Chapter Text
For as long as Sunny could remember, he would occasionally have a special kind of dream. He could recognize them in a few ways – they were far more vivid than usual, almost looking and feeling like reality. His mind, which would usually be foggy and slow in dreams, was completely clear during them, allowing him to always recognize that he was in fact dreaming. They lasted an unusually long time – they typically went on for hours, as if they took up almost the entire time he was asleep. They always started exactly the same way: he would be in a blank white room, expanding to infinity, with only a single white door casting a faint shadow.
And no matter what, from beginning to end, Mari would always be there with him.
His earliest memories of this place were often more subdued. Though the dreams always started in this white void, the world beyond the door shaped itself to his will – well, to be more accurate, his or Mari’s. Back when he was two and Mari was five, she was typically the one driving the broad details of the dream; and accounting for his lower mobility at his young age, she stayed away from the kinds of wild adventures they would later go on.
That wasn’t to say he had any complaints – he was more than happy to play with toys, building block structures larger than he could ever lift in real life; or climb around giant playgrounds, sliding down hundred-foot slides in Mari’s lap; or play at a beach the two of them had entirely to themselves; as long as Mari was here with him. He was sure he could be happy watching paint dry, if his big sister was by his side.
Not that she would ever make him do something so boring as that – she was always attentive to him, making sure that he was having fun; that he wasn’t scared, or uncomfortable, or lonely. Sometimes, it felt like she cared more about his mood than her own.
He recalled how he would show her things he had made – a crudely scribbled drawing, or a lopsided sandcastle – gently tugging at her shirt as he pointed to his work, softly saying “Mawi” – his first word, and the one he had spoken more than any other since he began to talk. There was always a nervous buzz in his stomach when he did so – desperate for her approval, afraid that she would think it was bad and be disappointed in him.
And always, Mari’s face would light up like a Christmas tree, pulling him into her arms without hesitation as she called out praise – “It’s amazing!” or “Sunny! You’re so talented!”. He would melt into her arms, resting his face against her chest as he listened to her heartbeat, the warmth of her touch flooding through him and the slightest curl of the lips coming to his normally neutral face.
There was no shortage of such physical affection between them in these dreams. At the start of them, when Mari saw that he was there, she wasted no time wrapping her arms around him, nuzzling her cheek against the top of his head and calling his name like he was the most exciting thing in the world. All throughout their time there, they would touch each other as naturally as breathing – holding hands as they walked together; Sunny sitting in Mari’s lap or leaning against her side when they were still; Mari hugging Sunny for the slightest of reasons, or no reason at all. And at the end of almost every one of them, when they were tired out from the night’s activities, they would simply lie down together, cuddling in a bed, or near a campfire, or gazing up at the night sky.
Despite everything – all the freedom of choice, all the power they had over the world, all the fun activities they did – this last bit of the dreams was always Sunny’s favorite. Cuddling with Mari was the greatest pleasure in his life – her warmth surrounding and seeping into him; her softness enveloping him like the best blanket in existence; her hand stroking tenderly through his hair and sending shivers down his spine; her arms holding him firmly to her chest, secure in the knowledge that she would always keep him safe. Just lying there pressed against her, hearing her soft breathing and heartbeat, feeling her stomach rise and fall… he could fall asleep in moments if he wasn’t already dreaming.
But as much as Sunny loved these dreams, back then, they weren’t actually all that important to him. Sure, in them he could do whatever his heart desired… but what his heart desired above all else was Mari, and he already had her. In real life, Mari was no different than she was in those dreams. She was still endlessly loving and attentive to him, taking care of him however she could. Her eyes still lit up gleefully whenever she saw him. She still hugged him, and pet his head, and let him sit in her lap, and cuddled with him in her bed when he had nightmares. She had to go to school most days, of course, but whenever she was at home, the two of them stuck together every second they could. He was as close to Mari as he could ever ask for – so why would he want the Mari in his dreams when he could be with the real Mari instead?
He had, of course, realized by this point that the Mari he spent these dreams with couldn’t actually be his real sister. He was dreaming, after all – no matter how realistic those dreams felt – and people couldn’t share dreams. As perfectly as his mind had managed to recreate his big sister, she was still ultimately an elaborate dream character. So he was fine with only having these dreams once every month or two – the real Mari was better anyway.
As a couple years passed, he began to take a larger role in controlling the dreams, and their content started to become more adventurous. They would fly around space commanding the crew of their own spaceship, or go on quests to slay a dragon and save a kingdom. In these new dreams, they would often run into other people, ranging from ordinary humans to living sprout moles. But Sunny came to learn that these other beings were ultimately just simple characters, under as much control as everything else in the dream world: though they would act on their own if left to their own devices, he could dictate their actions and personalities – even create them from thin air – if he willed it.
