on.
with hoseok gone, he has to drag himself into the wild to find entertainment for himself, because otherwise, he will rot away and become nothing more than a bag of flesh and bones. there’s a coffee shop in the middle of their campus that jimin knows will be mostly empty at this time because, again, it is the week before winter break, and the people who have nothing left to do are gone.
and then he sees a head of silver hair sitting across from one of wavy brown, and he freezes in the doorway.
it’s not often he sees min yoongi out in public. or perhaps they’re just not close enough for him to know that.
“yoongi-hyung?”
yoongi startles in his seat, and the person across from him studies jimin’s face with curious eyes.
“hi, jimin-ah.”
“um.. hi.”
“why do you sound terrified? sit down,” yoongi says. “i was leaving soon anyway.”
“what?”
“what?”
the replies come from jimin and the other person, respectively. jimin silently appreciates them being on the same page.
“taehyung-ah, this is jimin. jimin, taehyung.”
taehyung is very pretty. this is the first thing jimin notices.
taehyung looks like lilies in the spring and the warmth of the sun’s rays during a sunrise.
jimin is enraptured.
“hi, jimin-ssi. nice to meet you.”
yoongi stares at jimin for no more than five seconds before jabbing him in his waist. yoongi has pointy elbows.
“sorry! nice to meet you.”
“okay. i’m leaving now. have fun.”
taehyung and jimin watch yoongi leave and wonder what goes on in his brain. it’s silent in his absence.
“you can sit down, i don’t bite.”
“let’s hope not.”
jimin sits across from taehyung and distracts his hands with the hem of his sweater. he thinks it belongs to hoseok, but he doesn’t really care.
“so… jimin-ssi–”
“you don’t have to say it like that, it's okay.”
“so, jimin-ah, yoongi-hyung?”
jimin hums. “yoongi-hyung. i don’t know much about him, but he did a composition for my dance class one time.”
taehyung’s face lights up. jimin thinks he might set the room on fire with his rectangle smile. jimin wouldn’t mind.
he never really minds.
“you’re a dancer? that’s so cool. my roommate jeongguk does dance too.”
and world stop. jimin thinks jeongguk knows too many people for this to keep happening to him.
“you’re jeongguk’s roommate?”
“you know jeongguk?”
there’s something special about meeting someone who connects all the loose strings in a tangled web of relationships. jimin meeting taehyung closes a lot of loops that he never even noticed, and now he’s tied to one of his own.
maybe he’s found his winter break.
maybe.
it’s possible.
-
xii.
taehyung begins his first winter painting the monday after meeting park jimin.
five whole days after he learns that jimin is majoring in dance and minoring in music theory.
four days after he spends six straight hours just talking to him about the arts as a whole.
and then in the days after, he’s informed that it's jimin who uses room 116.
(“yeah, i use the performance building to practice.” “wait, what room?” “116?” “holy shit.”)
and the base layer of his painting opens with a lavender haze and the faintest hint of pastel blue.
jiminie [2:04 p.m.]
can i ask u something
taehyung sets his brushes down and peers at his phone screen. an unusually eerie comment from jimin.
jimin, his new best friend, who smells like lavender.
unrelated.
taehyungie [2:06 p.m.]
i guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
jiminie [2:07 p.m.]
cute.
what’re you doing tomorrow (christmas eve)? :o
taehyungie [2:08 p.m.]
literally nothing
do you have something in mind
jiminie [2:09 p.m.]
ofc!
christmas market closes tomorrow!!
we should go!!!
taehyungie [2:11 p.m.]
are you driving or
jiminie [2:11 p.m.]
have you never wanted to experience public transit
it’ll be so fun taehyungie
taehyungie [2:12 p.m.]
okay
fine
i’ll see you tmr then…
jiminie [2:12 p.m.]
perfect!
read
taehyung also learned that jimin warms up to people very quickly. at least with him. he learns the same about himself and wonders why that is.
he tries not to think about it.
instead, he will continue his painting and then set aside his nice winter clothes for his christmas market outing with one park jimin.
.
public transit would scare him more if jimin wasn’t holding his hand as they crammed together on the bus. either jimin sensed his nerves or he didn’t want to be lost in the rush; taehyung is fine with both. holding jimin’s hand is very grounding. he feels very present and not like he’s going to float away.
when the bus arrives at its stop, jimin leads taehyung outside and toward the festive lights and booths lined up along the outskirts of the site. it’s pretty; taehyung likes it here.
“come!”
taehyung trails behind jimin, still attached at the fingers. they stop at a booth selling knitted scarves, and while taehyung clearly has one on already, jimin buys one anyway. a fluffy brown thing that he wraps around taehyung’s neck, the excess in material shrouding his face.
“whoops.”
jimin is giggling at him, so taehyung just looks at him like he’s his whole world.
he doesn’t think about that.
that’s a dangerous thought to be having.
jimin leads them through more stalls and pauses at most of them just to see what’s going on. taehyung watches him smile at every person he makes eye contact with and swims in the way his eyes turn into little crescent moons.
there’s a big, big, big tree amid all the festivities, standing tall, decorated with all kinds of ornaments. taehyung follows jimin toward the tree and then past it as they stumble up a hill.
“jimin? where are we going?”
jimin lets out a quiet hmph and drops into the snow.
taehyung stares at him.
odd.
“um.”
taehyung has been considered many things in life. some of them aren’t the most pleasant, but he doesn’t care to remember those right now. he’s been deemed ‘strange’ by those in his middle school, and his high school, and then he moved away, so those words went lost with his younger years. however strange he may or may not have been, younger taehyung would join jimin in the snow.
this taehyung right now is very confused.
he doesn't have much of a choice because he’s out with jimin, and jimin drags him down before he can protest.
“hey!”
“shhh, taehyungie. look.”
what differs between taehyung and jimin is that jimin is good at surprises, and taehyung can’t ever seem to get them right. the fireworks that shoot up into the sky and pop right before their eyes take any apprehension out of taehyung’s face and replace it with awe.
fireworks in the winter.
interesting.
“isn’t it beautiful? hobi-hyung told me about them before he left.”
taehyung nods.
he’s not looking at the fireworks, but he agrees.
-
xiii.
jimin often feels like the world is disappearing beneath his feet.
like he’s floating up and up and away, and he’s not sure what’ll happen if he goes too far.
like the dreams where you’re falling, and then you wake with a start because whoops, you may have just died.
that’s why he likes dancing so much. because with every leap, with every step he presses into the crevices of the floorboards, he connects with the world under his toes.
walking home with taehyung seems to be just as grounding.
he wonders if taehyung feels the same.
(he does.)
taehyung’s brown scarf is wrapped around his neck, and his long pretty coat is draped over jimin’s shoulders. because jimin got them cold in the snow, and because taehyung is a gentleman, he's sacrificing himself for the sake of jimin’s health.
“i like your front door.”
it’s a normal front door. nothing special, jimin thinks.
“thank you.”
a beat.
jimin thinks he likes taehyung.
like as in he wants to walk him to class and get to know him more than just this past week.
and he wants to do all those things and then some, and then maybe soon he’ll stop staring into his eyes as if taehyung knows what he’s thinking and—
oh.
oh.
“i don’t usually kiss on the first date.”
taehyung flushes red and whispers what seems to be an apology into the air pocket separating the two. “then this doesn’t count. no one told me this was a date.”
jimin smiles into taehyung’s shoulder, hiding his face in the confines of his collarbones. “i just decided it right now.”
“mm. okay.”
it’s quiet tonight.
maybe—
“do you want to come in?”
taehyung pauses as if lost in thought. jimin waits.
“it’s okay, jimin-ah. i’ll see you tomorrow.”
it’s not bittersweet or sad. taehyung will just see jimin tomorrow.
“okay. goodnight.”
jimin watches taehyung walk back down the street with his hands tucked neatly into the pocket of his sweater.
it’s cold tonight.
panic flashes across jimin’s face as he fumbles for his phone and pulls up taehyung’s contact.
jiminie [10:56 p.m.]
you forgot your jacket!
taehyung replies soon after he’s situated himself in his tiny armchair, coat tucked neatly under his chin.
taehyungie [11:03 p.m.]
that’s okay
keep it
in case you plan on spending any more time in the snow
read
jimin drops his face into the fabric and stays there until the smile falls from his lips.