Only Mari was completely untouchable. Only she acted entirely to her own desires, even if he tried to will otherwise. Not that he had any reason to – just by being a faithful recreation of the real Mari, she already did everything he could ever want her to.
Sunny remembered the first time they had gone flying. It was Mari’s idea – she had approached him during one of their adventures, asking, “Hey, Sunny… wanna try something cool?”
He tilted his head, staring at her curiously, but ultimately nodded. With a grin, Mari wrapped her arms around him – and the next moment, his feet were off the ground as he was rapidly carried a hundred feet in the air, supported only by her grip on him. He turned his head to look below him for a moment… and immediately regretted it, burying his head back into Mari’s chest when he saw how far he had to fall. His breathing became rapid, clinging onto Mari for dear life.
The playful cheer in Mari’s voice gave way to tender comforting, and she began to stroke one hand through his hair. “It’s okay, Sunny. I’m right here with you. I won’t let you fall.” He nuzzled closer to her at the reassurance, still unable to calm down. “It’s not as scary as you think. Just take deep breaths with me, okay? In… and out.”
She guided him through the timing, taking slow breaths that he followed through the feeling of her chest rising against him. For a few minutes, they remained like that, Sunny focusing only on Mari’s embrace and his own breathing, until the panic gripping his heart started to subside. Finally, he looked up at Mari’s face with timid eyes, and she smiled warmly down at him, her hair falling like a curtain around him.
“See? It’s not so bad. You can fly too – all you have to do is imagine it!”
Once again, Sunny looked down at the ground far below him… it still tied his stomach in knots, but it wasn’t quite so daunting anymore. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and imagined himself floating, hovering in the air under his own power. As he felt the pull of gravity abate, Mari steadily loosened her grip, pulling back until they were only connected by the hands. He opened his eyes, staring at Mari with excitement in them… until, without warning, Mari let go of his hands, leaving him completely unsupported in the air.
For a moment, a sharp spike of fear pierced his heart, and he instinctively flailed his hands forward to try and latch back onto Mari’s. But in the next moment, he realized that he hadn’t dropped at all – even without any help from his sister, he was still flying in the air, completely on his own.
In wonder, he propelled himself forwards, feeling the wind blow past him and taking in the scenery from this high up. Experimenting more, he circled around Mari, rising higher and higher.
She followed him up, launching herself forwards to capture him in a hug that tumbled through the air, Mari giggling. “Look at you, Sunny! I’m so proud of you!” He rubbed his cheek against her affectionately in response, his heart feeling fuzzy and a faint dusting of pink crossing his cheeks.
With that, they started flying in earnest, heading towards a nearby mountain. Sunny reached out to take Mari’s hand – a gesture she readily accepted – not because he was scared, this time, but just because he wanted her touch. Together they flew over mountains and oceans, through clouds and above thunderstorms. When the sun set, they passed over dazzling city lights and watched fireworks explode beside them in the sky. By the end of it all, Sunny was having so much fun that his fear of heights was only a distant memory.
That night, they ended their dream by cuddling on a cloud, sinking into its softness that was rivaled only by Mari’s embrace. They looked out at twin sets of lights, the stars above them and the city below them, coming together into a stunningly beautiful sight.
“Did you have fun tonight?” Mari asked him as he leaned on her shoulder, the two of them lying side by side.
Sunny nodded eagerly, drawing a giggle from Mari. “I’m glad. I did too.” With a kiss to his forehead, she concluded, “I love you, Sunny.”
Sunny wasn’t very talkative, especially back then – he rarely said more than a few words in a day. But when Mari said she loved him, in reality or in dreams, he simply couldn’t remain silent. He had to respond in turn – to try and convey even a tiny fraction of the overwhelming adoration that filled his heart to bursting, even if she could never truly understand just how important she was to him.
So, as he always did, without fail, he quietly mumbled, “…Love you too.”
Sunny remembered when Mari had taught him how to swim. That night, Mari had opened the door in their dreamworld to a world of ocean as far as the eye could see, who knows how deep.
“How about we go swimming tonight, Sunny?” she asked, gesturing to the world she had created.
Sunny looked down sheepishly. “…Can’t,” he admitted.
“Then I’ll teach you!” Mari cheerfully offered. “What do you say?”
Looking back up at her, Sunny hesitantly nodded.
With a thought, the two of them were changed into swimsuits and stepping through into the water, Sunny considerably more nervous than his sister.
The ocean water was already at the perfect warmth – a luxury of being in a dream world – but that wasn’t enough to stop anxiety from bubbling up in his chest as he looked around and realized this ocean truly extended in every direction, with no dry land in sight.