(it doesn’t. not for a little while.)
-
xiv.
taehyung [12:04 a.m.]
how soon is too soon to think you’re in love with someone
yoongi-hyung [12:26 a.m.]
why are you asking me
hold on.
.
jin-hyung [12:30 a.m.]
for most people i think under six months
for you, i don’t think too soon exists
taehyung •_• [12:32 a.m.]
i’m not in love
not yet
but i think i could be
it’s too confusing too fast
jin-hyung [12:35 a.m]
it’ll be ok taehyung-ah :)
read
-
xv.
taehyungie [10:15 a.m.]
good morning jimin :)
do you want to get breakfast with me today? or lunch maybe
jiminie [10:30 a.m.]
hi! sure do you have a place in mind ‘,:)
taehyungie [10:32 a.m.]
i can make pancakes and draw snowmen on them with whipped cream
jiminie [10:33 a.m.]
oh! sounds delicious count me in
taehyungie [10:33 a.m.]
[location attached]
i’ll see you soon then!
jiminie [10:34 a.m.]
see you! <3
read
.
taehyung usually spends christmas alone.
sometimes literally, sometimes figuratively. it depends on the year.
this year, taehyung is running around his apartment cleaning because jimin is coming over, and he knows for a fact that jeongguk has left a sock somewhere.
aha.
behind the tv.
classic.
the doorbell rings through the space signalling jimin’s arrival, and the sock finds itself being shoved into taehyung’s pocket. taehyung runs up to the door with little grace and pulls it open almost immediately.
jimin looks like a dream.
“hi.”
“happy christmas, taehyungie.”
jimin pushes the small gift box sitting in the palm of his hand toward taehyung and closes his fingers around it. taehyung feels bad; he didn’t get anything.
“i didn’t get you anything…”
jimin only smiles. taehyung likes his smile.
“that’s okay, we’re doing pancakes today!”
sometimes taehyung feels confident.
not often. but it happens.
“can we count this as date number two?”
“oh,” jimin whispers. his face lights up pink. “i guess so.”
“okay.”
jimin’s lips are still soft and welcoming as taehyung adds his own to the mix. his forearms rest on jimin's shoulders, the tips of his fingers meeting behind his neck. he feels safe here. with jimin’s thumbs home on his cheekbones.
they hold on.
“happy christmas, jimin-ah.”
jimin doesn’t reply, but that’s okay. taehyung likes kissing him all the same.
(they do make pancakes, but taehyung can only make five before jimin forces them to watch the notebook until they fall asleep. and maybe it takes longer because their lips find home.)
-
xvi.
taehyung’s winter painting goes forgotten until he sets his canvas back up and locks himself in his room for the whole day. jeongguk has been stopping by to drop off snacks, and taehyung has been placing the sticky notes that accompany them on his dresser.
-happy birthday, hyung!
-i got you a chocolate croissant
-jin-hyung wants you to text him about dinner
there’s a small drawing of a pink rabbit on the back of them that taehyung knows means jeongguk has used these as a distraction in class.
(there’s a heart-headed figure in the corner of his own notes; he gets bored in philosophy sometimes.)
he paints, and he thinks about jimin and the colour grey and snowflakes between kisses. taehyung likes spending time with jimin. he likes the way the ocean in his mind settles and rolls in simple waves.
he also likes the art that runs through jimin’s veins and courses through his entire being. it means they understand each other. it’s why, when taehyung finally picks his phone up as the sun disappears from view, jimin has already left several messages. (“don’t overwork yourself.” “but if you do, i’ll come over, and we can do something.”)
tae <3 [5:06 p.m.]
hi
i miss you
taehyung busies himself with cleaning up his space in the event that jimin still wants to come over. he doesn’t think about how this is so new to him. how someone wants to share his space with him.
guk [5:13 p.m.]
jimin is outside
i’m going to bother namjoon-hyung
happy birthday again
tae-hyung [5:13 p.m.]
thank you :) ily
read
jimin knocks on his door just as taehyung tucks the painting away under his desk. he wastes no time in tackling taehyung onto the bed and peppering kisses across his face.
taehyung feels like he’s made of nothing. light and floaty and dazed beyond his mind.