Thankfully, as he sunk further, his feet touched ground beneath him – the water in this part of the ocean was unusually shallow, just enough to keep his head above water while standing. He was silently thankful to Mari for this mercy in her design, even if it didn’t completely quell his fear.
She spoke again, her voice giving him a focal point to distract himself from the endless water surrounding him. “Let’s get started, okay?” He turned to face her, and she took his hands in hers. “Here – I’ll take care of your upper body for now; you just have to focus on kicking your legs.”
He tried to follow her instructions, raising his legs from the sea floor, but they just dropped back down before he could reach the surface.
“You’re getting there, Sunny! Just put a little more force into it, and start kicking your legs before they get to the surface.” As he made another attempt with Mari’s pointers, she started stepping backwards steadily, pulling him along with her – and before he knew it, he was horizontal, kicking the water behind him.
“That’s it!” Mari encouraged. “Now, just work on the rhythm of your kicking…”
Over the next few minutes, Mari guided him through improving his kicking while holding him up by the hands, telling him to lift his legs higher, or not that high, or to kick faster. The whole time, he just stared at her face in front of him, enamored with her as always. He had always thought she was pretty, and something about the backdrop of an endless ocean sparkling in the sunlight framed her face perfectly. (As if she wasn’t always perfect anyway…)
Finally, he was ready to move on to the next step, and he reluctantly let go of Mari’s hands. Mari gradually taught him how to do the arm crawls of freestyle, how to tread water, and how to do breaststroke, all within the safety of shallow water. And finally, when Mari deemed him ready, they swam towards deeper waters.
Though he was terrified of the idea – the thought that if he failed to stay afloat, there would be nothing below to stop him from drowning… as long as Mari was there, he knew it would be okay. She would always keep him safe. So, he followed her out, swimming after her as she slowed to keep pace with his less-practiced technique. And when Mari stopped to tread water and he followed suit, he realized there was no ground below to stand on, and he was staying above water just fine anyway. As much as that twisted his gut with unease, it also lit a small spark of pride in him.
He looked to Mari for approval, and she gladly gave it, pulling him into a hug that made it a little difficult to keep afloat. “You’re doing so well, Sunny! My little brother is such a quick learner…” The spark of pride grew into a flame, smothering his remaining doubt about being in such deep waters, and a near imperceptible smile came to his lips.
Then Mari pulled away from him again, and with a bit of mischief coming to her expression, she suggested, “Now… how about we go below the water?”
Before Sunny could question that at all, her head had already dipped below the water, his sister vanishing from sight completely. Her disappearance filled him with nervousness, which grew into full-blown panic as she still didn’t surface for ten seconds, then twenty.
“Mari?” he called out worriedly. If she wasn’t there, who would save him if he started to sink? And was she okay down there? It would be hard to hold her breath for much longer than this…
“Mari!?” he called again, frantically. It was getting close to a minute, and she still hadn’t come up… just when he was about to swallow his fear and dive below the surface to check on her, a big splash came from behind him, and an object lurched out of the water towards him.
“Boo!” Mari shouted as she latched onto his back, throwing her arms around him and leaning her head onto his shoulder. Sunny let out a small yelp of surprise, his body tensing at the shock, before relaxing as he realized it was just his sister – who laughed at his response.
Sunny puffed out his cheeks and crossed his arms as he turned away from her indignantly, the tips of his ears turning pink. “…Mean,” he complained – but he was sure she could see the mirth showing in his eyes, as she just laughed again.
“I know, it was mean,” Mari conceded with faux guilt, still grinning. “I’m sorry, Sunny. Can you forgive me?”
He leaned back against her, pressing the back of his head against her chest. They may have both been wet, but Mari’s embrace still felt even better than usual with the extra skin contact thanks to their swimsuits. “…Obviously,” he muttered.
Mari squealed with delight, squeezing him tighter and nuzzling her head against his. “Awww! Sunny! You’re so adorable! You’re so, so cute!”
Sunny turned in her grip to face her completely, pressing his face against her in an attempt to hide the blush that was rapidly spreading from his ears to the rest of his face. This was too much affection to handle… still, he never wanted it to end.
With a kiss to the top of his head, Mari said, “I love you so much, Sunny. You’re the best little brother in the whole world.”
Sunny was almost starting to feel dizzy from all this love. “You too,” he returned. “…Best sister. Ever.”
Her arms pulled him closer, if at all possible. “Thank you, Sunny,” she said, her teasing cheer from before giving way to sincere kindness. “That really means a lot.”
It felt strange to him, that Mari would love him so fiercely, that she would care so much about his opinion of her. She was so effortlessly amazing – graceful and beautiful, kind and loving, smart, a musical prodigy, good at everything she did. She did so much for him, teaching him all she could, helping him calm down when he was scared, praising any of his work, paying attention to him and understanding him when no one else could. And he… he was just the quiet, weird, useless boy she was forced to take care of. What did he ever do for her?
And yet, despite all odds, this wasn’t a trait unique to dream Mari. Even the real Mari showed all the same signs of loving and caring about him just as much. It was a miracle – and one Sunny would be forever grateful for, for as long as it lasted.
“Well, in any case… I was serious about going underwater, you know,” Mari said. “This ocean is special – you can breathe in the water just fine!”
Sunny looked down hesitantly.
Mari noted his nervousness. “Come on, I’ll show you – you can just put your face right below the surface.”
Though still reluctant, he ultimately nodded, before taking a deep breath and following her down beneath the water.
The first thing he noticed was how clear his vision was – there was none of the blur that he would expect from being underwater.
The second thing he noticed was how easily sound carried down here, as after Mari took a few breaths to demonstrate, she said, “Look! It’s perfectly safe!” Her voice sounded just as sharp as it did when they were above water.
And when he ultimately fearfully opened his mouth, taking a quick inhale while ready to break for the surface immediately, the last thing he noticed was that it didn’t even feel like water was entering his lungs – it just felt like he was breathing air.
In fact, aside from the fact that his skin felt wet and he could swim freely, it felt as though they weren’t underwater at all. His unease faded away, relaxing into how comfortable this sensation really was.
…It became even more comfortable when Mari took his hand, pressing her shoulder against his. “See? It’s fun, right?”
Sunny nodded, looking around himself and finally noticing what was below him: the glowing lights of what looked like an underwater city on the ocean floor, with houses made of giant seashells and streetlamps filled with bioluminescent fish.
His eyes widened with curiosity, and Mari spoke beside him. “Looks interesting, doesn’t it? Shall we go explore?”
With that, they set off on an adventure through this new city, meeting new faces, hunting for hidden treasure, and facing off against a shark… businessman… thing. And after all that time spent breathing water and learning how to swim, Sunny felt like he wasn’t so afraid of drowning anymore.
The next time their family had gone to the beach, Mari was surprised – and impressed – to see how well he could swim already, heaping praise on him. (A thought briefly crossed her mind, a memory from months ago, but… she shook her head. It was silly, after all.)
In his early childhood, Sunny had no qualms about hugging or touching Mari, but the more they grew up, the more anxious he became about it. At eight years old, it was starting to become a bit less normal for a little brother to still be so overly attached and clingy with his big sister. He started hesitating to grab her hand or hug her, worried that he would annoy her. When he woke up from nightmares, he was afraid to wake Mari in a silent request to sleep in her bed, wondering if it would be better to just try and fall asleep on his own, as impossible as it seemed.
But in dreams, there was no need for such pretense. The Mari in that world wasn’t real, so he didn’t have to worry about bothering her with his clinginess. When he had those special dreams with Mari – an event that was happening a bit more often these days – he shamelessly cuddled up to her as much as he wanted, making up for every time he had held back during the day.
Often, in their cuddling sessions at the end of a dream, Sunny would drape himself over her, lying on top of her and taking handfuls of her hair. He would play with it intently, stroking his hands through it or pressing his face into it.
“Is my hair really that interesting?” Mari had asked amusedly one time, lying motionless and accommodatingly letting Sunny fiddle with it.
Sunny nodded, still staring at the silky river of black in his hands. “…Soft. Pretty. …Smells good.”
“Is that so?” Mari smiled at him and squeezed him to her, her cheeks turning very slightly pink. “Well, in that case, feel free to touch it as much as you want!” He nodded in acknowledgement, continuing to do just that.
Sunny remembered when he had gotten over his fear of spiders. It was on one of their adventures in a fantasy land, wielding swords and magic on a journey to save the world. They were walking through a dark forest, the canopy of leaves above them blocking out most daylight, and Sunny felt like a monster could jump out at them at any moment. He especially didn’t like the cobwebs spread between some of the trees, and the presences they implied…
And speak of the devil, from around the next cluster of trees, a huge black shape emerged, taller and wider than him and Mari combined. Its main spherical body was covered in fur, eight orbs on the front reflecting the dim light of the forest in strange and terrifying ways. Eight sharp limbs emerged from the sides of the body, each looking large and powerful enough to pierce straight through his heart.