“happy birthday, idiot.”
“that’s not very nice,” taehyung says, eyeing the faux scowl on jimin’s face.
“i haven’t seen you all day. and it’s your birthday. how would you feel if your boyfriend was m.i.a. on his birthday?”
boyfriend.
taehyung looks up at jimin, eyes sprinkled with something more than like. “sad. i’d miss you very much.”
the dancer stares back at him like taehyung just spoke directly to his heart. (maybe he did.)
“...i forgive you.”
thank you.
i love you.
do you love me?
their lips meet again, and a symphony plays through jimin’s head. a dance calls to him, pressing against his fingertips and bleeding through his ribs. taehyung sees colour, drops of lavender and gold against the curves of his skull, pastel blue and cherry red against his tongue.
will you hold me?
touch me?
love me?
and they perform slowly in the hills of white sheets, making art through song and dance, and setting fire to the stage that is their skin. they study each other once, and then twice, and then five times until there’s no page left unturned.
and when the curtains close, their names nothing but a whisper caught upon their lips, they float and float and lose themselves.
(but jimin feels grounded against taehyung’s bare skin, and taehyung is steady where he is. he is certain.)
-
xvii,
winter break ends sooner than it arrived, and the new year comes barreling in.
(that is to say, it took them by surprise.)
jimin and taehyung spent the majority of it together and then protested when their friends wanted to spend time with them separately. and then one night they merged on new year’s eve because it was inevitable, and it’ll just have to suck for one min yoongi.
art kids (+ namjoon)
jinnie [5:23 p.m.]
movie night at 7 be there (taehyung and jeongguk’s place) or be ⬛️
min suga [5:26 p.m.]
you’re not funny
jinnie [5:26 p.m.]
you’re already with me you can’t talk :)
tae [5:30 p.m.]
we’ll be there too… obviously
no squares for us
jimin [5:31 p.m.]
no squares!
namjoon [5:33 p.m.]
we’re good too. who’s picking tonight?
jk [5:34 p.m.]
it’s jimin’s turn i think
jimin [5:37 p.m.]
i’ll choose something so good dw guys!
hobi! [5:56 p.m.]
sorry i just got home!
oh.
we’re going to watch the notebook
jk [6:00 p.m.]
tae-hyung can u grab more tissues on ur way home
tae [6:02 p.m.]
yeah
read by 6.
.
their friend group is still small, but now jimin sees how all the strings connect. how yoongi and seokjin argue with one another while pressed together on the couch. how jeongguk is the only person aside from hoseok intently watching namjoon speak.
this feels right.
taehyung also feels right.
taehyung, who’s falling asleep with his head in jimin’s lap because he loves the notebook and watching it with jimin, but it makes him sleepy.
(jimin in general makes him sleepy, but that’s beside the point.)
“hey, taehyungie.”
taehyung looks up, eyes weary and confused.
jimin surveys the room; no one is even paying attention to them.
good.
“do you want to go sleep?”
a determined pout makes its way into taehyung’s face. jimin thinks he’s cute. “no. it’s not even done yet.”
“you’re half asleep. we can always watch it again another day.”
taehyung considers this. it’s a compelling argument.
“okay.”
(will you stay till my vision is dark and my heart slows?)
jimin untangles their limbs from their place on the floor and moves them out of the living room. hoseok and yoongi watch them leave; neither say a word.
jimin knows taehyung’s room fairly well. his desk is neatly organized, art supplies tucked away in one corner, while sheet music is stored in the other — safe from any paint accidents. there’s a corner of taehyung’s nightstand that’s missing, and jimin noticed that one day after taehyung knocked his desk chair against it.
it makes sense.
he makes himself comfy in taehyung’s bed, under the fluffy white duvet and more pillows than one probably needs. taehyung studies his face before sliding in beside him.
“since when did you own my bed?”
“i don’t own it. it just likes me,” jimin replies, backing himself up against taehyung’s chest. taehyung moulds to fit around him.