At the first sight of the massive spider, Sunny froze in place. His stillness lasted only a few moments, though, before he quickly ran to Mari’s back, hiding behind it and peeking past her with one eye, his hands clutching her shirt. The pace of his breathing quickened, and he squeezed his eyes shut in fear. He was scared for Mari too, but right now he was quaking in terror, and all he could do was rely on her to protect him.
Until his protector stepped out of his grip, approaching the spider as if it wasn’t a threat at all. His heart pounded, in the clutches of panic, and he called out, “Mari-”
…And then he stopped, confused. Mari was… petting it? And it was letting her?
“You’re so cute!” Mari cooed at the giant arachnid, filling Sunny with bafflement at his sister’s tastes… as well as a twinge of jealousy. Towards a spider. What am I thinking?
Mari looked back over her shoulder at him, and gestured him forward with a jerk of her head. “Come on, there’s nothing to be afraid of, Sunny! This little sweetheart wouldn’t hurt a fly!”
Sunny once again questioned his sister’s senses – because one, there was nothing little about that thing; and two, hurting flies was, in fact, the primary thing spiders did. But… he also trusted Mari, always; and in the end… he knew he could never refuse her.
He stepped slowly up to the arachnid, watching out for any signs of hostility, and wondering if he was really going to do this. He looked at Mari, who was still happily petting the spider’s head – yep, I’m still jealous of a spider – and resolved himself, taking the last few steps towards the spider and quickly setting his hand down on its main body before he could rethink it.
Oh. It was… soft. Fuzzy. He brought his other hand up to it as well, stroking through the furry texture as its owner sat there obligingly, and then pressed his face into it completely, nuzzling into its body. It almost felt like petting a cat…
A hand came to rest on his head, stroking through his hair, and he melted between the two soft touches on either side of him. “There you go! You’re so brave, my little Sunshine…”
…Yep. Petting the spider was definitely the right choice. No regrets.
After a couple minutes more of that, Mari suggested, “Let’s ride it the rest of the way! I’ll help you up.” She clambered on top of its huge body, straddling its thorax and extending a hand to Sunny.
He didn’t hesitate long before taking it, no longer so scared of the giant arachnid – it started to feel more like a big dog to him than anything else. Mari pulled him up in front of her, seating him right in his lap, and he easily settled into the familiar position, leaning back against her comfortably. She instinctively put her arms around him in return, securing him in his favorite seat for the ride ahead.
The spider happily carried the two of them through the forest, the wind blowing through their hair as it navigated the cramped spaces far more quickly than the two of them ever could on foot. Sunny had ridden horses a few times in dreams (though never in reality), and this felt strangely similar to that, except more stable.
A few minutes into the trip, Sunny spoke quietly. “…Refrigerator.”
He could feel Mari tilting her head from its position atop his own. “Hm?”
“The spider. …Naming it Refrigerator.”
Mari processed this for a moment, then started to giggle. Her giggles intensified over a few seconds, turning into a full-on laughing fit that left her breathless.
Sunny pouted, his cheeks burning. “…Rude.”
This wasn’t enough to stop Mari from laughing, though. “I-I know, I’m – I’m sorry!” Her words were punctuated by another wheeze. She didn’t sound very sorry.
“…’ts a good name,” Sunny protested.
“It is! It’s a great name! I like it!” Mari insisted between laughs.
Sunny just crossed his arms and blushed harder, entirely unconvinced. Mari’s giggling finally dying down, she pulled him towards her, fondly saying, “I love you so much, Sunny.”
…Well. He couldn’t exactly stay mad at her now. He just closed his eyes and relaxed in her embrace, mumbling his own words of affection in reply.
(A couple days later, Mari had seen the drawing he made of Refrigerator. She praised it as usual, telling her little brother in earnest how talented he was.
But as she talked, one thought lodged itself in her mind: What a strange coincidence.)
Soon, their family moved to a new town. It was strange – scary and exciting in equal measure – but he wasn’t too worried. No matter what, Mari would still be there with him.
Faraway town wasn’t all that different from their previous home. It was still a small, cozy suburb, if perhaps a bit more densely packed. There was one major change, though: the Suzuki siblings now had neighbors of similar ages to them.
They were introduced to Hero and Kel on their first day in town, Sunny shyly clinging to his sister’s side while the other three were far more social. Sunny didn’t open up to them very easily – but they were a consistent presence over the following weeks, and between the brothers’ persistence and Mari’s encouragement, he eventually started to feel comfortable with the two.
Kel was energetic and endlessly friendly, eager to play with Sunny at any opportunity. His liveliness could get a little overwhelming for Sunny sometimes, but he wouldn’t ever want the other boy to change. Hero was significantly calmer, though no less companionable; and while Sunny didn’t feel quite as close to him as to Kel, Hero began to feel a bit like an older brother to him.