“ah. naturally.”
jimin reaches an arm back and pets taehyung’s face, narrowly missing his eyes. “shhh, now. sleep.”
“i’m going to bite you.”
“hey!” jimin holds the pair of hands around his stomach with his own. “you said you don’t bite.”
there’s a soft hum that comes from behind him, which…
he’ll pay that no mind.
“goodnight, taehyung-ah.”
“goodnight, ‘min.”
.
i love you, maybe.
-
xviii.
with the reopening of the performance building, both jimin and taehyung find themselves practicing into the night.
except it’s different because taehyung knows jimin is two doors down, and jimin is still captivated by the mystery pianist beside him. taehyung should probably tell him soon. he’s not worried; piano is a skill, and he has it. he’s a little proud sometimes.
taehyungie <3 [12:23 a.m.]
hey jimin
do you like piano
taehyung hears the introduction of silence in the absence of jimin’s music and waits patiently.
jimin <3 [12:27 a.m.]
um
i think it’s cool
why
taehyungie <3 [12:27 a.m.]
wanna hear me play?
.
(say yes. say yes. say yes.)
.
jimin <3 [12:28 a.m.]
wtf!
yes of course just tell me when and i will clear my whole schedule for you
taehyungie <3 [12:29 a.m.]
what about right now
jimin <3 [12:29 a.m.]
well. i’m practicing right now so i can meet you here i guess
read
taehyung rises from the piano bench and runs his fingers along the wall as he walks down the hall. jimin’s silhouette is bleeding into the floor, his figure sitting straight in his room.
he appears composed.
“hi.”
jimin tenses before realizing who’s in his bubble with him. taehyung doesn’t pop it; more melts into it with ease.
“you got here so fast.”
taehyung smiles. knowingly. “i was just down the hall.”
“excuse me?”
jimin stands, takes taehyung’s outstretched hand, and follows him in silence back down the hallway.
taehyung plays nocturn no.2 in c minor, and maybe jimin kisses him.
maybe because he remembers.
(i remember you.)
-
xix.
sometimes jimin pushes himself too hard.
sometimes taehyung finds him with bruises littered across his skin because that’s how it goes, and he knows better than to ask.
and when he pushes himself to the brink of exhaustion, an eclipse of devastation between himself and failure, taehyung sees greys and dark violets.
“hi,” jimin says from his position on the floor.
taehyung steps into the room, brushing snow out of his hair. he reaches out, and his fingers graze the yellowed bruises against jimin’s bones.
“tae.”
taehyung flinches. “sorry. do they still hurt?”
with a sigh, jimin tucks his feet under his thighs. his head feels heavy tonight. like if he lets go, it’ll fall to the floor and spill open. “they always hurt.”
“do you wish they didn’t hurt?”
do you wish i didn’t come?
i’m sorry.
jimin’s eyes land on taehyung’s fingers; scraped and covered in paint. “i wish i never got them in the first place.”
it’s quiet.
and then taehyung unzips his bag and produces a broken flower lily. he places it atop one set of bruises and smiles, shy.
jimin answers him in the only way he can.
taehyung tastes lavender.
-
xx
as winter and a long valentine’s day escape them and spring takes their place, jimin becomes the lone occupant of the performing arts building. taehyung can focus on his paintings now, and jimin is working harder on his end-of-year performances.
(for taehyung, it’s not just the weather.)
jimin takes to practicing barefoot–
grounded.
it’s warmer now.
–and taehyung paints frozen rivers, cracking and home to budding roses.
.
art kids (+ namjoon)
jk [1:04 p.m.]
who wants to film something with me
jinnie [1:05 p.m.]
what is it?
jk [1:08 p.m.]
it’s like a vlog except it’s more a video of me cooking a meal
but the meal needs to be good and the video has to be entertaining
tbh i don’t understand the assignment bc what does this have to do with the culinary arts
i thought this was a nutrition class
hobi! [1:10 p.m.]
wow
does it need to be healthy??
or highly nutritious
jk [1:10 p.m.]
yeah i’m seeing that now
so who wants to help
min suga [1:13 p.m.]
yeah i’ll help
tae [1:13 p.m.]
oh wow
jinnie [1:14 p.m.]
do you need more than one person.
jk [1:14 p.m.]
um
sure
tae [1:17 p.m.]
i’ll help out
jimin [1:17 p.m.]
count me and hobi-hyung in too!
hobi! [1:18 p.m.]
and joon :)
jinnie [1:19 p.m.]
oh no
jk [1:19 p.m.]
thanks namjoon-hyung…
min suga [1:22 p.m.]
you guys are so mean
jinnie [1:22 p.m.]