It was the first time Sunny had really had friends other than Mari – the experience was unfamiliar, but not unwelcome. Of course they would never compare to his big sister, but he was glad to have them in his life.
The first time he had one of his special dreams since meeting them, he was half-expecting the two of them to show up in the white room with him. But in the end, it was just him and Mari as usual. He felt a touch of disappointment at that… but also a strange relief.
After Mari greeted him with a hug as always, she made note of the same thing. “Looks like Hero and Kel aren’t here… but I’m sure we can make them show up out there.” She gestured to the white door with her head. “Does that sound good?”
Sunny hesitated for a moment, but nodded his head nonetheless. He was sure it would be fun to play with them here, where they could let their imagination run wild. And it wasn’t like Mari wouldn’t be there just because Kel and Hero were.
So, on the other side of the door, he and Mari created dream versions of Hero and Kel, and set off on an adventure. The four of them had been reading the new Captain Spaceboy comic, and Sunny took inspiration from it, conjuring up an adventure through outer space. Mari was the captain of their spaceship, Sunny her first mate, Hero the navigator, and Kel manned the weapons.
As they explored the stars, negotiating or fighting with various alien races… while Sunny was having fun, he couldn’t shake a feeling of unease. Every time Mari shouted orders to Hero or praised Kel on a job well done, it just felt… wrong, that the two brothers were here.
This feeling wasn’t helped by the fact that they weren’t exactly accurate recreations of the real Hero and Kel, either. There was something fake about them, the same way other dream characters felt a bit simplistic – Kel was too loud and active, Hero too confidently charming. Their actions could be controlled by Sunny and Mari, they couldn’t directly alter the dream world, and they weren’t even aware of the fact that this was a dream in the first place. They were nothing like Mari.
When the dream wound down and he began cuddling with Mari, the brothers thankfully left, easing the pit in Sunny’s stomach. As his big sister stroked his hair, she commented on the night’s dream. “Well, it looks like Hero and Kel are just normal dream characters. But we can still keep playing with them here from now on, if you like.”
Immediately, Sunny’s chest tightened, something in him vehemently protesting, No!
The next moment, the feeling in his chest gave way to guilt. It wasn’t that he didn’t like Kel and Hero – they really were great. He was just… scared.
It was no surprise that Sunny had never had friends besides Mari before. He was awkward, shy, quiet – far from the type of person who attracted others to him.
What was surprising was that Mari had never had close friends besides Sunny before. This was something even he didn’t fully understand the reason for – Mari was kind, outgoing, sociable; everything that Sunny wasn’t. Practically everybody at their old school knew her, and there were few that knew her who didn’t like her. He was sure she could have had plenty of friends, if she wanted to… but it seemed like she just didn’t click with anyone there. Somehow, the only person Mari really wanted to spend time with was her weird little brother.
But now, things were different. Hero was Mari’s age and just as perfect and accomplished as she was – and she was actually choosing to be his friend and spend time with him, too. Sunny couldn’t help worrying: now that she saw what she was missing, now that she had such a better option… would she even want to spend time with him anymore?
The thought that she wouldn’t – that she would finally realize how worthless he really was and leave him behind – was too painful to bear. It may not have come to pass yet, but it felt like the inevitable conclusion of this change.
If… if she really did decide to abandon him, he would let her. He wanted her to be happy, in the end. He couldn’t keep dragging her down forever.
But at least here, in these special dreams… he didn’t want to lose her here, too. If he could just have this with her…
Sunny finally shook his head in reply to Mari’s question. Unable to keep the slight pleading tone out of his voice, he said, “…No. Want… just us.”
Mari squeezed him tighter, and laughed fondly. “As you wish, little brother. I’m more than happy to have some time alone with my cute Sunny.”
…Aaaand he was blushing again. That was one way to snap him out of his uneasiness… it was a wonder his cheeks weren’t permanently dyed red with how often Mari made him blush.
Another year passed, and despite all odds, Sunny’s dreadful prediction never came true. Even as their friend group expanded with the addition of Aubrey, Mari continued to put Sunny first. She kept giving him the same attention and affection as always when the whole group was together, and she always made time for them to spend alone together. He was really so lucky… far too lucky. He didn’t understand what he had done to deserve a sister like her – all he could do was be thankful for it.
Mari had picked up softball a few years prior, taking to the sport quickly. Sunny made sure to attend every one of her games that he could, watching in awe at her performance… and so he was there to see when her knee twisted and she fell to the ground, letting out a shout of pain.
Sunny shot up to a standing position immediately, his heart clenching. His parents, in the seats next to him, followed closely afterwards; but he didn’t wait for them before he was already running down onto the field, the anxiety he would normally feel at so many people watching him drowned out by the adrenaline and terror that Mari was hurt.
The game was already coming to a pause as it became clear that Mari wasn’t going to get back up, teachers jogging over to check on her – but Sunny was the first to reach her, dropping to his knees beside her and clutching her hand in both of his, feeling her squeeze back.
“Mari…” he choked out, his eyes watering.
“Sunny,” she replied in a pained voice, wiping away the tears that had started to form in her own eyes and forcing a smile. “I’m… okay.”
He glanced down at her knee, then had to look away. It… wasn’t supposed to bend like that. He shook his head at her. “…You’re hurt.”
By now other adults had swarmed Mari, including their parents. Their mother let out a gasp at the sight of her leg, putting a hand on her shoulder and tearfully insisting, “You’ll be okay, sweetie. Everything will be okay.”
Their father called an ambulance, and Sunny never stopped gripping Mari’s hand while they waited, his mind in a state of panic and tears freely flowing down his cheeks. And as much as she had to grit her teeth, fight back grimaces, and wipe away her tears; Mari just kept smiling the whole time, reassuring him, “Don’t worry, Sunny,” and “I’ll be fine.”
Why? Why did she always have to keep smiling, even when she was so obviously in pain? Why was she still worrying about him first at a time like this? Didn’t she realize that she was the most important thing here?
Sunny’s crying didn’t slow, no matter how much Mari tried to calm him, and he didn’t let go of her hand until she was carried into the ambulance and only one person could ride with her. The emergency vehicle drove off, Mari and her mother in tow, and all Sunny could do was stare at it leaving, frozen in place while his mind swirled with dark thoughts.
He remained stuck like that until his father placed a hand on his shoulder, startling him, and spoke stoically, his face not showing anything about how he was feeling. “Come on. I’ll drive us to the hospital.” Sunny nodded and followed after him in a daze, getting into the vehicle.
The ride was uncomfortably silent, as expected – Sunny and his father didn’t exactly speak directly to each other very often. Internally, however, was a different story; fears bouncing around and yelling out inside Sunny’s brain, with no sister there to assuage them. What if the injury didn’t heal? What if Mari could never walk again? What if, what if something went wrong, and she didn’t make it –
Take a deep breath, Sunny. It’s not as scary as you think.
He remembered Mari’s words, breathing in the rhythm she had taught him, and slowly began to let go of the inky black dread curled around his heart. He was being irrational – she hurt her knee; she wasn’t going to die. Injuries like this happened all the time. She would be okay.
Still… she was suffering. He didn’t want his big sister to ever be in pain. She didn’t deserve that.
Eventually, they reached the hospital, reuniting with Sunny’s mother, and waiting for Mari’s treatment to finish. It was all Sunny could do to remain calm, trying to focus on his breathing instead of his thoughts, for the long, agonizing minutes until they could finally see Mari.
She smiled at them as they entered, the expression becoming a bit more sincere as her gaze turned to Sunny. He was quick to her side, taking hold of her hand again, and she responded by pulling him closer and leaning her head on top of his. “Sunny… I’m glad you’re here.”
He nodded. Of course he would come. How could he not, at a time like this?
The doctor began speaking, telling them the details of Mari’s situation. Sunny listened intently, much of the more technical talk going over his head, but one part was clear:
“…it’s likely that she will never regain full function in the injured knee. She’ll have to avoid heavy exertion or stress to the leg from now on…”
Sunny’s eyes snapped to Mari, opening wide. She looked a bit shocked too, but noticed his attention on her and collected herself, putting on another smile.
When the doctor finished and they were all left alone again, Sunny spoke with concerned eyes. “Mari… will you… be okay?”
“I’m alright,” she reassured, showing no distress. “Even if I can’t do all the same things, I still have all our friends… and I still have my little brother, don’t I?” She ruffled his hair vigorously, leaving it messier than usual and making it hard to resist some mirth coming to his eyes.
The whole time, Mari was still smiling.
Mari was given crutches and a brace for her knee and released from the hospital that day. Sunny held tightly to her hand as they helped her into the car, as they rode home, and for as long as he could until they went to sleep that night. He wanted the gesture to console her, to provide her some fraction of the comfort she brought him… but it seemed like all he did was make her feel like she had to comfort him instead. She never gave a single complaint, never showed any sadness over her injury, for as long as he stayed by her side.
That night, he awoke in a white room he was greatly familiar with, next to a girl he couldn’t be more familiar with… except that the expression on her face was entirely unfamiliar.