[image attached]
tae [1:23 p.m.]
wow hyung even you agreed with them
min suga [1:25 p.m.]
seokjin i’m breaking up with you
jinnie [1:25 p.m.]
you’re funny that's why i love you
min suga [1:26 p.m.]
🖕
jk [1:26 p.m.]
anyway…
i’ll see all of you in two days (wednesday. pls remember)
namjoon [1:32 p.m.]
i need new friends. you guys are awful
jimin [1:33 p.m.]
noooo we love you :(
namjoon [1:33 p.m.]
oh thanks jimin
jimin [1:34 p.m.]
ofc! ily joonie <3
read by 6.
.
(namjoon supervises with hoseok’s hand in his, yoongi and seokjin help jeongguk cook, and taehyung watches jimin operate the camera with the moon in his eyes.)
(taehyung is at home.)
-
xxi.
sometimes taehyung is overcome with a swell of inspiration.
sometimes he creates until his limbs ache and his eyes are red, overwhelmed by the pace his brain is working at.
and when he collapses into jimin’s arms late in the night, he lays still under the weight of jimin’s fifteen-pound blanket. his bed smells like his heart. he rests knowing the body next to his own is content with its eyes wide open, fingers laced with his.
(don’t leave me.)
(don’t come and go.)
(i love you.)
-
xxii
“what do you fear the most?”
taehyung replies, but his eyes remain glued to the ceiling of the practice room. “loss.”
losing you.
losing myself.
“loss,” jimin repeats. “mine is jin-hyung.”
a laugh bubbles in taehyung’s throat and escapes before he can stop it. “jin-hyung… yeah, i see it.”
they fall back into silence.
“i might fear failure more.”
tell me i’m real.
say i’m okay.
i’m not a failure.
“failure?”
jimin blinks up, eyes glassy, but still. “yeah. more than normal. i don’t know what i’m doing.”
taehyung doesn’t move. doesn’t take his hand. he leaves jimin’s bubble intact.
“who says you need to? you like what you do and you’re good at it.” jimin intertwines their fingers, the gesture paints taehyung’s face with a smile. “in two weeks you’re going to be on that stage down there and if you don’t get it then it doesn’t even matter. you’re good at what you do. no one can take that from you.”
jimin squeezes their hands and finds comfort in the way taehyung does it back.
three whole times.
-
xxiii.
taehyung is an artist in two definitions of the word.
he puts colour to canvas, and he derives sound from wood and strings. he is a creator. he is a lover of passion.
he studies art history and philosophy, and he finally, finally has inspiration again.
he is the boyfriend of a dancer and the friend of a producer.
taehyung is skilled, and he is nuanced, and he fills galleries with his work. he is an artist and proud of his work — the extension of his soul.
.
jimin is standing across the room, animatedly discussing his final performance with his classmates. his friends wait throughout the space, a dancer and his not-boyfriend-boyfriend wait close to the performers, compliments sitting between their lips. min yoongi and his seokjin sit by the door, smiling to themselves, acting as if they’re alone.
jeongguk finds taehyung in the foyer, stationed against a wall, scrolling through dates for his summer exhibition, lavender currents. “hyung, did you ever finish your painting? the one you started in december? i saw it the other day.”
taehyung looks away from jeongguk to find jimin’s eyes. jimin, who’s already glancing at him with a smile.
i love you.
“no,” he says. his eyes are still locked with jimin’s. “i’ll leave it for later. i’ve got time.”
-
xxvi.
(the painting comes out every winter for the next three years.)
(“i love you.” “i love you.”)
fin.