With tears streaking down her cheeks openly, her eyes and cheeks red, Mari launched herself towards him, burying her face in his chest and gripping him tightly in her arms. She sniffled and sobbed quietly against him, wetness soaking through his shirt.
Sunny was frozen at first, startled at the situation that was entirely new to him. Mari never collapsed against him like this before… it was always him who needed to rely on her.
Still, when his beloved sister was so upset, there was no way he would just sit still. He hesitantly placed his arms around her, one hand gently stroking through her hair while the other rested on her back, and she melted into him further.
“Sunny…” she whined, her voice watery in a way he had never heard from her. “I hate this, Sunny… it hurts, and I have to use crutches, and it’s – it’s never going to get better…”
Sunny didn’t know what to say – he wasn’t good with talking; he couldn’t find the perfect words that would make her feel better. But he could at least keep hugging her, keep comforting her with all the methods she would use for him. He would hold her for as long as she needed.
“What do I do, Sunny?” Mari sobbed, the stream of her tears not slowing. “I don’t want to stop playing softball… I don’t want to have to sit out while the rest of you are playing… there’s so much I can’t do with you anymore.”
“…We’ll all still love you,” Sunny said – then, thinking more, decided to quietly add, “…I’ll always love you.”
Mari nestled closer to his chest, squeezing him as tightly as she could. “Sunny…”
She cried against him for a few minutes longer without talking, her mood slowly calming, until she had finally recovered enough to pull her head back from his chest, smiling at him genuinely through a disheveled, tear-streaked face.
“Sorry about that …” Mari apologized sheepishly, but Sunny shook his head.
“Don’t be. …Wanted to help.” Maybe that was why the dream Mari was acting like this… he had been surprised that she behaved so differently from real life, but he supposed that was his dream responding to his desire to help Mari – for her to actually express her feelings, so he could comfort her.
And… while he felt bad about saying the next thing, because he knew it wouldn’t help the real Mari… if he was going to comfort himself with a delusion of helping her, he may as well go all the way. “…You can still use it here,” he suggested.
“…That’s true,” Mari considered, sounding cheerier. “Hmm… how about I teach you how to play softball?”
So, they created a softball field beyond the door, along with other participants to fill out the teams. Kel, Hero, and Aubrey were among the members of their own team – while Sunny didn’t want them to always be present in these dreams, he was okay with occasionally having them join in situations like this. Mari taught him the ropes of the game – that which he hadn’t already picked up from watching her play many times – and led him through some practice before they started an actual round.
Though he failed to hit the ball many times, Mari kept cheering him on without fail… and he was pretty sure she was messing with the dream to help him out when his first glancing hit of the ball sent it flying out of the park.
Still, legitimacy of the game aside, he did have a lot of fun playing with Mari – and it seemed she did too, the sadness from her earlier breakdown forgotten in her carefree expression.
After their team snatched the victory in a dramatic last round and the sky had turned dark, the two of them summoned a bed in the middle of the field and cuddled together as usual, dismissing the rest of the dream characters.
Mari grinned at Sunny as she pressed her forehead to his. “Thank you, Sunny… you always make things better,” she said warmly. “I think I’ll be okay now.”
Sunny pulled himself closer to her, closing his eyes. A warmth filled his chest at her words… he could only hope that the real Mari felt the same way.
In the morning, Mari’s smile felt less forced, having had a good night’s rest; and from that day on, she started to adapt well to her new injury, learning to get around on crutches for the time being and finding other ways to spend time that would normally have involved physical activity.
Sunny stuck close by her through this time, paying close attention to help her out with whatever she needed. And in the coming months, whenever all the other members of the friend group were doing something Mari couldn’t participate in, Sunny sat with her and kept her company.
The first time he did so, while the others were running around playing tag, Mari saw through his intentions. “You don’t have to worry about me,” she had said with a smile. “I’m okay on my own for a bit. You should go play with your friends.”
But Sunny was resolute. Shaking his head and leaning it on her shoulder, he replied, “…You’re my friend too.”
Mari’s grin widened, and she pulled him to her chest, cuddling him closely and speaking lovingly. “Well… if you insist, I definitely won’t complain about spending more time with my adorable little brother.”
As his cheeks reddened, Sunny decided that this was definitely the right choice, after all.
Another year went by, another person joining their group. Even still, Mari never left him behind. In dreams or reality, the two of them remained as close as siblings could be, never holding back their love for each other.
Love was something Sunny was surrounded by in those days – from all his friends, who understood and appreciated him like no one else, who always seemed genuinely happy at his presence; and from his big sister, the most important person in the world, who may as well have been his heart itself. He truly felt like he couldn’t be happier than this.
Until all of a sudden, when Sunny was ten years old, everything started to change.
